I Did Not Kill My Husband : But I Almost Killed Myself

by A.M. Parker, Eric Parker (Illustrator)

Annie's quirky and spicy memoir, I Did Not Kill My But I Almost Killed Myself, will have you howling with laughter one minute, and wiping away tears the next. She found herself standing next to the tracks of an oncoming train, seriously contemplating stepping in front of it and ending her own life. The culprit? She was the spouse of a husband who was battling the disease of alcoholism. Shortly after she decided to spare her own life, Annie's husband died from complications of the disease. Alcoholism is a silent killer. Everyone thinks, 'That won't happen to us,' but it does. People die from this disease every day and yet... while it's infiltrating homes and ripping families apart, most people keep it a secret. Annie’s story dives right in, in complete vulnerability, to all of the uncomfortable truths about being the spouse of an alcoholic… And the aftermath once things turn deadly. She screams out loud about this controversial topic, keeping you on the edge of your seat as things unfold. This is just the right book for anyone who finds themselves fighting this same battle. It’s a tumultuous tale with hope for recovery and a happy ending.

294 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 16, 2021

Reviews

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not what I expected but WORTH THE READ

I came across the author’s Instagram and of course the book title caught my eye. I was expecting a much more polished memoir and instead I got a friend sitting across my battered kitchen table drinking coffee with me as she talked about her journey and laid out the truths she had learned along the way.

Written in a casual conversational tone, Annie shared her soul and helped in the healing of mine. I was not married to an addict but I was codependent all the same. I highlighted several passages which resonated with me.

Warning though: if paragraphs containing phrases like “Boom. Strong arm emoji.” Or “Annnnnnnd there it was” will drive you crazy, this is not the book for you.

[Sharon Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brutally honest memoir of life with an alcoholic and a beautiful life on the other side.

Annie’s story could be my own. Her brutal honesty can be painful to read, but only in that honesty could the truth be told. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is living with, or in the past, someone with addiction to alcohol.

[Zaiah Quirk · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are worthy of a better life. A brutally honest memoir about the lives lived by an alcoholic’s loved ones. Not only did I relate heavily to the exact events in her story, but I also was forced to reconsider these events and learn something new from them. Sometime we have to detach, with love, in order to survive.

[Susan Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the interest of honesty, I must say that I know Annie personally. Our kids are the same age and have shared classes throughout their young lives. Annie was even my daughter's teacher until the pandemic hit. So yes, I remember what she was like during that last year of her marriage. From the outside I did not know that her world was falling apart. It wasn't until after Chris was out of their house that she told me even a bit of what was going on in their family.

That is part of what makes this memoir so astonishing to me. Annie could have kept on with her happy facade, not letting anyone in our tiny town know the truth. Instead she chose to pour out her raw and messy truth in this book. She knew that she and her boys needed the truth out there to help them heal. And Annie also knew that someone out there would need her story; they'd see themselves, and maybe it would help save a life.

I cried and I laughed reading Annie's memoir. It was full of sarcasm, a lot of facts and truckloads of hard truths. She doesn't hold anything back, despite what people have said about her, and despite her own feelings of guilt. She shows all of her readers that the only way through that fire is to be honest.

Whether or not you are living with alcoholism in your life, I think you need to read this book. Annie reminds all of us that we matter, and making a decision to save ourselves is OK.

I love you, dear friend, and I am proud of you and your book. I'm proud to know you.

[Michelle Thatcher · Rating 5 out of 5]

My heart. 💔 I am so appreciative of Annie sharing hers and Chris’s story. As much as I wish they didn’t have to go through what they did, I am glad she is sharing it to help others who are in the thick of it. As someone who lost their spouse in September, because of addiction, this book was everything to me. It made me feel less alone, more empowered about the choices I made for our children and myself, and overall it gave me hope for my future and more compassion for my husband and our family’s struggle through addiction.

[Michael Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Annie has written a very personal account dealing with alcoholism and life. she has given a first person account what it is like to live through alcoholism and they affects on the family. She describes alcoholism is a disease that now I fix the alcoholic with everyone around him or her. I recommend this book if you want to read about the first person account about the only with alcoholism and the emotions that come with it.

[Josie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir about how a wife supported her husband during his battle with alcoholism. It shows the true ugly side of the disease. It brought an understanding of how a friend may be experiencing the same situation and how to support the friend.

Another review used the description of "unpolished" which is spot on. It was a more casual read with grammar as if you were messaging a friend. I was able to read past that to get the message of the book.

[Dawn Brommer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Annie’s book was raw, vulnerable, honest and heart breaking. 💔. I could relate to the hospitalizations, craziness, lying, abandonment, trauma and pain. I lived through an alcoholic dad and then married an alcoholic husband. He was the life of the party, until he wasn’t and his DUI’s, lost jobs, jaundice with drinking with friends was always the priority. I was the safe parent by like you, holding the family together by a string.

[Marlena Cummings · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eye Opener

I needed this book years ago! I’m the ex wife of an alcoholic who did horrible things. We also had two children, girls, and I questioned not only my sanity every single day but if I was doing the right thing by wanting to keep our family together. Even after 17 years of being divorced, this book moved me!

[Lindsey Pfeiffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Annie! This book saved me during my husband’s relapse, pushed me to go to my first al-anon, and most importantly reminded me that I FUCKING MATTER and that I’m not the only only facing outcome judgment. Grateful for this book.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just what I needed to hear

Reading this book feels like having a conversation with a good friend. A friend who understands and is honest, even with the hard stuff --
especially with the hard stuff.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very healing for me. I want to thank the author for her openness and transparency into her husband's illness. This book will help others in similar situations feel less alone. This was an inspiring book yet heartbreaking if relatable. I couldn't put it down.

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh god. Her heart was in the right place and I think as an addiction memoir this would have been a lot stronger, but the self-help, blog-style, girl-boss writing, which is 85% of the book was incredibly off putting and absolutely not it.

[Larissa]

I think the author is so brave to share her story with the word. It’s definitely a topic that is hard to understand unless you live it. It’s like a club that not everyone can join and if you’re in the club, you’d do anything to get out.

[Katie Shaver · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish which makes me so sad. Was really looking forward to the book after finding her Instagram. It was more of a “poor me” story than a book to help motivate and inspire me in my own journey being married to an alcoholic.

[Paula Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Execellent!

[Chrissy Hahn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened on audiobook. A hard topic to talk about, but could personally relate to a lot of Annie’s story.