The Box: An Invitation to Freedom from Anxiety

by Wendy Tamis Robbin

Are you ready to find your way out of your box? There is a moment when you realize your life is no longer your own. You made it picture perfect. You thought it would make you happy and whole. You thought you could seal the walls tight and feel safe. But the panic doesn’t pass, and the anxiety seeps in through every crack. Your pain uses perfection to hide the unraveling. But deep inside, you still hear the whisper of a voice that’s always been there, calling to you, promising that you were meant for more. In The Box , Wendy Tamis Robbins offers a window into the mental illness of an all-star athlete, Ivy League-graduate, and successful attorney. At just 6 years old, Wendy’s first panic attack sparked a 40-year struggle with a variety of anxiety generalized, social and health, eating disorders, phobias, intrusive and suicidal thoughts, and dissociation. Avoiding anything that could trigger her symptoms, she retreats into a box to contain and hide her condition. After years of living in the prison she originally constructed as her safe place, Wendy is no longer willing to limit her life to accommodate her disorders. Raw and powerful, vulnerable and intimate, The Box is both a triumphant memoir and an irresistible invitation. It portrays a courageous journey to find the source of a debilitating disorder in order to find the power to overcome it. Wendy’s experience reminds us of the redemptive power of forgiveness and the healing power of love, not just for others, but for ourselves. It is a story of courage that reframes mental illness sufferers as survivors—a powerful portrait of a woman who refused to remain caged in a box of her making. Now, the invitation is yours… if you are willing to accept it.

300 pages, Paperback

Published May 22, 2021

Reviews

[Mary Jackson _TheMaryReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm so glad that Robbins had the courage to share her story with the world. There are so many people who are suffering from anxiety silently and this book will such a gift to all.
I found reading it was like talking to a friend. It was so refreshing. The loneliness just disappeared for a while. I will pick this back up again and again I am sure.
I recommend this 4 star read. It will make the perfect gift this year so many are going to want to read it.
The Mary Reader received this book from the publisher for review. A favorable review was not required and all views expressed are our own.

[Susan Z (webreakforbooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful memoir that let's people who deal with anxiety know they are not alone.

The author states this is a book for someone with anxiety, someone with a loved one with anxiety or someone who has something else holding them back from living their life. In summary, it's a book for everyone.

I personally do not suffer from anxiety but I know people who do, and it can be isolating, especially when the general population doesn't understand.

I appreciated Wendy baring it all and I know her stories will resonate with so many. I also appreciated that she shined a light on many other mental health issues. I do hope that in my lifetime mental health issues are no longer hidden or shamed. I hope to live in a world where we can speak as freely about anxiety and depression as we do about high cholesterol or broken bones. This book brings us one step closer.

[Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wendy Tamis Robbins comes across as a woman with the world in her pocket. She’s an esteemed law attorney, complete retrospectively with accomplishments such as being a Dartmouth College graduate and a decorated, all-star athlete. She’s also a card-carrying member of the mental health community, bravely coming forward to share her own, respective experiences with clinical anxiety disorders in her new book, The Box: An Invitation to Freedom from Anxiety. The fact that someone of Robbins’ stature is willing to speak so candidly about personal struggles is a growing trend, many figures and even arguably titans in leading fields revealing the frailties of the man behind the machine. Such a statement not only affirms, but helps change the conversation about mental health many are not willing to have in any way, shape, or form - often dependent upon their externalities from a place of fear. Such phobic reactions often necessitate what Robbins expertly and succinctly articulates as ‘the box’. In other words, one builds a self-prescribed lifestyle aiming to block out any potential triggers, mementos, or otherwise christened ‘undesirable’ internal and external representations of a problem they’re trying to bury. What Robbins ultimately points out within the pages, however, is such methodologies just don’t work. The only way to find light in the introspective darkness is to confront such traumas head-on, in the process making some temporarily tough choices and tightening the intrapsychic, proverbial belt. “All of (the) knowledge has come to me after many decades of living with these disorders,” she writes at the beginning of the book. “Awareness and separation are required in order to view (illness) in an intellectual rather than emotional way. But when you can do that, it can be transformational. When you finally understand the chemistry, the external factors, and the commonality, you are relieved of the burden that you are at fault and broken beyond repair.”

In the spirit of that introduction, Robbins delves into extensive, chapter-by-chapter breakdowns of her struggles with everything from eating disorders to suicidal ideation and dissociation. The descriptions are graphic, unflattering, and out-and-out painful. With the kind of precision a surgeon employs with a scalpel, likely due to her experience practicing law, Robbins paints self-portraits that are equal parts comedic, heartbreaking, and ultimately empowering as she wrestles and triumphs with self-determination over her illness. The examples are descriptive in novel-like format, complete with actual characterization and dialogue. The result is a book that is equal parts motivational read as it is memoir on Robbin’s part, the latter aesthetical choice especially generous with respect to what she promotes. There is something curiously uplifting about the read as a whole, likely reinforced by the situational qualities of Robbin’s personal and professional worlds now. No matter how dark things become for her, all you need to do is put the book down (impossible to do) and remember you’re reading the self-professed ruminations and revelations of a post-modern, successful woman. Someone at a glance who, once again, seems like she has the entirety of the world in her pocket. If she can reach such a place in life despite all that darkness, then so can you…

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

“𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦.” ~ Wendy Tamis Robbins

Millions suffer from depression, social anxiety, and panic attacks; maybe you, like me, are one of them. Wendy Robbins has written about her personal journey with anxiety and the struggle to break free from its hold.

From a young age, Robbins sought to escape. Her thoughts always centered around the what-ifs - the worst-case scenarios. Her best way to cope was to put herself into a box: to insulate and isolate. How many times did she have to run out of class or a meeting to find a bathroom as her heartbeat a mile a minute, as the world closed in and her thoughts raced?

Even though she went on to acquire a law degree, travel, and marry. Anxiety was ruling her; she never made a choice without first giving anxiety a say. When Wendy finally decided to open the box she had constructed, she knew she had to get to the source of her anxiety and meet it head-on.

This is an incredible journey, one that I believe many who suffer from anxiety will feel a kinship with. I was nodding my head at many turns. Although everyone’s story is unique and their own, sometimes knowing you aren't alone can be of great comfort. Robbins is a lawyer, author, and speaker, and she believes that hearing other’s stories is what truly changed her life.

Thank you to @suzyapprovedbooktours and @wendy_tamis_robbins for an Invitation to the tour and a gifted copy.

[Dawnny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wendy Robbins has struggled with anxiety all her life. A successful attorney and athlete. In this memoir she shares how this debilitating Illness can over come you and take over your life. It can consume you until you feel forced into a box away from the world. I felt every bit of this. I have suffered with anxiety and panic but my son was totally consumed by it. A memoir of struggle, the strength to crawl out of what holds you back and getting to the root cause of it all. If you suffer from anxiety which leads to other illnesses like OCD this book is for you. It's very helpful. The author is courageous for sharing her story. So many can relate to it.

Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such an incredible book, I’m so glad the author shared her story with us. My husband suffers from major anxiety from PTSD and sometimes I think I’ve developed part of his anxiety. I felt myself saying yes and relating to a lot of portions in the book, hearing how the author confronted her anxiety and pushed through to live her dreams gives me hope. I think everyone will get something out of this book, regardless of your level of anxiety.

[Nicole reading_with_nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not ashamed to admit that anxiety has always been an issue for me.. There is not one thing in particular that brings it on, I just find that I am just a very anxious person by nature.. with the new job my anxiety has been through the roof.. I have learned that running, meditation, yoga and music are my outlets when I need to get it under control..
In this book Wendy has penned an honest look into her struggle with anxiety, she was very open to how it was debilitating to her; looking at her someone who is successful and has a great life it would be hard to believe that she could struggle with these issues.. but it does not matter what one has or how successful they are, mental health issues affect so many people.
Non fiction lovers this book is a great read, it is a candid look at mental health and Wendy's journey to gain control of her life. The book does not read as a self-help book, Wendy has openly shared her journey and how she got to be where she is with us..

[David Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful look from the inside of mental illness.
In this beautiful memoir you get to see the depths and debilitating aloneness of a woman who has fought her way out of 'the box' , the anxiety driven walls she put up from early childhood in an effort to help her cope with life as it came at her. Here she shares her journey from a life in turmoil to a humbling place of happiness, peace and understanding.
This book is not just for those suffering from extreme anxiety and depression but for everyone. This raw, insightful and sometimes emotional journey is one worth taking. In its pages there is something for everyone to take away from it. The author shares her story not only to help herself but to let others know they are not alone and that there are ways to overcome an anxiety driven life and that regaining your self worth and truly loving yourself is possible.
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Thank you to the author, Made For Success Publishing and Suzy Approved Book Tours for the gifted copy and including me on this tour.

[Jodie | GeauxGetLit · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir resonated with me deeply. I could relate in so many ways to Wendy and I appreciate her telling of her own personal experience with anxiety. I have so many thoughts and quotes that I will get back to.

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a memoir in which Wendy shares her journey over many years of living with anxiety and her voyage to live a “life on her own terms”.

The book is set into four distinct parts and each chapter really tells its own story. The chapters focus on pieces of Wendy’s life history, how anxiety became a natural part of her life, how she was able to move successfully out of the box, and the struggles that still surface in her life.

This book has a wonderful flow to it and was very thoughtfully written so that I think many of us can see pieces of ourselves or someone we love somewhere in the pages of this book.

This book really resonated with me and made me think. Wendy uses the box as being the place where you can hide inside and feel safety against all the things that create the anxiety. For Wendy, as a young child, this safe space was an actual box and as she got older the box was abstract but still held the same sense of protection.

I went through a time of intense anxiety where my workplace was my box. I remember getting in the car in the parking lot to go home and the anxiety was physically debilitating. This was a situational anxiety which luckily I was able to overcome, but when people tell me of having anxiety attacks those moments still feel like yesterday.

Thank you Wendy for sharing your personally struggles and successes as well as recognizing a memoir like this can help not only those with anxiety but also those that have love ones that are suffering.

[Booksandchinooks (Laurie)]

I think after what the last year and a half has presented to us this book will be helpful for many. Wendy Tamis Robbins suffered from anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorders etc from her early childhood through to her 40’s. The author is very accomplished in her life and it’s amazing how she achieved all her success while battling such severe anxiety and panic attacks. Once you let all of these medical issues start to take over your life you can feel like you’re living in a box - hence the title of the book. My heart broke for the author many times during her story and I’m so happy she was able to persevere and get out of the box. It certainly isn’t easy to settle your mind and rebuild your confidence when you feel you have no way out. I applaud the author for her honesty and bravery in telling her story.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir about the authors experience of anxiety at an early age and through her lifetime. Although her story is not exactly like mine and perhaps not yours, knowing you are not suffering alone is helpful. I also think the more someone can learn about mental health is so important to help those in your life.

Wendy’s anxiety controlled much of her life for years. One thing to note, however, is that her anxiety persisted despite a lot of success - very driven, top athlete through high school, going to Dartmouth and on to law school. Anxiety affected her view of her body, relationships, self-worth.

The memoir is easy to read through, and as far out as her descriptions of debilitating anxiety, I can tell you that they are very much true.

[Paulina Bellantonio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recently, I have been trying to take some time for introspection and self care. Really focusing on my mental health and trying to give it the attention that it so desperately needs.
In this book, Wendy shares her story. It is raw, honest and does not hold back. This book made me feel understood and less alone. It was encouraging to have someone put into words what I have been feeling for so many years. I truly appreciated this book and it is one that I expect to refer back to for years to come. I actually tabbed different sections that really spoke to me for quick and easy access, which is not something I ever do.
If you suffer from mental illness, or if you know someone who does and would like more insight on their experiences, this is definitely the book for you!

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not a book I would have been likely to pick up if I had had a number of other options- I chose it from a limited library of ebooks available through my job as a means of killing time during a slow period. Having said that, I did enjoy it and found it relatable in a number of ways. I could have done without quite as much of the "spiritual" aspect of it, but overall I found it inspiring and comforting. Not a bad way to kill a few hours that would otherwise have felt very long.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wendy speaks from experience, having been dealing with anxiety all her life. What makes this book so utterly powerful and surprising, is that by sharing her journey, she offers the reader a way out too. Must read for anyone, anxious or not.

[Nursebookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wonderful memoir could note have come at a better time than now. With what is going on in the world today, it is enough to paralyze just about anyone - from the pandemic, its resurgence, and other political, societal, personal, and professional issues, there are so much that could cause anxiety. However, in this memoir, Robbins’ courageous stories of resilience, forgiveness, and love brings hope and the positivity to win over this debilitating disorder. I really enjoyed this one!