Modern Manners: Instructions for living fabulously well

by The Gentlewoman

A selection of stellar contributors to the fabulous women’s magazine The Gentlewoman present a timely selection of thought-provoking, witty essays on manners, offering the modern woman viewpoints and advice on classic conundrums and totally contemporary matters With contributions from a roster of The Gentlewoman ’s impeccably engaging contributors and readers, including Ann Friedman, Eva Wiseman, Otegha Uwagba, Caroline Roux, Susan Irvine, and Joan Juliet Buck, this thoughtful, stylish collection of essays is an essential guide to navigating today’s world. Individually arresting and unexpected, with advice on subjects ranging from the classic topics of manners and social behavior (tipping; arriving alone; godparenting; hosting) to totally contemporary matters (the best legal drugs; the benefits of a menstrual cup; the art of regifting; and crafting the perfect out of office reply), and tips and opinions galore from fun friends of the magazine from Miranda July and Hilary Mantel to Kylie Minogue and Honey Dijon, together these essays form a singular perspective on modern that of The Gentlewoman .    

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

196 pages, Paperback

Published October 13, 2021

Reviews

[Anastasiia Mozghova · Rating 3 out of 5]

some of the stories are delightful (about the first jobs, for example), while others sound too old-fashioned and pretentious (gifts being delivered by a driver in a Rolls-Royce! wtf?). the book itself is a treat though.

[Blythe Beecroft · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you @ynna for this delightful read. Having grown up on Candace Simpson-Giles' How to Be a Lady, I enjoyed this fun adult take on manners and social conundrums. The essays were pithy and I appreciated the attention to things I feel strongly about like umbrellas and postcards. My favorites included: Hosting, Telephone, and Alone, which started off quoting Marilynne Robinson (hello!!!).

[Navya · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

An absolutely fabulous read. But if I actually met someone who lives like this book assumes most people live, I will Spontaneously Combust.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Manners: the way in which we behave to put others at ease. How can we modernize old manners, and what manners should be commonplace with technological advances? But most importantly, how can we do this fabulously?

This collection of delightful articles taken from the UK magazine, The Gentlewoman, was a relatable, funny, and educational read. I found something to 'take home' within each of the sections: The modern world politely, Modern Conundrums, Generosity of spirit, How to be..., Good relations, Making life better, The unmentionables, One last thing... - and oftentimes I thought of friends who may appreciate a piece. Of course, as mini opinion pieces, not everything may be agreeable and some of it is already out of date as technology quickly becomes obsolete ready for the next best thing.

A charming read for women, and well, just anyone who would like to be fabulous and sophisticated, I wouldn't hold back recommending this to any such friends.

[amandajhaidar]

I have mixed feelings

[Angela Natividad · Rating 3 out of 5]

This slim volume compiles articles from previous Gentlewoman editions surrounding the topic of living well today, from hostessing to anonymity in the digital space. The curatorial tone reminded me of older books on etiquette, like Geneviève Antoine Dariaux's classic Elegance (which, despite some sections not having aged well, is tightly focused on conveying practical information about how to live its subject. It also has the benefit of being by one author, ensuring a consistent voice, one who has spent years elevating small acts of presentation into a personal art).

Some things I enjoyed and culled from—like discovering portable coat hangers that fit inside a purse, and Caroline Roux's little treatise on being a good guest. I also like that I now have a more permanent copy of Ann Friedman's "Menstrual cup" essay, which I enjoyed the first time around in a 2021 edition of the magazine.

But there were also sections I could have done without, like the "What was your first job?" bit, which just included snacky anecdotes from various people on their first jobs. It seemed unrelated to the larger theme of the book and felt like filler.

If you've appreciated The Gentlewoman's various essays exploring living in general, and want them all in one slim volume, this is your book. But if you keep your magazines already and aren't much interested in curated re-reads, it's a skip.

[H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 2015 I met Penny Martin who was invited to LCF and had given a refreshing talk in John Prince's Street campus. She was candid, layback, delightful, attentive to the audiences - basically in her enchanting "modern manners" beaming with hospitality. Still remember how she portrayed The Gentlewoman as "a wedding that you see all the people in different age groups dancing together." , being a reader from that clunky, luxuriously generous volume of authentic conversation, to this pocket-ish, witty, coquettishly clashing colour printed book, I still love The Gentlewoman because it has lost not an iota of that inclusive, conscious demeanour which represents what a ne plus ultra Feminism expected today.

[Caroline Frecker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. Some of the articles not only pinpoint great ideas, but are quirky and intricate in a way I am attracted to. I do enjoy tweaking my habits and surroundings, and this was a fun series written by (mostly) women who think similarly to me, for a modern day take on a style of book that was popular decades before. Instructive without being condescending. Suggestive without being dictatory. Written in a fun and quirky way.

[Noops94 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some incredible gems in here, especially the pieces written by Susan Irwine and Ann Friedman. I found it fascinating that it explains etiquette from the perspective of different classes. I will keep coming back to this book again and again- both when I need to learn how to deal with situations involving others and situations involving just myself!

[Ti · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded up to 4

an enjoyable read even thought it wasn't so practical for me, a 23-year-old who lives in a third world country. was interesting to see how different cultures interpret "manners." doesn't have to be read chronologically but i did it anyway, and i imagine this'll be a helpful resource to go back to throughout my life :) a useful guide overall

[Bianca Borandă · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely little book of essays about contemporary etiquette in today’s world. Expect to find lots of tongue-in-cheek commentary, genius ideas, as well as genuinely useful tips (How much to tip?! How to exit elegantly from an event?!)

[Joanna Borba · Rating 4 out of 5]

A more UK focused book but with many good thoughts and insights into how current society functions. Plan to re-read the book later to take a few notes/ideas to try. I enjoyed reading the short stories of several writers and how their perception has changed over the years.

[Jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read! Eclectic and fun. Well written, thoughtful, and humorous

[Robert Frecer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uplifting and smart

[Raquel Bueno · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very bourgeois but so much fun.

[Allie Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable Sunday read!

[Gabrielle Gonzales · Rating 4 out of 5]

Managed to be both very millennial and very, very bourgeois

[Vassiliki-Maria Plavou · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fleeting and fresh.

[Maéva Laurent · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deserved 4 stars. Gives a lot of example and is perfect to read just here and there. You don't have to be really attentive, but still a book to add to your list.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

A charming and sparkling collection of essays on manners. Most contributors are north of upper middle class so the universality of their observations is debatable. Very fun read.

[Anna]

Not to be taken serious most of the times (or: not everyone’s lifestyle) but some observations, e.g. on being alone, are quite lovely. An easy read.

[Georgie Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bible of fabulosity

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book with a rather grand subtitle that kind of overblows what is to come.