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Master Your Attachment Style: Learn How to Build Healthy & Long-Lasting Relationships
Are You Stuck in a Cycle of Unfulfilling Relationships? Break Free and Discover the Love and Connection You've Been Searching For.
You're here because you're exhausted. Exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of relationships that seem to go nowhere. Maybe you're anxious, always needing reassurance but never feeling secure. Or perhaps you're dismissive-avoidant, pushing people away when they get too close. You might even be fearful-avoidant, caught in a cycle of wanting intimacy but fearing it at the same time. And if you're one of the lucky few who are secure, you're wondering how to maintain that emotional stability. Sound familiar? It's time for a change.
Introducing "Master Your Attachment Style"—Your Passport from 'Hell Island' to 'Heaven Island.'
This isn't just another book; it's your roadmap to emotional freedom. Based on John Bowlby's revolutionary attachment theory, this guide will take you step-by-step through understanding, healing, and transforming your attachment style.
Here's Your Itinerary to 'Heaven Island':
🌟 Unlock the Secrets of Your Heart:
Anxious: Like Sarah, who constantly checks her phone for messages from her partner, craving reassurance.Dismissive-Avoidant: Think of Mark, who finds it easier to focus on his work than confront emotional intimacy.Fearful-Avoidant: Imagine Emily, who wants to be close but sabotages relationships when they get serious.Secure: Like David, who enjoys balanced relationships and can give and receive love freely.🧠 Heal Your Emotional Wounds: You're not your past; you're the resilience that survived it. Learn to heal and grow, transforming your attachment style into a source of strength.
🛠️ Tools for Lasting Change: Get actionable strategies to reprogram your emotional patterns. This is where your journey truly begins.
💪 Embrace Your True Self: Learn to leverage your unique strengths and mitigate your weaknesses, no matter your attachment style.
🌱 Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids: If you're a parent, this is your chance to break the cycle. Learn how to foster secure attachments in your children, setting them up for a lifetime of healthy relationships.
Ready for a Life Filled with Love, Connection, and Emotional Security?
Don't spend another moment on "Hell Island." Your ticket to "Heaven Island"—a life filled with fulfilling relationships and emotional well-being—is just a click away. Scroll up and click "Add to Cart" to start your journey now.
You're here because you're exhausted. Exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of relationships that seem to go nowhere. Maybe you're anxious, always needing reassurance but never feeling secure. Or perhaps you're dismissive-avoidant, pushing people away when they get too close. You might even be fearful-avoidant, caught in a cycle of wanting intimacy but fearing it at the same time. And if you're one of the lucky few who are secure, you're wondering how to maintain that emotional stability. Sound familiar? It's time for a change.
Introducing "Master Your Attachment Style"—Your Passport from 'Hell Island' to 'Heaven Island.'
This isn't just another book; it's your roadmap to emotional freedom. Based on John Bowlby's revolutionary attachment theory, this guide will take you step-by-step through understanding, healing, and transforming your attachment style.
Here's Your Itinerary to 'Heaven Island':
🌟 Unlock the Secrets of Your Heart:
Anxious: Like Sarah, who constantly checks her phone for messages from her partner, craving reassurance.Dismissive-Avoidant: Think of Mark, who finds it easier to focus on his work than confront emotional intimacy.Fearful-Avoidant: Imagine Emily, who wants to be close but sabotages relationships when they get serious.Secure: Like David, who enjoys balanced relationships and can give and receive love freely.🧠 Heal Your Emotional Wounds: You're not your past; you're the resilience that survived it. Learn to heal and grow, transforming your attachment style into a source of strength.
🛠️ Tools for Lasting Change: Get actionable strategies to reprogram your emotional patterns. This is where your journey truly begins.
💪 Embrace Your True Self: Learn to leverage your unique strengths and mitigate your weaknesses, no matter your attachment style.
🌱 Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids: If you're a parent, this is your chance to break the cycle. Learn how to foster secure attachments in your children, setting them up for a lifetime of healthy relationships.
Ready for a Life Filled with Love, Connection, and Emotional Security?
Don't spend another moment on "Hell Island." Your ticket to "Heaven Island"—a life filled with fulfilling relationships and emotional well-being—is just a click away. Scroll up and click "Add to Cart" to start your journey now.
194 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 12, 2021
154 people are currently reading
285 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
August 1, 2024
This book is a perfect complement to "Attached." Many concepts discussed in "Attached" are discussed here using different terminology, etc. But I found this book to be a quiet, easier read and a very intro-friendly dive into the Attachment style. I found the last 25% of the book to be extraordinarily helpful and fresh, and I still highly recommend this book.
August 9, 2022
This is an amazing book to understand why do you react or behave some way in your relationships either romantically way or not. Short and sweet.
November 23, 2022
Good content, odd writing style
This book is a great place to start for people who don’t know much about attachment theory. It gives an overview of the research and history of the theory. I did learn a lot about attachment styles in this book and the author did their research and used good sources. The only thing was that there were some parts with odd wording or poor sentence structure that clouded the meaning. Also, the overuse of transition words was a bit distracting. That said, I did find the content very helpful and it resonated with me. I wish the suggestions for action were broken down by attachment style, i.e. “If you are dismissive-avoidant and your anxious partner is doing x, try responding with y to meet their needs.”
This book is a great place to start for people who don’t know much about attachment theory. It gives an overview of the research and history of the theory. I did learn a lot about attachment styles in this book and the author did their research and used good sources. The only thing was that there were some parts with odd wording or poor sentence structure that clouded the meaning. Also, the overuse of transition words was a bit distracting. That said, I did find the content very helpful and it resonated with me. I wish the suggestions for action were broken down by attachment style, i.e. “If you are dismissive-avoidant and your anxious partner is doing x, try responding with y to meet their needs.”
March 15, 2022
Probably could have been half as long, but an easy to read overview of attachment styles and how to overcome yours.
September 17, 2025
The best thing I can say about this book is that it was earnest. It reads very much like a college student took a Psychology 101 class and learned how to read peer-reviewed research articles and is now very eager to tell you everything they know about attachment theory. The writing is stilted: "Here is a statement. An example would be... Another example would be... A study was done. Here is a summary of what it found. Here is the conclusion stated several different ways." He uses phrases like "It's been suggested..." (By whom? When? Where?) Where he goes into a deep dive on attachment theory research, it seems like he did a search on Google Scholar for "attachment theory," organized the results by category, and then is just going one by one summarizing what each study found, sometimes using technical phrases that he doesn't define for the reader and, I would guess, doesn't actually understand himself. There isn't a clear thesis for this section except that "attachment affects a lot of things in a huge and potentially detrimental way" and "secure attachment is good and insecure attachment is bad," ending with some very weak evidence that attachment can be changed as a transition into his (suddenly citation-free) suggestions for how to change your attachment style.
The sections on changing your thought patterns, overcoming trauma, etc., was rough to read as well. There isn't an author profile anywhere that I saw, but I would wager this author hasn't done any ongoing work with clients or patients or otherwise tried to put his ideas into actual practice beyond his own personal experience because his advice mostly comes down to "Now that you understand how detrimental your current tendencies are, just try to be different!" At one point he literally says if you start to feel a certain way, "Well, don't!" And just tell your brain not to feel that way. He can come across as quite judgy at times, like when talking about limiting beliefs: "Do you realize how damaging that is? Imagine being 50 and still letting your past dictate your current life choices." He has a very simplistic approach to overcoming trauma responses (which, as anyone who's read The Body Keeps the Score can tell you, requires specialized trauma-informed approaches): "What you can do instead is reframe your perspective. Don't torture yourself by believing in these bad ideas. Your core beliefs will become more ingrained in your mind if you are incapable of snapping out of a trance." Of course — your negative beliefs and responses are self-reinforcing and detrimental, so just stop it already!
In the section on strengths and weaknesses, or the pros and cons of each attachment style, the descriptions of the strengths of each attachment style — e.g., that dismissive-avoidants are good friends who are detailed-oriented and analytical and root for the underdog — doesn't seem to be based in any research or follow logically from the attachment style itself, which makes me think the author is just drawing generalizations from people he knows with this attachment style.
If the cringeworthy advice and writing style weren't enough evidence, it's clear from errors in the text that the author didn't have a competent editor review this before publishing it, like saying "Three things" followed by a list of four things, rapidly shifting verb tenses, or suddenly referencing "Bartholomew" pages before the first full mention of "Kim Bartholomew (1990)." In the first part of the book he also references a variety of different terms for the different attachment styles without attempting to provide clarity on whether they mean the same things. For example, on page 10, there's secure, insecure-ambivalent (anxious), insecure-avoidant, and disorganized (fearful-avoidant). On page 21, describing the categories from the exact same study referenced on page 10, there's secure, anxious-avoidant, and anxious-resistant. On pages 53-54, there's dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and anxious-avoidant. And then finally, he uses secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant as the four categories for the latter half of the book.
There were two worthwhile takeaways I had from this book, and both were straight-up regurgitations of other people's research. I thought Anthony Robbins' list of the six human needs was interesting, and I appreciated the discussion of Ebrahimi et al. (2017)'s research that laid out how the four parenting styles come from a matrix of acceptance vs. demandingness. But as far as learning about attachment styles and how to develop secure attachment as an adult, I would much rather recommend a book like Polysecure than this one.
The sections on changing your thought patterns, overcoming trauma, etc., was rough to read as well. There isn't an author profile anywhere that I saw, but I would wager this author hasn't done any ongoing work with clients or patients or otherwise tried to put his ideas into actual practice beyond his own personal experience because his advice mostly comes down to "Now that you understand how detrimental your current tendencies are, just try to be different!" At one point he literally says if you start to feel a certain way, "Well, don't!" And just tell your brain not to feel that way. He can come across as quite judgy at times, like when talking about limiting beliefs: "Do you realize how damaging that is? Imagine being 50 and still letting your past dictate your current life choices." He has a very simplistic approach to overcoming trauma responses (which, as anyone who's read The Body Keeps the Score can tell you, requires specialized trauma-informed approaches): "What you can do instead is reframe your perspective. Don't torture yourself by believing in these bad ideas. Your core beliefs will become more ingrained in your mind if you are incapable of snapping out of a trance." Of course — your negative beliefs and responses are self-reinforcing and detrimental, so just stop it already!
In the section on strengths and weaknesses, or the pros and cons of each attachment style, the descriptions of the strengths of each attachment style — e.g., that dismissive-avoidants are good friends who are detailed-oriented and analytical and root for the underdog — doesn't seem to be based in any research or follow logically from the attachment style itself, which makes me think the author is just drawing generalizations from people he knows with this attachment style.
If the cringeworthy advice and writing style weren't enough evidence, it's clear from errors in the text that the author didn't have a competent editor review this before publishing it, like saying "Three things" followed by a list of four things, rapidly shifting verb tenses, or suddenly referencing "Bartholomew" pages before the first full mention of "Kim Bartholomew (1990)." In the first part of the book he also references a variety of different terms for the different attachment styles without attempting to provide clarity on whether they mean the same things. For example, on page 10, there's secure, insecure-ambivalent (anxious), insecure-avoidant, and disorganized (fearful-avoidant). On page 21, describing the categories from the exact same study referenced on page 10, there's secure, anxious-avoidant, and anxious-resistant. On pages 53-54, there's dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and anxious-avoidant. And then finally, he uses secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant as the four categories for the latter half of the book.
There were two worthwhile takeaways I had from this book, and both were straight-up regurgitations of other people's research. I thought Anthony Robbins' list of the six human needs was interesting, and I appreciated the discussion of Ebrahimi et al. (2017)'s research that laid out how the four parenting styles come from a matrix of acceptance vs. demandingness. But as far as learning about attachment styles and how to develop secure attachment as an adult, I would much rather recommend a book like Polysecure than this one.
November 17, 2022
4.5 ✨‘s
Master Your Attachment Style
This was seriously such an incredible listen! Like WOW. I truly feel as though this book has changed my outlook on so many relationships in my life. Whether you are in a romantic relationship, platonic relationship/friendship, family, or work relationships – this book has something for everyone. (I also want to add - I think if you are new or expecting parents, or somebody’s primary caregiver - this also has something for you!)
In one way or another, most of us are familiar with the term ‘childhood trauma’. However, what many people may or may not know, is that trauma can be identified in many forms. Whether significant or minor, these types of trauma shape the people we are today, and the type of Attachment Styles we form (typically subconsciously) in our relationships.
I found this book to be so well written, truly captivating, and the lessons invaluable. I learned so much about myself, I learned things about my previous relationships, my current relationships, relationships of those around me. This listen was perfect as it wasn’t too long, or too wordy, it was easy to understand as it really makes perfect sense. I also chose to take notes as I listened along, as there was such brilliant advice, ideas, and thoughts Scott Young shared with us.
If you want to learn, grow and/or better yourself, I HIGHLY recommend this one!
#bookstagram #book #books #bookrecommendations #bookreview #bookreviews #bookreviewer #bookrecommendation #booklover #selfhelpbooks #selflove #attachmentstyles
Master Your Attachment Style
This was seriously such an incredible listen! Like WOW. I truly feel as though this book has changed my outlook on so many relationships in my life. Whether you are in a romantic relationship, platonic relationship/friendship, family, or work relationships – this book has something for everyone. (I also want to add - I think if you are new or expecting parents, or somebody’s primary caregiver - this also has something for you!)
In one way or another, most of us are familiar with the term ‘childhood trauma’. However, what many people may or may not know, is that trauma can be identified in many forms. Whether significant or minor, these types of trauma shape the people we are today, and the type of Attachment Styles we form (typically subconsciously) in our relationships.
I found this book to be so well written, truly captivating, and the lessons invaluable. I learned so much about myself, I learned things about my previous relationships, my current relationships, relationships of those around me. This listen was perfect as it wasn’t too long, or too wordy, it was easy to understand as it really makes perfect sense. I also chose to take notes as I listened along, as there was such brilliant advice, ideas, and thoughts Scott Young shared with us.
If you want to learn, grow and/or better yourself, I HIGHLY recommend this one!
#bookstagram #book #books #bookrecommendations #bookreview #bookreviews #bookreviewer #bookrecommendation #booklover #selfhelpbooks #selflove #attachmentstyles
June 28, 2024
3 1/2 stars (goodreads please do half star ratings… my god)
[AUDIOBOOK]
Great listen if you are driven by research and evidence-based practices. Takes a methodological approach in its account of attachment styles. As someone who is personally interested in knowing the research as a part of creating a comprehensive understanding of a concept, this was solid. On the contrary, if you are someone who doesn’t need a ton of detailed research points to help create an understanding of something, you could probably skip a lot of the sections of this book.
I learned which attachment style i am, and this book not only showed compassion toward the various insecure styles when explaining them, but also took a kind approach in highlighting why I have formed said type of attachment style (validation), and the perceived strengths that come with it, along with navigating the drawbacks (affirmative and self aware).
The goal again added to my intention of being more introspective this summer. Adding more tools to my tool belt. Going to pick up another attachment style book in the future, really interesting stuff.
[AUDIOBOOK]
Great listen if you are driven by research and evidence-based practices. Takes a methodological approach in its account of attachment styles. As someone who is personally interested in knowing the research as a part of creating a comprehensive understanding of a concept, this was solid. On the contrary, if you are someone who doesn’t need a ton of detailed research points to help create an understanding of something, you could probably skip a lot of the sections of this book.
I learned which attachment style i am, and this book not only showed compassion toward the various insecure styles when explaining them, but also took a kind approach in highlighting why I have formed said type of attachment style (validation), and the perceived strengths that come with it, along with navigating the drawbacks (affirmative and self aware).
The goal again added to my intention of being more introspective this summer. Adding more tools to my tool belt. Going to pick up another attachment style book in the future, really interesting stuff.
February 26, 2024
This book was an absolute eye opener on different attachment styles and how it affects it. It goes all the way back to how different childhoods/parenting styles/traumas, etc... affect and shape our attachment styles. This book literally transformed me from knowing nothing about this topic to being self-aware about my style and aware of the different styles people around me have. It helps big time in understanding why you and others act the way you do. I definitely want to delve deeper into this topic and find out how to teach myself and transition to a secure attachment style.
June 20, 2021
Informative, enlightening and helpful
If you are interested in learning more about attachment styles, their origins, and how they might impact your relationships, this is a great resource. It covers the history as well as the mechanics of attachment theory and provides useful insights for navigating improving how you react and relate.
If you are interested in learning more about attachment styles, their origins, and how they might impact your relationships, this is a great resource. It covers the history as well as the mechanics of attachment theory and provides useful insights for navigating improving how you react and relate.
January 8, 2022
Great read
If you want to understand Attachment Theory and yourself, this book is very helpful. It opened my eyes to many things in my life and how I deal with them. Highly suggest this book.
If you want to understand Attachment Theory and yourself, this book is very helpful. It opened my eyes to many things in my life and how I deal with them. Highly suggest this book.
November 9, 2023
Very interesting. I brought up attachment styles in therapy and wanted to explore the topic independent. Was unsurprised and surprised to find that a lot of the things mentioned in therapy also came up in the book and all interwine with each other.
March 30, 2024
Very Informative
This was a good read. I was slow to start, but once I was able to focus, I couldn't stop reading. The information was easy to understand and relate to. It didn't feel too scientific. I enjoyed it, and I learned something.
This was a good read. I was slow to start, but once I was able to focus, I couldn't stop reading. The information was easy to understand and relate to. It didn't feel too scientific. I enjoyed it, and I learned something.
October 18, 2023
Easy read but the advice stays with you.
February 23, 2024
This was a really good read. I learned alot. Well done.
May 26, 2025
A great book for someone with minimal background on attachment styles. Also gave a little bit on detail into what the styles look like.
October 4, 2025
A great overview of attachment styles in adults underpinned by foundational theory. This book is an easy read, perfect for people wanting to build greater self-awareness, no matter their attachment style, and for those wanting to work on becoming more securely attached. It’s also great in acting as a support base for people wanting to lead happier, healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Great food for thought!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews