Fragile and Flourishing

by Sana' K.C.N. Watts, Sana' Watts

I’m a Christian, someone who has transferred trust of her life to Jesus. A woman of faith. And it’s hard to hold my faith and my anxiety-depression in tension. My hold for a few years has been fragile.

No one wants to be fragile.

And yet, I’m learning that, maybe, fragility is not something to be despised, avoided, or hidden but treasured, embraced and put on display.

Some days, I have bold faith that embraces this fragility. But there are also days when I’m just weary and I can no longer outrun the anxiety and depression. My chest always hurts and I’m constantly on edge trying not to think; when despair has caught up with me and everything seems meaningless and I genuinely don’t want to live anymore.

I have gone to countries where being a Christian is not just rare but unsafe, and yet I haven’t feared death there. The death I fear is by my own hand.

Jesus loving me has made all the difference.

So what does this mean for you? Know that Jesus loving you makes a difference and I invite you into knowing how He does by sharing my story with you.

Read:
- Original poetry
- A vulnerable story of trusting Jesus in becoming and being a Christian
- Ways for Christians to think about mental illness, mental health and suicide

202 pages, Paperback

Published June 12, 2021

About the author

Sana' Watts is a follower of Jesus who enjoys joining the ultimate Creator in creating worlds with her words. She is passionate about the intersection of faith and mental health as well as coming alongside people in their faith journeys. Sana' is currently pursuing a Master’s of Psychospiritual Studies at Knox College with a specialisation in Spiritual Care and Psychotherapy. She is the award-winning author of Fragile and Flourishing and enjoys writing poetry and reflections upon faith in her life. Sana' is happily the wife of Desmond and mother to two children. She currently attends Church of the City Brampton and loves her city. You can find her on social media at @skcnwatts.

Reviews

[Sasha (bahareads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sana KCN Watts did the dang thing with Fragile and Flourishing. I was kept hooked from beginning to end. Watts writes a beautiful, raw memoir/poetry/theology/mental health work.
" my mental illness made the mundane meaningful
Straightening the sheets
Brushing my teeth
Toasting my waffles
Warming my son's bottle
Cleaning my home
Charging my phone
Are a declaration to death that I choose life
That there is abundance here more than strife
That I am certain that I will see the Lord's goodness in the
land of the living
And I see His goodness in all things
See, nothing is mundane to me anymore
Because everything is active faith"

I shed tears throughout Fragile and Flourishing. It's such a powerful story. Watt's vulnerability does a lot for the Christian community. She advocates for mental health awareness in the Christian community. Trigger warnings for anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. The flow of the book from poems, journal entries, symbols, and narratives helped the flow. As a reader, you won't get tired of reading Fragile and Flourishing. As a reader, you can feel that Watts has a beautiful spirit who is doing wonderful work for God's glory. It touched me to be more open and honest with my beliefs and struggles. I would love to read more from Watts in the future. She has Caribbean heritage, which she mentions briefly and that excited me even more. I would have loved to read more about her experiences in the church as a Black woman (especially after reading Carved in Ebony: Lessons from the Black Women Who Shape Us. ).

Thanks to the author for sharing her story with me, and allowing me to share it with yall!

[Somi Amamgbo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a sucker for quotes, and this book has so many to appreciate. I've always been amazed by the way Sana' KCN Watts is able to bring words together whether written or spoken. There is such depth to her vulnerability, and through this book she shares many nuggets of wisdom.

[Katlen (therosepetals__) · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I wasn't always this fragile. I wasn't always so easily broken. I wasn't always so needy. I wasn't always so dependent. I wasn't always so authentic, I wasn't always so real, I wasn't always so free. And I'll take freedom with fragility over slavery that looks like strength.”

I was already recommending this book after the first few pages. Watts has penned a beautifully-written, genre-bending book on the intersection of faith and mental health.

As a young adult Christian in ministry, I relate to aspects of her story. Depression and suicidal thoughts led me to find hope in Christ, but I also questioned why these thoughts continued after my conversion experience. Watts is brutally honest and courageously vulnerable in sharing her story of suicide ideation, anxiety and depression, faith, motherhood, ministry and so much more. I appreciate how she debunks myths in the Church surrounding mental health and raises awareness for faith communities. She always ties her reflections, experiences, and knowledge with Scripture. The book itself is very engaging with journal entries, symbols, charts, and poetry. My favourite poems were “Fragile” and “My Journey to Lament.” I honestly wanted to know more! Especially regarding her Caribbean heritage and her experiences as a Black Christian, as she only briefly touches on each. Nonetheless, I feel so honored that she would share her story with me, with the world. This book is a gift, an offering, an encouragement for our personal and collective healing.

[Kenzie | kenzienoelle.reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I wept reading this book. It was not a little tear in the corner of my eye. I sobbed. Why? Because it felt like Sana’ had read my journal.

*This book interweaves Sana’s story (and God’s story through her) along with her poetry. The poetry was SO powerful for me. Sana gets so real about her struggles and suffering but always points back to our Heavenly Father and how he’s working in her life.

*It always makes one feel less alone to hear someone’s story with similar struggles even if the circumstances that brought us there were very different. Thank you Sana for allowing me to read your story and for encouraging me more than you know!!

[Rykauna LaRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't read books very often, but this book was so well written that I couldn't put it down! The personal anecdotes and poems were so vulnerable and powerful! This book helped me to reflect not only on my own journey with faith and mental health, but also helped me to better understand my friends' struggles with mental health. This book helped me to better understand how the two realities of being fragile and flourishing can co-exist in the Christian life. I shared this book with a friend and she thoroughly enjoyed it as well!

[Nia Ita · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a refreshing breath of air written with a unique perspective that we need more of. Sana writes from the lens of a Black Christian woman who lives with mental illness. She shares her personal testimony and then delves into both the scripture and the research that lays a foundation for the truth that one can have both a personal relationship with Christ and contend with a mental illness, a point of view that stands contrary to the belief that mental illness is something that can be overcome with enough prayer.

[Saidah Vassell]

This book was a great read and it allowed me to dive deep into the mind of Sanaa. I was able to understand and empathize with the story that I only knew in bits and pieces before.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful story by a beautiful soul. "In accordance to the type of audience they resembled ... I would treat myself like a recipe, picking choosing different parts of me ... And then the creator of the universe, saw me there, and reminded me, that I have immeasurable value ... made in the very image of God"

Thank you for sharing God's goodness♥