Hot White Heist

by Adam Goldman

Please note: This podcast is intended for adults only. It contains explicit language, sexual references, and adult themes. Discretion is advised.

Deep under Seattle’s Space Needle in a hidden bunker sits the most valuable substance on earth: Barack Obama’s sperm. And Mark Zuckerberg’s. And Stephen Hawking’s. In case of global catastrophe, the US government has been storing sperm samples from some of history’s greatest minds (and also some politicians).

Hot White Heist follows Jude “Judy” Fink (Bowen Yang) and a crew of misfits from across the LGBTQ+ spectrum as they attempt the stickiest heist in history. Why? To help a lesbian cult finance a top-secret project, of course. Featuring an all-star, all-queer cast, Hot White Heist is the first and only podcast about a sperm bank heist. What else do you need to know?

Genres: Audiobook, Fiction, Humor, Comedy, Queer, LGBT, Contemporary

Audible Audio

Published January 1, 2021

Reviews

[Gustaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was seriously hilarious.

[Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

A clever and fun comedically queer radio drama! Bowen Yang is delightful, joined by Mj Rodriguez, Abbi Jacobson, Alan Cumming, Jane Lynch, and more icons. A satire of heist movies with a lot of dirty jokes, this is a fun story to listen to while jogging indeed.

Hope audible and Bowen do more of these in the future...

[Ronie Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much humor

[Tonya Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the first and second presentations of WHITE HOT HEIST. I was laughing throughout with the storyline and the words. It was a funny and interesting story.

[Kitty Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

hilarious fiction podcast story on Audible!

[Gabriel Mero · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm note a huge fan of Bowen Yang -- I think he's kind of a one trick pony, but I loved so many others of the cast: Jonathan Bailey, Bianca Del Rio, Katya, Cynthia Nixon, Jane Lynch...
I liked how cheeky this set was. The writers clearly wanted us to know that this was meant to be a funny, campy adventure. There were several times where I burst out into laughter, which is rare for me. I'm looking forward to season 2.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly, fun, full-cast listen.

[AChui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny and ridiculous.

[Laura May · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've just listened to both series, and they get 5 stars for sheer ridiculousness.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilariously inappropriate!

[Maëla Cyr · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short story was ✨queer chaos ✨

[Kaleb Phillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hilarious, clever, quip a second audio comedy with a phenomenal cast.

I'm so glad I didn't read the synopsis, because the premise reveal damn near knocked me out of my chair.

[Troy Zaher · Rating 5 out of 5]

A queer heist story featuring a lot of big names. It’s mostly comedic, with a lot of inside queer jokes (e.g.“does RuPaul love fracking?” as a way to say yes lol), which often have a larger societal message. The comedy also extends to the premise itself, as the story revolves around stealing sperm from the government for a secret lesbian militant coalition to sell to a foreign government.

But what really sells this story for me are the heist members. All of them are queer, and recruited in the order of “LGBT” (aside from the protag, who’s also gay but recruited first), which I found delightful. Their unique skills are great (a drag queen as a master of disguise is a no-brainer that should be in every heist story). But the getaway driver bisexual couple was what gave this 5stars for me. They just radiate chaotic but chill bisexual vibes and I love them both lol. They have a great loving dynamic that revolves around picking on each other for their faults (eg Sam’s heavy foot, and Ben’s airheadedness), but not in a spiteful bickering way that is a common trope for straight couples in media (cuz queer people don’t hate their spouses). I’d love to see a full length novel for all the heist characters but particularly those two.

[Wide Eyes, Big Ears! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jude “Judy” Fink is inveigled into assembling a crack team of Queer misfits to break into a secret vault containing the sperm of some of America’s most famous people to assist a Lesbian commune in their deal with some sinister Russians.

🎧 This is a 6 x 30 min-episode audio series with a star-studded voice-over cast including Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and Alan Cumming, with Judy played magnificently by Bowen Yang. It’s completely zany and hilariously goofy and the sound effects, songs, and acting are all brilliant! It has the feel of a James Bond spoof, complete with a tongue-in-cheek Shirley Bassey-style title song. None of it is meant to be taken seriously and there are loads of 18+ jokes. I loved every moment except for the occasional uncomfortable sounds of eating, drinking and slurping food (too much for my squeamish ears!). Looking forward to the second series (both of which are free on the Audible Plus catalogue)!!

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is an audible original. It was very clever and meta. It had lots of sexual innuendo and wordplay. It did not take itself too seriously. It was pure brain candy. Lighthearted and lots of fun. It was not deeply moving, life-changing literature. It was cute and fun and silly. Aunt Kate, a lesbian, finds her nephew Jude (pronounced Judy), a gay man who likes to dress in women's clothing (but I don't think they ever said he was transgender) and encouraged him to help her and her "militant cult of lesbians" who wear uniforms but only because they democratically voted to do so and who live in commune in North Dakota to rob the secret government bunker underneath the Space Needle of its collection of sperm to sell to the Russians for money so they can buy a island and call it LESBOS 2. Like I said...silly, funny, pokes fun at itself, clever play on words.

[Justin Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a heist novella or however you wish to view this, it is pretty good. The characters, while not the crowd i identify with, I am all for listening to/reading books from members of the LGBTQ+ community. I feel like certain aspects of the human race are underutilized, or marginalized, ignored, etc. I am glad that this series/podcast, etc was released to Audible when it was & hope more authors from the LGBTQ+ community realize their dreams by being published in some format or another.

[Ines · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to all episodes in less than 24h, so I definitely enjoyed it. The premise that a group of people is ready to steal sperm from USA's greatest minds to sell to Russia and with that money create a new Lesbos is awesome. There are a lot of known voices here and they do a good job, the soundtrak evokes James Bond and everything is as unreal and outrageous as you would expect. I will probably listen to this again, it is funny!

[Sonja · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this. It is not high literature but the voice acting is top notch. The story is tremendously camp, so very queer and delightful. It follows the gang as they steal several containers of sperm from the US government for a mysterious customer. These delightful amateur professionals will have you giggling non-stop at their banter, witticism and just overall exasperation with each other at times. The queer energy is off the wall. Loved it.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, this was funny! A talented cast of celebrity voice actors brings to life an absurd heist story. The story starts in NYC, then goes to Butte, Montana, and to the Space Needle in Seattle.

Judy's aunt brings Judy (Bowen Yang) in to help with a sperm bank heist at the U.S. Seed Registry (USSR) for the lesbian cult, Clito, that she is a part of. The cult wants to sell the sperm samples to Russia.

The play on words throughout the story is hilarious.

Full cast audiobook, celebrity narrators, LGBTQ+ characters. Contemporary setting. Science fiction.

[Becki (millerreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my gawd this was a riot. Such a ridiculously funny spin on this Ocean’s Eleven-esque premise, and amazing narration by a spectacular cast. If you choose to give this one a listen, be prepared to pay attention because as fast paced as the story is, it’s even quicker witted, and you’ll be missing out on some real gems if you don’t.

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was excited for this because I have really enjoyed the audible full cast originals but this one just wasn’t as good to me. Some of the characters I enjoyed but the over all story was blah for me. I teetered between 2 starts and 3 stars because the performers were great but story plot drug it down for me. Maybe worth a listen if ur bored and have already listened to the others.

[Fil Garrison · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not really my thing again. Seemed kinda thrown together, but I like the people involved and the representation. Just the humor and story seemed first drafty. A bit like a middling SNL sketch but filthier.

[Xoey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, entertaining and hilarious, but I'm not sure I like the format... I've listened to a fair share of audiobooks, and I find the sounds and whole production distracting... kind of like watching a movie without visuals... but definitely different than what I've experienced before.

[Pamela Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ridiculously hilarious! This was a free 7 episode podcast from Audible. It was silly, fun and packed full of over the top LGBTQI+ characters. It was just the comic relief I was in need of. Their escapades even had a James Bond style comic theme song.

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rip-rollicking good time. 😃

Kudos to the voice actors for bringing all the characters to life and for providing an entertaining story.

This first volume comes in the form of podcast episodes … but I see the next is a single audiobook! More adventures - yay!

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Omg Funny

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so funny and so so good, the voice actors were on point!

[Sharon Elletson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining.

[Robin Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a funny, entertaining book. I thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to the next adventure.

[Doug Steele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not for kids. Campy, sophisticated, queer fun.