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Gone but Still Here
As her recent memories fade, Mary lives increasingly in the past ― returning to the secrets of her turbulent interracial love story.
Coming to terms with advancing dementia, Mary has no choice other than to move into her daughter’s home. Her daughter, Kayla, caught between her cognitively impaired mother and her belligerent teenage son, soon finds caregiving is more challenging than she imagined. Sage, the family’s golden retriever, offers comfort and unconditional love, but she has her own problems, especially when it comes to dealing with Mary’s cat.
Throughout it all, Mary struggles to complete her final book ― a memoir, the untold story of the love of her life, who died more than forty years earlier. Her confused and tangled tales span Trinidad, England, and Canada, revealing the secrets of a tragic interracial love story in the 1960s and ’70s. But with her writing skills slipping away, it’s a race against time.
Heartwarming, funny, and hopeful, Gone but Still Here is an honest, open look at the struggles of one family as they journey into the unknown.
Coming to terms with advancing dementia, Mary has no choice other than to move into her daughter’s home. Her daughter, Kayla, caught between her cognitively impaired mother and her belligerent teenage son, soon finds caregiving is more challenging than she imagined. Sage, the family’s golden retriever, offers comfort and unconditional love, but she has her own problems, especially when it comes to dealing with Mary’s cat.
Throughout it all, Mary struggles to complete her final book ― a memoir, the untold story of the love of her life, who died more than forty years earlier. Her confused and tangled tales span Trinidad, England, and Canada, revealing the secrets of a tragic interracial love story in the 1960s and ’70s. But with her writing skills slipping away, it’s a race against time.
Heartwarming, funny, and hopeful, Gone but Still Here is an honest, open look at the struggles of one family as they journey into the unknown.
392 pages, Paperback
Published May 17, 2022
About the author
Jennifer Dance
5 books42 followersACCLAIMED NOVELIST and GILLER PRIZE-winner, JOSEPH BOYDEN, says;
"With Red Wolf, Jennifer Dance has come howling out of the wilderness...and I'm deeply impressed."
JENNIFER IS THRILLED TO HAVE JOSEPH BOYDEN'S SUPPORT.
Jennifer Dance is a Canadian author and playwright who is passionate about justice and equality for all people. She has experienced first-hand where racism can lead. Looking back, she sees that it made her more sensitive to the plight of others. It fueled her passion for equality and justice. It drove her creativity.
Jennifer was born in England, but spent her formative teenage years in Trinidad. After graduating from the University of the West Indies in 1970, she returned to England and married a Trinidadian. A racist attack by Skinheads motivated her and her husband to emigrate to Canada in 1979 where they hoped for a better life for their mixed-race children. RED WOLF is her first published novel.
RED WOLF will soon be followed by PAINT, the story of a mustang on North America's Great Plains. As in her first novel, Red Wolf, Dance brings the issue of unjust treatment of indigenous people into sharp focus. She couples her passion for racial equality, her zeal for environmental issues, and her background in agriculture, with a lifelong love of horses, giving her a wealth of experience to tell this story. From the slaughter of the buffalo and the threatened existence of the Plains Indians, to cattle ranching and pioneer homesteading, Dance takes a Lakota boy and a painted mustang horse down the path to environmental and human catastrophe.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
March 29, 2022
Mary sets out to write the story she never told her children about their father and what they faced being in an interracial marriage. This is an enormous undertaking as she has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It’s more than just one woman’s experience with Alzheimer’s, though, it’s the story of what it means to be a caregiver. The book is filled with the variety of emotions that I suspect come with learning this is happening to you and for her children, regretting that maybe they missed the signs, fear of leaving her alone, fear of the uncertainties as the disease progresses, deciding what to do about care.
Along with the hard things, there are touching moments. There are funny moments and there are even moments of joy. In alternating chapters, with alternating narrators we get the perspective from Mary herself, her daughter Kayla, and Kayla’s dog, Sage. It took me a while to get used to Sage’s chapters, but in time, I did.
Jennifer Dance says “ Gone but Still Here is a work of fiction, but in many ways, it’s a memoir.” She’s is currently a caregiver for her partner who has Alzheimer’s disease and this feels like such a realistic portrayal of a caregiver’s experience with all of the frustration, difficulty, sadness, love and even humor. She was also in an interracial marriage, experiencing the racism and tragedy of loss as does Mary in this story. Knowing this, made all of the emotions and this story so much more poignant.
I received an advanced copy of this book from Dundurn Press through Edelweiss and NetGalley.
Along with the hard things, there are touching moments. There are funny moments and there are even moments of joy. In alternating chapters, with alternating narrators we get the perspective from Mary herself, her daughter Kayla, and Kayla’s dog, Sage. It took me a while to get used to Sage’s chapters, but in time, I did.
Jennifer Dance says “ Gone but Still Here is a work of fiction, but in many ways, it’s a memoir.” She’s is currently a caregiver for her partner who has Alzheimer’s disease and this feels like such a realistic portrayal of a caregiver’s experience with all of the frustration, difficulty, sadness, love and even humor. She was also in an interracial marriage, experiencing the racism and tragedy of loss as does Mary in this story. Knowing this, made all of the emotions and this story so much more poignant.
I received an advanced copy of this book from Dundurn Press through Edelweiss and NetGalley.
May 20, 2022
In a Nutshell: A very emotional read focussing on the issues of Alzheimer’s sufferers as well as caregivers. It’s a slow and complicated read but the topic makes it worth the effort.
Story:
Where the book worked for me:
😍 The author’s note right at the start sets a clear stage for the rest of the content. She talks about about her partner's Alzheimer's diagnosis and her frustrations being the caregiver. There is another author’s note at the end, which reveals the extent to which this story is based on true events. Keith Bowen, Mary’s late husband in the story, is based on the author’s first husband (also called Keith Bowen) and their inter-racial relationship. Kayla’s experiences are based the author’s caregiving for her second life partner, who is an Alzheimer’s patient. Both the notes made me quite emotional.
😍 I loved how the book highlighted not just the problems faced by the sufferer but also by the caregiver. Caregiving is never an easy job, but to do so for a patient with dementia has to be among the toughest of experiences. My heart went out to Kayla.
😍 The first person voice works brilliantly for the story. Mary’s confusion, Kayla’s frustration, and Sage’s muddled up loyalties, all come out clearly through the writing.
😍 Mary’s pov is the most complicated to read, as it feels like we are looking at a picture through window shades, with only a few glimpses available at a time. We feel as confused as an Alzheimer's patient would. It is only at the end that we understand what exactly she went through. I was in awe of the author’s writing skills for successfully creating such a complex jigsaw puzzle of Mary’s life.
😍 There is no picture perfect family just to add on to the idea of a family shattered by Alzheimer’s. Kayla’s relationship with one of her siblings is tricky. Her ex-husband isn’t glorified or vilified; he just isn’t there. Jesse’s teenage hormones are highly active. I loved how the author kept the characters real, not too goody-goody.
😍 I didn’t initially understand why the author chose to have Sage the dog narrating one of the povs, but as the story progressed, I began to see the beauty of that decision. Having another human perspective such as that of Jesse or Kayla’s siblings would have repeated the same feelings as that of Kayla. It is Sage who provides us an outsider’s view of the family’s troubles. Furthermore, she provides the right amount of comic relief as well as emotional moments, thus handling extremely well the tough task of being a narrator. The presence of Regis the cat adds the perfect amount of conflict in Sage’s life.
😍 The book covers quite a lot of heavy themes: racism/white supremacy, healthcare system issues, caregivers’ issues, patients’ issues, interracial relationship problems. All are handled well, not surprising as the author chose to base most of these on her own life.
😍 There is a touch of magic realism to the story, the details of which I won’t reveal here. But this adds a beautiful poignant element to the story.
😍 As Kayla’s story begins in 2019, the author successfully incorporates the effects of the covid-19 pandemic and the lockdown on patients and caregivers.
Where the book could have worked better for me:
☹ It is slow.
☹ It is very heavy on the feelings. I found myself needing a break after a few chapters to get my emotional battery recharged.
Overall, I simply loved the story, the writing, the issues, and Sage. Despite the slow pace, I didn’t lose my interest or my investment in the characters. The author seems to have captured the spirit of a sufferer, a caregiver and a dog aptly. Much recommended.
4.5 stars.
Note: If you are already in a caregiving situation to an Alzheimer’s patient, this book might be either cathartic or too traumatic. Take a call accordingly. Not recommended to readers who are in a depressed mindspace.
My thanks to Dundurn Press and NetGalley for the DRC of “Gone but Still Here”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
***********************
Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
Story:
Mary: a seventy-five year old published writer who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Mary is determined to pen down her love story with her late husband Keith, whom she met in Trinidad in the 1960s. But with her memory degrading more day by day, will she be able to complete her story?
Kayla: Mary’s youngest daughter, single mom of three, singer. Only her youngest teen, Jesse, stays with her. But with Mary’s health worsening, Kayla has no choice but to bring Mary into her own home. Will she be able to handle this additional responsibility?
Sage: Kayla’s dog. Or rather, Jesse’s dog. A Golden Retriever, Sage is just as her name suggests, full of wisdom, understanding and caring. When her “Mom” brings “Gran” home, Sage knows that she also has to step up her responsibility. But her loyalties always lie with her main “upright”, Jesse.
The story comes to us in the first person perspective of these three distinct and enthralling characters.
Where the book worked for me:
😍 The author’s note right at the start sets a clear stage for the rest of the content. She talks about about her partner's Alzheimer's diagnosis and her frustrations being the caregiver. There is another author’s note at the end, which reveals the extent to which this story is based on true events. Keith Bowen, Mary’s late husband in the story, is based on the author’s first husband (also called Keith Bowen) and their inter-racial relationship. Kayla’s experiences are based the author’s caregiving for her second life partner, who is an Alzheimer’s patient. Both the notes made me quite emotional.
😍 I loved how the book highlighted not just the problems faced by the sufferer but also by the caregiver. Caregiving is never an easy job, but to do so for a patient with dementia has to be among the toughest of experiences. My heart went out to Kayla.
😍 The first person voice works brilliantly for the story. Mary’s confusion, Kayla’s frustration, and Sage’s muddled up loyalties, all come out clearly through the writing.
😍 Mary’s pov is the most complicated to read, as it feels like we are looking at a picture through window shades, with only a few glimpses available at a time. We feel as confused as an Alzheimer's patient would. It is only at the end that we understand what exactly she went through. I was in awe of the author’s writing skills for successfully creating such a complex jigsaw puzzle of Mary’s life.
😍 There is no picture perfect family just to add on to the idea of a family shattered by Alzheimer’s. Kayla’s relationship with one of her siblings is tricky. Her ex-husband isn’t glorified or vilified; he just isn’t there. Jesse’s teenage hormones are highly active. I loved how the author kept the characters real, not too goody-goody.
😍 I didn’t initially understand why the author chose to have Sage the dog narrating one of the povs, but as the story progressed, I began to see the beauty of that decision. Having another human perspective such as that of Jesse or Kayla’s siblings would have repeated the same feelings as that of Kayla. It is Sage who provides us an outsider’s view of the family’s troubles. Furthermore, she provides the right amount of comic relief as well as emotional moments, thus handling extremely well the tough task of being a narrator. The presence of Regis the cat adds the perfect amount of conflict in Sage’s life.
😍 The book covers quite a lot of heavy themes: racism/white supremacy, healthcare system issues, caregivers’ issues, patients’ issues, interracial relationship problems. All are handled well, not surprising as the author chose to base most of these on her own life.
😍 There is a touch of magic realism to the story, the details of which I won’t reveal here. But this adds a beautiful poignant element to the story.
😍 As Kayla’s story begins in 2019, the author successfully incorporates the effects of the covid-19 pandemic and the lockdown on patients and caregivers.
Where the book could have worked better for me:
☹ It is slow.
☹ It is very heavy on the feelings. I found myself needing a break after a few chapters to get my emotional battery recharged.
Overall, I simply loved the story, the writing, the issues, and Sage. Despite the slow pace, I didn’t lose my interest or my investment in the characters. The author seems to have captured the spirit of a sufferer, a caregiver and a dog aptly. Much recommended.
4.5 stars.
Note: If you are already in a caregiving situation to an Alzheimer’s patient, this book might be either cathartic or too traumatic. Take a call accordingly. Not recommended to readers who are in a depressed mindspace.
My thanks to Dundurn Press and NetGalley for the DRC of “Gone but Still Here”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
***********************
Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
May 17, 2022
EXCERPT: My name is Mary, and I have Alzheimer's disease.
Lurching gut.
It makes me think of AA meetings I've seen in the movies. My name is so-and-so, and I'm an alcoholic. It's an acknowledgement, a way of facing your problem. Writing this is an acknowledgement too. A way of confronting the truth.
I've been telling myself that I've just been having a few memory lapses - part of normal aging. But I'm slipping away. I can feel it.
Getting confused.
Losing logic and understanding.
Having to tell myself that red means stop and green means go.
I've been trying to hide it. Hide from it. Ignore it. Make excuses. But one day I'll be gone, even though I will still be here.
It's hard to accept. Hard to believe. A living death. A dying life.
Will I know what's happening? I hope not.
ABOUT 'GONE BUT STILL HERE': Coming to terms with advancing dementia, Mary has no choice other than to move into her daughter’s home. Her daughter, Kayla, caught between her cognitively impaired mother and her belligerent teenage son, soon finds caregiving is more challenging than she imagined. Sage, the family’s golden retriever, offers comfort and unconditional love, but she has her own problems, especially when it comes to dealing with Mary’s cat.
Throughout it all, Mary struggles to complete her final book — a memoir, the untold story of the love of her life, who died more than forty years earlier. Her confused and tangled tales span Trinidad, England, and Canada, revealing the secrets of a tragic interracial love story in the 1960s and ’70s. But with her writing skills slipping away, it’s a race against time.
MY THOUGHTS: Although Gone But Still Here is a work of fiction, Mary's backstory is the author's own.
This wonderful book can't have been easy to write, but it is written with wisdom and wit. Gone But Still Here is an emotional read. I cringed at the treatment Mary and Keith received from both family and strangers because of their interracial marriage. I cried as Mary struggled to raise three small children alone with little support, but I also applauded her bravery and determination. And Mary's journey into Alzheimer's? That engendered a whole range of emotions.
The story is told from multiple points of view: Mary - we get to live her disease through her eyes; Kayla, Mary's daughter who puts her own life on hold to care for her mother; Jesse, Kayla's teenage son and Mary's grandson whose life is also impacted by the arrival of his 'nutty' grandmother; and Sage, the wonderful family dog who provided a lot of light relief with her dog's view of life.
The author shares the struggles, frustrations, fears, and incredible joys that accompany caring for an Alzheimer's patient as a previously fractured family is drawn closer together by the experience.
While I loved this book and the storytelling, Sage (or Toby as Mary was sure she was called) is the outstanding character and earned this read an extra star.
⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
#GoneButStillHere #NetGalley
I: #jenniferdance @dundurnpress
T: @JenniferDance1 @dundurnpress
#contemporaryfiction #historicalfiction #aging #familydrama #deathanddying #sliceoflife
THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Dance was born in England and holds a B.Sc. in Agriculture and Animal Science from the University of the West Indies. She migrated to Canada in 1979. With family in the Native community, Jennifer has a passion for equality and justice for all people.
DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Dundurn Press via Netgalley for providing a digital ARC of Gone But Still Here by Jennifer Dance for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This review is also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
Lurching gut.
It makes me think of AA meetings I've seen in the movies. My name is so-and-so, and I'm an alcoholic. It's an acknowledgement, a way of facing your problem. Writing this is an acknowledgement too. A way of confronting the truth.
I've been telling myself that I've just been having a few memory lapses - part of normal aging. But I'm slipping away. I can feel it.
Getting confused.
Losing logic and understanding.
Having to tell myself that red means stop and green means go.
I've been trying to hide it. Hide from it. Ignore it. Make excuses. But one day I'll be gone, even though I will still be here.
It's hard to accept. Hard to believe. A living death. A dying life.
Will I know what's happening? I hope not.
ABOUT 'GONE BUT STILL HERE': Coming to terms with advancing dementia, Mary has no choice other than to move into her daughter’s home. Her daughter, Kayla, caught between her cognitively impaired mother and her belligerent teenage son, soon finds caregiving is more challenging than she imagined. Sage, the family’s golden retriever, offers comfort and unconditional love, but she has her own problems, especially when it comes to dealing with Mary’s cat.
Throughout it all, Mary struggles to complete her final book — a memoir, the untold story of the love of her life, who died more than forty years earlier. Her confused and tangled tales span Trinidad, England, and Canada, revealing the secrets of a tragic interracial love story in the 1960s and ’70s. But with her writing skills slipping away, it’s a race against time.
MY THOUGHTS: Although Gone But Still Here is a work of fiction, Mary's backstory is the author's own.
This wonderful book can't have been easy to write, but it is written with wisdom and wit. Gone But Still Here is an emotional read. I cringed at the treatment Mary and Keith received from both family and strangers because of their interracial marriage. I cried as Mary struggled to raise three small children alone with little support, but I also applauded her bravery and determination. And Mary's journey into Alzheimer's? That engendered a whole range of emotions.
The story is told from multiple points of view: Mary - we get to live her disease through her eyes; Kayla, Mary's daughter who puts her own life on hold to care for her mother; Jesse, Kayla's teenage son and Mary's grandson whose life is also impacted by the arrival of his 'nutty' grandmother; and Sage, the wonderful family dog who provided a lot of light relief with her dog's view of life.
The author shares the struggles, frustrations, fears, and incredible joys that accompany caring for an Alzheimer's patient as a previously fractured family is drawn closer together by the experience.
While I loved this book and the storytelling, Sage (or Toby as Mary was sure she was called) is the outstanding character and earned this read an extra star.
⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
#GoneButStillHere #NetGalley
I: #jenniferdance @dundurnpress
T: @JenniferDance1 @dundurnpress
#contemporaryfiction #historicalfiction #aging #familydrama #deathanddying #sliceoflife
THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Dance was born in England and holds a B.Sc. in Agriculture and Animal Science from the University of the West Indies. She migrated to Canada in 1979. With family in the Native community, Jennifer has a passion for equality and justice for all people.
DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Dundurn Press via Netgalley for providing a digital ARC of Gone But Still Here by Jennifer Dance for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.
For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This review is also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
Did Not Finish
May 19, 2022I read 20% of the book and found it just didn’t work for me. Too many points of view, one a dog, and the primary narrator is very fractured as the woman has Alzheimer’s. I don’t have the concentration level needed for this, not now anyway. So I’m saying goodbye to this book.
March 11, 2022
I am making an early call that I have found my best book of 2022 already!
Gone But Still Here by Jennifer Dance is an amazing and unputdownable book.
This is a story that kept me gripped, emotions all over the place, and many many tears. But it is not a depressing read at all. Author Jennifer Dance is writing about what she knows. She was in an interracial marriage until her husband died leaving her a single mother. Her current partner of 30 years has Alzheimers and she has been living with this for the last couple of years. Now he has gone into full time care. All this emotion and experience has been poured into the story.
There are three main narrators, Mary, her daughter Kayla and Kayla’s dog Sage.
As the story progresses, and Mary slips further into the grips of alzheimers, her narrations lessened and the Kayla and Sage pick up the slack. Mary is living more in the past, and her dead husband becomes very real and encourages Mary to write their story while she still can. There is one moving scene where Mary’s daughter films her mother talking to her husband - her head lifted up looking at a man she loved that no one else can see or hear but Mary.
I loved it, I wanted to fly to Canada, find Jennifer and give her a hug. She has poured her soul into this story and you can tell.
I can also recommend two books of hers I’ve read as well - Red Wolf and Paint which look at how the first peoples were treated in Canada - amazing stories. Jennifer is a talented writer and I wish her all the best as her partner finishes his journey.
I thank Netgalley, Dundern Press and the author for my copy
Gone But Still Here by Jennifer Dance is an amazing and unputdownable book.
This is a story that kept me gripped, emotions all over the place, and many many tears. But it is not a depressing read at all. Author Jennifer Dance is writing about what she knows. She was in an interracial marriage until her husband died leaving her a single mother. Her current partner of 30 years has Alzheimers and she has been living with this for the last couple of years. Now he has gone into full time care. All this emotion and experience has been poured into the story.
There are three main narrators, Mary, her daughter Kayla and Kayla’s dog Sage.
As the story progresses, and Mary slips further into the grips of alzheimers, her narrations lessened and the Kayla and Sage pick up the slack. Mary is living more in the past, and her dead husband becomes very real and encourages Mary to write their story while she still can. There is one moving scene where Mary’s daughter films her mother talking to her husband - her head lifted up looking at a man she loved that no one else can see or hear but Mary.
I loved it, I wanted to fly to Canada, find Jennifer and give her a hug. She has poured her soul into this story and you can tell.
I can also recommend two books of hers I’ve read as well - Red Wolf and Paint which look at how the first peoples were treated in Canada - amazing stories. Jennifer is a talented writer and I wish her all the best as her partner finishes his journey.
I thank Netgalley, Dundern Press and the author for my copy
July 4, 2022
I was not able to really get into this story, told as stream of consciousness of a woman with dementia, it also includes excerpts from a memoir she is writing. Alternate chapters are told from the POV of a dog. It just didn't work for me.
This story is based on personal events, and for me it would have been better as a straight memoir, rather than fiction. I understand that the author writes Young Adult novels, and that's what this one reads like.
I received a digital review copy of this novel from NetGalley.
This story is based on personal events, and for me it would have been better as a straight memoir, rather than fiction. I understand that the author writes Young Adult novels, and that's what this one reads like.
I received a digital review copy of this novel from NetGalley.
June 26, 2022
Faced with rapidly advancing Alzheimer’s, Mary is forced to live with her youngest daughter Kayla, and her 15-year old grandson. The move isn’t an easy one, for any of them. Mary’s story is told through her own eyes, but also through the eyes of Kayla and, of all things, Sage, the family’s golden retriever. Now, I’m not a fan of anthropomorphism and in fact, I’d just finished a book prior to this one that had an octopus as a main character, so I was a bit hesitant about this one. However, another pleasant surprise for me: I actually grew to enjoy Sage’s chapters and I really think they added to the story. The also served to show the positive impact animals can have on humans and their mental health.
As Mary’s cognitive abilities shut down, she frantically tries to write down her life story, most of which she’s never told to her children because she found it too painful. This added a whole other level to her story as she described falling in love and marrying a black Trinidadian man back in the early 1970’s (she’s white), and the racial prejudice they both faced. What made this particularly interesting was the fact that the author tells us in her notes that this novel is fiction, but in many ways it’s her own memoir because she, too, was in an interracial marriage. She also has been the caregiver for her second spouse, who has Alzheimer’s disease. This led to the frustrations and difficulties of being a caregiver being portrayed very realistically. It also meant that she could realistically share the joys and humourous moments as well. I would suggest reading the author’s notes first, before starting the story.
Overall, I’d give this one 4.5 stars, so I’ll round it up to 5.
As Mary’s cognitive abilities shut down, she frantically tries to write down her life story, most of which she’s never told to her children because she found it too painful. This added a whole other level to her story as she described falling in love and marrying a black Trinidadian man back in the early 1970’s (she’s white), and the racial prejudice they both faced. What made this particularly interesting was the fact that the author tells us in her notes that this novel is fiction, but in many ways it’s her own memoir because she, too, was in an interracial marriage. She also has been the caregiver for her second spouse, who has Alzheimer’s disease. This led to the frustrations and difficulties of being a caregiver being portrayed very realistically. It also meant that she could realistically share the joys and humourous moments as well. I would suggest reading the author’s notes first, before starting the story.
Overall, I’d give this one 4.5 stars, so I’ll round it up to 5.
November 30, 2022
I'm at page 220 in this book and am tapping out. I'm DNF-ing it not because it's a bad book or badly written -- on the contrary, the writing is beautiful, and the story packs an emotional wallop without ever feeling maudlin. However, it's just not the kind of book I want to read right now. I need happy, light-hearted stories that make me feel good, or pulse-racing thrillers that keep me breathless. There are definitely moments of joy in Gone but Still Here, and the story itself tackles perhaps one of the most life-changing adventures that unfortunately will affect many readers' lives. But it's a tad too much reality for me, so I'm tapping out, but I'll definitely highly recommend this book if you're in the mood for that particular form of emotional catharsis and transcendence from your fiction.
Full review on my blog: https://literarytreats.com/2022/11/30...
Full review on my blog: https://literarytreats.com/2022/11/30...
February 23, 2022
I have mixed feelings about this book. Although it felt like an accurate description of living with Alzheimer’s, there was something that stopped me from getting emotionally invested in the characters. The book was easy to read but I didn’t find my self feeling eager to see how the story played out for the different characters.
April 27, 2022
A fantastic read!
March 18, 2022
I want to say I enjoyed reading this but there were some bits that held me back from enjoying this fully.
The story starts off with Mary being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She shared her fear, despair and helplessness through her writing. Mary decided that she wants to write all details of her life before her memory leaves her. She tried to keep her illness from her children for as long as possible but soon she had no choice but to ask her children for help. Her daughter, Kayla, became her primary carer and she shared her struggles and experience in being a caregiver while dealing with the pain of watching Mary’s condition deteriorate.
This was told in the narrative of Mary, Kayla and Kayla’s dog, Sage. I love all varying emotions portrayed by Mary and Kayla. They are both learning and understanding the circumstances that surround them but most of all, they had to deal with a lot of uncertainties in the perspective of a caregiver and Alzheimer’s patient.
It was very interesting being inside Mary’s thoughts, how she tries hard to hold on to her memories and how scared and lost she felt when she couldn’t remember anything, not even her loved ones. It also broke my heart being inside Kayla’s thoughts. How sad and helpless she felt seeing her own mother go through Alzheimer’s but not able to do anything more to help her.
The main thing that held me back was the perspective of Sage. I understand that dogs are able to read the emotions but I felt that Sage’s perspective was unnecessary. Instead, I would have preferred to read about Kayla’s son perspective, who was still a teen and had to learn to take care of his grandmother when Kayla needs a breather.
Although this is a work of fiction, it is also somewhat Dance’s memoir as she is currently caring for her partner who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She poured her experience and feelings into Mary and Kayla which made the story more relatable and heart breaking.
Thank you Netgalley and Dundurn Press for the arc.
The story starts off with Mary being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She shared her fear, despair and helplessness through her writing. Mary decided that she wants to write all details of her life before her memory leaves her. She tried to keep her illness from her children for as long as possible but soon she had no choice but to ask her children for help. Her daughter, Kayla, became her primary carer and she shared her struggles and experience in being a caregiver while dealing with the pain of watching Mary’s condition deteriorate.
This was told in the narrative of Mary, Kayla and Kayla’s dog, Sage. I love all varying emotions portrayed by Mary and Kayla. They are both learning and understanding the circumstances that surround them but most of all, they had to deal with a lot of uncertainties in the perspective of a caregiver and Alzheimer’s patient.
It was very interesting being inside Mary’s thoughts, how she tries hard to hold on to her memories and how scared and lost she felt when she couldn’t remember anything, not even her loved ones. It also broke my heart being inside Kayla’s thoughts. How sad and helpless she felt seeing her own mother go through Alzheimer’s but not able to do anything more to help her.
The main thing that held me back was the perspective of Sage. I understand that dogs are able to read the emotions but I felt that Sage’s perspective was unnecessary. Instead, I would have preferred to read about Kayla’s son perspective, who was still a teen and had to learn to take care of his grandmother when Kayla needs a breather.
Although this is a work of fiction, it is also somewhat Dance’s memoir as she is currently caring for her partner who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She poured her experience and feelings into Mary and Kayla which made the story more relatable and heart breaking.
Thank you Netgalley and Dundurn Press for the arc.
December 31, 2021
This book was compelling, captivating and emotive.. it was so beautifully wirtten and had such a poignant message, I cried loads reading tis and will think about it for a while.
August 16, 2022
This book tried to do a lot, and didn’t end up doing much. Alzheimer’s, an interracial relationship between a white woman and a Black man in the 60-70s, their biracial children, multiple POVs including a dog’s?? Yes, you heard that right, a dog’s POV.
I felt the dog POV was super unecessary and distracting. I did not need to know what nasty item she thought would be nice to swallow or lick in each chapter. Nor did I need some made up dog pov on how to spell. TeeVee anyone?
The interracial relationship exploration is really thin in here. The husband has already passed, and their relationship is shown through the POV of the MC with Alzheimer’s, so what you get is that he experiences racism. Racism is bad. But doesn’t explore much into it, including the microaggressions, she as an older woman make towards her children, like mistaking her “darkest” (yes these are the words in the book) daughter and primary caregiver as the household help she had when she was younger. Someone else she realized was disadvantaged when she was younger, but her parents did good charity to hire this lady??? It feels like it keeps trying to get to the right moment with unpacking racism, but never reaches it.
You can tell it’s written by a white lady. How many times does she need to mention his beautiful dark skin? It starts to sound silly after a while. Yes, we get it. He was Black.
Anyways, it’s based off the author’s life and I kind of wish she wrote a memoir instead, and maybe talked about how she and her late husband navigated their relationship, or just stuck with writing about Alzheimer’s (I liked how she handled this topic! Hence the 2 star rather than the 1 star review) rather than both.
Thank you Dundurn Press for sending this book to me for an honest review.
I felt the dog POV was super unecessary and distracting. I did not need to know what nasty item she thought would be nice to swallow or lick in each chapter. Nor did I need some made up dog pov on how to spell. TeeVee anyone?
The interracial relationship exploration is really thin in here. The husband has already passed, and their relationship is shown through the POV of the MC with Alzheimer’s, so what you get is that he experiences racism. Racism is bad. But doesn’t explore much into it, including the microaggressions, she as an older woman make towards her children, like mistaking her “darkest” (yes these are the words in the book) daughter and primary caregiver as the household help she had when she was younger. Someone else she realized was disadvantaged when she was younger, but her parents did good charity to hire this lady??? It feels like it keeps trying to get to the right moment with unpacking racism, but never reaches it.
You can tell it’s written by a white lady. How many times does she need to mention his beautiful dark skin? It starts to sound silly after a while. Yes, we get it. He was Black.
Anyways, it’s based off the author’s life and I kind of wish she wrote a memoir instead, and maybe talked about how she and her late husband navigated their relationship, or just stuck with writing about Alzheimer’s (I liked how she handled this topic! Hence the 2 star rather than the 1 star review) rather than both.
Thank you Dundurn Press for sending this book to me for an honest review.
May 17, 2022
Thank you Netgalley and Dundurn Press for the opportunity to read and review this.
This is a touching story told from the point of view of Mary, her daughter Kayla, and Kayla's dog, Sage, as the family is hit with the news that Mary has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Throughout the story, we see Mary living her life with memories of the past, Kayla (and her son Jesse), as they struggle and adapt to look after Mary as her mind begins to deteriorate, and Sage who watches everything and does her best to comfort her humans.
To be honest, reading from the view of the family dog, Sage, I found a bit strange, but as the story progressed, it grew on me, as we see that pets (for those who have them), are very in tune with our emotions, and does what they can to comfort us their humans in time of emotional need.
This is a definite read, as it gives readers an insight into being a carer for those with Alzheimer’s (and Dementia), and the emotional struggle families go through to help their loved ones. It touches on sacrifice being made, and ultimately potential peace of mind of choices made.
This is a touching story told from the point of view of Mary, her daughter Kayla, and Kayla's dog, Sage, as the family is hit with the news that Mary has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Throughout the story, we see Mary living her life with memories of the past, Kayla (and her son Jesse), as they struggle and adapt to look after Mary as her mind begins to deteriorate, and Sage who watches everything and does her best to comfort her humans.
To be honest, reading from the view of the family dog, Sage, I found a bit strange, but as the story progressed, it grew on me, as we see that pets (for those who have them), are very in tune with our emotions, and does what they can to comfort us their humans in time of emotional need.
This is a definite read, as it gives readers an insight into being a carer for those with Alzheimer’s (and Dementia), and the emotional struggle families go through to help their loved ones. It touches on sacrifice being made, and ultimately potential peace of mind of choices made.
June 8, 2022
Author Jennifer Dance calls his her best book yet. It's fiction, but it's also her memoir - "Surprisingly, it’s nearly all true," she says in my Q&A with her. The book has it all - a powerful story (her first husband died after complications from an earlier skinhead attack, leaving main character Mary a widow with two small children and and a third on its way). The reason Mary is writing her memoir is that she is living with dementia and she wants to break her 40-plus year silence. It's an excellent read, told from various points of view, including that of Sage, the family's aging golden retriever, who is an amazing character.
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May 8, 2022
This amazing book combines the story of a family crisis from so many different and interesting perspectives: Mary the matriarch who is losing herself to Alzheimer's, Sage the aging golden retriever whose main "upright" is Mary's grandson Jesse, and Mary's youngest daughter Kayla who becomes primary caregiver. I'm currently studying to become an Elderly Patient Advocate, and a lot of the notes I took on this book will serve as a case study on Alzheimer's so for that I'm grateful, but also I got completely swept up in the way the family's bi-racial, multi-cultural drama gradually came to light, and also the ingenious way heroic Sage the dog's point-of-view was presented.
July 7, 2022
So many emotions with this book. I will admit that I decided to read this book because one of the narrators was a dog. Who wouldn't want to read a story largely narrated by a dog?? The writing was good but the dialog was so rudimentary that it was painful to read. I found out at the end of the book that the author had only written kids books up to this point and that explained the basic dialog. There's more I'd like to say about the book but I don't want to give anything away so I'll just say that if you're an animal lover, go for it. If you're interested in learning about dementia or Alzheimers, go for it. If you're looking for deep or clever dialog, skip it.
August 16, 2022
How do I review such an affecting fictionalized memoire. I loved it. The alternating POV's worked to move the story along. To have one of the POV's be Sage, the family dog, was brilliant. What's not to love about knowing what a golden retriever is thinking? I could relate to the imperfect characters. They were real. The rebellious, selfish teenage son. The frustrations, the love, the moments of joy. They touched me. I laughed and cried with them. I was there. This is one not to be missed.
July 12, 2022
Kudos to Jennifer Dance for her willingness to share the difficulties faced by care-givers for Alzheimer’s patients, especially when the patient is a family member. The observations by Sage, the family pet dog, provide unusual insight and many light moments. The writings of Mary as she remembers and lives again her past also help the reader understand what the disease means for the patient. This is a very valuable read for all people.
October 17, 2023
3.5
An important story about Alzheimer's, but the story shifted from fiction to non-fiction a bit too much. After a while I felt like the author wanted to tell me her life story asap.
Having said this, the novel was a good reflection of the emotional drain of being a caregiver to a family member, but also of those joyful moments.
An important story about Alzheimer's, but the story shifted from fiction to non-fiction a bit too much. After a while I felt like the author wanted to tell me her life story asap.
Having said this, the novel was a good reflection of the emotional drain of being a caregiver to a family member, but also of those joyful moments.
February 15, 2024
Alzheimers, racism, caregivers, and a dog. A look at a true life memoir enrobed in fiction. Loss and loss and loss again. A good look at the frustrations of a dedicated caregiver and her struggle to be a good caregiver, mother and sibling. I think that we all can relate from any of the perspectives portrayed.
May 28, 2022
Wonderful story showing many facets of a daughter/family dealing with a mother diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/dementia. As a daughter going through the beginning of this journey, it was heartfelt and a beautiful story.
November 9, 2025
This book is about a family whose mom has dementia… it’s told through the voice of the mom daughter and golden retriever. I loved hearing the dogs perspective on feelings of people and how she knows how to help.
November 13, 2022
Well crafted, informative, moving, and inspiring!
February 20, 2023
Beautifully written, heart warming, heartbreaking story.
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February 11, 2024Skimmed the last 65%. I liked that parts.were.writte from the dogs point of view but I was not enjoying trying to get through this, and it's depressing topic is so sad.
March 12, 2026
Sorry -not a great book. Too long for the plot line; not much going on.
June 26, 2026
😪💔 Dementia. These stories are so incredibly sad, but do show deep, deep love & humanity if we look.
May 16, 2022
Thank you Dundurn Press for my free copy of Gone but Still Here by Jennifer Dance.
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Mary is our lead protagonist in this story and she has Alzheimer’s disease. She is grappling with her new reality and the fact that she will forget all of the things she hasn’t told her children yet. Mary was in an interracial marriage — she is white and her husband was black — and unfortunately, they experienced racism and brutality due to their relationship. Mary’s husband tragically passes away when their children were young with another one on the way. She has swept the loss and the effects it had on her under the rug and avoided talking about the children’s father as they were growing up. But now that her memory is slipping away, she begins to work on her memoir so her children will know the beauty of the relationship she once had, the struggles she faced, and how grief continues to pull on her heart.
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This story was uniquely told through Mary’s perspective (memory lapses included), her daughter Kayla’s as she becomes Mary’s main caregiver, and Kayla’s dog Sage. I thought each of these perspectives were beautiful and gave invaluable insight into what it’s like to live with and manœuvrer through what Alzheimer’s throws at individuals. It gave me a deeper understanding of how frustrating it really is for the care recipient as well as the caregiver. On top of that, Sage’s perspective really added depth to the story by providing an outsider’s perspective that we don’t typically see. I think her chapters were some of my favourite; the phrases she uses to describe objects and how she’s trying to make sense of everything that’s happening in the family while never letting go of her loyalty to them.
⠀
Overall, it’s very heavy on the feelings. There’s laughter and joy, grief and despair, frustration and anxiety, among others. I’m glad I decided to pick this one up because the reading experience really surprised me. I definitely think it’s worth checking out!
⠀
Mary is our lead protagonist in this story and she has Alzheimer’s disease. She is grappling with her new reality and the fact that she will forget all of the things she hasn’t told her children yet. Mary was in an interracial marriage — she is white and her husband was black — and unfortunately, they experienced racism and brutality due to their relationship. Mary’s husband tragically passes away when their children were young with another one on the way. She has swept the loss and the effects it had on her under the rug and avoided talking about the children’s father as they were growing up. But now that her memory is slipping away, she begins to work on her memoir so her children will know the beauty of the relationship she once had, the struggles she faced, and how grief continues to pull on her heart.
⠀
This story was uniquely told through Mary’s perspective (memory lapses included), her daughter Kayla’s as she becomes Mary’s main caregiver, and Kayla’s dog Sage. I thought each of these perspectives were beautiful and gave invaluable insight into what it’s like to live with and manœuvrer through what Alzheimer’s throws at individuals. It gave me a deeper understanding of how frustrating it really is for the care recipient as well as the caregiver. On top of that, Sage’s perspective really added depth to the story by providing an outsider’s perspective that we don’t typically see. I think her chapters were some of my favourite; the phrases she uses to describe objects and how she’s trying to make sense of everything that’s happening in the family while never letting go of her loyalty to them.
⠀
Overall, it’s very heavy on the feelings. There’s laughter and joy, grief and despair, frustration and anxiety, among others. I’m glad I decided to pick this one up because the reading experience really surprised me. I definitely think it’s worth checking out!
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