Toxic Faith

by Stephen F. Arterburn, Jack Felton

Experiencing Healing from Painful Spiritual Abuse

When religion becomes a means to avoid or control life, it becomes toxic. Those who possess a toxic faith have stepped across the line from a balanced perspective of God to an unbalanced faith in a weak, powerless or uncaring God. They seek a God to fix every mess, prevent every hurt, and mend every conflict.

Toxic Faith distinguishes between a healthy faith and a misguided religiosity that traps believers in an addictive practice of religion. It shows how unbalanced ministries, misguided churches, and unscrupulous leaders can lead their followers away from God and into a desolate experience of religion that drives many to despair. Toxic Faith shows readers how to find hope for a return to genuine, healthy faith that can add meaning to life. In the words of the author, “I want to help you throw out that toxic faith and bring you back to the real thing.”

Genres: Religion, Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Christian, Faith, Spirituality

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1991

About the author

Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.

Reviews

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow. What an amazing book. A bit odd reading it from an atheist perspective but enlightening nonetheless when viewing my faith experience retroactively.

Arterburn is a psychologist who operates a practice focused on helping individuals solve longterm personal issues. He is a believing Christian and writes this book from the perspective that toxic faith (or immature faith) is detrimental while mature faith is healthy and uplifting. Even as an atheist I see great value in his perspective and, in retrospect, reading his book many years ago could have done me a world of good.

Arterburn discusses cults but, aside from one case dealing with Hare Krishna, does not name them. The typical case presented is of overly fundamentalist evangelical believers or ministers/pastors who simply go overboard in childlike, immature faith.

What struck me most about this book was that while Mormonism has some very respectable and admirable traits, there were very few pages where the unhealthy concept being discussed was not an integral or influential part of either Mormon belief or cultural practice. On the plus side, some of the traits of toxic/immature faith are not present in Mormonism in the least.

Here are four key summarizing tables the author presents that identify elements of Toxic Faith.

P. 98 Twenty-One Toxic Beliefs of a Toxic Faith
1. God's love an favor depend on my behavior
2. When tragedy strikes, true believers should have a real peace about it
3. If you have real faith, God will heal you or someone you are praying for
4. All ministers are men and women of God and can be trusted.
5. Material blessings are a sign of spiritual strength
6. The more money you give to God, the more money He will give to you
7. I can work my way to heaven
8. Problems in your life result from some particular sin
9. I must not stop meeting other people's needs
10. I must always submit to authority
11. God uses only spiritual giants
12. Having true faith means waiting for God to help me and doing nothing until He does
13. If it's not in the scriptures, it isn't relevant
14. God will find me a perfect mate
15. Everything that happens to me is good
16. A strong faith will protect me from problems and pain
17. God hates sinners, is angry with me, and wants to punish me
18. Christ was merely a great teacher
19. God is too big to care about me
20. More than anything else, God wants me to be happy
21. You can become God

P.189 Characteristics of a Toxic Faith
1. "Special" claims about character, abilities, or knowledge
2. Dictatorial and authoritarian leader
3. An "us" versus "them" mentality
4. Punitive in nature
5. Overwhelming service
6. Followers in pain
7. Closed communication
8. Legalism
9. No objective accountability
10. Labeling

P. 263 Ten Rules of Toxic Faith System
1. The leader must be in control of every aspect at all times
2. When problems arise, find a guilty party to blame immediately
3. Don't make mistakes
4. Never point out the reality of a situation
5. Never express your feelings unless they are positive
6. Don't ask questions, especially if they are tough ones
7. Don't do anything outside your role
8. Don't trust anyone
9. Nothing is more important than giving money to the organization
10. At all costs, keep up the image of the organization or the family

P.310 The Nature of Mature Faith
1. Trust in God's saving grace and believes firmly in the humanity and divinity of Jesus Christ
2. Experience a sense of personal well being, security, and peace
3. Integrates faith and life, seeing work, family, social relationships, and political choices as part of one's religious life
4. Seeks spiritual growth through study, reflection, prayer, and discussion with others
5. Seeks to be part of a community of believers in which people give witness to their faith and support and nourish one another
6. Holds life-affirming values, including commitment ot racial and gender equality, affirmation of cultural and religious diversity, and a personal sense of responsibility for the welfare of others
7. Advocactes social and global change to bring about greater social justice
8. Serves humanity, consistently and passionately, through acts of love and justice

[Thomas]

Excellent book for anyone trying to heal from a legalistic background!

[J Campbell]

Very good book! Helped me see some unhealthiness in churches we've attended. Thankfully we've found a healthy church to attend now. Besides, no church is perfect, as it's full of imperfect people!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book. I enjoyed it in the main, although some parts weren't really about things I could relate to, but I am sure others could.

I read it because I need to heal from things that have been taught at a church we attended which border on cult-like, i.e. controlling leadership that made itself a very unhealthy mediator between church and Christ.

The book is good and making someone who has suffered in church rethink what happened. Often one can fall into self-blame for what happened - this book helps unpick unhealthy teaching and measure it against a God of love and justice.

It also challenges religious addiction, which is interesting.

[Kenneth Garrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Toxic Faith is the most comprehensive work I have read regarding the dynamics of a spiritually abusive church--including its leader(s), co-conspirators, enablers, and members. Especially fascinating discussion of the roles in an abusive church or family, this book goes beyond the basic explanation of what an abusive religious system is, and how it operates, and goes into the particular tendencies that are found in both the leaders of toxic faith systems and their victims, and the role that religious addiction plays in the whole ball of wax. Highly recommended to anyone interested in this area of study.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book changed my life.

[Beth Peninger · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good dialogue from professionals about one type of addiction: religious addiction. The authors are believers in God so they have a basis from which to speak about this addiction that is probably much more prevalent and widespread than most people would think.
The main author, Stephen Arterburn, is well known in Christian circles for his radio shows, New Life Treatment Centers and various other books he has authored (Every Man's Battle, Healing is a Choice to name a couple). As happens in Christianity the need and use of trained psychologists is a controversial topic and so Arterburn finds himself often in the midst of controversy due to his training and his treatment centers, etc. However, the man has solid information that has been helpful and healing to many, many people. In this title Arterburn and his co-author, Felton, take what is true about any kind of addiction behavior and symptoms and correlate it to religion. It makes SO much sense and reading the book the reader can see how religion even becomes an addiction. In fact most readers will probably be able to see someone they know and/or love described in the book or perhaps themselves described!
The title caught my eye as well as the fact that it has been sitting on my parents bookshelf for years, probably since it was released in 1991. So I'm reviewing the 1991 edition, it has since been updated and edited - the length of it has been cut by about 75 pages. As I was reading the original edition I found myself wishing I had the updated in my hands. The original edition is good, lots and lots of info, but it is too long. I'm tempted to flip through an updated copy and see what they nixed - my guess is the point still gets made.
Regardless of the length, one chapter was literally 50 pages long (1991 edition), the book presents solid information about what this particular addiction looks like, behaves like, sounds like and how we can avoid it and how people can overcome it. I recommend the book but I recommend the updated edition (yellow cover).

[Trent Stephens · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as someone who was surrounded by toxic faith my entire young life. I've watched those around me ruined by religious addiction and then watched that addiction turn into other addictions as we grew out of the church. I though as I started that this book might help me further understand and come to terms with this pain. However I just kept asking questions out loud of how can intelligent people watch what religion does to people and still logically believe that anything good can come out of such close minded hate driven by power and money? We need good secular ethics and then realize we are all here together to learn something together. Not keep dividing ourselves based on what outdated mythology we prescribe to. EVOLVE!

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very unhelpful from a trauma-healing perspective especially if you suffered religious abuse as a Christian and are no longer in or interested in religion. The subtitle should be changed from "experiencing healing from painful spiritual abuse" to "recognizing addiction to church (whatever that means?)" or "identifying unhealthy churches and christians" because that is what it accomplishes although poorly. Not to mention, trying to think your way out of trauma and abuse is absolutely not how this works and no better perspective on God will fix real abuse and trauma like good psychiatric help will. I wouldn't recommend this book to Christians, ex-Christians, or otherwise.

[Jacob Hudgins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the book suffered from a lack of definition of toxic faith. I could not tell if the authors were addressing all the ways faith can be warped, the cultish, power-hungry leaders and organizations that exploit others, or the psychological needs that drive us toward misshapen faith. All of them were addressed, but I still don’t really know what the book was about.

I do think it is very healthy and important for churches and parents to be aware of the spiritual damage they can do to others, even when motives are good. Religious addiction is a new concept to me, but it resonates. And it is an important consideration that seeking fulfillment in religion may mean not actually dealing with our problems.

[Mombeam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book. Must-read for people of all faiths, especially those who work in ministry/pastoral/chaplain/ spiritual counseling or teaching roles. Some discussion of Christian beliefs but overall the book is applicable to all religions. Includes extensive discussions of how people from dysfunctional/abusive family backgrounds can develop toxic faith patterns. Only complaint is that I wish that the section on recovery was longer and more detailed.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book at the beginning and end but the middle turns into a book on religious addiction that just doesn’t seem to fit, overall, with the first 2 or 3 chapters. It was still interesting in the middle but was off from the overall tone set at the beginning. The last 2 or 3 chapters seems to get back on track again.

[Steven H · Rating 5 out of 5]

AN ANALYSIS OF RELIGIOUS BELIEFS THAT ARE HARMFUL

Authors Stephen Arterburn and Jack Felton wrote in the Introduction to this 1991 book, “Media ministers are not the only ones who poison faith. Faith is tainted from many other sources… A business failure, a broken relationship, and the death of a wonderful friend are all common events that change the way some view God. The roots of bitterness and unresolved anger are allowed to poison their faith. Some turn away from God and never come back… others manifest their toxic faith in more obvious ways… they want to earn God’s love… [They] feel extreme guilt if they don’t sacrifice family, friends, and themselves in service of the church. Their faith is toxic, poisoned by an unfortunate trauma or a desire to work their way to heaven… There are still others whose toxic faith provides a means to avoid the realities of life. They expect God to work miracles at their beck and call… Those who possess a toxic faith have stepped across the line from a balanced perspective of God to an unbalanced faith in a weak, powerless or uncaring God… Most likely, you have dealt with at least one of these issues in your search for truth about life and the God who created it… I want to help you throw out that toxic faith and bring you back to the real thing.”

They explain, “Religious addicts are extremely intolerant of varying opinions or expressions of faith. Either walk their way or be out of step. Their rigidity rejects other believers rather than accepts them. They routinely judge others and find the negative in everyone else’s life. From a position of superiority, they put down others for what they believe and how they manifest their faith. They want to control the lives of others, especially their beliefs.” (Pg. 42)

Of ‘Biblical Exclusivity,’ they observe, “The battle between religion and psychology has been waged on this toxic belief for years. Many have nothing to do with anything relating to emotions unless it is in Scripture. Their train of thought goes like this: ‘If there is not a Scripture to back the idea, it must be harmful.’ This is close to the truth but not quite on the mark. True faith means that a person should not do anything that goes against something from God’s Word. It doesn’t mean that EVERY behavior or insight into life is going to be found there.” (Pg. 76-77)

They note, “If God was sending plagues to wipe people out, He would have wiped out millions of unfaithful spouses. Adultery is rampant, as are greed, lying cheating and thousands of other sins. The AIDS epidemic … is an opportunity for many believers to reach out to a group of people who have been alienated from God.” (Pg. 86)

They observe, “If something can be labeled as an addiction, our culture feels more hope for overcoming it because we know how to fight addiction. There are steps to fight addiction. God is part of addiction recovery… Groups of addicts band together to help one another with similar addictions. In our society, it seems that addiction problems are the ones to have because help and support are available, there is hope for change, and many other people have had a similar problem. Addiction has become a label that invites others to the point of recovery.” (Pg. 102-103)

They state, “Peace is found in activity… religious addicts find relief in work. However, what is labeled as peace is actually avoidance. The hard work is the enabler for avoidance. Essentially, they work so hard in an attempt to outrun the pain. Real people are lost and replaced with those who will assist in carrying out the charade. Business becomes the goal, and religious compulsivity provides for toxic believers a false presence of God.” (Pg. 119)

They point out, “When toxic faith comes under scrutiny, the religious addict reacts predictably: ‘I am accountable only to God.’ No one is accountable only to God. We are all accountable to the government. A married person is accountable to a spouse. Anyone asserting singular accountability to God either is not thinking clearly or has a terrible sin to hide…” (Pg. 184)

They say, “It is very difficult for religious compulsion to stand alone. Usually, a secondary compulsion reinforces the primary one and vice versa. One compulsion stands out for the world to observe. It is an ‘admirable’ compulsion, such as work or a hobby or religion. The other compulsion is usually a hidden one that few people (if any) would consider admirable.” (Pg. 210)

They summarize, “Toxic faith is all about addiction and victimization. Each person in his or her role becomes addicted to the type of power or security offered by that role. The longer the person is in the role, the more difficult it becomes to stop the addictive behavior unique to that role. The tragedy of the toxic faith system is that everyone is a victim.” (Pg. 239)

They conclude, “Toxic faith is based on ‘either/or,’ ‘black or white,’ ‘us versus them,’ and ‘all or nothing’ mentalities. It is so extreme that there is no room for compromise, no middle ground for others outside the system. Healthy faith accepts the fact that life is not black or white and allows the believer to feel okay about the struggle with the gray areas of life.” (Pg. 307)

While this book was written during the televangelist scandals of the ‘80s, it is still a perceptive analysis of the topic.

[Barbie J · Rating 4 out of 5]

What's great about this book is that it was written by a Christian insider, as opposed to an outsider who thinks he has a clue. The author is respectful yet honest about what happens in churches and ministries of any religious faith. It is incredibly insightful and interesting.

[Ruth]

The subtitle of this book is misleading. Although there IS a small section at the end dealing with recovery, the bulk of the book deals with how to identify toxic faith structures and what sort of person is prone to buy into them. As such, it was unhelpful for my purposes.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful for anyone who has been damaged by a church experience in the past.

[John]

Does a great job showing the dark side of faith and helping to direct you to a living faith.

[Randy Williams]

I thought it was an excellent book. It starts off very slow and it's evangelism into the Christian life is empowering. The end is totally delivering and its contents help you grow in relationships.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the information in the book is important because it can help a person determine if they have a religious addiction and what they should do to get help. It describes addictive behaviors and toxic faith patterns. It might help you identify if your church is toxic, though that isn’t the main focus of the book. It’s more about how a person sees their relationship with God through a toxic lens, which really interferes with their relationship with God. It gives examples of what healthy faith looks like.

Some examples from the book:
Paying tithes and offerings because you think you’ll get something in return is toxic; giving to God out of love and generosity is healthy.
Treating your church leader almost as if he were God is toxic; respecting leaders and having a balance of power in the church is healthy.
Attending church or to church duties so much that your family notices your absence from the family is toxic; putting your family first is healthy.
Trying to earn God’s favor through rituals or trying to do enough good is toxic; recognizing that God already loves you is healthy.

It talks specifically about religious addiction and what that is like. People usually don’t know when they are addicted to religion, so it’s worth a read if religion is taking up a lot of your life or you feel your relationship with God is strained even though you are trying to please Him. Especially if you are not experiencing peace in your life or trying to escape life through religion. (It’s good to spend a lot of time with God, but God and religion are not the same thing.)

The book also mentions toxic family systems, usually in how when one or both parents are involved in toxic faith and how that affects the family.

It talks about the roles people play in toxic faith systems and families. In a toxic faith system there is a persecutor (toxic faith leader, can also be a parent in a family), the co-conspirator (conspires with the leaders, can be a co-parent), enabler (anyone who enables the leader), the victim (most members of a toxic church, children in a toxic family), and the outcast (the person who decides to stand up for what is right).

This book is not a step by step manual on how to overcome religious addiction—they recommend getting into a support group. You might also need therapy to deal with the underlying causes of your addiction. All members of a toxic faith family often need therapy in order for the family to heal.

The book goes over what healthy faith looks like, but it is a small section of the book. I wish this part were more detailed.

I’m only giving the book three stars because the writing is somewhat dry, wordy and disjointed. The authors know the topic but aren’t the strongest in being engaging writers. I struggled to stay focused unless there was a part I related to somewhat. I think using more real life examples and fewer explanations would have been more helpful. If you have a religious addiction, you’ll probably find it more engaging than I did.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I began reading and thought, “I wonder if I still have time to return it.” Kept reading and wondered if it would make a good Christmas present. I ended by reading whole passages aloud to my husband. It will stay on my reference material shelf.

The beginning focused heavily on news headlines, a grandmother’s real faith, and variations on the theme that self-obsessed addicts of religion share beliefs and habits with other addicts of any nature. One way of running from reality and avoiding pain (internal or external) is very like another.

I appreciated the personal and engaging style of the content, but wasn’t sure that more would be offered than a typical ‘blame the parents/society’ emphasis offered by many therapeutic approaches to toxicity, bullying, or narcissism.

[Louise Lawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This opened my eyes to how toxic some churches can be. Opening up my eyes to the idea of a ‘persecutor’ ‘co-conspirator’ ‘enabler’ ‘victim’ and ‘outcast’ and my experience was enlightened by identifying all of these. They don’t just identify these things they also offer advice on where to get support. I’ve been thankful to go to a different and far healthier church and put much of this behind me but it is validating and helpful to read and gain a deeper understanding.

[Peridot Gilbert-Reed · Rating 3 out of 5]

If spiritual abuse has been a part of your life, this is a good look into that realm of pain. While I thought it would cover a broader spectrum of spiritual abuse, it mainly focused on overt forms of abuse, such as cults. It didn’t really speak to covert, subtle ways spiritual abuse takes place. Overall, it was hood though.

[Milan Gligorić · Rating 5 out of 5]

Odlična knjiga o tabu temi - zlostavljanju u religioznom okruženju, sa analizom različith vrsta zlostavljanja, psiholoških i duhovnih posljedica po žrtve, kao i analizom sistema i raznih učesnika u njemu (zlostavljači, pomagači, posmatrači i žrtve). Knjiga takođe govori o putu iscjeljenja i uspostavljanju zdravih odnosa prema drugima, kao i odnosa prema religiji.

[Jose]

This is not for the faint of heart. This is truly a spiritual journey. It may even be offensive to readers. If you truly want to know how to recognize dangerous, spiritual barriers, take the time to read this excellent work.

[Michelle Estella Usher-Grano · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have been hurt by the Christian Church this book is for you. To help you understand what went wrong and also how to heal and have a heathy relationship with the true God Of love and inclusion.

[Priyadarshini Karunakaran · Rating 3 out of 5]

A modern approach to religion. Toxic religion is explained very well. Quite diplomatic, doesn't touch socially controversial topics. But close minded.

[Lauren Hunter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very helpful info for avoiding toxicity in Christian churches. Some of the info applies to cults and some applies to bad behavior within Christian churches.

[Kristen 💗✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just….no

[Soo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for those coming out of a toxic faith. Helped me identify some that I had last time. However, I only find the start of the book interesting. When it reaches the back it starts to get repetitive.

[Ben Arant · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very solid informative read. All of the points raised contain good reasoning and sound Christian theology. It is, however, a very heavy read with lots of information to digest. I would recommend reading it, then reference back as you think and process.