Relational Spirituality: A Psychological-Theological Paradigm for Transformation

by Todd W. Hall

As our society becomes more socially fragmented, many Christians feel disconnected and struggle to grow spiritually. Common models of spiritual transformation are proving inadequate to address "the sanctification gap." In recent decades, however, a new paradigm of human and spiritual development has been emerging from multiple fields. It's supported by a critical mass of evidence, all pointing to what psychologists Todd W. Hall and M. Elizabeth Lewis Hall call a relational revolution. In Relational Spirituality, Hall and Hall present a definitive model of spiritual transformation based on a relational paradigm. At its heart is the truth that human beings are fundamentally relational--we develop, heal, and grow through relationships. While many sanctification models are fragmented, individualistic, and lack a clear process for change, the relational paradigm paints a coherent picture of both process and goal, supported by both ancient wisdom and cutting-edge research. Integrating insights from psychology and theology, this book lays out the basis for relational spiritual transformation and how it works practically in the context of relationships and community. Relational Spirituality draws together themes such as trinitarian theology, historical and biblical perspectives on the imago Dei, relational knowledge, attachment patterns, and interpersonal neurobiology into a broad synthesis that will stimulate further dialogue across a variety of fields. Highlighting key characteristics of spiritual communities that foster transformation, Hall and Hall equip spiritual leaders and practitioners to more effectively facilitate spiritual growth for themselves and those they serve.

Genres: Theology, Christian, Psychology, Nonfiction, Discipleship, Christianity, Mental Health

302 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 25, 2021

Reviews

[Brother Brandon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very dense read, but very worth my time. A spirituality of transformation from a pyschological perspective.

[Michael Berra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ein hervorragendes Buch, das voll auf der Linie meines eigenen „Towards a Theology of Relationship“ liegt und in etwa zeitgleich erschienen ist. Die Autoren wählen den Blick aus ihrem Fachgebiet (Psychologie), betreiben dann aber auch sehr fundiert theologische Arbeit und legen dabei - wie der Titel sagt - den Fokus auf Spiritualität. In diesem Sinne geht es ihnen - genauso wie mir - um ein Leitmotiv der Beziehung, wobei ich den Zugang von der Theologie her gewählt und die Sozialpsychologie als Hilfswissenschaft dazu genommen habe und dabei noch etwas grundlgender und allgemeiner geblieben bin.

Nun aber zu diesem Buch. Es ist in 3 Teile gegliedert.
Part 1: “The Need for a Relational Spirituality Paradigm“. Hier wird der Boden gelegt und argumentiert, wieso wir von einem rationalistisch geprägten Verständnis zu einem relationalen durchdringen müssten. Sie machen einen guten geschichtlichen Überblick und gerade auch die Einschätzung einer evangelikalen Verkürzung ist hier interessant.

Part 2: „The Nature and Goal of Spiritual Transformation“. Dies ist der Hauptteil und entwickelt, dass Spiritualität sowohl theologisch-biblisch, als auch psychologisch eine positiv-nahe Beziehung ist so verstanden werden muss und auch nur so relational gedeiht. Dabei stützen sich die Autoren unter anderem auf Konzepte wie die Bindungstheorie, arbeiten aber auch den theologischen Unterbau hervorragend heraus.

Part 3: „The Process of Spiritual Transformation“. Hier wird es dann konkret. Dieser Teil hätte aus meiner Sicht noch ausführlicher und praktischer sein können, zeigt aber auch, dass das Buch eher ein anspruchsolles Grundlagenwerk und kein Lebens-Ratgeber ist. Einige Tiefenbohrungen fand ich hier sehr spannend, besonders die Psychologie von Gruppen und ihr Einfluss auf Spiritualität, die in Gemeinschaft geschieht.

Fazit: Ich habe mich sehr über dieses Buch gefreut, nicht nur weil es meine eigene Einschätzung und (Forschungs-)Arbeit bestätigt, sondern auch ergänzt und dabei eine Bewegung aufzeigt, die relationales Denken und Theologie als Zukunftsweg beschreibt, der sehr vielversprechend ist. Aus meiner Sicht ein „Must-Read“.

[Haley Baumeister · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a mashup of Dan Allender and Curt Thompson books, with heavy doses of both Vivek H. Murthy's "Together" and Iain McGilchrist's "The Master and His Emissary."

[Josh Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books you have to take your time working through. Relational Spirituality: A Psychological-Theological Paradigm for Transformation is an intimidating title, but at the heart of its message is simply that spiritual transformation happens through relationships. It brings together neurobiology, sociology, psychology, and theology in a cohesive and comprehensive overview of how people grow spiritually.

The first part of the book develops the need for a relational spirituality paradigm. The authors—Todd and M. Elizabeth Hall, both professors at Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola—contrast Western society’s increasing individualism and social fragmentation with the assertion that human beings are fundamentally relational. From this basis, they explore the disconnect between theology and spiritually, which left individuals with their doctrine disconnected from their spiritual experiences.

The second part develops the relational nature of spiritual transformation, beginning with a discussion of God as Trinity. If God is a trinity, he is therefore intrinsically relational. Humans, made in God’s image, are also relational. This is seen in evidence from infant research, attachment theory, neuroscience, and other areas of study. The work then takes a broader study of relationships, attachment, and how common attachment patterns manifest in our relationship with God.

Part three shifts focus to spiritual transformation. So, we’ve gone from the need for relations to how those relationships manifest and now to what those relationships are supposed to do, positioning the church as the place of spiritual transformation and growth. Stripped down to its bare-bones essentials, Relational Spirituality isn’t putting out a difficult concept: People grow spiritually when surrounded and supported by those in whom God’s Spirit mutually dwells. What the Halls do so well is provide support for this in the sciences, showing how multiple scientific disciplines support our need for relationship, particularly for spiritual growth.

Relational Spirituality is, in one sense, one of those books that uses a lot of words to say what could be said in just a few and appears to complicate an issue that many Christians might feel is pretty simple. But in a greater sense, what it does is show how foundational that “simple” issue is and how it permeates our very being. It’s a corrective to the superficial community that our churches often offer and the individualism and rationalism that pervade the Western church. It manages to provide us something more mystical and communal while being firmly grounded in contemporary scientific research. It’s a true work of genius that shows how science complements spirituality rather than condemning it.

[Matt Aspinall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thought this was a good read with thought provoking moments.

[Parker McGoldrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We are loved into loving.”

[Caleb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some really good content in here, but a fair amount of clutter as well. Good research! But limited things you can actually utilize if you are not a psychologist.

[Josh Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books you have to take your time working through. Relational Spirituality: A Psychological-Theological Paradigm for Transformation is an intimidating title, but at the heart of its message is simply that spiritual transformation happens through relationships. It brings together neurobiology, sociology, psychology, and theology in a cohesive and comprehensive overview of how people grow spiritually.

The first part of the book develops the need for a relational spirituality paradigm. The authors—Todd and M. Elizabeth Hall, both professors at Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola—contrast Western society’s increasing individualism and social fragmentation with the assertion that human beings are fundamentally relational. From this basis, they explore the disconnect between theology and spiritually, which left individuals with their doctrine disconnected from their spiritual experiences.

The second part develops the relational nature of spiritual transformation, beginning with a discussion of God as Trinity. If God is a trinity, he is therefore intrinsically relational. Humans, made in God’s image, are also relational. This is seen in evidence from infant research, attachment theory, neuroscience, and other areas of study. The work then takes a broader study of relationships, attachment, and how common attachment patterns manifest in our relationship with God.

Part three shifts focus to spiritual transformation. So, we’ve gone from the need for relations to how those relationships manifest and now to what those relationships are supposed to do, positioning the church as the place of spiritual transformation and growth. Stripped down to its bare-bones essentials, Relational Spirituality isn’t putting out a difficult concept: People grow spiritually when surrounded and supported by those in whom God’s Spirit mutually dwells. What the Halls do so well is provide support for this in the sciences, showing how multiple scientific disciplines support our need for relationship, particularly for spiritual growth.

Relational Spirituality is, in one sense, one of those books that uses a lot of words to say what could be said in just a few and appears to complicate an issue that many Christians might feel is pretty simple. But in a greater sense, what it does is show how foundational that “simple” issue is and how it permeates our very being. It’s a corrective to the superficial community that our churches often offer and the individualism and rationalism that pervade the Western church. It manages to provide us something more mystical and communal while being firmly grounded in contemporary scientific research. It’s a true work of genius that shows how science complements spirituality rather than condemning it.

[Ryan Garrett · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. While this book does a nice job exploring spiritual theology and the application of spiritual formation, it was a bit of a slog for me through the opening section. Chapters 4 and forward are very good and insightful, containing very good guides on meaningful relationships, spiritual formation activities, and the best parts of a healthy church’s components and relationships. I enjoyed these sections thoroughly and greatly appreciated the explanations of the impact of attachment styles on relationships with God and others. However, the (over)reliance in the opening on cognitive science and psychology, not to mention some questionable neuroscience, was simply bothersome and somewhat boring to me. (Neuroscience claims things too often it cannot/does not know - while observational psychology seems fine - so, this is nothing to base theories upon in my opinion.) Regardless of my picky thoughts here, the book still has high value and the middle to late sections are very important. Good not great overall.

[Michael Stallard · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many people today feel spiritually disconnected and lonely. In “Relational Spirituality: A Psychological-Theological Paradigm for Transformation,” Todd W. Hall and M. Elizabeth Lewis Hall, both tenured psychology professors, explain why and what we can do about it. Reading this book helped me understand why the American church has been in a state of decline and what can be done to get the church back on the right track. It also helped me better understand how I can facilitate my own spiritual growth as a follower of Christ and how I can help my local church develop into a loving spiritual community. I highly recommend this timely book.

The Halls describe how, beginning in the Middle Ages and accelerating after the Enlightenment, the Church moved away from helping people learn theology and grow spiritually to focusing primarily on the former. As a result, the Church taught theology but failed to help people cultivate spiritual practices that develop loving relationships with God and neighbor. In this split between Christian doctrine and the experiential Chrisitan life, knowledge was prized over action or living out one’s faith in relational and practical terms.

They argue that God’s trinitarian nature (i.e., God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit) is, in essence, relational. Humans are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26) and, therefore, they are relational beings. As such, for humans to develop spiritual maturity, Biblical knowledge must be accompanied by loving Biblical relationships.

They describe a new relational paradigm of human and spiritual development that integrates knowledge from a variety of fields. The paradigm employs the use of hearing and telling personal stories that people feel and that move them emotionally, integrating ideas (processed in the left-brain hemisphere) with emotions (processed in the right-brain hemisphere). This approach is consistent with Jesus’ teaching through telling parables that illustrated spiritual truths.The paradigm also includes suffering and lament, contemplative practices that facilitate a secure attachment to God, and living in a loving spiritual community.

Over time, the relational spirituality paradigm and practices change our brain, nervous system, and other bodily systems that together equip followers of Jesus to grow spiritually and develop a “loving presence.” This is consistent with Paul’s admonition in Romans 12 to be transformed by renewing our minds. I was already aware of the effects relational connection and disconnection have on us physically and I appreciated how the Halls explored this fascinating subject.

It’s challenging to briefly describe the many strengths of this book. I particularly liked the authors’ historical description of how the Church got off track as well as their explanation and integration of theology and secular research from a variety of fields, including attachment theory, infant research, social neuroscience, emotions theory, and clinical psychology. It was awe-inspiring to read how scientific insights provide a deeper and richer view of God’s design. For example, research on relational attachment filters and social neuroscience show how people are loved into loving. This is consistent with Scripture (for example, 1 John 4:7-21 describes how we are able to love others because God first loved us). The relational spirituality paradigm was an “aha” for me that really resonated with what I see in the Bible and what I’ve experienced in my personal journey of faith.

The Church’s decline is a complex issue and reversing the trend is not simple. “Relational Spirituality” is a rigorous book, well-supported by research and footnotes, and not a quick read. That said, I highly recommend this academic book for followers of Jesus who are willing to read and think deeply. For those who want an easier read, I see that Todd Hall has “The Connected Life: The Art and Science of Relational Spirituality” coming out later this year which I expect will be written in an approachable style for the “person in the pew.” I very much look forward to reading it as well.

[Joel Wentz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a bit torn on this one. There are some outstanding chapters, particularly when the writers are in their "wheelhouse" - the chapter on attachment, for example, is one of the clearest and helpful descriptions of that theory I've ever read. When discussing psychological research, the writers are precise, incredibly helpful, and do an admirable job integrating these findings with theology and scripture.

I guess my main critique is that the book simply tries to do too much, and in taking such a big swing, the authors get outside their expertise. They also try to do too much in too few pages. For example, the opening chapter is an argument regarding the bifurcation of "relational knowledge" and "scientific knowledge," and how these areas of 'knowing' have been split apart in the progression of Western culture. Now, I'm very sympathetic to these ideas, but an argument of that scope deserves way more nuance, and certainly more page count (arguably it needs to be its own entire book), and trying to cram it into the opening chapter of a book like this just felt frustrating. I kept thinking about all the ways these ideas are seriously contested, which was distracting to the more-salient points the authors were actually trying to make (which, again, I'm sympathetic to). Similarly, there is a single chapter on "trinitarian theology" as the basis for their relational-model, and I found it to be way too imprecise, especially on the crucial distinctions between more-social developments of the Trinity versus classical understandings. Again, it felt like this discussion was a bit outside the primary expertise of the writers, which is why it felt less accomplished.

So it's a bit of a mixed bag. I love the overarching thrust and perspective, but I found some of the specifics of the way the book was structured and argued quite frustrating. There are fantastic chapters, though, and I would still recommend this with a caveat: apply a filter!

[JackR · Rating 4 out of 5]

much to think about

Considerable integration of extant psychological theories and biblical theology that is challenging and useful. A book worth reading, its orientation is theoretical and thus of relevance especially for those needing more theoretical understanding. It is clearly a product of his lifetime of cogitation.
I was disappointed to see an emphasis on nurture as explanation, with little if indeed any on nature, ie personality and other dispositional factors now so well established in psychology were largely absent.
Attachment theory is a current fashion, and in my view it was given explanatory credence as explanatory well beyond that which it warrants when one is aware of the problems of validation of the constructs. The blind trust in the model makes for a real potential problem of locus of control and responsibility, and associated with parent blaming and guilt.
The book provides a broad conceptual brush and also lacks for direct practical implications, eg such as narratives illustrating applications of theory. Maybe that could be a next book?

[elzinga · Rating 4 out of 5]

A profoundly important book, Hall utilizes history, philosophy, psychology, and theology to form a model of transformation through the lens of relational spirituality. Hall argues for the combination of implicit and explicit spiritual knowledge, and he shows how our attachment filters, behavior, and core fears and needs relating to humans parallels our relationship with God and vice versa. Therefore, seeking a secure attachment with God, as he is a Trinitarian relational being, can produce a secure attachment with people and vice versa. Relational Spirituality is written mostly in a textbook, explicit knowledge format, but because of the fascinating and insightful nature of topics discussed, I highly recommend this read.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Todd and Elizabeth Hall present a paradigm for transformation that should be obvious but has obviously been missing in many Western Churches. They do an excellent job tracing where the train fell off the tracks and with the help of psychology and Scripture give the church a blueprint for transformation.

I walked away more fascinated by the way our God created us to be attached to one another and how that deeply impacts how we attach to Him. I joyfully say, pick up this book, and read it. Read it even when the psychology of it doesn't make sense. It will click at some point that relationships are more than important to the way we do life in the Kingdom.

[Amelia Himstedt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I originally bought this book solely as a textbook for a graduate counseling class, thinking it would be a difficult “skim through for the test” read. I was completely wrong- Todd Hall gives a fantastic breakdown and explanation of the transformation God seeks to indwell in His children, using both modern psychological theory and scripture to give readers a deeper understanding of what it looks like to love others as Christ loves them. I have never dwelled on or appreciated the transformation aspect of my relationship with Christ so much as I have been these past several weeks. Highly recommend!

[Dena McGoldrick Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

My words are inadequate to describe this book. It is not a quick read, but worth the effort to grasp the concepts. I highly recommend this to anyone who works with people (all of us) and desires to understand how transformational change happens. The final chapter brings it all together with the biblical truth that we aren't meant to isolate our faith and we are indeed loved into loving gin the context of Christian community, as we reflect our triune God who is love.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this on audio and while it is accessible, it does read more textbook-like. The content was excellent- I am glad I listened on audio to pull me through it but I think it would be well worth sitting with a physical copy, making notes and taking my time. I hope to revisit and go slower.
Such helpful insight into how we are wired for relationships and how this plays a key part in our spiritual formation and growth.

[Dawson Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giving this 5 stars purely because of the content and because it gave some resolution to a lot of things I've been thinking and reading about lately. It's pretty academic but not overly complex. The chapter on our attachment filters was particularly interesting and put words to things I haven't known how to before. "Unthought knowns", as he discusses in the book. Will definitely be recommending it and talking about it with people.

[Craig Prather · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a good overview of spirituality and relationships. I would probably give it 3.5 stars for it not being engaging enough and focused to heavily on neuroscience and psychology. I could tell these authors didn’t have a theology background. They have a science background, which makes it tough to stay engaged.

[Brayden Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful synthesis of theology, psychology, attachment theory, church history to make it very clear that we do not grow and we cannot be human apart from deep relational fellowship with the family of Jesus. A little heady, with long chapters, but if you can give sustained focus it is an incredible use of your attention.

[Bridget Golubinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great combination of psychology and theology. Loved how the author used philosophy, science, and historical theology to touch on topics of emotions, knowledge, community, counseling, the church, attachment theory, the Trinity, and spiritual formation. Not a super difficult read, but definitely dense with information. For sure need to reread in the future

[Morgan Trout · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Our natural tendency is to want to be loved for that which is good in us—our strengths, beauty, skill, and virtue. To be loved in the very midst of our unloveliness makes us vulnerable. This love, while healing, also stings…part of how our love is transformed as Christians, then, is that we become more able to fully and joyfully receive the caregiving love of others.”

[Pavel Eder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely stunning! While it develops the same theme, it is more academic than Hall’s The Connected Life. Yet his insights and systematic approach to discipleship from the perspective of a relational paradigm should be considered foundational for any discipleship model, as it shifts the focus from programs to relational depth modeled on Trinitarian love.

[Rebekah Gumm · Rating 5 out of 5]

If only for the history of how “the western church” became what we know now… it’s worth the read. The rest is a beautiful blend of personal development through the lens of attachment and spiritual formation in community. It feels familiar, as I’ve read many books like this; however, it’s a great “one stop shop”.

[Anita Yoder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like the book answered all my questions about emotional maturity and spiritual wholeness. His premise, under all the neuroscience and attachment theories: we are loved into loving. We change and heal in relationship, which mirrors God's love and is embodied in the church as intentional family.
This should be required reading for all mentors and pastors.

[Ashley Chesnut · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly helpful book that pulls together attachment theory and applies it to the church, showing the need for strong, healthy relationships in the local church. Last chapter is a must-read for those working in ministry.

[Jake Tanis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Elaborates on how relational experiences affect our understanding of God. Hall refers to a lot of data to explain his points. I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in learning about the importance of relationships and enjoys psychology.

[Grant May · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insanely interesting stuff about how sanctification occurs not through individual effort but in the context of relationships. But SO dense. One of those books where if zone out for a second you find the author has changed languages when you zone back in.

[Sherry Rice]

it's a pretty dense book, but definitely has some great stuff in it; would have been 4 stars except of how dense it was

[MS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought-provoking and insightful, but a dense read.