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When a Brown Girl Flees
After Zahra Paracha makes a decision at odds with her beliefs, her mother forces Zahra to make an impossible choice about her future. So Zahra runs away. A train and a plane ride later, she finds herself in New York, where she relinquishes her past in favor of a new future. There, she must learn who she is without the marionette strings of control in her mother's hands. There, she must learn who she wishes to become.
On Long Island, Zahra stays at a bed & breakfast, unsure of her place in the world. Anxious, depressed, and grappling with guilt, she wanders aimlessly. She eventually visits the local masjid, where she is befriended by two sisters and drawn into the welcoming Muslim community there.
It is in this place of safety that Zahra's healing truly begins--but can she create a home for herself when the foundation is built on lies she's spun to protect her from the past? When a family friend recognizes her, will everything come crashing down? As Zahra tries to build a life for herself in this new place, the heart of the matter becomes clear: she can't run away forever. Can she close the rift in her family and truly, fully heal?
In this powerful novel from new voice Aamna Qureshi, a Muslim teen goes on a breathtaking journey to find her home and--more importantly--herself.
On Long Island, Zahra stays at a bed & breakfast, unsure of her place in the world. Anxious, depressed, and grappling with guilt, she wanders aimlessly. She eventually visits the local masjid, where she is befriended by two sisters and drawn into the welcoming Muslim community there.
It is in this place of safety that Zahra's healing truly begins--but can she create a home for herself when the foundation is built on lies she's spun to protect her from the past? When a family friend recognizes her, will everything come crashing down? As Zahra tries to build a life for herself in this new place, the heart of the matter becomes clear: she can't run away forever. Can she close the rift in her family and truly, fully heal?
In this powerful novel from new voice Aamna Qureshi, a Muslim teen goes on a breathtaking journey to find her home and--more importantly--herself.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published September 19, 2023
28 people are currently reading
6901 people want to read
About the author
Aamna Qureshi
10 books852 followersAamna Qureshi is a Pakistani, Muslim American who adores words. She is an award-winning and USA Today, Amazon, and Times bestselling author who grew up on Long Island, New York, in a very loud household, surrounded by English (for school), Urdu (for conversation), and Punjabi (for emotion). Much of her childhood was spent being grounded for reading past her bed-time, writing stories in the backs of her notebooks, and being scolded by teachers for passing chapters under the tables. Through her writing, she wishes to inspire a love for the beautiful country and rich culture that informed much of her identity.
When she's not writing, she loves to travel to new places where she can explore different cultures or to Pakistan where she can revitalize her roots. She also loves baking complicated desserts, drinking fancy teas and coffees, watching sappy rom-coms, and going for walks about the estate (her backyard). She currently lives in New York. Look for her on IG @aamna_qureshi and Twitter @aamnaqureshi_ and at her website aamnaqureshi.com.
When she's not writing, she loves to travel to new places where she can explore different cultures or to Pakistan where she can revitalize her roots. She also loves baking complicated desserts, drinking fancy teas and coffees, watching sappy rom-coms, and going for walks about the estate (her backyard). She currently lives in New York. Look for her on IG @aamna_qureshi and Twitter @aamnaqureshi_ and at her website aamnaqureshi.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 133 reviews
February 2, 2023
(please be mindful of TWs: depression, anxiety, emotional abuse, physical abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation, slut-shaming, PTSD)
I first wrote this book in the spring of 2016, when I was a senior in high school and going through a lot of the aches and pains Zahra is going through. I was dealing with a lot of the same confusions and discomforts that accompany growing up. Everything seemed like a question mark. Everything hurt.
I didn’t know how to navigate this world as a teenage girl, as a Muslim, as a Pakistani-American, as a hijabi, as a daughter . . .as anything. I felt so pressured -- as teens on the precipice of adulthood often do -- to know everything. Thus the not-knowing, wretched enough, was made twice so by everyone’s expectations and my inability to fulfill them.
When I started writing this book, I truly had no idea how it would end. I didn’t know what answers to give my main character because I didn’t have the answers myself. But somehow, writing this book, the answers came to me, and I was able to grow alongside my characters. I hope, too, that this book gives you answers.
This story is a love letter to oneself. It’s the type of book I wish I could have read when I was growing up, and it’s the type of book I hope brings healing and clarity to whoever reads it.
While I took great care in crafting this story and hope that I handled the sensitive topics therein with delicacy, please forgive me if you feel I mishandled any aspect of this book. The last thing in the world I want to do is cause anyone pain, especially with my words.
all my love,
aamna
I first wrote this book in the spring of 2016, when I was a senior in high school and going through a lot of the aches and pains Zahra is going through. I was dealing with a lot of the same confusions and discomforts that accompany growing up. Everything seemed like a question mark. Everything hurt.
I didn’t know how to navigate this world as a teenage girl, as a Muslim, as a Pakistani-American, as a hijabi, as a daughter . . .as anything. I felt so pressured -- as teens on the precipice of adulthood often do -- to know everything. Thus the not-knowing, wretched enough, was made twice so by everyone’s expectations and my inability to fulfill them.
When I started writing this book, I truly had no idea how it would end. I didn’t know what answers to give my main character because I didn’t have the answers myself. But somehow, writing this book, the answers came to me, and I was able to grow alongside my characters. I hope, too, that this book gives you answers.
This story is a love letter to oneself. It’s the type of book I wish I could have read when I was growing up, and it’s the type of book I hope brings healing and clarity to whoever reads it.
While I took great care in crafting this story and hope that I handled the sensitive topics therein with delicacy, please forgive me if you feel I mishandled any aspect of this book. The last thing in the world I want to do is cause anyone pain, especially with my words.
all my love,
aamna
July 10, 2025
̨ ╭╯ꗃ 04. 02. 25 ˚﹒
┆ “But what about the colour? The colour that Allah had put within me and my life. It had been there all along—I just hadn’t noticed it.”┆
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ thoughts
╰› Re-read #3. Reading this made my heart physically hurt this time around because it reminded me of how my life changed after my last read in ways I didn't want it to 💗
I… have no words 😭 I did NOT expect for this book to be the way it is– I actually went into this blind without knowing what the story is about– and oh did my soul break while reading this. Trigger warnings, this IS a little bit of a heavy review, but a heavy review for a heavy book. And I wrote this at 1 in the morning, so please ignore how it's all over the place !!
My best friend told me she thought I’d probably relate to this book a lot and warned me, but “a lot” was an understatement and I dismissed the warning. I felt this book to my CORE. It HURT to read. Tears fell while my internal wounds were being pried open, like I genuinely have never read truer words. It was like a glimpse into my own head, my own thoughts, and that made me feel so, so vulnerable. That sounds a little silly, how does a book make you feel vulnerable? But it did. Zahra’s struggles, her pain, her growth was all just so RAW.
I love, LOVE how Aamna wrote about Islam– you can FEEL her love for it through her words. This book mainly shows how Allah is always with you– in your lowest and your highest– even if you aren’t with Him. The way she depicted it only reminds me of one quote, “How beautiful is the suffering that brings you closer to Allah?”
┆ “But most of all I thanked Him for this clarity within me, this appreciation and this sight that could cherish all the abundances my life was overflowing with.”┆
It’s so heartbreakingly beautiful how full and content you can feel even in your darkest times, simply because you have Allah. I’ve been through a lot in my life, and though the pain and impact of it still affects me– alhamdulillah. I cannot begin to express this enough. Without the suffering I went through, I would not be who I am right now. My relationship with Allah would be down the drain, I would have been one of the people of this fleeting dunya. I’m STILL going through a lot right now, but now I know I’ll be okay because I have Him. I take my struggles as a means to get closer to Him, and nothing more brings me peace. Those late nights when I’m praying and my forehead is on the ground and I cry and I talk to Him knowing He only wants the best for me? Trading that for this dunya sounds impossible.
And I loved the way Aamna showed the love of this ummah and how you’ll never feel at home with anyone else BUT your people. The masjid should be a safe space, you should feel comforted and safe by the sight of your sisters and brothers in Islam. THAT is home.
The mental health aspect also got to me as well 😭 the hole Zahra went into reminded me so much of the hole I went into during one of the worst times of my life.
And when it came to self-harm, I kept thinking about what my sister once told me a couple years ago when I was at my worst, “Your body is not yours to harm. It’s Allah’s. You are destroying His creation.” But that being said, the struggle of that is a lot more difficult than what most people think, and most people don’t understand it as well– especially in the Muslim community. I think we’re all quick to judge and be disgusted by someone for things we could never understand, and that’s not good at all. “Why would you EVER hurt yourself?” The reasonings behind it are plenty, and they’re reasonings that pain me to think about. And once you start, it IS hard to stop. It becomes a coping mechanism, it’s like a drug. Addicting. The whole thing sounds and IS super messed up, but it’s a very real thing. So for whoever reads this book, I would really tell you to do your best to understand people who self-harm.
My note to Aamna Qureshi– I give all my hugs and salam to you because I really appreciate you for writing this. May Allah bless you, continue to make your words touch people’s hearts, and grant you incredible success. ALSO, I APPLAUD YOU FOR THE PROPER MUSLIM REP 😊 fiction books that truly show what being Muslim is like is a rare find unfortunately, so this pleased me a lot. Thank you.
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ spice level
╰› There’s no romance for Zahra, but there’s a smaalllll romance for her best friend Haya– nothing too much though, which was nice because as much as I love romance, this book doesn’t need it.
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ characters
┆"... And he kept looking. Was it because he thought I was cute or because I looked like a terrorist?” ┆
╰› Zahra– I had to put that quote, I’m sorry 😭 when I read it I genuinely jumped with joy because I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT. Which one is it pls 😞
┆ "Letting all your emotions and frustrations out- I always end up crying. And no one likes crying. Opening your heart like that- it hurts. It was unbearably painful, which was exactly why I avoided it. It just made me feel worse.”┆
┆ “I kept myself at arm’s length from everyone, everything, because once cared, I cared too much. And that was too scary for me to bear.””┆
Anyway, I don’t relate to Zahra about the marriage and things, but everything else? guys, she’s literally my TWIN. 🥰 Her soul is so pure, like I wish I actually knew Zahra because if I did, I would give her the biggest hug and probably cry for her. I love her so much, her growth makes my heart swell with pride. I want to make du’a for her too but she’s a fictional character– wait random ramble in between but when I get into Jannah inshallah, I can ask Allah to make her real HELLO WAIT THATS SO EXCITING
┆ “The words raised a lump in my throat. It was hard to believe. after everything I've done, the sins I had committed- would Allah truly come running to me? If only I took a step toward Him? No it couldn't be. It wouldn't.”┆
Moving forward– her connection with Allah. Wallahi my heart ached when she spoke of Allah because same, girl, same. I didn’t think Allah could love me after everything I did. How could He? I was such a horrible person, my mistakes were something I’d never forgive myself for. I was so ashamed of the things I did and I hated myself for it so, so much. So instead of turning to Him, I turned away. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t think He wanted me. I honestly thought Allah HATED me. I thought that I deserved everything I went through, and it was just the punishment I’d go through in this dunya. But then last year, after I moved and met my best friend, my life started brightening up despite the problems in it still simply because I started praying again. Just that one small act changed everything. I began to learn more about my religion and my Creator, and I began feeling full again. I saw the lessons behind everything that had happened to me, I saw Allah’s hand in it all, and I saw that it was all a part of His plan for me to find myself and to find Him.
Go to Allah walking, and He’ll come to you running.
Zahra turning back to Allah was such a beautiful thing, and it wasn’t quick or big gestures. It was slow, small steps that led her to her level of iman, just like how praying again was for me, and I think we should all implement that into our lives. And I love how she went from not thinking Allah would forgive her to realizing His mercy is infinite.
Zahra’s issues with her mom. Wowwieeie did that HURT to read about because though the experiences and actions of Zahra’s mom were completely different, it felt so similar to my issues with my mom 😍 the end literally made me sob because that conversation between them was so painful to read. But even with our issues, I love my mom so much– I would not be where I am without her. She’s an amazing person who does as much as she can for me and my siblings and tries her best to fix her shortcomings despite all of which she’s been through.
The thing about generational trauma is that sometimes, you can’t help it and you have to see it for what it is. Though it sucks and I genuinely hate it, we forget how our parents have been brought up sometimes. Sometimes they react to things the way they do because that’s the only way they’ve been TAUGHT to react. It’s not about you. Yes, they should do their best to change, but you can’t hate them if they falter. They’re humans too.
The sin Zahra committed, she is STRONG for being able to come back from that. I cannot imagine what I’d do in that situation, and may Allah protect us all from being in a situation like that. I genuinely admire her so much 😭
┆ “She said Allah sends people our way when we least expect them.”┆
┆ “If Allah created us perfect, we would have been angels,” she told me. “But He knew we would screw up. He knew we would err again and again and again; that’s how He made us. So it’s okay. Accept your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. He is the Most Merciful.”┆
╰› Haya– while one of my friends were reading this book a couple weeks ago, she said that the relationship between the main character and her best friend reminded her of me and my best friend a lot, and I honestly see it 🥹 A huge part of why I changed last year was because of her, just like Haya was for Zahra. I really do not think I’d be as close to my deen as I am now without her because it’s the conversations we had, the experiences we both went through that really opened my eyes. She encouraged me to grow and she pushed me to do my best, and our friendship was genuinely the last one I had expected. I had prayed and prayed for good friends, and she was the answer to my du’a. Alhamdulillah for her, no one has ever understood me the way she does.
I love Haya’s relationship with Zahra so much, I actually teared up at their conversation in the end. I feel like REAL female friendships aren’t portrayed well enough, and it’s such a beautiful thing when done right. Allah gave us sisterhood for a reason, and we truly underestimate it until we get a taste of it and lose it. I love how Haya was there for Zahra throughout the book, and it’s the way Haya LOVED. She loved for the sake of Allah, and that was evident. The friends that remind you of Allah are the friends who will lead you into Jannah. In every struggle, Allah was brought up, and that’s how it should be.
Haya as a person was just such a vibe, like she’s so bubbly and kind I want a friend like her so badly 🥹
And winkwink, Carlos 🤭 I WANT TO SEE THEM GET MARRIED SO BAD PLS.
Ahsen & Sadaf– We love ourselves a good older sibling 🥹 I love Sadaf for how close she was with Haya and how she stuck with her through everything- and Sadaf really reminds me of my sister. My sister has always been such a huge part of my life and without her love and care and all her advice, I don't know what I would have done. And I love Ahsen for his change and growth that happened after Zahra left- his reaction in the end broke my heart😭. Ahsen and Sadaf have love story potential, her beloved tortured tool 😊
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ quotes
┆ “My life had been so full, so why had I felt so empty in it?”┆
┆ “Life is messy. By trying to define myself, I was confining myself. Definitions created little boxes. You had to color in the lines. But life didn’t give you crayons to simply color within a set little rectangle on your sheet. Life gave you wondrous glitter and paint and charcoal to draw wherever the hell you wanted, to create your own picture of beauty.”┆
┆ “You had to love more than you hated, and even that was difficult.”┆
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ overall
╰› I 100% recommend, but the book is REALLY heavy so I’d look at the trigger warnings and consider if it is something you can handle 💗
┆ “But what about the colour? The colour that Allah had put within me and my life. It had been there all along—I just hadn’t noticed it.”┆
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ thoughts
╰› Re-read #3. Reading this made my heart physically hurt this time around because it reminded me of how my life changed after my last read in ways I didn't want it to 💗
I… have no words 😭 I did NOT expect for this book to be the way it is– I actually went into this blind without knowing what the story is about– and oh did my soul break while reading this. Trigger warnings, this IS a little bit of a heavy review, but a heavy review for a heavy book. And I wrote this at 1 in the morning, so please ignore how it's all over the place !!
My best friend told me she thought I’d probably relate to this book a lot and warned me, but “a lot” was an understatement and I dismissed the warning. I felt this book to my CORE. It HURT to read. Tears fell while my internal wounds were being pried open, like I genuinely have never read truer words. It was like a glimpse into my own head, my own thoughts, and that made me feel so, so vulnerable. That sounds a little silly, how does a book make you feel vulnerable? But it did. Zahra’s struggles, her pain, her growth was all just so RAW.
I love, LOVE how Aamna wrote about Islam– you can FEEL her love for it through her words. This book mainly shows how Allah is always with you– in your lowest and your highest– even if you aren’t with Him. The way she depicted it only reminds me of one quote, “How beautiful is the suffering that brings you closer to Allah?”
┆ “But most of all I thanked Him for this clarity within me, this appreciation and this sight that could cherish all the abundances my life was overflowing with.”┆
It’s so heartbreakingly beautiful how full and content you can feel even in your darkest times, simply because you have Allah. I’ve been through a lot in my life, and though the pain and impact of it still affects me– alhamdulillah. I cannot begin to express this enough. Without the suffering I went through, I would not be who I am right now. My relationship with Allah would be down the drain, I would have been one of the people of this fleeting dunya. I’m STILL going through a lot right now, but now I know I’ll be okay because I have Him. I take my struggles as a means to get closer to Him, and nothing more brings me peace. Those late nights when I’m praying and my forehead is on the ground and I cry and I talk to Him knowing He only wants the best for me? Trading that for this dunya sounds impossible.
And I loved the way Aamna showed the love of this ummah and how you’ll never feel at home with anyone else BUT your people. The masjid should be a safe space, you should feel comforted and safe by the sight of your sisters and brothers in Islam. THAT is home.
The mental health aspect also got to me as well 😭 the hole Zahra went into reminded me so much of the hole I went into during one of the worst times of my life.
And when it came to self-harm, I kept thinking about what my sister once told me a couple years ago when I was at my worst, “Your body is not yours to harm. It’s Allah’s. You are destroying His creation.” But that being said, the struggle of that is a lot more difficult than what most people think, and most people don’t understand it as well– especially in the Muslim community. I think we’re all quick to judge and be disgusted by someone for things we could never understand, and that’s not good at all. “Why would you EVER hurt yourself?” The reasonings behind it are plenty, and they’re reasonings that pain me to think about. And once you start, it IS hard to stop. It becomes a coping mechanism, it’s like a drug. Addicting. The whole thing sounds and IS super messed up, but it’s a very real thing. So for whoever reads this book, I would really tell you to do your best to understand people who self-harm.
My note to Aamna Qureshi– I give all my hugs and salam to you because I really appreciate you for writing this. May Allah bless you, continue to make your words touch people’s hearts, and grant you incredible success. ALSO, I APPLAUD YOU FOR THE PROPER MUSLIM REP 😊 fiction books that truly show what being Muslim is like is a rare find unfortunately, so this pleased me a lot. Thank you.
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ spice level
╰› There’s no romance for Zahra, but there’s a smaalllll romance for her best friend Haya– nothing too much though, which was nice because as much as I love romance, this book doesn’t need it.
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ characters
┆"... And he kept looking. Was it because he thought I was cute or because I looked like a terrorist?” ┆
╰› Zahra– I had to put that quote, I’m sorry 😭 when I read it I genuinely jumped with joy because I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT. Which one is it pls 😞
┆ "Letting all your emotions and frustrations out- I always end up crying. And no one likes crying. Opening your heart like that- it hurts. It was unbearably painful, which was exactly why I avoided it. It just made me feel worse.”┆
┆ “I kept myself at arm’s length from everyone, everything, because once cared, I cared too much. And that was too scary for me to bear.””┆
Anyway, I don’t relate to Zahra about the marriage and things, but everything else? guys, she’s literally my TWIN. 🥰 Her soul is so pure, like I wish I actually knew Zahra because if I did, I would give her the biggest hug and probably cry for her. I love her so much, her growth makes my heart swell with pride. I want to make du’a for her too but she’s a fictional character– wait random ramble in between but when I get into Jannah inshallah, I can ask Allah to make her real HELLO WAIT THATS SO EXCITING
┆ “The words raised a lump in my throat. It was hard to believe. after everything I've done, the sins I had committed- would Allah truly come running to me? If only I took a step toward Him? No it couldn't be. It wouldn't.”┆
Moving forward– her connection with Allah. Wallahi my heart ached when she spoke of Allah because same, girl, same. I didn’t think Allah could love me after everything I did. How could He? I was such a horrible person, my mistakes were something I’d never forgive myself for. I was so ashamed of the things I did and I hated myself for it so, so much. So instead of turning to Him, I turned away. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t think He wanted me. I honestly thought Allah HATED me. I thought that I deserved everything I went through, and it was just the punishment I’d go through in this dunya. But then last year, after I moved and met my best friend, my life started brightening up despite the problems in it still simply because I started praying again. Just that one small act changed everything. I began to learn more about my religion and my Creator, and I began feeling full again. I saw the lessons behind everything that had happened to me, I saw Allah’s hand in it all, and I saw that it was all a part of His plan for me to find myself and to find Him.
Go to Allah walking, and He’ll come to you running.
Zahra turning back to Allah was such a beautiful thing, and it wasn’t quick or big gestures. It was slow, small steps that led her to her level of iman, just like how praying again was for me, and I think we should all implement that into our lives. And I love how she went from not thinking Allah would forgive her to realizing His mercy is infinite.
Zahra’s issues with her mom. Wowwieeie did that HURT to read about because though the experiences and actions of Zahra’s mom were completely different, it felt so similar to my issues with my mom 😍 the end literally made me sob because that conversation between them was so painful to read. But even with our issues, I love my mom so much– I would not be where I am without her. She’s an amazing person who does as much as she can for me and my siblings and tries her best to fix her shortcomings despite all of which she’s been through.
The thing about generational trauma is that sometimes, you can’t help it and you have to see it for what it is. Though it sucks and I genuinely hate it, we forget how our parents have been brought up sometimes. Sometimes they react to things the way they do because that’s the only way they’ve been TAUGHT to react. It’s not about you. Yes, they should do their best to change, but you can’t hate them if they falter. They’re humans too.
The sin Zahra committed, she is STRONG for being able to come back from that. I cannot imagine what I’d do in that situation, and may Allah protect us all from being in a situation like that. I genuinely admire her so much 😭
┆ “She said Allah sends people our way when we least expect them.”┆
┆ “If Allah created us perfect, we would have been angels,” she told me. “But He knew we would screw up. He knew we would err again and again and again; that’s how He made us. So it’s okay. Accept your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. He is the Most Merciful.”┆
╰› Haya– while one of my friends were reading this book a couple weeks ago, she said that the relationship between the main character and her best friend reminded her of me and my best friend a lot, and I honestly see it 🥹 A huge part of why I changed last year was because of her, just like Haya was for Zahra. I really do not think I’d be as close to my deen as I am now without her because it’s the conversations we had, the experiences we both went through that really opened my eyes. She encouraged me to grow and she pushed me to do my best, and our friendship was genuinely the last one I had expected. I had prayed and prayed for good friends, and she was the answer to my du’a. Alhamdulillah for her, no one has ever understood me the way she does.
I love Haya’s relationship with Zahra so much, I actually teared up at their conversation in the end. I feel like REAL female friendships aren’t portrayed well enough, and it’s such a beautiful thing when done right. Allah gave us sisterhood for a reason, and we truly underestimate it until we get a taste of it and lose it. I love how Haya was there for Zahra throughout the book, and it’s the way Haya LOVED. She loved for the sake of Allah, and that was evident. The friends that remind you of Allah are the friends who will lead you into Jannah. In every struggle, Allah was brought up, and that’s how it should be.
Haya as a person was just such a vibe, like she’s so bubbly and kind I want a friend like her so badly 🥹
And winkwink, Carlos 🤭 I WANT TO SEE THEM GET MARRIED SO BAD PLS.
Ahsen & Sadaf– We love ourselves a good older sibling 🥹 I love Sadaf for how close she was with Haya and how she stuck with her through everything- and Sadaf really reminds me of my sister. My sister has always been such a huge part of my life and without her love and care and all her advice, I don't know what I would have done. And I love Ahsen for his change and growth that happened after Zahra left- his reaction in the end broke my heart😭. Ahsen and Sadaf have love story potential, her beloved tortured tool 😊
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ quotes
┆ “My life had been so full, so why had I felt so empty in it?”┆
┆ “Life is messy. By trying to define myself, I was confining myself. Definitions created little boxes. You had to color in the lines. But life didn’t give you crayons to simply color within a set little rectangle on your sheet. Life gave you wondrous glitter and paint and charcoal to draw wherever the hell you wanted, to create your own picture of beauty.”┆
┆ “You had to love more than you hated, and even that was difficult.”┆
︵࣪ ˖ ໒꒱ overall
╰› I 100% recommend, but the book is REALLY heavy so I’d look at the trigger warnings and consider if it is something you can handle 💗
February 21, 2024
i wish younger me had this book because she would’ve felt so understood and seen. nevertheless, 24 year old me is so happy this book exists because it has healed a big part in me. i had to pace myself through reading it because almost ever single sentence got to me, every struggle and thought zahra had is something i’ve battled with and related to. this book is a must read for every single muslim brown girl, especially hijabi girls that live in a western country. even if you aren’t, i think reading this book would be a great way for you to understand muslim girls better. this is a beautiful, bittersweet, heartbreaking yet heartwarming reality that so many of us experience in some capacity. this is representation.
i can’t begin to describe what this book means to me, and how utterly thankful i am to aamna qureshi for writing her story and sharing it with us. she has become an inspiration to me, and a must-read, auto-buy author for sure.
i can’t begin to describe what this book means to me, and how utterly thankful i am to aamna qureshi for writing her story and sharing it with us. she has become an inspiration to me, and a must-read, auto-buy author for sure.
July 13, 2025
7/12/25: i think i connected with this book even more the second time around 💗
rtc
6/7/25: post-read: maysa thank you so much for making me read this it was one of the best things EVERRRRR
pre-read: the person I’m reading this for knows very well who she is ✨ I’m so excited but very VERY scaredddd 😭
rtc
6/7/25: post-read: maysa thank you so much for making me read this it was one of the best things EVERRRRR
pre-read: the person I’m reading this for knows very well who she is ✨ I’m so excited but very VERY scaredddd 😭
March 13, 2025
જ⁀➴ 5 stars !! ✰
⟢ ”Love was a choice. You had to keep choosing love. Over and over again, you had to choose to forgive and move forward and heal.”⋆.˚
this was my second time reading this book and let me just start off by saying it did not get any less beautiful!! i absolutely loved revisiting this world and seeing these characters again AHH this was such a fun reread. also, i wasn’t planning on writing a review so please ignore how messy and all over the place it is 😭
⟢ ⋆.˚ ꒰ plot ⊹
in short, when a brown girl flees follows zahra, a pakistani-american teenager who runs away from home to escape the overwhelming pressure of her parents’ expectations. however, this book was less about the running away and more about what she finds along the way— personal growth, unexpected relationships and a deeper connection to who she truly is.
⟢ ⋆.˚ ꒰ thoughts ⊹
where do i even start?? this book was relatable and comforting but SO heart-wrenching at the same time. it kind of felt like someone cutting me open and dragging out things i’ve spent so long burying. the depiction of zahra’s story and the emotional battles she fought were so painful and real to read about. the way that aamna qureshi approached the themes of islam, mental health, healing and friendships were so so powerful and i LOVED the messages she sent through the story. i related so much to zahra, even though our experiences are completely different. there is just something so comforting about how aamna wrote this and to be truthful, i don’t think any of my words could ever express how deeply i resonated with it. it’s times like these where i wish so desperately that i was better at writing reviews— so many thoughts but no idea how to put them into words 😞
⟢ “But what about the colour? The colour that Allah had put within me and my life. It had been there all along—I just hadn’t noticed it.” ⋆.˚
i really liked how the female friendships were conveyed in this book, it’s so rare to find such strong ones between women in books and i absolutely adored the bond between haya and zahra!! it honestly warmed my heart to watch them grow closer and i caught myself smiling at their scenes together so many times 😭.
⟢ ”This was the girl I wished I could be: gentle and kind and pure—radiating light.” ⋆.˚
i especially loved the parts in the book where zahra deepened her connection to islam and learned how to communicate with Allah swt and actually ask for help. it was so nice to see her progress from having the fixed mindset that her sins are unforgivable, to realising how merciful Allah is and to always seek guidance from Him. the way that haya encouraged her to open up to Allah and supported her through every step of the journey was so sweet omg she’s literally the kindest and most pure-intentioned character ever.
⟢ ”Zahra, love, if Allah created us perfect, we would have been angels,” she told me. “But He knew we would screw up. He knew we would err again and again and again; that’s how He made us. So it’s okay. Accept your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. He is the Most Merciful,” ⋆.˚
there wasn’t any romance in this book which i actually quite enjoyeddd. it was really refreshing in a sense because it allowed the focus to stay on zahra’s journey of finding herself and her identity. i feel like if romance had been included, it might’ve overshadowed the depth of her struggles and taken over the plot.
the brother-sister relationship between ahsen and zahra was also SO wholesome and i adoreddd it!! idk what it is about close relationships between siblings that i love so much like literally nothing can compare.
⟢ ”I remember too, Z. I remember.” ⋆.˚
there WERE certain aspects that i didn’t like or thought could’ve been done differently buttt i think that’s just me being picky!! this book is absolutely amazing; the writing is beautiful, the characters are complex and the plot overall was so well executed!! what more could you want from a book?
if u are planning on reading this, i will have to warn u that this book deals with heavy topics such as deep emotional struggles and self-harm. i’d recommend going in with caution if this is triggering for you 🫶
⟢ ⋆.˚ ꒰ quotes ⊹
“I was thinking—where is home for us? When we go to wherever is ‘back home,’ our families laugh at our accents and our adjustment to the mechanisms there, and when we are here, they tell us to go back to where we came from. I wonder if we’ll ever find the perfect balance between the two—if we’ll ever find home.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “You think, I want to love and be loved, and finally, I can, because I love myself and I love life and all that’s left, really, is somebody to share these moments with—somebody to crawl inside my mind, somebody to sleep inside my heart.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “So I kept myself at arm’s length from everyone, everything, because once I cared, I cared too much.
And that was too scary for me to bear.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “But most of all I thanked Him for this clarity within me, this appreciation and this sight that could cherish all the abundances my life was overflowing with.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “Life is messy. By trying to define myself, I was confining myself. Definitions created little boxes. You had to color in the lines. But life didn’t give you crayons to simply color within a set little rectangle on your sheet. Life gave you wondrous glitter and paint and charcoal to draw wherever the hell you wanted, to create your own picture of beauty.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “Humans were constantly evolving. Each bit of knowledge learned was like a brushstroke on the canvas of your existence. The more you learned, the more breathtaking the painting became. And if you learned nothing more, you remained incomplete.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “You had to love more than you hated, and even that was difficult.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “It made me so happy, in a way, to see him cry so easily. It meant that he cared. It meant that he felt. That he was alive.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “Haven’t I always told you I love you as the moon loves the stars?” ⋆.˚
⟢ “And I was done letting the light be drowned by the darkness.
I would love and love and love” ⋆.˚
(i definitely don’t have 60+ more underlined in my ebook…)
⟢ ”Love was a choice. You had to keep choosing love. Over and over again, you had to choose to forgive and move forward and heal.”⋆.˚
this was my second time reading this book and let me just start off by saying it did not get any less beautiful!! i absolutely loved revisiting this world and seeing these characters again AHH this was such a fun reread. also, i wasn’t planning on writing a review so please ignore how messy and all over the place it is 😭
⟢ ⋆.˚ ꒰ plot ⊹
in short, when a brown girl flees follows zahra, a pakistani-american teenager who runs away from home to escape the overwhelming pressure of her parents’ expectations. however, this book was less about the running away and more about what she finds along the way— personal growth, unexpected relationships and a deeper connection to who she truly is.
⟢ ⋆.˚ ꒰ thoughts ⊹
where do i even start?? this book was relatable and comforting but SO heart-wrenching at the same time. it kind of felt like someone cutting me open and dragging out things i’ve spent so long burying. the depiction of zahra’s story and the emotional battles she fought were so painful and real to read about. the way that aamna qureshi approached the themes of islam, mental health, healing and friendships were so so powerful and i LOVED the messages she sent through the story. i related so much to zahra, even though our experiences are completely different. there is just something so comforting about how aamna wrote this and to be truthful, i don’t think any of my words could ever express how deeply i resonated with it. it’s times like these where i wish so desperately that i was better at writing reviews— so many thoughts but no idea how to put them into words 😞
⟢ “But what about the colour? The colour that Allah had put within me and my life. It had been there all along—I just hadn’t noticed it.” ⋆.˚
i really liked how the female friendships were conveyed in this book, it’s so rare to find such strong ones between women in books and i absolutely adored the bond between haya and zahra!! it honestly warmed my heart to watch them grow closer and i caught myself smiling at their scenes together so many times 😭.
⟢ ”This was the girl I wished I could be: gentle and kind and pure—radiating light.” ⋆.˚
i especially loved the parts in the book where zahra deepened her connection to islam and learned how to communicate with Allah swt and actually ask for help. it was so nice to see her progress from having the fixed mindset that her sins are unforgivable, to realising how merciful Allah is and to always seek guidance from Him. the way that haya encouraged her to open up to Allah and supported her through every step of the journey was so sweet omg she’s literally the kindest and most pure-intentioned character ever.
⟢ ”Zahra, love, if Allah created us perfect, we would have been angels,” she told me. “But He knew we would screw up. He knew we would err again and again and again; that’s how He made us. So it’s okay. Accept your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. He is the Most Merciful,” ⋆.˚
there wasn’t any romance in this book which i actually quite enjoyeddd. it was really refreshing in a sense because it allowed the focus to stay on zahra’s journey of finding herself and her identity. i feel like if romance had been included, it might’ve overshadowed the depth of her struggles and taken over the plot.
the brother-sister relationship between ahsen and zahra was also SO wholesome and i adoreddd it!! idk what it is about close relationships between siblings that i love so much like literally nothing can compare.
⟢ ”I remember too, Z. I remember.” ⋆.˚
there WERE certain aspects that i didn’t like or thought could’ve been done differently buttt i think that’s just me being picky!! this book is absolutely amazing; the writing is beautiful, the characters are complex and the plot overall was so well executed!! what more could you want from a book?
if u are planning on reading this, i will have to warn u that this book deals with heavy topics such as deep emotional struggles and self-harm. i’d recommend going in with caution if this is triggering for you 🫶
⟢ ⋆.˚ ꒰ quotes ⊹
“I was thinking—where is home for us? When we go to wherever is ‘back home,’ our families laugh at our accents and our adjustment to the mechanisms there, and when we are here, they tell us to go back to where we came from. I wonder if we’ll ever find the perfect balance between the two—if we’ll ever find home.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “You think, I want to love and be loved, and finally, I can, because I love myself and I love life and all that’s left, really, is somebody to share these moments with—somebody to crawl inside my mind, somebody to sleep inside my heart.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “So I kept myself at arm’s length from everyone, everything, because once I cared, I cared too much.
And that was too scary for me to bear.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “But most of all I thanked Him for this clarity within me, this appreciation and this sight that could cherish all the abundances my life was overflowing with.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “Life is messy. By trying to define myself, I was confining myself. Definitions created little boxes. You had to color in the lines. But life didn’t give you crayons to simply color within a set little rectangle on your sheet. Life gave you wondrous glitter and paint and charcoal to draw wherever the hell you wanted, to create your own picture of beauty.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “Humans were constantly evolving. Each bit of knowledge learned was like a brushstroke on the canvas of your existence. The more you learned, the more breathtaking the painting became. And if you learned nothing more, you remained incomplete.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “You had to love more than you hated, and even that was difficult.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “It made me so happy, in a way, to see him cry so easily. It meant that he cared. It meant that he felt. That he was alive.” ⋆.˚
⟢ “Haven’t I always told you I love you as the moon loves the stars?” ⋆.˚
⟢ “And I was done letting the light be drowned by the darkness.
I would love and love and love” ⋆.˚
(i definitely don’t have 60+ more underlined in my ebook…)
March 30, 2024
4.5 ✰
Want to read
June 16, 202115.06.2021 betting on my tears this is going to be emotional; yes to muslim pakistani-american rep and yes, yes to running away from home and moving across the country, and so many more yeses to "navigating mental health and religious guilt" while renewing one's faith in family.
July 10, 2025
''But what about the color? The color that Allah had put within me and my life. It had been there all along-I just hadn't noticed it.''
brb while i go sob my heart out
brb while i go sob my heart out
September 7, 2023
(Digital ARC via Edelweiss)
WOW.
I read through this in, like, 3 hours and could not pull myself away.
Ngl - I was skeptical at first - and then found myself pulled in so deep that I couldn't stop.
Zahra has just graduated high school and given an ultimatum by her mother: become a doctor, or get married.
So she runs away from home.
Unable to run away from her darkest secret, Zahra must learn how to contend with her past, heal her present, and discover what she truly wants for her future.
Although this is marketed as YA, I'm more inclined to make it New Adult mostly bc of the really heavy themes - depression and self-harm, mostly. Also the f-bomb used way more than necessary imho (really, it didn't need to be used at all - and now I can't add it to the madrasah library, which is a bummer). A titch melodramatic and angsty but honestly, my inner teen girl was absolutely here for it.
While this book is mostly about healing from emotional wounds, it's also beautifully about the power of female friendships - and specifically, *Muslim women friendships* that bring one closer to Allah.
What makes this book shine is how powerful the Islamic themes are, of reconnecting with Allah on a deeply personal level and of tawbah (repentance).
There were definitely bits that felt a little rough and occasionally under-developed, but honestly, I was blown away by how beautiful and intense this story was. As a brown girl who still wrestles with her own demons - in many ways, this was truly cathartic.
I am 100% going to purchase a hardcopy of this book because I NEED it on my shelf! And you should too!
4.8/5 🌟
WOW.
I read through this in, like, 3 hours and could not pull myself away.
Ngl - I was skeptical at first - and then found myself pulled in so deep that I couldn't stop.
Zahra has just graduated high school and given an ultimatum by her mother: become a doctor, or get married.
So she runs away from home.
Unable to run away from her darkest secret, Zahra must learn how to contend with her past, heal her present, and discover what she truly wants for her future.
Although this is marketed as YA, I'm more inclined to make it New Adult mostly bc of the really heavy themes - depression and self-harm, mostly. Also the f-bomb used way more than necessary imho (really, it didn't need to be used at all - and now I can't add it to the madrasah library, which is a bummer). A titch melodramatic and angsty but honestly, my inner teen girl was absolutely here for it.
While this book is mostly about healing from emotional wounds, it's also beautifully about the power of female friendships - and specifically, *Muslim women friendships* that bring one closer to Allah.
What makes this book shine is how powerful the Islamic themes are, of reconnecting with Allah on a deeply personal level and of tawbah (repentance).
There were definitely bits that felt a little rough and occasionally under-developed, but honestly, I was blown away by how beautiful and intense this story was. As a brown girl who still wrestles with her own demons - in many ways, this was truly cathartic.
I am 100% going to purchase a hardcopy of this book because I NEED it on my shelf! And you should too!
4.8/5 🌟
August 22, 2024
I didn't rlly have any expectations when I started reading this, I got it to read on a flight but mannn this was actually so good!!
My absolute favorite parts:
- it talked about the Deen and how you can always be forgiven. Sometimes we sink so deep into this chasm of self hate about the past or sins and we forget that we can always turn to Allah سبحانه و تعالى.
- It had a focus on friendships between girls and how having a good support system while healing is so essential. Zahra and Haya had such a beautiful friendship! Ily to all my girl friends out there- you guys are my rock and I appreciate u more than u know <3.
-I had tears streaming down my face guys! Aamna Qureshi really wrote such a beautiful and emotional book, I hope I have that talent one day.
-None of the characters were one dimensional! Every single one were complex and had their own stories.
Not so good parts
- There was some really big time jumps!
- The lying ughhh like ofc I understand but I feel PAIN when reading lies on top of lies I can't deal!
- this is gonna sound really dumb but it was so depressing at times!! Ik why and I understand but I can't enjoy it.
If your a teenage muslim girl, read this!! It deals with some really heavy topics but in such an empowering and good way. I've never read a book like this before, but I'm so glad I did!
My absolute favorite parts:
- it talked about the Deen and how you can always be forgiven. Sometimes we sink so deep into this chasm of self hate about the past or sins and we forget that we can always turn to Allah سبحانه و تعالى.
- It had a focus on friendships between girls and how having a good support system while healing is so essential. Zahra and Haya had such a beautiful friendship! Ily to all my girl friends out there- you guys are my rock and I appreciate u more than u know <3.
-I had tears streaming down my face guys! Aamna Qureshi really wrote such a beautiful and emotional book, I hope I have that talent one day.
-None of the characters were one dimensional! Every single one were complex and had their own stories.
Not so good parts
- There was some really big time jumps!
- The lying ughhh like ofc I understand but I feel PAIN when reading lies on top of lies I can't deal!
- this is gonna sound really dumb but it was so depressing at times!! Ik why and I understand but I can't enjoy it.
If your a teenage muslim girl, read this!! It deals with some really heavy topics but in such an empowering and good way. I've never read a book like this before, but I'm so glad I did!
March 25, 2025
read on:
(16.03.25.)
pre-review:
i cried, guys. i cried. rtc (4.5 stars)
꒰🛫꒱ when a brown girl flees by aamna qureshi
pre-review:
i cried, guys. i cried. rtc (4.5 stars)
August 1, 2023
2023 reads: 237/350
i received a digital review copy from the publisher via edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.
content warnings (provided on-page by author): depression, anxiety, emotional and physical abuse, self harm, suicidal ideation, slut shaming, PTSD
a few months ago, zahra made a big mistake, one that left a strain on her already imperfect relationship with her mother. now, as she runs away from home, from the impossible choice she couldn’t make, she can’t be sure whether she’s making another big mistake or taking a step forward. she finds herself in new york, thousands of miles away from her home in california, taking a journey of self-discovery.
aamna qureshi’s the marghazar trials duology were two of my favorite books of last year, so despite this book having a very different premise, i was so excited to read another book by this author. aamna has such a beautiful writing style that clearly transcends genres and there were so many lines that stuck out to me while reading and will continue to stay with me after.
the depiction of zahra’s mental health is something i would like to highlight in this review. zahra has anxiety and depression, both of which i also have. as the content warnings state, this does manifest itself, in part, through self-harm. specifically, zahra digs her fingernails into her skin to the point of drawing blood. in my opinion and from my own experience, i believe that zahra’s mental illnesses were handled with grace while still being realistic and representative of many people’s real life experiences. i appreciated how this was depicted throughout the book and how it played into zahra’s journey.
another aspect i enjoyed was the role female friendship played. soon after zahra lands in new york, she goes to a mosque, where she meets other muslim girls, including haya, who becomes her best friend. their friendship meant so much to me. haya quickly took zahra under her wing and cared for her without judgment. haya also has a sister, sadaf, and their dynamic always made me smile. though the sisters annoyed each other a lot, they clearly loved each other.
i highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys contemporary YA novels.
i received a digital review copy from the publisher via edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.
content warnings (provided on-page by author): depression, anxiety, emotional and physical abuse, self harm, suicidal ideation, slut shaming, PTSD
a few months ago, zahra made a big mistake, one that left a strain on her already imperfect relationship with her mother. now, as she runs away from home, from the impossible choice she couldn’t make, she can’t be sure whether she’s making another big mistake or taking a step forward. she finds herself in new york, thousands of miles away from her home in california, taking a journey of self-discovery.
aamna qureshi’s the marghazar trials duology were two of my favorite books of last year, so despite this book having a very different premise, i was so excited to read another book by this author. aamna has such a beautiful writing style that clearly transcends genres and there were so many lines that stuck out to me while reading and will continue to stay with me after.
the depiction of zahra’s mental health is something i would like to highlight in this review. zahra has anxiety and depression, both of which i also have. as the content warnings state, this does manifest itself, in part, through self-harm. specifically, zahra digs her fingernails into her skin to the point of drawing blood. in my opinion and from my own experience, i believe that zahra’s mental illnesses were handled with grace while still being realistic and representative of many people’s real life experiences. i appreciated how this was depicted throughout the book and how it played into zahra’s journey.
another aspect i enjoyed was the role female friendship played. soon after zahra lands in new york, she goes to a mosque, where she meets other muslim girls, including haya, who becomes her best friend. their friendship meant so much to me. haya quickly took zahra under her wing and cared for her without judgment. haya also has a sister, sadaf, and their dynamic always made me smile. though the sisters annoyed each other a lot, they clearly loved each other.
i highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys contemporary YA novels.
May 27, 2022
i'm devouring each book in the aamna qureshi desi girl cinematic universe, AND I LOVE IT. this books was so good i had tears streaming down my face. i repeat once again— aamna's writing breaks me and mends me 🥹😭
March 12, 2025
this made me want to throw myself off a bridge (in a good way)
it was amazing, but didn't give 5 star vibes to me
anyway, everyone should read this
it was amazing, but didn't give 5 star vibes to me
anyway, everyone should read this
October 10, 2025
Great to see a YA book about mental health with muslim representation!! (Part of the mental health issues are due to cultural expectations so if that is a trigger for you, you might want to be careful).
I do really really hope my children will know how loved they are and that never need to run away to stop being unhappy, like they feel they can tell me anything. InshaAllah.
I do really really hope my children will know how loved they are and that never need to run away to stop being unhappy, like they feel they can tell me anything. InshaAllah.
June 7, 2023
This book was so real and painful to read. Cannot write a proper review for Reasons, but I loved it, especially the parts that focused on Zahra reconnecting with her faith and with Allah, really speaking to him, and asking for forgiveness, and realizing that Allah is always there for her and will accept her with open arms and mercy. I almost cried so many times. The ending though, had me feeling mixed emotions because it felt like the author fell into the whole "we need a happy ending" trope, so it didn't feel realistic or in line with what we knew about the characters. While I'm all for happy or "happier" endings, I wish it could have shown the reality of what this would be like, instead of blaming it on miscommunication. While there was definitely miscommunication, I don't think it's the main reason behind what pushed Zahra to make this decision in the first place.
I am excited for Aamna's next book that follows a certain side character from this book! The Pakistani muslim rep was overall done pretty well and I loved the little snippets of halal romance we got, so I'm excited to see more.
I am excited for Aamna's next book that follows a certain side character from this book! The Pakistani muslim rep was overall done pretty well and I loved the little snippets of halal romance we got, so I'm excited to see more.
May 29, 2023
“I was unapologetically me. ”
Rating: 5/5 stars
★★★★★
hello?? where do I even start? this book broke me into a million pieces and proceeded to heal me in the best way possible. im the kind of person who's usually wary of happily ever afters and endings where things are magically resolved and im more of a fantasy person but aamna really blew me away with this book! the brown girl in me is sobbing, crying, laughing—and the best of all, she's hopeful! and that's from a person who's allergic of emotions. i swear i'll be back with a coherent review once i collect my thoughts but I CAN'T EMPHASIZE ENOUGH, YOU NEED THIS!!!
that was quite unprofessional but trust me, this will change your life.
pre-read:
23.03.23 the COVER !!!
July 29, 2025
this was beautiful.
September 14, 2023
While this book was short, it was also a very emotional ride for me. I was nearly at the brink of tears every time Zahra experienced something terrible.
Zahra, our main character used to be a perfect child of the family but her relationship with them got so strained due to some reasons and that’s why she ran away from her home in California to New York City. In NYC, alone by herself she encounters some new people in a mosque. These girls help here in sorting out her emotional problems and leads her towards the healing path.
I love the idea behind the book. The representation of a typical American-Pakistani girl is great. The emotional tragedy of Zahra is also depicted in a wonderful way. Zahra suffers from depression and anxiety and I think Aamna did a great job in showing how she experiences these anxiety episodes and also her self healing process.
Apart from the main characters, the sisters Haya & Sadaf Chaudhary are so caring towards Zahra. Both sisters are so understanding about Zahra’s situation. I loved that part where Zahra discloses everything with Haya. Uff that scene was so heartbreaking and heart-warming.
The plot is engaging and there wasn’t a time I was bored or skipping through the pages.
This title will be out on September 19. I’m sure you’ll also enjoy this if you love Muslim fiction and cultural representations.
4.5/5 ⭐
Zahra, our main character used to be a perfect child of the family but her relationship with them got so strained due to some reasons and that’s why she ran away from her home in California to New York City. In NYC, alone by herself she encounters some new people in a mosque. These girls help here in sorting out her emotional problems and leads her towards the healing path.
I love the idea behind the book. The representation of a typical American-Pakistani girl is great. The emotional tragedy of Zahra is also depicted in a wonderful way. Zahra suffers from depression and anxiety and I think Aamna did a great job in showing how she experiences these anxiety episodes and also her self healing process.
Apart from the main characters, the sisters Haya & Sadaf Chaudhary are so caring towards Zahra. Both sisters are so understanding about Zahra’s situation. I loved that part where Zahra discloses everything with Haya. Uff that scene was so heartbreaking and heart-warming.
The plot is engaging and there wasn’t a time I was bored or skipping through the pages.
This title will be out on September 19. I’m sure you’ll also enjoy this if you love Muslim fiction and cultural representations.
4.5/5 ⭐
June 10, 2023
This book was great.This book has some heavy and triggering topics in it, so you may want to check out trigger warnings before you read, but if you can, this is a must-read! Honestly, there is so much themes of importance in this book that I am not sure I can express, so pick up this book and find out for yourself.
ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 12, 2025
Unpopular opinion but didn't like it. No, that's not what happens when a brown girl flees, that happens when a Brown girl grown up in the West flees. From the West - To the West. Again, written to cater to their audience not desis. They've shown the same portrayal that west keeps blabbering, that our families are oppressive, we don't value girls equally etc etc Khair.
July 6, 2025
I don’t usually write reviews but this book was perfection. It resonated deeply with me and made me feel a roller coaster of emotions. I cried for hours while reading this book. I related with Zahra on every aspect. Although I didn’t run away, our journeys are very similar. I can’t wait to reach the ending of my journey like she did. I hope to seek forgiveness and become the better version of myself. Her accomplishments and success made me realize that with everything I’ve done and everything I’ve been through, I can achieve what she achieved. I can live my life to its fullest. I’m so glad I was introduced to this book. This is absolutely my new favorite and I don’t know if anything could replace it. I thank Allah SWT for sending this book my way ❤️❤️❤️
(i read it all in one sitting)
(i read it all in one sitting)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 25, 2023
3.5 ⭐️
does the whole teenage angst/depression thing really well and covers some seriously under discussed topics. Some parts of the prose were poetic and striking, which I really appreciated. That being said, the dialogue and flow of narrative felt a little choppy and juvenile in a teenage-wattpad-author type of way, which I understand was sort of when this novel was first written. I feel like we could have workshopped that a little more. This seems to be a running theme with contemporary books by Muslim authors, perhaps this needs to be investigated.
does the whole teenage angst/depression thing really well and covers some seriously under discussed topics. Some parts of the prose were poetic and striking, which I really appreciated. That being said, the dialogue and flow of narrative felt a little choppy and juvenile in a teenage-wattpad-author type of way, which I understand was sort of when this novel was first written. I feel like we could have workshopped that a little more. This seems to be a running theme with contemporary books by Muslim authors, perhaps this needs to be investigated.
May 19, 2024
This. Book.
Oh my lord!!
I have no words to describe what this book made me feel.
Like
Ahhh
I felt seen
I felt heard
I felt loved
I felt happy
I felt not alone
I felt validated for my struggles
I felt everything
Seriously everyone must read this atleast once cuz ahhh🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻
I had no hesitation when I give 5 stars cuz it deserves 5 stars and tbh more!!!!😭✨
Oh my lord!!
I have no words to describe what this book made me feel.
Like
Ahhh
I felt seen
I felt heard
I felt loved
I felt happy
I felt not alone
I felt validated for my struggles
I felt everything
Seriously everyone must read this atleast once cuz ahhh🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻
I had no hesitation when I give 5 stars cuz it deserves 5 stars and tbh more!!!!😭✨
September 19, 2023
There is so much to admire about this book beginning with the stunning cover. This is an emotive and memorable story.
To avoid spoilers, I’ll say generally that this is an unexpected story. The themes of faith and friendship woven throughout drew me in. It’s the kind of read that lingers with the reader. It prompts reflection and provokes lots of feelings.
I recommend folks request this read and add it to their TBR.
Thanks to the publisher & author for my gifted advance copy. My recommendation is earnest.
To avoid spoilers, I’ll say generally that this is an unexpected story. The themes of faith and friendship woven throughout drew me in. It’s the kind of read that lingers with the reader. It prompts reflection and provokes lots of feelings.
I recommend folks request this read and add it to their TBR.
Thanks to the publisher & author for my gifted advance copy. My recommendation is earnest.
May 16, 2024
Check TWs!
'When a Brown Girl Flees' by Aamna Qureshi is a YA Contemporary about a brown girl who runs away from home as an escape from making a crucial decision about her future. We follow Zahra Paracha, a young girl right out of high school, who ditches going home one day and books a one-way flight ticket from California to New York because she has been given two options by her family: either get into an arranged marriage or pursue studying medicine to become a doctor - neither of which she wants to do.
My favorite thing about this book was how much heart it had. It touched upon a lot of sensitive topics and the author handled them with so much care. I love coming-of-age stories with the characters on a journey of figuring out what they want from life and who they truly are. I love how faith plays a role in this story majorly, and I love how it shows how tricky it can be to believe in the goodness of both one and the world sometimes. The path Zahra takes to reconnect with her religion, and how it grounds her and becomes her tether to come back to at the very end - it was done beautifully. Another ray of hope despite so much of the book being shrouded in the MC's sadness and problems, roots itself into love and the sense of community. Though it might be idealistic, I adored how Zahra found good people and girls she could call best friends and trust wholeheartedly, because that is what she deserved. I loved the journey she went on to realize she didn't have to uphold this definition of perfection. How she viewed her family differently upon spending time with herself and understanding that they are, after all, humans who made mistakes. And yes, I teared up when Zahra and her mother talked after reuniting. I loved the bits with Ahsen, and I wish we had gotten more information on how things started getting better for him, since he seemed like a completely new person in the six months Zahra was gone, but it was brushed off.
While my love for the story runs deep, there's some issues I found that hindered my reading a lot. Firstly, there's too much telling, not showing, especially around the halfway mark - when we're still getting accustomed to all these new people Zahra is making friends with. Because such little is actually being shown to us, it takes a lot from the flow and engagement. Reading felt like a drag during those times. The writing also tends to get repetitive, at least in its monologues. The pacing was also an issue. The last third of the book was my favourite, but it felt like it should've happened earlier, and because of that the middle of the book felt slow and uneventful. Having said all that though, this was an important book for me to read and I'm grateful it exists. Zahra and her struggles resonated with me, and I'm sure a plethora of other brown girls will feel the same through the voice of this book.
Thank you, Edelweiss & Tu Books, for the arc!
Book comes out Sept 19/23!!!!
'When a Brown Girl Flees' by Aamna Qureshi is a YA Contemporary about a brown girl who runs away from home as an escape from making a crucial decision about her future. We follow Zahra Paracha, a young girl right out of high school, who ditches going home one day and books a one-way flight ticket from California to New York because she has been given two options by her family: either get into an arranged marriage or pursue studying medicine to become a doctor - neither of which she wants to do.
My favorite thing about this book was how much heart it had. It touched upon a lot of sensitive topics and the author handled them with so much care. I love coming-of-age stories with the characters on a journey of figuring out what they want from life and who they truly are. I love how faith plays a role in this story majorly, and I love how it shows how tricky it can be to believe in the goodness of both one and the world sometimes. The path Zahra takes to reconnect with her religion, and how it grounds her and becomes her tether to come back to at the very end - it was done beautifully. Another ray of hope despite so much of the book being shrouded in the MC's sadness and problems, roots itself into love and the sense of community. Though it might be idealistic, I adored how Zahra found good people and girls she could call best friends and trust wholeheartedly, because that is what she deserved. I loved the journey she went on to realize she didn't have to uphold this definition of perfection. How she viewed her family differently upon spending time with herself and understanding that they are, after all, humans who made mistakes. And yes, I teared up when Zahra and her mother talked after reuniting. I loved the bits with Ahsen, and I wish we had gotten more information on how things started getting better for him, since he seemed like a completely new person in the six months Zahra was gone, but it was brushed off.
While my love for the story runs deep, there's some issues I found that hindered my reading a lot. Firstly, there's too much telling, not showing, especially around the halfway mark - when we're still getting accustomed to all these new people Zahra is making friends with. Because such little is actually being shown to us, it takes a lot from the flow and engagement. Reading felt like a drag during those times. The writing also tends to get repetitive, at least in its monologues. The pacing was also an issue. The last third of the book was my favourite, but it felt like it should've happened earlier, and because of that the middle of the book felt slow and uneventful. Having said all that though, this was an important book for me to read and I'm grateful it exists. Zahra and her struggles resonated with me, and I'm sure a plethora of other brown girls will feel the same through the voice of this book.
Thank you, Edelweiss & Tu Books, for the arc!
Book comes out Sept 19/23!!!!
June 15, 2021
ILL READ ANYTHING AAMNA WRITES !!!! So excited for her contemporary with hijabi MC 😍😍
September 28, 2024
Okay this book genuinely had good potential, but poor execution…
Which is SUCH a pity because there’s already such little positive representation of Muslim hijabi brown girls and I was so looking forward to the representation of the culture and experiences faced in the community
Firstly the writing style was so off? Like it had such a juvenile tone and was cringey a lot of the times. Though I get that this is YA and sometimes a lot of teen fiction has cringey writing and dialogue, so perhaps this part is just a personal preference. But also the writing style was not nuanced or layered at all and barely had any depth. It was constantly in-your-face and info-dumpish and preachy. I honestly would love good inclusion of Islamic references in Muslim fiction, but only when it’s done right and weaved naturally and seamlessly into the novel without feeling overbearing or overly-in-your-face. With all this, at first I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was putting me off overall the writing style: the main problem is that this is definitely telling not showing. A well-written novel would emphasise on show not tell.
Also plot-wise I personally found this incredibly basic. Like this plot line is so overused and it’s in like every other Muslim “coming-of-age” fiction and I’m sick of it. It’s always Muslim hijabi has haram past takes off her hijab for a boy then regrets it. I’m not saying that some Muslim girls don’t go through that and they def should not be invalidated, but what I’m saying is that: is this the only ‘Muslim’ story that Muslim writers have to offer? Not every girl has a ‘phase’ of taking off their hijab and clubbing and all that. Why don’t we write about something different for once?
A little more diversity in writing novels about Muslim experiences would be much more appreciated pls and thank you 🫶🏼
On a plus note the book referenced the film Love, Rosie which is genuinely one of the cutest romantic comedy films after Jab We Met ofc ok so everyone go watch it rn
Which is SUCH a pity because there’s already such little positive representation of Muslim hijabi brown girls and I was so looking forward to the representation of the culture and experiences faced in the community
Firstly the writing style was so off? Like it had such a juvenile tone and was cringey a lot of the times. Though I get that this is YA and sometimes a lot of teen fiction has cringey writing and dialogue, so perhaps this part is just a personal preference. But also the writing style was not nuanced or layered at all and barely had any depth. It was constantly in-your-face and info-dumpish and preachy. I honestly would love good inclusion of Islamic references in Muslim fiction, but only when it’s done right and weaved naturally and seamlessly into the novel without feeling overbearing or overly-in-your-face. With all this, at first I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was putting me off overall the writing style: the main problem is that this is definitely telling not showing. A well-written novel would emphasise on show not tell.
Also plot-wise I personally found this incredibly basic. Like this plot line is so overused and it’s in like every other Muslim “coming-of-age” fiction and I’m sick of it. It’s always Muslim hijabi has haram past takes off her hijab for a boy then regrets it. I’m not saying that some Muslim girls don’t go through that and they def should not be invalidated, but what I’m saying is that: is this the only ‘Muslim’ story that Muslim writers have to offer? Not every girl has a ‘phase’ of taking off their hijab and clubbing and all that. Why don’t we write about something different for once?
A little more diversity in writing novels about Muslim experiences would be much more appreciated pls and thank you 🫶🏼
On a plus note the book referenced the film Love, Rosie which is genuinely one of the cutest romantic comedy films after Jab We Met ofc ok so everyone go watch it rn
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June 20, 2024
For now, I'll give this 3.5 stars. I went in wanting to absolutely love it, but I just liked it. A reread is definitely in order. Hopefully, I appreciate it more.
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