Look Mom I'm a Poet

by Andrew Shaffer

For fans of SNL’S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer.

In his first full-length poetry collection featuring over five dozen new and selected poems, humorist Andrew Shaffer explores our modern world from Fortnite (“I don’t care”) to pretentious Instagram poets (“Lord Byron would have drunk wine from your hipster skull”).

Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So Is My Cat) is playful, hilarious, and accessible to readers who don’t know poetry from a hole in the ground.*

*Holes in the ground are filled with snakes. As every verse jockey worth their meter knows, there are no snakes in poems.

Genres: Poetry, Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Adult

146 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 21, 2021

About the author

Andrew Shaffer is the New York Times bestselling author of more than a dozen books. He lives with his wife, novelist Tiffany Reisz, in Louisville, Kentucky, where he teaches at Lexington's non-profit Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning and Louisville Literary Arts.

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

…

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I'm not a good judge of poetry, but the fact that a few of these poems about killed me (the book should come with a warning about drinking anything while reading) means it deserves at least 4/5 stars… right?

Also, Home Depot would never use his advertisement he wrote for them, but it is the best.

My thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me a copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let's face it: this is simply light humor wrapped up in poetry that appeals to a certain kind of observer of human nature:

In other words: you've gotta like it dry.

Jack Handy dry. A touch of the absurd, a touch of the profound, and a whole wallop of the goofy.

But then, I like a good dry witticism. Or several dozen. And this one easily brought a smile onto my face for the 45 minutes it took me to read it.

Worth it. Totally worth it.

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

You don’t have to like poetry to enjoy this, but I do think you have to have a very specific type of humor, and I’m not sure how exactly to describe that humor. Let’s see: You must have an appreciation for absolute ridiculousness. You must think morbid references are hilarious. You must realize that deliberately offensive things aren’t offensive if they are deliberately offensive. Or maybe they are. I don’t even know. You must, at least, be willing to accept their deliberate offensiveness. You must not rely too heavily on logic. You must realize you’re being illogical when you try to make sense of these poems. You must go in knowing that this book requires at least 72 content warnings and you must think that, in itself, is funny. If your sense-of-humor meets these requirements, you will quite likely enjoy this book.

Personally, I could not look away. This book was like a terrible accident scene that I felt ashamed for staring at for too long. Except that the book was funny and accident scenes aren’t. I was so amused that I texted several of the poems to my husband while he was at work, as his sense-of-humor also meets the qualifications. While this may not be the right read for everyone, it was exactly what I needed today!

Also, what a cute cat!

I am immensely grateful to NetGalley and 8th Circle Books for my digital review copy. Look Mom I’m a Poet is due for publication on June 1, 2021.

You can find all of my book reviews, lots of other fun bookish content, and the occasional ramblings about movies right here: https://www.facebook.com/abookishbutt...

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

My cat died six years ago,
Which is even more tragic now,
As she would have loved this book.

Actually, that’s a lie,
Made for the sake of humour,
It’s an absurd statement to make;

She only ever read Spider-Man comics.
…
God, I miss my cat.

[Delirious Disquisitions · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this arc from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Look, full disclaimer, but the only reason I picked up this poetry collection was for the catchy title and that beautiful cover. I bet most people did. I mean that title sounds fun. And that cover, juxtaposing the kind of enlightenment era seriousness Thoreau would unironically approve of with the farcical addition of the “cat”, is the kind of absurdist humor that I love! It unintentionally raised my expectations. Ones that were pretty much crushed from the get go.

I cannot tell you the sheer, utter disappointment that is this “poetry” collection. I use the term “poetry” loosely as this is more a selection of jokes mimicking minimalist verses. I’m clearly not the target audience for these jokes as they seem to be more catered towards a) 12 year old kids going through puberty or b) dude bros who’s idea of humor is basically just fart jokes. There’s nothing wrong with a good fart joke or two but damn, these were pretty damn bad.

Reading this, rather than any kind of amusement, I just felt thoroughly annoyed. Almost all the jokes were set up so the punchline could somehow subvert expectations and really, I just never had that “gotcha” moment. The penis jokes just made me feel so much secondhand embarrassment, kind of like watching your dad try to use millennial humor to try and be one of the cool kids. I cringed my way through somehow.

Overall, this was just all kinds of terrible. I’m enraged on behalf of Himalayan, the cat, who is the bestest boy and was grossly misused for publicity’s sake in the title and cover page and never even got his poems in. Poor boy. I’m still waiting on his collection. 1 star.

[Kiera · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you need some humorous, light hearted poetry- this is the book.

[lexie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was less about poetry and more about humor. The author was very witty / clever when writing this book and some of the connections he makes are hilarious

Like connecting heartbreak to writing good poetry


I think if you have a good sense of humor you will throughly enjoy this book, and it’s life lessons / stories inclosed. This is written in a poetry format which made it a quick read as well! But one thing is if you get offended easily i do not recommends this book.

[Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book of poetry. While most of it is good for a laugh, a couple of them really made me think about things, particularly the one about 9/11. It will make a nice gift for someone in need of a pick-me-up.

This unbiased review is based on a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.

[aro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy and fun to read. There were some amazing poems but the rest were pretty mediocre. The good ones really shone through though and were quite funny.

[Bob Lingle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me infertile. It was either this book or the vasectomy I had around the same time I was reading it. Either way, buyer beware.

It's hilarious though, so it's probably worth it.

[Jasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Requested because of the cover, stuck around for the inevitable laughing snorts.

Thanks again to NetGalley for a eARC of this book in return for an honest review!

[Beatriz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay, so I’m kind of on the fence on this one:
What I liked: Andrew Shaffer showcases and reminisces on what those know-it-alls from modernism try to say: it does not have to rhyme. His poems feel fun – like a collection of funny random thoughts that stick in your head for a reason. Sometimes reading the author’s work feels like finding an old diary from a funny kid – in the best way. Poems like “The Only Way to Stop a Bad Guy With A Gun Is A Good Guy With A Gun” and “In These Challenging Times” were something special – it is when the author manages to find and show his voice in a way that makes me super interested in what he is doing next.

As for the rest (because this is a review): there was not a thing here that I specifically did not like, but parts of this felt… neutral…? Some poems were harder for me to connect with and I just went through the motions of reading them… It does not at all mean the writing was necessarily bad (it was really good and follows a disintegrated style that I loved)… but I don’t know how else to explain… sometimes I felt that the mind of the author seemed farther away from the subject.

Overall: a promising introduction (for me) to the existence of Andrew Shaffer!
I received an advanced copy of this book via Netgalley, and leave this review because I want to, many thanks for all of those involved in granting me this copy! It was a great experience 😊.

[كيكه الوزير · Rating 2 out of 5]

These aren't poems. But what they are isn't half bad. 'Advice For The Young Poet' is charming. #Sponsoredpost is you know, witty, ish. Goodnight Moon is social commentary I understand. I Have My Limits is relatable. The Hotel Florida is good because I'm biased and love anything Hemingway related. Haters Gonna Hate is probably the only one that made me smile. It's fine. I can certainly imagine people who would have liked this. I didn't really.

Thank you to NetGalley and 8th Circle Entertainment for the opportunity to read this and provide my honest review.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

RTC

[slashyrogue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh this was so fun!

I laughed so much reading these!

Serious at times, humorous more often than not, this collection is for fans of Jack Handey for sure. Just such a good time I read right through it and was sad it ended! Definitely recommend! I love it so much I want to go read it again and look for more by this author.

Thank you to NetGalley and 8th Circle Entertainment for letting me read this in exchange for an honest review.

[Radwa · Rating 3 out of 5]

You don't have to be into poetry to like this one, but it requires a certain type of himor. I enjyed most of them. It's these very short "modern" poems, with a lot of pop culture referneces and references to actors and celebs.

The funny thing is that I read this after reading upstream, and it was jarring reading the way he mocked wordsworth and whitman, after she praactically glorified them in her book. It's more of humor book in a poems-ish format, than a poetry book.

[Briar's Reviews · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is very hit and miss. Sometimes I really enjoyed it and other times I was rolling my eyes. You need a specific taste for comedy to enjoy it, which isn't a bad thing! Overall, it was an okay book that I wouldn't read again.

Two out of five stars.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me a free copy to read in exchange of an honest review.

[Rob · Rating 1 out of 5]

LOOK MOM I’M A POET (and so is my cat) (2021)
By Andrew Shaffer
Dime House Press, 146 pages.
★

The best thing about Andrew Shaffer’s chapbook is the cover. Seriously. It’s festooned with a (vaguely) Victorian man holding an opossum. It’s all downhill from there.

Let's start with the title. Shaffer is not a poet. There’s a difference between doggerel and a dog’s breakfast. These days everyone who puts words into a rap or fills a screen with unorthodox spacing fancies themselves the next Amanda Gordon or Billy Collins. That's utter nonsense. Gordon is the heir to Langston Hughes, who a century ago wrote of the dangers of a dream deferred. Her poetry moves with the grace and rhythm of music and challenges America to live up to its ideals. Shaffer’s PR machine cranks out comparisons to Collins, a risible analogy. Collins is a treasure because of his wondrous mix of humor and profundity. Collins makes you laugh, then cringe; he makes you want to suck the marrow from the smallest sublime moments because life is fleeting.

Snark is not the same thing as the depth. Shaffer is also billed as a humorist. Silly me, I thought that actual “humor” was a prerequisite for being a humorist. Shaffer’s is the look-over-the shoulder naughtiness that stops being funny about the time an adolescent boy graduates from junior high school. Consider these lines prompted by seeing a t-shirt that reads, “I Have a Pretty Granddaughter. I Also Have a Gun, a Shovel, and an Alibi.”

I thought about telling him
that I have a shovel, too,
and that I was going to dig up his backyard looking for his granddaughter, because what the fuck, dude.
What the fuck?”

Perhaps his words appeal to pop culture addicts who think that dropping a few memes and brand names confers cultural capital. In “I Read Your Chapbook” Shaffer writes,

Oh, look, just what the world needs –
another book from an Instagram poet
filled with more derivative tripe
about love, whiskey, and scars.

Lord Byron would have drunk wine
from your tattooed hipster skull
while riding his pet bear
into the House of Lords
before making sweet, sweet love
to his half-sister on the parliament floor.

Really makes you wonder, though:
When did he find the time to write?

It says it all to note this is his best work. As a poem it’s trite. It would, though, be a good standup routine.

In his (failed) efforts to write droll lines, Shaffer consistently goes for the cheap rather than transforming an inspired idea into a good poem. In “All Hands on Deck,” Shaffer discusses how numerous versifiers wrote submissions for The New Yorker after 9/11. He sets a melancholic tone that he ruins with: "Six months later, we received our rejections, our metaphors as unnecessary as another Ben Stiller movie…" This is the sort of line one utters at a party. Participants nod and give it the acknowledgment it deserves: "Good line dude.” Again, good standup material.

He does this throughout. In “Poetry Edgelord” he has an insightful moment in which he writes, “A poem is just a short story/without proper punctuation.” So why ruin it with childish references to Walt Shitman and William Turdsworth? Shaffer can’t even follow his own dictates. Later, he tries to pass off several children’s jokes about farts and witches as poems by arranging them as such. What do we wish to make of his observation after seeing the musical Hamilton: "If Alexander Hamilton was such bomb- ass rapper, why did he ever bother with politics?" I will give Shaffer credit for at least knowing that imagining a cloud as penis-shaped deserves the title “Stupid.”

He has several repeating themes–“#SponsoredPost,” “Great Kentuckians of Kentucky,” and recurrent references to the Pittsburgh Steelers–that are so lightweight one expects them to fly away. They are akin to his “Carpe DM.” The entire offering reads: “Every day is a new/opportunity to say/”Fuck it all.” Ditto his observation in “Goodnight Moon” in which he offers this offbeat/off-color observation: “One person’s nightmare of being naked in public is another’s wet dream.”

It’s ironic that Shaffer skewers hipsters; Shaffer seeks to be one. If you don’t already hate hipsters, you will by the time you finish reading his work. Tell you what. Go ahead and preemptively hate them. I’ve saved you the trouble of reading this. Try Amanda Gordon and Billy Collins instead.

Rob Weir

[Dr. des. Siobhán · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received an ARC via Netgallex in exchange for an honest review. Thanks for the free poetry collection.*

Let me be honest here. I wanted to read an ARC of this because I absolutely adore the cover. It is a true banger. The poems are pretty good too, very funny sometimes, but other are just really really really random. The collection is pretty short, so if you're in for a laugh and for a book with a cool cover, pick this up!

4 stars

[Цветина Цолова · Rating 2 out of 5]

Давам 2 звезди само заради този стих :D :

I Read Your Chapbook


Oh, look, just what the world needs—
another book from an Instagram poet
filled with more derivative tripe
about love, whiskey, and scars.


Lord Byron would have drunk wine
from your tattooed hipster skull
while riding his pet bear
into the House of Lords
before making sweet, sweet love
to his half-sister on the parliament floor.


Really makes you wonder, though:
When did he find the time to write?

[Ali · Rating 1 out of 5]

Someone needs to inform this specific brand of humorist that just because a poem is funny does not mean it has to suck.

Craft-wise, these are bad. Humor-wise, they're somehow worse, because even the funniest among them are not that funny and that just makes the terrible craft stand out even more. Oh, and the interstitial photographs were ALSO BAD and just made me even more frustrated because WHY are they there. It did not surprise me in the slightest when I googled the press that published this book and found it's owned by this guy and his wife and seems to exclusively publish their schlock. I rarely regret purchasing a book even when I don't enjoy it, but this one I do.

The only things I enjoyed about this collection were the possums. Oh, and I must admit, the title is pretty good.

[Žaba Čita Novine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I'm definitely not the right audience for this book. There were some poems that really hit close to home, but most of the time, I was just bored and/or confused.

I really don't know how to give an objective rating, so I will just go with my gut.

A big thank you to Dime House and NetGalley for providing me with an early copy in exchange for an honest review.

[NaTaya Hastings · Rating 3 out of 5]

I may be misquoting a bit, but my favorite was,

"She danced naked in the rain / without a care in the world / then a week later / she caught a cold and died"

Haha.

This book will also forever hold a place in my heart for introducing to my new favorite joke:

What kind of gas do zombies have?
Brainfarts.

Hahaha.

Not as good as I was expecting. But amusing nonetheless. And you can LITERALLY read it in about 10 minutes.

[ame · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like dry and dark humour I think you will enjoy this short little poetry collection. It was a funny, easy to read book that is guaranteed to make you smile. Some of the poems were better than others, but all in all it was pretty amusing.

[Minna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yes! Laughs!
Not all these cheeky short poems are hilarious or even funny, but the gems of the collection make it worth the hunt. It’s quick and easy.

I look forward to a dramatic reading of my favorites for loved ones.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 * This was silly, but entertaining. It took about 30 minutes to read the entire book.

I won the Kindle version of the book from a Goodreads giveaway.

[Cristhian · Rating 3 out of 5]

No esperaba m{as ni menos.

Buen servicio.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

NOTE: I received a free preliminary, and likely unedited copy of this book from Netgalley for the purposes of providing an honest, unbiased review of the material. Thank you to all involved.

Books like this are always hard to review. Sometimes I’ve read poetry books that are critically acclaimed that I couldn’t get into – perhaps I’m an uncultured swine and can’t handle it or some such. Other times the humor isn’t for me, and I read the book with mild annoyance. Good news, that wasn’t this book, as I quite enjoyed this. Andrew Shaffer has collected a series of short poems, asides, and observations that are not too dissimilar to the old 90s era SNL skit “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey” without completely ripping the style off. Some are better than others, but the ones I really liked made me laugh out loud which is a plus for any humor book.

This is a very quick read, so keep that in mind if you are considering a purchase. But if you or your BFF likes goofy poetry, this would make a great small gift, stocking stuffer, or bathroom reader. After reading this, I plan to look at some of the author’s other works.

[Cassandra Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this hilarious poetry collection, parody and nonfiction author, Andrew Shaffer, surprises with short and sweet, always funny poems that run the gamut from take downs of pop culture, to #SponsoredPosts for the capitalist machine, and witty observations about society. Serious poetry readers need not apply, this poetry collection is perfect for anyone, even if you're not a fan of verse.

[Tony S · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very odd book but one I thoroughly enjoyed. Very quirky and some themes running through many of the poems. A couple made me smile.