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Wedded Wife: A Feminist History of Marriage
In this fascinating and insightful book, feminist curator Rachael Lennon provides an intimate and intersectional examination of the history of marriage around the world.
In this fascinating feminist history, Rachael Lennon tells a remarkable story of how this institution has developed from the ancient customs of the stone age through to the modern form it takes today.
In this eminently readable and relatable study, Lennon also explores themes such as the pressure to marry, the politics surrounding proposals, the spectacle of marriage, the business behind it, and the politics tied to consummation as well as issues such as taking a man’s name, the nuances of marriage vows and obedience, ‘having it all’ and trying to keep up the fight to have an enduring marriage.
Having married her wife just a few years after the legalisation of same sex marriage in the United Kingdom, Lennon interweaves her own personal experiences of marriage with stories and anecdotes from throughout history to explore how marriage has transformed over the years.
In shaking off patriarchal expectations, Rachael examines marriage’s troubling past and celebrates a more joyful present, celebrating the feminist activists who have fought to make marriage a pure and equitable celebration of love, open to everyone regardless of gender or sexuality.
She also asks what compels us to keep making this choice? Can we let go of the gendered baggage that we have inherited? Can we hold true to feminist values as we commit to our partners? And what does that look like? How can we build on the past to continue to redefine marriage for the future?
In this fascinating feminist history, Rachael Lennon tells a remarkable story of how this institution has developed from the ancient customs of the stone age through to the modern form it takes today.
In this eminently readable and relatable study, Lennon also explores themes such as the pressure to marry, the politics surrounding proposals, the spectacle of marriage, the business behind it, and the politics tied to consummation as well as issues such as taking a man’s name, the nuances of marriage vows and obedience, ‘having it all’ and trying to keep up the fight to have an enduring marriage.
Having married her wife just a few years after the legalisation of same sex marriage in the United Kingdom, Lennon interweaves her own personal experiences of marriage with stories and anecdotes from throughout history to explore how marriage has transformed over the years.
In shaking off patriarchal expectations, Rachael examines marriage’s troubling past and celebrates a more joyful present, celebrating the feminist activists who have fought to make marriage a pure and equitable celebration of love, open to everyone regardless of gender or sexuality.
She also asks what compels us to keep making this choice? Can we let go of the gendered baggage that we have inherited? Can we hold true to feminist values as we commit to our partners? And what does that look like? How can we build on the past to continue to redefine marriage for the future?
256 pages, Hardcover
First published June 20, 2023
27 people are currently reading
1084 people want to read
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August 28, 2023I wanted to learn more about the history of marriage in order to arm myself with better explanations when I’m asked if I want to get married, and my “no” invites a barrage of questions. Sometimes my lack of desire to be wed seems like a personal affront to people. I wanted to be able to better explain my position, without shitting on something that is momentous for others.
The clarity I found was that “no” is enough of an answer. But this book did reinforce what I knew about my feelings. There are many factors in my stance, ranging from the personal to the political, but it is 100% not just because my parents are divorced 😂 The amount of times this has been the immediate next sentence following my “no” is outrageous! Marriage has just never been something I wanted. I’m lucky to have found, for now (that’s not pessimistic it’s just statistically realistic!), a steady love. What I have right now is enough for me and I’m glad I have the privilege of choice.
I now feel very prepared for the inevitable Christmas lunch conversation this year 🤠
The clarity I found was that “no” is enough of an answer. But this book did reinforce what I knew about my feelings. There are many factors in my stance, ranging from the personal to the political, but it is 100% not just because my parents are divorced 😂 The amount of times this has been the immediate next sentence following my “no” is outrageous! Marriage has just never been something I wanted. I’m lucky to have found, for now (that’s not pessimistic it’s just statistically realistic!), a steady love. What I have right now is enough for me and I’m glad I have the privilege of choice.
I now feel very prepared for the inevitable Christmas lunch conversation this year 🤠
May 7, 2023
thanks to the publisher and netgalley for a free copy in return for an open and honest review.
This is an interesting feminist critique of marriage which examines history of marriage and it being male centric and a different viewpoint of view of what marriage could mean now in the early 21st century . well worth reading
This is an interesting feminist critique of marriage which examines history of marriage and it being male centric and a different viewpoint of view of what marriage could mean now in the early 21st century . well worth reading
April 24, 2023
This was super interesting and enjoyable & made me re-examine why I want to do certain things when I get married
March 17, 2023
This was a very interesting book about the history of marriage across most of the world, giving various examples ranging from Ancient Greece and Rome to present times. The book explores societal expectations and pressure on women to marry, queer marriages (including queer people entering heterosexual marriages throughout history for protection), ages of consent, arranged marriages and much more.
I was familiar with most of the information here already, but it was nice to have everything organized and the author also provides numbers and statistics to back up the research. The writing is accessible and straight to the point, so everyone will be able to read it quickly and understand what the author is presenting.
I would recommend this book. I found it on NetGalley and fortunately was able to read it because it didn't require going through an approval process (very grareful for this).
I was familiar with most of the information here already, but it was nice to have everything organized and the author also provides numbers and statistics to back up the research. The writing is accessible and straight to the point, so everyone will be able to read it quickly and understand what the author is presenting.
I would recommend this book. I found it on NetGalley and fortunately was able to read it because it didn't require going through an approval process (very grareful for this).
November 11, 2023
This book is very in-depth and well researched. Given the history of patriarchal legacies of wedding practices where women are the ones who suffer most, WHY DO MOST PEOPLE STILL HAVE WEDDINGS AS A MILESTONE IN LIFE?
The author takes the reader through the evolution of weddings, from the living room home or jumping the broom weddings to Gretna Green, Tower of London and Queen Victoria’s influence over weddings and present day where some countries “allow” same sex and transgender union.
My takeaway message from the book is - European colonialism systematically shutdown and buried A LOT of wedding traditions including same sex and trans that were normal unions all over the globe in different cultures before the 16th century. A broad and diverse wedding traditions were lost because of European imperialism.
The author takes the reader through the evolution of weddings, from the living room home or jumping the broom weddings to Gretna Green, Tower of London and Queen Victoria’s influence over weddings and present day where some countries “allow” same sex and transgender union.
My takeaway message from the book is - European colonialism systematically shutdown and buried A LOT of wedding traditions including same sex and trans that were normal unions all over the globe in different cultures before the 16th century. A broad and diverse wedding traditions were lost because of European imperialism.
March 10, 2025
Kinda strayed away from the topic at times but overall still quite interesting. I recommend the audiobook
August 12, 2024
This book is a really fascinating and insightful journey through the history of marriage, intertwined with social and feminist issues. I felt it was inclusive and intersectional showing the differences and similarities between cultures and perspectives.
It was really well-researched and wove into it a semi-biographical perspective of the author which I enjoyed. At times I was angry and sad about how our rights as women are effectively brand new in history and still under threat, but I was left on a positive note regarding the relatively newly formed concept of marriage as a conscious, mindful decision and commitment of love.
I would recommend to anyone, especially as a comprehensive overview of feminist and LGBTQ+ issues.
It was really well-researched and wove into it a semi-biographical perspective of the author which I enjoyed. At times I was angry and sad about how our rights as women are effectively brand new in history and still under threat, but I was left on a positive note regarding the relatively newly formed concept of marriage as a conscious, mindful decision and commitment of love.
I would recommend to anyone, especially as a comprehensive overview of feminist and LGBTQ+ issues.
April 2, 2023
Review to come
April 24, 2023
3.5⭐️ Finished this last night and it was a very nice introduction into the constructs of marriage using an intersectional approach! It touched upon ancient customs, the widespread effect of colonialism on marriage, as well as difficulties faced by the LGBTQ+ community.
Really great book that covers an array of topies, but was quite surface level at times so the chapter were quite light.
However, this would be a great intro into the topic if you're just getting into feminist discourse.
However, the one thing that really confused me was that the author spoke a lot about trans people and how they’re disproportionately effected, but then used known TERFs within her book, like right beside those discussions. That made me feel a little weird but I hope it’s just an accident - but I don’t know it just was a bit of jumpscare.
Really great book that covers an array of topies, but was quite surface level at times so the chapter were quite light.
However, this would be a great intro into the topic if you're just getting into feminist discourse.
However, the one thing that really confused me was that the author spoke a lot about trans people and how they’re disproportionately effected, but then used known TERFs within her book, like right beside those discussions. That made me feel a little weird but I hope it’s just an accident - but I don’t know it just was a bit of jumpscare.
March 24, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and Quarto for the e-ARC.
I think I've read enough books about marriage now! This is a primarily very informative book about the history of marriage and hits on aspects of proposal/wedding/marriage and how they've developed over the centuries mainly in the West, briefly touching on other cultures too. I thought it was interesting and appreciated the inclusivity in the book for LGBT+ people - the author is a queer woman and she mentions the fact trans people can't legally marry under their gender, and non-binary people don't have their gender legally recognised at all. Of the topics it did cover they were quite comprehensive and included a lot of facts I hadn't known before, and they were delivered in an engaging way.
That being said - I've read more insightful and reflective books about marriage as an institution and also thought this book failed in some ways to be an all-encompassing history. It failed to mention the affect marriage can have on disabled people (removal of benefits due to combining of household income, essentially freezing disabled people on benefits out of the institution), and also the entire topic of divorce. Considering a significant proportion of marriages end in divorce this seems like an oversight, especially considering the financial implications which often keep people trapped in marriages unable to afford divorce. I also personally didn't really think she sold the aspect of marriage as an institution being one worth fighting for - though I came into this book with my own biases. If you want a history of certain aspects of marriage this is a good read, for anything more reflective I'd recommend something different.
I think I've read enough books about marriage now! This is a primarily very informative book about the history of marriage and hits on aspects of proposal/wedding/marriage and how they've developed over the centuries mainly in the West, briefly touching on other cultures too. I thought it was interesting and appreciated the inclusivity in the book for LGBT+ people - the author is a queer woman and she mentions the fact trans people can't legally marry under their gender, and non-binary people don't have their gender legally recognised at all. Of the topics it did cover they were quite comprehensive and included a lot of facts I hadn't known before, and they were delivered in an engaging way.
That being said - I've read more insightful and reflective books about marriage as an institution and also thought this book failed in some ways to be an all-encompassing history. It failed to mention the affect marriage can have on disabled people (removal of benefits due to combining of household income, essentially freezing disabled people on benefits out of the institution), and also the entire topic of divorce. Considering a significant proportion of marriages end in divorce this seems like an oversight, especially considering the financial implications which often keep people trapped in marriages unable to afford divorce. I also personally didn't really think she sold the aspect of marriage as an institution being one worth fighting for - though I came into this book with my own biases. If you want a history of certain aspects of marriage this is a good read, for anything more reflective I'd recommend something different.
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May 28, 2023As someone who is critical of the institution of marriage, I really enjoyed this one. I loved reading about the history of marriage, and the origin of so many wedding traditions. It was so interesting to learn about the way marriage changed throughout history.
I do feel like the book is a little too optimistic about marriage in the present day, however. While it acknowledges the disadvantages of wives in our current society, marriage is highlighted as a choice in our present day. While we do have so much more freedoms now as opposed to the past, I feel like this glosses over the societal pressure many women still face with regards to getting married.
In a lot of cultures especially, if you don’t get married by a certain age, you may be ostracized and looked down upon. All of this can push women into marriages that they don’t want.
Overall though I did really enjoy this and it was definitely a great read.
I do feel like the book is a little too optimistic about marriage in the present day, however. While it acknowledges the disadvantages of wives in our current society, marriage is highlighted as a choice in our present day. While we do have so much more freedoms now as opposed to the past, I feel like this glosses over the societal pressure many women still face with regards to getting married.
In a lot of cultures especially, if you don’t get married by a certain age, you may be ostracized and looked down upon. All of this can push women into marriages that they don’t want.
Overall though I did really enjoy this and it was definitely a great read.
Read
July 28, 2023If you are interested in the Western history of marriage, Wedded Wife is a good book as it covered the US and the UK primarily. The focus is on the Christian and modern world. The book covers most of the aspects around marriage and weddings through research, personal examples, stories and commentary on the state of the world, historical and present. It may be a valuable resource for same-sex and LGBTQ+ couples as the challenges they may encounter are openly discussed in this book.
I did not realize how much there was to know about marriages, though it makes sense because it is a relationship that people have been entering into for centuries, across the world, across cultures. Wedded Wife takes a deep dive into the history and development of marriage, its societal pressures and implications as well as the struggles that LGBTQ+ couples face. This is a well-researched book. I have not come across such a thorough work about this topic before, but I also haven’t been interested in it as much until I got married myself. In some accounts that Rachael shared, I found it extremely uncomfortable to learn how much the government was involved in people’s private affairs. From the book, I gathered that the British government essentially disowned its own women citizens who chose to marry someone from outside their country from the 1910s to 1940s… wow. However, looking into the British Nationality and Status of Aliens Act 1914, women did not automatically lose their citizenship according to Part III 10(2). Phew.
Same-sex marriages and their legal standing is explored in detail throughout the book. It is heartbreaking that some places around the world still do not consider these are true marriages and how recent the shift in perspective has been. At the same time, it is heartwarming that people have continued to pursue love inspite of what society says. It takes courage and I am glad more stories are resurfacing.
It was good to see cultures from other places in the world mentioned, though sporadically. I would have liked a few more details around the specific ways in which colonization affected marriage in colonized places like India that already had their own solid beliefs and traditions, as well as the effect on indigenous people.
As people in the modern era in places and cultures where love is given priority and more and more people chose to experience living together before they tie the knot, this feels like this is the most free and accepting we have ever been. It’s not a perfect world. Marriages are multifaceted and we still have a long way to go for an inclusive society. But we are trying and bringing awareness where we can.
Wedded Wife set out to do a lot and while it is inclusive in writing about LGBTQ+ and non-binary folks, it does not talk about all the challenges that come with being a women who chose to get married. A reviewer on Goodreads rightly pointed out that the book did not do justice to the experience of disabled people. As a feminist history, I would expect at least something about the life of disabled women over the time period covered. Also, divorce was glanced over in this book. The challenges that people face after a divorce is not just limited to legal access to the children.
Overall, Wedded Wife offers a lot to think about. What was eye-opening to me as I read this book was marriage is a layered affair, and based on who we are, the time we live in, we are exposed to some of those layers. I appreciated the effort that went into putting together this book and enjoyed it.
Many thanks to the publisher and Random Things Tours for providing me a review copy of the book for an honest review.
Check out the detailed review and author interview on my blog. :)
- Kriti, Armed with A Book | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
I did not realize how much there was to know about marriages, though it makes sense because it is a relationship that people have been entering into for centuries, across the world, across cultures. Wedded Wife takes a deep dive into the history and development of marriage, its societal pressures and implications as well as the struggles that LGBTQ+ couples face. This is a well-researched book. I have not come across such a thorough work about this topic before, but I also haven’t been interested in it as much until I got married myself. In some accounts that Rachael shared, I found it extremely uncomfortable to learn how much the government was involved in people’s private affairs. From the book, I gathered that the British government essentially disowned its own women citizens who chose to marry someone from outside their country from the 1910s to 1940s… wow. However, looking into the British Nationality and Status of Aliens Act 1914, women did not automatically lose their citizenship according to Part III 10(2). Phew.
Same-sex marriages and their legal standing is explored in detail throughout the book. It is heartbreaking that some places around the world still do not consider these are true marriages and how recent the shift in perspective has been. At the same time, it is heartwarming that people have continued to pursue love inspite of what society says. It takes courage and I am glad more stories are resurfacing.
It was good to see cultures from other places in the world mentioned, though sporadically. I would have liked a few more details around the specific ways in which colonization affected marriage in colonized places like India that already had their own solid beliefs and traditions, as well as the effect on indigenous people.
As people in the modern era in places and cultures where love is given priority and more and more people chose to experience living together before they tie the knot, this feels like this is the most free and accepting we have ever been. It’s not a perfect world. Marriages are multifaceted and we still have a long way to go for an inclusive society. But we are trying and bringing awareness where we can.
Wedded Wife set out to do a lot and while it is inclusive in writing about LGBTQ+ and non-binary folks, it does not talk about all the challenges that come with being a women who chose to get married. A reviewer on Goodreads rightly pointed out that the book did not do justice to the experience of disabled people. As a feminist history, I would expect at least something about the life of disabled women over the time period covered. Also, divorce was glanced over in this book. The challenges that people face after a divorce is not just limited to legal access to the children.
Overall, Wedded Wife offers a lot to think about. What was eye-opening to me as I read this book was marriage is a layered affair, and based on who we are, the time we live in, we are exposed to some of those layers. I appreciated the effort that went into putting together this book and enjoyed it.
Many thanks to the publisher and Random Things Tours for providing me a review copy of the book for an honest review.
Check out the detailed review and author interview on my blog. :)
- Kriti, Armed with A Book | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
May 28, 2023
This was an interesting feminist critique of marriage, as it currently exists and its history of existence. The author, Rachael Lennon, wrote “this book emerged as an interrogation of my own decision to marry”, and that I can certainly agree with.
The book covers many topics of marriage from “tradition” and same sex marriage to divorce and consent. It does cover a lot, but it does this in a well thought out, well written way.
Lennon credits the wide range of “personal collection of stories” “to so many specialists, researchers, historians, academics, curators and archivists who have worked for years to explore, uncover and shine new light on these past lives”. This makes for fascinating reading and towards the end portrays a very important message of the future of marriage and the use of “traditional” as “the last defence of the indefensible” which seems like a particularly prominent statement in the current times. The appreciation of this sentiment was not lost of me, and there are plenty of people out there who would do well to listen and learn from that.
This book was not perfect for me, at times I felt like we were trying to meet a word count (putting it bluntly). I think these sections dragged a bit where messages were being reinforced that had already been conveyed, these could have been shortened but that is just my opinion.
I do recommend this book as an interesting introduction to the constructs of Marriage, its history and how with this knowledge you can make your own choices and decisions regarding your own approach to marriage.
The book covers many topics of marriage from “tradition” and same sex marriage to divorce and consent. It does cover a lot, but it does this in a well thought out, well written way.
Lennon credits the wide range of “personal collection of stories” “to so many specialists, researchers, historians, academics, curators and archivists who have worked for years to explore, uncover and shine new light on these past lives”. This makes for fascinating reading and towards the end portrays a very important message of the future of marriage and the use of “traditional” as “the last defence of the indefensible” which seems like a particularly prominent statement in the current times. The appreciation of this sentiment was not lost of me, and there are plenty of people out there who would do well to listen and learn from that.
This book was not perfect for me, at times I felt like we were trying to meet a word count (putting it bluntly). I think these sections dragged a bit where messages were being reinforced that had already been conveyed, these could have been shortened but that is just my opinion.
I do recommend this book as an interesting introduction to the constructs of Marriage, its history and how with this knowledge you can make your own choices and decisions regarding your own approach to marriage.
June 8, 2023
J’ai beaucoup aimé ce livre, même plus que ce je m’attendais.
L’autrice nous explique les évolutions du mariage à travers l’histoire, notamment dans les pays anglophones, passant par les caractéristiques de nombreuses religions.
L’intersectionnalité est mise en lumière, chose importante car beaucoup d’histoires matrimoniales sont à propos de femmes blanches hétérosexuelles aisées.
Il y a une véritable réflexion quant aux origines des traditions, la dimension légale du mariage ainsi que ses conséquences sur l’histoire de personnes ayant véritablement existé.
Tout le travail de l’autrice est bien sourcé, gage de fiabilité et de rigueur. Pourtant, la lecture est facile, avec quelques touches d’humour et de légèreté.
Dans l’ensemble, un super livre très intéressant qui donne envie d’approfondir de nombreux sujets
L’autrice nous explique les évolutions du mariage à travers l’histoire, notamment dans les pays anglophones, passant par les caractéristiques de nombreuses religions.
L’intersectionnalité est mise en lumière, chose importante car beaucoup d’histoires matrimoniales sont à propos de femmes blanches hétérosexuelles aisées.
Il y a une véritable réflexion quant aux origines des traditions, la dimension légale du mariage ainsi que ses conséquences sur l’histoire de personnes ayant véritablement existé.
Tout le travail de l’autrice est bien sourcé, gage de fiabilité et de rigueur. Pourtant, la lecture est facile, avec quelques touches d’humour et de légèreté.
Dans l’ensemble, un super livre très intéressant qui donne envie d’approfondir de nombreux sujets
May 5, 2023
Lennon explores the influence of colonialism, misogyny, and LGBTQ+ rhetoric that have shaped marriage today.
It was gripping reading this and seeing both how far we’ve come, and how much there is yet to improve on.
Whilst it deals with a lot of laws and political/monarchy/religious input, it also explores the lives of many in history.
For example, Lennon briefly looks at how Charlotte Brontë’s marriage effects her ownership & right to her texts.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy for review.
TW’s listed below.
Tw// misogyny, age-gaps, child brides, SA, Spousal abuse (descriptions / accounts), abduction, loss of autonomy, patriarchal society, arranged marriage, sex work, abuse of sex workers, suicide/sacrifice (brief mention)
It was gripping reading this and seeing both how far we’ve come, and how much there is yet to improve on.
Whilst it deals with a lot of laws and political/monarchy/religious input, it also explores the lives of many in history.
For example, Lennon briefly looks at how Charlotte Brontë’s marriage effects her ownership & right to her texts.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy for review.
TW’s listed below.
Tw// misogyny, age-gaps, child brides, SA, Spousal abuse (descriptions / accounts), abduction, loss of autonomy, patriarchal society, arranged marriage, sex work, abuse of sex workers, suicide/sacrifice (brief mention)
June 21, 2024
*3.75
informative and entertaining (and very very enraging) i also appreciate the inclusivity (usually reading feminist books by white women means i have to prepare myself for pages full of white women problems from a white woman perspective)…i must read books specifically about marriage in islam from a feminist perspective!!!
My only complaint (beside quoting literal war criminals!) is that i got bored near the end (i feel like there were some repetitive ideas in some chapters that made them a bit longer than my liking and made it harder for me to pay attention … but this is just my own preference!!)
informative and entertaining (and very very enraging) i also appreciate the inclusivity (usually reading feminist books by white women means i have to prepare myself for pages full of white women problems from a white woman perspective)…i must read books specifically about marriage in islam from a feminist perspective!!!
My only complaint (beside quoting literal war criminals!) is that i got bored near the end (i feel like there were some repetitive ideas in some chapters that made them a bit longer than my liking and made it harder for me to pay attention … but this is just my own preference!!)
May 2, 2023
I picked up this book in Durham just by chance and it has been brilliant. Not only is it written with a fantastic and clear style, it gives information about marriage that crosses history, cultures, gender and race. A very important study that highlights not only the difficulties women faced and continue to face but also the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community in our modern society. An eye-opener into the world of marriage that doesn’t simply wish to condemn the patriarchy but also seeks to show the complexities of the system we all still want to be a part of and why. It doesn’t shy away from the joys as well as the difficulties faced by couples in history as well as in the modern world. A must read this year!
August 9, 2024
loved this! took me a while to finish (reading slump) but was fascinating. made me think about how i feel about marriage as a concept, socially and legally, and i wonder how it will change in the future.
April 7, 2023
An interesting book that gave historic insight about the evolution of marriage across the world and the meaning of the traditions that most people swear by but most definitely don’t know the origin or full meaning of. I like everything that triggers independent thinking, so if u are into that, pick this one up :)
August 14, 2023
Bloody marvelous. So so many super interesting facts, reflections on marriage and things I hadnt even considered as someone in a hetero presenting relationship!
Read
March 8, 2023I’ve been married for almost twenty years and this title jumped out at me! Many of my friends have discussed how we got here and how difficult marriage can be. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. I found the book concept interesting and it was very helpful to me. The information was well researched and the personal accounts were my favorite part.
April 19, 2023
This is a great look into the history of Western wedding and marriage traditions. Lennon's take is unique, with LGBTQI+ interpretation of Western marriage and coverture. I enjoyed reading Lennon's extensive history on Western weddings and marriage. I was a little disappointed that non-Western weddings and marriage were mostly used as comparisons rather than stand-alone traditions. This is definitely a Western examination of Western traditions. It is still a good and informative book, the title is just misleading. Thanks to Net Galley for the e-ARC.
June 7, 2025
As a May 2026 Bride to be I was eager to give this a read! The book was very well research and offered some insight into where the institution of marriage comes from. Overall I still feel very positive about marriage. Hopeful that one day there is no one entering into it forced and that we find traditions that are truly inclusive
March 14, 2023
3.5 stars
Wedded Wife was a pretty easy and quick read. That’s usually the case when you are on the same page as the author. Right from the Introduction I could tell that Lennon Gets It™, evident through the focus on a broad range of people and cultures (rather than the typical cishet white Christian woman perspective that is usually centered).
I’ve been thinking a lot lately of marriage as the result of social obligation, and this gives me a bit of backing for my theories and thoughts. The author touches on certain obvious aspects of marriage: gender binaries (the enforcing of), necessity & motivations for marriage, power roles in the ‘typical’ marriage.
Understanding that this is shorter text, I still think that Lennon could’ve gotten a little deeper into the topics she brought up. For example, my interest was piqued on discussion of monogamy/ethical non monogamy and would’ve enjoyed a deeper dive.
Overall, an informative read that can lead to further discussion surrounding the institution of marriage. I’ll probably share this with my sister (who is in a pretty typical cishet marriage) and see how it impacts her perspective on too.
Wedded Wife was a pretty easy and quick read. That’s usually the case when you are on the same page as the author. Right from the Introduction I could tell that Lennon Gets It™, evident through the focus on a broad range of people and cultures (rather than the typical cishet white Christian woman perspective that is usually centered).
I’ve been thinking a lot lately of marriage as the result of social obligation, and this gives me a bit of backing for my theories and thoughts. The author touches on certain obvious aspects of marriage: gender binaries (the enforcing of), necessity & motivations for marriage, power roles in the ‘typical’ marriage.
Understanding that this is shorter text, I still think that Lennon could’ve gotten a little deeper into the topics she brought up. For example, my interest was piqued on discussion of monogamy/ethical non monogamy and would’ve enjoyed a deeper dive.
Overall, an informative read that can lead to further discussion surrounding the institution of marriage. I’ll probably share this with my sister (who is in a pretty typical cishet marriage) and see how it impacts her perspective on too.
April 2, 2023
this was an okay read if you have the time. it's presented in a very digestible manner, which made it easy for me to read this in chunks and is good for anyone whose attention span may have deteriorated over the past couple of years, but—to me, at least—the information presented wasn't novel or exciting enough for me to have spent the time i did reading this. it's a concise, well-written nonfiction history of marriage, viewed very much through a feminist and intersectional lens—i just found that i already knew a lot of the information and it wasn't super engaging for me personally. so if you want to learn more about the history of marriage, the roots of marriage and income inequality, as well as the intersection of divorce laws, custody laws, and domestic violence, this is a good book for you.
thank you to netgalley and quarto publishing for the arc in exchange for an honest review!
thank you to netgalley and quarto publishing for the arc in exchange for an honest review!
June 15, 2025
i found it super interesting because it was exactly my vibe - however looking at it objectively, it dealt with the ‘what’ very well, but sometimes missed opportunities to go further than surface level with the ‘why’.
perfectly structured book though - it made so much sense and satisfied a part of my brain i didn’t even know needed it.
perfectly structured book though - it made so much sense and satisfied a part of my brain i didn’t even know needed it.
August 21, 2023
Boring. A couple of good paragraphs towards the end of the book after discussing divorce. I do not recommend it.
October 26, 2023
Still one of my favorite non-fiction books this year.
As a wedding industry supplier in the UK and someone in a non-traditional marriage, I found the book especially fascinating. A lot of my personal icks with the institution have been validated in a concise palatable manner. I definitely can now better articulate why I don't agree with various aspects of weddings (particularly) and marriage.
I was shocked at how many unfair practices changed relatively late. For instance the impact of marrying a non-citizen, the right to your children (!), same-sex marriages... Great reminder of just how "advanced" the UK is lol
I also wish some topics were explored in more depth, such as the non-monogamous marriages/relationships or the intersection of marriage and disability.
I don't know why I waited so long with the review, so I probably don't remember every bit that stood out at the time, but I will definitely re-read this book and that is already worth the 5/5.
There was just one thing I felt lacked a bit of nuance. In the discussion of cost of weddings it seemed like the word "wedding" makes suppliers turn into Scrooges McDucks with dollar signs for eyes. I cannot speak for all suppliers, but as a wedding photographer I have definitely seen and heard a lot of iterations of "y'all are just extorting us for money" and if I had a dollar for every post looking for such and such service that doesn't cost an arm and a leg... Well I'd still be a photographer, but even if I didn't have to worry about money I'd not take on clients that think suppliers shouldn't be paid what they're worth.
Could some people be "overpricing"? Perhaps. But I promise you don't NEED almost anything to get married. I got married for free in the city hall in a 2 euro charity shop dress. The biggest expense was getting a notary sign documents to separate our finances because otherwise in that country your assets become shared the second you get married.
Apart from legal requirements, everything else is purely a want and a luxury, therefore it's perfectly valid for there to be an array of prices and qualities of goods and services. And yeah, hiring someone to provide a service for which they trained for and for which they have plenty of overheads to cover is not going to be cheap, wedding or not. Most suppliers I know will quote the same for a wedding as they would for something else IF the service/goods are the same for both cases. Sometimes weddings require more time/effort/etc and the price will reflect that.
Mini personal rant over, but it still doesn't detract from the book. Highly recommend for anyone even thinking about marriage, women and people in the industry.
As a wedding industry supplier in the UK and someone in a non-traditional marriage, I found the book especially fascinating. A lot of my personal icks with the institution have been validated in a concise palatable manner. I definitely can now better articulate why I don't agree with various aspects of weddings (particularly) and marriage.
I was shocked at how many unfair practices changed relatively late. For instance the impact of marrying a non-citizen, the right to your children (!), same-sex marriages... Great reminder of just how "advanced" the UK is lol
I also wish some topics were explored in more depth, such as the non-monogamous marriages/relationships or the intersection of marriage and disability.
I don't know why I waited so long with the review, so I probably don't remember every bit that stood out at the time, but I will definitely re-read this book and that is already worth the 5/5.
There was just one thing I felt lacked a bit of nuance. In the discussion of cost of weddings it seemed like the word "wedding" makes suppliers turn into Scrooges McDucks with dollar signs for eyes. I cannot speak for all suppliers, but as a wedding photographer I have definitely seen and heard a lot of iterations of "y'all are just extorting us for money" and if I had a dollar for every post looking for such and such service that doesn't cost an arm and a leg... Well I'd still be a photographer, but even if I didn't have to worry about money I'd not take on clients that think suppliers shouldn't be paid what they're worth.
Could some people be "overpricing"? Perhaps. But I promise you don't NEED almost anything to get married. I got married for free in the city hall in a 2 euro charity shop dress. The biggest expense was getting a notary sign documents to separate our finances because otherwise in that country your assets become shared the second you get married.
Apart from legal requirements, everything else is purely a want and a luxury, therefore it's perfectly valid for there to be an array of prices and qualities of goods and services. And yeah, hiring someone to provide a service for which they trained for and for which they have plenty of overheads to cover is not going to be cheap, wedding or not. Most suppliers I know will quote the same for a wedding as they would for something else IF the service/goods are the same for both cases. Sometimes weddings require more time/effort/etc and the price will reflect that.
Mini personal rant over, but it still doesn't detract from the book. Highly recommend for anyone even thinking about marriage, women and people in the industry.
April 20, 2023
I found Wedded Wife by Rachel Lennon a fascinating and feminist journey through history about the changing nature of being a ‘wife’.
I received a copy of this book for a free and unbiased opinion.
The book reviews the history of marriage from a women’s perspective and the author makes this fun and interesting as this could have been a dry subject.
The writing is engaging and interesting with plenty of real-life examples including the author’s own perspective of being a wife in a marriage where there are two wives and how society is adapting to new types of relationships
The author takes us through a few hundred years discussing how the concept and institution have changed through this time and I loved some of the facts that I wasn’t aware of. Such as the differences between classes when it came to marriage a few hundred years ago- I found, interesting, the fact that women from nobility or wealth had to marry for their families' gain had less control over their choice of partners than their working-class sisters. Or the effect of colonisation on cultures that had a matrilineal society and a more woman-friendly approach to marriage ( moulding them into the male-dominated version of themselves).
The book highlights the hard-won rights of women over the centuries- from no longer being viewed as the property of their husbands and having no control over their bodies, money they have earned or children they have born to the rights we have now. I didn’t realise that it was in my lifetime that rape in marriage was criminalised.
.
I would recommend this book to any woman- to appreciate how far we have come with our rights and freedoms and how easily they are threatened or taken away.
I received a copy of this book for a free and unbiased opinion.
The book reviews the history of marriage from a women’s perspective and the author makes this fun and interesting as this could have been a dry subject.
The writing is engaging and interesting with plenty of real-life examples including the author’s own perspective of being a wife in a marriage where there are two wives and how society is adapting to new types of relationships
The author takes us through a few hundred years discussing how the concept and institution have changed through this time and I loved some of the facts that I wasn’t aware of. Such as the differences between classes when it came to marriage a few hundred years ago- I found, interesting, the fact that women from nobility or wealth had to marry for their families' gain had less control over their choice of partners than their working-class sisters. Or the effect of colonisation on cultures that had a matrilineal society and a more woman-friendly approach to marriage ( moulding them into the male-dominated version of themselves).
The book highlights the hard-won rights of women over the centuries- from no longer being viewed as the property of their husbands and having no control over their bodies, money they have earned or children they have born to the rights we have now. I didn’t realise that it was in my lifetime that rape in marriage was criminalised.
.
I would recommend this book to any woman- to appreciate how far we have come with our rights and freedoms and how easily they are threatened or taken away.
April 12, 2023
Rachael’s book is extremely well-researched and full of literary references, court documents and newspaper extracts. She lifts the lid on where various traditions come from, from the expectation to consummate a marriage through to the wearing of a ring. I was shocked to read it in parts. I didn’t know it wasn’t until 1948 that British women were able to retain their nationality in marriage, for example.
Having read my gifted copy, I realise there is so much more bound up in traditions than I realised. Not least is the passive role women often play in wedding ceremonies. If I married again, I think I’d probably say something during the wedding breakfast. Would I still ask my Dad to ‘give me away’? It’s an institution primarily shaped by men, and women have been highlighting this and pushing against it for hundreds of years, their protests often falling on deaf ears. Same-sex marriages have raised awareness and pushed against traditions because when there are two people of the same gender, it becomes much more apparent that the act of marriage can be unequal or unfair towards women. Or what have become ingrained traditions are based on an inequitable past.
Rachael wants to build on the past to redefine marriage for the future. I think women owe it to themselves to understand the traditions and to question some of them. If you want to marry and follow a tradition, that’s great, but do it because you want to, not because it’s expected. And be careful in whose footsteps you tread.
Having read my gifted copy, I realise there is so much more bound up in traditions than I realised. Not least is the passive role women often play in wedding ceremonies. If I married again, I think I’d probably say something during the wedding breakfast. Would I still ask my Dad to ‘give me away’? It’s an institution primarily shaped by men, and women have been highlighting this and pushing against it for hundreds of years, their protests often falling on deaf ears. Same-sex marriages have raised awareness and pushed against traditions because when there are two people of the same gender, it becomes much more apparent that the act of marriage can be unequal or unfair towards women. Or what have become ingrained traditions are based on an inequitable past.
Rachael wants to build on the past to redefine marriage for the future. I think women owe it to themselves to understand the traditions and to question some of them. If you want to marry and follow a tradition, that’s great, but do it because you want to, not because it’s expected. And be careful in whose footsteps you tread.
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