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On the Way to the Wedding: Transforming the Love Relationship
With deep understanding and practical wisdom, Linda Leonard writes about the longing for a true wedding, one that unites two beings in a sacred search for meaning in life. Exploring dreams, personal experiences, myths and fairy tales, and themes from films and literature, the author uncovers the inner obstacles to love and creativity as experienced by both men and women.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1986
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317 people want to read
About the author
Linda Schierse Leonard
23 books46 followersLinda Schierse Leonard, PhD, is a philosopher who trained as a Jungian analyst at the C.G. Jung Institute in Zurich. She is the author of many bestselling books, which have been translated into 12 languages.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 12, 2025
Your relationship to your significant other has potential for endless improvement!
My own life and that of my wife has borne that truth out. Now closing in on fifty years together, though we continually agree to disagree with one another, we realise when we are homing in on sacred territory.
You can take that two ways - and that's what I intended. For though we know each other's past in a nonspecific (ie, not lived through) manner, we can see when we've touched a nerve.
That's why this book meant so much to me in 1994.
I was totally stressed to the max in the workplace (see my review of Joseph Goldstein's remarkable Insight Meditation). I had suddenly seen I was being severely judged by senior management for my smoking habit.
Do you see? I was suddenly acutely aware of things I had never realised about my life: I was ascending a very steep learning curve very quickly.
The catalyst had been a book of pop psychology I had picked up a year or so earlier - Focusing.
That was the game changer. With a few leaps into the unknown I had catapulted into a midage crisis!
Live and learn.
I say the quicker the better!
You see, we were at the time I read these books ambling South of our comfortable Shire.
Until the first Dark Rider - a Black Ringwaith - galloped by. Suddenly we Hobbits were "left handed - lost." Where were the simple joys of youth?
Well, that's exactly what Linda Leonard says about our changing love life in On the Way to the Wedding: love continuously morphs. And that can lead to a messy separation or divorce.
We were not the cozy hobbits we were when we met! The intense Radiation of Mutated marriages threatened to petrify us both.
But my wife knows me, and she knows trauma has made me insecure. Nothing to be done!
A quick visit to the Enlightenment ward did the trick. No kidding - I was outta there the next afternoon for good behaviour!
It put the fear of God into me.
I was now prepared to Deal with this Ringwraith, whatever it was!
***
Well, I worked half days for a month after that, reading this in the mornings.
I learned here, as I said, that a marriage has to morph as it matures - as ours did so precipitously and suddenly.
Because my fellows, as I now saw through my wondering Aspie eyes, always see the whole world - through more dimmed eyes than mine - as constant occasion to sin.
It shook me. I clung hard to the Cross.
But my wife, praise God, has always been much the stronger half of this couple!
She got me through mid age crisis safely. And I clung to her too all the more tightly.
So what shall I give her for our fiftieth year together, in 2027?
The moon, maybe?
Out of the question...
She would only outshine it with her own North Star of Wisdom.
My own life and that of my wife has borne that truth out. Now closing in on fifty years together, though we continually agree to disagree with one another, we realise when we are homing in on sacred territory.
You can take that two ways - and that's what I intended. For though we know each other's past in a nonspecific (ie, not lived through) manner, we can see when we've touched a nerve.
That's why this book meant so much to me in 1994.
I was totally stressed to the max in the workplace (see my review of Joseph Goldstein's remarkable Insight Meditation). I had suddenly seen I was being severely judged by senior management for my smoking habit.
Do you see? I was suddenly acutely aware of things I had never realised about my life: I was ascending a very steep learning curve very quickly.
The catalyst had been a book of pop psychology I had picked up a year or so earlier - Focusing.
That was the game changer. With a few leaps into the unknown I had catapulted into a midage crisis!
Live and learn.
I say the quicker the better!
You see, we were at the time I read these books ambling South of our comfortable Shire.
Until the first Dark Rider - a Black Ringwaith - galloped by. Suddenly we Hobbits were "left handed - lost." Where were the simple joys of youth?
Well, that's exactly what Linda Leonard says about our changing love life in On the Way to the Wedding: love continuously morphs. And that can lead to a messy separation or divorce.
We were not the cozy hobbits we were when we met! The intense Radiation of Mutated marriages threatened to petrify us both.
But my wife knows me, and she knows trauma has made me insecure. Nothing to be done!
A quick visit to the Enlightenment ward did the trick. No kidding - I was outta there the next afternoon for good behaviour!
It put the fear of God into me.
I was now prepared to Deal with this Ringwraith, whatever it was!
***
Well, I worked half days for a month after that, reading this in the mornings.
I learned here, as I said, that a marriage has to morph as it matures - as ours did so precipitously and suddenly.
Because my fellows, as I now saw through my wondering Aspie eyes, always see the whole world - through more dimmed eyes than mine - as constant occasion to sin.
It shook me. I clung hard to the Cross.
But my wife, praise God, has always been much the stronger half of this couple!
She got me through mid age crisis safely. And I clung to her too all the more tightly.
So what shall I give her for our fiftieth year together, in 2027?
The moon, maybe?
Out of the question...
She would only outshine it with her own North Star of Wisdom.
February 19, 2019
Some of this book flew over my head; I don't know Jungian dream theory very well. But the book's discussion of the masculine and feminine were very interesting to read in a time when "masculine" is only associated with "toxic masculinity." I had to forget what I think about the masculine and feminine to see them from the author's point of view: a bit like dual energies, which, when working in perfect harmony, allow us to be whole. I really loved that. I also quite enjoyed the discussion of different operas and plays, and I adored the section on dream archetypes.
