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Small: On Motherhoods
Claire Lynch knew having children with her wife would be complicated, but she was surprised by how much the process redrew her life. This dazzling debut begins with the smallest of life's substances, the microscopic cells subdividing in a petri dish in a fertility-treatment centre. Lynch moves through her story in incremental yet ever-growing steps, from the positive pregnancy-test result to the premature arrival of her children, who have to wear scale-model oxygen masks in their life-saving incubators. Poignant and observant—and funny against the odds—Lynch considers whether it is our smallness that makes our lives so big.
265 pages, Hardcover
First published June 24, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
September 18, 2021
SMALL by Claire Lynch blends life-and-death matters with everyday matters. It mixes poetry with prose and sometimes it's both at once. It's a book that is fraught with love, if you can imagine such a thing. It makes me feel the intense fragility of love. The mundane stolid daily-ness of love. I felt i was reading something honest and intense and new in every sentence. There is a universality in each of the particulars Claire Lynch chose to share on her path to becoming a parent. Wonderful.
September 25, 2022
Lovely, poetic, insightful
Even if you are not interested in motherhood or not a mother yourself I‘d like to recommend this book to you and give it a big shout-out: Treat yourself to this beautifully written book. It is a little hidden gem.
One thing I loved, loved, loved about „Small“ was a fresh and delightfully insightful view the author, Claire Lynch, gives us how young kids experience, explore and discover the new world into which they were born. It changed my own perception and opened a new road to experience wonder. I really liked how the author relates to the experiences of her kids and keeps an open mind. Her love comes off the pages wave after wave.
I also loved how the author challenges the traditional concepts of motherhood, of being a woman, of conception. Having kids as two women brings forth all kind of questions and insights. Her thoughts span generations. The setting is thoughtful and it all comes up organically.
The language, the stream of the narrative is unique, poetic, insightful and a delight to read.
Beware: The unusual formatting lends itself not well to reading this book on a kindle, esp. if you choose a larger print format. Don‘t know how this escaped the publisher, sigh!
Even if you are not interested in motherhood or not a mother yourself I‘d like to recommend this book to you and give it a big shout-out: Treat yourself to this beautifully written book. It is a little hidden gem.
One thing I loved, loved, loved about „Small“ was a fresh and delightfully insightful view the author, Claire Lynch, gives us how young kids experience, explore and discover the new world into which they were born. It changed my own perception and opened a new road to experience wonder. I really liked how the author relates to the experiences of her kids and keeps an open mind. Her love comes off the pages wave after wave.
I also loved how the author challenges the traditional concepts of motherhood, of being a woman, of conception. Having kids as two women brings forth all kind of questions and insights. Her thoughts span generations. The setting is thoughtful and it all comes up organically.
The language, the stream of the narrative is unique, poetic, insightful and a delight to read.
Beware: The unusual formatting lends itself not well to reading this book on a kindle, esp. if you choose a larger print format. Don‘t know how this escaped the publisher, sigh!
July 1, 2021
Today is my stop on the blogtour for 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕: 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚜 by Claire Lynch. Thank you to Anne Cater at Random Things Tours and Octopus Books for having me along and sending me a copy of this incredible book.
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𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚢, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎,
𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢,
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚘.
𝚃𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞?
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Sometimes a book comes along that is so special, that it's genuinely difficult to do it any justice in a review. Small is one such book.
The structure is beautiful, and almost poetic at times. With stunning inward and outwards reflections that relay life, as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, and so much more.
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𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚍𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜, 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚖.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚜, 𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 ...
𝚆𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎, 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚐𝚐𝚜, 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎.
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Throughout the book, Lynch tells the story of her and her partner, Beth's, journey through motherhood; from fertilisation and insemination, all the way through to the Coronavirus pandemic.
Her account is unflinching in it's honesty, and so joyfully recounts all the moments of innocence and candid beauty that shine through in day to day life.
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𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙, 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚜.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚗. 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ...
- 𝚆𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚜? 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔.
- 𝙳𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚞𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗?
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I found the reflections on guilt so moving - not just the typical parental or motherly guilt, which is heaped on women in spades as it is (whether you choose to be a mother or not, or indeed whether you even can be a mother or not), but also the guilt around miscarriage and baby loss.
Noone is a failure for not being able to carry a child to term, and noone who loses a baby does so through any fault on their part. Sadly, sometimes, this is something that happens no matter how hard you try.
It really felt to me that Claire and Beth make a perfect team in this respect. They each contribute to the pregnancy and raising their children in ways that many heterosexual couples won't ever have to consider, but their love for each other, and for their children even before they exist, really resonates throughout.
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𝚆𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜,
𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎.
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During Pride month, I have had some conversations with people about how things still aren't truly equal, despite the fact that gay marriage is now legal in the UK. I feel that Small highlighted some of these inequalities so accurately, because heteronormative relationships are still the default wherever you go, and whatever you do.
From attempting to register the births of your children, and being categorised as a partner rather than a Mother; to attending pre-natal classes and having to sit with the Dads because there is no specific space for you; to having to navigate the prejudice your children may face at school - it's important to recognise that yes things have come a long way, but there is still a way to go.
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𝙸𝚗 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑,
𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢.
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚕 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚝, 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜,
𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚘.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍, 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍.
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There were concise and interesting snippets of history, and practices from other cultures woven through the book, focussed on motherhood and loss, and I loved learning about these things alongside reading Lynch's story.
How women used to be able to determine if they were pregnant was particularly fascinating to me.
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𝚃𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚝, 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙴𝚐𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗.
𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚠, 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚢.
𝙽𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚗𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗.
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Lynch perfectly articulates how having small children around reminds you of yourself as a child, and how the world seemed an exciting and magical place. As we grow older we lose some of the ability to perceive the world as something wondrous, caught up as we are in the mundanity of the day to day, but through children you see the world with fresh eyes and open hearts again.
I loved the acknowledgement of new life both through Lynch's children, and also through her father following his liver transplant. He clearly has a special bond with Lynch's children as he also learns to navigate life anew.
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𝙸𝚜𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔? 𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜.
𝙿𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗, 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎.
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One final thing I want to touch on is Lynch's comment about how sometimes when she is out with her girls and without her partner, she does not correct other parents who assume her partner must be male, and feels some guilt for letting it slide.
Any member of the LGBTQIA+ community experiences facets of this, and it is exhausting and time consuming to correct people or challenge people every single time this happens, not least because it could also present a situation where your safety is at risk.
