The Tears of a Man Flow Inward: Growing Up in the Civil War in Burundi

by Pacifique Irankunda

A prize-winning young author tells the moving story of growing up during Burundi's civil war in a powerful memoir hailed as "a jewel of a book" (Margaret MacMillan)

When I felt tears streaming down, I wiped my eyes and repeated to myself what I heard the adults say, that the tears of a man flow inward.

As a little boy, Pacifique Irankunda lived through the thirteen-year civil war in Burundi, the war that upended his home and family and destroyed Burundi's beautiful culture and traditions. He hid and watched as military units destroyed his village. Paci's extraordinary and wise mother, one of the inspiring beacons of light in this book, led her children and others in ingenious acts of survival and kindness, through her unique ability to bring out the good in people, generosity towards even the soldiers who threatened them, and in her role as a Mushingantahe, an honorary title for a chosen leader in the village. Paci and his brother slept in the woods on nights when they heard shooting and violence. From his own memories and those of his family, he tells this story of surviving the vicious conflict between ethnic divisions in a country that once had a rich and beautiful culture of belief and traditions that was lost in the aftermath of the country's destructive history of colonialism.

Written in lyrical prose, The Tears of a Man Flow Inward gives us a rare window into what it means to come of age in dark times, and how light can be found even in the midst of violence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Africa, Burundi, History, Biography Memoir, War

224 pages, Hardcover

First published March 29, 2022

Reviews

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 3 out of 5]

A year or so ago, my son and wife, already parents of five, adopted a young five year old, from Burundi. His mother had been killed and his aunt couldn't take care of him. His name is Regis andis called Regi. He has already learned a great deal of English. He is a welcome addition to our family.

Until then I knew little of this country, in fact had ever heard of it, so when I saw this book I knew I had to read it. Or rather I listened to it. The accent made it difficult at times but also more authentic. I rewound, a lot. So many good things missed in this culture, when this long war broke out. 13 years.A rich culture, storytelling passed down all wiped out, turning to violence and terror.His mother was the village leader and she did her best to help when needed. Until her home was destroyed. A powerful memoir, personal anecdotes mixed with a rich history. He fled when a teenager user the mentorship of Tracy Kidder.

I just wish it had been linear, it was so confusing the way he would skip around. Might have been easier to read this one but still valuable to read about the country, the origin of my newest grandchild.

[Dawn Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read Around the World: Burundi

I knew very little about Burundi going into this book and I come out of it with a little more knowledge and a deep respect and sorrow for the people who live there and all they have suffered and endured simply by being. Much like Rwanda and Congo [which the author mentions several times], Burundi has been ravaged by war and has displaced many of the people who call it home. The stories the author tells are both hair-raising and heartbreaking and I am so glad he finally found safety and a little bit of peace.

For the most part this is a very good if albeit rough read. Books like this are always tough to read as they describe a life most of the reading world will [thankfully] never know. Listening to the author narrate this book was also particularly heart-wrenching as you could hear the emotion in his voice multiple times as he described things he and his family endured and the love he still has for his country [a note: IF you listen to the audiobook be prepared. Pacifique speaks amazing English, but he does have a very strong accent and I had to look up several places where my old ears could not discern what he was saying. I would recommend having a copy of the book nearby as you listen as it will helpful. It is only a handful of times - again, his English is amazing and I would highly recommend the narration to anyone. It is just so amazing to hear this story in his own beautiful voice.].

My only issue was towards the end of the book it seemed to take a rambling turn and I was never really sure just where we were in the story anymore - what starts out as linear, does not end that way. It was really the only issue I had in an otherwise deeply compelling read. The one story of the author and a friend at school and the video games struck a deep chord with me and is one of the stories that I think will stay with me for forever. You will not read this and remained unchanged.

Thank you to NetGalley, Pacifique Irankunda, and Random House Publishing House - Random House for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Skip · Rating 2 out of 5]

The war between the Tutsi and Hutu tribes has been written numerous times, but in my experience from the Rwandan perspective. Author Pacifique Irankunda tells the story from the country of Burundi, and the civil war there, which started in his childhood into his later formative years. and coming of age. His life was difficult, moving around among relatives, sleeping in the forest, and never being sure if today was going to be the last day of your life. The structure of the book was a challenge as Irankunda would move back and forth between the present and past and characters would appear and disappear without explanation. While perhaps useful as a documentary of African trauma, it was not particularly engaging for readers.

[Divine Weber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not just a personal account of a child’s experience of civil war and the impacts of that in adulthood, or just an abridged political history of Burundi, but also a very tender and earnest endeavor to, through storytelling, preserve and reignite a culture obliterated by the unique evil of Belgian colonialism and the ensuing civil unrest created by it. I have personally been thinking a lot about non-western governance structures and was deeply invested in the author’s personal mission to restore the institution of the Bashingantahe in Burundi that is a central thread in the book, and I wondered why this thread in the book ended up fizzled out with no resolution.

Overall, It’s very upsetting to read about war and genocide in the retrospective and know they already happened and there’s nothing we can do to stop them. Some moments were just absolutely heartbreaking and awareness of these kinds of things is so important.

I didn’t know about Burundi’s ties to the Rwandan genocide and wasn’t expecting so much of those aftershocks to mirror those that reverberate through the Democratic Republic of Congo. So many moments were shots to my chest as someone a child of Congolese immigrants who has grown up terrified of doing any deep dive into the terrible history behind the country but is also holding onto tidbits of the culture I can only experience through stories from my parents. The tense political and gorgeous cultural histories of Burundi and Congo are entwined so I felt connected to my own familial history reading this. That is why I’m giving it five stars for experience.

The structure of this book is at time unfocused and there is arguably a lack of creativity to the writing. In key moments, it’s missing details in a way that was distracting, these were points that would’ve helped me understand from a logistical standpoint how certain things took place. It doesn’t make the unfathomable any more fathomable which is what I had originally wanted when I opened this book. Maybe that’s just the way of war and genocide? When it’s fathomable we can prevent it but when it’s fathomable we also lose an ability to be shocked by it and thus moved by it? A working thesis…

I’m looking for equivalent personal narratives about growing up in the DRC.

[Angela]

The structure of the book was a challenge as the author would vacillate between the present/ past (sometimes without clear definition) and characters would appear and disappear without explanation.

Personally challenging for me was the audiobook’s narrator (possibly the author - unclear). Their accent was quite thick for me and I found my mind wandering quite often which also didn’t help matters.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really powerful and important story about discovering and preserving one’s culture in the face of colonialism and civil war.

[Chris Jaffe · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's an interesting book. It's a book with good points. It's a book I wanted to like more than I did. Ultimately, it's a disjointed book.

Irankunda was five years old when a civil war broke out in his Burundi - and it lasted for 13 years. This book talks about that war a little bit. It talks about traditional Burundi culture a little bit. It talks about the author's family a little bit. It talks about his time in the US a little bit. It's never bad, but it never really feels like it comes together. It reads like a random collection of notes on his own personal life and thoughts.

It's interesting to learn about the traditional Burundian judges, the Bashingantahe. It's also nice when Irankunda writes about the tradition of storytelling. It's also nice when he comes across a traditional Burundian cattle in upstate New York. It's harrowing when he recalls seeing a boy killed by militia after being made to bite broken glass. But like I said - it's all really disjointed. There really isn't any narrative and it jumps around to/from various points in his life.

His mother was a wonder. Gotta give that woman all the credit one can give.

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find it hard to look back because most of what I see when I look back is painful. One doctrine of Western psychology has long held that the cure for the pain of memory is a return to the past itself. Burundian culture holds an opposite view. I now realize that each approach has its own wisdom. But for me the past is inescapable. (xv)

Irankunda was a young child when civil war broke out in Burundi, and that war stretched to encompass his entire childhood and coming of age. His family was on and off separated and internally displaced: staying with relatives in safer areas, sleeping in the forest night after night, living with the fear that comes of not knowing whether the neighbour you help this week will be the same one to come to your house with a machete next week.

I've read a handful of memoirs about the war in Burundi, and this is one of the first in which the writer was a child—not a teenager, not an adult—when war broke out. Time has passed, but some wounds cannot heal completely, and some memories are with you forever. But it's also striking that Irankunda and his family stayed largely in their home: even as their world fell apart around them, his mother tried to hold on to what they knew. Later, and I'm not sure when exactly this was relative to the end of the war but it would have been very close to it, Irankunda studied at the same school where many of his brother's classmates had been massacred. There's so much to unpack there—it's hard to compute.

Structure-wise, I found the book to be a bit scattered, drifting between present and various points in the past. I would have liked some more concrete details, and more of a sense of what happened to the rest of his family, during the war or in general. But it ends up being a very thoughtful, painful look at culture and trauma.

[Aleksandar · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is part of my Read the World Challenge which I started some 6 years ago. Yeah, I get it, it’s a long time to read 195 books, but I never stuck solely to the challenge itself. There are SO MANY books out there I want to read and I routinely get sidetracked. Anyway, Burundi was the country I was covering this time. I choose Pacifique Irankunda because I love historical literature, plus I’ve never explored Burundi’s civil war. The Civil War, a devastating conflict, emerged from a complex web of historical, ethnic, and political tensions. The war began in 1993 and lasted until 2005, deeply scarring the nation and its people. This period of violence primarily involved clashes between the nation's two major ethnic groups: the Hutu and the Tutsi.

The roots of the conflict trace back to the colonial era, when Belgium ruled Burundi. Basically, they exploited Burundi’s people, divided them socially and abused them any chance they got. They aggravated ethnic distinctions between the two groups, favouring the Tutsi, believing them to be “racially superior”. While the book has some great historical references, sparking an interest to explore the country further, its structure presented a significant challenge, as Irankunda oscillated between past and present, and characters emerged and vanished without explanation. Also, my man kept talking about cows throughout the ENTIRE book for some reason, which didn’t contribute to my reading experience at all, but maybe it will to yours. Give it a try.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned so much about Burundi. I loved learning about the bashingantahe, who were like a mixture of scholars, judges, wise men, and peace makers. I was surprised at the cultural similarities between Burundi's monotheistic religion and Judaism: they call Burundi the land of honey and milk; eating milk and meat at same time is not allowed.

I knew nothing about the Burundi civil war prior to this book. I had no idea that the Rwandan war was part of a larger region of war, including Rwanda, Burundi, and the DRC. The stories he tells of survival are shocking and devastating.

It was clear to me that Irankunda wanted this book to be more about Burundi pre-war. About the incredible culture of his country, but from an insider's perspective. But I have a feeling that publishers thought that Americans would only be interested in an African memoir if it was war-torn. That's too bad, because I would've loved to read more about Burundi's culture.

Quote:
-May you have a father. May you have cows. May you have a name. May you have an origin. May you have a purpose. May you have children.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pacifique Irankunda was 4 when civil war broke out in Burundi. While he provides some detail about atrocities committed during the 13 year war, those passages feel detached and nearly emotionless. The Tears of a Man Flow Inward reads more like a love letter to his homeland. You can feel his longing for the culture, the storytellers, and the sense of community that was lost or dying even before he was born, due to German and Belgian occupation. The memoir is sad and hopeful, and it was clearly cathartic for Irankunda who writes, “the first time I wrote a story about a dreadful memory from the war, I actually felt relieved. I could control the experience”. This effort at control, of turning pain into something beautiful, does lend itself to a detached feeling as one is reading, but it’s still a well-written narrative.

[Dallas Shattuck]

The Tears of a Man Flow Inward chronicles Pacifique Irankunda's childhood growing up during the civil war in Burundi. This was an intense and eye-opening memoir to read. I admire Paci's courage and strength to relive these events and share them with the world. I appreciated all of the context Paci included to help the reader understand Burundi's civil war and the ethnic and cultural differences that led to this tragic event.

One thing I noticed was, even though this memoir covers such a tough and traumatic topic, Paci's never-ending sense of hope. I loved his message, and I think it will resonate with a lot of readers.

Thank you so much to Paci for sharing your story! and thank you to Random House and NetGalley for the gifted e-copy in exchange for an honest review!

[Kerry Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won a copy of this book in a Goodreads Giveaway. Thank you!

The author witnessed Civil War based on ethnicity in his home country from the time that he was 4, and is writing about some of his experiences. That said, I felt like much of this book was more of a cultural history of Burundi and less memoir or information about growing up during the war.

It was well written, has a unique, engaging and easy to read style, and I learned a lot about a previously unfamiliar culture, but relatively little about Maman Clemence who is labeled as the central figure of the book and the realities they faced, so felt perhaps the book was mistitled or focused. I would have loved to know more about his mother and family.

Well worth the read.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short, but intense, memoir tells about the author's life growing up in Burundi during the civil war where, as a member of the Tutsis, he had to constantly be on the run, in hiding or fighting for his life. The story is quite interesting and gives a lot of good background content as well as detailed personal descriptions. The author also did extensive research and supplemented his personal stories with information and at times, the personal accounts of others. This was nice because it gave more information than he would have been able to give if just relying on his own experiences, but it also felt a bit disconnected at times. I also really appreciated the portions of the story where he describes life after, for example, when a roommate is playing violent videogames and invites him to join, he declines because he doesn't need to; he lived it. Overall, a quick and informative read, one I would recommend for anyone interested in this topic. Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this book!

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pacifique Irankunda gives us an inside look of what it is like to grow up in the middle of a civil war and doesn't shy away from the brutality of how life really was for him. It's also a story of his path moving across the world and to a place of normalcy, of innocence, of struggles and growth of a different nature. This was a hard book to rate, as it was his life, but yet he's given us a glimpse into his world and his perceptions of how things appear to him, and what he remembers and doesn't want to forget. A brave man telling a sorrowful story, but hasn't lost hope. I wish you the best!
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[B. Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pacifique Irankunda takes the reader from his earliest years as a young boy in pastoral Kigutu along on his desperate escape from ethnic genocide, with only his brother, as company to successfully rebuild his life in New England. Told in a spare and concise manner, the stories are both heartbreaking and inspiring. Man’s inhumanity to man is the reality of Pacifique’s past and he counters with his belief in the light of “umoco” inside all of us. In Pacifique’s words, “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”

[John Benson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir is written by the younger brother of Deo, who Tracy Kidder profiled in his book, STRENGTH IN WHAT REMAINS. Later, Tracy Kidder helped sponsor Pacifique and Asvelt to continue their studies in the US. While the title of the book made it seem like he would detail more of the day-to-day events during the Burundian civil war, something that still continues to this day, but the book ended up being more philosophical as he pondered how his country fell into this violence and civil war, despite its peaceful pre-colonial history. A very thoughtful and enlightening read.

[ಥ_ಥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed "The Tears of a Man Flow Inward: Growing Up in the Civil War in Burundi" by Pacifique Irankunda. Despite its brevity, I initially expected it to focus solely on his childhood during the war (lasting from 1993 to 2006), but Irankunda provided valuable insights into Burundi's culture 🇧🇮. I was surprised to discover the extent of European colonization (mostly Germany and Belgium). Irankunda's writing is simple yet remarkably compelling. I recommend this book to anybody who enjoys nonfiction.

[Cori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Goodreads, Random House Publishing and Pacifique Irankunda for my copy of "The Tears of a Man Flow Inward." This was a beautifully written story that was both moving and horrifying in the atrocities that civilians suffered. I appreciated the comparison between the division of the people of the United States to those of Burundi. Reading this book has also caused me to want to read more about the civil war in Burundi and the surrounding countries.

[Mary Erickson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chapters are somewhat disjointed--more a series of essays of memories and political thoughts than a memoir. Includes authors' love of family, cattle, ancient Burundi (pre-European conquest) and "Bashingantahe," a wisdom collective who provided justice and stability.

It's a quick read--less than 200 pages and the book is quite small, and worth the effort, but I was hoping for something more comprehensive.

[Josh · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve read a bit about Rwanda and wanted to learn more about its neighbor to the south so I was excited to start listening to this book. The author’s English accent is thick and while it added to the authenticity of the listen I didn’t catch everything. My favorite parts were the stories of life in Burundi before and during the civil war. I grew tired of hearing about the ancient wisdom of Burundi and how it’s restoration could solve the country’s current troubles. Also a lot of talk about cattle.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the final chapters on the saga of the watusi and the tradition of storytelling

'The most pleasant times I remember from my childhood are the times of stories. For my country, it was a loss. Storytelling had played an important role in passing on cultural knowledge and collective memory. My hope since I began to write has been to carry on the tradition in my own small way, and to honor my elders and their stories of what used to be'

[Richard Bicknase · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would give this 3.5 stars if that were an option.

I have mixed feelings about this book as I think a better book is somewhere in there, but that better book would need to be longer and different. For what this is, I mostly thought it was a good read with a lot of interesting content and some moments of beautiful writing. Some sections show the full brutality of war, so know what you are getting into if you decide to pick this up.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is a lot of good information in here and I was unaware that the clash between the Hutus and the Tutsis started in Burundi rather than Rwanda. However, I had difficulty with the layout of the themes presented and felt a bit tossed about with keeping up with the chronology and the different people that were written about.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author grew up in Burundi but moved to the U.S. when he was a teenager. He went to school in western Massachusetts and later moved to Brooklyn. This is a collection of stories about his memories of Burundi and going to school in the U.S. I really enjoyed chapter 7, in which he wrote about his love of cows and trying to find a particular breed of cattle, which reminded him of home.

[Daniela Dominguez · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5/5
I have to agree with other reviewers that this book feels disjointed. The timelines going back and forth didn’t work for me.
I can imagine it must be very hard for the author having to revisit extremely traumatizing events, but some of the essays/stories were missing something.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short book but one that is packed full of the consequences of colonialism and civil war, while also sharing the passion and love for his country, its traditions, and hopes for its future.

[Heather G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tragic

I'm ashamed to say I was unaware Burundi was caught up in the same terror as Rwanda. This was such an interesting perspective.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

My 41st book in the Read Around the World challenge: Burundi 🇧🇮

[Maria Cecilia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aprendí mucho y siento que me gustó pero también sentí la escritura como algo muy impersonal por algún motivo.

La verdad es que siento que me faltaron muchos detalles y muchas cosas por aprender.