Εξαιρετική επιρροή - Πως οι σπουδαίοι ηγέτες μπορούν να αναδείξουν τον καλύτερο εαυτό των υφισταμένων τους

by Tim Irwin

Το πανάρχαιο ερώτημα για κάθε ηγέτη είναι ένα: πώς αναδεικνύουμε τον καλύτερο εαυτό των υφισταμένων μας; Οποιοσδήποτε έχει διευθύνει μία εταιρεία, έχει μεγαλώσει παιδιά, έχει διοικήσει μία στρατιωτική μονάδα ή έχει προπονήσει μία ομάδα, πασχίζει να βρει το κλειδί, για να βοηθήσει τους άλλους να αριστεύσουν και να εκφράσουν τις δυνατότητές τους. Είναι εντυπωσιακό πόσο συχνά καταφεύγουμε στην επίκριση και όχι σε μια προσέγγιση, η οποία ουσιαστικά διαπλάθει έναν καλύτερο υφιστάμενο και έναν καλύτερο άνθρωπο.
Τι θα γινόταν αν μπορούσαμε να εκφράσουμε Λόγια Ζωής που να μεταμορφώνουν όσους βρίσκονται κάτω από την επιρροή μας, φουντώνοντας τη φλόγα των αυθόρμητων κινήτρων; Τι θα γινόταν αν οι υφιστάμενοί μας έβρισκαν έναν σπουδαίο σκοπό σε αυτό που κάνουν και αφιερώνονταν στη δουλειά τους με όλη τους την ψυχή; Δεν είναι αυτό που πραγματικά θέλουν όλοι οι ηγέτες, γονείς και δάσκαλοι; Όλοι μας ελπίζουμε να καλλιεργήσουμε τα εσωτερικά κίνητρα των άλλων, έτσι ώστε τα άτομα στα οποία ηγούμαστε να γίνουν καλύτεροι υπάλληλοι, καλύτεροι μαθητές, καλύτεροι αθλητές. Πρόσφατες έρευνες της επιστήμης του εγκεφάλου, αλλά και η σοφία των σπουδαίων διευθυνόντων συμβούλων εταιρειών από τους οποίους έχει πάρει συνέντευξη ο Δρ. Τιμ Έργουιν γι' αυτό το βιβλίο, μας δίνουν τις απαντήσεις που αναζητούσαμε επί τόσο καιρό.
Στις περισσότερες επιχειρήσεις, οι μέθοδοι που χρησιμοποιούνται για να αξιολογηθούν οι υφιστάμενοι, όπως οι αξιολογήσεις απόδοσης και τα συστήματα αξιολόγησης πολλαπλών κριτών, συχνά καταφέρνουν το ακριβώς αντίθετο από αυτό που σκοπεύουν. Αναπόφευκτα, αυτό που εκφράζουμε είναι Λόγια Θανάτου. Η επιστήμη του εγκεφάλου μάς αποκαλύπτει ότι οι μέθοδοι αυτοί συνήθως προκαλούν μία φυσική "αρνητική προδιάθεση" η οποία είναι ενστικτώδης σε όλους μας.
Τα πρόσφατα χρόνια, η επιστήμη ανακάλυψε ότι η επιβεβαίωση επιφέρει τεράστιες θετικές αλλαγές στον εγκέφαλο. Απελευθερώνει συγκεκριμένες νευροχημικές ουσίες που σχετίζονται με την ευφορία και την αποδοτικότητα. Είναι εντυπωσιακό, αλλά η επίκριση προκαλεί την ακριβώς αντίθετη αντίδραση των νευρώνων. Το πιο πρωτόγονο τμήμα του εγκεφάλου περνά σε κατάσταση άμυνας, χειροτερεύοντας την αποδοτικότητά μας, τορπιλίζοντας τα κίνητρά μας, και περιορίζοντας τις ανώτερες δυνατότητές μας.
Πώς θα ανακατευθύνουμε υπαλλήλους που έχουν υπερβεί τα όρια δίχως να προκαλέσουμε τη φυσική τους "αρνητική προδιάθεση"; Οι ηγέτες πρέπει να αφαιρέσουν για πάντα από το λεξιλόγιό τους την έννοια της "εποικοδομητικής επίκρισης". Η επιστήμη του εγκεφάλου μάς λέει ότι πρέπει να δημιουργήσουμε μία σχέση ανάμεσα στο έργο του υπαλλήλου και στις φιλοδοξίες του. Αυτό το βιβλίο υποστηρίζει μία καινούρια προσέγγιση, η οποία θα συντονίσει τους εργαζόμενους με τον σκοπό της επιχείρησης, τη στρατηγική και τους στόχους της, και που ονομάζεται "Συμμαχική Ανατροφοδότηση". (Από την παρουσίαση της έκδοσης)

Genres: Leadership, Business, Personal Growth, Nonfiction, Management

208 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2020

Reviews

[Amir Hafzalla · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some good points that you can benefit from, especially around giving affirmation and words of life. I also agree and like the comments about ending constructive criticism.