I hope Lynch knows that she is in no way less valid, or less true to herself through not correcting this in every scenario. It is never an LGBTQIA+ person's responsibility to educate other people, though sadly it often does fall to them to take up that role.
What I would say to any heterosexual and cisgender person reading this is please just consider the language you use, and think about how you can make people feel included, and not othered. Switching the gendered terms of 'husband' or 'wife' for partner, for example, isn't too big of a change for anyone to make.
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(Cont'd in comments)
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𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚢, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎,
𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢,
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚘.
𝚃𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞?
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Sometimes a book comes along that is so special, that it's genuinely difficult to do it any justice in a review. Small is one such book.
The structure is beautiful, and almost poetic at times. With stunning inward and outwards reflections that relay life, as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, and so much more.
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𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚍𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜, 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚖.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚜, 𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 ...
𝚆𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎, 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚐𝚐𝚜, 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎.
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Throughout the book, Lynch tells the story of her and her partner, Beth's, journey through motherhood; from fertilisation and insemination, all the way through to the Coronavirus pandemic.
Her account is unflinching in it's honesty, and so joyfully recounts all the moments of innocence and candid beauty that shine through in day to day life.
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𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚞𝚙, 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚜.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚗. 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ...
- 𝚆𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚜? 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔.
- 𝙳𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚞𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗?
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I found the reflections on guilt so moving - not just the typical parental or motherly guilt, which is heaped on women in spades as it is (whether you choose to be a mother or not, or indeed whether you even can be a mother or not), but also the guilt around miscarriage and baby loss.
Noone is a failure for not being able to carry a child to term, and noone who loses a baby does so through any fault on their part. Sadly, sometimes, this is something that happens no matter how hard you try.
It really felt to me that Claire and Beth make a perfect team in this respect. They each contribute to the pregnancy and raising their children in ways that many heterosexual couples won't ever have to consider, but their love for each other, and for their children even before they exist, really resonates throughout.
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𝚆𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢.
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜,
𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎.
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During Pride month, I have had some conversations with people about how things still aren't truly equal, despite the fact that gay marriage is now legal in the UK. I feel that Small highlighted some of these inequalities so accurately, because heteronormative relationships are still the default wherever you go, and whatever you do.
From attempting to register the births of your children, and being categorised as a partner rather than a Mother; to attending pre-natal classes and having to sit with the Dads because there is no specific space for you; to having to navigate the prejudice your children may face at school - it's important to recognise that yes things have come a long way, but there is still a way to go.
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𝙸𝚗 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑,
𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢.
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚕 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚝, 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜,
𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚘.
𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍, 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍.
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There were concise and interesting snippets of history, and practices from other cultures woven through the book, focussed on motherhood and loss, and I loved learning about these things alongside reading Lynch's story.
How women used to be able to determine if they were pregnant was particularly fascinating to me.
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𝚃𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚝, 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙴𝚐𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗.
𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚠, 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚢.
𝙽𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚗𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗.
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Lynch perfectly articulates how having small children around reminds you of yourself as a child, and how the world seemed an exciting and magical place. As we grow older we lose some of the ability to perceive the world as something wondrous, caught up as we are in the mundanity of the day to day, but through children you see the world with fresh eyes and open hearts again.
I loved the acknowledgement of new life both through Lynch's children, and also through her father following his liver transplant. He clearly has a special bond with Lynch's children as he also learns to navigate life anew.
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𝙸𝚜𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜, 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔? 𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜.
𝙿𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗, 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎.
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One final thing I want to touch on is Lynch's comment about how sometimes when she is out with her girls and without her partner, she does not correct other parents who assume her partner must be male, and feels some guilt for letting it slide.
Any member of the LGBTQIA+ community experiences facets of this, and it is exhausting and time consuming to correct people or challenge people every single time this happens, not least because it could also present a situation where your safety is at risk.
I hope Lynch knows that she is in no way less valid, or less true to herself through not correcting this in every scenario. It is never an LGBTQIA+ person's responsibility to educate other people, though sadly it often does fall to them to take up that role.
What I would say to any heterosexual and cisgender person reading this is please just consider the language you use, and think about how you can make people feel included, and not othered. Switching the gendered terms of 'husband' or 'wife' for partner, for example, isn't too big of a change for anyone to make.
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(Cont'd in comments)
October 7, 2021
The word “small” is a sort of totem here, a reminder of the microscopic processes and everyday miracles that go into making babies, as well as of the vulnerability of newborns – and of hope.
Lynch and her partner Beth became mothers via IVF. Lynch’s eggs were added to donor sperm to make the embryos implanted in Beth’s uterus. Mummy would have the genetic link, Mama the physical tie of carrying and birthing. It took more than three years of infertility treatment before they conceived their twin girls, born premature; they were followed by another daughter, creating a crazy but delightful female quintet. One of the most ironically funny parts of the book is when Lynch is grouped in with the dads at an antenatal class. The account of the time when their daughters were in incubators reminded me of Francesca Segal’s Mother Ship.
There are two intriguing structural choices that make small stand out. The first you’d notice from opening the book at random, or to page 1. It is written in a hybrid form, the phrases and sentences laid out more like poetry. Although there are some traditional expository paragraphs, more often the words are in stanzas or indented.
It’s a fast-flowing, artful style that may remind readers of Bernardine Evaristo’s work (and indeed, Evaristo gives one of the puffs). The second interesting decision was to make the book turn on a revelation: at the exact halfway mark we learn that, initially, the couple intended to have opposite roles: Lynch tried to get pregnant with Beth’s baby, but miscarried. Making this the pivot point of the memoir emphasizes the struggle and grief of this experience, even though we know that it had a happy ending.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
Lynch and her partner Beth became mothers via IVF. Lynch’s eggs were added to donor sperm to make the embryos implanted in Beth’s uterus. Mummy would have the genetic link, Mama the physical tie of carrying and birthing. It took more than three years of infertility treatment before they conceived their twin girls, born premature; they were followed by another daughter, creating a crazy but delightful female quintet. One of the most ironically funny parts of the book is when Lynch is grouped in with the dads at an antenatal class. The account of the time when their daughters were in incubators reminded me of Francesca Segal’s Mother Ship.
There are two intriguing structural choices that make small stand out. The first you’d notice from opening the book at random, or to page 1. It is written in a hybrid form, the phrases and sentences laid out more like poetry. Although there are some traditional expository paragraphs, more often the words are in stanzas or indented.
It’s a fast-flowing, artful style that may remind readers of Bernardine Evaristo’s work (and indeed, Evaristo gives one of the puffs). The second interesting decision was to make the book turn on a revelation: at the exact halfway mark we learn that, initially, the couple intended to have opposite roles: Lynch tried to get pregnant with Beth’s baby, but miscarried. Making this the pivot point of the memoir emphasizes the struggle and grief of this experience, even though we know that it had a happy ending.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
July 3, 2021
Oh my goodness the beauty of this book has completely stolen my heart! Filled to the brim with love and wonder and joy, it is a love-letter to motherhood, fragile tiny babies born too soon, queer families, and women, girls and daughters everywhere. This book reminded me of the absolute privilege it is to (like the author) also have 3 now not so small young people to care for, nurture and support as they grow up and slowly away from me. Just beautiful, a complete gift of a book!
June 2, 2022
The book chronicles the author's journey with her wife to have a baby through fertility. It reminds us that there's a lot of work to be done before parenthood begins. You are a parent from the very moment you make the decision to be one. If that's a long journey, then that's a long time where you're thinking about motherhood or parenthood before anything happens. The book deal with that life-on-hold experience as well as the struggles, the hopes, and devastations, of the fertility process,
One of my favorite passages is when she wrote, "Whether or not the treatment has worked, it has already changed us. This possible baby already staking its claim on our lives, displacing, at last, the imaginary one who has grown quietly in the shadows over all these years of waiting. I would know him anywhere, the small boy with dark curly hair, a dream child, a work of my imagination, a comfort, and cancer. The shadow baby has sat behind on us on each drive to the clinic. He's waited at the airport every time we've tried to go away to forget about him. He's always at family parties or crawling at the feet of friends when they announce the news of another pregnancy. I know other people have them too. I've seen a shadow baby on a woman's lap when her friends smirk knowingly as she orders an orange juice instead of a glass of wine. When conversations are swiftly changed about spare bedrooms going to waste or biological clocks ticking, you can see them snuggled in the crook of an elbow, resting on a hip."
To listen to my interview with the author. go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cla...
One of my favorite passages is when she wrote, "Whether or not the treatment has worked, it has already changed us. This possible baby already staking its claim on our lives, displacing, at last, the imaginary one who has grown quietly in the shadows over all these years of waiting. I would know him anywhere, the small boy with dark curly hair, a dream child, a work of my imagination, a comfort, and cancer. The shadow baby has sat behind on us on each drive to the clinic. He's waited at the airport every time we've tried to go away to forget about him. He's always at family parties or crawling at the feet of friends when they announce the news of another pregnancy. I know other people have them too. I've seen a shadow baby on a woman's lap when her friends smirk knowingly as she orders an orange juice instead of a glass of wine. When conversations are swiftly changed about spare bedrooms going to waste or biological clocks ticking, you can see them snuggled in the crook of an elbow, resting on a hip."
To listen to my interview with the author. go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cla...
July 26, 2021
ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴀɪɴ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛɪᴘꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʟᴀɴᴄᴇ.
ᴀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʏᴍᴍᴇᴛʀʏ.
Small On Motherhoods
By Claire Lynch.
The quote above really stuck with me as I remember saying something similar to my husband when we were expecting our second child!
What if this one is a whirlwind and she spoils the dynamics of our family?
In this book Lynch creates a beautiful almost poetic memoir of the thoughts and emotions she and her wife went through in the decision making of going through IVF treatment to expand their family.
The sensitivity that is written within each page allows your heart to swell with wonder and joy.
ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ,
ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ,
ᴏʀ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴠᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ.
ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ, ᴏʀ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ᴀ ꜰɪꜱᴛ.
I love the focus on the little things, the awareness a small child has, their innocence, the living in awe of their surroundings and for a young mum to stop and absorb this simple importance in the chaos.
Capturing moments of nothingness because after that moment they do actually mean the world.
That little bundle of energy becomes your whole world.
ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ.
ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ.
ɴᴏᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʀɪᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴏᴀᴅꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪꜱᴇᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ.
Becoming a new parent is the most amazing, scary, mind boggling thing you will ever do and this book sums the early stages up in a beautiful sensitive and funny way!
Claire considers whether it is our smallness that makes our lives so big.
After watching two ladies in my own family going through something very similar in this book I totally love them and admire them in facing the world in which we live in. Everyone has the right to have a family whether your family has two dads, two mums a mum and dad or single parents.
As long as the child is loved then that is all that matters.
🍼Memoir
🍼Same sex relationship
🍼IVF
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ from me!🤓
ᴀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʏᴍᴍᴇᴛʀʏ.
Small On Motherhoods
By Claire Lynch.
The quote above really stuck with me as I remember saying something similar to my husband when we were expecting our second child!
What if this one is a whirlwind and she spoils the dynamics of our family?
In this book Lynch creates a beautiful almost poetic memoir of the thoughts and emotions she and her wife went through in the decision making of going through IVF treatment to expand their family.
The sensitivity that is written within each page allows your heart to swell with wonder and joy.
ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ,
ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ,
ᴏʀ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴠᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ.
ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ, ᴏʀ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ᴀ ꜰɪꜱᴛ.
I love the focus on the little things, the awareness a small child has, their innocence, the living in awe of their surroundings and for a young mum to stop and absorb this simple importance in the chaos.
Capturing moments of nothingness because after that moment they do actually mean the world.
That little bundle of energy becomes your whole world.
ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ.
ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ.
ɴᴏᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʀɪᴠᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴏᴀᴅꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅɪꜱᴇᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ.
Becoming a new parent is the most amazing, scary, mind boggling thing you will ever do and this book sums the early stages up in a beautiful sensitive and funny way!
Claire considers whether it is our smallness that makes our lives so big.
After watching two ladies in my own family going through something very similar in this book I totally love them and admire them in facing the world in which we live in. Everyone has the right to have a family whether your family has two dads, two mums a mum and dad or single parents.
As long as the child is loved then that is all that matters.
🍼Memoir
🍼Same sex relationship
🍼IVF
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ from me!🤓
August 7, 2021
Claire knew that having children with her wife would be complicated and in this stunning debut she has documented the whole process from scientific start in a Petri dish through to first school days.
This book had a profound affect on me transporting me back to my early days as a mother, so much of it resonating with me and opening up forgotten moments. I have to admit upon finishing I did have a little cry in the bath whilst spending far too long scrolling through baby pictures of my son. I made the decision a long time ago that I only wanted one child but this beautiful love story had me mourning all those small and seemingly at the time insignificant moments that are now only to be repeated in memory. However, he quickly dragged me back from my nostalgia by interrupting my peace to tell me he has lost his school tie through the bathroom door 🤦🏻♀️.
