I have been debating on whether I should leave a review of this book because as a Gay Black Man I understand the importance of representation and having anything that gives voice to the struggles faced while occupying multiple marginalized spaces. However, I also think for those putting out "manifestos" we must hold accountable truths. With that being said, here is my review.
I felt this book was problematic on so many levels. Besides this book being poorly written (who edited this book), this author centers himself in everything. I can understand you might say "well it's his memoir", but let me explain.
The book starts with his "trauma" of having his front teeth kicked out when he was 5 years old. One would think that he was gay bashed, but he wasn't. It was just that he got jumped. That's it. He conveniently forgets what the fight was about as he states he can't remember what was said, yet this is put in the book to almost read as though he was gay bashed at a young age and it was a reach of all reaches.
He discusses his father being in the hospital (the day of his 21st bday party that he still went to); he has a chapter where he discusses "name trauma" trying to connect it to what trans people go through. But his story of "trauma" was when he discovered his real name was George and not Matthew...are you serious? People actually have name trauma and his isn't cutting it. And speaking of names, he allows people to call him whatever they want and even says "it doesn't matter what they call you." But it does George, it does. Also, in regards to name, the chapter where he talks about his transgender cousin Hope, he decides it appropriate to still type out her dead name and refer to her and her friends (also transgender) as the "funniest things" at the barbecue...things? Ok. And he didn't just stop at those stereotypes, when referring to Beyonce he called her "sassy." It should also be mentioned that he feels the reason why his memory of his cousin Hope is in black and white is because as queer brown people, our lives are rarely in black and white...give me a break. Man you are reaching.
Speaking of words, did you know that he created the term "Honey Child"? That was news to me because as I am older than the author and from Baltimore, honey child was used by so many people so the fact that he states he created gay language in New Jersey before he knew what it was was laughable at best. This is also coming from an author who gave Nina Simone credit for Strange Fruit. While her rendition was great, Billie Holiday's version is the one that the youth should know. Why is he trying to have history start in the 60's? Additionally, when he does present a chapter that was to highlight the conflict in history as it was (is) taught to us, a way to whitewash our own brown history, he uses undated quotes from Abraham Lincoln to counter the narrative of him being a hero to Black people. While I am not on the Abraham Lincoln bandwagon, I will blame the editors and publishing company for allowing this to happen. When you leave quotes undated, there is no way to get an accurate timeline of personal evolution. Are we to be known by our worst quotes and taken out of context? I am all for calling people out, but let's do it in a way that doesn't leave room for this type of scrutiny. Maybe I am asking too much as a reader, but this is just an example of little to no research or work done in this text.
Furthermore, I don't know what Catholic High School starts a week after labor day, but have him tell it, his first day of his junior year was on September 11, 2001 (a Tuesday). How do I know? I just happened to be in college and 6 blocks away from the Towers when they were hit. It's beyond frustrating when people try to position themselves to connect with history in a way that wasn't real (but maybe I am wrong). And why even mention 9/11 when the chapter is about him crushing hard on a boy?
His journey is surface level at best. Apparently he's trying hard to be "masculine" and it wasn't until he successfully became an Alpha (fraternity) and he reached the goal of masculine signifiers did he say that he could define masculinity on his own terms. Never once did he tell the youth to stop trying to follow the crowd. Too many effeminate queer brown males have died from suicide because of the bullying within the gay community. How often do we see "no fats, no fems" and now we have this guy who clearly seems to have been part of that crowd (sorry for assuming) not once declare how problematic his walk was.
His letter to his brother basically reads "thank you so much for your strength" for him having a gay brother...what? Why are you apologizing and congratulating your brother for being your brother. We have to move beyond apologizing to others for our existence.
As I said, the book lacked insight; depth; and any critical theory at all. It read as though he bought a prompt journal and each chapter was his answers to the prompts. This author seems like he's the type of person to go to a support group of gun violence survivors only to discuss how his paper cut connects him to them.
But here's the real problem, he was given the platform to do this. When reading this book, he actually has a story worth being told (we all do), but I just don't get the sense that this author has even gone to therapy let alone reconciled his memories and the affects they truly had on him before he wrote this book. It is sad because we need more voices, more representation, but this was just not good. I am tired of people with a decent follower account given carte blanche to disrespect the writing community; those who are actually brilliant theorists, that can successfully connect experiences to philosophies that can get people to think.
After reading all the reviews of this book, I am sure my review will be lost in the sea of praise and if it gets to the author, he will most likely look at it as me being mean and causing him trauma, but I would hope he could find some truth into what I am saying. I hope that that truth can lead him to produce better work. I don't think his voice shouldn't be heard, but I do think he needs to sit with these things for a bit before presenting them to young adults.
Maybe the themes presented will lead you to talk to your children. Maybe they will lead you to do self reflection. His goal was to get you to use him as a guide, so I pray that people can use this as a jumping off point and actually educate themselves. For this book to be for the youth and discussing Black queerness there was no mention of James Baldwin, Bayard Rustin, Audre Lorde, Langston Hughes, Bessie Smith, Ma Rainey...all famous black queer people of our past.
Ok, I am off my soapbox now. I host a book club and this was our book for December. At the end of each book we are tasked to give this a grade; the grades given were: D, F, I, F-, F- That sums it up for me.