This book is one of the reasons why I believe stories are redeeming. Like food, second chances, bringing back to life a deadened heart.
I love this book intensely as if it has some kind of gravitational pull or hold on me that reminds me of it during times of feeling what I cannot put name to. Frame of reference stuff. I found that I love it more as time passes and the life it still lives in my mind takes its place beside some of the most important moments I've had (um or something I've just made into something big by over analysing it to death). The shaping stuff (or just breaking stuff). Some have said it's a "nothing happens" book but those would be the people who don't watch everything around them and turn it into big or little stories that turn into altering events when, really, not much had happened as anything but emotional stuff. If having your heart broken is nothing happened, sure, nothing happened.
I read years ago (closing in on a decade) a comment on amazon that described this book as the dark flip side of Dodie Smith's I Capture the Castle (that review led me to another favorite. Thank you, brilliant amazon user!). That's an excellent description. The dark side to noticing too much about the every day stuff. Hating being reminded of the trivial, of being forced to examine the increasingly sameness of the meaninglessness of every day. What if looking outward or inward was akin to a shark stopping his swim? (I'm unable to stop my own painful personal inventory taking, unfortunately.) With knowledge comes responsibility, or something. Portia has come to live with her half-brother, Thomas, and his wife, Anna, for a year out of obligation. They don't know what to do with her, and she doesn't know what to do with them other than watch and hope for some cue. They never do the right thing.
Portia has been keeping a diary to record her observations of life, with them. (I'm too pleased with myself now. Her diary says "I'm in London, with them" and Anna's snooty writer friend St. Quentin says that the comma is style.) (Bring forth the sharks!) Thomas and Anna were quite comfortable with their previous life. Portia is an intruder on that life with her reminder of the affair Thomas's father had, and reading Portia's diary makes Anna unable to forgive or forget those staring eyes that record everything she does, not in judgement, but matter of fact facts. She doesn't like the viewing.
Anna's boy toy buddy Eddie doesn't like the fit of playing entertaining monkey (or whatever else they want) for Anna's stylish crowd. He spies Portia standing innocently in the entrance, holding his hat, and that sparks his interest. He likes knowing nothing to pin his fantasy on (a reflection of himself, no doubt). Portia does not want anything from him, yet. Eddie hates and loves himself, and that pulls him apart. Poor Portia. She cannot see the playing part also feeds his ego as well as shames him.
They meet Col. Brut in the theatre (one of the things that they can take Portia to do. Teenagers in the early twentieth century did not have a market catered to them like today, this book brings home to me). Another reminder of a past Anna would rather forget. There was a passionate side with a former lover, unlike the expected lines of her marriage to Thomas. (Anna doesn't like to do anything she doesn't do well. It's no wonder that relationship failed.) The passage of Col. Brut long carried memory of his forever ago day, with Anna and her boyfriend, is heartbreaking. He fed off it as a light to warm the rest of his lonely life. Bowen's description of this scene is one of my favorites I've ever read. Col. Brut built them up into something they really weren't, as Portia did with Eddie. He didn't have a lot else to grasp in a world that has passed him completely by. Sometimes what we hold onto to get by is tenuous, at best. While we can have it, it is still worth something, like the price of bread to a starving man. Much of this book makes me pinpoint, "Ah, so that's how I felt". I couldn't begin to say how much Bowen's book means to me in that weight. I might inventory, but expressing it as well as Bowen? No way.
Another person that Thomas "inherited" was his mother's maid, Matchett. I loved Matchett's love of Thomas' hapless father (there was something noble about him, if ultimately spineless). I loved how she did the work for the sake of the work, and not to please anyone. (She says that the best work doesn't come out of those who do it to please you. This is true, and it is still true that employers want that kind anyway.) Her love of Portia is jealous and in secret (it is sad that she doesn't allow herself to have more). Bowen comes off as a snob in some biographries written about her. Some things I read made me sad indeed, but her care of Matchett belies that feeling. Matchett does love the work, and it is not a position to please anybody else. The rest is how we can fuck ourselves up with rules. It's one thing to build up love in your mind to get through, and then what next? Matchett does not have the courage to throw herself out there, as Portia did. One could argue that she knew better, was not innocent enough to do so, but if you don't do it sometime, when? One day you're eaten by a shark. I like to think she does finally allow more with Portia, in the end. It'd be the right thing.
Irene, Portia's mother, meant a lot to me as well. The happy life they had in hotels of watching all of the different people, and the lack of hiding that that breeded in Portia. I'd have missed it too. And, I do. It was sad and crazy and I'd love to hide in that fake world of travel more often.
Mrs. Quayne tossed her husband out because she liked herself to feel sorry for Irene. Elizabeth Bowen did not shy away from what people like to think about themselves. It's dangerous to think too much about yourself, too.
I hate Anna. My ex read this and really hated Eddie, Portia's almost boyfriend. I really hated Anna. Eddie is fucked up on how other's see him and what people want. Hers is the unthinking sharklife that resented Portia's innocent eye turned on her for she didn't want to think of herself in any other way that glib society life terms. This is a person I couldn't have been around. How Portia's eye disturbed her, I'd have been disturbed by the gloomy feeling that life is supposed to be like THAT. I cannot stomach the idea.
For a time, Portia is shipped off to the seaside to stay with Anna's former governness, and her children, like slutty Daphne. Thomas and his wife "flee" Portia. I hated them for that. I also related to Portia when the daughter Daphne views Portia with scornful disdain because she doesn't smoke and sleep around. I never, ever understood girls who lorded that over a young me as if they were more mature (I had experiences I didn't want. God forbid I was gonna succumb to pressure from pimply boys on top of it!). Bitchiness is not maturity. Give me a break.
I wanted very much to leap into the pages and take Portia out to the movies, and walks in the park. She'd have fared better with me by her side. I'd have told her straight out those people were stupid bitches and not to worry about them.
Something today made me think back again to The Death of the Heart in my trains of thought. It was something on if innocence is overrated or not, or at least considered too much an important fact. I won't get into an already jumbled review on why I was thinking about that. This book came to mind because of the line about Eddie and Portia's innocence forces combined devastating what it comes into contact with (Bowen's writing is, needless to say, 1000 miles leagues over the sea better than my sentence). Is innocence really that important? It's nothing but a lack of experience or knowledge. Does, for example, not having been in a relationship prepare you, or not, for starting one? Eddie wishes that Portia had been dumped before so she'd know how to behave (the idea that lots of breakups makes someone behave during another one is ludicrous. He wanted cool, society glib Anna). You're yourself, before an experience, and afterward. It's not destructive in of itself to not know what you are doing. Only if you live each and every day exactly as the one before it. I'm more interested in if it is too late. In the point of no return... Redemption. Portia was not a blank canvas, anyway. She just didn't know when to look away to make others comfortable. I still don't know that and no way am I an innocent.
I'm starting to think that I don't believe in coming of age stories that don't end in death. Of the heart? It's like Matchett, what she allowed herself to have. And Eddie, too messed up from what he thought others wanted. It doesn't have to be that way. You pick yourself up and move on because we are built of more than that. The ending is open, and I believe that is what happens. No death! No sharks.
Portia is thought of as one of those children that stare and see too much that you never knew what happened to them later. I feel like I'm one of those. I've got the staring problem down. I'm not very good at fixing my facial expressions to something less emotional. I guess I would really recommend this book to people who have staring problems. You'd really get Portia. I wouldn't recommend it for someone who doesn't watch people and see stories everywhere. Reading too much into everything is a requirement.
I've read most of Bowen's other works, and found something in all of them. The Death of the Heart is the only book this close to my heart, though. Relevance to me personally, this is it, the book. (The Last September was my first, and it is beautiful. I couldn't, however, feel sorry for them losing their way of life.)
I'm still waiting for someone to arrive and do the right thing for me...