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Breathe and Count Back from Ten
In this gorgeously written and authentic novel, Verónica, a Peruvian-American teen with hip dysplasia, auditions to become a mermaid at a Central Florida theme park in the summer before her senior year, all while figuring out her first real boyfriend and how to feel safe in her own body.
Verónica has had many surgeries to manage her disability. The best form of rehabilitation is swimming, so she spends hours in the pool, but not just to strengthen her body.
Her Florida town is home to Mermaid Cove, a kitschy underwater attraction where professional mermaids perform in giant tanks . . . and Verónica wants to audition. But her conservative Peruvian parents would never go for it. And they definitely would never let her be with Alex, her cute new neighbor.
She decides it’s time to seize control of her life, but her plans come crashing down when she learns her parents have been hiding the truth from her—the truth about her own body.
Verónica has had many surgeries to manage her disability. The best form of rehabilitation is swimming, so she spends hours in the pool, but not just to strengthen her body.
Her Florida town is home to Mermaid Cove, a kitschy underwater attraction where professional mermaids perform in giant tanks . . . and Verónica wants to audition. But her conservative Peruvian parents would never go for it. And they definitely would never let her be with Alex, her cute new neighbor.
She decides it’s time to seize control of her life, but her plans come crashing down when she learns her parents have been hiding the truth from her—the truth about her own body.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published May 10, 2022
185 people are currently reading
9927 people want to read
About the author
Natalia Sylvester
11 books71.2k followersNatalia Sylvester is the Pura Belpré- and Schneider Family-honor winning author of the young adult novel BREATHE AND COUNT BACK FROM TEN, and the award-winning author of the young adult novel RUNNING and the adult novels EVERYONE KNOWS YOU GO HOME and CHASING THE SUN. Her first picture book, A MALETA FULL OF TREASURES, illustrated by Juana Medina, is out now from Penguin Random House. Her debut middle grade novel, NO WAY NEVER SISTERS, co-written with Chantel Acevedo, is forthcoming in March 2026 from Simon & Schuster.
Natalia's non-fiction has appeared in the New York Times, Bustle, Catapult, Electric Literature, Latina magazine, and McSweeney's Publishing. Her essays have been anthologized in collections such as A MAP IS ONLY ONE STORY and A MEASURE OF BELONGING: WRITERS OF COLOR ON THE NEW AMERICAN SOUTH.
Born in Lima, Peru, Natalia came to the US at age four and grew up in Florida and the Rio Grande Valley in Texas. She received a BA in Creative Writing from the University of Miami, was a 2021 Visiting Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and was formerly a faculty member at the Mile-High MFA program at Regis University. She now lives in South Florida.
Natalia's non-fiction has appeared in the New York Times, Bustle, Catapult, Electric Literature, Latina magazine, and McSweeney's Publishing. Her essays have been anthologized in collections such as A MAP IS ONLY ONE STORY and A MEASURE OF BELONGING: WRITERS OF COLOR ON THE NEW AMERICAN SOUTH.
Born in Lima, Peru, Natalia came to the US at age four and grew up in Florida and the Rio Grande Valley in Texas. She received a BA in Creative Writing from the University of Miami, was a 2021 Visiting Associate Professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and was formerly a faculty member at the Mile-High MFA program at Regis University. She now lives in South Florida.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 891 reviews
July 31, 2023
Idealna książka na lato, chociaż nie taka lekka.
Gardzę rodzicami głównej bohaterki
Gardzę rodzicami głównej bohaterki
July 28, 2023
I used to hide my scars & now they're on my book cover. I'm so happy. BREATHE AND COUNT BACK FROM TEN is now available where ever books are sold.
It's the story of Vero, a Peruvian American teen with hip dysplasia who auditions to become a mermaid at a Central Florida theme park, all while navigating first love and learning to feel safe in her own body. It’s a fun summer read that unapologetically explores themes of immigration, disability justice, coming of age into your sexuality, & bodily agency.
Please add it to your TBR & share!
You can also order from your favorite indie & request it at your local library :) if you'd like a signed copy, Books & Books in Coral Gables, FL and Bookpeople in Austin, TX have signed stock!
https://bookshop.org/books/breathe-an...
https://www.amazon.com/Breathe-Count-...
It's the story of Vero, a Peruvian American teen with hip dysplasia who auditions to become a mermaid at a Central Florida theme park, all while navigating first love and learning to feel safe in her own body. It’s a fun summer read that unapologetically explores themes of immigration, disability justice, coming of age into your sexuality, & bodily agency.
Please add it to your TBR & share!
You can also order from your favorite indie & request it at your local library :) if you'd like a signed copy, Books & Books in Coral Gables, FL and Bookpeople in Austin, TX have signed stock!
https://bookshop.org/books/breathe-an...
https://www.amazon.com/Breathe-Count-...
July 19, 2023
Reprezentacja osoby z niepełnosprawnością, nadopiekuńczy rodzice i potrzeba zadowalania wszystkich wokół — aaaand im crying.
dnf
October 15, 2024Z serca bólem, nie mogłam się wciągnąć
DNF 15%
DNF 15%
August 2, 2023
Chyba jedna z lepszych młodzieżówek. Jest w niej dużo o spełnianiu marzeń, bohaterce kibicowałam od pierwszych stron.
January 23, 2022
“To this day, I don’t know how I didn’t scream. Maybe I was just used to it by then, this idea that pain is meant to be endured quietly.”
It’s so unbelievably rare to see illness and/or disability at the forefront of any stories, in any form of media, because disability is not desirable, only - to some, not all - pitiable.
Disabled representation is oftentimes forgotten on the sole basis that the world, or at least a large portion of it, aren’t willing to hear our voices or let our disabilities be a core part of the story, because they don’t want to see us as anything other than just our disability.
As a fellow disabled, OwnVoices (as of yet, unpublished) author, whenever I walk into reading a book about disability, I tend to find myself holding my breath. There are so very many things that could go wrong, and be done wrong.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten put my worries and fears about how the topic of disability would be handled to bed, tucked it in tightly and gave it a sweet kiss on the forehead.
To say it was good would be a criminal understatement. In all honesty, I don’t think there’s a strong enough word to express my profound, deep love for this book and the story within.
While I don’t have hip dysplasia, I do have chronic hip dislocations and subluxations that have affected my day-to-day living exponentially.
Much like Verónica, my most problem hip is my left. When I went into this book, I really expected that our problem hips - and the fact that we both had hip issues in the first place - to be the only thing I felt truly, deeply connected to. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
There were several times that I felt knocked back, because it was as if I was reading something out of my diary.
It felt so raw, real and personal, a lot of the time, it didn’t feel like I was reading a book; that these people were only fictional - it felt like I was reading someone’s diary, watching it alongside them, seeing their lived experiences unfold before my very eyes, which is a total testament to Natalia Sylvester’s utterly beautiful and gripping writing and her own personal story with hip dysplasia.
Sylvester’s ability to capture the hardships and fear that comes with disability and chronic pain, while also framing a picture of the poignancy and beauty that can also come with it is nothing short of magical. It was as if someone walked into my head, took my thoughts and my feelings, then put them into a book.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a deeply profound love letter to the disabled community, and how beautifully written that letter is.
There wasn’t a single moment that I didn’t enjoy of this novel. I found myself holding my breath, laughing, smiling, crying. It was truly a joyous experience.
Suffice to say, I give it a 5/5 stars - and if I could give it more, I would. I have found a brand new addition to my favourite books list.
Thank you to Natalia and her publisher for allowing me the opportunity to read this book as an ARC in exchange for my honest review. Reading this book was a deeply moving, beautiful, endearing and personal experience that has helped me understand the feelings that I couldn’t quite comprehend in regards to my disabilities, and especially my hip problems. I feel very honoured to have been given the opportunity to read this book and have it touch me in the way that it has, so from the bottom of my heart: thank you.
It’s so unbelievably rare to see illness and/or disability at the forefront of any stories, in any form of media, because disability is not desirable, only - to some, not all - pitiable.
Disabled representation is oftentimes forgotten on the sole basis that the world, or at least a large portion of it, aren’t willing to hear our voices or let our disabilities be a core part of the story, because they don’t want to see us as anything other than just our disability.
As a fellow disabled, OwnVoices (as of yet, unpublished) author, whenever I walk into reading a book about disability, I tend to find myself holding my breath. There are so very many things that could go wrong, and be done wrong.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten put my worries and fears about how the topic of disability would be handled to bed, tucked it in tightly and gave it a sweet kiss on the forehead.
To say it was good would be a criminal understatement. In all honesty, I don’t think there’s a strong enough word to express my profound, deep love for this book and the story within.
While I don’t have hip dysplasia, I do have chronic hip dislocations and subluxations that have affected my day-to-day living exponentially.
Much like Verónica, my most problem hip is my left. When I went into this book, I really expected that our problem hips - and the fact that we both had hip issues in the first place - to be the only thing I felt truly, deeply connected to. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
There were several times that I felt knocked back, because it was as if I was reading something out of my diary.
It felt so raw, real and personal, a lot of the time, it didn’t feel like I was reading a book; that these people were only fictional - it felt like I was reading someone’s diary, watching it alongside them, seeing their lived experiences unfold before my very eyes, which is a total testament to Natalia Sylvester’s utterly beautiful and gripping writing and her own personal story with hip dysplasia.
Sylvester’s ability to capture the hardships and fear that comes with disability and chronic pain, while also framing a picture of the poignancy and beauty that can also come with it is nothing short of magical. It was as if someone walked into my head, took my thoughts and my feelings, then put them into a book.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten is a deeply profound love letter to the disabled community, and how beautifully written that letter is.
There wasn’t a single moment that I didn’t enjoy of this novel. I found myself holding my breath, laughing, smiling, crying. It was truly a joyous experience.
Suffice to say, I give it a 5/5 stars - and if I could give it more, I would. I have found a brand new addition to my favourite books list.
Thank you to Natalia and her publisher for allowing me the opportunity to read this book as an ARC in exchange for my honest review. Reading this book was a deeply moving, beautiful, endearing and personal experience that has helped me understand the feelings that I couldn’t quite comprehend in regards to my disabilities, and especially my hip problems. I feel very honoured to have been given the opportunity to read this book and have it touch me in the way that it has, so from the bottom of my heart: thank you.
May 11, 2022
As a disabled person, I felt so safe reading this book and that's one of the best feelings in the world.
May 5, 2022
I have received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten was completely magical and breathtaking. From the very beginning, I was very intrigued by what Verónica was going through. Whether is medically, romantically, or swimmingly. I can't even imagine all the surgeries and pain she has gone through. Or finding out the truth of how serious her situation was.
It definitely shocked me that her parents were keeping it a secret when she's still 17 years old. I mean, heck, when I fractured my skull back in 4th grade, even I knew how serious my situation was and how easily things could have gone completely differently too. The one thing that made me happy for her, though, was how much she loved to swim. In some ways, I kept thinking this little glimpse of happiness could help heal her in a way. Of course, I was completely wrong, but I still secretly wished that it did.
Now her parents weren't the only ones keeping secrets. Nope, Verónica had so many and just couldn't stop herself from all the little lies either. Her being caught red handed was eventually going to happen. So, I wasn't completely shocked when it did. I just didn't like how intense her parents were for most of this book. I totally understand why they were mad about one huge thing because of the potential of getting really hurt. Other than that, they kind of smothered her and didn't really let her live her life or anything.
In the end, I really enjoyed the heck out of this book. It's always really interesting to dive into an own voice's novel. Or maybe that's just me feeling that way? I also liked getting to know more about hip dysplasia because I honestly didn't know much about it beforehand. Definitely happy that I got the chance to jump into this book and fall in love with Verónica. I can't wait for the next book Natalia writes.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten was completely magical and breathtaking. From the very beginning, I was very intrigued by what Verónica was going through. Whether is medically, romantically, or swimmingly. I can't even imagine all the surgeries and pain she has gone through. Or finding out the truth of how serious her situation was.
It definitely shocked me that her parents were keeping it a secret when she's still 17 years old. I mean, heck, when I fractured my skull back in 4th grade, even I knew how serious my situation was and how easily things could have gone completely differently too. The one thing that made me happy for her, though, was how much she loved to swim. In some ways, I kept thinking this little glimpse of happiness could help heal her in a way. Of course, I was completely wrong, but I still secretly wished that it did.
Now her parents weren't the only ones keeping secrets. Nope, Verónica had so many and just couldn't stop herself from all the little lies either. Her being caught red handed was eventually going to happen. So, I wasn't completely shocked when it did. I just didn't like how intense her parents were for most of this book. I totally understand why they were mad about one huge thing because of the potential of getting really hurt. Other than that, they kind of smothered her and didn't really let her live her life or anything.
In the end, I really enjoyed the heck out of this book. It's always really interesting to dive into an own voice's novel. Or maybe that's just me feeling that way? I also liked getting to know more about hip dysplasia because I honestly didn't know much about it beforehand. Definitely happy that I got the chance to jump into this book and fall in love with Verónica. I can't wait for the next book Natalia writes.
July 18, 2023
Natalia Sylvester, sama mając dysplazję biodra, „obdarowała” nią też swoją bohaterkę. I to właśnie temat zdrowia fizycznego jest w tej powieści najważniejszy, na równi z jej relacją z rodzicami. Jak to w YA, pojawia się oczywiście wątek romantyczny, ale jest on drugoplanowy i to mi się ogromnie podobało - oddanie głosu bohaterce z niepełnosprawnością i ukazanie, ile to kosztuje dziewczynę w wieku 17 lat. To skupienie uwagi na tym temacie daje kilka istotnych zagadnień do rozpatrzenia:
1. Jak niepełnosprawność wpływa na bycie osobą nastoletnią?
2. Jak wpływa na relację z rodzicami.
3. I niemniej ważne - z czym się wiąże dla młodszego, zdrowego rodzeństwa.
Wydaje mi się, że takich powieści nie ma zbyt wiele, że jak już mamy postaci z niepełnosprawnością, pojawiają się na drugim lub trzecim planie. Myślę, że „Weź wdech…” dzięki temu, jak jest napisana, może być taką powieścią oswajającą młodych ludzi z tematem niepełnosprawności, ukazującą, jakich zachowań nie powtarzać, czego nie robić.
Nie mniej istotnym zagadnieniem jest wątek rodziców Vero - imigrantów z Peru, katolików, którzy są zaborczy i nadopiekuńczy. Kultura/wiara plus strach przed deportacją to w tej powieści mieszanka wybuchowa i muszę przyznać, że wiele mnie kosztowało, żeby nie rzucić książką o ścianę, kiedy pojawiali się na scenie. Mam trochę uwag do tego, jak ten wątek nadopiekuńczości został zakończony, ponieważ moim zdaniem autorka zrobiła to zbyt gładko. Ale rozumiem zamysł, że to ma być powieść delikatna, zaznaczająca problemy bez skrajnego żerowania na emocjach osób czytających.
Vero ma 17 lat, ale muszę przyznać, że gdyby nie to, że ten wiek jest podany, myślałabym, że ma 14-15. Nie czułam w niej tej nastolatki, która jest już prawie dorosła. Miałam wrażenie, że to bardziej wciąż zagubiona dziewczyna, która dopiero odkrywa nastoletnią burzę hormonów. Z tego powodu powieść jak najbardziej będzie OK i dla młodszej młodzieży.
1. Jak niepełnosprawność wpływa na bycie osobą nastoletnią?
2. Jak wpływa na relację z rodzicami.
3. I niemniej ważne - z czym się wiąże dla młodszego, zdrowego rodzeństwa.
Wydaje mi się, że takich powieści nie ma zbyt wiele, że jak już mamy postaci z niepełnosprawnością, pojawiają się na drugim lub trzecim planie. Myślę, że „Weź wdech…” dzięki temu, jak jest napisana, może być taką powieścią oswajającą młodych ludzi z tematem niepełnosprawności, ukazującą, jakich zachowań nie powtarzać, czego nie robić.
Nie mniej istotnym zagadnieniem jest wątek rodziców Vero - imigrantów z Peru, katolików, którzy są zaborczy i nadopiekuńczy. Kultura/wiara plus strach przed deportacją to w tej powieści mieszanka wybuchowa i muszę przyznać, że wiele mnie kosztowało, żeby nie rzucić książką o ścianę, kiedy pojawiali się na scenie. Mam trochę uwag do tego, jak ten wątek nadopiekuńczości został zakończony, ponieważ moim zdaniem autorka zrobiła to zbyt gładko. Ale rozumiem zamysł, że to ma być powieść delikatna, zaznaczająca problemy bez skrajnego żerowania na emocjach osób czytających.
Vero ma 17 lat, ale muszę przyznać, że gdyby nie to, że ten wiek jest podany, myślałabym, że ma 14-15. Nie czułam w niej tej nastolatki, która jest już prawie dorosła. Miałam wrażenie, że to bardziej wciąż zagubiona dziewczyna, która dopiero odkrywa nastoletnią burzę hormonów. Z tego powodu powieść jak najbardziej będzie OK i dla młodszej młodzieży.
June 16, 2024
“Unable to see my legs, I feel a kinship to the mermaids. My cast covered my left leg in its entirety and my right down to my knees. It created a dividing line between the upper and the lower parts of my body that I could and couldn’t use. Like the mermaids, I too, was a hybrid creature with two halves that didn’t match. Until I first encountered them, I’d never considered this could be beautiful.”
4.5/5 stars
Considering the rarity of good representation of chronic illness in books in general, but especially the ones for children and teens, it’s a joy to find gems like this one! Breathe and Count Back From Ten is an unforgettable YA-contemporary about a Peruvian-American girl navigating her painful hip dysplasia, overprotective immigrant parents, and first love, all while chasing her dream of becoming a professional mermaid.
Verónica has always loved the water. Not only is gravity so much kinder, allowing her to move as freely and gracefully as she wants, it’s also the home of her favourite mythological creature: the mermaid. When an opportunity opens up for a performing mermaid in the elite under-water show of a local historical site/theme-park: Roni jumps at the opportunity. The life of a performing mermaid isn’t easy however, especially when your parents, as well as the rest of the world have different ideas about what’s safe and “appropriate” for your body to do.
Having been a disabled teen who loved the water herself, I related to Verónica in many ways. I adored the many important discussions that were had here. From Roni’s split between wanting to love her body, and feeling like the world wants to erase its flaws, to her relationship with her overprotective parents who want the best for their daughter, but end up holding her too tight… It all works in this story, and clearly comes from a place of understanding and experience from the author herself. Even the romance, despite being a little too insta-love-y for my taste, won me over eventually thanks to the wonderful discussions of mental health and bodily difference had between the two.
The parallel with the mermaid mythology is where the story truly shines, as speaks from the quote above. Roni’s feeling of displacement in a world that doesn’t cater to the needs of her body, and only seems to accept her when she “masks” her differences to create the illusion of perfection struck a deep cord with me. The same goes for the performance-aspect of this elite mermaid-troup. To use Roni’s own words:
“The way she said crutch makes me feel like needing one is a bad thing. Like maybe the “magic” isn’t just about believing in mermaids; it’s about believing people like me don’t exist. Like maybe admitting I’ve needed crutches dispels the myths we want to believe about people. That we’re not perfect. That our bodies have needs. That this doesn’t make us any less real. Any less human.”
Breathe and Count Back From Ten does disability representation justice. It’s not a “inspirational tale” written by able-bodied people, for able bodied people to pity. It’s a story without a tear-jerking, preachy agenda; a love letter to bodily differences, and a tale that invites readers to see themselves in.
I truly hope this book gets the recognition and support it deserves. Not just to help (young) disabled readers see themselves in a story, but to show publishers that this is the new era of disability-fiction we want!
Read-alikes: Like Water
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
4.5/5 stars
Considering the rarity of good representation of chronic illness in books in general, but especially the ones for children and teens, it’s a joy to find gems like this one! Breathe and Count Back From Ten is an unforgettable YA-contemporary about a Peruvian-American girl navigating her painful hip dysplasia, overprotective immigrant parents, and first love, all while chasing her dream of becoming a professional mermaid.
Verónica has always loved the water. Not only is gravity so much kinder, allowing her to move as freely and gracefully as she wants, it’s also the home of her favourite mythological creature: the mermaid. When an opportunity opens up for a performing mermaid in the elite under-water show of a local historical site/theme-park: Roni jumps at the opportunity. The life of a performing mermaid isn’t easy however, especially when your parents, as well as the rest of the world have different ideas about what’s safe and “appropriate” for your body to do.
Having been a disabled teen who loved the water herself, I related to Verónica in many ways. I adored the many important discussions that were had here. From Roni’s split between wanting to love her body, and feeling like the world wants to erase its flaws, to her relationship with her overprotective parents who want the best for their daughter, but end up holding her too tight… It all works in this story, and clearly comes from a place of understanding and experience from the author herself. Even the romance, despite being a little too insta-love-y for my taste, won me over eventually thanks to the wonderful discussions of mental health and bodily difference had between the two.
The parallel with the mermaid mythology is where the story truly shines, as speaks from the quote above. Roni’s feeling of displacement in a world that doesn’t cater to the needs of her body, and only seems to accept her when she “masks” her differences to create the illusion of perfection struck a deep cord with me. The same goes for the performance-aspect of this elite mermaid-troup. To use Roni’s own words:
“The way she said crutch makes me feel like needing one is a bad thing. Like maybe the “magic” isn’t just about believing in mermaids; it’s about believing people like me don’t exist. Like maybe admitting I’ve needed crutches dispels the myths we want to believe about people. That we’re not perfect. That our bodies have needs. That this doesn’t make us any less real. Any less human.”
Breathe and Count Back From Ten does disability representation justice. It’s not a “inspirational tale” written by able-bodied people, for able bodied people to pity. It’s a story without a tear-jerking, preachy agenda; a love letter to bodily differences, and a tale that invites readers to see themselves in.
I truly hope this book gets the recognition and support it deserves. Not just to help (young) disabled readers see themselves in a story, but to show publishers that this is the new era of disability-fiction we want!
Read-alikes: Like Water
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
April 18, 2022
Brilliant and profound in so many ways - I’m awestruck. I’m having a hard time encapsulating how incredible this book was in a review, because none of the words I say will do it justice.
This is my first book by Natalia Sylvester and wow the writing is flawless. Eloquent, lyrical, powerful. The switch between Spanish and English, and internal musings of Verónica were so perfect. This book tackles many deep topics. Disability, being an immigrant in America, having strict, traditional parents, poverty, medical struggles and bodily autonomy. It tells the story of a 17 year old Peruvian-American girl with hip dysplasia who dreams of being a mermaid. Yes, literally a mermaid, at an attraction called Mermaid Cove in the town she grew up in in Florida.
Overall the story is a simple one, but the beauty comes from the deeper story about an immigrant family trying to stay afloat in this often unfair country, and a disabled girl learning to love herself and her body.
“Here, it seems everyone gets to be whole but me. They get to be seen for who they are, not for what they aren’t. They get to be defined by the things they do instead of the things they don’t. Meanwhile, I get split into all these little pieces: Peruvian. Disabled. Immigrant. Fragmented as if I couldn’t possibly be everything all at once, and more.”
This is an Own Voices novel, so the author herself is Peruvian-American and has hip dysplasia. There is something always so deeply captivating with Own Voices novels - you can feel how real it is. The way Verónica described her relationship with her body - and the ways illness and disability have changed her - were so meaningful and striking, I could feel it in my soul. As a disabled woman myself, this was undeniably relatable in a way books rarely are. Illness and disability are not often at the forefront of novels, especially YA novels, but here it’s done so delicately, yet truthfully and without shame, that I can’t help but be in awe.
A stunning novel all around. I think everyone can gain something from this book.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review!
This is my first book by Natalia Sylvester and wow the writing is flawless. Eloquent, lyrical, powerful. The switch between Spanish and English, and internal musings of Verónica were so perfect. This book tackles many deep topics. Disability, being an immigrant in America, having strict, traditional parents, poverty, medical struggles and bodily autonomy. It tells the story of a 17 year old Peruvian-American girl with hip dysplasia who dreams of being a mermaid. Yes, literally a mermaid, at an attraction called Mermaid Cove in the town she grew up in in Florida.
Overall the story is a simple one, but the beauty comes from the deeper story about an immigrant family trying to stay afloat in this often unfair country, and a disabled girl learning to love herself and her body.
“Here, it seems everyone gets to be whole but me. They get to be seen for who they are, not for what they aren’t. They get to be defined by the things they do instead of the things they don’t. Meanwhile, I get split into all these little pieces: Peruvian. Disabled. Immigrant. Fragmented as if I couldn’t possibly be everything all at once, and more.”
This is an Own Voices novel, so the author herself is Peruvian-American and has hip dysplasia. There is something always so deeply captivating with Own Voices novels - you can feel how real it is. The way Verónica described her relationship with her body - and the ways illness and disability have changed her - were so meaningful and striking, I could feel it in my soul. As a disabled woman myself, this was undeniably relatable in a way books rarely are. Illness and disability are not often at the forefront of novels, especially YA novels, but here it’s done so delicately, yet truthfully and without shame, that I can’t help but be in awe.
A stunning novel all around. I think everyone can gain something from this book.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review!
August 11, 2023
3.5⭐️ młodzieżówka poruszająca ważne tematy takie jak: niepełnosprawność, depresja, wychowywanie przez kontrolujacych rodziców. Główna bohaterka chce spełniać swoje marzenia i być sobą chociaż dysplazja biodra jej to utrudnia. Wszyscy chcą dla niej dobrze, ale nikt nie zapyta czego ona tak na prawdę chce.
Polecam, ale nie ma między nami jakiejś wielkiej miłości. Bardzo podobały mi się wypowiedzi Verónici dotyczące tego, jak czuje się pod wodą, bo ja czuję się tam tak samo. To i nawiązania do syren to moje ulubione momenty. Duży plus za poruszenie tematu operacji, opisywania tego, jak się czuje główna bohaterka i jak widzi świat, który jest niedostosowany do takich osób jak ona. Wątek romantyczny moim zdaniem był zbędny, spotkali się z 3 razy i jak doszło do czegoś poważnego to aż się zdziwiłam, bo bardziej przypominali po prostu parę znajomych.
Polecam, ale nie ma między nami jakiejś wielkiej miłości. Bardzo podobały mi się wypowiedzi Verónici dotyczące tego, jak czuje się pod wodą, bo ja czuję się tam tak samo. To i nawiązania do syren to moje ulubione momenty. Duży plus za poruszenie tematu operacji, opisywania tego, jak się czuje główna bohaterka i jak widzi świat, który jest niedostosowany do takich osób jak ona. Wątek romantyczny moim zdaniem był zbędny, spotkali się z 3 razy i jak doszło do czegoś poważnego to aż się zdziwiłam, bo bardziej przypominali po prostu parę znajomych.
July 23, 2023
4,5⭐️
to było przepiękne i ważne, i jeszcze przez długi czas ze mną zostanie
to było przepiękne i ważne, i jeszcze przez długi czas ze mną zostanie
July 23, 2023
„W wodzie chlor smakuje jak spokój, a ruch jest wolnością. Nikt nie widzi mojego utykania i blizn, nikt się nie gapi, gdy przechodzę obok. Grawitacja jest dużo łaskawsza. Woda to dom.”🫧
(4,25✨)
Ta historia niezwykle chwyciła mnie za serce i odnalazłam w niej wiele fragmentów które do mnie trafiły. Reprezentacja bohaterki z niepełnosprawnością sprawia, że historia staje się niesamowicie ważna i potrzebna dla wielu osób. Najbardziej jednak spodobały mi się cytaty nawiązujące do pływania, wody etc 🌊🥹 i wątek romantyczny który był bardzo subtelny ale równocześnie znaczący. Polecam każdemu!!
(4,25✨)
Ta historia niezwykle chwyciła mnie za serce i odnalazłam w niej wiele fragmentów które do mnie trafiły. Reprezentacja bohaterki z niepełnosprawnością sprawia, że historia staje się niesamowicie ważna i potrzebna dla wielu osób. Najbardziej jednak spodobały mi się cytaty nawiązujące do pływania, wody etc 🌊🥹 i wątek romantyczny który był bardzo subtelny ale równocześnie znaczący. Polecam każdemu!!
April 20, 2022
Quick Stats
Genre: YA Contemporary
Age Rating: 13/14+
Over All: 5000 stars
Plot: 5/5
Characters: 5/5
Setting: 5/5
Writing: 5/5
Disability Rep: 5/5
TW: ableism, depression, brief mention of past suicidal ideation, discussion of previous surgeries and potential surgeries
Special thanks to Clarion Teen and NetGalley for an eARC of this book! All thoughts and opinions reflected in this review are my own.
How am I supposed to review this book? I’m going to be honest, I suck at reviewing books that I really truly loved. I find it easy to piece apart critiques and point out aspects that I didn’t quite enjoy or couldn’t connect with or think could have been done better, but I genuinely have nothing bad—or hell, nothing even remotely critical to—say about this book. Not a thing.
I knew I was going to love this book long before it even had a cover. I mean, a disabled girl who wants to be a mermaid? Yes please. And BACBFT exceeded every hope and expectation I had.
Verónica was so real. I am disabled, and though my disabilities are very different from hers, I connected to and related to her so deeply. Natalia Sylvester crafted a character who exudes raw emotion and who just completely absorbed me. Vero, her struggles, her personality, all of it was so easy to fall into and get lost in. I became so wrapped up in her story that I read the majority of this book in one sitting, because I just couldn’t put it down.
This is a story about disability, identity, immigrants, mental health, love, being true to yourself, and so much more. And every one of those aspects was executed masterfully, emotionally, and in a way that is simply unforgettable.
I loved the Mermaid Cove aspect of the story. I can honestly say I’ve never read a book that has anything like that—and I loved it. I loved the atmosphere of the Cove. We get to see it through Verónica’s eyes as a child, when she tells us about her first ever visit. We get to see it through 17-year-old Verónica’s eyes as she visits again. We get to see it as a child, an outsider, and then behind the scenes. We see the juxtaposition of the childhood fantasy and the harsh reality. I felt like I was experiencing these things with Vero, and it was such a visceral thing to me.
I adored Alex. He’s the kind of character you can’t help falling in love with yourself. He’s so perfect while still being flawed and real. I really liked the fact that he also grew in his own ways, outside of his relationship with Verónica. So often, the love interest is just the love interest. They exist to be something to the main character. And they can be interesting characters who still make you swoon, but they sometimes feel static. Alex felt like his own person. He was changing and growing with Vero, alongside her, and on his own. It made him a uniquely engaging character, and he added so much to the story.
Every character, in fact, felt so fleshed out. They were their own people, and it made the book come alive.
Honestly, all I can say is this is a beautiful, mesmerizing, powerful book, and you need to read it. It is one of the best books I have ever read. I already wish I could read it again for the first time and experience it all over again.
If you’re going to take any of my recommendations—make it this one.
-
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS IVE READ EVER
FULL REVIEW TO COME
BUT SERIOUSLY IM IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK
Genre: YA Contemporary
Age Rating: 13/14+
Over All: 5000 stars
Plot: 5/5
Characters: 5/5
Setting: 5/5
Writing: 5/5
Disability Rep: 5/5
TW: ableism, depression, brief mention of past suicidal ideation, discussion of previous surgeries and potential surgeries
Special thanks to Clarion Teen and NetGalley for an eARC of this book! All thoughts and opinions reflected in this review are my own.
How am I supposed to review this book? I’m going to be honest, I suck at reviewing books that I really truly loved. I find it easy to piece apart critiques and point out aspects that I didn’t quite enjoy or couldn’t connect with or think could have been done better, but I genuinely have nothing bad—or hell, nothing even remotely critical to—say about this book. Not a thing.
I knew I was going to love this book long before it even had a cover. I mean, a disabled girl who wants to be a mermaid? Yes please. And BACBFT exceeded every hope and expectation I had.
Verónica was so real. I am disabled, and though my disabilities are very different from hers, I connected to and related to her so deeply. Natalia Sylvester crafted a character who exudes raw emotion and who just completely absorbed me. Vero, her struggles, her personality, all of it was so easy to fall into and get lost in. I became so wrapped up in her story that I read the majority of this book in one sitting, because I just couldn’t put it down.
This is a story about disability, identity, immigrants, mental health, love, being true to yourself, and so much more. And every one of those aspects was executed masterfully, emotionally, and in a way that is simply unforgettable.
I loved the Mermaid Cove aspect of the story. I can honestly say I’ve never read a book that has anything like that—and I loved it. I loved the atmosphere of the Cove. We get to see it through Verónica’s eyes as a child, when she tells us about her first ever visit. We get to see it through 17-year-old Verónica’s eyes as she visits again. We get to see it as a child, an outsider, and then behind the scenes. We see the juxtaposition of the childhood fantasy and the harsh reality. I felt like I was experiencing these things with Vero, and it was such a visceral thing to me.
I adored Alex. He’s the kind of character you can’t help falling in love with yourself. He’s so perfect while still being flawed and real. I really liked the fact that he also grew in his own ways, outside of his relationship with Verónica. So often, the love interest is just the love interest. They exist to be something to the main character. And they can be interesting characters who still make you swoon, but they sometimes feel static. Alex felt like his own person. He was changing and growing with Vero, alongside her, and on his own. It made him a uniquely engaging character, and he added so much to the story.
Every character, in fact, felt so fleshed out. They were their own people, and it made the book come alive.
Honestly, all I can say is this is a beautiful, mesmerizing, powerful book, and you need to read it. It is one of the best books I have ever read. I already wish I could read it again for the first time and experience it all over again.
If you’re going to take any of my recommendations—make it this one.
-
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS IVE READ EVER
FULL REVIEW TO COME
BUT SERIOUSLY IM IN LOVE WITH THIS BOOK
March 21, 2022
Where to begin on this truly brilliant book?? It is the perfect summery read, full of kitschy mermaids and friendship, with a bit of a romance and coming of age thrown in.
Verónica is a 17 year old Peruvian American who lives in a small Florida town, famous for it's mermaid performances. Ever since she was a child, Verónica has dreamed of becoming one of them. She feels at home, safe, in the water due to her hip condition - it is one of the only places she doesn't stand out or feel pain. But when she finally gets the chance to audition, Verónica knows her parents won't allow it. For the first time, she decides that doing what she dreams of might be worth the risk of going against their plan for her.
The plot of this book is pretty simplistic, but the relationships between the characters are really where the author spends her time. Reading about the family dynamics and the strong friendships within this book was addicting. I truly felt the characters come to life, and could see how deeply they cared about each other, even if they didn't always show it the best. I will say though that the romance was a bit off - felt way too intense too quickly, and then sorta stagnated. But that is literally my only criticism of this book!
As well as the relationships, the main focus of this book, despite not really being mentioned in the blurb, is Verónica's reclamation of her own body. As a disabled woman myself, who was a disabled teen, I could really relate to her feeling distance from her body, like it doesn't belong to her. Throughout the story, she has her parents policing what she should do - who can touch her, where she can go, which surgeries she should have, if she is allowed a job - on top of having a medical condition that limits her movement. We see this build up until she feels like she has no control over her self or her life, before she decides she needs to reclaim ownership. It was a really powerful character arc that I really wish was made available to me as a teen. Sylvester did an absolutely impeccable job.
