Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship

by David Schnarch, James Maddock

In this remarkable book, Dr. David Schnarch, world-renowned sex and marital therapist and author of Passionate Marriage, offers a groundbreaking approach to resolving sexual difficulties and the relationship problems they cause. By showing couples how they can turn their worst sex and relationship disasters into personal growth and spiritual connection, Dr. Schnarch offers couples the best sex of their lives. In addition to taking an unflinchingly honest, realistic, and erotic approach to sex, Dr. Schnarch reveals the complicated emotional interactions hidden within couples' most private moments. Resurrecting Sex speaks of compassion, partnership, generosity, and integrity in adult sexual relationships, offering hope to millions of people who are struggling with sexual difficulties. Uplifting, provocative, and heartfelt, the book is organized into four Resurrecting Sex addresses all major sexual issues, including male erection problems such as rapid orgasm and delayed orgasm; women's problems with arousal and lubrication, difficulty reaching orgasm, and low desire; full coverage of Viagra (for both men and women); and other sex-enhancing drugs and medical options. Rather than dwelling on sexual techniques, this sympathetic book shows how to cure the rejection, hostility, and emotional alienation that often accompany sexual problems. Its unique method helps couples develop the love, affection, and commitment that prevent divorce and strengthen families.

Genres: Sexuality, Psychology, Marriage, Relationships, Self Help, Nonfiction

336 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 2002

About the author

David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of numerous books and articles on intimacy, sexuality, and relationships. He is the Director of the Crucible® Institute and his work has attracted clients and students from across the globe. His book Passionate Marriage is a perennial bestseller, offering the general public his revolutionary approach in a pragmatic and easy-to-understand form.

Reviews

[Zhivko Kabaivanov · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resurrecting Sex (2002) is a guidebook for couples struggling to connect intimately and emotionally due to sexual dysfunction.

It offers a holistic approach to addressing these issues – and to exploring the erotic potential of your relationship.

[Barbara Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was curious to cross-reference Nicole Daedone's "Orgasmic Meditation" technique with this highly-praised work. Well, to begin with, this book is quite different in nature as it places a greater emphasis on curing male sexual issues. I was a little skeptical at first, given the fact that Dr. Schnarch devotes about 15 pages to praising himself and his own work, and all while promising grand miracles in the style of a television ad. However, when delving into the actual text I was amazed at how the promises live up to their expectations. The work's style and techniques do in fact revolutionize your view of sexual issues, introducing techniques that completely rework your perception of sex and take away the stress and stress-related issues out of it in both partners. It also discusses pills, techniques, etc. that gradually eliminate a variety of problems. The author especially places a heavy emphasis on trust and openness between the two partners, which not only helps to cure sexual issues but also strengthens the relationship. Similarly, unlike most academic texts Dr. Schnarch actually gives you simple, applicable and working solutions to each sexual problem. What also blew me away was how the work casts into doubt other well-established sexual therapies. For example, while being quite taken with Daedone's "Orgasmic Meditation" (which sources note has also had a remarkable success for many couples), reading this work made it very clear that such a technique is but a temporary solution and in the long run breaks down the essential intimacy between a couple. Overall, "Resurrecting Sex" is a highly repetitive and long-winded text, and many times I was tempted to leave it. However, its depth had me coming back for more. Structure aside I felt it a highly rewarding read. To get the most out of it I would recommend reading several sexual "therapies" alongside it to be able to comprehend the unique simplicity and utter genius of this work. Similarly, if you and/or your partner face(s) sexual issues and anxiety, this would most likely be one of the best texts you can reference in order make a difference in your sex life.

[Gino · Rating 4 out of 5]

Valuable lessons.

[Sheila Cameron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good information.

[Nripesh Ayer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book to read after reading Passionate Marriage. You understanding and working of human sexuality and intimate relationships is not only interesting to read but helpful in our own life.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting with a lot of medical, psychological and practical information

[Stephanie "Jedigal"]

Okay, I did NOT finish this book. It had a suggestion that people in a crisis stage start kind of in the middle-ish, so I did that, and then after I covered the "crisis" part (not labeled as such), I went back to the beginning. I liked some of the concepts from what I DID manage to get finished, but the approach here is presented fairly technically. I'm pretty bright, and you don't just grasp what the author is getting at right away. I switched to more "easy" material that I could get through quicker. The important thing to me was to start helping my marriage quickly.

One thing I DID like though was the whole concept of self-soothing, and not expecting your partner to make things better. That we run into trouble in conversations because our goal is not always clear communication, but we want to feel comfortable and not rock the boat. (Note - chaos may feel comfortable for some..., this is about the patterns in a relationship.) Anyway, I still think this would be great for someone who is feeling patient enough to get through it.

[Ina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished the book with an impression that the author got to his suggestions through somewhat of a winding process and so his explanations seemed at times as similarly elusive and difficult to pin down. I think in the world of self-help books, there are easier and more accessible texts on relationships and communication. However, the book does have a very endearing tone to it and the advice is nonetheless sound and helpful. So despite the specific writing style, I do give it my full backing. I like it when a book about relationships gives mental health consistent suggestions (e.g. taking ownership of your own feelings) in order to build a better relationship, instead of using common-sense yet harmful suggestions (e.g. hide your feelings so you'd be more mysterious and desirable). This book gives the former type of advice, which I really appreciate about it. Overall, good book on sex and relationship troubles.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought twice about posting this, but quickly said what the fuck. After 19 years of marriage, what couple wouldn't need some rejuvenation! Don't expect a review after I read it however....

I just can't seem to get thru this book. I bought his first...Passionate Marriage. I'll give that a shot and maybe come back to this one.

[Fairlyfeisty Dragonwagon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I much preferred Passionate Marriage.

[Adam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely worth reading for clinicians if you like Schnarch's approach. I'd first recommend his other books though, especially for the general public.