One Headlight

by Matthew Frye-Castillo

"Quirky humor, bright language, and sharp emotional insight." — Joe Okonkwo, author of Edmund White Award for Debut Fiction winner Jazz Moon

"Like no other book I have read. It will entertain you as it crushes you." — Martha Amore, Editor of Lambda Literary Nominated Building Fires in the Snow


"Caprioli’s prose is frank and insightful, finding the lyricism in everyday objects, turns of phrase, and locales.... His portrait of Abby is the soul of the book, and she’s revealed as a larger-than-life character who exhibits real problems, and who causes problems for the author, as well. However, she never loses the reader’s sympathy, thanks to his nuanced, nonjudgmental portrayal. The result is a moving rumination on the varying roles that a mother can play in a son’s life, for better and for worse. An affecting and surprising remembrance about the responsibilities of parents and children." - Kirkus Reviews

Matt Caprioli never belonged in Alaska: too gay, too bookish, a faltering vegetarian. As a spiritual and sensitive young boy, he’s raised by the exuberant and radiant but deeply impractical Abby Henry, who doesn’t view his baptism in a horse trough or machete marks on their new apartment door as peculiar. Abby works as a baker in Anchorage, so the two leave Lazy Mountain each morning at 3:30am to drive through single-digit weather in a rickety, church-donated Mustang with no passenger window, no snow tires, and one headlight. Lacking money and direction, Caprioli nonetheless adores his mother and the world they share.

As a young man, Caprioli leaves Alaska to chase his dream of writing in Manhattan, along the way working as a journalist and sex worker. His bond with his mother is tested as Caprioli tries to forget where he comes from. But when Abby falls ill at 53, Caprioli returns to Anchorage to care for her, and is forced to reckon with the true meaning of home.

In telling his story, Caprioli captures the love and joy of our deepest bonds, of the myths and hopes surrounding America’s largest state, and the momentous power of a quiet drive with those we love.

Genres: Nonfiction

242 pages, Paperback

First published August 6, 2021

Reviews

[Marty Savell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful portrait of love and grief with some quirky Alaska stuff (which is fun if you are from Alaska).

[A. Harnish · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful exploration of the fraught mother / gay son relationship. The memoir is also special for its account of multiply-marginalized Alaskan life -- the author contended with so much while coming of age in Anchorage and Palmer: emotional abuse, poverty, family illness, and he faced these challenges with verve and wit. The mother, too, is richly drawn -- full of complex love, grace, and need. I came away from the book deeply moved and inspired.

[Madi Burgess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent story telling. As someone who also grew up in Alaska, it made me laugh and weep with understanding and nostalgia. However, the story is for everyone.

[Naheed Patel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, moving queer coming-of-age memoir set in Alaska with a narrative voice that is funny, sensitive and emotionally sharp. For fans of Garrard Conley, Garth Greenwell and Brandon Taylor.

[A · Rating 3 out of 5]

🦹🏻🦯

[Lucian Childs · Rating 4 out of 5]

In my experience, there is no greater or more abiding love for a gay man than the one he shares with his mother. She is, at turns, confidant and best friend, tyrant and tormentor, someone to turn to for deep comfort and to flee at all costs. It is this deep vein of humanity that Matt Caprioli mines in his memoir, “One Headlight.” It is a paean to his rough and tumble Alaska childhood, his early struggles with poverty, with his sexuality, and his ultimate blossoming into a sexy, confident, young gay man. But it is more than another coming-of-age story. It is a love letter to his mother, Abby, a lively woman, who navigates the world with humor and humility, doing her best with the hand she was dealt, both for herself and for the son she so clearly adores. { Cross-posted at my website. }

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