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A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband With Bettina's Best Recipes
It is a delightful old book written in a quaint story form so as to impart household tips, economy of the household budget and recipes.
- GenresCookbooksNonfiction
479 pages
First published January 1, 1917
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
March 6, 2014
This should be a hoot, and just look at the lovely illustrations: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42868
Opening: "HOME at last!" sighed Bettina happily as the hot and dusty travelers left the train.
"Why that contented sigh?" asked Bob. "Because our wedding trip is over? Well, anyhow, Bettina, it's after five. Shall we have dinner at the hotel?"
"Hotel? Why, Bob! with our house and our dishes and our silver just waiting for us? I'm ashamed of you! We'll take the first car for home—a street-car, not a taxi! Our extravagant days are over, and the time has come to show you that Bettina knows how to keep house. You think that you love me now, Bobby, but just wait till you sit down to a real strawberry shortcake made by a real cook in a real home!"
Half an hour later Bob was unlocking the door of the new brown bungalow. "Isn't it a dear?" cried Bettina proudly. "When we've had time to give it grass and shrubs and flowers and a vegetable garden, no place in town will equal it! And as for porch furniture, how I'd like to get at Mother's attic and transform some of her discarded things!"
"Just now I'd rather get at some of Mother's cooking!" grinned Bob.
It all got a bit samey after a while and the recipes were rather mundane, yet great for a skim through on a north wind day.
A DEDICATION
To every other little bride
Who has a "Bob" to please,
And says she's tried and tried and tried
To cook with skill and ease,
And can't!—we offer here as guide
Bettina's Recipes!
To her whose "Bob" is prone to wear
A sad and hungry look,
Because the maid he thought so fair
Is—well—she just can't cook!
To her we say: do not despair;
Just try Bettina's Book!
Opening: "HOME at last!" sighed Bettina happily as the hot and dusty travelers left the train.
"Why that contented sigh?" asked Bob. "Because our wedding trip is over? Well, anyhow, Bettina, it's after five. Shall we have dinner at the hotel?"
"Hotel? Why, Bob! with our house and our dishes and our silver just waiting for us? I'm ashamed of you! We'll take the first car for home—a street-car, not a taxi! Our extravagant days are over, and the time has come to show you that Bettina knows how to keep house. You think that you love me now, Bobby, but just wait till you sit down to a real strawberry shortcake made by a real cook in a real home!"
Half an hour later Bob was unlocking the door of the new brown bungalow. "Isn't it a dear?" cried Bettina proudly. "When we've had time to give it grass and shrubs and flowers and a vegetable garden, no place in town will equal it! And as for porch furniture, how I'd like to get at Mother's attic and transform some of her discarded things!"
"Just now I'd rather get at some of Mother's cooking!" grinned Bob.
It all got a bit samey after a while and the recipes were rather mundane, yet great for a skim through on a north wind day.
May 13, 2023
I do not criticise the general intention behind this book. In fact, I admire it. I believe that making life better for the person you’ve married, in any conceivable way, is an honourable pursuit.
Written in the style of a semi-novel, the book offers advice on cooking, cleaning and keeping house, relevant to the beginning of the 20th century. The more immediate ways of pleasing your spouse are never mentioned. It’s not that kind of a book.
The protagonist, Bettina (Betty), is a freshly married housewife, who possesses all knowledge pertaining to keeping house. Her cherry preserves are immaculate and her luncheons go smoothly. She’s the Mary Sue of suburban homemakers. She offers tips and recipes to unsuspecting neighbours in such a contrived manner, it makes conversations in the book unintentionally hilarious, or just plain unreadable.
What’s that? You’ve broken a leg and need help? But first, let me tell you about the best way to store fur coats for winter.
Betty also suggests you slap some cottage cheese on old, boiled asparagus, and call it a salad. I recommend you get over it. Many lessons might be drawn from any book, except for Twilight, if you quit being a wuss, and persuade yourself to overlook the cringe.
However, if you’d like to avoid that intellectual risk, I’ve extracted, for your reading pleasure, what seems to be Bettina’s most important advice. Here is what you should do:
1. Impress your husband’s friends with your leftover meals.
2. Serve cold ox tongue to aunt Elizabeth, who doesn’t like you. Slice it thin, sprinkle with chopped parsley, and watch her eat. Practise your detached smile number 3.
3. Overcook your Sunday roast into oblivion. Are we looking at a log of wood, or a piece of cow? If your guests can still tell the difference, the beef hasn’t been in the oven long enough.
4. Proclaim your indifference to monuments of architecture.
5. Establish your alpha-female status, by explaining how to remove grass stains to your desperate friend, who came to you with marital trouble. This shows her, you have no time for pathetic, wimpy shits like her.
6. Tell your husband every single little step you’ve taken to prepare tonight’s dinner. If he’s not pinching the bridge of his nose, with his eyes closed, and his forehead wrinkled in the most profound expression of silent desperation, you’re not being specific enough.
7. In a similar fashion, tell you husband – with generous detail – what steps you’ve taken in your homemaking, to save him money. He’ll be back in that office, making more dough, sooner than you can say: I’ve reused the pineapple juice.
8. Lunch-shame other housewives by serving them no fewer than seven courses, in a theme of white and pink flowers.
9. Spend some time inhaling flammable vapours, as you clean your white gloves with gasoline in your kitchen. Live dangerously. Leave the water heater flame on.
10. Finally: people say, a homemaker’s life is boring. Prove them wrong. Serve your guests crab meat, which – considering you only have an icebox in 1917 – might have or might not have been properly chilled. Now every second’s a gamble.
Written in the style of a semi-novel, the book offers advice on cooking, cleaning and keeping house, relevant to the beginning of the 20th century. The more immediate ways of pleasing your spouse are never mentioned. It’s not that kind of a book.
The protagonist, Bettina (Betty), is a freshly married housewife, who possesses all knowledge pertaining to keeping house. Her cherry preserves are immaculate and her luncheons go smoothly. She’s the Mary Sue of suburban homemakers. She offers tips and recipes to unsuspecting neighbours in such a contrived manner, it makes conversations in the book unintentionally hilarious, or just plain unreadable.
What’s that? You’ve broken a leg and need help? But first, let me tell you about the best way to store fur coats for winter.
Betty also suggests you slap some cottage cheese on old, boiled asparagus, and call it a salad. I recommend you get over it. Many lessons might be drawn from any book, except for Twilight, if you quit being a wuss, and persuade yourself to overlook the cringe.
However, if you’d like to avoid that intellectual risk, I’ve extracted, for your reading pleasure, what seems to be Bettina’s most important advice. Here is what you should do:
1. Impress your husband’s friends with your leftover meals.
2. Serve cold ox tongue to aunt Elizabeth, who doesn’t like you. Slice it thin, sprinkle with chopped parsley, and watch her eat. Practise your detached smile number 3.
3. Overcook your Sunday roast into oblivion. Are we looking at a log of wood, or a piece of cow? If your guests can still tell the difference, the beef hasn’t been in the oven long enough.
4. Proclaim your indifference to monuments of architecture.
5. Establish your alpha-female status, by explaining how to remove grass stains to your desperate friend, who came to you with marital trouble. This shows her, you have no time for pathetic, wimpy shits like her.
6. Tell your husband every single little step you’ve taken to prepare tonight’s dinner. If he’s not pinching the bridge of his nose, with his eyes closed, and his forehead wrinkled in the most profound expression of silent desperation, you’re not being specific enough.
7. In a similar fashion, tell you husband – with generous detail – what steps you’ve taken in your homemaking, to save him money. He’ll be back in that office, making more dough, sooner than you can say: I’ve reused the pineapple juice.
8. Lunch-shame other housewives by serving them no fewer than seven courses, in a theme of white and pink flowers.
9. Spend some time inhaling flammable vapours, as you clean your white gloves with gasoline in your kitchen. Live dangerously. Leave the water heater flame on.
10. Finally: people say, a homemaker’s life is boring. Prove them wrong. Serve your guests crab meat, which – considering you only have an icebox in 1917 – might have or might not have been properly chilled. Now every second’s a gamble.
June 17, 2014
My husband and I read this book aloud to each other 40 years ago and laughed 'til we cried. A very fond memory for me now that he has passed on....And for all the jokes we made at Bob and Bettina's expense, we did develop a soft spot for them.....I only recently re-visited the book and finally solved the mystery of the "fireless cooker". 'Hadn't thought about it in years but we didn't know what that was. Ah, the wonder of the internet.....Anyway, it might seem ridiculous to some folks, but if you read this book with an open mind and a sense of humor, it's very entertaining.
April 30, 2018
This is an odd one. Is it a cookbook framed as a novel or a novel framed as a cookbook? We get over a hundred little chapters, each one about a day in the first year of Bettina and Bob's married life, complete with the menu for the day and the relevant recipes.
This is very much a book of its time, and as such, I found the menus and recipes fascinating. By modern standards, the menus were heavy on meat and starches, and light on fruit and non-starchy vegetables. Canned pineapple was about as exotic an ingredient as appeared, and herbs and spices were in short supply. This was an era when an icebox was literally that: a box kept chilled with ice. And one of Bettina's favorite cooking devices was her 'fireless cooker', which I had to Google. (Turns out it's just an insulated box into which one could put a soup or stew that had already been brought to a simmer and allow it to continue cooking in its residual heat. Kind of like a slow cooker, but without its own power supply. I'm a little surprised they disappeared, but they're making a comeback, e.g., in Kenya: https://practicalaction.org/fireless-...).
The recipes themselves are simple and basic, and with the exception of the occasional canned ingredient, devoid of processed foods. (I don't think Bettina buys bread!)
As a novel, it's thin: there are no conflicts, no troubles to be met. Bettina is self-appointed doyenne to several of her recently-married or about-to-be married friends, giving them guidance on setting up their kitchens and generously sharing her recipes. She is, throughout, enchanted with her own cleverness and economy.
Seriously, this should be irritating as all get out, but instead, I found it charming!
This is very much a book of its time, and as such, I found the menus and recipes fascinating. By modern standards, the menus were heavy on meat and starches, and light on fruit and non-starchy vegetables. Canned pineapple was about as exotic an ingredient as appeared, and herbs and spices were in short supply. This was an era when an icebox was literally that: a box kept chilled with ice. And one of Bettina's favorite cooking devices was her 'fireless cooker', which I had to Google. (Turns out it's just an insulated box into which one could put a soup or stew that had already been brought to a simmer and allow it to continue cooking in its residual heat. Kind of like a slow cooker, but without its own power supply. I'm a little surprised they disappeared, but they're making a comeback, e.g., in Kenya: https://practicalaction.org/fireless-...).
The recipes themselves are simple and basic, and with the exception of the occasional canned ingredient, devoid of processed foods. (I don't think Bettina buys bread!)
As a novel, it's thin: there are no conflicts, no troubles to be met. Bettina is self-appointed doyenne to several of her recently-married or about-to-be married friends, giving them guidance on setting up their kitchens and generously sharing her recipes. She is, throughout, enchanted with her own cleverness and economy.
Seriously, this should be irritating as all get out, but instead, I found it charming!
February 19, 2015
A pleased Good Reads winner. Years ago I came across a 1917 version of the same title at a yard sale in the cookbook section. I never read the book entirely at that point for fear of damaging the book considering it's age. I was not aware of a republication in 2012 until I won a copy. This is more than just a vintage cookbook with simple adaptable recipes. It is the story of Bettina and Bob's first year of marriage with a dessert at every meal. Not only is it a delightful sample of recipes from the early 1900's it also captures the culture and tone of the time. Charming illustrations.
April 21, 2019
I read the original version, and it is charming! Between the constant "....and so easy to make!" comments of Bettina, and her many references to her fireless cooker (which as far as I can tell, used heated stones) you'd think this would come off as prissy and know-it-all. Well, it does, but in a fun way. The recipes are easily adapted for modern use, and the little stories that begin each chapter are entertaining and often contain cute ideas or household hints. Not to mention someone said "'de-licious!' with a Teddy-fied grin" and I GOT THAT REFERENCE.
April 4, 2022
"Place [corn] on an asbestos mat to prevent burning".
Sounds safe!
Sounds safe!
April 22, 2013
Half storybook, half cookbook, all bizarre. So worth it for all of the delightful bafflement any given sentance will create
I've read this book to most of my family and roommates, they all have reacted with varying levels of disgust, confusion and most puzzling a new obsession with pimentos (Those red things in olives). The supporting characters seem to be in a constant state of bewilderment as well, only saved from lives of misery by Bettina's instance on table cloth hemming parties and sandwiches thinly spread with mayonnaise and not much else.
One day I will cook a whole meal out of here, the ingredients will invariably be white sauce, pimentos and bread crumbs with a half cup of tuna or chocolate or something for flavor.
I've read this book to most of my family and roommates, they all have reacted with varying levels of disgust, confusion and most puzzling a new obsession with pimentos (Those red things in olives). The supporting characters seem to be in a constant state of bewilderment as well, only saved from lives of misery by Bettina's instance on table cloth hemming parties and sandwiches thinly spread with mayonnaise and not much else.
One day I will cook a whole meal out of here, the ingredients will invariably be white sauce, pimentos and bread crumbs with a half cup of tuna or chocolate or something for flavor.
Read
February 26, 2015I have a very old edition of this book. I'm not sure if it's a first edition, but it's from at least 1924.
I enjoy this book because it reminds me so much of my grandmother: it is a good representation of her generation and her sweet, domestic nature. For me, this book is a reflection of the culture of her time rather than a cookbook.
While it's not a reflection of the culture of my time at all, I still enjoy reading this book as a literary curiosity. Some of the recipes are pretty good, too.
I enjoy this book because it reminds me so much of my grandmother: it is a good representation of her generation and her sweet, domestic nature. For me, this book is a reflection of the culture of her time rather than a cookbook.
While it's not a reflection of the culture of my time at all, I still enjoy reading this book as a literary curiosity. Some of the recipes are pretty good, too.
November 20, 2015
Oh, Bettina, you're just as insufferably perfect and full of good advice as ever and your daughter is growing up just like you.
This 1922 book is hard to find but you can download a PDF from Google Books here:
https://books.google.com/books?id=F-E...
This 1922 book is hard to find but you can download a PDF from Google Books here:
https://books.google.com/books?id=F-E...
April 4, 2011
Loved this book. Some days I really want to be Bettina....
I totally want to read the sequel: 1000 Ways to Please a Family....
I totally want to read the sequel: 1000 Ways to Please a Family....
October 27, 2011
My favorite book to give to a bride-to-be.
April 11, 2024
Don't let the title scare you! It's actually very adorable. It's essentially a cookbook, but in story format. You follow Bettina and her husband, Bob, from the moment they step off the train at the conclusion of their honeymoon. She's already very good at homemaking (well, she put in the work to learn what she could before getting married) and she does help some of her female friends learn to keep house economically, but she's not judgmental about it. Each section concludes with a menu and recipes relevant to the story.
Bettina and Bob are an ADORABLE couple, he clearly adores his wife and values her, and she feels the same toward him.
The book was written in... the 19-teens or 1920s. I haven't found anything objectionable in the stories yet. Some of the recipes aren't appetizing, but society's tastes change over time, so that's to be expected.
All in all, a delightful read. I bookmarked a few of the recipes so far to write down later.
I found it on the Project Gutenberg website, and downloaded it as an EPUB file and sent it to my kindle app on my phone.
Bettina and Bob are an ADORABLE couple, he clearly adores his wife and values her, and she feels the same toward him.
The book was written in... the 19-teens or 1920s. I haven't found anything objectionable in the stories yet. Some of the recipes aren't appetizing, but society's tastes change over time, so that's to be expected.
All in all, a delightful read. I bookmarked a few of the recipes so far to write down later.
I found it on the Project Gutenberg website, and downloaded it as an EPUB file and sent it to my kindle app on my phone.
January 21, 2021
“Home at last!" sighed Bettina happily as the hot and dusty travelers left the train.
"Why that contented sigh?" asked Bob. "Because our wedding trip is over? Well, anyhow, Bettina, it's after five. Shall we have dinner at the hotel?”
“Hotel? Why, Bob! With our house and our dishes and our silver just waiting for us? I'm ashamed of you! ·We'll take the first car for home – a streetcar, not a taxi! Our extravagant days are over . . .”
And so begins this quite lovely cookbook, first published in 1917, and prettily illustrated with delightful drawings of the everyday life of newlyweds, Bob and Bettina.
The reader not only follows the adventures of the smart housewife, Bettina, but also gets to know Bob, their family, and friends through little stories of Sunday dinners, bridal showers, last-minute guests, fussy relatives, household economy, shopping, and many more scenarios. There also are hints on how to decorate for those special luncheons and parties.
I found that many – most – recipes within this book are definitely quite usable in today’s kitchen. One might need make a few adjustments on products (if they are readily available; some might need research) and seasonings to taste, but overall, this book is right up my alley. Home cooked meals and baked items from scratch are so easy to prepare, even in today’s busy world (it takes only an extra 10 or so minutes extra to prepare meals from scratch, rather than throwing a TV dinner in the microwave or opening cans; this is from my first-hand experience), and meals are much healthier when not using canned or processed ingredients. This cookbook shows how easy it all is.
Moreover, each chapter points out the ease of meal preparation and economy, with corresponding stories and charming characters. This book is a hit with me.
💥 Recommended. I believe I found my copy through GutenbuergProject.org.
"Why that contented sigh?" asked Bob. "Because our wedding trip is over? Well, anyhow, Bettina, it's after five. Shall we have dinner at the hotel?”
“Hotel? Why, Bob! With our house and our dishes and our silver just waiting for us? I'm ashamed of you! ·We'll take the first car for home – a streetcar, not a taxi! Our extravagant days are over . . .”
And so begins this quite lovely cookbook, first published in 1917, and prettily illustrated with delightful drawings of the everyday life of newlyweds, Bob and Bettina.
The reader not only follows the adventures of the smart housewife, Bettina, but also gets to know Bob, their family, and friends through little stories of Sunday dinners, bridal showers, last-minute guests, fussy relatives, household economy, shopping, and many more scenarios. There also are hints on how to decorate for those special luncheons and parties.
I found that many – most – recipes within this book are definitely quite usable in today’s kitchen. One might need make a few adjustments on products (if they are readily available; some might need research) and seasonings to taste, but overall, this book is right up my alley. Home cooked meals and baked items from scratch are so easy to prepare, even in today’s busy world (it takes only an extra 10 or so minutes extra to prepare meals from scratch, rather than throwing a TV dinner in the microwave or opening cans; this is from my first-hand experience), and meals are much healthier when not using canned or processed ingredients. This cookbook shows how easy it all is.
Moreover, each chapter points out the ease of meal preparation and economy, with corresponding stories and charming characters. This book is a hit with me.
💥 Recommended. I believe I found my copy through GutenbuergProject.org.
I read this book first in May 2016 and published my review, noticed it disappeared (?) from here, so I reread it and found it to be just as good as the first time:
September 2, 2025
A classic 1917 cookbook which includes Bettina's recipes, featuring the romance of cookery and housekeeping as well as tips for managing a household economically with joy.
"No, you cannot live on kisses,
Though the honeymoon is sweet,
Harken, brides, a true word
this is,—
Even lovers have to eat".
"No, you cannot live on kisses,
Though the honeymoon is sweet,
Harken, brides, a true word
this is,—
Even lovers have to eat".
June 16, 2017
Simply delightful! Bettina was making her best attempt to please her Bob, and I was doing likewise. I read a chapter a day (pretty much) throughout my first year of marriage. Lots of chuckles! The book belonged to my grandmother, and she presented it to me.
September 7, 2018
Pretty amusing novel/cookbook about a very nice couple's first year of marriage. Some good-sounding, inventive recipes, too. This book will undoubtedly be of value if I ever set up housekeeping.
May 17, 2019
Great vintage recipes were great but so much salt, pepper and paprika(?)
June 4, 2022
delightfully dated
February 24, 2023
Great fun books, Give you great ideas on cooking, recipes and all around daily good advice. I really enjoyed this book.
January 18, 2024
Really sweet glimpse at the sitcom version of young married life in 1917. Some things were much more difficult back then but life was certainly much simpler!
August 17, 2024
I loved reading this book. It was such fun and entertaining.
July 6, 2017
The year is 1917. Bettina is a newlywed, but she somehow knows everything there is to know about cooking and housekeeping, and friends flock to her for advice. Covering the first year of Bettina and Bob's marriage, we follow them through meals, parties, houseguests, friends' weddings, and even a bit of matchmaking. Household tips are not very subtly inserted into each part of the story, and each chapter ends with Bettina's recipes.
I got no end of fun out of this book in the beginning, but it's a bit long and started feeling repetitive after awhile.
You can read this book online or download it for your ereader here: http://www.archive.org/details/thousa...
Priceless.
I got no end of fun out of this book in the beginning, but it's a bit long and started feeling repetitive after awhile.
You can read this book online or download it for your ereader here: http://www.archive.org/details/thousa...
Priceless.
July 13, 2013
This book reads like a cookery book written by one of the Famous Five when grown up and just married. Very 1930s fluffy air head women who have nothing more in their heads than the excitement of their kitchen , shopping and keeping house. The modern woman would recoil in horror! Never the less the book has it's own particular charm and the illustrations are sweet . The recipes are particular to that era and Bob does say that he is putting on weight! They are however lacking the sugars , e numbers, high cholesterol busting of the modern diet so perhaps we have something to learn from that. Read this with a certain amount of humour and you will have the right mind set to tackle this book .
October 15, 2009
Oh, Yuletide. My everlasting thanks for introducing this book to me. It's fabulous. I don't even know how to categorize it. It's a recipe book, but it's also the story of Bettina as a wife and how cooking for her husband and teaching all of her friends the right way to do things makes her life worthwhile and everything revolves around the recipes and her frugality. I'm reading this like how it would be read on an OTR women's program and I love it. You can read it, too: http://www.archive.org/details/thousa...
June 5, 2015
I won this book for free through a goodreads giveaway. It was a very charming vintage cookbook that reads through like a novel. I loved following the story of Bettiana's first year of marriage and also the stories of each of her friends who came to learn from her the secrets to keeping house. The way she cooked and the things she did were interesting to me, though I think I'll stick to cooking with a microwave and electric oven. It was a little slow to read through, though each chapter went by so fast.
August 11, 2010
Wowzaroonie...this is an unbelievably ridiculous read. I can not believe that, even at the turn of the last century, people accepted the "dialog" in these recipe intros. I must give you an example....just visit
http://bit.ly/9kdy0W
And head to, say, page 17. Though ALL the pages are like that!
http://bit.ly/9kdy0W
And head to, say, page 17. Though ALL the pages are like that!
May 19, 2013
My mom gave me a beat-up, written in copy of this book that belonged to my great great Aunt. My friend Carolyn and I have had no end in laughing at the language and the stories. A fantastic find and look into the time period!
March 24, 2015
very entertaining book. I won it on goodreads. I cant wait to try and make some of the things in this book! It is not the culture now a days which makes it more interesting. again some of the recipes look very good and i will be trying!
Want to read
September 17, 2010sounds like a fascinating historical snapshot!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews