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Losing the Atmosphere, A Memoir; A Baffling Disorder, a Search for Help, and the Therapist Who Understood.
Born in 1940s Brooklyn to a father prone to rages and an emotionally erratic mother, Vivian Conan grew up in two different worlds: Outside and Inside. Outside, she had friends, excelled in school, and was close to her cousins and brother. Inside, she saw faces that weren’t hers in her bedroom mirror and was surrounded by an invisible Atmosphere that bathed her in the love and understanding she craved. Moving between these worlds enabled Vivian to survive her childhood but limited her ability to live fully as an adult. To others, her life seemed rich with work, friends, music, and boyfriends. But her mind and soul were filled with chaos and pain. Neither she nor her therapists could figure out why.
Losing the Atmosphere is Vivian Conan’s riveting account of her journey toward self-understanding and wholeness; her encounters with a string of more and less helpful therapists; and her unconventional relationship with the therapist who was finally able to guide her through the courageous, messy work healing required.
Told with honesty, humor, and grace, Losing the Atmosphere is a never-too-late story about the growth possible for anyone with the guts to pursue it, and a testament to the redemptive power of love: not the perfect kind Vivian experienced in her imaginary world, but the imperfect kind that connects us, flawed human being to flawed human being, in the real world she lives in now.
Losing the Atmosphere is Vivian Conan’s riveting account of her journey toward self-understanding and wholeness; her encounters with a string of more and less helpful therapists; and her unconventional relationship with the therapist who was finally able to guide her through the courageous, messy work healing required.
Told with honesty, humor, and grace, Losing the Atmosphere is a never-too-late story about the growth possible for anyone with the guts to pursue it, and a testament to the redemptive power of love: not the perfect kind Vivian experienced in her imaginary world, but the imperfect kind that connects us, flawed human being to flawed human being, in the real world she lives in now.
450 pages, Audiobook
Published November 1, 2020
7 people are currently reading
1938 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
October 30, 2020
Vivian Conan's new book is a must-read. It's a story of self-understanding, strength, and resilience. It's also a story of keeping hope alive when presented with a baffling ailment and coming through it victoriously. She's a strong woman who has written a brilliant book.
June 21, 2024
This is a beautifully written memoir of living with and finding meaning and joy while living with a powerful mental illness. If you have any interest in mental health, mental illness, resilience, and courage, this book is a must-read. It is timeless.
September 12, 2021
I won this book! Thanks. The author is an amazingly intelligent and insightful person. With a little bit of help on her long journey she managed to basically find out, what is "wrong" with her. I highly recommend everyone to read her account, as with the times we live in many of us are already mentally drained - we might have friends who can't deal with what life throws at them really well, so this is for us to understand, also to assist the people close to us and be able to show some compassion. Thank you, Vivian, for your incredible bravery to tell your story.
November 24, 2020
Incredible, powerful, well written. Vivian did an outstanding job bring her life to written form so that others could benefit from what she has gone through. Her search to find out what was her mental issue is a one that many can relate to. Finding a good therapist that she could trust is a truism.
Her added problem of attachment disorder added to the trouble of finding out why she was the way she was.
A book that is hard to put down.
Her added problem of attachment disorder added to the trouble of finding out why she was the way she was.
A book that is hard to put down.
July 10, 2022
Deeply moving and beautifully articulated story. Highly recommend for all interested in DID and attachment trauma. I think this book will be very useful for anyone in the mental health field as well as social workers, foster and adoptive parents. Vivian gives a very detailed account of both the circumstances leading to attachment dissorders and the repair of that primary bond and the integral part it plays in human development.
As for those with DID and other similar disorders this book will be a life saver. Read bellow for my personal experience reading this story.
Great audio book 5/5.
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Thank you Vivian, Emily, Wendy, the babies, the one who yells at cars, the girl in the leaves and everyone else who contributed to this book.
My parts and I found catharsis and understanding in your story. It helped give words to many of our feelings and the experiences of younger parts. We are so thankful for your vulnerability and your talent for writing. It can be so difficult to find words to explain our DID experience when there is so little representations available.
You have done an exquisite job explaining the journey to understanding the young and non verbal parts of a system and how you were able to reach them.
We were diagnosed with DID 4 years ago and our body is 27. It’s so inspiring for us to read about your healing journey and how you relentlessly searched for the help you needed. I loved hearing about the bond you share with your therapist and the restorative work you did together.
I relate so much to the feeling of searching for a primary care giver and knowing part of you is adult but feeling the deep need of an infant. It’s so hard for us to allow ourself to express our needs. Your story is so hopeful and empowering.
I met you briefly at the infinite mind conference earlier this year. I told you I purchased your audio book but hadn’t been in the right headspace to read it yet. Well im so glad I was able to this week💜. As a fellow lover of audio books you picked a great reader👏🏼. Having an audio book helps all our parts be able to listen and understand more.
I hope you are doing well and we wish yall the best.💗
As for those with DID and other similar disorders this book will be a life saver. Read bellow for my personal experience reading this story.
Great audio book 5/5.
——-
Thank you Vivian, Emily, Wendy, the babies, the one who yells at cars, the girl in the leaves and everyone else who contributed to this book.
My parts and I found catharsis and understanding in your story. It helped give words to many of our feelings and the experiences of younger parts. We are so thankful for your vulnerability and your talent for writing. It can be so difficult to find words to explain our DID experience when there is so little representations available.
You have done an exquisite job explaining the journey to understanding the young and non verbal parts of a system and how you were able to reach them.
We were diagnosed with DID 4 years ago and our body is 27. It’s so inspiring for us to read about your healing journey and how you relentlessly searched for the help you needed. I loved hearing about the bond you share with your therapist and the restorative work you did together.
I relate so much to the feeling of searching for a primary care giver and knowing part of you is adult but feeling the deep need of an infant. It’s so hard for us to allow ourself to express our needs. Your story is so hopeful and empowering.
I met you briefly at the infinite mind conference earlier this year. I told you I purchased your audio book but hadn’t been in the right headspace to read it yet. Well im so glad I was able to this week💜. As a fellow lover of audio books you picked a great reader👏🏼. Having an audio book helps all our parts be able to listen and understand more.
I hope you are doing well and we wish yall the best.💗
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews