All Grown Up and No Place to Go: Teenagers in Crisis

by David Elkind

Once our society set aside time for adolescents to grow from children to adults, to become accustomed to their expanding bodies and minds. Now the markers that defined passage—differences in dress, behavior, and responsibilities—have vanished. The institutions that guarded adolescence, such as family and schools, now expect “young adults” to deal with adult issues. Those trends leave teens no time to be teens.All Grown Up and No Place to Go spotlights the pressures on teenagers to grow up quickly. The resulting problems range from common alienation to self-destructive behavior. Quoting teenagers themselves, Elkind shows why adolescence is a time of “thinking in a new key,” and how young people need this time to get used to the social and emotional changes their new thinking brings. Many of his ideas, such as the “imaginary audience” that makes teens so self-conscious, have become seminal in adolescent psychology.Already there are more than 175,000 copies of All Grown Up and No Place to Go in print. In this thoroughly revised edition, Elkind also explores the “post-modern family” in which teenagers are growing up. He helps parents and those who work with youth and understand teens in crucial ways, because the root of so many adolescent frictions is the gap between what teenagers need and what our culture provides.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Education

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

David Elkind is an American child psychologist and author. His groundbreaking books The Hurried Child and Miseducation informed early childhood education professionals of the possible dangers of "pushing down" the elementary curriculum into the very early years of a child's life. By doing so, he argued, teachers and parents alike could lapse into developmentally inappropriate instructional and learning practices that may distort the smooth development of learning. He is associated with the belief of decline of social markers.

He also wrote Ties that Stress: The New Family Imbalance (1994), All Grown Up and No Place To Go (1988), and Reinventing Childhood (1988). His most recent article titled, "Can We Play?", is featured in Greater Good magazine (published by the Greater Good Science Center), and discusses how play is essential to positive human development but children are playing less than in previous eras.

from wikipedia.org

Reviews

[Alyssa Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

In All Grown Up and No Place to Go, David Elkind talks about how today’s society is increasing the stressors put onto adolescents and decreasing support due to the view that adolescents are sophisticated and able to make adult decisions. Because of this, they also have no time or space to establish their own identities and create a moral code that will help them make decisions when adults. Elkind stresses that adolescents need to be supported and given limitations so that they do not engage in risky behavior and have time to establish their identities. Additionally, adults should lead by example and base rules on principles rather than emotions. In this way, we can help our adolescents reduce the stress in their lives and achieve an integrated identity.

I think this book is more important than ever. While the passages he uses are largely drawn from fiction (which I found strange) and are slightly outdated, I think that the concepts Elkind present are still relevant and the issue of adolescents facing tougher challenges with less support needs to be addressed both within schools and within the home. And this book gives great advice both for teachers and parents to help adolescents succeed in today's world.

It's not too long and is a relatively fast read -- I do think some portions are unnecessary and can be skimmed, but the key to supporting adolescents is to understand where they're coming from and what they're dealing with. Although I think that there needs to be another updated version of this, what with the internet revolution, Elkind picks up on important ideas that can give adults a better sense of what it is to be a kid today. If you deal with adolescents on a regular basis in your job, or are the caregiver of adolescents, you should give this a read -- I found it to be incredibly helpful.

[Penny Ramirez · Rating 4 out of 5]

YA Lit class

[Jackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good informational reading. A reread for me.

[JaNel · Rating 2 out of 5]

What hit me strongest in this book was that if I've put time and effort into my children, I don't really need to worry about any out-of-character behavior during their teens. There should be consequences, of course, but I don't need to overreact when they test their boundaries or experiment with other ideas. This type of behavior is normal (though annoying) and if they have an "integrated" or strong sense of self then they will get through the stage with minimal damage.

He spent most of the book describing teens in crisis and the types of crises they could be having. The last 1/5 of the book was on strategies that could help with all teens. Not the best resource. And no real revelations. He also exaggerates the danger that most teens are in. He states that "protections for children have vanished." I don't understand this kind of thinking. Parents have most if not all of the control over their children until well into their teens: turn off the screen, say "no," set limits, decide what you want to happen and then follow through. Parents are and should be the control. Who else should control our children? We shoud expect the advertisers to decide what's best?

Schools for Scandal chapter has some good points.

p. 171 So true: "It is important to remember that peer pressure has no power...only with a patchwork self who lacks inner strengths."

p. 171 "Conforming teens [patchwork teens] want to grow up, but don't know how, so they go along with the crowd."

p. 201 "Deal w/ the principle, not w/ pressure." Focus on the principle of the question or situation rather than on the emotional stress.

Teens may be a headache sometimes, but they also have a special charm.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading for Fordham - I highly recommend this book. Very insightful, helpful to understand kids today/teens really. Reminds us of our own youth, can be daunting to think of our own kids going through it all, but it is what we need to know!

[Yaaresse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Developmental Psych read. Also, I've heard the author lecture on these topics a couple times. Interesting man and book.

[Audrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful.

[Deborah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightful