A singer-songwriter's heartfelt memoir about growing up in a bohemian musical family and her experiences with love, loss, motherhood, divorce, the music industry, and more. Born into music royalty, the daughter of folk legends Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III and sister to the highly-acclaimed and genre-defying singer Rufus Wainwright, Martha grew up in a world filled with such incomparable folk legends as Leonard Cohen; Suzy Roche, Anna McGarrigle, Richard and Linda Thompson, Pete Townsend, Donald Fagan and Emmylou Harris. It was within this loud, boisterous, carny, musical milieu that Martha came of age, struggling to find her voice until she exploded on the scene with her 2005 debut critically acclaimed album, Martha Wainwright, containing the blistering hit, "
Martha Wainwright, daughter of legendary Canadian, Kate McGarrigle, of the duo Kate and Anna McGarrigle, spilled her guts with this memoir. She took us deep into her world filled with love, heartbreak, jealousy, despair, loss, self-actualization and music — lots of it.
Some aspects of Stories I Might Regret Telling You were hard to engage with. The drug use and the ways that people seek to cope with the pain they feel by hurting others is never an easy experience to contend with. However, it’s not meant to be easy or pretty or perfect and that’s real life.
Martha shared that it was no easy feat to write this memoir and that it took her 7 years, with numerous restarts, and various parts of it used against her in custody and divorce disputes with her ex-husband. That didn’t deter her from sharing her story and I respect that she specifically shared her story, while giving the necessary respect, where reasonable, to her family members. She was dually forthcoming and reserved with personal family details in areas where it didn’t coalesce with her or her reaction to various events or particular experiences — specifically with said ex-husband.
Cutting out your own successful existence when you come from a famous family can have its challenges. The feeling of never feeling “good enough” is one of them. The feeling of disconnection you have from the more successful members can also feel particularly ugly. Sometimes you have to fight your way to your own personhood, especially when you’re standing in the shadows of everyone around you. A lot of her complicated moments, felt like watching someone run around in the dark.
It’s satisfying the loving relationship her brother, the effortlessly talented Rufus Wainwright, and her are able to maintain. Her brother was always overshadowed (to me) by Jeff Buckley, and her speaking on Jeff Buckley addressed the comparisons to some degree, while also paying respects to Jeff Buckley’s influence on the singer-songwriters of NYC in the mid-late 90s. The photo section of Stories was a wonderful retrospective of family and family ties, but more specifically of a woman growing, maturing and standing on her own two feet.
I’ve been a fan of Martha’s emotiveness, her raspiness and outspoken nature for years. Experiencing this audiobook in her own voice was amazing. Not everyone will enjoy this, but I found it intriguing!
I’m grateful that I could tie up both the audio and digital copies from the Toronto Public Library and that they got it so fast and let me borrow them so fast, as it is a new release! Big up the TPL!
I love a memoir- especially ones about musicians and/or authors. It makes you read or listen to their work differently after. Sometimes in a good way or sometimes in a bad way.
Martha definitely left it all on the page but maybe it needed to be edited a little more? It did ramble at times and gave too much detail that didn't really help or hurt- was just there.
I saw Stories I Might Regret Telling You: A Memoir by Martha Wainwright in my local bookstore last August (2022) and it looked interesting so I decided to buy it and check it out. I knew nothing about Martha except that, from reading the blurb, she was the daughter of Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III, and sister of Rufus Wainwright. Back in my university days, I remember purchasing Kate and sister, Anna's Dancer with Bruised Knees album and I also remember her father appearing on an episode of M.A.S.H. back in the day. So based on that brief knowledge, I was looking forward, somewhat to trying the book.
Well, I have to say, the book didn't let me down. It provides a fascinating view of an interesting family; half Canadian (the McGarrigles) and half American (the Wainwrights). Kate and Loudon divorced after the births of Rufus and Martha and this extended family got even more extended, due to the follow-on relationships both parents had afterwards. Martha describes with feeling the impact of the marriage, the break-up, the influence of both parents, the competition she had with her talented brother, the struggles she had to create her own path. It's a fascinating insight into a unique family dynamic.
They fought, even physically. They supported each other, Kate, touring with her children, the children touring with each other. There are the annual family gatherings which included other musician friends. The impact that the McGarrigle sisters had on other musicians, like Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt, and others. I was surprised (I guess) to discover their popularity in England and Australia. It must have been so fascinating to attend a concert where the whole family and friends gathered for a McGarrigle celebration, to play each others' music, to sing each others' songs, so fascinating.
Of course the story follows Martha's life, her growing up, her relationships, her partying, her attempts to get her career going, her successes and struggles, her family relationships. It's all told so very well and passionately. It was terribly emotional as she deals with her first pregnancy and at the same time, her mother's increasing frailty as she struggles with cancer, and also the friction in Martha's own relationship. The book is just a page-turner, a fascinating look at an interesting woman and family. I wish her the best for her future. Check it out. (4.0 stars)
I admit that curiosity drove me to listen to this memoir from Martha Wainwright. I have one of her albums, most of brother Rufus’s albums, and am very familiar with the music, especially the songwriting, of Canadian folk legends Kate and Anna McGarrigle (Kate was Martha and Rufus’s mother.) Martha narrated the memoir herself, and I’ll start by saying her voice is evidence that she really ought to quit smoking, especially because she’s a singer and because her mother died a drawn-out, miserable death of cancer. OK, preaching done.
There’s not much to surprise here. The whole family is involved in music, including father Loudon Wainwright III, his partner after Kate, Suzzy Roche, and their daughter, Lucy, Rufus and Martha’s half-sister. So there was plenty about the music business. What drew my attention most, though, was the family stuff. Martha and Rufus are very attached, but there’s a broad streak of sibling rivalry—Martha is constantly measuring herself against him (he’s older by three years), even in silly stuff like who had the best wedding. The memoir is liberally peppered with snide, though affectionate, digs at her far more successful brother. Her parents split when she was very young, and she seems to have spent the years since then in a flailing hunt for love. She had a chaotic-sounding adolescence and young adulthood, involving lots of drugs and catting around and plenty of bungled opportunities in her career. Marriage and motherhood saw her settling some, but there was an acrimonious split and ongoing drama with raising her boys. One startling revelation was that mother Kate never seemed fully OK with Rufus being gay, even though it didn’t harm their relationship. Martha says the memoir was many years in the making, with many fits and starts (an early draft was used as evidence against her in her divorce, so that—no wonder—stopped the writing for a while), and it took the forced inactivity of the early pandemic for her to get it down. Entertaining enough, but you probably need to be a fan of the music to really get into it.
Born to folk singers/songwriters, Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III, Canadian singer Martha and her brother Rufus certainly remained in the circus. In Stories I Might Regret Telling You, there is plenty of family drama, personal struggles and music. Both siblings are gifted artists, with Rufus being a bit more well known here in the USA. I actually enjoyed the honest insight into Martha’s life and the sibling rivalry, admiration of her famous older brother, the need to find her way out of his shadow but the real story was her upbringing, the relationship with each parent, and her own future love life. After a rocky marriage, her parents divorced, and Martha lived mostly with her mother in their native Montreal, visiting her father in New York, sometimes in London. There was a distance, emotionally, between she and her father, Loudon, but when it came to her mother, she says ‘there were scenes’. Certainly, Martha and Rufus grew up in an unconventional household. Oversharing, breaking parenting rules, a much more bohemian upbringing that while frustrating and hurtful could also be magical. No doubt the people who came and went influenced her future career.
Martha holds her own, and while she and Rufus work together in the industry, the biggest influence seems to be her mother Kate, on both of them but in completely different ways. Growing up, she often felt mediocre in her mother’s eyes but she didn’t seem to have the big, hungry ambition that came naturally to Rufus. Rufus seemed to be adored by their mother Kate, leaving Martha to feel like an outsider at times. Certainly, as business goes, she wasn’t one to mold herself into what commercial success requires and as a daughter of famous musicians, her journey seems to be a lot harder than sons of rock royalty. Her father, ‘often retreated when he was most needed’, and the pain of such neglect and often cold comments, certainly comes across in this memoir. Loudon, as a songwriter, certainly expressed himself in his art, painful words in his song lyrics, exposing how he feels about his children, how could a heart not harden against such mean, raw honesty, and be left reeling in agony? It isn’t a book of whining, more a purging of past hurts. She certainly admits her own faults and weaknesses while sharing the rise of her own star, choosing not to be eclipsed by her brother, whom she absolutely loves. There are stories of her performances, sacrifices, her friendship with Lorca Cohen (Leonard’s daughter) that soured, deaths, births, drugs, marriage, building a family, and a stream of heartbreak. All the life experiences that make for good songs.
Martha is a force herself, sharing her journey of self-discovery, and the devastation of losing her mother; a moment that taught her how much she loved and needed Kate, despite their differences. The timing was incredibly hard, as at the time she was coping with pregnancy and the birth of a child who had serious health struggles. This memoir is a reckoning with the past, and a dream for the future, one filled with her children and blooming love, while still untangling herself from her own broken marriage to her sons’ father. As the books comes to the end, we find Martha growing older, accepting herself more, and coming to terms with the distance between she and her father. There is so much she learned from her mother, things meant, likely, to toughen her up for the life she has chosen. Her father has left her with advice too, even if he and his children struggle to connect, heal. Always there will be music- it is in her blood, it is how she communicates to the world and her story certainly isn’t over. This memoir is an engaging read about the rise of talented Martha Wainwright, who has released critically acclaimed albums and is a star in her own right!
Interesting read about growing up in a musical family. Artists are different in their approach to life, and to families. And Martha’s family is no different. Growing up the daughter of Loudon Wainwright the third and Kate McGarrigle and the sister of Rufus Wainwright must have made it difficult to realize your own talent and also to figure out who you are. However, she’s an honest writer and a truth teller, and this makes the book more interesting.
Heartbreaking and heartwarming. Interesting and frustrating. I sympathize with Martha and am also a bit angry with her. I do not regret reading this book, I was in fact quite captivated by it, and it made me think and feel a lot of different things. But I understand why Martha chose this title...
My eldest son bought me this autobiography by Martha Wainwright, as I am a bit of a fan of both her and Rufus’s music and he thought it would be something that would interest me and how right he was. Martha is the daughter of musicians Loudon Wainwright III and Kate McGarrigle and her older sibling is Rufus Wainwright. Martha describes her complex upbringing with her parents, who had separated, with her mother living in Montreal and her father in New York and how she lived with each while growing up. She has a large extended family, a lot of whom were also musicians and it was probably predictable that she would follow the family tradition but this path was fraught with jealousy and rivalry between her, her brother and even her parents to a certain extent. Although she deals with the musical side of her life, it takes a bit of a backseat to her private life, as she describes the complicated relationships with the men in her life and also with her mother. Martha is extremely open regarding her (mis)behaviour and her relationships and I found her writing to be very honest, moving and also very harrowing, especially when dealing with the premature birth of her son Arc and the difficult subsequent decisions she made regarding her family. A real soul bearing autobiography that is not only enjoyable for the reader but possibly also cathartic for Martha herself.
A great collection of stories from Canadian singer/songwriter Martha Wainwright. In this book Martha covers growing up in the shadow of famous musician parents, life as a child of divorced parents and cracking into the music business in the wake of her brother's success. She also covers in detail relationship disasters and her drug and alcohol abuse in her teens and 20s.
For me the best parts of the book were the stories about her journey with motherhood (her first son came early), her mother's death from cancer and the breakup of her marriage. The author isn't afraid to get very vulnerable and honest and for that made the stories that much more relatable. Great on audio read by the author herself. If you're a fan of Wainwright you definitely don't want to miss this one!
As a longtime fan of Martha Wainwright, I really enjoyed this audiobook, narrated by Martha herself. Some wonderful stories and insights into her career, relationships, and views.
The McGarrigles and Roches were a major part of my childhood's soundtrack, and when I began choosing my own music I came to love all of the second generation songwriters in the family. Of all of them though, Martha was my favorite. This might not be the most elegantly edited memoir, but I've been wanting to hear more from Martha Wainwright for years and, perhaps not surprisingly, she doesn't hold back. Like her music, this is probably not for everyone and it is decidedly not uplifting, but this is a book I've been hoping to read for a long time and I loved it.
Loved it and related to this memoir an uncomfortable amount, we are certainly cut from similar cloth. I could be in worse company! Cheers to growing past the insecurities, boy craziness, searching for validation while still being doggedly determined to do it your way or the highway… screaming through the pain on stage until you arrive at a place you can breathe. Bravo.
Not surprisingly, I found this book on the shelf at my friend Margery’s. If memory serves me correctly, the last time I saw Martha Wainwright was at Margery’s house. Martha and I are not friends – we don’t really know each other. But there are no degrees of separation where some of our circles of friends intersect. That’s the main reason why I borrowed the book. I also like her singing, and I grew up on the music of her parents and family. For me, Stories I Might Regret Telling You feels a bit like looking through the keyhole of a neighbour one doesn’t know well, but knows some of their friends. One of Martha’s best friends is part of a family I often referred to as my favourite. I wanted to be like them, I wished my parents has been like her parents – easy to talk to, about anything – friends as much as they were parents, fun, smart, witty and excellent cooks. They were part of Martha’s world. Martha, her family, and our related circles were and remain a big part of why Montreal remains my favourite city on the planet (big, words, I know, but I think I have travelled enough and lived long enough in many different places on the globe to make the odd sweeping statement). Where ever I live, and I’ve lived more of my life outside Montreal than in, Montreal will remain my true home. Why say all of this in a supposed review of Martha’s book? The impression I got while reading her is that she feels the same way. Stories I Might Regret Telling You is what wearing your heart on your sleeve means. I’d like to have the courage to do the same. Perhaps singer-songwriters are simply better at vocalising their laundry – clean and dirty, to a wider audience. The world would probably be a better place if more of us did so. Martha is that increasingly rare commodity that calls things as she sees them. If warts were words, this book is a forest of warts. Some warts are worth keeping.
Je viens de terminer ma lecture. J’ai des raisons très personnelles d’être émue par ce livre. D’abord, je me suis beaucoup reconnue dans l’auteure, même si ma famille et mon entourage ne sont pas peuplés de musiciens talentueux et ardents 🙂. La Martha émotive, intense, en quête d’un sens à sa vie et de sa propre essence m’a beaucoup touchée. Je trouve que le livre est à l’image de cette vie tumultueuse, flamboyante et parfois peut-être démesurée. Sinon, ma mère était une immense fan de Kate et Anna McGarrigle. Les chansons de leur premier album ont littéralement bercé mon enfance. Je pense que j’en ai déjà parlé, l’auteure de mes jours était atteinte d’une maladie dégénérative. Tous les passages où elle décrit la maladie qui ronge Kate, le deuil de tous les instants qui commence alors que celle-ci est encore en vie… plus d’une fois, j’ai eu envie de pleurer en lisant. Aussi, le passage où elle décrit la symbolique derrière la chanson Proserpina, mon dieu que c’était émouvant. Et finalement, un passage m’a atteinte droit au cœur. Je ne mérite pas de téléthon, mais j’ai eu mon lot d’épreuves, et j’adore la fougue et la détermination qui s’en dégagent: «I’m a fucking Hydra. Arrachez-moi la tête, et je m’en ferai pousser une neuve.»
Generations of Canadian children grew up with the fierce harmonies of Kate & Anna McGarrigle’s “Log Driver’s Waltz” burned into our brains thanks to one of the National Film Board’s most requested cartoons, so I guess our interest in Kate’s progeny has the deepest of roots. This family is to Canada what maple syrup is to pancakes. Essential. Martha Wainright (sister to Rufus, daughter of London Wainright III and stepsister of Lucy Roche) is arguably more talented than all of them - with one of the most soulful and distinctive voices I’ve ever heard. She doesn’t just sing, she channels the underworld. This book is her first foray into memoir, and I bought it before seeing her perform at New York’s City Winery. She writes like she speaks - with humour and honesty and quite a lot of disgression. You can’t help but love her and root for her, even when it’s clear to the reader - and to her - that she’s often self-sabotaging.
I think I am going to stop reading autobiographies / memoirs because they are normally by people you admire, revere or are interested in and often when I finish I feel less enamoured . They say you should never meet your heroes and I think that is true . Form your own opinions and myths and who cares if they are wide of the mark? I am not even sure I understand the motivation to bare all - perhaps to set the record straight but again what price enigma or mystique? It is not for me to comment on the content of the book because it is a thumbnail sketch of how someone has chosen to live their life mixed with choices that were forced upon her, warts and all but I was left with the feeling that I would rather just stick to the music and imagine the rest . I can only liken It to finding out that Bruce Springsteen can’t drive .
I was really looking forward to reading this memoir. As a fan of both Martha and her bro Rufus, I expected all sorts of adventures and insights from one of the more daring artists that I listen to. Unfortunately, Stories I Might Regret Telling You fell short and it went from being a fun account of Martha's youth and upbringing, to what felt all too often like someone on trial defending previous actions and lashing out at people with no sense of balance or fairness. It is clear that the last few years have been an enormous challenge and it takes strength to overcome some of the obstacles that Martha was faced with. I appreciate that but feel this memoir was more of an opportunity to vent and air dirty laundry which is a shame considering how much there is to be thankful for at the end of the day.
I am not sure when I bought my first Martha Wainwright album, but I do now have a collection of her work. I did get to see her perform in Newcastle NSW in 2013 and yes it was a wonderful concert. I got to speak with her and grabbed a photo, and yes, she is a wonderful person. In 2008 I got to see Loudon Wainwright and his daughter Lucy at the Blue Mountains Music Festival. I have never seen Rufus but do love his music. Martha has certainly exposed her inner life and soul in this book. Some parts are quite emotional, especially the account of her mother’s (Kate McGarrigle) death and the birth of her first child, Arcangelo. For such a talented person she was so full of doubts about herself and when you read of the comments her parents, ex-husband and brother made you can understand why. In recent years she has gone through a distinctly unpleasant divorce. I know it is only her side of the story but, Ben Albetta (ex-husband) sounds like a jerk extraordinaire. She mentions many of the great performers she has worked with and vividly describes the drug and booze scene that accompanies the modern music scene, She does not discuss individual songs and give detailed descriptions of her concerts. She does mention my country, Australia, and how much she loves and appreciates the place. This book was an interesting read. I am not sure why she wrote it at her midlife point but I am glad she did. Now I will go away and search though my vast uncategorized CD collection to find and play Martha.
I quite enjoyed this. I'm not the biggest fan of Martha Wainwright, but do recall I enjoyed seeing her as support act at a gig in 2004 which my cousin got me a ticket for (for all that I appreciate Rufus Wainwright is a talented musician, I'm not a fan of his music) and bought and appreciated her album a year or so later. Hence I wasn't massively sure what to expect here, or how interesting I would find her autobiography, but found for a couple of quid from a charity shop it seemed worth a punt.
There's a refreshing candour about this. You never get the impression that the author is being anything but frank and honest, is drastically editing her life or being unjustly selective about what she includes - and this and her uncomplicated writing style made for a very readable memoir. Sad in places, slightly difficult to keep track of family and friends at times, regrettably too there was much more about her adult life than childhood (I generally enjoy the 'formative years' aspects of autobiographies more than the sometimes slightly name-dropping professional adult parts) and parts reminded me just how conventional and non-artistic in temperament I am. However, an interesting and thought-provoking book overall.
I knew of the author, Martha Wainwright, from the song Set Fire to the Third Bar with Snow Patrol. I suppose I might have listened to Rufus first, but it didn’t factor into my appreciation of her ability. When I saw this book for review on NetGalley, I was curious. I love memoirs and I was intrigued by the synopsis of her story and the title is, of course, titillating. The cover photo even more so. I knew nothing of Martha’s parents or their music, but the promise of insight into growing up in a musical family was appealing. The book is raw and we’re exploring Martha’s tumultuous relationships with her family. It’s an exploration in family dynamics, coming of age, growing into your talent and desires, her missteps, her vices, and reconciliations, betrayals, and loads of exploration of self, how one is shaped by parents, sibling rivalries, friendships and loss. It has all the great elements of a fantastic memoir. At times, there is self-pity and self-indulgence, but isn’t that part of experience, experimentation and growing? I loved it.
J’hésite à mettre 5 étoiles, mais who cares. J’avais entendu une entrevue avec Fanny Britt et Martha Wainwright. J’ai acheté le livre quelques jours plus tard sans grandes attentes - je ne suis pas une grande fan de la musique de Martha, bien que son premier album ait marqué le début de ma 20aine. J’apprécie le travail de Fanny Britt alors j’y voyais une belle occasion.
J’ai dévoré, j’ai tout aimé. J’y retrouve un Montréal que je ne connais peu, une réflexion riche sur la famille, l’amour et la création dans tout ce qu’ils ont de destructeur, salvateur et inachevé. J’apprécie les aller-retours, les contradictions de ces mémoires, j’admire son accessibilité.
For me, this book is 5-star hands down! A compelling talent-driven memoir. Raw in places, touching in others. In an outpouring of honesty, Wainwright exposes great vulnerability with her intriguing self-deprecating comments, and frequent heartache. A singer/musician, she took her talent 'on the road', and she sang all over the world. She partied, she loved, she felt great loss and at the same time, family structure meant everything to her. Famous people suffer 'slings and arrows' too. Out of respect for Martha, I am not mentioning her sibling. But she admits they have great love and respect for each other. I would definitely read a 'part two' memoir! Great cover, also! Makes for an cool artsy display on the shelf. Yes, even with the cigarette.' A timeless effect.
au départ, j’ai lu une partie du livre et j’ai ensuite mis la main sur le livre audio. alors 5 étoiles pour le livre et sa traduction mais j’en ajoute tout un tas pour l’audio. la voix de martha, les fluctuations d’émotions tout au long de ses confidences me la font aimer encore plus.
cette femme n’est pas banale, un talent fou. en spectacle, les moments entre ses chansons sont aussi passionnants que les pièces elles-mêmes et c’est ce que j’ai retrouvé dans cette bio.
et si comme moi vous êtes fan, elle participe au podcast de dominic tardif et c’est fameux.
Started out rocky, but once I was in I was ALL IN. Brutal and honest. It is less about music or a love of music or even her own music and more about what it's like to grow up in a very famous family and how shitty it can be to have artistic, self-involved parents.
Ouf! Quelle vie! Certains ont des destins hors du commun, et celui de Martha s’avère particulier. J’ai beaucoup apprécié cette lecture. Et je me suis remise à écouter ses chansons avec, désormais en tête, un aperçu de tout ce qui se joue en coulisses et que l’on ne soupçonne pas…
Again, hard to review a memoir, as it is their life. However I will say, I enjoy Martha's music, and it was interesting to read her story. Heavy and deep.
Blisteringly honest. Wow! What a life she has lived (so far). As Jann Arden said in her review of this book, I too, cannot wait to read volume two. Martha Wainwright is one ballsy woman!