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216 pages, Hardcover
First published March 1, 2022
When his father’s family had left their village in Palestine, the last thing his father had ever seen of that place was the road leading back to his house and a few stray dogs. We left, his father said, but the dogs stayed. And his father had looked behind at those strays and laughed. ~Stray Dogs
After reflecting on this for a while, I concluded that while my work was indeed about ephemerality, it was not about the ephemerality of the self. Rather, it examined the ephemerality of the image of the self. Every hybrid was a partial death, an incomplete acquisition of the original.
Lebanon’s renowned cuisine could well be considered one of the most diverse and healthy in the world. Well, without the wheat factor, of course. Wheat, or more precisely bread, is the country’s misdemeanour, perhaps even its unappreciated tragedy, alongside its unbearable rulers, noise, corruption, the constant threat of war and its mad traffic. It did not have to be this way.
In the car, she told Samir that his analysis of photography and Islam, a religion that forbade representation, could well be as offensive as his attempt to connect the meaning of Japanese photography to the ancient religion of Japan. If what you propose is true, then all meaning comes from history, and therefore our attempts to overcome the historical and social in our art have failed, and everything remains stagnant. Maybe in the Arab world that is the case, she added, but not in Japan.
Mother, Mother, Mother, I shouted as I banged at my parents’ bedroom door. She opened it wearing a flimsy, transparent robe that barely covered her thighs. My father lay under the quilt. I stood at the door and neither of my parents said a word. My mother did not go back to bed, and my father lit a cigarette, his lips transforming into a fuming locomotive hauling a chain of silent wagons, sliding doors open.
When I was sixteen, I convinced my cousin to chase falling bombs in the streets of Beirut with me. The objective was to get a photograph of a bomb before it reached the ground or landed on a building, on a car, on a street — before it caused death and mayhem. The camera was his, but we shared its use. The car we drove in pursuit of falling bombs was my father’s. Our attempts to capture these images never produced anything. We sent the film off for development, but all we got back were photographs of blue skies, clouds, roads and the tops of buildings. The decisive moment — to use Henri Cartier-Bresson’s famous expression — was not determined by our visual anticipation of what would come into the frame of the camera; our moment was decided by the sound of the bomb’s whistle. My cousin and I stood on highways, or in alleys between buildings, aiming our lens towards the trajectory of whistles.
Giuseppe stole a glance at the painting of the horse behind him and then at the man upon the horse. He hurriedly left the church by the back alley that led to his apartment. Perhaps one of his mother’s mysteries was in the process of explaining itself.
He was known as the dancing photographer — although some thoughtlessly called him the Monkey for his camera antics, his shrill screams of “Smile !”, his endless clicking, clicking. And soon the owner of the studio, Mike Gold, was less in demand than his assistant.
I thought of Zahra. I thought of my son, and then I thought of my existence. I passed the days that followed in fasting and prayer. No veil shall obstruct your light. I repeated this chant until the veil dropped and you were revealed to me.
He was a master of analog photography and in private would often theorize on the role theology and the Enlightenment had played in the evolution of the medium. Al Awad believed that humans’ obsession with the passage of time, our insistence that existence must mean something, was merely an attempt to preserve an image of our fleeting reality.
There is a disaster coming, and for the past twenty years I’ve been warning the authorities about it. No one believes me — but it will happen. It will happen tomorrow, July 9. The first tidal wave will hit the shore at 3: 45 p.m. sharp. The location? The Beirut shore. The tidal wave will decimate my place of birth, and I am excited to watch it happen.
The universe before his eyes, beautiful and wondrous as it was, did nothing to convince him that there was anything to discover beyond the self, the inner world that limited our relations with the outside world. How destructive and alienating, he thought, was that dialectical relation between the inner world of the self and the outer self of the world. Perhaps this was what lay at the heart of his decision to retreat to such a remote place. The best the outside world could offer the professor was the spectacle of a few changes and fleeting colours.