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First published March 14, 2011

Not only am I a liar . . .
I’m selfish.
Selfish enough to want it all.
And I know if I don’t have you . . .
I don’t have anything.
and I’m not going to give up . . .
until I can prove to you . . .
that you are the only thing that matters.
So keep sending me away . . .
but I’ll just keep coming back to you.
"I could get in so much trouble,” I practically mouth. He grins easily—that signature, lop-sided, Parker smile, and I melt. “I won’t get you in trouble,” he promises. “Cross my heart.” He draws an X across his chest with his finger."

The entire world goes weightless, his arms wrapping protectively around me as I face this irrational and crazed longing to keep him close to me forever. Because there is no one else. There is nothing. There is no Harvard. No Blake. No Ethan or Mattie or parents. There’s only Parker . . . and me. A wave of satisfaction washes over me. And suddenly my world is dizzy with promise, with the only dream that matters: us.

"That whole thing about timing? You were right: there is no such thing as perfect timing. And this is the worst timing ever, actually, because you’re going to go on, you’re going to graduate and leave. And that’s fine, but I’m telling you, right now, at this moment, I think . . . I think I love you.” My voice breaks, cracking as I say the words. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved . . . anything. And you have been on my mind for weeks. And being late that day—you being my partner —is the best thing that ever happened to me. And forgive me if I thought that maybe you felt the same way...

"I trace an invisible X across my chest, crossing my heart. He eyes me carefully for a moment, his expression softening—hurt registering in his features. And so I wait, silent, as he climbs down that huge, black oak tree, then watch as he hurries away,disappearing into the smoky fog.
, but somehow it actually works.
"Maybe. But you know, when you love someone you love them. And every day you sit back pretending that you don't is one less day you have with him."