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Bill of the Dead #3
Carnage À Trois
ONE GEEK VERSUS A LETHAL LOVE TRIANGLE.
Bill Ryder’s past and present are about to collide. His girlfriend’s been marked for death by the immortal temptress who wants him. One’s a witch and the other’s a vampire, which means the chances of them talking out their problems over tea are slim to none.
It’s bad enough Bill’s too distracted by evil leprechauns and redneck werewolves to put a stop to it, but now something massive has been spotted prowling the waters of the Hudson – a harbinger of biblical proportions, forewarning of dark times to come.
With a tidal wave of chaos closing in, Bill will need to choose between his friends, his feelings, and the fate of the world. Sadly, there’s little hope of saving everyone he holds dear from the carnage that’s about to punch him and his love life right in the moby dick.
Bill Ryder’s past and present are about to collide. His girlfriend’s been marked for death by the immortal temptress who wants him. One’s a witch and the other’s a vampire, which means the chances of them talking out their problems over tea are slim to none.
It’s bad enough Bill’s too distracted by evil leprechauns and redneck werewolves to put a stop to it, but now something massive has been spotted prowling the waters of the Hudson – a harbinger of biblical proportions, forewarning of dark times to come.
With a tidal wave of chaos closing in, Bill will need to choose between his friends, his feelings, and the fate of the world. Sadly, there’s little hope of saving everyone he holds dear from the carnage that’s about to punch him and his love life right in the moby dick.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 24, 2021
64 people are currently reading
63 people want to read
About the author
Rick Gualtieri
88 books765 followersRick Gualtieri loves to write adventure, mayhem, and snarky dialogue. His bestselling Tome of Bill series combines all of this into a world of supernatural danger with hard-hitting action and plenty of sharp-tongued geeky humor.
Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.
Defilers beware!
Email: rickg.author@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/RickGualtieriAuthor
Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.
Defilers beware!
Email: rickg.author@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/RickGualtieriAuthor
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 30, 2021
CARNAGE A TROIS is the third novel in the Bill of the Dead series. I have a great fondness for this irreverant geek centric urban fantasy series that is halfway between THE DRESDEN FILES and BIG BANG THEORY for its poor antiheroes. It even reminds me a bit of JOHN DIES AT THE END for just how "bad" our heroes are for saving the world.
Bill is the Freewill and, once more, an unholy abomination against the gods sort of. Magic has returned to the world and he's trying to stay ahead of it. He has a beloved daughter, a hot witch girlfriend, and other things that make him actually care. Unfortunately, he's also being stalked by a teenage Mongol warlord and her army of Neo-Vampires. Did we mention there's a bunch of kaiju in this book? Like a bunch? That too.
This is a very battle-heavy centric book and reminds me a lot of BATTLE GROUNDS by Jim Butcher, at least the latter half of the book. I admit, I would have preferred more Sally Sunrise (long story), Bill, and the original group but some really good twists and turns happen around here. I've always liked the lower key Bill stories and there's quite a bit of fun to be had just following him try to deal with the increasing madness following him.
While I did have some issues with this book, particularly the increasing escalation versus just letting Bill deal with his "normal" life, I had a lot of fun and will be continuing to buy everything done by RIck Gualtieri in this world. I enjoy the spin offs every bit as much as the original series.
Bill is the Freewill and, once more, an unholy abomination against the gods sort of. Magic has returned to the world and he's trying to stay ahead of it. He has a beloved daughter, a hot witch girlfriend, and other things that make him actually care. Unfortunately, he's also being stalked by a teenage Mongol warlord and her army of Neo-Vampires. Did we mention there's a bunch of kaiju in this book? Like a bunch? That too.
This is a very battle-heavy centric book and reminds me a lot of BATTLE GROUNDS by Jim Butcher, at least the latter half of the book. I admit, I would have preferred more Sally Sunrise (long story), Bill, and the original group but some really good twists and turns happen around here. I've always liked the lower key Bill stories and there's quite a bit of fun to be had just following him try to deal with the increasing madness following him.
While I did have some issues with this book, particularly the increasing escalation versus just letting Bill deal with his "normal" life, I had a lot of fun and will be continuing to buy everything done by RIck Gualtieri in this world. I enjoy the spin offs every bit as much as the original series.
October 20, 2021
5 stars for the series, with me probably rating this final chapter (ahem) a little over 4 stars but still starry enough for top billing!
As usual, Rick Gualtieri has delivered an AMAZING urban fantasy book that will not only tax your brain pudding while you try to keep up with its complexity but will also have you snortling out loud at all the funny bits. And there are a lot of both things, meaning there's a lot of stuff that was confusing as hell but also just so spot on in terms of the characters and the sense of humor they brought to the table. Or walls they smashed into regularly or sewers or whatever. If you have a better metaphor, go pick it up at IKEA and let me know.
There was, again, so very much happening in this book and I'm not entirely sure I've been able to get it all figured out to my satisfaction. I know that I felt - no, not cheated, don't be silly - but less than satisfied at how some folks did or didn't appear much or even if they did how they did or didn't meet their (un)timely doom. And yes, I understand that if they had the book would have been twice as long and pacing would have suffered yada yada yada. And okay, granted, that one tiny scene with Dave made up for a LOT of my frustrations but still. I will say this: for the next damn book I read from RG's collection, I'm doing what I wish I'd done here and keep a small notebook to jot down all the monstrosities we run across just for a bit more transparency. Heck, if said author wanted to include a glossary of same next time, I wouldn't disagree with that strategy, especially after I gave up once the sewer rat-spider thingies showed up...
But now that the awkward small talk is over, let's review the book shall we? The things I really really liked in "Carnage à Trois" included as always the great characterizations, the fantastic dialogue that fit each and every one of these players perfectly, and just the terrific, mucho ha-ha's. That's all a bit redundant as I've said this about every book in the Universe of Bill (tm pending) that I've read, noting I still have ALL the novellas left to tackle, too!
This time though what is added to the mix is a - not convoluted, no… hang on, let me get the thesaurus site up - ok, here we go: AN intricate plot that will literally blow your socks off. As well as maybe a good deal of your face if you're standing too close when things start going KABOOM. Seriously, it's been a while since I've had to SLOW DOWN my reading just to stop and let things get absorbed before moving on. Because in this one you need to keep track of what has gone on before - in this book, in this trilogy and as well as the books before it! - and still pay attention to every detail of what's getting ready to pop up in front of you! Don't blink or you'll miss someone gettin' et!
What was less than el perfecto to me is that naturally with SO MUCH going on, a lot of things were not entirely left by the wayside but also didn't get top-billing … which isn't fair either, so let's just say I felt some bits didn't get as much air-time as I wish they had, which is just me being redundant and repeating myself, too. Look, I'm doing my best here not to give away any spoilers - the largest of which is presented in the epilogue and the bits after the epilogue - but I still have so many questions.
For example, for all the trouble she caused, Gan did not appear nearly enough for my tastes nor expectations in this book. Why, I'm not sure, maybe it just didn't fit. Also the Deliverance Werewolves should have / could have been featured - or definitely explained more - without doubt. I could name some other examples that I "think" (which strikes me a lot like ass/u/me in this case) will be clarified more if and when the opportunity arises. Maybe a lot of it is just silly stuff but I find myself asking:
- What were Kelly and Vincent really up to? Was an extended booty call really the reason they went "missing"? Color me suspicious (which I believe is similar to teal in hue)!
- What is the deal with Ed's nervousness about Kara? Is it just cold feet or is this where he has some kind of epiphany about Sally? I didn't get that at all!
- Speaking of Sally, well yeah, we should probably speak about Sally. But not here (glances left and right nervously), it's not safe!
- And where is Ed's step-dad? Survivalists don't just fade away like that kids! Not when there's serious shootin' to be done!