TW: This book also contains a moment of dubious consent/mocking Verónica in a vulnerable moment. This is something that happens all too often for disabled women so I am glad the author included it, but it may be triggering for some.
Overall, a really solid 4.5. Even if you don't love YA, you might enjoy this! It is released on 10th of May - definitely one to add to your summer reading list.
Thank you to NetGalley and Clarion Books for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Verónica is a 17 year old Peruvian American who lives in a small Florida town, famous for it's mermaid performances. Ever since she was a child, Verónica has dreamed of becoming one of them. She feels at home, safe, in the water due to her hip condition - it is one of the only places she doesn't stand out or feel pain. But when she finally gets the chance to audition, Verónica knows her parents won't allow it. For the first time, she decides that doing what she dreams of might be worth the risk of going against their plan for her.
The plot of this book is pretty simplistic, but the relationships between the characters are really where the author spends her time. Reading about the family dynamics and the strong friendships within this book was addicting. I truly felt the characters come to life, and could see how deeply they cared about each other, even if they didn't always show it the best. I will say though that the romance was a bit off - felt way too intense too quickly, and then sorta stagnated. But that is literally my only criticism of this book!
As well as the relationships, the main focus of this book, despite not really being mentioned in the blurb, is Verónica's reclamation of her own body. As a disabled woman myself, who was a disabled teen, I could really relate to her feeling distance from her body, like it doesn't belong to her. Throughout the story, she has her parents policing what she should do - who can touch her, where she can go, which surgeries she should have, if she is allowed a job - on top of having a medical condition that limits her movement. We see this build up until she feels like she has no control over her self or her life, before she decides she needs to reclaim ownership. It was a really powerful character arc that I really wish was made available to me as a teen. Sylvester did an absolutely impeccable job.
TW: This book also contains a moment of dubious consent/mocking Verónica in a vulnerable moment. This is something that happens all too often for disabled women so I am glad the author included it, but it may be triggering for some.
Overall, a really solid 4.5. Even if you don't love YA, you might enjoy this! It is released on 10th of May - definitely one to add to your summer reading list.
Thank you to NetGalley and Clarion Books for the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
May 15, 2024
Chciałabym, żeby wszyscy przeczytali tą książkę🥹
July 1, 2022
Sometimes I hate myself for starting a new book so soon after finishing one that I cherish so much. Somehow it feels unfair to review Breathe and Count Back from Ten because my mind was still on that other book, and therefore I might have been less enthusiastic than I thought I would be.
First of all, I loved the premise of this story, a Peruvian-American girl with hip dysplasia finally trying to be who she wants to be instead of being that disabled Peruvian girl with very strict and overprotective parents.
Natalia Sylvester’s writing is captivating and very easy to read, and will probably attract lots of teens. I found the Mermaid theme well-chosen, especially related to Veronica’s disability. I adored Alex from the start, and I loved the character growth in this story.
And still … Somehow, I didn’t feel much. I didn’t long for the story when I wasn’t reading. I found myself not really caring for the characters. I thought the romance was a bit rushed and underdeveloped. I just read, and my mind was on the book I had read before.
So, please read other reviews because this is definitely an it’s me, not the book case.
I received an ARC from Harper360YA in exchange for an honest review.
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First of all, I loved the premise of this story, a Peruvian-American girl with hip dysplasia finally trying to be who she wants to be instead of being that disabled Peruvian girl with very strict and overprotective parents.
Natalia Sylvester’s writing is captivating and very easy to read, and will probably attract lots of teens. I found the Mermaid theme well-chosen, especially related to Veronica’s disability. I adored Alex from the start, and I loved the character growth in this story.
And still … Somehow, I didn’t feel much. I didn’t long for the story when I wasn’t reading. I found myself not really caring for the characters. I thought the romance was a bit rushed and underdeveloped. I just read, and my mind was on the book I had read before.
So, please read other reviews because this is definitely an it’s me, not the book case.
I received an ARC from Harper360YA in exchange for an honest review.
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March 10, 2022
It makes me so happy to slowly see more stories with disabled main characters being published, and especially when they have disabilities that aren't represented more often. This book has a main character with hip dysplasia, and I loved the representation. I loved how neutrally she viewed her disability - not as something that is good or bad, necessarily, but as something that is simply there and doesn't diminish her value. I also loved how she addressed ableism she encountered, both out loud and internally.
I did enjoy the story in itself a lot as well, especially the mermaid storyline. I did however feel like the romance was a little underdeveloped, especially because it had next to no build-up. I would have liked to see a little more tension there.
I did enjoy the story in itself a lot as well, especially the mermaid storyline. I did however feel like the romance was a little underdeveloped, especially because it had next to no build-up. I would have liked to see a little more tension there.
August 26, 2023
Niestety druga połowa miała dla mnie znaczny spadek formy co widać po intensywności moich znaczników :(( szkoda bo myślałam, że to będzie moje 5/5
July 14, 2023
milion/10
November 3, 2021
Breathtaking and utterly original, BREATHE AND COUNT BACK FROM TEN is a beautiful tribute to disabled bodies and a vital addition to YA literature. I wish I had this book when I was a teenager.
May 7, 2023
This was just fine for me! I’m not a mermaid fan necessarily but I liked the mermaid side of the story. It was cute. I think if I had read this as a teenager I would’ve loved it more because of the dramatic MC. I probably would’ve related to her more. I would try one of the adult novels by this author!
June 11, 2022
Thanks to NetGalley & Clarion Books for an eARC of this book. The following review is my honest reflection on the text provided.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from Breathe and Count Back from Ten , just based on the cover and the synopsis, but I was very pleasantly surprised.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten tells a simple story of a teenage girl who wants to be a mermaid, but the complexity and the interest are all in the details. Since Verónica was young, she's been in awe of the mermaid performers at Mermaid Cove and has always dreamed of becoming one of them. As someone with hip dysplasia, she has learned to find herself in the water and finds solace in swimming. But, while her sister and best friend push her to follow her dream, and even her mother is supportive in a quiet way, her father is strongly opposed to the idea. And when her father makes a decision, that is the final word.
"In the water, chlorine tastes like peace and movement becomes freedom. Nobody notices my limp or scars, nobody stares as I move past them. Gravity is so much kinder here. Water is home."
It's rare to have a disability central to a narrative and for it to be discussed so openly and honestly. We learn about Verónica's pain, her experiences in hospitals and with anaesthesia from a young age, and how it impacts her day-to-day experiences and her plans for the future. There's an insight into how she views herself and the interactions she has learned to expect from others, particularly new acquaintances. I can't speak to the validity of these experiences from my own perspective, but they felt real to me.
"Here, it seems everyone gets to be whole but me. They get to be seen for who they are, not for what they aren't. They get to be defined by the things they do instead of the things they don't. Meanwhile, I get split into all these little pieces: Peruvian. Disabled. Immigrant. Fragmented as if I couldn't possibly be everything all at once, and more."
While I did find Verónica's father to be incredibly overbearing throughout the story, there's no question that he cares for her and is a good father. Everything he does is to support her, right down to the job he does to ensure the health care she needs for her many surgeries and medical appointments.
A simple story beautifully told from a unique (to popular fiction, not to the general population) perspective - I would highly recommend Breathe and Count Back from Ten .
Review originally posted here on Britt's Book Blurbs.
To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from Breathe and Count Back from Ten , just based on the cover and the synopsis, but I was very pleasantly surprised.
Breathe and Count Back from Ten tells a simple story of a teenage girl who wants to be a mermaid, but the complexity and the interest are all in the details. Since Verónica was young, she's been in awe of the mermaid performers at Mermaid Cove and has always dreamed of becoming one of them. As someone with hip dysplasia, she has learned to find herself in the water and finds solace in swimming. But, while her sister and best friend push her to follow her dream, and even her mother is supportive in a quiet way, her father is strongly opposed to the idea. And when her father makes a decision, that is the final word.
"In the water, chlorine tastes like peace and movement becomes freedom. Nobody notices my limp or scars, nobody stares as I move past them. Gravity is so much kinder here. Water is home."
It's rare to have a disability central to a narrative and for it to be discussed so openly and honestly. We learn about Verónica's pain, her experiences in hospitals and with anaesthesia from a young age, and how it impacts her day-to-day experiences and her plans for the future. There's an insight into how she views herself and the interactions she has learned to expect from others, particularly new acquaintances. I can't speak to the validity of these experiences from my own perspective, but they felt real to me.
"Here, it seems everyone gets to be whole but me. They get to be seen for who they are, not for what they aren't. They get to be defined by the things they do instead of the things they don't. Meanwhile, I get split into all these little pieces: Peruvian. Disabled. Immigrant. Fragmented as if I couldn't possibly be everything all at once, and more."
While I did find Verónica's father to be incredibly overbearing throughout the story, there's no question that he cares for her and is a good father. Everything he does is to support her, right down to the job he does to ensure the health care she needs for her many surgeries and medical appointments.
A simple story beautifully told from a unique (to popular fiction, not to the general population) perspective - I would highly recommend Breathe and Count Back from Ten .
Review originally posted here on Britt's Book Blurbs.
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January 18, 2024
No no.....Muszę powiedzieć, że moja relacja z tą książką jest taka jest z "Lakelore" I jest to jedna z lepszych książek w tym roku....I z pewnością mam ogromną ilość rzeczy do powiedzenia i do wypunktowania i wypuentowania tego, jak pewne wzorce, które są gdzieś górujące i wpłatane wpływają na nasz w ogóle wyraz i urzwiekowwnie komunikatów i komunikacji międzyludzkich jako takich...
Muszę pozbierać to do składowej składni myśli i wtedy coś napiszę, bo dla mnie ta książka także jest ważna I serio mam nadzieję, że sięgnięcie.
Muszę pozbierać to do składowej składni myśli i wtedy coś napiszę, bo dla mnie ta książka także jest ważna I serio mam nadzieję, że sięgnięcie.
January 26, 2024
Breathe and Count Back from Ten is one of the most beautifully written books I’ve read in a long time. Natalia Sylvester’s prose felt like poetry at times and because of that, I felt every single one Verónica’s feelings deep in my soul.
I really appreciated how the author depicted the expectations immigrant parents place on their children, and the pressure those children face as a result. I was also so impressed with the disability representation and how the author tied that into Verónica’s love of mermaids and the water.
I would have loved to see the relationship between Verónica and Alex developed a bit more and I would have loved to spend more time at Mermaid Cove, but otherwise, it’s a win!
I really appreciated how the author depicted the expectations immigrant parents place on their children, and the pressure those children face as a result. I was also so impressed with the disability representation and how the author tied that into Verónica’s love of mermaids and the water.
I would have loved to see the relationship between Verónica and Alex developed a bit more and I would have loved to spend more time at Mermaid Cove, but otherwise, it’s a win!
August 7, 2022
This was lovely!! I want more disability stories like this, especially ones by non-white authors.
Rep: Peruvian-American immigrant cishet female MC with hip dysplasia, Mexican-American cishet male side character with depression, immigrant Peruvian-American side characters, Black sapphic cis female side character, biracial Seminole nonbinary side character, white bisexual cis female side character, various white cis female side characters.
Rep: Peruvian-American immigrant cishet female MC with hip dysplasia, Mexican-American cishet male side character with depression, immigrant Peruvian-American side characters, Black sapphic cis female side character, biracial Seminole nonbinary side character, white bisexual cis female side character, various white cis female side characters.
July 22, 2023
3,5
nudna i w sumie o wszystkim o o niczym
nudna i w sumie o wszystkim o o niczym
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