This book is written in effortless prose, it dances across the page, literally with sentences spaced out diagonally to create added emphasis. I’m sure this unusual style has a fancy name but alas I do not know, please feel free to let me know in the comments.
Lynch writes with striking honesty in all aspects to undergoing failed IVF, to then watch her wife’s attempt succeed, her experiences as the partner in anti natal classes so obviously still centred around a mum/dad narrative and the experience of raising children in this complex and current strange world. Yet with that honesty there is also sprinkles of incredible wit and an abundance of love for her children making it so enjoyable to read.
It was beautiful and I could have continued reading for many more hours ❤️
This book had a profound affect on me transporting me back to my early days as a mother, so much of it resonating with me and opening up forgotten moments. I have to admit upon finishing I did have a little cry in the bath whilst spending far too long scrolling through baby pictures of my son. I made the decision a long time ago that I only wanted one child but this beautiful love story had me mourning all those small and seemingly at the time insignificant moments that are now only to be repeated in memory. However, he quickly dragged me back from my nostalgia by interrupting my peace to tell me he has lost his school tie through the bathroom door 🤦🏻♀️.
This book is written in effortless prose, it dances across the page, literally with sentences spaced out diagonally to create added emphasis. I’m sure this unusual style has a fancy name but alas I do not know, please feel free to let me know in the comments.
Lynch writes with striking honesty in all aspects to undergoing failed IVF, to then watch her wife’s attempt succeed, her experiences as the partner in anti natal classes so obviously still centred around a mum/dad narrative and the experience of raising children in this complex and current strange world. Yet with that honesty there is also sprinkles of incredible wit and an abundance of love for her children making it so enjoyable to read.
It was beautiful and I could have continued reading for many more hours ❤️
July 9, 2021
𝗦𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹: 𝗢𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀 𝗯𝘆 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗟𝘆𝗻𝗰𝗵
👶🏻👶🏽👶🏾👶🏿👶🏼
A massive thank you to @annecater14 @clairellynch and @octopus_books for my #gifted copy for @randomthingstours
Oh gosh this memoir is just emotional. I cannot lie, I had quite a rollercoaster of a time with my feelings in this amazing non-fiction all about Motherhoods.
Claire's narrative is just so raw and beautifully poetic as well. I not once felt I was reading a memoir but just a story of two wonderful women and their journey to being mothers.
This is a book that packs a punch and leaves you nodding your head in understand, then absolutely shocked at some revelations too. I'm in awe with all women and families who've had to go through IVF treatment and the turmoil it is to get that precious life you desperately want. I am very privileged to have had conceived quickly and unexpectedly with my daughter. Yet I've always felt I never had the 'perfect pregnancy' that many seem to have. But when I read Claire and her wifes story of how they got ther 3 beautiful children it really opened my eyes at how privileged my pregnancy was. I was a mess with many parts of this memoir but one that resonated with me was when these two new mums had to go through 2 prem babies and being in NICU. My baby was a NICU baby and everything Claire described and felt, I was transported right back to me and Alice and what happened with my girl. The guilt that was mentioned, Omg I knew exactly what these two felt. Tbh I still feel the guilt, for so many different reasons.
Now I know I said this is an emotional ride and it is, but it's not all sad. There are so many beautiful moments, of finding out there pregnant, twins and then expanding there family. The love these two women have for their children and each other is beautiful and I am in awe with this family. There are some hillarous moments, some sad moments and extremely important moments too.
I liked that we had Claire's narrative on motherhood, but also scientific facts about IVF and many other things. Also the history aswell. I had no idea that Ancient Egyptian Women would pee in bags of grain to find out if they are pregnant or not. "𝚃𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚝, 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙴𝚐𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚠, 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚢. 𝙽𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚗𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗." Also the history with rabbits and frogs was quite fascinating and distubring at the same time.
This memoir is wonderful and there was so much that I learnt from. One thing that I never ever even considered was about registering your child when it is with the same sex parents. They don't register mother and mother, or father and father like they indeed are. But instead it's mother/father and partner. I never even considered that and now having it open my eyes, it makes question why they hell aren't they given the roles they are? What is wrong with the same sex parents? It doesn't make them any less a parent. Also with baby groups or antenatal groups. That the partner had to play the father role. Again why does things have to be mother and fathers. We're in a world now where it is much more than just that! Another thing that got me was how Claire never corrected others when they assumed that the baby has a father. Why do we say husband and wife and make that instant assumption!? Saying partner is much better and not everyone is married or wants to be!
These little things that get put in this book makes you equally understanding and also questioning the way the world is like and how much we need to still change.
No amount of words can explain how fantastic this book is, so instead of reading my review, pick up this book. You will not be regretting it. I felt like I wasn't reading non-fiction and I just loved to have a bit of insight in Claire and Beth's life, and how wonderful these ladies are.
👶🏻👶🏽👶🏾👶🏿👶🏼
A massive thank you to @annecater14 @clairellynch and @octopus_books for my #gifted copy for @randomthingstours
Oh gosh this memoir is just emotional. I cannot lie, I had quite a rollercoaster of a time with my feelings in this amazing non-fiction all about Motherhoods.
Claire's narrative is just so raw and beautifully poetic as well. I not once felt I was reading a memoir but just a story of two wonderful women and their journey to being mothers.
This is a book that packs a punch and leaves you nodding your head in understand, then absolutely shocked at some revelations too. I'm in awe with all women and families who've had to go through IVF treatment and the turmoil it is to get that precious life you desperately want. I am very privileged to have had conceived quickly and unexpectedly with my daughter. Yet I've always felt I never had the 'perfect pregnancy' that many seem to have. But when I read Claire and her wifes story of how they got ther 3 beautiful children it really opened my eyes at how privileged my pregnancy was. I was a mess with many parts of this memoir but one that resonated with me was when these two new mums had to go through 2 prem babies and being in NICU. My baby was a NICU baby and everything Claire described and felt, I was transported right back to me and Alice and what happened with my girl. The guilt that was mentioned, Omg I knew exactly what these two felt. Tbh I still feel the guilt, for so many different reasons.
Now I know I said this is an emotional ride and it is, but it's not all sad. There are so many beautiful moments, of finding out there pregnant, twins and then expanding there family. The love these two women have for their children and each other is beautiful and I am in awe with this family. There are some hillarous moments, some sad moments and extremely important moments too.
