Thank you NetGalley, Flux, and Lindsay Zrull for providing this e-ARC for an exchange of honest review!
For some reason, I rated this book 4.5/5, but I decide I will round it up to 5, since I love this book so much.
The story is about a foster girl named Jess, who have been bounce between foster homes since a very young age because of her mother suffered from schizophrenia. Jess's goth style was popular on Insta, she has many followers there who praised her for her makeup and style. But it also make people bullied her IRL. And one day, it attracts two people to come to her. One is her new-school-mate: a geek boy named Oscar and, suprisingly, the other one is her biological mother, who suddenly appear on her Instagram comment section. All of it was new to Jess. She was never had a (proper) friend, and when Oscar propose her to join his team for a cosplay competition, the reason why she accepted it was she knew if Oscar's team won the competition, they'll go to NYC, where she can meet her biomom.
I have no expectation for this book, except how beautiful and exciting the cover is. Turns out i really love this book, and here's reasons why you should read this once it's published:
1. The representation of foster kids. I love how Lindsay wrote about Jess's feelings about being a foster kids. It's so realistic (and then i knew that Lindsay Zrull was once a foster teen herself). Jess's point of view was kinda cynical and sour, and she's clearly have a major trust issue toward foster families (and life, basically), but judging from her past, i think it's reasonable and it makes me want to hug her :( I just wished there are more Jess's past life that described in the story, because i think it will more elaborate her complicated nature.
2. The mental illnesses discussion: anxiety disorder and schizophrenia. I love how real and close it is to me. My best friend was suffered from anxiety disorder, so when Oscar tells Jess how is it like to live a life every day with anxiety burdened on his chest, i can't help myself from tear up. I love the portrayal of Jess as a kid who affected by her mentally-unstable mother. Although it hurts her many times, but deep down she still loves her so much, and she knows that it's not her mother faults she got the illness and have to leave her to the foster system, in order to protect Jess from herself. And also how Lindsay depict these illnesses, and repeatedly saying that is not a shame to have it, is so encouraging and heartwarming. I also like how Lindsay inserts Jess' opinion about mental illness in horror films. Because, as someone who doesn't like horror films, I feel enlightened by that knowledge.
3. The characters! Since i think this is a character-driven story, I love how well-written they are, how realistic and lovable they are all. Even Naomi, who only appears briefly! I bet you'll also love Emily, who's funny and charismatic. Gerrit, who sticks to his games, and Oscar, the nerdy, kind, and awkward Oscar! And Jess's foster mom, Barbra, who i love the most from all of the characters here. And also Cici, Gerrit's mother who gives big-aunty-energy. I LOVE their relationship, I love their chemistry. I love how they're all so care to Jess and to each other. I also love the diversity! Lindsay wrote about plus-size people and POC who often mocked especially in cosplay world, and she wrote about a community who are on mission to encourage them to keep working on their creative costumes and makeup. I love the genuine concern from the author and I love how she depicts that so good.
P.S. I have a LOT to say about Barbra, so I think i'll talk further about her in the next point.
4. THE NERDY CULTURE<3 As a nerd myself i love to read how excited the team to join the cosplay expo and to become one of them. There are many references from popular stories, such as Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Star Wars, etc.
5. BARBRA. I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! The only thing that keeping me from choosing Jess as my favorite character of this book is because her attitude towards Barbra (although I stated in the first point that she has her own reason). BUT Barbra is the most loving, caring (foster) mother that even I want to have her in my life (like, as an aunty). I love how she encourages every good thing that Jess did. I love how she back her up anytime no matter the circumstances. I love how she's so patient and quirky and thoughtful!!!
So, overall, this book is a really good story, a thought-provoking and heartwarming one. The writing is good but it's kinda feels like this is more a middle grade book than a young adult one, but it's okay i think, i still enjoy the story!