Baptized in Tear Gas: From White Moderate to Abolitionist

by Elle Dowd, Traci Blackmon (Foreword)

For years Elle Dowd considered herself an advocate for justice, but her well-meaning support always took a back burner to what Martin Luther King Jr. called the tension-free, ordered "negative peace" of white moderates. Then Michael Brown, a Black man, was murdered by a white police officer in Ferguson, Missouri, and the subsequent Uprising changed everything.

In Baptized in Tear Gas, minister and activist Elle Dowd tells the gripping story of her transformation into an Assata Shakur-reading, courthouse-occupying abolitionist with an arrest record, hungry for the revolution. Thanks to deep relationships with people in Ferguson and St. Louis, and to experiencing a fraction of the system for herself--including the fear of rubber bullets, the shock of sound cannons, and running from tear gas--Dowd fully committed to the work of anti-racism and abolition. Now she wants to help other white allies do the same.

Like in baptism, this transformation requires parts of us to our lack of power analysis, our commitment to white niceness, our tone policing, our respectability politics--all of those impulses we have been socialized by since birth must die so that something new can be resurrected in our lives and in the world. The uprising in Ferguson changed Dowd, and through it, God made her into something new.

Now it's our turn.

Genres: Memoir, Politics, Anti Racist, Nonfiction, Social Justice, Theology, Religion

187 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 10, 2021

Reviews

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle Dowd is a fantastic writer, organizer, and church leader. I highly recommend this book to church leaders and people interested in social justice and abolition. Her book Baptized in Tear Gas provides great theological reflections tying Jesus’s ministry to community organizing. Along with her reflections, she has included questions at the end of each chapter for individuals or groups to reflect and take the next steps toward becoming an abolitionist. She provides her sources for her material and give credit to the Black leaders who have formed her. She has committed to donating 100% of the proceeds of this book to Black social justice organizations and activists.

[Andrea]

As an African American Woman and a clergy person I was skeptical, then I began to read. Elle tells so much truth in this book. She tells the truth of her experience in Ferguson, the truth about white supremacy and racism in this country.She bares her heart and lets us walk with her in her transformation. She uses theology and what she has discovered about God to tell this story. It is clear that Elle wants others to do the work of transformation. I cried; I shouted; I applaud the work that Elle has done, the hard, hard work she has done to bring her to this place. I applaud her courage to write this book. I appreciate the questions and the action items at the end of each chapter. Most of all I implore you to read this book!

[Dale Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book. Dowd writes about her experiences and perspectives of the Ferguson Uprising, which happened after Michael Brown was killed by a police officer. She discusses her transformation from being a nice white lady into a police and prison abolitionist.
I like how Dowd challenges the white church to do better. She notes that the church could shine a bright light on oppression and push back against it. She also wants the church to stop ignoring the politics during the time of Jesus and show how those politics are still relevant today. Yes, Jesus had political views!
Another thing I particularly like is that at the end of each chapter, Dowd includes ready-made Reflection Questions and Action Items. These are perfect for book clubs or other groups interested in diving deeper.
Not into church or Jesus? That's ok! If you love others or are into social justice, there's plenty in this book for you, too!
An important note, Dowd will be sending all proceeds to Black activists and organizations, Black political prisoners, and Black families who have loss due to police violence. She also recommends several books written by Black authors because she has learned from these Black people, as well as others, many of whom were so gracious to teach her as she experienced the Ferguson Uprising with them.

[Victoria Mahon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my perspective on a few things, which really makes it the best kind of book.

[Brianna Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle Dowd has written an outstanding call to action for those that think they can remain neutral on policies that impact outcomes of marginalized communities. There is no middle ground. She was raw and vulnerable about her journey. I am so pleased to hear all proceeds are donated to care for BIPOC activists and organizers. Highly recommend this read.

[Jeff Greathouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am giving this book a 5-Star.

I have to be honest in that there are not many books that 'surpass' my expectations. However, this is one of the few that surpassed my expectations and it is NOT because I set the bar low.

I appreciated her sharing her stories and how the transition from a Moderate to Abolitionist occurred. There were two things that really stood out to me though.

1) Definition/Language. She walks you through the vocabulary very well. I think many times, miscommunication and not being on the same page is one of the big hinderance and in her writing, she breaks this down.

2) Chapter 2, Releasing Control. This may have been my favorite chapter. This chapter, in my opinion, is the clearest explanation for the title of the book. But, what I really appreciated; as a Lutheran Pastor, was her writing on control and baptism and the reason behind our liturgy. It was an excellent piece of writing.

The book is one of paradox in a sense. It is an easy read, I did in on a Saturday morning. Yet, it is very challenging and thought provoking in the same manner. I look forward to getting this into the hands of members of the congregation and begin discussion. Speaking of discussion, at the end of each chapter, there is a list of questions; so you have a starting point.

Discussion is not enough, actions must take place and Elle helps out in this area as well with giving us action steps on what we can do to start making a difference.

I highly recommend you this book.

[Pastor Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle’s awakens to the contradictions and outright lies she has been socialized into believing about race in this country. Rather than close her eyes to them, through the lens of faith she critiques herself and the church, specifically the ELCA, a mainline denomination known to the Whitest in this country. She is not superficially “woke.” Her writing is authentic and thoughtful. I appreciate her critique but what sets this book apart are the discussion questions and action steps for change.
Baptized in Teargas reads well for personal reflection as well as small group study. I’ve purchased multiple copies to share wi

[Nathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a white person of faith wrestling with the state sanctioned violence you witness in the streets of America, this book is a must read. Dowd's stories and theological insights will steel our resolve for the next time we demand justice and are met with tear gas, white supremacist hatred, and our own insecurites.

[Lohersh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book a compelling read, thoughtful and well-written. It was much in the same vein as another excellent book I read recently, 'Against Civility' by Alex Zamalin, but tells her personal journey and is from a Christian perspective. It certainly gives one plenty to think about as far as what civility is, how it is used, and who gets to define it, both historically and currently. From her religious perspective as a pastor, her straightforwardness and astute observations, coupled with her personal experience as a survivor of sexual assault, open bisexuality, and as the white parent of Black children, all makes for a very unique narrative. I also appreciated her humility and openness as she told her story.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so grateful for this book as clergy, as a white Christian, and someone seeking to grow in being an anti-racist accomplice. Dowd takes us straight to the heart of the hard and provoking questions. What is safety? Who gets to decide? What does that mean for those of us who follow the Gospel? This is a work that continually challenged me, and one I will keep returning to in my pastoral work. It’s a must have for white clergy folk looking to grow these muscles, and anyone interested in deep learning in this vein.

[Mark Hilditch]

Were you at the protests in Ferguson, Missouri? I was not. But, I felt like I was catching up with what I was like to be there in reading Elle Dowd's moving account of her actions in Ferguson. This is a great book for those who want to know what the experience was like and to know how to be more involved in the future of Black Lives Matter activities. An excellent first-person account. Give it a read!

[Heidi Neumark · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a time when the loudest voices of Christian faith are often linked with hooded (or fully on display) white supremacy, Elle Dowd’s Baptized in Tear Gas could not arrive at a more crucial moment.
It is beautifully and honestly written, theologically deep and both tender and fierce. It is a must-read for anti-racist work, especially among aspiring allies.

[Erie Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book 400 stars, I would in a heartbeat. Thank you, Elle.

[Jerry Wirtley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Elle Dowd takes us on a ride that is filled with tears and laughter. I found myself in agony listening to her tell about being chased and beaten by police and then laughing in the next paragraph about being fed and dancing in the streets. Elle bore her soul in this book that takes you into the streets of Ferguson and gives you a view we do not get to see. She opened my eyes and showed me truths that are hidden from the public. You need to read this book. It will change you.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I should have read this sooner. Very powerful words. Dowd helps me confront my own prejudices.

[Joelle Colville-Hanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book for white people who are ready to if not take the next step toward dismantling white supremacy, at least willing to consider it. It’s a book for white “liberals”. It’s a good book for your church reading group after “The Help”.

Elle herself says in the book this is only the beginning. You can only begin to be anti-racist when you learn from Black people. But it does help to hear the stories of how white people made the journey.

Dowd successfully navigates the tension between acknowledging the cost and sacrifice of anti-racism activism for white people and the reality of white privilege, the tension between the absolute necessity of self care and the reality of how white privilege that makes self care much easier for white activists.

I think I was in Ferguson the same time Elle was, but I came late and missed the worst of it. One of the reasons I went was that I knew, because of white privilege, other white people would believe my witness. Elle is a witness to police brutality, lies and cover up that people are more likely to believe because she is a white lady from Iowa. That’s why this is a good book for your white church book studies.

Each chapter concludes with reflection questions and suggestions for concrete actions. She recognizes the tendency for white liberal church folk to embrace the book study but avoid the action. Both are necessary.

After you read the book go back to where she recommends the teachings of people of color and look them up.

[Danielle Renee]

I had the opportunity to briefly meet Elle over Zoom during a panel discussion early in 2021. Several times throughout, she hinted at her upcoming book, and those of us present knew immediately that we needed to use it for a church book study as soon as it was available. Her energy and passion are contagious and inspiring, and her authenticity and openness is incredibly refreshing. Thank you, Elle, for sharing your story with us, both then and now.

[Mark Olsson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book. Elle is a great writer. I learned a lot and grew as a human reading this. I’ll definitely get the audiobook when that comes out and “read” it again.

[Gordon Gilmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

TLDR (last paragraph):

Elle's book does such a great job of tackling a lot of anxieties and fragilities that crop up when white folks are doing the work of antiracism and speaking to the plethora of ways in which communities can band together to support such work, if not from the front line of a march. Chapter 4 addressed the bulk of what had been expressed in that reaction from my classmate, and chapter 6 did a wonderful job speaking to the power of community care, of which mutual aid is a part. Writing as a white minister from ELCA, one of the whitest churches in the US, Elle's story of grappling with her engrained white moderate perspective to have it broadened to see the police terrorism at work in black communities, and have this work alter her spiritual worldview toward one of abolitionism, is a true journey through a baptism by tear gas. And it's so readily accessible/approachable that even those who are obstinate in their white moderate worldview may open to see how the Holy Spirit is at work in these communities of resistance, and how these communities are serving as the body of Christ here on Earth to work against the systemic oppression that's warped this world and is a blight on God's creation. Thank you, Elle.

___________________________________________________________
The year 2020 radicalized me. Prior to it, I was caught in the ruts of life, nominally supporting the ends of liberation I hoped to serve, but overall not addressing that which I needed to in my academic work to support such ends. And it was then that I first learned about/got in touch with Elle Dowd. Conversations with her emboldened me to embrace the political philosophy of feminist and black liberation, and in tandem with these social anarchism, in a way that could lead to putting theory into practice to serve those ends.

While researching in Bilphena's Library, I came across a number of articles on mutual aid and the use of such practices. So I drafted a class syllabus on "Mutual Aid and the Church", and taught an abridged version of it at my church. I really needed the pedagogical practice, but overall it went well. In the final session, however, a pastor who had offered to let me teach the course at their church attended, and they watched as one of my fellow parishioners went into a reactionary rant about how I was forcing this theory on the service program at the church, despite the fact that no one had asked for it. This was, of course, disregarding the fact that each of the church services throughout the second half of 2020 and the first half of 2021 started with

"We acknowledge that we live and gather to worship on unceded native lands. We recognize that throughout our nation's history, and at this very moment, indigenous, black and brown people have been, and are, the victims at the hands of those of us entrusted to protect the common good. We recognize that racism is embedded in the systems that support our society. We commit, as a congregation, to not only study this issue, but also to seek real changes in this community."

At the time, I was caught off-guard. I got so flustered by the response on the part of this person, and the fact that they finished their response at exactly the time that the class was supposed to be ending, that I could not think of a good way to answer her and shrunk from the prospect. I had not anticipated encountering that type of reactionary fragility coming from one of the folks there. And, of course, I feared that I might have mucked up the possibility of teaching the course for my friend who was visiting the session.

But now that I've read Elle's book, I feel like I've been empowered to be able to speak to just such a situation!

Elle's book does such a great job of tackling a lot of anxieties and fragilities that crop up when white folks are doing the work of antiracism and speaking to the plethora of ways in which communities can band together to support such work, if not from the front line of a march. Chapter 4 addressed the bulk of what had been expressed in that reaction from my classmate, and chapter 6 did a wonderful job speaking to the power of community care, of which mutual aid is a part. Speaking as a white minister from ELCA, one of the whitest churches in the US, Elle's story of grappling with her engrained white moderate perspective to have her perspective broadened to see the police terrorism at work in black communities, and have this work alter her spiritual worldview toward one of abolitionism, is a true journey through a baptism by tear gas. And it's so readily accessible/approachable that even those who are obstinate in their white moderate worldview may open to see how the Holy Spirit is at work in these communities of resistance, and how these communities are serving as the body of Christ here on Earth to work against the systemic oppression that's warped this world and is a blight in God's creation. Thank you, Elle.

[Peter Jarrett-Schell · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're like me, you may have found yourself at some point on that treadmill of well-meaning whote liberal sentiment: angry over another news story of racist denigration and violence, feeling powerless to do anything about it and equivocating over whether its really all that bad until you're able to put it out of your mind and start the cycle again.

Maybe you're tired of that treadmill, and maybe you're bothered because deep down you know it is wrong, and maybe you're frustrated because you feel, and know, you're made to be more than a bench warmer for justice.

What you need is a swift, loving kick in the pants. "Baptized in Tear Gas" delivers that and more.

This is not some holier-than-thou guilt trip. Elle Dowd offers a poignant and joyful evocation to radical action, and speaks it right from the heart of the matter: She gives the story of her own conversion from amilquetoast moderate to a committed abolitionist with skin in the game.

It's a remarkable story told with remarkable humility. Dowd writes with a deep sense of gratitude and indebtedness to the many Black leaders, activists and organizers who shepherded her along the way.

She writes to pay that debt by calling us all to come down the same path, and she's serious about it too: all her profits from this book go back to liberationist organizations and directly impacted folk in the Black community.

It's an easy read, in the sense that Dowd's prose flows delightfully; and the story of her journey is sometimes nail-bting, but never boring.

Its a tough read in the sense that it wont leave you unmoved, it won't leave you unchanged.

Seriously, every white Christian everywhere should read "Baptilzied jn Tear Gas." If you're ready to get off the treadmill of empty and tired sentiment, if you're eager to walk the walk of true discipleship, this is the book for you.

[K H · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that can be many things at once. It’s a quick read from cover to cover, but it is also a book that lingers with you and begs to be reread and carefully studied. In part it is a straightforward journalistic account of the events in Ferguson, Missouri in 2014-2015. But it’s also a very stirring and intimate personal reflection on those events and on a life lived in pursuit of justice, though the definition of justice has changed over time for the author. This book is partially a love letter to the community in the greater St. Louis area, and partially a compassionate letter to the author’s younger self, who is just as guilty as all of us of making mistakes and advocating in unhelpful ways. This is a book about the beauty of Lutheran Theology and it is a book about how the white church has failed us.

Most of all this book is a call to action. Each chapter contains reflection questions to inspire thoughtful reading and personal growth, as well as action items with concrete steps a reader can take to join the movement in some small and some large ways. This is a book about how no one can do everything alone. We are better together and we must learn how each of us can fit into the larger puzzle to dismantle racism.

I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a riveting memoir, but also to anyone interested in historical perspective for the current BLM movement, and to any scholar of Lutheran theology.

[Melinda Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book written for white folks, especially those who know that Black Lives Matter but may be uncertain about what our role is, or how to respond. The author states up front she is white but is donating all the profits from the book to organizations created by Mike Brown's parents.

Dowd writes about her experience in Ferguson, witnessing the protests and discerning her role as a white protestor, a mother of Black children via transracial adoption, and as a representative of religious organization (she was not yet in seminary when she was in Ferguson but worked for the Episcopal Diocese). She writes about growing in understanding her privilege and white supremacy.

I resonated with this book based on my own experience in Seattle during the summer of 2020. The number one lesson that Dowd stresses and I agree is listening to Black voices, especially Black Women, and Queer Black voices. When one understands their experience, one begins to unveil white supremacy's hold on our view and peel back the layers to understanding the fundamental problematic nature of policing and our prison systems. This is a beginning, not an ending. One needs to read Michelle Alexander's The New Jim Crow and other works, but Dowd shares her journey of understanding as a place for white folks who understand Black Lives Matter but are unsure about protests and participation.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elle’s account of the protests in Ferguson is harrowing and eye opening. This book is great if you are 1) Christian and 2) new to anti racism work. However, I had a few grievances.

She spends two chapters covering the exact same scene of her with protesters facing a cop that was nervous and smelled like booze prior to her arrest. For her advocacy of decentering white people, she spends way more time talking about her journey during the protests than any of the work she did after, or the people she met (not beyond a passing mention in a story). Instead of repeating the same protest stories, I would have loved to hear more about her journey after. Lean into what happened with the people in her life once she started this journey. How did you find new circles when you inevitably lost friends who don’t believe in this work?

I also take issue with her take in chapter 6 about how white people “intellectualize” anti racism work, via book clubs, etc. rather than taking action. Action matters. Let’s get that straight, we all should be intentional and aim to be actionable with our anti racism work. HOWEVER, the gatekeeping is so unnecessary. If people start their journey with a book club or a simple conversation with a friend, who are we to tell them that isn’t enough?

Great messages in here with a really clunky and sometimes exclusionary (to non Christians) delivery.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book and hope/plan to live up to the challenges Elle Dowd poses for us white Christians to become abolitionists as part of our biblical commandment to do justice. This is the book I needed to read this summer to help frame my mindset for moving into a new school year/year with my church’s community organizing coalition of which I am a leader. Dowd’s book not only uses her story as a frame of reference for change, but she also makes space for the larger truth-telling stories of the African American experience with racism and injustice in America.

As an ELCA Lutheran and future librarian, I especially appreciated the reflection questions and action items at the end of each chapter. This will help individuals and groups dig into the text and learn about themselves and their neighbors. The action items give people a starting point to do justice work in their communities.

[Kaitlin Pabo-Eulberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle Dowd’s debut book, Baptized in Tear Gas, felt like a kaleidoscope into my own angst and burning in anti-racist work. White folks of the church, THIS is the book to read in the next few months. Honestly this book is vital for all white folks since she recounts her movement into the Ferguson Uprising and how she shifted from a “nice” white person to an active anti-racist and abolitionist—just expect some solid theology around Christ alongside her harrowing stories. May her words propel us into reflection and action. All of the proceeds from this book go to black activist movements! Elle is the real deal, folks.

[Anna Taylor-McCants · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle Dowd's book is relatable and challenging. Throughout her book, Dowd shares raw moments of implicit bias and racism that many white liberals - myself included - face. But she never leaves us there. Sharing her process of unlearning white supremacy helps others like her find solidarity and encouragement for their journey, too. She never promises that we'll get there (because we won't), but picking up this book might be the beginning of someone's journey or a stop along the antiracism path. Packed with so much beautiful theology, Dowd's book is the perfect addition to your church library, church Council devotion rotation, or adult faith formation schedule.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the most part, this book has some really good thoughts and ideas about racism in America and what white people can do both for ourselves and others to combat it. Unfortunately, Dowd has had little to no positive experiences with police in her work and so her opinion of police is not high to say the least. That may make this book hard to read for some and certainly left me with a number of mixed feelings, having lived in four different states in varying sized communities. However, as a book for a discussion group, I think it has merit, particularly with questions at the end of each chapter to get the conversation started.

[Neeko · Rating 5 out of 5]

prophetic

I pre-ordered three copies of this book at first opportunity, knowing that I'd want to hand it out to other people; having read it, I know I'll be getting more. Following Elle and others on Facebook during the Uprising at Ferguson played significantly in my own transformation and this book feels like a more deeply processed and embodied witness of that story and the truths it brings to light. I almost didn't write a review because I feel like anything I say is a disservice to what this work really is.. Just, read it. My white friends, white christians especially, please. This is gospel

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elle Dowd's debut is powerful. She recounts her experiences in Ferguson and beyond and invites readers to witness her transformations along the way. I especially appreciated how Dowd breaks down some of the common objections to the BLM movement (i.e. "Why do protestors destroy property?") and parses out her privileges as a White woman. Dowd's memoir joins other voices that invite us to break down systems of racism and systemic injustice, AND she puts her money where her preaching is--all profits go back to Black-led organizations. She is the first White woman I've heard of who has made this kind of commitment in publishing anti-racist literature. Buy a copy for yourself and a friend.

[Mamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Often, Christianity has its eyes on a heavenly future, and can rightfully be critiqued for promising a stress free life later while ignoring the cries of injustice in the here and now. Because Elle Dowd's theology is so incarnational, because she sees Jesus in the people who are victimized by racism, she calls for the church to place itself directly in the present struggle against racism. While her theology is cutting edge and profound, her words also give witness to the fierce determination of a Mother who is not going to let her children inherit the world that she did. Many of us live in the moderate middle, this book asks some tough questions about that placement.