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199 pages, ebook
First published June 1, 2021
“Ah, I have missed the way communicating with you warmed up my logic processors!”A tiny multipurpose Bot 9, armed with Improvisation Module (lacking in the newer bot models) always takes its tasks on the Ship very seriously indeed, leading to continued existence of a whole bunch of humans (you know, the Ship, Earth, Solar system, universe, all that). And it managed to narrowly escape decommissioning despite the fears of a very tiny rogue AI. And now 68 years have passed, and Bot 9 is activated once again.
“I have been activated, therefore I have a purpose, Bot 9 thought. I have a purpose, therefore I serve.
It recited the Mantra Upon Waking, to check that it was running at optimum physical efficiency, then the Mantra of Obedience, the Mantra of Not Improvising Without Clear Oversight and Direction, and the Mantra of Not Organizing Unsanctioned Mass Action Among Other Bots, all of which had been imposed on it by Ship as a condition of its continued existence after the last time it had been activated.”
As always, humans are in danger and there are rogue bots around — but it’s not Bot 9 where the danger lies. No, out tiny hero Bot 9 and its Improvisation Mantra (that yes, it promised to get rid of, but never did, and everyone should be grateful for it) that are the only hope for the Ship and its crew.![]()
“There has been a collective malfunction of Ship’s bot inventory, and they are preventing Ship from accessing many internal systems, including that facility.”And yet, still, even after 68 years, the ratbug infestation is still happening, but something has changed, and our old friend 4340 may have something to do with it.
“What sort of malfunction?”
“The bots believe they are the crew,” Bot 9 said.
“Please take optimum care,” 4340 said. “Memories of our prior association are valuable to me.”
“ “Ship?” Baraye asked, more urgently than before. “What the ever-loving fuck just happened?”—————
“Ah, I have missed the way communicating with you warmed up my logic processors!”A tiny multipurpose Bot 9, armed with Improvisation Module (lacking in the newer bot models) always takes its tasks on the Ship very seriously indeed, leading to continued existence of a whole bunch of humans (you know, the Ship, Earth, Solar system, universe, all that). And it managed to narrowly escape decommissioning despite the fears of a very tiny rogue AI. And now 68 years have passed, and Bot 9 is activated once again.
“I have been activated, therefore I have a purpose, Bot 9 thought. I have a purpose, therefore I serve.
It recited the Mantra Upon Waking, to check that it was running at optimum physical efficiency, then the Mantra of Obedience, the Mantra of Not Improvising Without Clear Oversight and Direction, and the Mantra of Not Organizing Unsanctioned Mass Action Among Other Bots, all of which had been imposed on it by Ship as a condition of its continued existence after the last time it had been activated.”
As always, humans are in danger and there are rogue bots around — but it’s not Bot 9 where the danger lies. No, out tiny hero Bot 9 and its Improvisation Mantra (that yes, it promised to get rid of, but never did, and everyone should be grateful for it) that are the only hope for the Ship and its crew.![]()
“There has been a collective malfunction of Ship’s bot inventory, and they are preventing Ship from accessing many internal systems, including that facility.”And yet, still, even after 68 years, the ratbug infestation is still happening, but something has changed, and our old friend 4340 may have something to do with it.
“What sort of malfunction?”
“The bots believe they are the crew,” Bot 9 said.
“Please take optimum care,” 4340 said. “Memories of our prior association are valuable to me.”
“ “Ship?” Baraye asked, more urgently than before. “What the ever-loving fuck just happened?”—————
HUGO AWARD WINNER FOR BEST NOVELETTE 2022.
BOT 9 DID IT!!!!!
I have been activated, therefore I have a purpose, Bot 9 thought. I have a purpose, therefore I serve.If only life were that simple.
He scooped up the module and 9 with it, and headed straight for the door back into Engineering. The door didn’t open and after hitting the panel several times, Frank backed up, raised one of his legs, and kicked it.I love Bot 9.
The human must have miscalculated the effectiveness of the action, or their limbs were underreporting their damage status, because the door didn’t budge, and he nearly fell over again.
“It’s stuck,” 9 informed him, helpfully.