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Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God
PLEASE READ: "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God" is Dick Cody Heese's gravest injustice before the literary world. In this near-exact retelling of Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel, Heese adds one poorly-integrated sentence to each chapter inferring that Mr. Darcy possesses insanely bodacious vaping skills. The well-loved tale of various dinner invitations and ill-conceived marriage proposals takes no benefit from Mr. Heese's contributions. Fans of the original will loathe this derivative work entirely, and the author profusely apologizes to Ms. Austen and her estate for this indiscretion. Rightly banished to the annals of self-publishing by every major book distributor, the disreputable Dick Cody Heese is quickly descending into new, subterranean depths of awful parody with his latest writing.
Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby Kevin," and "Frankenstein: But the Monster is Allergic to Gluten."
Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby Kevin," and "Frankenstein: But the Monster is Allergic to Gluten."
366 pages, Paperback
First published May 16, 2021
11 people are currently reading
493 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
tbr-other
July 20, 2021I have not read Pride and Prejudice.
I have always wanted to read Pride and Prejudice.
I have an absolutely horrific sense of humour.
This book is verbatim Pride and Prejudice, except with occassional references to Mr Darcy being a vape god.
Put all these facts together, and what do you get?
Yep, that's right. The first time I read Pride and Prejudice, it's going to be as Pride and Prejudice: But Mr Darcy Is A Vape God.
Yes, I'm the worst person alive. Yes, the fact that these books are only available in print for ten quid a pop is a clear cash grab by the author, preying on people as terrible as me. But I'm still going to do it.
I have always wanted to read Pride and Prejudice.
I have an absolutely horrific sense of humour.
This book is verbatim Pride and Prejudice, except with occassional references to Mr Darcy being a vape god.
Put all these facts together, and what do you get?
Yep, that's right. The first time I read Pride and Prejudice, it's going to be as Pride and Prejudice: But Mr Darcy Is A Vape God.
Yes, I'm the worst person alive. Yes, the fact that these books are only available in print for ten quid a pop is a clear cash grab by the author, preying on people as terrible as me. But I'm still going to do it.
Want to read
July 20, 2021WHAT IS THIS HELPSPBSGSN
September 5, 2021
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune and bodacious vaping abilities, must be in want of a wife."
If Jane Austen read that, I think she would cry. 10/10
If Jane Austen read that, I think she would cry. 10/10
July 15, 2022
He really only put one sentence about vaping in every chapter, which I think is great because I’ll be reading and forget that I’m not just reading the original Pride and Prejudice and all of a sudden they’ll be a sentence like “Mr. Darcy proceeded to do that trick where you blow a vape ring through another vale ring” and it’ll jump scare me every time!!!
January 23, 2023
Because you only get one reference per chapter it’s really easy to forget you aren’t reading the normal version and you’ll get slapped in the face with the most out of pocket vape comment. I highly recommend it.
June 17, 2021
How does this have no ratings?? Absolute 10/10 no notes
March 3, 2024
I started reading this book with the intention of underlining every additional vape related sentence, but that turned into me underlining every funny sentence Jane Austen wrote, and by the last few chapters I was practically underlining every line because I loved them all. I don’t know how I forgot that pride and prejudice is a funny book! I was laughing out loud while reading this. So many parts are funny but some of the highlights are:
“Mary wished to say something sensible, but knew not how.”
“Well he certainly is very agreeable, and I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person.”
“…he was an indolent man, who lived only to eat, drink, and play at cards; who, when he found her to prefer a plain dish to a ragout, had nothing to say to her.”
“In a country neighborhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society, and the vape pens you find in the convenience stores tend to be off-brand and have literally exploded in people’s hands at time.”
That last one was a bonus. I seriously kept forgetting I was reading the vape edition of this book and so I was caught off guard every single time it mentioned mango pods. I’m so happy this book exists.
“Mary wished to say something sensible, but knew not how.”
“Well he certainly is very agreeable, and I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person.”
“…he was an indolent man, who lived only to eat, drink, and play at cards; who, when he found her to prefer a plain dish to a ragout, had nothing to say to her.”
“In a country neighborhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society, and the vape pens you find in the convenience stores tend to be off-brand and have literally exploded in people’s hands at time.”
That last one was a bonus. I seriously kept forgetting I was reading the vape edition of this book and so I was caught off guard every single time it mentioned mango pods. I’m so happy this book exists.
June 24, 2021
I've never read the original but I really feel like this was most likely better.
One of my favorite quotes:
' "All this she most posses," added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading and the deterioration of her lungs my excessive vaping." '
One of my favorite quotes:
' "All this she most posses," added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading and the deterioration of her lungs my excessive vaping." '
September 15, 2023
Keep up those bodacious clouds and sick O’s Mr. Darcy
Want to read
June 24, 2021vape god????
mr darcy???
i-
mr darcy???
i-
November 12, 2021
10/10 best book ever written
June 9, 2025
I want to give it 5 ⭐️s because (a) Pride & Prejudice is an all-time favorite; and (b) so many of the vaping bits were laugh out loud funny. However, the delivery of this could have been 10x better if there had been a little bit of intentionality to where the vape bits were inserted into the story. There were a couple moments where it actually changed the characters in disservice to the plot and character development.
I think one can take on a creative project like this in a much more mindful way. I’m probably missing the point entirely and taking this too seriously, but I digress.
I think one can take on a creative project like this in a much more mindful way. I’m probably missing the point entirely and taking this too seriously, but I digress.
December 31, 2023
That was so stupid…everyone needs to read it. 5/5
January 9, 2022
4.0
It does what it says in the title. Can't really deviate much from that. Needs more vaping scenes but they were hilarious, just wish the vaping was more inappropriate cause it would have caused absolute chaos.
It does what it says in the title. Can't really deviate much from that. Needs more vaping scenes but they were hilarious, just wish the vaping was more inappropriate cause it would have caused absolute chaos.
June 22, 2025
Definitely one of my favorite books. Mr. Darcy being a vape god adds a newfound depth to this timeless classic.
September 30, 2023
Distinctly improved by the vape references and even better than i remembered it
November 22, 2024
"I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation, although my love for you has never surpassed my love for inhaling copious amounts of crème brûlée pods with the boys."
Top tier book 10/10 no notes
Top tier book 10/10 no notes
September 30, 2021
Just as good as the original but expounds upon the vaping character trait that makes Darcy the man that he is.
Jane Austen excluded from her original manuscript this vaping theme perhaps because it was too brash or risky for the time in which she occupied
Jane Austen excluded from her original manuscript this vaping theme perhaps because it was too brash or risky for the time in which she occupied
July 6, 2021
this was actually perfect
Read
January 7, 2026“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation, although my love for you has never surpassed my love for inhaling copious amounts of crème brûlée pods with the boys.”
Everyone needs a Mr. Darcy & his favorite vape Hilary Puff in their life.
Seriously, this is the best way to experience pride & prejudice.
Throughout the story you entirely forget about the version you’re holding in your hands. Then the various, absurd vape references will whiplash you back into reality and it’s so out of pocket.
Mr. Dick C.Heese you are a comedic genius making the best out of public domain and capitalism.
So all in all, thanks to the added passages it was quite a fun read and I managed to finish the book this time.
Still, my initial opinion about the original remains; I appreciate the book itself and can acknowledge its quality, but somehow it’s just not for me.
Everyone needs a Mr. Darcy & his favorite vape Hilary Puff in their life.
Seriously, this is the best way to experience pride & prejudice.
Throughout the story you entirely forget about the version you’re holding in your hands. Then the various, absurd vape references will whiplash you back into reality and it’s so out of pocket.
Mr. Dick C.Heese you are a comedic genius making the best out of public domain and capitalism.
So all in all, thanks to the added passages it was quite a fun read and I managed to finish the book this time.
Still, my initial opinion about the original remains; I appreciate the book itself and can acknowledge its quality, but somehow it’s just not for me.
July 8, 2021
the vape jokes make it just so hilarious, giving as a gift and its like limited addition? so very sick
January 29, 2022
This is honestly a masterpiece.
December 16, 2022
This was a true masterpiece! I very much we enjoyed looking for Mr. Hesse’s creative additions to this classic text. 10/10 will be reading again
July 4, 2023
I absolutely hate P & P but the vape references allowed me to make it through the whole book this time.
September 11, 2023
This should be required reading in all high schools. What a great way to trick teenagers to read real literature. Teachers make note!
November 16, 2023
a literary masterpiece beyond compare
May 4, 2024
I love it when she’s so mean. This book made me more delusional. It was like watching someone leash train a feral dog.
July 24, 2024
the only way I will get through many classics I fear
January 2, 2025
Immaculate.
February 26, 2025
This is the future Jane would've wanted.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews