Through the Lens of Ourselves: Adoptees, Adoptive Families, and Birth Families: Our Collective Adoption Stories

by Suni Miller Zmich

Adoption is an amalgam of grace, fear, joy, anger, and love, which pushes us to know WHY we exist.Through the Lens of Ourselves captures 34 stories of the adoption adoptee, adoptive parent, and birth parent. This collection portrays the life-long effects as biology and circumstance collide – the craving for identity, the yearning for normalcy, and the grieving over that which was lost. Fewer than 5% of Americans are adopted, yet nearly all Americans know someone touched by adoption. By illustrating the primal nature of human relationships, these poignant narratives draw in adoption community members as well as those who do not have a direct connection to adoption.

Genres: Adoption, Nonfiction

374 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 30, 2021

Reviews

[Victoria A Jacobson]

As someone directly touched by adoption these stories brought a glimpse into how adoption affects the lives of more than just the adoptee. Suni Miller presented a glimpse into the impact adoption brought to each person’s life, all with some pain, some with joy, some with continued sorrow. I very much appreciate her own vulnerability as she made her own journey through the lenses of the stories. I hope this book finds it way into the bookshelf of anyone who is directly or indirectly impacted by adoption. Quoting Suni Miller “Unacknowledged pain has power. By acknowledging our past, it will no longer have control over us.” Thank you Suni Miller for writing this sensitive book.

[Patti]

Suni Miller Zmich is an adoptee herself who had questions about her origins that couldn’t be answered. Like many of us who are adopted, there was a burning desire to know her origins, but not much to go on since it was an international adoption from Korea. This motivated her to write a book from the various perspectives of those touched by adoption. The adoptees are categorized as either domestic adoptions or international adoptions, and there are also conversations with adoptive parents and birth parents.

The conversations are very interesting. There are adoptees who always felt that something was missing from their lives and had a burning desire to fill in the hole inside of them. Others didn’t seem to think much about it; it was just a part of who they were. In one case, a man was adopted from Greece and never really searched. It was his birth family who found him. Even then, he was happy to have learned so much about where he came from, even though it wasn’t a key factor in his life before then.

In many of the other cases, though, adoptees experience identity issues, even when raised in loving homes. That resonated with me. I identified with many different stories told in this book. Unfortunately, when I was growing up, it was thought that children were a blank slate that could be raised to fit into the family with no issues. This didn’t prepare me, or my parents, for what lay ahead, no matter how much I was loved. Some of the stories here are reminiscent of that philosophy.

To read my full review, please go to Through the Lens of Ourselves by Suni Miller Zmich – Adoption Perspectives from Those Who Live Them

[R J Mckay]

I received a copy of this book from Goodreads in exchange for a review.

Adoption is an emotional journey. As an adoptee, I know this. I consider myself lucky to have been placed in a wonderful and loving home. I've also had the chance to meet some of my biological siblings. In talking to them and hearing their slant on my adoption, I have realized just how many people are touched when an infant or child is placed for adoption.

I was interested to see the process from many different perspectives. It's eye opening and touching. I have so much love for those who place their child up form adoption as well as those who welcome that child into their home with loving arms.

I'm glad Ms Zmich took the time to share adoption stories from all points of view.

[Kelly]

As an adoptee, I look for books like this one. I really liked how this one was broken up into groups, not just focusing on one group, and the stories really portrayed how adoption is different for everyone. A great read for getting a glimpse into what it’s like living adoption.
I received a copy from the author through Goodreads.

[Hazel]

A book about adoption and the ways it affects the
Adopted and others. As a OB nurse I have seen many adoptions and the experiences they go through in life the good the bad. This book explains it very well. I recommend
This book for everyone. I received this book free from Goodreads

[patricia sendelbach]

Revealing look at adopted children throughout their lives, their birth and adopted families. Engaging examination of issues specific to adopted people throughout their lives.