One Tough Mother: It's Time to Step Up and Be the Mom

by Julie Ann Barnhill

Moms get a lot of advice from TV shows, magazines, friends, their own mothers, and more. But all of this well-meaning counsel tends to paralyze moms. They worry about their children's self-esteem, their health, and whether or not their children like them. They even agonize over scrapbooking every moment of development. Julie Barnhill says, "Enough already!" Unapologetically raucous, slightly irreverent, and refreshingly relevant, One Tough Mother exposes the mind-numbing, brain-draining, confidence-depleting minutia moms get stuck in. With humor and a sharp wit, Julie offers moms a dose of reality and a way to calm their fears about raising children. She encourages moms to straighten up, take back the control from their children, and stand firm on the nonnegotiables. With her help, any mom can become one tough mother.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2007

Reviews

[Kristen]

I heard Julie Barnhill speak at last year's MOPS convention and I LOVED her! She is so funny, yet down-to-earth and honest about what it's like to be a mom. I am learning so much about what kind of mom I want to be and a few things I need to do to get there!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Julie Barnhill having read her magazine articles and seeing her speak twice. She always is very direct, down to earth, and no-nonsense but also relatable in weaknesses and mistakes. I loved this book about having backbone as a mother but also remembering that success doesn't come without failure and that the true backbone is our faith. Some of my favorite chapters/non-negotiables: "Say No Like You Mean It", "Get a Hobby Other Than Your Kid", "Facing Your Giants", and "You Are Only A Failure If You Quit, Like Forever". The big bonus is this is one of my bargain bin finds $3.97, woohoo!

[Trish Boese · Rating 5 out of 5]

5* Julie Barnhill writes as though she is talking to you over a cup of coffee. This book provides help for mothers who are dominated by the whims of their children. One tough mother can step up, take charge, and be the boss with no excuses, just because you are the mom! I was reminded that house rules are important and children do thrive where there are some consistent and enforced household rules.

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, down to earth reading. I laughed out loud at some of her stories--because they are so true! Don't know how applicable younger mothers might find this book, but they can certainly learn from it. Wish I'd had it as a young mom. I would love to be friends with Julie Barnhill! She seems like a lot of fun.

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny book and it had some good ideas in it, but it mostly felt like whatever you do as a parent is right. I was looking for some more solid advise. I think that is why it took me so long to finish the book. It was, however, nice to read that it is OK to lose your mind at times and that it doesn't make you a bad parent.

[Christa]

I've just started reading this, but so far, it seems like a very good read! Julie is very funny and real in her writing. I think that I thought I was a One Tough Mother, but I'm seeing that I have been letting some things slide. Her advice is very practical and seems easy to put into practice. I'll update my review when I finish the book.

[Melly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as tough as she seems -- not your usual "beat your kids" Christian parenting manifesto either. I have to give her credit -- her writing is entertaining enough that I read this book even though she (1) chose not to breastfeed and (2) loves Fox News. That's saying a lot!

[Nicole Handy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected when I heard her on Weekend Edition of Focus on the Family. It was more about convincing mothers to stand up and be tough, not necessarily giving specific ways...one of her suggestions was to not let yourself go (my words).

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It was encouraging, funny, and fully acknowledged how hard motherhood is. I appreciated not getting any magic formulas for perfect kids or getting a measuring stick for how I'm doing as a mother. The gist of it was to ourselves some slack, rely on God and trust in His grace.

[Heidi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I LOVE Julie Barnhill - I have heard her speak twice at Hearts at Home. She is absolutely hilarious and it is so fun to listen to her stories. I just don't think this was the right book for me. I have two more of hers out from the library to read.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought that this would provide more how to tips, but the one thing it did do was boost my confidence.

[Kristiann · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some good nuggets in here. I think it was worth the read, but I wouldn't go buy it for everyone.

[Jennifer]

Good, not really a pray kinda mom but gives really good tips. Some I already have learned on my own and some I learned through reading.

[NancyInWI · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this from the author at a Hearts at Home conference. I had been to her workshop, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The author gives down-to-earth advice with a touch of mirth thrown in.

[Katie Gamble · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable, funny, nothing heavy, but occasionally contains practical applications.

[Di · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent guide to stepping up and being the mother! Loving but firm discipline and having what it takes to be a confident mother.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not tough enough....

[Brenda Wharton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judy has a great sense of humor and many good examples of how to step up and be the mom. Let your yes be yes and when you say no, then mean it.

[Melissa (Always Behind) · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are a parent who longs for the good old days when parents were the bosses and child rearing wasn't a democracy, then Julie Barnhill knows exactly where you are coming from. The author has discovered that in many homes, the children are in charge, not the parents. And in One Tough Mother, she lays a foundation for those who want to step up and take back the parenting role.

Barnhill discusses the top ten non-negotiables for being One Tough Mother:

Be the Boss (without Apology!) - don't abdicate, delegate, or relegate this responsibility to others (or the child).
Delight in Your Perfectly Ordinary Child - stop being obsessed with your child being exceptional and enjoy who they are.
Stop Tinkering with the Inane - trust your instincts and stop over-thinking the details.
Say No Like You Mean It.
Get a Hobby Other Than Your Kid.
Love Them Like Crazy - be demonstrative and involved.
Remember It's All Worth It - create an environment of humor and security.
Leave Nothing Unspoken - tell your children how much you treasure them.
Face Your Giants - your parents, doctors, school personnel, other moms who might make you cower.
Never Give Up - avoid fear and realize that failure only occurs when you quit.

The author discusses each of these topics in a heartfelt, conversational manner. The information is good, and anecdotes help readers understand the topics in order to put them into action in their own lives. However, the conversational style of writing is often too familiar and cutesy and can become a chore to read and sort through. There's a lot of excess chatter to sift through to get to the meat of the lessons.

One Tough Mother is a great book for those who want to improve their parenting and 'step up and be the mom.' It would also be a good choice for group discussion. Although the writing can be difficult to sift through at times, the overall message is well worth the effort. There are some invaluable lessons for moms who have long stayed in the background, yet want to love and nurture their children more thoroughly.

[Titilope · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book on Motherhood I have ever read. Highly practical and encouraging. I wish I could give it a million stars. I wish every woman and mother could read it

[Julie Winkler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious stories!