Fathers, Brothers, and Sons: Surviving Anguish, Abandonment, and Anthrax

by Frank Bello

Frank Bello is an American musician, most notable as bassist for the legendary thrash metal band Anthrax. On hiatus from Anthrax, he briefly performed with Helmut, but he has appeared on every Anthrax release since 1985. He lives in New York.

As bassist with the legendary New York thrash metal band Anthrax since 1984, he has sold over ten million albums, travelled the globe more times than he cares to count, and enthralled audiences from the world’s biggest stages. His long-awaited memoir would be a gripping read even if its pages only contained stories about his life as a recording and touring musician. While those stories are indeed included - and will blow your mind - Bello also focuses on deeper subjects in Fathers, Brothers, And Sons. Once you’ve heard his life story, you’ll understand why.

Born into a family of five, Frank grew up in difficult circumstances. His father abandoned his wife and children, and Frank’s mother moved heaven and earth to keep them fed and educated. Left with no male role model, Frank found inspiration in heavy metal bass players, following their example and forging a career with Anthrax from his early teens―first as a roadie, and then as the group’s bass player.

International stardom came Frank’s way by the mid-to-late 1980s, when he was still in his early twenties, but tragedy struck in 1996 when his brother Anthony was murdered in New York. Although the case went to trial, the suspected killer was released without charge after a witness, intimidated by violent elements, withdrew his testimony.

Two decades later, Frank is a father himself to a young son. Like many men who grew up without the guidance of a dad, he asks himself important questions about the meaning of fatherhood and how to do the job well. This is the wisdom which Fathers, Brothers, And Sons offers readers.

Despite the emotive nature of these topics, Fathers, Brothers, And Sons is a funny, entertaining read. A man with a keen sense of humor and the perspective to know how surreal his story has been, Frank doesn’t preach or seek sympathy in his book. Instead, he simply passes on the wisdom gained from a lifetime of turbulence, paying tribute to his loved ones in a way that will resonate with us all.

Joel McIver is the bestselling author of Justice for All: The Truth About Metallica, which has been translated into nine languages, and several other books.

Genres: Music, Nonfiction, Biography

Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 2021

Reviews

[Armand Rosamilia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a huge Anthrax fan. I met Frank many, many years ago in Brooklyn at L'Amour and he was nice and personable. A real cool guy with his fans. This book about his life is that and more, a guy who came from nothing and did well for himself. Growth as a person, too, which was great. His life lessons are nice, and his recollections about the endless tours, the small details about being a musician... all of it was great to read.

[Rev · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been a fan musically of Frank's since the late 80s. Every album I have cherished and every show I have attended, even a few out of state. They were important to me for they had a fire that set them apart from the others. The energy thrown from their stage is fierce and guaranteed to make you a fan if you weren't before. But I digress the reason I am writing this is to review Frank's book.
I've had the pleasure of meeting Frank twice and he made me feel like a friend not just a fan. He had a genuine interest in me which is unique when meeting your idol. I will always remember the look and his heartfelt response when I said "thank you for the 30 years of inspiration." So when I read his book, I realized not only is he the same great down to earth guy I met, but he is putting his heart on his sleeve to not just say here is my life but let me help you any way I can with yours. Some great insight and thoughtful introspection, I can honestly say I now know Frank. And as he mentions in this book, when he met Gene Simmons and Steve Harris and how they treated him, you can see not just from meeting him, but also reading his book, that he strives to do the same in his life...to make a fan feel important. And as he says life is short so do the things that mean something to you and if you like music, love to read and want an honest and inspiring book, this one is for you. koobnikcufesin Cheers to you Frank!

[Marlana Williams]

Well, here it is! My weivernikufesin!

I already knew I was going to love this book. I've been waiting for it for 33 years, as a budding, young Anthrax fan, then following the Frankie's career as he migrated to other projects musically, and even as an actor. He always seemed aloof, sometimes-moody, goofy, emotional, yet very grounded when it came to taking care of his finances and his family. In fact, he seemed so unattainable when I was lucky enough to meet the band (twice), getting attention from Scott and Joey as hospitable representatives of Anthrax. The best I got from Frank was his autograph on the CD cover of Among The Living, who asked for my name. I gave it, he stopped and looked at me and said, "Marlana?... that's beautiful."

*faint*

But about the book...

Here's what you will not find: mudslinging. Forget it. Frank does not waste time dishing dirt on people. You learn that with every page you turn that his ride in life is all about fun, family, and for all of us to try to be better people each day. He has terrific respect for some people, and with others, only potential respect. No regrets, and glad to have had every opportunity to have most of the encounters he's had in his life. This is very much the opposite of Scott Ian's I'm the Man: The Story of That Guy from Anthrax where insult-comedy seemed to be the theme, especially upon former bandmates that Scott feels he no longer has to keep quiet about such as Neil Turbin or Dan Spitz. Frank simply does not take a page from Ian's book (literally and figuratively).

What you also won't find, disappointingly: old photos! Frank fills the center-insert with 36 photos. There is only one old black and white of him and Charlie as children (yet doesn't mention the year it was taken), and that's it. The rest are "Frank-with" photos (many of his own proud moments meeting others such as Lady Gaga and Lemmy, and many others, mentioned in the book of course). Several shots of him in action with Anthrax in the last 15 years...but sadly no early days. Very few personal photos. Try 5/36 and they're of other people. No pictures of his wedding day. No pictures of the house he grew up in. No graduation photo. Frank either didn't want to, or didn't think his fans cared to have a little more Frank. We do! But quickly.. you realize Frank guards a lot of his past if it didn't involve Anthrax, aside from the few times he mentions of home life with his grandmother, and upfront says he will not mention names of certain people (notably an old bully and a former girlfriend).

What you will find: Fanboyism. Frank is no different than any young fan talking about some famous folks he's met over the years, with wide-eyed enthusiasm. With every name he drops (and oh yes, he'll drop dozens of them), each person made an impact, and each person nearly made him want to crap his pants with glee upon meeting. You'll read what he feels is important about being a dad, and less about his love life. The relationship he has with his son gets more mention than the few sentences he gives about his wife. Likely because Frank knows where to draw the line on his privacy out of respect for his marriage.

What you will also find: time. This is a short read. It took me not even 5 hours to read, all within a few moments each time over a two-day period. You're in for mostly a fun book, but as most Anthrax fans know, there are heartbreaks and bad news that won't surprise you along the way. What's important is the Frank that we are left with today, who gives mid-life insight on how to handle hardships as he's had experience with several.

I chose to leave this book unrated as I'm biased. I've been an Anthrax fan since 1988 when I was 14 years-old when bought Antisocial at a mall record store, deciding I had had enough of top 40 metal. I knew there was something more out there, and I was right. That album, bought on a whim, opened the doors to just about everything else I hadn't heard of before. Music that radio just didn't play, and even indie-stations tried to avoid. However, while I'm glad to have been able to step into Frank's life for a little while with this book, I hope we can get more books out of Joey, Charlie, and Dan. (At least, that's the lineup that I preferred and am still a fan of.)

[Jason Weber · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars
I wish it was a little longer, but Frank’s story is a good one! If you are an Anthrax fan (who isn’t?) this is a must read!

[Gareth Houghtonio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anthrax was the first metal band I ever got into, and Sound of White Noise was the first metal album I ever bought. It's been my favourite album ever since. So with Anthrax being my first band, that means Frank was the first metal bassist I knew of and is still my favourite.

I've seen the band live more than any other band except for Motörhead, and it's always a pleasure to watch Frank doing his thing. He has so much energy, running and jumping around like a maniac, and you can see he's giving 100% and having the time of his life every single time. So I was excited to hear about this book and I couldn't wait to read it to find out more about him and hear about Anthrax from his perspective.

I've never met Frank, but from word of mouth and seeing him in interviews, he seems like a cool and decent guy, and that's how he comes across in this book too. He's very open and honest about his life. He speaks about how he was affected by tragedies and how he overcame them, from his father leaving, being bullied at school, and the senseless murder of his brother. He speaks about his faults and how he strives to become a better person. He talks a about the history of Anthrax, tells some hilarious road stories, and gives advice from his own life lessons.

The book reads like Frank is actually having a conversation with you, which I imagine would be cool in real life, because this guy has lots of stories. It isn't filled with debauchery and sex and drugs, it's about a regular down to earth guy who doesn't have an oversized rock-star ego, who never refuses to sign an autograph because he remembers what it's like to be a fan and how it feels to be acknowledged by your heroes.

Frank is cool. This book is cool. Read it. Also listen to his song Pieces, which was originally a hidden track on the Volume 8: The Threat is Real record. It's a beautiful song and deserves to be heard by more people.

[Chris McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. I love a good rock or metal memoir, and I'm a huge Anthrax fan. I've also read Scott Ian's 2 books (guitarist in Anthrax for those who don't know). This book was a quick read, written in a very conversational, northeast Italian vernacular. I know a million guys who talk like this, I may even be a guy who talks like this. Bello covers the music, but he also covers some deep, emotional ground as well; he comes across as a hugely likable guy, someone you can easily root for. Side note, I met him at the bar at Birch Hill (Old Bridge, NJ) after a show once, and he was exactly the guy he is trying to be in this book. He was friendly, warm and gracious and we had a nice interaction.

[Nathan Waddell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a poster of this guy on my wall as a kid... I had a whole wall of metal dudes, but Anthrax's Persistence of Time was (and still is) one of my favourite albums. The bass sound on that album! I have never understood why every other metal band hasn't tried to blatantly steal it.... and don't forget Frank's solo in Got The Time!
Anyways. No one doubts this man can play bass. Can he write books? Absolutely! At least for the specific audience who grew up listening to Anthrax. I've read a lot of metal memoirs now, and am hungry for more, but where this one stands out a bit is his focus on what it means to be abandoned by one's fathers and how that affects one's approach to fatherhood. Spoiler alert- it mostly involves working hard at it.
Cheers Frank, I hope you read this and know how much you mean to me and my generation. Little heart emoji, which I don't know how to make on this keyboard. <3

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I've been an Anthrax fan since 1989, when I first saw them in concert at Hammersmith Odeon. Since then, I have seen the band live many times and Frank Bello always brings lots of enthusiasm and passion to his performances. I've seen many of the band's interviews over the years, so when reading the book it was easy to imagine Frank speaking and saying all of the stuff in the book. At the start of the book Frank says that he wanted it to be like a conversation between him and the reader over a cup of coffee or a beer, and it really does come across like that. Frank and his co-writer Joel McIver have done a great job, bringing all of Frank's memories alive and presenting the book in a way that is both compulsive and entertaining reading.

The foreword is written by Gene Simmons from Kiss and it's a great introduction to what is to come. The relationship between Frank and Gene started off with Frank being a bit of an annoying fan of Kiss who used to follow them everywhere, but it has since grown, and there is now a mutual appreciation that comes across.

The one thing that stands out when reading Frank's story is how he is very down to earth, and unlike many artists—especially artists as successful as he is—there is no ego problem. He appreciates that without fans he wouldn't be where he is and his gratitude is evident in the way he writes his story. His story demonstrates that the band have never taken anything for granted and always strive to produce the best music they can, seeing the relationship between bands and fans as a two way street.

The chapters that reflect on Frank's time in Anthrax make interesting reading. Although I knew a lot about the band, being a long-time fan, I learned a lot too; for example, how close they were with other bands that they toured with. Some of the stories of the antics on tour are fun to read.

But the book is not all about Frank's experience as a bassist in Anthrax, it also has a great deal of content about his personal life. His early life was far from easy and he has written his story with honesty and wisdom. We learn that one of the reasons he wrote the book was to help others and to talk about life lessons he has learned that he can pass on. He has certainly had a lot of experiences that many will relate to and perhaps find some inspiration or comfort from.

Another stand out thing from this book is the theme of tragedy that runs through it. Franks talks about his own mental health struggles when his younger brother was murdered and does so in a very open and honest way. He recollects other losses and how his experiences have made him live his life differently. He definitely has a great deal of wisdom to pass on with this book.

Frank Bello's love of music comes across from page one, and any music fan will instantly feel a connection when reading about his obsession with bands and music. One thing I learned from this book was that as well as being a musician, Frank has also trained as an actor. I wasn't aware that he had serious aspirations to be an actor alongside his musical career. His stories relating to that are very interesting.

"Fathers, Brothers, and Sons" is the story of a music lover who became a famous musician and has somehow managed to keep his feet on the ground. Frank comes across as fun-loving and sensible at the same time. It's a touching and honest account of a man's journey through life from childhood to fatherhood. Frank has had to deal with many tragic and heartbreaking events, however, he has endeavoured with this book to pass on some of the lessons he has learned from the ups and downs. It makes entertaining, thought-provoking reading.

If you are an Anthrax fan, this is a must-read book, but generally I think it would also be of interest to a wider audience. Frank Bello has a story to tell and his life lessons are well worth reading.

[Frank · Rating 3 out of 5]

Frank Bello's biography is the whirlwind story of the Anthrax bassist's life. And I do mean whirlwind. Fathers, Brothers and Sons is one part biography, one part life lessons and one part stories about meeting celebrities. That about what the book boils down to.

Earlier this year I read Scott Ian's bio, I'm The Man. If what you're looking for by picking up this book is a behind the scenes history of the band Anthrax, you'd do better to read Scott Ian's book. Ian's book has a lot more detail where this book really skims over the highlights of Anthrax's career but is almost lacking in the stories behind the history. Even milestones in Bello's personal life seem glossed over and lack details.

This book reads more like Bello trying to divvy out life lessons. This is how I was successful and so if you want that kind of success, you can do it this way also. Which is nice and all, but I don't think its really why anyone would pick up this book at this point. But, on the same token, if you read this because you're an Anthrax fan and have read Scott Ian's book at least you won't get a total rehash of stuff that's already been talked about.

If you want a good book about Anthrax, read I'm The Man. If you want a book about one of your favorite metal bassists, then pick up Frank Bello's Fathers, Brothers and Son. You'll learn more about him than Scott Ian could ever tell you.

[J.R. Murdock · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting way to share a life story

I've been an Anthrax Fan since the very early days. After reading Scott Ian's book, I knew I had to pick up Frank's. I mean, I'm a bassist after all. Of course I knew this book was coming.

During his book tour, virtual book tour, I got to ask a couple of questions and Frank never had forced or practiced answers. He came across as gentle and genuine. He appreciate all the questions and had a great time talking with the host even if there were only a few of us watching.

To the book! As I mentioned, I'd read Scott Ian's book which is a wildly different perspective than Frank's. I was expecting it to be so different, but Frank has a very different story telling style. There are a few rambles and side stories while presenting his main point and he works family, the most important thing to him, into all his stories.

You might think, based on the title, that it's a tragic tale. There are tragic stories and low points, but Frankie never gave up on his vision and always kept moving forward.

Are you and Anthrax fan? Then this book is one you need to pick up and devour!

[Southshoreak · Rating 4 out of 5]

As we get older, we're told "never meet your heroes." THAT DOES NOT APPLY HERE. I've been an Anthrax fan for 25 years. I've been smashed up against the stage while Frank jammed out "Got the Time". In this book, I felt like I got to know who Frank Bello is. He tells a story early in the book about meeting Steve Harris of Iron Maiden as a starstruck teenager, where Steve had the class to invite a bunch of kids to stop staring and just join him at his table. This book feels a little like that - like Frank saw you at a bar one night, ordered a beer for each of you, and told you his life story. It's not an album-by-album recount of the Anthrax back catalog. For as every mention of the band, there's easily as much about his childhood, his grandmother, his wife, his son, and the musicians he admires. I finished this book happy to know more about Frank Bello.

[Jennifer Galgano Dumaresq · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start this review by saying that grew up a huge Frank Bello fan, I planned to marry him. I even had a chocolate lab named Frank (we just had to put him to sleep Nov 30 😔) Haha After reading his book I have a lot of respect for him, he's honest and humble and really has great determination. You don't need to be an Anthrax or heavy metal fan to appreciate this book.
I'll end it with saying we would would have made a terrible couple since our lives are so scarily similiar. 😉 I was shocked to read how much alike we are and how parallel our lives are.
It's an easy read, I highly suggest it.

[Scott Delgado · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I first started this, I thought, "OK. He's repeating himself a lot. I got it. Strong women. Hard life. OK." But it quickly evolved into more than a follow-my-way-of-thinking-and-your-life-will-be great. When I see or hear guys from New York, they usually have this tough guy aura around them and brag a lot. While Bello does say "Yuge" a lot, he seems like a damn fine guy who is very in touch with his emotions and loves his family and friends. Hell, I want to be he friend after reading this. I loved his stories of meeting his musical heroes when he was a kid and how kindly he speaks of everyone. This was a pleasant read.

[Joe Colorado · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great autobiography by Frank Bello of Anthrax. It's written in a very accessible style, like you are having a conversation with Frank. Tons of interesting information, such as he and his friend sneaking into KISS's recording studio and running into Gene Simmons (who wrote the foreward), to the crazy tour with Pantera and the alcohol-fueled mayhem with Dimebag and the black tooth grin.
There are more somber moments as well, such as growing up without a father, and the murder of his brother Anthony.
If you are interested in the history of Anthrax or just what it's like to be a rock star, I highly recommend!

[Shan]

I wouldn't say I am the biggest Anthrax fan but enjoy their music and life philosophy. This book was good but focused solely on Frank's life, only skimming over the history of Anthrax. For the better Anthrax history, I would recommend Scott Ian's book I Am The Man (great book!). Bello seems to be a good guy but I find it pretty unbelievable that all the band people he toured with were so nice (like Frank says)... Nope, not buying that.
I do have to give kudos to Frank for reminding me of the Married...With Children episode again. Had to halt my reading and watch that gem again. Hil-ar-ious!
If you're a big Anthrax fan, you would prob like this book. If not, skip it.

[Iosiv Basarab · Rating 4 out of 5]

quite interesting memoir of a metalhead, well-written and uncovering some yet unknown aspects and stories; what I missed, however, were some insights into the business side of music, as I can't really understand how could a band fire their singer "for businnes reasons" and get him back some years later

[Mike Langford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Introspection is in very short supply in the world of rock n roll, but Frankie digs deep here, giving the reading a look inside both the brightest and darkest corners of his mind. There are plenty of road tales, but there's also a ton about the work he's done on himself over the years to move on from his wilder years. A quick, easy read that's entertaining throughout.

[Freddie Cassara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Read

Picked this up as a guy who grew up near Frank. Enjoyed hearing stories about the neighborhood, local people, and of course, his rise to fame. Also sad to read about his brother, whom i was in high school with. Happy for the success of a local guy. Now I’m getting back into the Anthrax material.

[jim perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read.

Awesome Book by Frankie. Couldn't put it down and didn't want it to end. If you're a fan of Anthrax or of Frank's, don't hesitate to give this book your time. Thanks for the great read and all the amazing music.

[Jeffrey S. Kuehn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great story of young struggles in life to meeting heroes who inspire him to be the best. Not only in music but as family and a friend. A quick read that lets you experience these highs, lows, and highs again. Great read not just for Anthrax fans but anyone.

[xxBooksILovexx · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book by Frank Bello. Anyone who is a fan of Anthrax should definitely give this a listen. Frank opens up about so much of his life & experiences with his bandmates. Frank did an awesome job narrating as well!

[David Dewata · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sebenarnya ini bacaan yang menyenangkan namun Bello sepertinya gamang mau cerita perjalanan karir, kehidupan pribadi, atau Anthrax. Tapi setidaknya dia cukup terbuka cerita pengalaman hidupnya. Patut dibaca penggemar Anthrax.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this, it reads very much like sitting down with Frank and having a chat over a beer/cup of tea. I would've liked a little more insight into Joey leaving, the John Bush years and then Joey returning but overall it's a really good, informative and entertaining read.

4.5 stars.

[Nat · Rating 2 out of 5]

A honest accounting of his family situation. He was open about his feeling for his dad. But I have tough time believing that every musician/ band he dealt with was so wonderful. Felt like we got half a story.

[Victoria Dall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful! Frank shares stories in his life, fun ones, sad ones, all kinds! Definitely recommend if you love Anthrax, reading, or just Frank in general 😩

[Michael Tyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Killer Bio

Very cool book, the way it's written is as if you are sitting at a table and Frank is telling you his story.

[Shaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

❤️thank you frank!!!!

[Dinga05 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this little gem of a book. Very inspiring and uplifting!

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Frank’s story. This is a must for anthrax fans. I think I want to go crank up among the living.🤘

[Tom Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a big Anthrax fan in my early teens. This was a good listen.