Slinging Arrows: How (not) to be a professional darts player

by Wayne Mardle

'Extremely funny' - Guardian Booze, Bullseyes and (more) BoozeHumanity has come a long way in the 500,000 years since Neanderthal man first started chucking spears around. Or has it? In his blisteringly funny new book, former professional player Wayne Mardle, whose crowd-pleasing antics were even more lively off stage than they were on, blows the lid off one of the UK's biggest televised sports.Known in darts circles as Hawaii 501 on account of his colourful Hawaiian shirts (yours for just forty-five quid - he's got a garage full of them) Mardle remains one of the planet's most recognisable players, having performed on the world stage during a professional career that saw him play all the greats and, quite frankly, lose to most of them. In this witty (frequently), honest (largely), and poignant (twice) guide to life both on and off the oche, Mardle delivers world-class advice - such as why you shouldn't go on a two-day Vegas booze bender before a major PDC final, or how to avoid going live on European TV with a string of expletives so outrageous that clips are still replayed, years later, on Belgian telly. Some are lessons Mardle learned the hard way; others, like why it's best to avoid being sued by a well-known biscuit manufacturer, are gleaned from green-room gossip spanning decades.

273 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 20, 2021

Reviews

[Brad Aldous · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good read with some very interesting stories being told. However, it’s clear there are certain things that have been played down in the book as to not bring the sport into disrepute. This for me weakens its authenticity.

[Ben DT Reid · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic, funny and educational read. If there’s ever a book that you can definitely confirm the author was indeed the author and not some ghost writer, it’s this. The whole book is just like one long conversation with Wayne at the local pub, over a game of darts. The stories are great, the whit and humour is next to none and it’s such a breeze to read.

[Romysh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious!

This autobiography was absolutely brilliant! I love biographies and I read quite a few, but this might just top the list. The humor Wayne has absolutely hits with me and I loved reading it from the beginning to the end.

I read this on kindle, but I really want to buy a physical copy too, that's how much I enjoyed it.

[Sophie Crane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wayne Mardle has a well-deserved reputation as one of the more articulate and insightful darts players to grace the oche over the past couple of decades, and in Slinging Arrows he's produced a book which will delight fans of the sport.

The book isn't structured like a typical memoir (i.e. a chronological slog through someone's life), rather it's split into twenty themed chapters which allow Wayne to riff on many different aspects of life as a professional dartist. From the basics of darts equipment to the financial rewards of the modern game, every aspect of darts comes in for scrutiny, analysis and - often - a whole lot of humorous asides.

Wayne doesn't pull his punches. The section on nicknames, for example, had me chuckling wholeheartedly at his pithy put-downs about the more lacklustre or ludicrous monikers darts players adopt. The book is peppered with fun, never-before-recorded anecdotes about darts players ranging from the ubiquitously famous (e.g. Eric Bristow, Phil Taylor) to more obscure players (such as Mark 'Walshy' Walsh - whose nickname, incidentally, gets short shrift from Hawaii 501!).

The quality of writing is head-and-shoulders above that found in most darts players' autobiographies, and the level of wit and sophistication in the prose is a real treat. There's real warmth and humour here, and you feel as though you're getting to know the real Wayne Mardle as you read through the book.

There's a lot of genuinely good, sound advice in the book too - and all of it served up in a way that never ceases to be entertaining.

I honestly couldn't put Slinging Arrows down. I devoured it within the space of two days and I never wanted the book to end. I've read a heck of a lot of darts books over the years and I'd rank Slinging Arrows up there with the best of them. If you're a fan of darts, you really ought to pick this book up. It's an absolute treat.

[Patrick Ellard · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent insight into life as a darts player. The writing style perfectly mirrors Mardles personality. You will undoubtedly enjoy it more if you are a darts fan but I'm sure general sports fans will enjoy it too.

[Jason Yates · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

[mark feenan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pleasantly surprised with this one. Not a big fan of Wayne on the telly but found this quite amusing.

[Joe Stephenson · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much fun. Was annoying to begin with.