50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems

by Brian Bilston

A funny collection of football poems by Brian Bilston, the unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. Perfect for football fans of all ages – from the young footie fanatic to a been-to-every-game-grandma, and every 'I could've been a pro' in between.Full of poems that will make you giggle about all things football, including being left out of the World Cup squad, mum's opinion on Messi vs Ronaldo, or those unmissable ’d love nothing more than to go outsideand spend time with Mother Nature.But what can I do? It’s out of my are playing Croatia 50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems includes witty chants, a haiku or two, and fun shape poems about the beautiful game. Laugh together through the Euros or Premier League games, and swap the half-time pundits for puns!'Bilston is a magician with words' – Guardian'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' – The Times

Genres: Poetry

128 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 27, 2021

About the author

Brian Bilston is a poet whose work has been shared widely on social media over the last few years. He has been described as the 'unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter'.

Reviews

[Anthony Frobisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

50 Ways to Score a Goal.

The latest collection of poems from the always witty and relevant Brian Bilston.
The poems in this collection are perfect for boys and girls who love the beautiful game. But it is so much more than that. Big kids (aka 52 year old me) will find so much to enjoy. I laughed out loud, readily and often. Brian's poems bring a smile, let you escape for a while and lose yourself in rhyme (& non-rhyme) and rhythm, humour and witticisms, but also Brian is a master at naunce, at times pathos - the simplicity of two friends playing football, a universal and common language of football and friendship - but one a refugee. Beautiful and amongst the smiles, there are wise, thought provoking ideas. That could and should provoke conversation and inquisitiveness.
Poetry should be like this. Fun and joyful, expressive and engaging, welcoming and inclusive. But it should also challenge and question, spark ideas and thoughts, reveal and expose layers of life.
I loved 50 Ways to Score A Goal. Perfect for kids small and big. Wonderful fun. Wonderful words. I am a big fan of Bilston FC.

[Bjarne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finurlige, fjantede og fabelagtige fodbolddigte.
Akrostikon, haiku, bogstavrim, enderim og digte helt uden fast struktur. Brian Bilston har denne gang kastet sig over fodboldens verden med 60 digte fordelt på to halvlege og en pause. I pausen er den traditionelle appelsinbåd dog udskiftet med den mere eksotiske satsuma, og det er der en poetisk grund til...
Digtene spænder fra det Shu-Bi-Dua-agtige (50'er-hittet "Fever" omdøbes til FIFA) til alvorlige sager om moderen, der må arbejde stenhårdt for at få råd til at give sin søn yndlingstrøjen.
"Unsung Hero" om den ikke-værdsatte midtbaneslider får mig til at tænke på firserlandsholdets Jens Jørn Bertelsen.
Naturligvis er der også et digt om Ronaldo og Messi. To drenge er uenige om, hvem der er bedst. Deres mor har et overraskende svar. Svaret er bedst på engelsk...

[E.A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Teachable book a week #2

[A.J. Sefton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a fan of football almost all my life and have read my fair share of biographies and other footballing books, including Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby, The Football Factory by John King and the motivational book by Marcus RashfordYou Are a Champion. However, nothing tops this book. Seriously.

This is a book of football poems looking at all aspects of the beautiful game, from the stress of being chosen to play, the role of wingers, to being on the bench and the half-time satsuma. Who is better - Ronaldo or Messi?

The book is (mostly) from a child's perspective and I remember how I used to try t speak with as many football terms and players names as I could manage to fit into a sentence, as in the poem Total Football. There is a lot of word play in may of the poems, re-writes of football songs and the Match of the Day theme tune as well as rules of the game and aspects of it, such as The Language of Football and the dreaded own goal in O.G. and the potentially equally dreaded referee in A Cautionary Tale. Keepie-uppies is a visual poem that you have to look at as is the very true Life Cycle of a Football Manager.

Bilson is unlikely to become the Poet Laureate based on this book, but, for any football fan these sometimes silly verses capture the spirit of the game. The match day routines, The Bobble Hat and the Magic Sponge are part of the nostalgia of football fans. Better than poems about childhood holidays. Highly recommended for any young fan or not so young.

[Tom Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across this book after reading a poem by Bilston on Twitter. As a football fan it is a really enjoyable read, and I'd imagine it will be devoured by any younger fans of the game. There's lot of different chants and variations of 'old-classics', coupled with various forms of poetry. The book will speak to old and new fans alike; it is very accessible for younger children, but with detailed enough references to hook older readers too. It is inclusive and features lots of poems about different communities involved in the beautiful game, with the poem 'Wonderkid' particularly inspirational for young female readers.

[Gill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have never dreamed that I'd have bought a book of football poems but it was part of a deal and then the poems are by Brian Bilston who makes the subject of every poem of interest.

The poems are written as chants, ballads, puns etc and their humorous nature makes them ideal for children, whether they like football or not.

[Steve Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Brian Bilston’s poetry and this collection contains some absolute crackers. If I’m honest, I’ve rounded up from four and a half stars for this particular volume

[Karri Hoopes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another fun Brian Bilston book of poetry, even if you aren't young! Anyone who has chased kids to and from sports events can relate to the poetry in here.