- And we've got a werewolf spy in the apartment where the "New Kids of the Coven" are crashed out, what's up with that? This also totally ignores all the things I want to know about those fish dudes that never really got enough of their due. And don't get me started about the rabid, face-eating leprechauns (bastards are always after me lucky charms... no, wait, that's backwards...)!
So, yes, in conclusion, I'm a little bitch. It's not my fault these GREAT stories make me want so much more, but there you have it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check out more of RG's collection because this is just plain fantastic reading! Join us, meatsacks, if you dare!
As usual, Rick Gualtieri has delivered an AMAZING urban fantasy book that will not only tax your brain pudding while you try to keep up with its complexity but will also have you snortling out loud at all the funny bits. And there are a lot of both things, meaning there's a lot of stuff that was confusing as hell but also just so spot on in terms of the characters and the sense of humor they brought to the table. Or walls they smashed into regularly or sewers or whatever. If you have a better metaphor, go pick it up at IKEA and let me know.
There was, again, so very much happening in this book and I'm not entirely sure I've been able to get it all figured out to my satisfaction. I know that I felt - no, not cheated, don't be silly - but less than satisfied at how some folks did or didn't appear much or even if they did how they did or didn't meet their (un)timely doom. And yes, I understand that if they had the book would have been twice as long and pacing would have suffered yada yada yada. And okay, granted, that one tiny scene with Dave made up for a LOT of my frustrations but still. I will say this: for the next damn book I read from RG's collection, I'm doing what I wish I'd done here and keep a small notebook to jot down all the monstrosities we run across just for a bit more transparency. Heck, if said author wanted to include a glossary of same next time, I wouldn't disagree with that strategy, especially after I gave up once the sewer rat-spider thingies showed up...
But now that the awkward small talk is over, let's review the book shall we? The things I really really liked in "Carnage à Trois" included as always the great characterizations, the fantastic dialogue that fit each and every one of these players perfectly, and just the terrific, mucho ha-ha's. That's all a bit redundant as I've said this about every book in the Universe of Bill (tm pending) that I've read, noting I still have ALL the novellas left to tackle, too!
This time though what is added to the mix is a - not convoluted, no… hang on, let me get the thesaurus site up - ok, here we go: AN intricate plot that will literally blow your socks off. As well as maybe a good deal of your face if you're standing too close when things start going KABOOM. Seriously, it's been a while since I've had to SLOW DOWN my reading just to stop and let things get absorbed before moving on. Because in this one you need to keep track of what has gone on before - in this book, in this trilogy and as well as the books before it! - and still pay attention to every detail of what's getting ready to pop up in front of you! Don't blink or you'll miss someone gettin' et!
What was less than el perfecto to me is that naturally with SO MUCH going on, a lot of things were not entirely left by the wayside but also didn't get top-billing … which isn't fair either, so let's just say I felt some bits didn't get as much air-time as I wish they had, which is just me being redundant and repeating myself, too. Look, I'm doing my best here not to give away any spoilers - the largest of which is presented in the epilogue and the bits after the epilogue - but I still have so many questions.
For example, for all the trouble she caused, Gan did not appear nearly enough for my tastes nor expectations in this book. Why, I'm not sure, maybe it just didn't fit. Also the Deliverance Werewolves should have / could have been featured - or definitely explained more - without doubt. I could name some other examples that I "think" (which strikes me a lot like ass/u/me in this case) will be clarified more if and when the opportunity arises. Maybe a lot of it is just silly stuff but I find myself asking:
- What were Kelly and Vincent really up to? Was an extended booty call really the reason they went "missing"? Color me suspicious (which I believe is similar to teal in hue)!
- What is the deal with Ed's nervousness about Kara? Is it just cold feet or is this where he has some kind of epiphany about Sally? I didn't get that at all!
- Speaking of Sally, well yeah, we should probably speak about Sally. But not here (glances left and right nervously), it's not safe!
- And where is Ed's step-dad? Survivalists don't just fade away like that kids! Not when there's serious shootin' to be done!
- And we've got a werewolf spy in the apartment where the "New Kids of the Coven" are crashed out, what's up with that? This also totally ignores all the things I want to know about those fish dudes that never really got enough of their due. And don't get me started about the rabid, face-eating leprechauns (bastards are always after me lucky charms... no, wait, that's backwards...)!
So, yes, in conclusion, I'm a little bitch. It's not my fault these GREAT stories make me want so much more, but there you have it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check out more of RG's collection because this is just plain fantastic reading! Join us, meatsacks, if you dare!
July 13, 2021
𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝑨' 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒊𝒔, Bill of the Dead, Book 3
by Rick Gualtieri
As usual, Gualtieri publishes a novel that has a compelling story line, excellent plotting and flow, great editing and proofing, has plenty of action, hilarious/snarky dialogue, desperate situations, and is full of pop culture references (I'll list a few later). I was so sad when I thought there was a cliffhanger ending (and what a cliffhanger), but Gualitieri managed to redeem himself last minute by adding a bonus chapter which allowed the reader/fan/reviewer to breathe a sigh of relief (and, of course, mentioning that there was another book in the series in the works helped, too).
One of the things I love about this series is the plethora of pop culture references which are so amazingly in line with standard nerd think. I only started highlighting them on my Kindle after I'd been reading a short while, but here is my incomplete list. Each mention either caused me to laugh or at least smile.
There was certainly enough action for anyone in this book. I noted at 2021 that I was about 33% through the book and there had already been 3 pretty large action scenarios. The book took off like a rocket and barely looked back.
Location 955: "I had a feeling this was her own demented version of the Kobayashi Maru --"
Location 1401: "What, did Betty White finally die or something?"
Location 2509: "...awesome superhero book by Drew H..." (For those of you who don't recognize this, Drew Hayes authors the Super Powereds novels, as well as a few stand alone novels, and some other series, too (my favorite series of his being Fred, the Vampire Accountant).
Location 3118: "I currently looked like Wade Wilson's uglier cousin."
Location 3349: "Don't event think about making a keymaster joke, Bill."
Location 3636: "...you'd have sworn he'd single-handedly delivered the One Ring to Mordor."
Location 3754: "You're like my guardian Lorna Dane."
Location 3816: "My own counsel will I keep," Tom and I said almost simultaneously in Yoda-speak.
and my last one noted, at Location 5327: "Now I was starring in Jurassic World: Upstate New York."
And to top all of that off, at Location 3559, as Bill is about to enter his apartment, we have a classic fake out:
"Trusting my senses, I pushed the door open and stepped in ... only to find I should've heeded caution instead.
Myra stood there, hate in her eyes and a fireball at the ready, unleashing it my way before I could even scream.
********
Just fucking with you.
Life's no fun if you can't occasionally be an unreliable narrator within your own mind."
In simple terms, this novel was fun from page 1 to the end. Kudos, Rick!
by Rick Gualtieri
As usual, Gualtieri publishes a novel that has a compelling story line, excellent plotting and flow, great editing and proofing, has plenty of action, hilarious/snarky dialogue, desperate situations, and is full of pop culture references (I'll list a few later). I was so sad when I thought there was a cliffhanger ending (and what a cliffhanger), but Gualitieri managed to redeem himself last minute by adding a bonus chapter which allowed the reader/fan/reviewer to breathe a sigh of relief (and, of course, mentioning that there was another book in the series in the works helped, too).
One of the things I love about this series is the plethora of pop culture references which are so amazingly in line with standard nerd think. I only started highlighting them on my Kindle after I'd been reading a short while, but here is my incomplete list. Each mention either caused me to laugh or at least smile.
There was certainly enough action for anyone in this book. I noted at 2021 that I was about 33% through the book and there had already been 3 pretty large action scenarios. The book took off like a rocket and barely looked back.
Location 955: "I had a feeling this was her own demented version of the Kobayashi Maru --"
Location 1401: "What, did Betty White finally die or something?"
Location 2509: "...awesome superhero book by Drew H..." (For those of you who don't recognize this, Drew Hayes authors the Super Powereds novels, as well as a few stand alone novels, and some other series, too (my favorite series of his being Fred, the Vampire Accountant).
Location 3118: "I currently looked like Wade Wilson's uglier cousin."
Location 3349: "Don't event think about making a keymaster joke, Bill."
Location 3636: "...you'd have sworn he'd single-handedly delivered the One Ring to Mordor."
Location 3754: "You're like my guardian Lorna Dane."
Location 3816: "My own counsel will I keep," Tom and I said almost simultaneously in Yoda-speak.
and my last one noted, at Location 5327: "Now I was starring in Jurassic World: Upstate New York."
And to top all of that off, at Location 3559, as Bill is about to enter his apartment, we have a classic fake out:
"Trusting my senses, I pushed the door open and stepped in ... only to find I should've heeded caution instead.
Myra stood there, hate in her eyes and a fireball at the ready, unleashing it my way before I could even scream.
********
Just fucking with you.
Life's no fun if you can't occasionally be an unreliable narrator within your own mind."
In simple terms, this novel was fun from page 1 to the end. Kudos, Rick!
August 6, 2021
Another fantastic addition to this series.
I love journeying along with Bill the Freewill on his trek of discovering what new powers he and his friends manifest and what trials they’ll face as they continue to fight all the various powers of evil. This is the third book in the urban fantasy Bill of the Dead series. I love that Bill’s character, despite his unique powers, is still sweet, a bit naive, clumsy, and makes all kinds of mistakes which makes him a likeable hero. Bill is a vampire whose girlfriend is a witch. In addition to vampires and witches, we have werewolves, an icon and all manner of terrifying supernatural creatures In this book. The book has the same main characters from the first two books with some new characters added into the mix. The story includes what you’d expect from this genre - fighting, dangerous situations, paranormal creatures, evil masterminds, henchmen, loyal friends and family, tragic back stories, mystical coincidences, snark, and laughs. Like the other books, every time Bill and his friends are confronted with a new threat, they manage to overcome it through luck, a new skill/power or a friend shows up at the last moment. Despite knowing this, it does not change the enjoyment of the story. I will definitely keep reading the series.
I love journeying along with Bill the Freewill on his trek of discovering what new powers he and his friends manifest and what trials they’ll face as they continue to fight all the various powers of evil. This is the third book in the urban fantasy Bill of the Dead series. I love that Bill’s character, despite his unique powers, is still sweet, a bit naive, clumsy, and makes all kinds of mistakes which makes him a likeable hero. Bill is a vampire whose girlfriend is a witch. In addition to vampires and witches, we have werewolves, an icon and all manner of terrifying supernatural creatures In this book. The book has the same main characters from the first two books with some new characters added into the mix. The story includes what you’d expect from this genre - fighting, dangerous situations, paranormal creatures, evil masterminds, henchmen, loyal friends and family, tragic back stories, mystical coincidences, snark, and laughs. Like the other books, every time Bill and his friends are confronted with a new threat, they manage to overcome it through luck, a new skill/power or a friend shows up at the last moment. Despite knowing this, it does not change the enjoyment of the story. I will definitely keep reading the series.
June 28, 2021
Thank you for this
And just like that I got my infusion of Bill and now I can handle waiting for the next one. Not sure where this is going but like Bill and company I am content to deal with all the weird freaky things that this path takes and trust that this will sort itself out to an ending that is where its supposed to be. This book took some turns I was not quite expecting but again I trust Bill will get where he is meant to be. Not sure who will survive the entire journey but if someone sends Gan to her death I would not be upset. However since the dog should always live then Glen should survive. Still not certain on the fates of Tom, Ed. Sally and Christy. *sigh* ok I need that sequel now.
And just like that I got my infusion of Bill and now I can handle waiting for the next one. Not sure where this is going but like Bill and company I am content to deal with all the weird freaky things that this path takes and trust that this will sort itself out to an ending that is where its supposed to be. This book took some turns I was not quite expecting but again I trust Bill will get where he is meant to be. Not sure who will survive the entire journey but if someone sends Gan to her death I would not be upset. However since the dog should always live then Glen should survive. Still not certain on the fates of Tom, Ed. Sally and Christy. *sigh* ok I need that sequel now.
July 28, 2021
Another great one!
So I read this in one sitting, pinching one off at my girlfriend's house, my legs are number and I can't stand because I could put this book down for even a moment, send help! Seriously, if you like Shayne Silvers, Hunter Blain, or Ryan Attard and haven't given Rick a try then you're seriously missing out.
So I read this in one sitting, pinching one off at my girlfriend's house, my legs are number and I can't stand because I could put this book down for even a moment, send help! Seriously, if you like Shayne Silvers, Hunter Blain, or Ryan Attard and haven't given Rick a try then you're seriously missing out.
April 16, 2022
Bill strikes again!
How many protagonists try to save the ones they love, only to nearly destroy the world in the process?
Bill does it on a near weekly basis it seems.
Excellent characters, wonderful story, compelling action.
Do not just skim through this. Devour it and beg for more.
How many protagonists try to save the ones they love, only to nearly destroy the world in the process?
Bill does it on a near weekly basis it seems.
Excellent characters, wonderful story, compelling action.
Do not just skim through this. Devour it and beg for more.
August 3, 2022
Entering Bill Ryder's version of Destroy All Monsters
Once again Bill enters the breach in the most ham handed way possible. He's a hero at heart, but really the most capable.
A humorous (as always) foray into the twisted life of Bill, facing mages, werewolves, giant cockroaches, kaiju and Gan. What could go wrong?
Once again Bill enters the breach in the most ham handed way possible. He's a hero at heart, but really the most capable.
A humorous (as always) foray into the twisted life of Bill, facing mages, werewolves, giant cockroaches, kaiju and Gan. What could go wrong?
December 10, 2022
Damn awesome book
What I disliked is that I don't have a hard copy yet. The only reason why I had to put the Kindle down was there was someone shooting their handgun in the alley behind my house. Amazing book otherwise, and the series would make either an amazing anime series or miniseries for TV
What I disliked is that I don't have a hard copy yet. The only reason why I had to put the Kindle down was there was someone shooting their handgun in the alley behind my house. Amazing book otherwise, and the series would make either an amazing anime series or miniseries for TV
October 9, 2022
Another Amazing Bill Book
Just when I thought that Bill and the gang were going to be able to relax, they are faced with a new, exciting set of challenges. I love this series and this book is a great addition.
Just when I thought that Bill and the gang were going to be able to relax, they are faced with a new, exciting set of challenges. I love this series and this book is a great addition.
June 27, 2021
Carnage A Trois
Another great addition to the series. Hopefully we don't need to wait to long until we find out what happens next
Another great addition to the series. Hopefully we don't need to wait to long until we find out what happens next
June 28, 2021
Hilarious and evil
Read this. You will laugh a ton. Then get to the end and start wanting the next book immediately to fix it.
Read this. You will laugh a ton. Then get to the end and start wanting the next book immediately to fix it.
November 25, 2021
Good read. Looking forward to the next.
July 29, 2022
More
Can you suspend disbelief? For more than three books? Then Bill of the Dead is the series for you. Really.
Can you suspend disbelief? For more than three books? Then Bill of the Dead is the series for you. Really.
December 5, 2023
Great series continues
I have read all the books and the quality is always great. The story stays compelling and I look forward to the next book in the series.
I have read all the books and the quality is always great. The story stays compelling and I look forward to the next book in the series.
June 19, 2025
I pretty much love everything Rick writes. His writing matches my twisted sense of humor.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews