Dear Sophie, Love Sophie: A Graphic Memoir in Diaries, Letters, and Lists―A Unique and Witty Reflection on Relationships, Identity, and Belonging

by Sophie Lucido Johnson

What would you say to your teenage self if you could?

Inspired by the journals she kept growing up, Sophie Lucido Johnson began an interactive conversation between her younger self and her current self. When she began the exercise, Sophie envisioned sharing important lessons on what it means to love your body, navigate relationships, and discover what fulfills you, no matter where life takes you. But as these "exchanges" deepened, adult Sophie discovered she had much to learn about life from young Sophie as well.

Fully illustrated with handwritten text, Dear Sophie, Love Sophie deftly explores topics like queer identity, body image, inherited trauma, belonging, privilege, heartbreak, first love, and much more in a unique and captivating way. Charming, witty, and poignant, it reminds us that wisdom is not limited by age.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, Nonfiction, Comics, Queer, LGBT, Graphic Novels Comics

256 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2022

Reviews

[soap · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was specifically written for me. Me and only me is the target audience.

[Kricket · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this graphic novel where "grown-up" Sophie re-reads diaries from her younger years and writes back to her. I would also like to recommend Sophie's newsletter, "You Are Doing A Good Enough Job" https://goodenoughjob.substack.com/ which is an absolute treasure to have show up in your inbox.

[Yem · Rating 5 out of 5]

“It took me such an embarrassingly long time to realize that feelings can’t be wrong. They just are.”

“If you don’t tell the truth you’ll never be able to trust that you’re worthy of anyone’s love.”

[Lizzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I’ve long loved Sophie’s writing - it’s always been a balm for me. I loved the illustrations, the young Sophie entries (so relatable) and the note at the end. I keep a journal as well and found Sophie’s exploration of her old diaries to be soothing, inspiring, insightful and funny. I inhaled this book in a day.

[Cindy (leavemetomybooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH. I’m a big fan of graphic memoirs (And Now We Spill the Family Secrets was one of my favorite books last year), and this one hit home especially hard because I have a thirteen-year-old daughter, and more than anything I want her teenage years and young adulthood to be much less fraught than mine. I want her to stay confident and comfortable with herself in a way that I’m still figuring out. This book is about Sophie’s personal journey, but so many of her experiences are relatable, and there’s a lot to learn from here. The whole idea of writing back and forth with your teenage self is so beautiful. Also: I am in madly in love with her illustration style. Highly recommended!!!

* thank you to HarperOne Books for my copy of the book. This comes out March 22!

[Jessie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the idea of writing letters to your younger self and getting to peer in on this author's own musings was so fun. The art style is also adorable

[maddie b !]

Required reading from Lu! TW: Self-harm, Eating Disorders

I love graphic memoirs.

"So all I can say is: Do better for the girls who come after you. Teach them that they're good enough just the way they are. Let them eat things that bring them joy. Wait as long as you possibly can before you use the word 'calorie' around them. And hope they'll listen."

"But the main things you get to do as a teacher are listen and hear. I mean 'hear' in a deep way that you won't understand right now, because the ability to listen to and truly hear other humans is what differentiates a child from an adult, and you're not an adult yet. Which is how it should be. Be a child as long as you need."

"Oh right! The point is that we belong to each other. You'll remember and you'll be gentle; you'll be kind."

"I don't steal, I don't lie, and I don't say mean things about people behind their backs. But these qualities do not make a person 'good.' The idea of good people necessitates that there must also be be bad people. I do not believe in bad people. I think people get hurst and act out of their hurt, and that causes them to behave badly sometimes. I think the worst things humans do come from their most heartbroken child selves, acting out against grownups who hurt them. It is only recently, too, that I started to believe that everyone has the capacity to heal. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would prefer to believe I am right."

I enjoyed this page in the comic because I feel this way intensely about my students. The term "bad kid" is thrown around in education frequently. I detest it. "There are no bad kids, just bad choices" is my typical response, but I am learning there is a threshold for the mindset in myself. The author seems to believe that hurt people act out, and this causes more hurt. But there is mounting evidence for the argument that maybe some people are just bad? And maybe previous hurt cannot excuse the persistent choice to act destructively? But just adults right? I suppose I am saying that I don't believe in 'bad kids,' but maybe I do believe in 'bad people?' And, perhaps, Good Reads is not the space for such processing, but tap into the convo and let me know what you think.

[Therese · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this for my daughter, who's been having a rough time in high school, because I thought it might help give her some perspective on the many ways life can get better in the future. Then I figured I should read it myself before giving it to her. For the most part I enjoyed it, although to me in my late forties, "grownup" Sophie in her mid thirties still seems really really young. There is some very heavy content - both young and grownup Sophie struggle with body image issues, trauma in general, an eating disorder, and cutting. Also, grownup Sophie kind of embraces a millennial brand of left-wing politics that I struggle with a bit - I've always sympathized with the compassionate spirit of this worldview, but I'm too much of a moderate temperamentally and intellectually to fully buy in to it. Grownup Sophie is also poly (as in polyamorous), and while this is mentioned only a couple of times in passing in the book, I imagine that might turn some readers off. What I really appreciate about the book though is the honesty and vulnerability and humor of it, and the role-modeling of compassion toward the self through struggles and emotional pain. That resonated with me, and I'm still giving it to my daughter in hopes it will resonate with her too.

[Kira · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came away from this book really liking Sophie Lucido Johnson, and I’m excited to read more of her work. It’s so moving to write back to your younger self, and she illustrates that process so beautifully here. I was often really moved and taking pictures of pages to look at again later.

A few points of critique: There are several points where she’s educating her younger self on issues of privilege, sexuality, etc. At some of these moments, I wondered whether the book was actually aimed at a teenage audience, because the concepts felt pretty elementary. I wished that she had found a way to speak to her younger self that would resonate more for an adult reader who’s ready to engage with these concepts with a lot of nuance.

ALSO, there’s a lot in here about bodies and weight. It’s clear to me that she’s trying to be thoughtful about this and is working through her own issues, but I think a content warning for calorie counting, etc. is definitely needed. It comes up a lot, to the point that some folks might not want to engage with this book.

[Amanda Almén · Rating 4 out of 5]

Boken får mig att tänka, den blir som ett litet terapisamtal med tonårs-Amanda. Hon som också skrev dagböcker, som hade svårt att ta in stora världshändelser (för det som skedde i kroppen och knoppen var så mycket större än allt annat), som älskade med hela sitt hjärta, funderade över sin vikt och sina träningspass och sina prestationer och inte hade lärt sig att välja bort personer som gjorde henne illa. Jag skakar hand med en del minnen och går tillsammans med Sophie och gör upp med det förgångna, eller iallafall, accepterar det. Det här är en fin liten bok med mycket kärlek, smärta och ärlighet som jag önskar att någon hade satt i mina händer när jag gick på gymnasiet.

[Carolyn Baird · Rating 5 out of 5]

everyone should read this book

[chats · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thoughtful, tender look at the way we grow and change and learn, and an invitation to treat our present selves with the same kindness. A must read. Also hilarious.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO GOOD!

[Tracy Schillemore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was lovely. Even if you're not a graphic reader I think thar most of us will identify with a lot of these sentiments.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful and honest letter from a current self to a past younger self. Much wisdom.

[Lee Noodle · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has kept a diary on and off since I was 11, and is now doing the work to validate and incorporate younger selves, this book healed part of my soul. 💚💚💚

[EGA · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gutting, beautiful, validating, tender. Makes me want to try journaling again as a therapeutic practice.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this and found many things I can relate to. It was a good reminder of how difficult the teen years are, with a mix of nostalgia as well.

[forest !!! · Rating 5 out of 5]

i thought this book was super cute !! it was rlly cool how she had so many diary entries from her past to reflect on ! and i like how she more comforted her past self than talking bad towards her !! very cute book and also i love all the drawings !

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is (vegan) chicken soup for my specific teenage soul.

[Callie · Rating 2 out of 5]

soon after opening this book, i realized it wasn't for me. the whole thing felt like a weirdly juxtaposed mix of being very societally aware, to the point of it being a preachy white person, to having many common and significant struggles. for being so preachy one would think it got more right but it would have helped to have a sensitivity reader. the conversation surrounding weight was really uncomfortable for me and made me want to count calories like i was in middle school. it weirdly justified self harm, only to contradict itself- which- self harm is a coping mechanism, not an ideal one, but one that is complicated and not tackled quite in the best way here. i understand that it was the authors truth, and that's wonderful for her, but for me, it wasn't it. additionally, a lot of the things surrounding gender and sexuality felt like they were just gently put in there to appeal to the reader like "hey I'm like that too" but there wasn't any substance beyond just saying it to me. there wasn't a story to it, it was just like my friend came out and he was gay and i am pan, it's hard sometimes and identity is complicated. and again, good for you if that's your truth, but it just wasn't where i am. what the whole thing boils down to is the fact that the whole book does in fact read like a diary of a normal person, without much of a story. it reads like an inside joke meant for a select few. and again ! that's wonderful for those people but I'm just not there with you.

there are some parts that i think are valuable like being grateful and accepting your own truths about yourself and being kind to those around you and a weird little appreciation letter for weird al, but i don't think it's enough for most people to enjoy it.

the book is probably best for a semi-angsty early teen.

tl;dr: it's definitely more for the author than for the audience, even if she doesn't mean for it to be

[Kate Rood · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an avid letter writer, I loved this book so much. I paused every few pages to think back to my own high school years and what I’d say to my high school self. I’ve been learning more about self-compassion these past few years, and these gorgeous reflections and images will stay with me for a long time as I try to remember daily to be kind to myself.

[Ang · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting. Not my fave graphic memoir I've ever read, but not a waste of time.

That said, there is some VERY triggering stuff in here re: eating, bodies and fatness. I *almost* put the book down because of it.

[Tina · Rating 2 out of 5]

pg 72 author uses the terf terminology referring to women as “womxn” twice

[Ashley Holstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

So lovely.

[hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

cw: disordered eating, fatphobia, self harm, depression,

[Lu]

I picked this up very spontaneously in the graphic memoir section of the library, and I’m so glad I did (let’s take a minute and thank Maia Kobabe and eir comic Gender Queer for introducing me to this genre).

This book is written in conversation with Sophie’s childhood journal entries. She writes to her past self, giving Young Sophie grace from the posture of an adult, which is a project I’m interested in doing myself. I’ve written journal entries on and off since 2014, and this made me want to start transcribing my old journals and unraveling my issues from a more omniscient standpoint. Her writing about her sister is how I feel about Hali, which made me tear up reading it in bed next to her because she’s visiting me this week.

“This sounds like an after-school special, but I swear it’s true: listening to other people is a great deal more interesting, fulfilling, & invigorating than getting other people to listen to you. As human beings, we belong to each other. In the future, this gets even harder to believe… Sometimes you’ll remember. You’ll go to a peace rally & everyone will start singing with one voice; or you’ll show up to plant trees on a Saturday with a bunch of people from your neighborhood; or you’ll be listening to a room full of young people who will remind you of yourself at that age— & you’ll think, Oh right. The point is that we belong to each other. You’ll remember & you’ll be gentle; you’ll be kind. And really, you could do ANYTHING with your life— you could train dolphins or crunch numbers or harvest carrots or whatever— & as long as you remember that tenet of connection, life will feel, at least pretty often, full & interesting & just & right. Pit-of-your-stomach right.”

WHAT THE FUCK SOPHIE!

I was SO MOVED by her description of trauma and release and “her monster,” which is how she refers to that little voice inside us that tells us we aren’t enough. The drawings were gorgeous. You can tell she’s read Emergent Strategy before she calls it out by name.

“Dear Sophie,
Wow. That is a lot. Did you ever think that all you wanted (or maybe needed) was for someone to tell you you were right, what you were going through WAS a lot?
It’s a small & simple thing that is hard to ask for: validation that you’re not crazy for feeling like the world is crashing in all around you…”

“You & I are greedy for life. & life is disorganized & messy & pretty universally a maximalist endeavor.”

“Dear Sophie,
Alexis, your sister, is your number one best friend in the whole entire world. She is your person. She is your purpose. She is the reason you wake up each day & go to bed each night.”

Loved the letter to Future Sophie. This was just so good.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been on a graphic memoir kick ever since I read Fun Home back in 2014. I think it takes a certain someone to be able to self-reflect AND design a visual language, layout, and story. I think there is a certain feeling of poignancy to be so initiate with your childhood history, and then cut out most of those wispy memories and distill it a wordless page. Recently I’ve read Middle School Friends and Gender Queer, both books I picked up on a whim. And I loved them. In this case, I was already familiar with the author as I read her Substack and her Instagram and purposefully sought out her book.

‘Dear Sophie, Love Sophie’ is a dialogue between the unabridged diary entries of a 2001 high school sophomore, and the uplifting graphical responses and advice from a Present Sophie, 35 years young. Main refrain? You are loved and will be loved, you are good enough.

Interestingly, most graphic novel authors focus on the lessons they’ve learned during their formative years. For Johnson, most of Young Sophie’s lessons would go unanswered until after high school. Leaving high school to be 100% validated traumatic and Present Sophie to tell her how it gets better (or the same). Edit: as I am writing this, I realize that Maia Kobabe in Gender Queer learns most during and after college, so never mind.

I’ve found all of these authors to have lots of advice but also lots of questions for their current selves too. Johnson seems the most assured that she is an adult, and yet she is also the author with direct questions to Future Sophie in the epilogue. I would love to read a graphic memoir from someone who has already lived out most of their life’s adventures!

Johnson chose a smaller page size with larger panels, leaving often a single visualizer per page. I think this is a unique way to do a Graphic Novel layout and was quite the page turner. I would say this made it feel more like postcards across the timescape from Sophie to Sophie, rather than a comicbook graphic novel for an anonymous reader. Intimate, really.

I would probably recommend friends other books before this one, as I find her advice on her newsletter to be better for a general audience, an open conversation. This felt more like a well written and preserved artifact, a public diary from one to oneself.

I will be reading Johnson’s recommended list.

[Kade Reimer · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If you don’t tell the truth you’ll never be able to trust that you’re worthy of anyone’s love.”

This was an emotional, thoughtful and honest graphic novel. I have never seen a book composed entirely of letters to different younger selves. The words were filled with such compassion but also brutal honesty. Also, the artwork was essential to this novel. It complemented the story so well.

"It took me such an embarrassingly long time to realize that feelings can't be wrong. They just are. Reactions that seem disproportionate to their triggers are usually rooted in something deeper. Deep lining, deep hurt, deep unmet need. Hurt does not equal weakness" (141).
I like this idea of honouring different emotions (that there isn't anything inherently bad with emotions such as sadness, anger and hurt). I also appreciate the reflection that past experiences inform current ways we interact with our world.

"After these things are gone & I can't summit pretty hills anymore or bend over a river, I want to have what I have now: memories strong enough to turn over like little stones; knowledge that I lived every moment of my life, even as it passed me by" (49).
What a beautiful articulation of how moments in life live on. That we can use memories long after they are gone. It's a call to take control of our lives but also acknowledge that life does, by nature, pass over us.

Highly recommend this book to see a thoughtful journey of investigating how past, present and future intersect. It is a call to consider how we treat past selves and who we will become for our future selves.

[Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This took me a long time to read as I wanted to savor it. The content and advice for the most part didn’t surprise me- Sophie’s relationship with food is a very familiar story, even if it’s not one I can relate to. I COULD however relate to the small boobs bit, which was unexpected and delightful. The real surprise to me was the respect she gave her former self. I could not read back on old diaries if I had them with anything other than horror and distain. The love and understanding she has for young Sophie is such a delight. I imagine it makes her a really good teacher. Time is such a funny thing. There are some entries in the past that acknowledge her future self, so interesting. But then it’s wild as older Sophie who has been looking back for the bulk of the book looks forward addressing HER future Sophie- who I feel I know now from reading her newsletters! It’s strange when a public person puts so much of her private life out there- even though I’m a stranger, I know more about her just from being in the future and do following her than she knew about herself, not that long ago.