Some of the things that bothered me were: Many reference to brain studies that didn’t know if they were credible or not. Also, he referred to a lot of CEOs that he interviewed without referring to who they were. I am sure for confidentiality, he couldn’t disclose, but I found it annoying.

Last, there was a story about a friend that was on a train and the kids were acting up and then the friend told the father to stop the kids, but he said that they just came back from the mother’s funeral. This story was in the beginning of Stephen Covey’s “7 habits of highly effective people”. Don’t know if they have the same friend, but seemed like a fake story to emphasize a point, which is something I also did appreciate.

[Ember James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book. I think everyone should read this, regardless if they are leaders. There are even suggestions for parents.

There are great suggestions on how to interact with people and influence them in a way that gets things accomplished without demeaning them. The author also provides many scientific studies that suggest the negativity bias in our brains makes constructive criticism less effective that affirmations and some positive feedback. In the book, the author asks a couple of times if the reader will help eradicate the term constructing criticism.

I loved the stories that the author used to prove his points. It's semi-autobiographical in nature, but the cases are sound.

[David Yarde · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wasn't quite sure what to expect from this book at first but it was one that although a short read, was filled with tons of solid information. The kind of information that makes you put it down to think for a bit before continuing.

Especially loved the call to action at the end. Reading a book is one thing but implementing it is another!

[Rivka · Rating 4 out of 5]

El título puede hacer dudar de su lectura, pero el contenido es bueno.
El PhD Tim Irwin basado en su experiencia como consultor de importantes empresas y sus estudios en neurociencia, sociología de comportamiento y en extenso "trabajo de campo" que ha hecho. Nos brinda herramientas para influir en las personas que nos rodean, de una manera profunda y positiva.

[Ken Lenoir · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. A little lighter on specific application than I would have liked, hence the 4 stars instead of 5. It definitely made me rethink how I interact with my team and the people I interact with overall.

A few of the key takeways:
- criticism activates the amygdala and the person doesnt hear you and decreases higher functioning of the brain
- affirmation activates the higher functions of the brain, bringing out creativity, reaourcefulness, and all sorts of other good things
- the best things to affirm are: 1) the person's style or unique approach to life/the situation, 2) the person's competence or how well they've done something, and 3) the person's character, or why they've done something, or who they are as people
- feedback, since it's not all sunshine and roses all the time, is best done by connecting the persons behavior that led to a less than desirable outcome with their professed ambitions and/or their agreements with the company mission, etc

[Reuben]

The blue suitcase effect: filled a blue suitcase with food.

the most powerful personal affirmation occurs when another person acknowledges the strength of our character. Criticism does the opposite.

Extraordinary influence can bring out the best in others. Affirmation is the means by which we achieve that influence. We must Master the art of affirmation to do this.

Words of Life transform us.

10 categories of words of life:
Integrity
Courage
Humility
Authenticity
Self-regulation
Wisdom
Candor
Resilience
Influence

it's better to affirm someone's core than to a firm specific actions. Affirm people's character.

Lots of evidence about why criticism diminishes people's abilities. The term constructive criticism should be eliminated.

Alliance feedback is mentioned a lot. It's a connecting of the behaviors that need improvement to the hopes dreams an aspirations of the recipient

[Stacy culler · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise of this book is that we can bring out the best in others in the workplace by Affirming their best qualities, avoiding criticism, and helping people align their efforts to coincide with their core values, and the corporate values of your company.

I found the book to be a little tedious, as it seemed to take a fairly obvious concept (for a former pre-K teacher whose entire teaching strategy was framed around positive discipline, anyway) and made it overly complicated. I guess that is how you sell these types of books.

I agreed with the basic, common sense concepts, but was a little annoyed by all of the corporate buzzwords that I have heard falling from the lips of leaders without actually meaning any of it.

Nothing earth shaking here, just plain common sense.

[Shivani Gupta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good one.
Reminding us about the power or affirmations and positive appraisive approach rather than negative criticism, whether it be on your workplace or at home as a parent.
If you wish a child to listen. Set them goals. Focusing on your goals and showing the deviations which lead us far from them instead sending a step nearer will do much better than just yelling, and negative criticism. As the same can be seen beneficial in the short term but devastating in the long run. Same applies to your workplace.

[Sarah Jensen]

Book Review: Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others
Authors: Tim Irwin
Foreword by: Tim Tassopoulos
Publisher: Per Capita Publishing
Publication Date: March 2, 2018
ISBN: 978-0998664803

Introduction
In Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others, Tim Irwin explores vital leadership principles that enable leaders to inspire and elevate their teams. Drawing on extensive research and personal experiences, Irwin combines theoretical frameworks with practical insights to illustrate how effective leadership can profoundly impact individual and organizational performance. The foreword by Tim Tassopoulos, former President of Chick-fil-A, adds credibility and real-world context to Irwin’s arguments.

Content Overview
Irwin’s book is structured around the core idea that influence is the bedrock of effective leadership. He identifies key behaviors and practices that leaders can adopt to enhance their influence and create a positive organizational culture. The book emphasizes the following critical concepts:

The Importance of Trust: Irwin argues that trust is foundational to influence. He discusses how leaders can build trust through transparency, consistency, and integrity, thereby creating an environment where team members feel valued and empowered.

Empathy and Understanding: The author emphasizes the need for leaders to connect with their team members on a personal level. By understanding the perspectives and motivations of others, leaders can foster stronger relationships and encourage collaboration.

Recognition and Encouragement: Recognizing and celebrating the contributions of team members is crucial for enhancing morale and productivity. Irwin provides practical strategies for leaders to give constructive feedback and acknowledge achievements in meaningful ways.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset: Irwin advocates for leaders to promote a culture of continuous learning and improvement. By encouraging risk-taking and innovation, leaders can empower their teams to pursue excellence and adapt to challenges.

Leading by Example: The book underscores the importance of modeling the behaviors and values that leaders wish to see in their teams. Irwin posits that leaders who demonstrate commitment, accountability, and resilience inspire similar qualities in others.

Thematic Analysis
A central theme in Extraordinary Influence is the transformational power of leadership. Irwin illustrates how effective leaders can effect significant change not just in their organizations, but also in the lives of their team members. This theme resonates with contemporary leadership theories that emphasize the role of emotional intelligence, ethical leadership, and servant leadership in fostering a positive organizational culture.

Another prominent theme is the notion of impact through relationships. The book articulates that leadership is fundamentally about interpersonal dynamics. By nurturing authentic relationships, leaders can cultivate an environment conducive to open communication and collaboration.

Strengths
One of the major strengths of Extraordinary Influence is its practical approach. Irwin provides actionable insights and real-world examples that make the concepts relatable and applicable for leaders at all levels. The combination of research findings and personal anecdotes enhances the book’s credibility and engagement.

Additionally, the writing style is clear and accessible, making it suitable for a wide audience, including both seasoned leaders and those new to leadership roles. The inclusion of reflective questions and exercises at the end of each chapter encourages readers to actively engage with the material and apply it to their own contexts.

Critique
While Extraordinary Influence presents valuable insights, some readers may find that it could delve deeper into the complexities of leadership challenges, particularly in diverse and fast-paced environments. Discussing potential obstacles to implementing the habits described could provide a more comprehensive understanding of the dynamics at play in different organizational contexts.

Furthermore, although the book highlights the importance of empathy and trust, it would benefit from a more extensive exploration of how leaders can navigate situations where these qualities are tested, particularly during times of crisis or change.

Conclusion
In conclusion, Tim Irwin’s Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others is an insightful and practical guide for leaders seeking to enhance their influence and positively impact their organizations. By emphasizing trust, empathy, recognition, and leading by example, Irwin lays a solid foundation for effective leadership in today’s complex workplace. This book is highly recommended for leaders, educators, and organizational developers who aspire to cultivate a culture of excellence and collaboration. Through its thoughtful analysis and practical strategies, Extraordinary Influence serves as a vital resource in the field of leadership development.

[Joanne Viola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone wants to learn how to bring out the best in others. Whether we are a boss, a teacher, a coach, a parent, or a friend, we desire to impact and influence others to reach their full potential.

In his newest book, "Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others, Dr. Tim Irwin explores the power of affirmation. We want people around us to speak words of life over us.

Affirmation from those we respect, admire, and love profoundly changes us.

As we incorporate and utilize words of affirmation, we begin to influence others and bring out the best in them. Criticize focuses on their deficits while affirmation focuses on their abilities and achievements in a positive manner.

This is truly a wonderful book for every leader. His suggestions are practical and meaningful, kind and sincere. Our focus in leadership should be to build cohesive and healthy functioning organizations, teams, churches, and families.

The author asks a most thought provoking question: What would happen if we applied these principles of affirmation more broadly? And he brings much food for thought.

This book is a wonderful read for every leader but also for every individual. We all need to speak words of life over those we interact with each day. Change can begin with each one of us and words of sincere affirmation is the way we begin to turn things around.

**I received a pre-release version of this book in return for my honest review after reading it. I enjoyed this book and believe it will be helpful and appreciated by anyone.

[Aaron Mikulsky · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the book, Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others, Dr. Tim Irwin discusses the keys to help others excel and realize their potential. Science in recent years has discovered that affirmation sets in motion huge positive changes in the brain. It releases certain neurochemicals associated with well-being and higher performance. The age-old question for every organization is, how do we bring out the best in those we are responsible for leading? How do we get them to care? How do we ensure productivity, quality, timeliness and great attention to customers? How do we help them love their jobs? We gain an extraordinary ability to transform others when we affirm them versus when we apply what might euphemistically be called “constructive criticism.” Recent brain research argues that many of the things we do to motivate others, in fact, accomplishes the exact opposite of what we intend. We inadvertently engage the wrong part of the brain. Why do we want affirmation? Of course, it feels good, but why? Aristotle observed that every person is drawn by a telos, or purpose, in their lives. Deep down, we want to know that we gave it our all to pursue high and noble ends and to realize a deep sense of significance in our lives. We long for confirmation that, in fact, our lives count for something. The most powerful personal affirmation occurs perhaps when another person acknowledges the strength of our character. Our brains benefit dramatically from affirmation. They light up with electrical activity.

[Dawnielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Tim Irwin, in his newest book, “Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others, Dr. explores the power of affirmation.
I love the premise of this book about speaking life and not death into others by affirming who they are. I think this book lays out a positive pathway to help answer the question of “How do I get another person to rise above the daily-ness of their lives to perform beyond what anyone thought possible?” (p7)
What a difference we could make in other’s lives if we used affirmations instead of a task-driven leadership style and interaction style.
How much more productive and inviting might the workplace be if we were practicing affirming one another instead of criticizing. “The hard facts of science demonstrate that if you want to bring out the best in others, you must affirm them in prescribed ways. If you want to diminish their creativity and resourcefulness, then use harsh criticism.” P. 19
“Affirmation cannot fix every problem or heal every broken person.” P 23, but as Dr. Irwin demonstrates in this book they can go a very long way and lead to some wonderful results.
“Extraordinary Influence” is for those in the workforce as well as parents, teachers, coaches, scout leaders, and other youth leaders. With all the disfunction in our society today, your “words of life” maybe some of the first ones that the person you are speaking them to has ever heard.

[Cindy Rhodes · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much to highlight in this book. I was reading this on vacation and the first line I highlighted was "Many view their jobs as a penalty box between weekends." So true. Every leader needs to read this book. Let's make sure that we are not putting our teams in penalty boxes! Dr. Irwin doesn't just give ideas on how to fix everyone. He backs his information with research.
"A client organization almost lost their most gifted player recently, because they would not deal with a problem person. The emotional pain this problem person caused over a long period of time merited his firing years earlier." When I read that I had a moment. Having worked for a problem person for many years, who has cost the organization much talent, I was finally able to say, this person is the problem. This person has inflicted so much damage, it's time to move on. I left guilt and insecurity behind me.
Finally, Dr. Irwin does a great job giving examples of what Extraordinary Leadership looks like. Every leader should read this book. If you are the problem person, own it and fix it. If you are a good leader, this will help you become great.

[Charity · Rating 5 out of 5]

What's one more book on leadership? In this case, it's one more book you need to read!

This book brought to mind Kubicek's "Leadership is Dead: How Influence is Reviving It." Irwin brings out elements of leadership that might seem like "soft" skills but in the changing times of tech and the rise of the millennial workforce, these skills are going to be the proving point in shaping teams of brilliant young people and giving them the sense of value that enables them to work effectively. Irwin's example of a great leader is one who uses their personal influence to build teams, meet goals and create better leaders to follow.

Great leaders realize their power is in their personal influence, not in their public position. Irwin's book enforces this concept.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

We can probably all remember negative words that were spoken to us that felt like they hurt. this book lets us know that there is brain science that confirms that negative words do indeed hurt. This book discusses how leaders can motivate people they are responsible for in a positive manner. The author will be talking about affirming versus constructive criticism. the author gives examples of Words of Life in ten categories, deals with constructive criticism, and how to bring out the best in people. At the end of the book, there is a section addressed to parents, teachers, and coaches. This was a quick read. I think these teachings could be applied in many situations. I received a copy for review purposes.

[Chris Aiken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important. Challenging. Thought-provoking

A great resource and a challenge on a personal and professional level. If only pragmatic, this resource offers insightful correctives to the leaders’ playbook. Can we achieve more through affirmation than criticism? On a human level or even as a representative of the Kingdom of God, can we make a better world and the journey 5rough it more pleasant and effective if we merely hear the words of this book at a heart level and strive to reprogram our approach? This is a needed resource for me personally and leaders in general. It requires a commitment to re-read regularly until functionally present in the leader’s toolbox. It is a 5/5 for me!

[Mike Shoss · Rating 4 out of 5]

The scientific consensus is clear: affirmation has a positive effect on the brain. But here’s the flipside: unconstructive criticism, yelling and humiliation are just as capable of altering the brain – for the worse.

In fact, nothing is quite as likely to undermine a person’s resourcefulness and self-confidence. The alternative? Affirmation. That’s all about speaking to people’s core competencies, values and strengths. And once you learn the art of affirmative communication, you can begin encouraging your children, colleagues and employees to become their best selves. 

[Daniel Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a wonderful book from cover to cover.

The main message of the book is that all of us have an incredible opportunity to affirm not only the potential but the performance of those we influence. In doing so, we strengthen them and ultimately ourselves. Tim’s book is a must read and will encourage and strengthen the reader to make a difference in the lives of others that will lead them to higher ground.

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Except for one, all examples including women were negative or superficial, while examples of men in leadership positions or learning life lessons were on the whole more positive. This completely neglected any consideration of gender roles or any other type of diversity aspects of leadership and business. Very surface level considerations that failed to go deep enough to truly be considered “extraordinary.”

[Wally Bock · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others by Tim Irwin has a lot of good information. You’ll like this book if information is your overriding purpose for reading. If you’re bothered by writing that doesn’t define terms the first time they’re used, non-standard terminology, and logical flaws, you should skip this book.

See my full review at

https://www.threestarleadership.com/b...

[Allen Cooley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book’s main premise is that to influence the behavior of employees (or really anyone), we must affirm their core values and tie feedback to the person’s relevant aspirations. Much of the book is anecdotal in nature, though each chapter does contain references to research or other materials. While I agree with the main points of this book, I can’t say that I found any of this profound or enlightening, though I did find the research on criticism and negative feedback interesting.

[Adrienne Servis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! As a parent and a leader of women and parents, I have been so enlightened by this book. Dr. Irwin so nicely said "Words of Life" will change any one. This is so true. As he points out how to discover the strengths in your employees and pull those out, I've discovered some more of my own. This book is a must read. Thank you Dr. Irwin for allowing me to be a part of this launch.

[Felipe CZ · Rating 3 out of 5]

The secrets behind leadership, which basically relies on communication. According to science, affirmation has a positive effect on the brain, but the opposite is true for unconstructive criticism. By speaking to people's core competencies, values and strengths, we can become our best selves and encourage others to do the same.

[Bhall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Tim was my roommate in Boulder CO while we both worked for Cru in the 70's. Love his emphasis and affirmation, not criticism. From current brain research to CEO coaching history, Tim shows best practices in motivation and evaluation. Congrats Amigo from my and Vic!

[Corey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Details the difference between constructive criticism vs what the author calls “Alliance Feedback.” Based on research and brain science. Does a good job demonstrating the need for a reformation of feedback and performance reviews. Good resource for leaders and also coaches, teachers, and parents.

[Synthia Salomon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Affirmative communication is an art. Keep a journal to assist your development of affirmations and self-awareness. Speak to people’s core values and strengths with affirmation and constructive feedback.

[Kathy Cowie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
To be reviewed in the July-August issue of Global Business and Organizational Excellence.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!! One of the top books I've read this school year <3

[Celestia · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you have ever taken a basic psychology course, you don't need to read this book. Summary: positive feedback and reinforcement works better than negative.

[Ramiro Bolanos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sounds like a lot of stories of persons he has known. References are too vague. The message is simple, affirmatory phrases are good for people. After that, it is a lot of disseminated stories.