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Tacky: Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have to Offer
From James Beard Award-nominated writer of the Catapult column Store-Bought Is Fine, an irreverent and charming debut essay collection about the joys of low culture and bad taste, exploring coming of age in the 2000s in the age of Hot Topic, Creed, and frosted lip gloss. A VINTAGE ORIGINAL
Tacky is about the power of pop culture--like any art--to imprint itself on our lives and shape our experiences, no matter one's commitment to good taste. These fifteen essays are a nostalgia-soaked antidote to the millennial generation's obsession with irony, putting the aesthetics we hate to love--snakeskin pants, Sex and the City, Cheesecake Factory's gargantuan menu--into kinder and sharper perspective. Each essay revolves around a different maligned (and yet, Rax would argue, vital) cultural artifact, providing thoughtful, even romantic meditations on desire, love, and the power of nostalgia. An essay about the gym-tan-laundry exuberance of Jersey Shore morphs into an excavation of grief over the death of her father; in You Wanna Be On Top, Rax writes about friendship and early aughts girlhood; in another, Guy Fieri helps her heal from an abusive relationship. The result is a collection that captures the personal and generational experience of finding joy in caring just a little too much with clarity, heartfelt honesty, and Rax King's trademark humor.
Tacky is about the power of pop culture--like any art--to imprint itself on our lives and shape our experiences, no matter one's commitment to good taste. These fifteen essays are a nostalgia-soaked antidote to the millennial generation's obsession with irony, putting the aesthetics we hate to love--snakeskin pants, Sex and the City, Cheesecake Factory's gargantuan menu--into kinder and sharper perspective. Each essay revolves around a different maligned (and yet, Rax would argue, vital) cultural artifact, providing thoughtful, even romantic meditations on desire, love, and the power of nostalgia. An essay about the gym-tan-laundry exuberance of Jersey Shore morphs into an excavation of grief over the death of her father; in You Wanna Be On Top, Rax writes about friendship and early aughts girlhood; in another, Guy Fieri helps her heal from an abusive relationship. The result is a collection that captures the personal and generational experience of finding joy in caring just a little too much with clarity, heartfelt honesty, and Rax King's trademark humor.
195 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 2, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 941 reviews
November 3, 2021
I think my frustration with this book comes from a case of false advertising. From the cover and blurb, I was expecting something way more generalized, a piece of nonfiction that incorporated both psychology and history to talk about the enduring legacy of (tacky) American pop culture.
And… that’s not really what this is. Does the book talk about pop culture? Yeah, but the content leans soooo personal that I might even categorize it as pseudo-memoir. In particular, King spends an inordinate amount of time on her romantic relationships with men, including tons of details on her sex life. I don’t mind this for a chapter or two, but EVERY chapter seems to circle back on a different sexual relationship, whether the man be a tween, a movie star, or a married man she’s having an affair with! It got old, quick.
You can combine this complaint with the fact that some chapters hit much harder than others. I’ve never listened to Creed or Meat Loaf, never watched Degrassi, never shopped at Hot Topic, never played the Sims. This makes it difficult to relate / care about those chapters. I did enjoy the Jersey Shore chapter, and the one on Cheesecake Factory.
I voluntarily obtained a digital version of this book free from Netgalley and Knopf in exchange for an honest review.
And… that’s not really what this is. Does the book talk about pop culture? Yeah, but the content leans soooo personal that I might even categorize it as pseudo-memoir. In particular, King spends an inordinate amount of time on her romantic relationships with men, including tons of details on her sex life. I don’t mind this for a chapter or two, but EVERY chapter seems to circle back on a different sexual relationship, whether the man be a tween, a movie star, or a married man she’s having an affair with! It got old, quick.
You can combine this complaint with the fact that some chapters hit much harder than others. I’ve never listened to Creed or Meat Loaf, never watched Degrassi, never shopped at Hot Topic, never played the Sims. This makes it difficult to relate / care about those chapters. I did enjoy the Jersey Shore chapter, and the one on Cheesecake Factory.
I voluntarily obtained a digital version of this book free from Netgalley and Knopf in exchange for an honest review.
May 14, 2021
Well, here we are, the year of 2021, where the early 2000s are now being mined for nostalgia as the internet shrinks the gap between present and past. Be on the lookout for my personal essay collection about the halcyon era of 2014-2016, coming out Fall 2022.
While this is billed as a collection of essays exploring the aesthetic of “tacky,” the concept is defended only in passing. This is closer to a memoir of her childhood and sexuality, through the lens of pop culture, laundered and presented as a series of cultural essays. The common thread between the essays seems to be trying to figure out why men she has sex with inevitably let her down. Whatever cultural fascination she had at the time period of her latest conquest is grafted onto the story in an effort to provide it depth. She has all types of sex, which is cool! Sounds like a grand old time! Her own sexual appetite is endlessly fascinating for her, I’m sure, but not one that I’m interested in exploring at great length.
In addition, many of her arguments simply don’t stand up to common sense, unless, perhaps, you are drunk at 4 am in a Brooklyn speakeasy. Take, for example, the first chapter, in which she defends the sincerity of Creed. It’s a nice sentiment and I appreciate her standing up for sincerity, as no one likes a cultural elitist. However, she claims that narrow-minded critics could only slander Creed’s music as boring—both in lyrical content and musical composition.
Well, yeah…those are the two components of music? What else should they criticize? The production value? There are a handful of topics that all musicians dwell upon: loss, love, grief, ecstasy, and a few variations on those themes. What makes a song good or not is presenting those themes through lyrics, musical composition, and voice. There are, in fact, many many artists who also sing sincerely about those wellsprings, and they are more musically talented than Creed.
King loves a good strawman, intricately building them so she can take them down with sassy aplomb. This works well for Twitter but is less engrossing in a full-length project like this.
Listen to full episodes at https://bookclubbed.buzzsprout.com/.
While this is billed as a collection of essays exploring the aesthetic of “tacky,” the concept is defended only in passing. This is closer to a memoir of her childhood and sexuality, through the lens of pop culture, laundered and presented as a series of cultural essays. The common thread between the essays seems to be trying to figure out why men she has sex with inevitably let her down. Whatever cultural fascination she had at the time period of her latest conquest is grafted onto the story in an effort to provide it depth. She has all types of sex, which is cool! Sounds like a grand old time! Her own sexual appetite is endlessly fascinating for her, I’m sure, but not one that I’m interested in exploring at great length.
In addition, many of her arguments simply don’t stand up to common sense, unless, perhaps, you are drunk at 4 am in a Brooklyn speakeasy. Take, for example, the first chapter, in which she defends the sincerity of Creed. It’s a nice sentiment and I appreciate her standing up for sincerity, as no one likes a cultural elitist. However, she claims that narrow-minded critics could only slander Creed’s music as boring—both in lyrical content and musical composition.
Well, yeah…those are the two components of music? What else should they criticize? The production value? There are a handful of topics that all musicians dwell upon: loss, love, grief, ecstasy, and a few variations on those themes. What makes a song good or not is presenting those themes through lyrics, musical composition, and voice. There are, in fact, many many artists who also sing sincerely about those wellsprings, and they are more musically talented than Creed.
King loves a good strawman, intricately building them so she can take them down with sassy aplomb. This works well for Twitter but is less engrossing in a full-length project like this.
Listen to full episodes at https://bookclubbed.buzzsprout.com/.
January 3, 2023
"The rules of taste aren't written anywhere, Susan Sontag's extensive theorizing on the matter notwithstanding -- what I mean is that they aren't encoded anywhere the average person might see and obey them. But we still believe we can discern good taste from bad using our judgement." -- the opening lines to 'Never Fall in Love at the Jersey Shore,' on page 43
Tacky? More often Tawdry. Like some other GR readers/reviewers have noted I was also fully expecting - especially with a subtitle like Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have to Offer - a fun or ribald collection of essays on assorted pop cultural subjects. Indeed, author King occasionally does have moments where she adroitly expounds on such various items as the Jersey Shore TV series, the ubiquitous mall store Hot Topic, The Sims computer game, and crowd-pleasing chain restaurants like The Cheesecake Factory. However, the book increasingly turns memoir-like and repeatedly focuses on - or just goes way overboard with mentioning them, to the point of it all becoming tiresome and/or grating - the author's edgy triumvirate of shoplifting exploits, casual drug use, and apparently non-stop sexual activity, both as an adolescent and an adult. For the latter matter it really began to seem like there was simply not one older / married / successful jerk-ish adult male in her orbit who did not become or initiate a carnal conquest. While I won't damn her for those choices I'm also not going to celebrate them, either. But for those aforementioned fellas - way to make the rest of us average ordinary guys look bad by association with your questionable actions and behavior.
Tacky? More often Tawdry. Like some other GR readers/reviewers have noted I was also fully expecting - especially with a subtitle like Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have to Offer - a fun or ribald collection of essays on assorted pop cultural subjects. Indeed, author King occasionally does have moments where she adroitly expounds on such various items as the Jersey Shore TV series, the ubiquitous mall store Hot Topic, The Sims computer game, and crowd-pleasing chain restaurants like The Cheesecake Factory. However, the book increasingly turns memoir-like and repeatedly focuses on - or just goes way overboard with mentioning them, to the point of it all becoming tiresome and/or grating - the author's edgy triumvirate of shoplifting exploits, casual drug use, and apparently non-stop sexual activity, both as an adolescent and an adult. For the latter matter it really began to seem like there was simply not one older / married / successful jerk-ish adult male in her orbit who did not become or initiate a carnal conquest. While I won't damn her for those choices I'm also not going to celebrate them, either. But for those aforementioned fellas - way to make the rest of us average ordinary guys look bad by association with your questionable actions and behavior.
January 25, 2022
I had to re-read this book’s description a few times to figure out where I went wrong and realized “deeply personal” was vastly underemphasized. At first, this seemed well on its way to a 4 star rating but then out of nowhere got way too personal and graphic and I was totally put off. What I thought I was gonna get was a fun little essay collection about the Sims and Flavortown and Bath and Body Works and all the other tacky shit I love. What I got was basically that until about 50% through when I arrived at the Sex and the City essay. From that point on, the author morphs into a very dislikable narrator focused on bragging about her drug use, wacky and zany sex life, and big city livin’ as a desperate “look at me and how edgy I am” trope. Like we get it, you’re not a regular millennial, you’re a ~cool~ millennial. I hated the arrogance of this author and didn’t give two shits about her little sob story. Instead of reading this garbage, I suggest: light a bath and body works candle, queue up some Sims, listen to Senses Fail, and order in some Cheesecake Factory…you’ll have a WAY better time.
December 21, 2021
Tacky: Love Letters to the Worst Culture We Have to Offer is an essay collection about enjoying the “wrong” elements of American pop culture. Wrong as in tacky and popularly snubbed after their (debatable) peak prime — Think the band Creed, shows like Jersey Shore and America’s Next Top Model, the tween girl favorite Bath & Body Works scent of Warm Vanilla Sugar, the store Hot Topic, the game The Sims, and the ever popular Cheesecake Factory restaurant.
While I haven’t loved all of these pieces of pop culture, I did, at one time, love some (looking at you ANTM and The Sims)! I still hold no qualms with Cheesecake Factory, arguably high on my list of preferred chain restaurants, if I’m going to eat at one. I admit the volume of its menu can be overwhelming, but this won’t stop me from agreeing to eat there.
”I’ve longed for the Cheesecake Factory myself, because it is the precise same experience everywhere, and because I could go there today or next year or in 2009 or in Oregon or San Juan and find absolutely zero surprises.”
I liked some of Rax’s exploration essays much more than others, which is fairly common for me with most essay or short story collections. As a whole, I found Tacky entertaining. There’s an implied reminder not to let the court of public opinion sway your enjoyment of anything — Life is short, embrace what you want!
Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf Doubleday for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
While I haven’t loved all of these pieces of pop culture, I did, at one time, love some (looking at you ANTM and The Sims)! I still hold no qualms with Cheesecake Factory, arguably high on my list of preferred chain restaurants, if I’m going to eat at one. I admit the volume of its menu can be overwhelming, but this won’t stop me from agreeing to eat there.
”I’ve longed for the Cheesecake Factory myself, because it is the precise same experience everywhere, and because I could go there today or next year or in 2009 or in Oregon or San Juan and find absolutely zero surprises.”
I liked some of Rax’s exploration essays much more than others, which is fairly common for me with most essay or short story collections. As a whole, I found Tacky entertaining. There’s an implied reminder not to let the court of public opinion sway your enjoyment of anything — Life is short, embrace what you want!
Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf Doubleday for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
November 17, 2021
Rax i'd love to hangout and listen to Creed w u!
November 22, 2024
3.75⭐️ rounded up
”I’d like to revisit that time in my life when I was equipped to given the hideousness of human emotion its respectful due. I’d like to groan, and wail, and squeeze my eyes shut when I sing a particularly meaningful chorus. And I’d like to do all those things without worrying that people are making fun of me for it, even though they will be.”
Rax King’s collection of personal essays, Tacky, is fun and unhinged and particularly comforting for anyone who grew up in the early 2000s; from Guy Fieri’s Triple D television program to frosted lipgloss to countless sexcapades with unavailable older men. King reminds us that something deemed tacky often stems from someone genuine.
”I’d like to revisit that time in my life when I was equipped to given the hideousness of human emotion its respectful due. I’d like to groan, and wail, and squeeze my eyes shut when I sing a particularly meaningful chorus. And I’d like to do all those things without worrying that people are making fun of me for it, even though they will be.”
Rax King’s collection of personal essays, Tacky, is fun and unhinged and particularly comforting for anyone who grew up in the early 2000s; from Guy Fieri’s Triple D television program to frosted lipgloss to countless sexcapades with unavailable older men. King reminds us that something deemed tacky often stems from someone genuine.
September 3, 2024
I initially picked this up book up based on its title and cover art. I honestly thought by the image of a lady in a martini glass that it was safe to assume that this book would be an insightful exploration into tacky and kitsch culture of mid-century United States. I was severely mistaken.
I began reading and discovered this book is actually a memoir of sorts, incorporating early 2000s pop culture in a manner similar to fellow millennial Grace Perry's "The 2000s Made Me Gay." Despite initially being put off that the cover art doesn't match the era being written about, I gave this a chance because memoirs are my favorite and Rax and I are close in age.
I read patiently through the first half of the book, although I felt like King's writing style skips around somewhat confusingly, weakening the connections between her memories and the pop culture she is referencing. Some of my favorite essays from this book include Rax and her Dad watching Jersey Shore and tween Rax's friendship with the twenty something year-old neighbor man. Then came the second half of the book, which felt full of unneccessary recollections of her sexual exploits. We get it, you might have a libido and definitely belong in the subreddit r/ihavesex. I think King hoped that (over)sharing some of these memories would help connect the reader to her experience more emotionally, but I found a fair amount of the details to be gratuitous, if not somewhat immature.
I am giving this 2 out of 5 stars. I am interested to see how Rax grows as a writer. In the interim, I think the cover, title, and even the book's description are misleading and should be reconsidered before publishing.
I began reading and discovered this book is actually a memoir of sorts, incorporating early 2000s pop culture in a manner similar to fellow millennial Grace Perry's "The 2000s Made Me Gay." Despite initially being put off that the cover art doesn't match the era being written about, I gave this a chance because memoirs are my favorite and Rax and I are close in age.
I read patiently through the first half of the book, although I felt like King's writing style skips around somewhat confusingly, weakening the connections between her memories and the pop culture she is referencing. Some of my favorite essays from this book include Rax and her Dad watching Jersey Shore and tween Rax's friendship with the twenty something year-old neighbor man. Then came the second half of the book, which felt full of unneccessary recollections of her sexual exploits. We get it, you might have a libido and definitely belong in the subreddit r/ihavesex. I think King hoped that (over)sharing some of these memories would help connect the reader to her experience more emotionally, but I found a fair amount of the details to be gratuitous, if not somewhat immature.
I am giving this 2 out of 5 stars. I am interested to see how Rax grows as a writer. In the interim, I think the cover, title, and even the book's description are misleading and should be reconsidered before publishing.
December 30, 2023
Wish i had read the reviews before buying this because I’m definitely echoing the popular opinion that this book felt mismarketed. I went into this expecting it to be a retrospective on different cultural moments & eras branded as “tacky” with more of a.. collective voice? Instead this (to me) read like a memoir that used types of tacky as jumping off points for the author to reflect on her adolescence, sexuality and relationships with the people in her life. Nostalgia + the “tacky” are the initiators, not the meat of this book. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong about that, i think the concept is smart but the branding really sets you up for something else imo and this just didn’t have what i was hoping to get out of it.
(And i’ll admit i found the “let people enjoy things!” grandstanding a little vapid considering that for a book continuously bringing up the perception of tackiness in relation to how the author was chided for “low art” things she enjoyed, it was done in opposition to a black & white camp that personally i just dont think exists irl lol… like even
the most ironypilled people have a soft spot for something that someone out there finds tacky as well- it’s just different from what you’ve been side eyed for. was pretty surprised to not see that angle brought up in this at all.)
(And i’ll admit i found the “let people enjoy things!” grandstanding a little vapid considering that for a book continuously bringing up the perception of tackiness in relation to how the author was chided for “low art” things she enjoyed, it was done in opposition to a black & white camp that personally i just dont think exists irl lol… like even
the most ironypilled people have a soft spot for something that someone out there finds tacky as well- it’s just different from what you’ve been side eyed for. was pretty surprised to not see that angle brought up in this at all.)
November 21, 2021
This book is funny. It made me laugh so many times. The author also doesn’t take herself too seriously which is refreshing. I dislike that another thing one is supposed to concern themselves with is having good taste. It would be so awful to be considered doing something tacky. Life is too short to let that weigh you down. If you like something, you just do, and I think it is best to enjoy the joy it brings and not have to always add a label to every action.
I think the author does a good job of conveying this. There are so many pop cultural references and those are fun to read, especially about loving The Jersey Shore and how important The Mall was to teenagers. The Jersey Shore essay was poignant because the author is so close with her dad and it’s something they shared together. They knew it was low brow and silly and did not care. Her dad even calls her at college each week to review the show since she can not see it there. It shows how something dumb can actually have much meaning.
As the book goes on though, I felt a shift in the author’s thinking. The book wasn’t about tacky culture and silliness anymore. I suspect the author was going through a rather difficult period in her late teens and early 20’s. Then you know with certainty she is because she is married and in an emotionally abusive marriage. She mentions liking Guy Fieri and the 3D’s that was his show. Yet, there is deep heartbreak she is speaking about. Even though the tone is different, I was quite moved by the way she describes life. She is an honest and true person that doesn’t try to cover her mistakes and wrong decisions. I found that moving. So, the book starts out hilarious and ends on a strong note of loving Meatloaf’s song, Bat out of Hell. It evokes young love,passion, and heartbreak in an over-the-top way. When you’ve just moved out of a destructive relationship, you need a song like that. I’m glad she found it and sang her heart out.
I also love the cover. Is it Tacky? Each person can decide for themselves.
Thank you NetGalley, Rax King, and Vintage Publishing for a copy of this book.
I think the author does a good job of conveying this. There are so many pop cultural references and those are fun to read, especially about loving The Jersey Shore and how important The Mall was to teenagers. The Jersey Shore essay was poignant because the author is so close with her dad and it’s something they shared together. They knew it was low brow and silly and did not care. Her dad even calls her at college each week to review the show since she can not see it there. It shows how something dumb can actually have much meaning.
As the book goes on though, I felt a shift in the author’s thinking. The book wasn’t about tacky culture and silliness anymore. I suspect the author was going through a rather difficult period in her late teens and early 20’s. Then you know with certainty she is because she is married and in an emotionally abusive marriage. She mentions liking Guy Fieri and the 3D’s that was his show. Yet, there is deep heartbreak she is speaking about. Even though the tone is different, I was quite moved by the way she describes life. She is an honest and true person that doesn’t try to cover her mistakes and wrong decisions. I found that moving. So, the book starts out hilarious and ends on a strong note of loving Meatloaf’s song, Bat out of Hell. It evokes young love,passion, and heartbreak in an over-the-top way. When you’ve just moved out of a destructive relationship, you need a song like that. I’m glad she found it and sang her heart out.
I also love the cover. Is it Tacky? Each person can decide for themselves.
Thank you NetGalley, Rax King, and Vintage Publishing for a copy of this book.
August 11, 2021
I absolutely love collections of essays and memoirs where people write about the pieces of pop culture that were important to them growing up and made a huge impact on their life. In Tacky Rax King covers things that are seen as low culture or for people who have “bad taste.” This isn’t a snarky book making fun of these things and it isn’t overly intellectual, trying to analyze them as pieces of high art.
Tacky isn’t just a book of essays looking at pop culture, it’s heavily influenced by King’s own life and experiences with the pieces of pop culture that she’s covering. The essay about America’s Next Top Model is more about King’s best friend growing up and the magic of friendship between girls/women than it is about the show itself. Similarly the Jersey Shore essay is about her relationship with her father and their time watching the show together. I found all the personal touches and how she was able to weave her own story in with writing more broadly about the essay topics to be really moving. But I can see how readers who went into the book only wanting the pop culture talk & analysis might be let down by how much of the essays are focused on King’s life.
I didn’t start reading this collection thinking that essays about The Cheesecake Factory or Guy Fieri would make me cry, but here we are. This book just hit all the right notes for me.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Tacky isn’t just a book of essays looking at pop culture, it’s heavily influenced by King’s own life and experiences with the pieces of pop culture that she’s covering. The essay about America’s Next Top Model is more about King’s best friend growing up and the magic of friendship between girls/women than it is about the show itself. Similarly the Jersey Shore essay is about her relationship with her father and their time watching the show together. I found all the personal touches and how she was able to weave her own story in with writing more broadly about the essay topics to be really moving. But I can see how readers who went into the book only wanting the pop culture talk & analysis might be let down by how much of the essays are focused on King’s life.
I didn’t start reading this collection thinking that essays about The Cheesecake Factory or Guy Fieri would make me cry, but here we are. This book just hit all the right notes for me.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
December 2, 2021
I LOVE that I'm now of an age where there are lots of great books out here that are very relatable for MY coming-of-age points of reference. Is this how middle aged white men have always felt? It's incredible. I love King's voice here, so confessional and with such good observations about trashy pop culture. Chef's kiss.
December 1, 2024
This book was darker and more intense and deep than I thought it would be. I really liked the author and related to many of her cultural references if not her actual experiences. I was hoping for more essays that took on tackiness and not so much memoir. But what she did she did well, it’s just not what the book was billed as.
August 11, 2023
En las reseñas de este libro hay personas enojadísimas por la naturaleza tan descaradamente personal de los ensayos que Rax King ofrece en su debut.
A mí, Lucinda Garza Zamarripa (amante de Rica Famosa Latina, The Cheesecake Factory y La Rosa de Guadalupe) me parece una maravilla este ejercicio de relacionar elementos de la, mal llamada, "baja cultura" con hechos profundamente íntimos en la vida de la autora. Además, es refrescante ese "fuck you" a lo que la gente "intelectual" entiende por "buen gusto" y lo que se suele considerar "digno" de ser material de escritura.
Definitivamente, el ensayo sobre Jersey Shore y su relación con su padre es mi mayor highlight de estos catorce ensayos. LLORÉ con un ensayo que inicialmente creería que sería sobre Snooki y algunas lecciones que se aprenden durante la universidad, pero fue mucho mucho más que eso y creo que ejemplifica muy bien la magia y la habilidad que tiene la autora para transformar un tema aparentemente ordinario en un homenaje a las cosas que importan en la vida.
No puedo esperar al siguiente libro de Rax.
A mí, Lucinda Garza Zamarripa (amante de Rica Famosa Latina, The Cheesecake Factory y La Rosa de Guadalupe) me parece una maravilla este ejercicio de relacionar elementos de la, mal llamada, "baja cultura" con hechos profundamente íntimos en la vida de la autora. Además, es refrescante ese "fuck you" a lo que la gente "intelectual" entiende por "buen gusto" y lo que se suele considerar "digno" de ser material de escritura.
Definitivamente, el ensayo sobre Jersey Shore y su relación con su padre es mi mayor highlight de estos catorce ensayos. LLORÉ con un ensayo que inicialmente creería que sería sobre Snooki y algunas lecciones que se aprenden durante la universidad, pero fue mucho mucho más que eso y creo que ejemplifica muy bien la magia y la habilidad que tiene la autora para transformar un tema aparentemente ordinario en un homenaje a las cosas que importan en la vida.
No puedo esperar al siguiente libro de Rax.
January 25, 2022
This sounds snobby to admit, but the Personal Essay Industrial Complex boom of the 2010s (remember xoJane? oh god) made me want to leave the form behind as a reader, weary & low-key grossed out as I was of women turning themselves totally inside out in writing just for clicks, tenuously linking a life event or trauma to some broader pop cultural phenomenon & messily awaiting our messy reactions.
But this essay collection isn't that. So far from it. Rax King is too sharp of an observer, too earnest, too clever, & too skilled of a writer to let that happen. In these essays, pop cultural detritus is woven through & linked to scenes from a life with humor, sensitivity, & a really acute perceptiveness. Rax has a way of simultaneously holding space/tenderness for her former (& present day) selves & her interests/proclivities/preoccupations, while still throwing in healthy dose of self-awareness & self-abnegation when the occasion calls for it.
And on a personal note: having reached a summit of a long & winding journey through sexual self-actualization as an adult, the parts of this book that discuss various relationships/entanglements/encounters, from teenage clumsiness to adult affairs, resonated with me deeply. Riot grrrl & Samantha Jones also had me thinking that being a slut would be an empowering breeze, while mainstream U.S. puritanical culture dictates that a woman who behaves in these ways must have a self-esteem deficit. It's refreshing & SO resonant to see a writer discuss [mis]adventures in promiscuity in ways that are neither ultra-pathologizing nor glamorous & rosy. The reality of it is so, so often in-between & nuanced, & Rax occupies the whole spectrum -- the ambivalence! the hopeless crushes! the often-corniness of BDSM! -- with vulnerability & wit, which is an ultra-rare combo if you ask me.
If I had to assign one word to this book, I'd say 'effervescent'.
But this essay collection isn't that. So far from it. Rax King is too sharp of an observer, too earnest, too clever, & too skilled of a writer to let that happen. In these essays, pop cultural detritus is woven through & linked to scenes from a life with humor, sensitivity, & a really acute perceptiveness. Rax has a way of simultaneously holding space/tenderness for her former (& present day) selves & her interests/proclivities/preoccupations, while still throwing in healthy dose of self-awareness & self-abnegation when the occasion calls for it.
And on a personal note: having reached a summit of a long & winding journey through sexual self-actualization as an adult, the parts of this book that discuss various relationships/entanglements/encounters, from teenage clumsiness to adult affairs, resonated with me deeply. Riot grrrl & Samantha Jones also had me thinking that being a slut would be an empowering breeze, while mainstream U.S. puritanical culture dictates that a woman who behaves in these ways must have a self-esteem deficit. It's refreshing & SO resonant to see a writer discuss [mis]adventures in promiscuity in ways that are neither ultra-pathologizing nor glamorous & rosy. The reality of it is so, so often in-between & nuanced, & Rax occupies the whole spectrum -- the ambivalence! the hopeless crushes! the often-corniness of BDSM! -- with vulnerability & wit, which is an ultra-rare combo if you ask me.
If I had to assign one word to this book, I'd say 'effervescent'.
February 6, 2022
I feel wildly misled. The blurb suggested incisive cultural critique essays. Instead it's more of a memoir particularly of the author's attempts to feel validated by sleeping with people significantly older and/or married (and yet nary an essay on how adultery is supremely tacky!) I feel like I know way too much about her now and not in the fun way with some of my favorite humorists.
November 8, 2021
3.5 rounded up. I wish some of the essays were a little longer and better connected as an overall narrative, but I had a lot of fun with this funny, breezy and heartfelt collection. I think if you enjoy Samantha Irby's writing, you will really like this!
August 28, 2022
"Lou Reed is a genius. And Scott Stapp is cock-rocking bulls**t."
There is only one person who I want to write my obituary and that’s Rax King. She really knows how to pamper you as you’re enjoying the fruits of the dark side.
There is only one person who I want to write my obituary and that’s Rax King. She really knows how to pamper you as you’re enjoying the fruits of the dark side.
January 14, 2022
The blurb says this is irreverent and charming. Yes to irreverent and NO to the charming. With some understanding of the self hatred and lack of self respect that Rax has, she proceeds to chronicle in great detail her sexual exploits mainly with strangers and men who are totally unworthy with only a sex organ to recommend them. This is not tacky….this is sad and pitiful.
October 14, 2025
I loved this. King talks about things being "perfect" vs. things being "good" - I love that framework and I love this book, which is very much perfect for me. I felt so seen and I laughed out loud more than once while listening to this - I live in Germany, so the way people reacted to that were as expected.
October 29, 2021
(3.5 stars more like)
This felt like the author really wanted to write two books; Essays to Tacky Culture and Sexploits/Near Love Stories. Honestly i would be down to read either book from this author. Her writing was fun and fresh and kept me reading even when i didn’t relate to her experiences, but i was a little disappointed that it felt like i didn’t get what i expected? Like the book starts out REALLY strong, then there’s a really creative “ode to warm vanilla sugar”, and then there’s like a sexventure memoir broken up into chapters that are each differentiated by a different tacky pop culture phenomena (usually a tv show) - with no chronological order so you kind of just have to vibe.
I would have LOVED if the beginning/ode part of the book continued as different essays and creative pieces (more of these!! i loved that!!!) as a WHOLE book, OR an entire book that was a chronological romp through the author’s sexploits that didn’t need to be loosely tied to a 2000s tv show.
Anyway, what i’m saying is i really liked this at the concept/beginning and then my passion fizzled out by the end...but the book was a fun read the whole time so i can confidently say i would read something else by this author in the future.
This book was pretty good. i didn’t really relate to any of the author’s experience’s, nor do i know who she is, nor did i relate to any of the 2000s pop culture references (i just missed most of them in my life), and yet i read the book in two days and couldn’t seem to pull myself away from the world the author was giving to me.
Cool book, would have been better if it was 2 different books 🤷🏻♀️
This felt like the author really wanted to write two books; Essays to Tacky Culture and Sexploits/Near Love Stories. Honestly i would be down to read either book from this author. Her writing was fun and fresh and kept me reading even when i didn’t relate to her experiences, but i was a little disappointed that it felt like i didn’t get what i expected? Like the book starts out REALLY strong, then there’s a really creative “ode to warm vanilla sugar”, and then there’s like a sexventure memoir broken up into chapters that are each differentiated by a different tacky pop culture phenomena (usually a tv show) - with no chronological order so you kind of just have to vibe.
I would have LOVED if the beginning/ode part of the book continued as different essays and creative pieces (more of these!! i loved that!!!) as a WHOLE book, OR an entire book that was a chronological romp through the author’s sexploits that didn’t need to be loosely tied to a 2000s tv show.
Anyway, what i’m saying is i really liked this at the concept/beginning and then my passion fizzled out by the end...but the book was a fun read the whole time so i can confidently say i would read something else by this author in the future.
This book was pretty good. i didn’t really relate to any of the author’s experience’s, nor do i know who she is, nor did i relate to any of the 2000s pop culture references (i just missed most of them in my life), and yet i read the book in two days and couldn’t seem to pull myself away from the world the author was giving to me.
Cool book, would have been better if it was 2 different books 🤷🏻♀️
September 4, 2022
The synopsis of this book really needs to be edited, it doesn’t represent the book at all. I though it was going to be a nostalgic look at “tacky” things but the book is more so a memoir and the authors sex like. I couldn’t relate to any of the essays, just not a book for me.
May 20, 2022
My Tacky™️ moment is closetedly liking Nickelback when the band became uncool overnight while I was in junior high. I watched their music videos [insert “Photograph” meme here] climb the charts every day on MTV’s Total Request Live. Nickelback was also a bonding experience for my family (which eventually fell apart lol). Every time we rode in my dad’s Honda Ridgeline, we’d sing along to Chad’s raspy croon. “This is how - you remind me - of what I really am.”
Then one day I woke up and Nickelback was no longer ~in~. They became passé, and for what? My family and I continued to enjoy them (my favorite song being the underrated single “Someday”), just not in the hallways of my middle school. (EDIT: Actually, my sister researched them for a music class project and her homemade poster did, in fact, hang in the school hallway.)
Like King points out in these essays (which all share a common denominator of sex), tacky people/places/things of the early aughts are now back in style: millennials screaming “Rockstar” at karaoke, unironically binge watching Survivor and other reality television, unnecessary feminine hygiene trends that take us back to the scents of Bath & Body Works. So now that we have established a safe space for our culture’s tackiest phenomena, Rax King and I are here to remind you that Cheesecake Factory is GOOD!
Then one day I woke up and Nickelback was no longer ~in~. They became passé, and for what? My family and I continued to enjoy them (my favorite song being the underrated single “Someday”), just not in the hallways of my middle school. (EDIT: Actually, my sister researched them for a music class project and her homemade poster did, in fact, hang in the school hallway.)
Like King points out in these essays (which all share a common denominator of sex), tacky people/places/things of the early aughts are now back in style: millennials screaming “Rockstar” at karaoke, unironically binge watching Survivor and other reality television, unnecessary feminine hygiene trends that take us back to the scents of Bath & Body Works. So now that we have established a safe space for our culture’s tackiest phenomena, Rax King and I are here to remind you that Cheesecake Factory is GOOD!
March 9, 2022
“…she got a belly button ring, which I approve of, the belly button being the tackiest of piercings.”
&
“It’s time to let Meatloaf into your embarrassing little heart”
&
“If you can’t love every open wound on the skin of humanity, then my god what do you love….The more willing we are to inhabit agony and ecstasy and the rest of it, the more popular we become. How magical is that?”
&
“It’s time to let Meatloaf into your embarrassing little heart”
&
“If you can’t love every open wound on the skin of humanity, then my god what do you love….The more willing we are to inhabit agony and ecstasy and the rest of it, the more popular we become. How magical is that?”
January 4, 2022
This book was so weird, and yet oddly comforting. I would recommend it to anyone who writes and has felt joy.
read-sections
May 25, 2022I'm guessing King & I are about the same age as I too succumbed to the perhaps-questionable charms of some of these late 90s/early 00s touchstones myself (Creed, the Josie & the P----cats* film, etc), or was well aware of others who were (jfc Warm Vanilla Sugar really was inescapable for a stretch there, wasn't it?). And had a gloriously tacky grandmother as well, all the more awe-inspiring exactly because she was deliberately unaware that she was.
But I'm now ready to consider these things through a larger cultural lens to try to understand exactly why they meant so much to us of a certain age at a particular moment in time, & King's approach here is more to use these topics to explore her memories & experiences. An attestation more than an analysis, so to speak. Which is perfectly valid, just not for me!
*LOOOOOOOOL I initially couldn't post this review because it "contains blocked content." Okay!
But I'm now ready to consider these things through a larger cultural lens to try to understand exactly why they meant so much to us of a certain age at a particular moment in time, & King's approach here is more to use these topics to explore her memories & experiences. An attestation more than an analysis, so to speak. Which is perfectly valid, just not for me!
*LOOOOOOOOL I initially couldn't post this review because it "contains blocked content." Okay!
January 2, 2026
the parts that really resonated with me were the essays basically saying “have fun and enjoy things,” which is what I feel like the book was marketed as. I couldn’t really relate to some of her more personal stories and don’t think I would enjoy interacting with the author irl. but still some interesting stuff in there
July 4, 2024
Essay collection that is equal parts memoir and love letters to media that has been deemed tacky or uncool - for instance the band Creed, the show Jersey Shore, etc. These pieces are very vulnerable and revelatory and enmeshed in early 2000s culture, and I just loved all of this.
I think a lot about how I (mostly unconsciously) go back certain shows, movies, and books because of the nostalgia they evoke, and while this isn't precisely about nostalgia, it really keys into the way these supposedly "tacky" things play into our true lives.
I think a lot about how I (mostly unconsciously) go back certain shows, movies, and books because of the nostalgia they evoke, and while this isn't precisely about nostalgia, it really keys into the way these supposedly "tacky" things play into our true lives.
December 14, 2021
I picked this up after I heard the author being interviewed on It’s Been A Minute With Sam Sanders. It was a great interview but it also meant I had a completely different idea about what this book was about.
I thought it was going to be an exploration of pop culture but it turned out to be more of a sex memoir. I could potentially be interested in reading the latter but since the blurb didn’t indicate that content, it led to a case of mismanaged expectations.
As to the reason why I read in the first place, King’s ode to tackiness—or really, just loving what you love regardless of what “critics” say—really resonated with me. It’s fun to think through the various musicians, books, TV shows, etc. I love despite what snobs say. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures so I am singing the author’s song. To that end, the chapters on Creed and Meat Loaf were among my favorites. She makes a lovely connection between Jersey Shore and the death of her father. She offers a nuanced portrayal of the intimate partner violence she experienced with her ex-husband and the pop culture pairings for those chapters were unexpected but perfect, especially Guy Fieri. I would have loved more along those lines but what we got is very much worth reading.
As with other essay collections, some are stronger than others and some stick closer to the book’s purported aim than others. I’m not sure what the author thinks about various parts of her history (particularly her experiences with BDSM, her drug use in light of her parents’ former substance abuse, how she feels about infidelity now) and that may be in part because she doesn’t know either. That’s her right but it makes for a less cohesive book. She may have benefitted from more distance between some of the events in question before writing about them.
Content notes: intimate partner violence (chapters titled “The Sims and the Heart-Shaped Bed” and “Love, Peace, and Taco Grease”), infidelity, death of father (COPD), drug use, slut-shaming, fatshaming (including by ex-husband), bullying, BDSM, sex, marijuana, alcohol, inebriation, vomit, parental divorce, ableist language, references to past parental substance abuse
I thought it was going to be an exploration of pop culture but it turned out to be more of a sex memoir. I could potentially be interested in reading the latter but since the blurb didn’t indicate that content, it led to a case of mismanaged expectations.
As to the reason why I read in the first place, King’s ode to tackiness—or really, just loving what you love regardless of what “critics” say—really resonated with me. It’s fun to think through the various musicians, books, TV shows, etc. I love despite what snobs say. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures so I am singing the author’s song. To that end, the chapters on Creed and Meat Loaf were among my favorites. She makes a lovely connection between Jersey Shore and the death of her father. She offers a nuanced portrayal of the intimate partner violence she experienced with her ex-husband and the pop culture pairings for those chapters were unexpected but perfect, especially Guy Fieri. I would have loved more along those lines but what we got is very much worth reading.
As with other essay collections, some are stronger than others and some stick closer to the book’s purported aim than others. I’m not sure what the author thinks about various parts of her history (particularly her experiences with BDSM, her drug use in light of her parents’ former substance abuse, how she feels about infidelity now) and that may be in part because she doesn’t know either. That’s her right but it makes for a less cohesive book. She may have benefitted from more distance between some of the events in question before writing about them.
Content notes: intimate partner violence (chapters titled “The Sims and the Heart-Shaped Bed” and “Love, Peace, and Taco Grease”), infidelity, death of father (COPD), drug use, slut-shaming, fatshaming (including by ex-husband), bullying, BDSM, sex, marijuana, alcohol, inebriation, vomit, parental divorce, ableist language, references to past parental substance abuse
July 9, 2021
Essay collections are usually very hit or miss for me, and whooo boy, is "Tacky" a hit.
Rax King's essay collection kicks off with a very divisive hot take: Creed is good. Whether or not I agree with this, it's absolutely the kind of searing debate I'd get deeply invested in on Twitter or LiveJournal. This was an early sign of how well the text agreed with me, mirroring the giddiness and vaguely embarrassed delight I experienced watching the millennial-geared PEN15 on Hulu. I recognized myself--the media that made me who I am--in nearly all of King's essays.
Her voice was equally sophisticated and (I mean this in the best possible way) stupid. Her candor reminds me of the trivial yet deeply important pop culture arguments I regularly have with close friends. It makes you feel connected, like the story is shared especially for you. King not only manages to strike this delicate balance early on, but she maintains it in each essay. The chapters are packed with honest recollections of the impact (mostly 2000s-ish) media had on her along with deeply personal stories of finding herself through changing relationships, family dynamics, and sexual experiences. She shares the media we all experienced while examining the deeper influence it had on her present-day personhood. Come for the laughs, stay for the "oofs."
This was an absolute joy to read. I cannot recommend it enough. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an advanced copy for review.
Rax King's essay collection kicks off with a very divisive hot take: Creed is good. Whether or not I agree with this, it's absolutely the kind of searing debate I'd get deeply invested in on Twitter or LiveJournal. This was an early sign of how well the text agreed with me, mirroring the giddiness and vaguely embarrassed delight I experienced watching the millennial-geared PEN15 on Hulu. I recognized myself--the media that made me who I am--in nearly all of King's essays.
Her voice was equally sophisticated and (I mean this in the best possible way) stupid. Her candor reminds me of the trivial yet deeply important pop culture arguments I regularly have with close friends. It makes you feel connected, like the story is shared especially for you. King not only manages to strike this delicate balance early on, but she maintains it in each essay. The chapters are packed with honest recollections of the impact (mostly 2000s-ish) media had on her along with deeply personal stories of finding herself through changing relationships, family dynamics, and sexual experiences. She shares the media we all experienced while examining the deeper influence it had on her present-day personhood. Come for the laughs, stay for the "oofs."
This was an absolute joy to read. I cannot recommend it enough. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an advanced copy for review.
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