The author also had a message about our existence that I liked - that our existence is, in a sense, coming to terms with the limitation of our minds - that while we are unlimited in what we can think or dream, we will never fully be able to express all of those dreams and thoughts - but that we get to try to do so, and to take enjoyment in that process.
The author also had a message about our existence that I liked - that our existence is, in a sense, coming to terms with the limitation of our minds - that while we are unlimited in what we can think or dream, we will never fully be able to express all of those dreams and thoughts - but that we get to try to do so, and to take enjoyment in that process.
June 19, 2019
Really beautiful and insightful book for anyone interested in having a deep and meaningful relationship. You don't have to be a fan of Jung or even psychology as a whole to get something out of it. I think this book would be more popular if it were easier to read. The writing can be a bit dense at times but Schierse Leonard is also incredibly poetic in both her descriptions and comparisons. A thoroughly enjoyable read for anyone who loves to explore abstract concepts, this book will also make you fall hopelessly in love with Rilke, if you aren't already. Just lovely and, for a psychology book, oddly savourable.
April 20, 2014
I love the idea of this -- that the soul's journey is about marrying one's self and that there are loads of trickster archetypes and charlatan impulses that we must integrate and make whole before we can "live happily ever after." Alas, I find this book especially hard to read. I found myself skipping giant tracts of prose to just get through it. Brilliant idea though.
May 16, 2011
beautiful metaphors for individuation and falling in love with oneself and finding fulfillment in a powerfully creative life.
September 16, 2020
Fascinating exploration of archetypal figures from fairy tales, legends, and other dramas, and their manifestation in our lives and dreams. I especially enjoyed reading about The Flying Dutchman, as I was previously unfamiliar with that story. The author is a gifted writer and storyteller, and I adored all of her retellings of these classic tales, including the original Beauty & The Beast and Wagner's lengthy opera, Die Walküre. I also enjoyed learning about the symbolism behind the veil and rings, and what I read in this book is 100% what inspired me to choose a veil for my own imminent wedding.
Great for anyone with an interest in dream analysis, and although I am an ardent lover of Freud, I nevertheless was intrigued by Jungian concepts with which I wasn't all too familiar--beyond the scope of dream interpretation. My favorite part was the author's discussions on death toward the end of the book (e.g. acceptance of death as part of life in order to fully experience the divine, referencing Rilke--although this is an oversimplification to the point of bastardization); that chapter will leave an indelible mark on me.
Great for anyone with an interest in dream analysis, and although I am an ardent lover of Freud, I nevertheless was intrigued by Jungian concepts with which I wasn't all too familiar--beyond the scope of dream interpretation. My favorite part was the author's discussions on death toward the end of the book (e.g. acceptance of death as part of life in order to fully experience the divine, referencing Rilke--although this is an oversimplification to the point of bastardization); that chapter will leave an indelible mark on me.
November 7, 2024
I got this book wanting a more Jungian look specifically into Love and Marriage, and that is for the most part what it did. I quite liked the first few chapters, and the last sections. There is some enlightening and beautiful passages.
My favorite section, and the most insightful was at the end, the authors discussion of Rilke and how he relates to explaining poetically the goals and meanings of love is brilliant. Made me want to read some Rilke.
Worth checking out for some more modern Jungian interpretations about the importance of the wedding being a ‘sacred wedding.’
My favorite section, and the most insightful was at the end, the authors discussion of Rilke and how he relates to explaining poetically the goals and meanings of love is brilliant. Made me want to read some Rilke.
Worth checking out for some more modern Jungian interpretations about the importance of the wedding being a ‘sacred wedding.’
July 31, 2023
Rereading this after enrolling in Jungian Dream School. Makes more sense now.
She uses dreams, fairy tales, movies and personal experiences to illustrate her premises.
The relationship we seek might really be with ourselves.
She uses dreams, fairy tales, movies and personal experiences to illustrate her premises.
The relationship we seek might really be with ourselves.
January 3, 2020
Fascinating.
May 17, 2020
Analysis.
April 9, 2022
3.7 stars
June 30, 2025
will be revisiting chapter 10 very very often
August 5, 2015
Очень люблю эту последовательницу Юнга: она-таки умеет донести до нас, неучей, хотя бы частицу его осознаний. Книга посвящена не вопросу "как выйти замуж", а, скорее, как обрести свою целостность и творческий путь, найдя в себе, именно в себе, равновесие мужского и женского. О том, где проходят границы личности и как противостоять соблазнам и личностям, манящим нас влево и вправо от нашего пути.
Во многом книга экзистенциальна: вы не найдете в ней "позитивного мышления" и прочих фей с прозрачными крылышками: глубина бытия познается через сознательное соприкосновение с тенью, признанием всех сторон жизни существующими.
Повествование во многом связано с творчеством Рильке. Будет полезна как для мужчин, так и для женщин.
Во многом книга экзистенциальна: вы не найдете в ней "позитивного мышления" и прочих фей с прозрачными крылышками: глубина бытия познается через сознательное соприкосновение с тенью, признанием всех сторон жизни существующими.
Повествование во многом связано с творчеством Рильке. Будет полезна как для мужчин, так и для женщин.
spiritual
March 21, 2009rec by patricia
June 1, 2014
This book helped me better understand what it means to be in relationship. I highly recommend it to anyone, but especially those with an interest in Jungian psychology.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews