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Oppositions: Selected Essays
'Mary Gaitskill is willing to think about the problematic with complexity and humanity, and without taking sides or engaging in all the fashionable moral hectoring that passes for serious thought these days.' Eimear McBride
Nuanced, daring and tender, these essays from the celebrated author of This is Pleasure and Bad Behavior , consistently fascinate and provoke. Mary Gaitskill takes on a broad range of topics from Nabokov to horse-riding with her unique ability to tease out unexpected truths and cast aside received wisdom.
Written with startling grace and linguistic flair, and delving into the complicated nature of love and the responsibility we owe to the people we encounter, the work collected here inspires the reader to think beyond their first responses to life and art. Spanning thirty years of Mary Gaitskill's writing, and covering subjects as diverse as Dancer in the Dark , the world of Charles Dickens and the Book of Revelation with her characteristic blend of sincerity and wit, Oppositions is never less than enthralling.
Nuanced, daring and tender, these essays from the celebrated author of This is Pleasure and Bad Behavior , consistently fascinate and provoke. Mary Gaitskill takes on a broad range of topics from Nabokov to horse-riding with her unique ability to tease out unexpected truths and cast aside received wisdom.
Written with startling grace and linguistic flair, and delving into the complicated nature of love and the responsibility we owe to the people we encounter, the work collected here inspires the reader to think beyond their first responses to life and art. Spanning thirty years of Mary Gaitskill's writing, and covering subjects as diverse as Dancer in the Dark , the world of Charles Dickens and the Book of Revelation with her characteristic blend of sincerity and wit, Oppositions is never less than enthralling.
203 pages, Hardcover
Published November 11, 2021
17 people are currently reading
378 people want to read
About the author
Mary Gaitskill
70 books1,514 followersMary Gaitskill is an American author of essays, short stories and novels. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Harper's Magazine, Esquire, The Best American Short Stories (1993 and 2006), and The O. Henry Prize Stories (1998). She married writer Peter Trachtenberg in 2001. As of 2005, she lived in New York City; Gaitskill has previously lived in Toronto, San Francisco, and Marin County, CA, as well as attending the University of Michigan where she earned her B.A. and won a Hopwood Award. Gaitskill has recounted (in her essay "Revelation") becoming a born-again Christian at age 21 but lapsing after six months.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
December 8, 2021
[3.5]
oppositions is an essay collection spanning decades of mary gaitskill’s writing career. despite the range of topics explored - from political scandals, learning to ride a horse in your 50s, to a review of the best-selling thriller ‘gone girl’ - the collection somehow remains cohesive and subtle, with gaitskill’s intelligence shining throughout.
gaistkill’s work is definitely polarising, perhaps even provocative. some of the points she makes you will agree with, and some others you won’t, which is something that gaitskill herself regularly acknowledges. in an essay which discusses whether nabokov’s ‘lolita’ is about love, gaistkill muses on readers potentially throwing the book across the room. but whether you’re inclined to do this or not, her writing remains compelling enough to stick around to watch the thought processes fully form and work themselves out on the page. although the terms ‘nuanced’ and ‘complex’ may seem like easy and simple choices to describe a book, especially a non-fiction, they do serve as the best options in this case.
with a refusal to analyse her subjects through a strictly intellectual lens, gaitskill instead intersects her own personal experiences throughout, no matter the topic of the essay. she veers away from convenience, avoiding the simple, easy answers and holding everything up for inspection - whether that be other writers, celebrities, books, films, music, politics, even herself. gaitskill also focuses her critical eye on some more sensitive topics, for instance sexual assault is a prominent theme, which gaitskill discusses both in terms of her own experiences and also through unpacking her mixed thoughts on the #metoo movement (a subject which is explored further in her novella ‘this is pleasure’).
whether you do or don’t ‘agree’ with the takes and analyses in this collection isn’t really important, and, to me personally, doesn’t seem to be the end goal. instead, gaitskill’s writing encourages the reader to question things, to pause their initial responses, and to take some time to think critically.
oppositions is an essay collection spanning decades of mary gaitskill’s writing career. despite the range of topics explored - from political scandals, learning to ride a horse in your 50s, to a review of the best-selling thriller ‘gone girl’ - the collection somehow remains cohesive and subtle, with gaitskill’s intelligence shining throughout.
gaistkill’s work is definitely polarising, perhaps even provocative. some of the points she makes you will agree with, and some others you won’t, which is something that gaitskill herself regularly acknowledges. in an essay which discusses whether nabokov’s ‘lolita’ is about love, gaistkill muses on readers potentially throwing the book across the room. but whether you’re inclined to do this or not, her writing remains compelling enough to stick around to watch the thought processes fully form and work themselves out on the page. although the terms ‘nuanced’ and ‘complex’ may seem like easy and simple choices to describe a book, especially a non-fiction, they do serve as the best options in this case.
with a refusal to analyse her subjects through a strictly intellectual lens, gaitskill instead intersects her own personal experiences throughout, no matter the topic of the essay. she veers away from convenience, avoiding the simple, easy answers and holding everything up for inspection - whether that be other writers, celebrities, books, films, music, politics, even herself. gaitskill also focuses her critical eye on some more sensitive topics, for instance sexual assault is a prominent theme, which gaitskill discusses both in terms of her own experiences and also through unpacking her mixed thoughts on the #metoo movement (a subject which is explored further in her novella ‘this is pleasure’).
whether you do or don’t ‘agree’ with the takes and analyses in this collection isn’t really important, and, to me personally, doesn’t seem to be the end goal. instead, gaitskill’s writing encourages the reader to question things, to pause their initial responses, and to take some time to think critically.
September 7, 2025
Finished on the train to and from Bendigo.
blackflagged-dnf
April 26, 2022I went in knowing I wouldn't like this and I was right, I don't like it. I'm DNF'ing, despite the fact that Mary even wrote satire on Ayn Rand, as she makes me just as intensely uncomfortable as Rand.
Mary Gaitskill is confused.
I am not confused about her confusion, but she is definitely confused. About awfully serious matters. Which is understandable. Serious matters are usually confusing, if one does take them seriously. However...
"I suppose agreement or disagreement would depend on what you mean by love. To me love primarily is an emotion. I know many people would say that if they felt horrible, or if it isn't mutual, or if it made you behave badly that it isn't really love. Everybody treats people they love badly sometimes, or behaves aggressively towards them. To paraphrase Humbert (personal note: of all fucking people), sometimes a passionate dream overshoots the mark and turns into a nightmare."
Her confusion is dangerous. What with her own personal history, she fails to mention to her readers that there is still such a thing as abusive, malicious love that preys on the notion that "aggressive love" is still love, therefore arguably acceptable.
And it is not acceptable, in any way, shape, form or size. It is an unhealthy way of idealising abuse.
And somewhere out there some young, impressionable girl with some utopian reasoning of love will read this and allow herself to be abused, in the name of this illusion of "a passionate dream" that doesn't even need to turn itself into a nightmare as it has rather been one since the beginning.
Have had similar issues with this Outlander series, see here.
Mary Gaitskill is confused.
I am not confused about her confusion, but she is definitely confused. About awfully serious matters. Which is understandable. Serious matters are usually confusing, if one does take them seriously. However...
"I suppose agreement or disagreement would depend on what you mean by love. To me love primarily is an emotion. I know many people would say that if they felt horrible, or if it isn't mutual, or if it made you behave badly that it isn't really love. Everybody treats people they love badly sometimes, or behaves aggressively towards them. To paraphrase Humbert (personal note: of all fucking people), sometimes a passionate dream overshoots the mark and turns into a nightmare."
Her confusion is dangerous. What with her own personal history, she fails to mention to her readers that there is still such a thing as abusive, malicious love that preys on the notion that "aggressive love" is still love, therefore arguably acceptable.
And it is not acceptable, in any way, shape, form or size. It is an unhealthy way of idealising abuse.
And somewhere out there some young, impressionable girl with some utopian reasoning of love will read this and allow herself to be abused, in the name of this illusion of "a passionate dream" that doesn't even need to turn itself into a nightmare as it has rather been one since the beginning.
Have had similar issues with this Outlander series, see here.
June 6, 2025
A very intelligent collection of essays. Mary Gaitskill stays true to herself and does not shy away from a controversial comment. I did really enjoy the essays on Nabokov but, once again, I found her writing about assault quite triggering.
March 16, 2025
her mind!!!! every person/writer of my generation should read mary gaitskill, who reminds us to look with fresh eyes and to be generous even in the face of evil, and that the easiest/most popular opinion is often an inferior one
June 11, 2025
Gaitskill skriver om Uppenbarelseboken, skrämmande ridskolehästar, att slå huvudet i en bro i St. Petersburg, diskursen kring "offermentalitet", Björks bästa musikallåt, Nabokovs "Lolita", fruar till otrogna politiker, Linda Lovelace och mycket mer.
Hon är nyfiken på världen, människorna och sig själv. Exakt i sina iakttagelser och en fantastisk stilist. Orädd för kontroversiella slutsatser men också beredd att ompröva dem om de vid ett andra påseende visar sig vara förenklade.
I en text skriver hon om filmatiseringen av hennes novell "Secretary" och de dimensioner av berättelsen som filmen missade.
(Novellen handlar om en tonårstjej, Debby, som börjar jobba som sekreterare hos en advokat som straffar hennes stavfel med smisk och olika former av sexuell dominans. Men det Gaitskill verkligen är intresserad av, och som gör novellen mycket mindre BDSM-klyschig än min sammanfattning får det att verka, är Debby som karaktär och hennes komplicerade känslor.)
Här blir skillnaden mellan Gaitskills noveller och hennes essäer på något sätt extra tydlig för mig. Novellförfattaren Gaitskill minns jag som en sval, icke-värderande observatör även om hennes karaktärer kunde vara i upplösningstillstånd. Lite flärdfullt amoralisk. Som doften av en cool persons cigarettrök. Essäisten Gaitskill känns däremot avväpnande personlig och empatisk - nyanserad men inte alls rädd att värdera.
Gaitskill skriver ibland om verkligt mörka ämnen, inklusive självupplevda trauman och övergrepp, och jag inser att detta inte är en bok för alla - men jag tyckte den var rakt igenom suverän.
Hon är nyfiken på världen, människorna och sig själv. Exakt i sina iakttagelser och en fantastisk stilist. Orädd för kontroversiella slutsatser men också beredd att ompröva dem om de vid ett andra påseende visar sig vara förenklade.
I en text skriver hon om filmatiseringen av hennes novell "Secretary" och de dimensioner av berättelsen som filmen missade.
(Novellen handlar om en tonårstjej, Debby, som börjar jobba som sekreterare hos en advokat som straffar hennes stavfel med smisk och olika former av sexuell dominans. Men det Gaitskill verkligen är intresserad av, och som gör novellen mycket mindre BDSM-klyschig än min sammanfattning får det att verka, är Debby som karaktär och hennes komplicerade känslor.)
Här blir skillnaden mellan Gaitskills noveller och hennes essäer på något sätt extra tydlig för mig. Novellförfattaren Gaitskill minns jag som en sval, icke-värderande observatör även om hennes karaktärer kunde vara i upplösningstillstånd. Lite flärdfullt amoralisk. Som doften av en cool persons cigarettrök. Essäisten Gaitskill känns däremot avväpnande personlig och empatisk - nyanserad men inte alls rädd att värdera.
Gaitskill skriver ibland om verkligt mörka ämnen, inklusive självupplevda trauman och övergrepp, och jag inser att detta inte är en bok för alla - men jag tyckte den var rakt igenom suverän.
August 17, 2024
I read this out of curiosity after hearing about a particular essay on a podcast. And I loved it.
I’m suddenly writing wannabe observational, sideways interrogations of life. Though with dimmer intelligence and vocabulary.
I’ve learned about 10 new words I might never have the courage to use.
And I’m an instant fan.
Some of the most unexpected topics that stirred me: riding a horse, pop music, and what Gaitskill thinks Lolita is really about.
February 11, 2024
Gaitskill likes nuance, specificity, truth of feeling and all the shades of grey. This is why reading her essays can be a bit laborious, although satisfying: not one to just say something because it sounds neat or persuasive she is one for exploring the depths. Liked some essays more than others, but well worth a read if you’re a fan
Want to read
April 15, 2023to-read
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May 11, 2024astute and discerning without pretensions
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July 17, 2024one of the best essayists i’ve read recently. loved the closing piece on lolita, which helped me to articulate my hazy intuitions about the book
Read
August 16, 2024a compelling voice, especially for someone who dnfs most non-fiction. also i was 11 the last time i saw the word antediluvian.
January 25, 2026
One thing about Ms Gaitskill is she knows how to write a hot take
October 1, 2025
quite conflicted about this collection of essays. gaitskill chose interesting and under explored ideas, but i never really felt she offered thoughts with much clarity. I appreciated her ability to offer different interpretations, but it felt like she was a bit confused on where she ultimately stood- especially on her essay on Gone Girl- or she was a bit timid in presenting her ideas. her essays on ‘date rape’ rules and the changing problematics with lolita definitely stood out.
‘regardless of gender, all people have their strong, questing aspects as well as their more delicate aspects. If you haven’t developed these characteristics in ways that are respectful of yourself and others, you will find it hard to be responsible for any of them.’
‘regardless of gender, all people have their strong, questing aspects as well as their more delicate aspects. If you haven’t developed these characteristics in ways that are respectful of yourself and others, you will find it hard to be responsible for any of them.’
June 8, 2024
We had cake and caviar during intermission, then came back to the penetrating scent of fresh piss wafting through our box from the lavatory's open door. The painted cherub on the wall next to us had a crumbling foot and I thought the whole box might crumble, and pitch us into the human sea below.
But the orchestra played jauntily, the dancers gamely twirled their skirts. Aged matadors with turtle eyes stumped across the stage with their old backs staunchly humped. When we came out, the streets were full of girls wearing tight shirts with plunging necklines and light-colored pants with dark thongs showing underneath, and deep-eyed boys fiercely escorting them. Rattling cars came at us in waves; a clock tower too, defaced by too much gold bore down, and a giant rearing horse.
I took Peter's hand. He raised his arm. A car stopped for us, not a taxi, just a young guy wanting to make extra money. Peter told him where were were going and negotiated a price. The driver's face, sideways in the side mirror, was beautiful and full of wasted strength. He turned the wheel and took us into a speeding gray curve of traffic, nearly colliding with an oppositional curve. Above us clouds continued to move, slow and round, and massively white on top.
Beautifully written selection covering a wide range of topics. Gaitskill certainly doesn't hesitate to be provocative, but her best essays are always interesting and novel in unexpected ways. My favourite essays were "A Lot of Exploding Heads", "The Trouble With Following the Rules", "The Bridge" (which reads like a very intricate short story), "Icon: On Linda Lovelace", "Somebody with a Little Hammer", "The Running Shadow of Your Voice", and "I Cannot Get Out, Said the Starling".
But the orchestra played jauntily, the dancers gamely twirled their skirts. Aged matadors with turtle eyes stumped across the stage with their old backs staunchly humped. When we came out, the streets were full of girls wearing tight shirts with plunging necklines and light-colored pants with dark thongs showing underneath, and deep-eyed boys fiercely escorting them. Rattling cars came at us in waves; a clock tower too, defaced by too much gold bore down, and a giant rearing horse.
I took Peter's hand. He raised his arm. A car stopped for us, not a taxi, just a young guy wanting to make extra money. Peter told him where were were going and negotiated a price. The driver's face, sideways in the side mirror, was beautiful and full of wasted strength. He turned the wheel and took us into a speeding gray curve of traffic, nearly colliding with an oppositional curve. Above us clouds continued to move, slow and round, and massively white on top.
Beautifully written selection covering a wide range of topics. Gaitskill certainly doesn't hesitate to be provocative, but her best essays are always interesting and novel in unexpected ways. My favourite essays were "A Lot of Exploding Heads", "The Trouble With Following the Rules", "The Bridge" (which reads like a very intricate short story), "Icon: On Linda Lovelace", "Somebody with a Little Hammer", "The Running Shadow of Your Voice", and "I Cannot Get Out, Said the Starling".
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews