Berkmann's Pop Miscellany: Sex, Drugs and Cars in Swimming Pools

by Marcus Berkmann

Marcus Berkmann was for many years the pop critic of the Spectator, waiting like most freelances to get fired. He's also the author of the bestselling Berkmann's Cricket Miscellany, concentrating on the ridiculous true stories and the weird characters of that most eccentric of sports. Here he combines the two, in a wildly entertaining ride through the galloping absurdities of pop, from Elvis Presley's real hair colour, through Janet Jackson's more intimate piercings, to Courtney Love's hatred of cheese. Why does Bono always wear sunglasses? Did Ozzy Osbourne really urinate on the Alamo? What actually happened at Keith Moon's 21st birthday party at the Holiday Inn in Flint, Michigan? There's sex, there's drugs, there's violence, there's even a little rock 'n' roll from time to time. But mainly there are vital questions, now finally answered. Which notable guitarist has unfeasibly tiny hands? Which Britpop star was forced to wear lederhosen as a child? Who said, 'The majority of pop stars are compete idiots in every respect'? And was she wrong?

Genres: Music

316 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 3, 2021

About the author

Marcus Berkmann was educated at Highgate School and Worcester College in Oxford in the UK. He began his career as a freelance journalist, contributing to computer and gaming magazines such as Your Sinclair. In the 1990s, he had stints as television critic for the Daily Mail and the Sunday Express, and has written a monthly pop music column for The Spectator since 1987.

With his schoolfriend Harry Thompson, Berkmann scripted the BBC Radio comedy Lenin of the Rovers. He came to prominence with his novel Rain Men (1995), which humorously chronicles the formation and adventures of his own cricket-touring team, the Captain Scott Invitation XI.

Berkmann has continued to write newspaper and cricket magazine columns, such as the Last Man In column on the back page of Wisden Cricket Monthly, while producing a number of critically well-received humorous books.

In Brain Men (1999), he applied his sardonic observations to the world of pub quizzes, adopting a similar approach to Fatherhood (2005). In 2005, Berkmann released Zimmer Men, a quasi-sequel to Rain Men describing his transition into middle age with cricket.

Berkmann is also credited as being part of the writing team of the BBC Three comedy show Monkey Dust, and compiler of the Dumb Britain column in Private Eye magazine. In 2009, he set up the quiz company Brain Men with Stephen Arkell and Chris Pollikett.

A Shed of One's Own: Midlife Without the Crisis was serialised by BBC Radio 4 in its Book of the Week slot during 2012. A fan of Star Trek since its first British screening by the BBC in 1969, Set Phasers to Stun: 50 Years of Star Trek, aimed at the general reader, was published in March 2016.

Reviews

[Jeremy Walton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up (for a thirteenth of its cover price) just after Christmas in The Works, attracted by its promise of music trivia, including (hopefully) some interesting facts I didn’t already know. And so it proved: the revelation [p199] that Huey Lewis’s grandfather invented using red wax to keep cheese fresh (a mind-boggling fact commensurate with Michael Nesmith’s mother being the inventor of Tipp-Ex) was worth the cost of the book on its own, along with the author pointing out that his album "Sports" was one of just five albums to make number one in the USA in 1984. This is the fewest in history, but Lewis's contribution was just one week, with the other four ("Thriller", "Born In The USA", "Purple Rain" and the "Footloose" soundtrack) taking up the rest of the year.

Other nuggets include the fact [p129] that Michael D'Abo, who was the lead singer on Manfred Mann's "Mighty Quinn" and wrote "Handbags And Gladrags" and (with the prolific Tony MacCaulay) "Build Me Up "Buttercup", also wrote the tune for the "finger of fudge" jingle used in the 70s TV adverts for Cadbury's Fudge. And Midge Ure, who was christened James, or Jim, was obliged to change his name when he joined his first band, because they already had a Jim - so he reversed his name to become Mij, or Midge [p222]. On p230, he includes the great quiz question (which I discovered last year): "Who is older: Gary Numan or Gary Oldman?". Elsewhere in this mixed bag, he asks the question: "Who came last in the final of the Eurovision Song Contest in 2003, 2008, 2010 and 2019?" (hint: it's not Norway, who've come last ten times), and quotes Mark Ellen as saying Rod Stewart has "seen more sex than a policeman's torch" [p132].

[Charles James · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining Loo read . Many nuggets of information / anecdotes on different participants in the music business . Divided up on the basis of the year in whicch the artist is born . A lots of stuff I was unaware of . Enjoyable

[Robbie Carnegie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An entertaining enough miscellany of pop trivia, though Berkmann's emphasis on the semier side of the rock business does come across as slightly mean-spirited at times. Nice appreciation of Prefab Sprout, although I didn't agree with his estimation of Jordan: The Comeback

[Jonny Brick · Rating 5 out of 5]

A treasure trove, with quizzes, factoids, hidden gems and the birthdays of every notable popstar. Very good on the big figures (Madonna, Beatles, John Peel). An essential part of any Music Library.

[Tracey Pearce]

Had to give up as was pointless

[Terry · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun collection about facts, fibs and funnies in the world of rock and roll. Lot's of trivia to bring up down the pub. Well researched and put together.

[Ed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun

This book is great fun . Really enjoyed it, some really funny stories and some very sad and poignant ones .