I liked that we had Claire's narrative on motherhood, but also scientific facts about IVF and many other things. Also the history aswell. I had no idea that Ancient Egyptian Women would pee in bags of grain to find out if they are pregnant or not. "𝚃𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚝, 𝚊𝚗 𝙰𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙴𝚐𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗. 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕, 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚠, 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚢. 𝙽𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚗𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗." Also the history with rabbits and frogs was quite fascinating and distubring at the same time.
This memoir is wonderful and there was so much that I learnt from. One thing that I never ever even considered was about registering your child when it is with the same sex parents. They don't register mother and mother, or father and father like they indeed are. But instead it's mother/father and partner. I never even considered that and now having it open my eyes, it makes question why they hell aren't they given the roles they are? What is wrong with the same sex parents? It doesn't make them any less a parent. Also with baby groups or antenatal groups. That the partner had to play the father role. Again why does things have to be mother and fathers. We're in a world now where it is much more than just that! Another thing that got me was how Claire never corrected others when they assumed that the baby has a father. Why do we say husband and wife and make that instant assumption!? Saying partner is much better and not everyone is married or wants to be!
These little things that get put in this book makes you equally understanding and also questioning the way the world is like and how much we need to still change.
No amount of words can explain how fantastic this book is, so instead of reading my review, pick up this book. You will not be regretting it. I felt like I wasn't reading non-fiction and I just loved to have a bit of insight in Claire and Beth's life, and how wonderful these ladies are.
October 24, 2023
Claire Lynch's Small: On motherhoods is a truly special book - an honest, unapologetic diary of the author's experiences of IVF, loss, having a premature baby and navigating motherhood as a same sex couple.
The author speaks plainly about her feelings, clearly relishing not having to worry about being polite or making things uncomfortable when someone asks an intrusive question or when she encounters yet another way in which the world fails to recognise and make room for families like hers. She pokes fun at the ways in which her role as a mother who is not pregnant is erased, whilst highlighting the pain this causes; her description of antenatal classes - where she is lumped in with the dads because the teacher doesn't know what to do with her - is both hilarious and appalling.
This balance of humour and reflection meant that I was frequently reading particularly amusing excerpts out loud to my husband, then, often on the same page, highlighting profound observations about motherhood to share with my mum friends.
The motif of smallness recurs throughout the book: the microscopic process by which IVF occurs; the size of Lynch's twin daughters, born at 31 weeks; the miniscule yet seismic shifts which mean your child is constantly metamorphosing, a new person everyday. Lynch combines huge, overwhelming themes with tiny, ordinary details, and the result is compelling. While some of her experiences are very specific, and I couldn't personally relate to them, I really appreciate having my eyes opened. In particular, the chapters spent on Lynch and her wife, Beth's, time spent occupying the liminal space of the parents of a premature baby were exquisitely written and incredibly poignant.
Moreover, much of what she talks about is universal, and I had many moments of recognition, such as when she spoke about the friction and resentment between the parent going to work and the one staying at home with the baby, and her moving reflection on what it is to watch a baby become a little girl and all the joy and fear bound up in watching her discover the world.
The prose flows off the page like poetry, reminding me of Bernadine Evaristo's Girl, Woman, Other. Every sentence is carefully crafted, every line break deliberate and purposeful.
Thank you to Claire Lynch for writing such an honest, wonderful book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Octopus Publishing for the opportunity to read and review this book.
The author speaks plainly about her feelings, clearly relishing not having to worry about being polite or making things uncomfortable when someone asks an intrusive question or when she encounters yet another way in which the world fails to recognise and make room for families like hers. She pokes fun at the ways in which her role as a mother who is not pregnant is erased, whilst highlighting the pain this causes; her description of antenatal classes - where she is lumped in with the dads because the teacher doesn't know what to do with her - is both hilarious and appalling.
This balance of humour and reflection meant that I was frequently reading particularly amusing excerpts out loud to my husband, then, often on the same page, highlighting profound observations about motherhood to share with my mum friends.
The motif of smallness recurs throughout the book: the microscopic process by which IVF occurs; the size of Lynch's twin daughters, born at 31 weeks; the miniscule yet seismic shifts which mean your child is constantly metamorphosing, a new person everyday. Lynch combines huge, overwhelming themes with tiny, ordinary details, and the result is compelling. While some of her experiences are very specific, and I couldn't personally relate to them, I really appreciate having my eyes opened. In particular, the chapters spent on Lynch and her wife, Beth's, time spent occupying the liminal space of the parents of a premature baby were exquisitely written and incredibly poignant.
Moreover, much of what she talks about is universal, and I had many moments of recognition, such as when she spoke about the friction and resentment between the parent going to work and the one staying at home with the baby, and her moving reflection on what it is to watch a baby become a little girl and all the joy and fear bound up in watching her discover the world.
The prose flows off the page like poetry, reminding me of Bernadine Evaristo's Girl, Woman, Other. Every sentence is carefully crafted, every line break deliberate and purposeful.
Thank you to Claire Lynch for writing such an honest, wonderful book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Octopus Publishing for the opportunity to read and review this book.
October 8, 2021
This is one of the most moving, perceptive and lyrical books I have ever read. It was a total eyeopener too, an account of a lesbian couple going through fertility treatment, having children and navigating parenthood.
Beautiful sentences ..'then we are apart the four of us separated in different places after hospital blasted into fractions of the whole' .
The other thing is motherhood is not just a body. The insult of being treated as a dad when you are in fact another and should’ve been sat with the mothers. ( ante natal classes)
So so poignant that she recognised the twins by the small things the hospital has stuck on our into them And the beautiful message you give them reassuring them that they are still together don’t worry and I’m here mummy is here and for the first time I am
Space babies, Curds ties in the futuristic pads modern incubators are remarkable pieces of equipment, they have heat pads and cooling systems to control and regulate the babies temperature.
Movement sensors and humidity controls yet even with all the scientific wizardry, at night nurses pace handmade quilts on top of them.... chucking the babies in like budgerigars.
I love how she tells us the history of things like the incubators ( farming) it’s so perceptive and then she links to the idea of runts of the litter and wasn’t worth bothering about them and then I love how she talks about going back to her house which is now turned into a museum of a previous life and how there’s no time to call anybody, no champagne just a cup of tea and a bath
'They keep the smallest people in a room that is like no other place you have been. The soft silence of a dozen sleeping babies, the noise of countless machines bleeping, pumping, checking. All the bustle and busyness of rubber soles squeaking on the floor, hushed phone calls, trolley wheels, taps running. The machines that monitor the undercooked babies are musical, dingdong doorbell chimes on ElectroBeats, filling the room with space age lullabies.'
'Maybe the worst thing you can do to your children is to look at them too closely, making them the beginning and the end of who you are. The time will come, one day, when they will want to look back at you too. To find a person, not just a parent.'
That’s when you hear them… The melody of all yourself doubt – ringing in your ears
Beautiful sentences ..'then we are apart the four of us separated in different places after hospital blasted into fractions of the whole' .
The other thing is motherhood is not just a body. The insult of being treated as a dad when you are in fact another and should’ve been sat with the mothers. ( ante natal classes)
So so poignant that she recognised the twins by the small things the hospital has stuck on our into them And the beautiful message you give them reassuring them that they are still together don’t worry and I’m here mummy is here and for the first time I am
Space babies, Curds ties in the futuristic pads modern incubators are remarkable pieces of equipment, they have heat pads and cooling systems to control and regulate the babies temperature.
Movement sensors and humidity controls yet even with all the scientific wizardry, at night nurses pace handmade quilts on top of them.... chucking the babies in like budgerigars.
I love how she tells us the history of things like the incubators ( farming) it’s so perceptive and then she links to the idea of runts of the litter and wasn’t worth bothering about them and then I love how she talks about going back to her house which is now turned into a museum of a previous life and how there’s no time to call anybody, no champagne just a cup of tea and a bath
'They keep the smallest people in a room that is like no other place you have been. The soft silence of a dozen sleeping babies, the noise of countless machines bleeping, pumping, checking. All the bustle and busyness of rubber soles squeaking on the floor, hushed phone calls, trolley wheels, taps running. The machines that monitor the undercooked babies are musical, dingdong doorbell chimes on ElectroBeats, filling the room with space age lullabies.'
'Maybe the worst thing you can do to your children is to look at them too closely, making them the beginning and the end of who you are. The time will come, one day, when they will want to look back at you too. To find a person, not just a parent.'
That’s when you hear them… The melody of all yourself doubt – ringing in your ears
June 28, 2021
Writing about motherhood is underrated. Indeed, why one would love to write and find people to read about such a private, life-wrecking experience? My honest answer is because motherhood(s) are so different, as different as the humans writing their own motherhood stories.
This story starts with the moment a woman decides - consciously or not - of having the baby. All the adjustment taking place into her life and her body, the interactions and even the smallest life decisions - like what to eat, wear and buy - are from now on preset. We may not know or talk too much about it, but that´s how it is. Motherhood follows its own secretive ways. Always.
Small. On Motherhoods, the outstanding debut by Claire Lynch was for me such a literary revelation. I rarely think or write about my own motherhood. Not because I don´t think it is worth doing it, but because I am so much stuck into the process that I cannot see clearly out of it. I am still lacking that clarity for making assumptions and uttering whole paragraphs about it. But books like Small can do it.
Written in a poetic modernist style, the book reflects the long journey that Lynch started, together with her female partner for having their own baby. From finding the right donor to adjusting to the life after, all is done in small steps. Everything is small first. The babies too.
Besides the particular experience she is sharing - which is not necessarily singular, as there are so many single women or female same-sex couples being in similar situations - the writing itself is the best choice for reflecting such a complex phenomenon. It genuinely embraces the complexity of the phenomenon, without failing in the dramatic trap. It is as natural as the life flow but without diminishing the complexities.
In fact, you don´t even have to be a mother to understand this book. You just need to be open to embrace the story of a different experience and learn from it.
Small, indeed, but so relevant and poignant.
Disclaimer: Book offered part of a blog tour, but the opinions are, as usual, my own
This story starts with the moment a woman decides - consciously or not - of having the baby. All the adjustment taking place into her life and her body, the interactions and even the smallest life decisions - like what to eat, wear and buy - are from now on preset. We may not know or talk too much about it, but that´s how it is. Motherhood follows its own secretive ways. Always.
Small. On Motherhoods, the outstanding debut by Claire Lynch was for me such a literary revelation. I rarely think or write about my own motherhood. Not because I don´t think it is worth doing it, but because I am so much stuck into the process that I cannot see clearly out of it. I am still lacking that clarity for making assumptions and uttering whole paragraphs about it. But books like Small can do it.
Written in a poetic modernist style, the book reflects the long journey that Lynch started, together with her female partner for having their own baby. From finding the right donor to adjusting to the life after, all is done in small steps. Everything is small first. The babies too.
Besides the particular experience she is sharing - which is not necessarily singular, as there are so many single women or female same-sex couples being in similar situations - the writing itself is the best choice for reflecting such a complex phenomenon. It genuinely embraces the complexity of the phenomenon, without failing in the dramatic trap. It is as natural as the life flow but without diminishing the complexities.
In fact, you don´t even have to be a mother to understand this book. You just need to be open to embrace the story of a different experience and learn from it.
Small, indeed, but so relevant and poignant.
Disclaimer: Book offered part of a blog tour, but the opinions are, as usual, my own
July 8, 2021
I absolutely loved this book I was lucky enough to be sent an early copy to review and I so glad that I did .I wouldn’t usually pick up a book that wasn’t fiction and I would therefore have missed out on this little gem otherwise
The book is a tender poetic song on the subject of motherhood that should appeal to parents of any gender or orientation .The author couldn’t like many of us casually make a baby ,it required planning and endless trips to clinics to conceive .The medicalisation of conception necessary in this family’s case as both parents are women .
The book describes the intricacies of in vitro fertilisation followed after initial miscarriage by a twin pregnancy ending in a moderately premature birth
I loved the way the prose was written in short sections and interesting spacing of the words .This really added to the experience reading the book .my one concern would be that this often does not come off well in kindle format and this must be closely reviewed before publication.I’ve read Booker prize listed books for example where it proved almost impossible to appreciate the beauty of a book because of this over sight .
The author has the ability to record the tiny incidents of childhood that most charm And that are universal to the job of parenting .I recognised so many things that had happened almost identically to me when mr children were small
The particular needs of a two women pregnancy and family were shown here so clearly that i feel the book should be required reading for midwives and staff on neonatal
Units .The discomfort of the parenting group midwife when faced with 2 women for example could be avoided by such simple measures that it made me sad that this family had to feel uncomfortable.not having scrubs for the mother supporting in Caesarian section in women’s sizes would be an example .
I am a retired consultant Neonatologist and reading this book quite apart from being an enjoyable read gave me valuable insight into the challenges facing all parents but in particular those embarking on their family life via different more diverse routes.
The book was published on 24th June 2021 by Orchard books
The book is a tender poetic song on the subject of motherhood that should appeal to parents of any gender or orientation .The author couldn’t like many of us casually make a baby ,it required planning and endless trips to clinics to conceive .The medicalisation of conception necessary in this family’s case as both parents are women .
The book describes the intricacies of in vitro fertilisation followed after initial miscarriage by a twin pregnancy ending in a moderately premature birth
I loved the way the prose was written in short sections and interesting spacing of the words .This really added to the experience reading the book .my one concern would be that this often does not come off well in kindle format and this must be closely reviewed before publication.I’ve read Booker prize listed books for example where it proved almost impossible to appreciate the beauty of a book because of this over sight .
The author has the ability to record the tiny incidents of childhood that most charm And that are universal to the job of parenting .I recognised so many things that had happened almost identically to me when mr children were small
The particular needs of a two women pregnancy and family were shown here so clearly that i feel the book should be required reading for midwives and staff on neonatal
Units .The discomfort of the parenting group midwife when faced with 2 women for example could be avoided by such simple measures that it made me sad that this family had to feel uncomfortable.not having scrubs for the mother supporting in Caesarian section in women’s sizes would be an example .
I am a retired consultant Neonatologist and reading this book quite apart from being an enjoyable read gave me valuable insight into the challenges facing all parents but in particular those embarking on their family life via different more diverse routes.
The book was published on 24th June 2021 by Orchard books
September 20, 2021
(4.5) Thank you to Claire Lynch and Octopus Publishing for a copy to review.
Babies who are this small, he says, have a good chance of survival. Small is not good for babies. It is not whimsical or cute or the cause of admiration. It is the first time it occurs to us that they might not survive. Babies die from smallness.
I really enjoyed this book. It's an interesting exploration of motherhood, through a lens I hadn't even read it before. I'm not usually that interested in memoirs about motherhood because I think they are usually quite self-involved and single-focused. This is not an inherently bad thing but it doesn't interest me very much. This is a memoir of Claire and her wife's journey through conception and them becoming parents. It explores the nuances and emotional complexity of IVF, parenthood and being in an lgbt relationship with children. There's a perfect balance of parenthood as a universal experience and the unique challenges of being two women trying to have and raise a baby. I hadn't even considered some of the issues that are mentioned, such as registering your child. They didn't register mother and mother (like it might be mother and father for a straight partnership), but instead, it's mother and partner. The book represents motherhood as a raw, life-wrecking, beautiful, chaotic, private experience.
Maybe the worst thing you can do to your children is look at them too closely, making them the beginning and the end of who you are. The time will come, one day, when they will want to look back at you too. To find a person, not just a parent. How do you make sure you'll still be there when they come to find you?
Babies who are this small, he says, have a good chance of survival. Small is not good for babies. It is not whimsical or cute or the cause of admiration. It is the first time it occurs to us that they might not survive. Babies die from smallness.
I really enjoyed this book. It's an interesting exploration of motherhood, through a lens I hadn't even read it before. I'm not usually that interested in memoirs about motherhood because I think they are usually quite self-involved and single-focused. This is not an inherently bad thing but it doesn't interest me very much. This is a memoir of Claire and her wife's journey through conception and them becoming parents. It explores the nuances and emotional complexity of IVF, parenthood and being in an lgbt relationship with children. There's a perfect balance of parenthood as a universal experience and the unique challenges of being two women trying to have and raise a baby. I hadn't even considered some of the issues that are mentioned, such as registering your child. They didn't register mother and mother (like it might be mother and father for a straight partnership), but instead, it's mother and partner. The book represents motherhood as a raw, life-wrecking, beautiful, chaotic, private experience.
Maybe the worst thing you can do to your children is look at them too closely, making them the beginning and the end of who you are. The time will come, one day, when they will want to look back at you too. To find a person, not just a parent. How do you make sure you'll still be there when they come to find you?
July 23, 2021
‘I had been trained all my life to treat motherhood as an inevitability. Misled to believe any alternative was either an eccentricity or tragedy… the blessed assumption that mothers and women are the same thing… There are so many other women to be. The woman who is the best aunt in the world’.
I come to the world of motherhoods from an external perspective. However, as soon as I started reading ‘Small’, I knew that Claire was speaking to all women, regardless of their choices, or lack of choices, related to motherhood.
I came to ‘Small’ eager to learn. ‘Small’ is the autobiographical account of the experiences of Claire and her wife in conceiving, birthing, embracing, raising, and loving their small humans. It is a relatable and honest account of cultivating and raising a diverse modern family. The book deals with some challenging themes around fertility, miscarriage, the judgement of motherhood (in all its forms), the stereotypes applied to family life, and the bravery it takes to forge your own path into parenthood, or indeed, the choice not to.
I was really affected by Claire’s honesty, openness, acceptance of diversity, and the absolute beauty of how she places words on a page, (it is astonishingly beautiful). Using the medium of prose interspersed with poetry and waterfalls of words, I felt welcomed in. Her writing style is accessible whilst at the same time being very compelling.
It is a fiercely feminist and empowering read and I learned a great deal from it. It's magic, and definitely a book to be passed around.
I come to the world of motherhoods from an external perspective. However, as soon as I started reading ‘Small’, I knew that Claire was speaking to all women, regardless of their choices, or lack of choices, related to motherhood.
I came to ‘Small’ eager to learn. ‘Small’ is the autobiographical account of the experiences of Claire and her wife in conceiving, birthing, embracing, raising, and loving their small humans. It is a relatable and honest account of cultivating and raising a diverse modern family. The book deals with some challenging themes around fertility, miscarriage, the judgement of motherhood (in all its forms), the stereotypes applied to family life, and the bravery it takes to forge your own path into parenthood, or indeed, the choice not to.
I was really affected by Claire’s honesty, openness, acceptance of diversity, and the absolute beauty of how she places words on a page, (it is astonishingly beautiful). Using the medium of prose interspersed with poetry and waterfalls of words, I felt welcomed in. Her writing style is accessible whilst at the same time being very compelling.
It is a fiercely feminist and empowering read and I learned a great deal from it. It's magic, and definitely a book to be passed around.
May 14, 2023
I came across this book randomly in a bookshop and I knew I was going to love it as soon as I read the poem on the first page. I cherished it like a box of chocolate truffles. It was my comfort book that I allowed myself to read in small chunks as a reward, or when I felt sad. I enjoyed its raw quality, despite the fact that it's not exactly cheerful. There are passages (especially last couple of chapters) that make you question perceived stereotypes and status quo around motherhood in general.
Small is compiled of emotional, meaningful and very well thought out diary entries. It takes you on a journey of a same-sex couple through their struggle to conceive, miscarriage, grief, premature birth, and motherhood. This couple is met with misunderstanding and prejudice in medical setting as well as their everyday private lives. It questions the legitimacy of 'unorthodox' mothers in a way that resonated with me, even though I have no experience in this area.
What I loved about this book the most is that certain sentences hit just right; I was tempted to get a highlighter and highlight away so that I could quote those passages in the future. The text is powerful and yet fragile (if that even makes sense). It reads like a poetry; and I enjoyed it a lot better than majority of actual poetry books that I got last year and haven't forced myself to finish.
This was one of the best books I read in a long time. Raw, emotional, genuine, powerful.
Small is compiled of emotional, meaningful and very well thought out diary entries. It takes you on a journey of a same-sex couple through their struggle to conceive, miscarriage, grief, premature birth, and motherhood. This couple is met with misunderstanding and prejudice in medical setting as well as their everyday private lives. It questions the legitimacy of 'unorthodox' mothers in a way that resonated with me, even though I have no experience in this area.
What I loved about this book the most is that certain sentences hit just right; I was tempted to get a highlighter and highlight away so that I could quote those passages in the future. The text is powerful and yet fragile (if that even makes sense). It reads like a poetry; and I enjoyed it a lot better than majority of actual poetry books that I got last year and haven't forced myself to finish.
This was one of the best books I read in a long time. Raw, emotional, genuine, powerful.
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September 15, 2024This was really interesting. I've been trying to read more about queer motherhood because I'm queer and I want to be a mother, and I feel like there aren't a lot of books about it -- or if they are, they are hard to find. I found out about this from The Guardian and had to order it from the UK so...
I didn't expect this to be written in a mix of prose and poetry, which I have to say made it a little hard to understand details at times. I'm also just not a poetry girlie. I would've loved like a conventional motherhood memoir, but queer, and this isn't that -- which doesn't make it bad! It's way more small press, experimental, focusing on small and big moments. It actually made me a bit melancholy, which I didn't expect, but it was hard to stop.
I don't feel that I got like any specific insight into queer motherhood, but it's more about this author's specific experiences, and it feels like a beautiful piece to have for her daughters. I'm thinking a lot about my mother, about what it must've been like when I was a baby, about whether or not she'll be here when I have kids. So a bit melancholy!
I didn't expect this to be written in a mix of prose and poetry, which I have to say made it a little hard to understand details at times. I'm also just not a poetry girlie. I would've loved like a conventional motherhood memoir, but queer, and this isn't that -- which doesn't make it bad! It's way more small press, experimental, focusing on small and big moments. It actually made me a bit melancholy, which I didn't expect, but it was hard to stop.
I don't feel that I got like any specific insight into queer motherhood, but it's more about this author's specific experiences, and it feels like a beautiful piece to have for her daughters. I'm thinking a lot about my mother, about what it must've been like when I was a baby, about whether or not she'll be here when I have kids. So a bit melancholy!
June 14, 2022
I read Claire Lynch’s “Small: On motherhoods” in almost one sitting, pulled along by its poetic descriptions of the complicated beauty of becoming a mother. Complicated, because when two women decide they want to be mothers, it must be pre-meditated at the most granular level. Complicated, because for Lynch and her wife, the creation and birth of their daughters followed a period of loss. Complicated, because life - prematurity, sickness, work, society’s reactions to queer motherhood - are entwined with this most mundane of miracles.
All mothers will recognise Lynch’s raw and lyrical account of the seismic shift in self that occurs when you become a mother, and the reconciling and dreaming and worry that characterise matrescence.
I have so much time for these stories of “slanted motherhood” - mothers whose paths deviate them from the mainstream. I find solidarity and understanding, even when the journeys are very different from my own. And when they are told this well…it is a joy.
All mothers will recognise Lynch’s raw and lyrical account of the seismic shift in self that occurs when you become a mother, and the reconciling and dreaming and worry that characterise matrescence.
I have so much time for these stories of “slanted motherhood” - mothers whose paths deviate them from the mainstream. I find solidarity and understanding, even when the journeys are very different from my own. And when they are told this well…it is a joy.
June 26, 2021
I was a bit worried when I opened this to an original poem, expecting a dense literary memoir I'd have to wade through, but my worries were misplaced. The prose was artful but light, packing emotion (and humour!) in short, arresting sentences. A lovely ode to motherhood.
I was listening to Ta-Nehisi Coate's Between the World and Me at the same time as reading this, and was struck by the similarities: both love letters laced with fear from a parent to a child, in beautiful, poetic language despite the huge differences context (culture, race, sexuality, gender).
Overall, highly recommend - I didn't eat dinner until 9pm because I was enjoying reading this too much.
I was listening to Ta-Nehisi Coate's Between the World and Me at the same time as reading this, and was struck by the similarities: both love letters laced with fear from a parent to a child, in beautiful, poetic language despite the huge differences context (culture, race, sexuality, gender).
Overall, highly recommend - I didn't eat dinner until 9pm because I was enjoying reading this too much.
July 9, 2021
I didn’t expect this book to be what it was but I thought it to be very poignant. There is a lot of stigma about some topics brought up in the book (no spoilers!) and I thought it very clever of Claire to bring them into the book like she did.
An honest and true version of events of something that some people struggle with and the hurdles they have to go through to be able to have a baby is heartbreaking. There isn’t always a happy ending for some.
I did enjoy this book, I thought it to be very informative and honest. I enjoyed Claire’s style of writing. Thank you Claire for allowing me a copy of your book and to Anne for arrange this book tour
An honest and true version of events of something that some people struggle with and the hurdles they have to go through to be able to have a baby is heartbreaking. There isn’t always a happy ending for some.
I did enjoy this book, I thought it to be very informative and honest. I enjoyed Claire’s style of writing. Thank you Claire for allowing me a copy of your book and to Anne for arrange this book tour
July 6, 2021
📚 Book Review 📚
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#small #onmotherhoods
This beautifully written book tell the story of a rocky journey to motherhood for two women yearning to be parents.
While the premature birth knocks them for six, they learn to adapt and cope with the complexities of care and the challenges of new parenthood.
The book takes us through all those ups, downs and pulling your hair out moments that all of us parents experience, but during the funny, heartfelt story, the love just pours out of the pages
❤️
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
#small #onmotherhoods
This beautifully written book tell the story of a rocky journey to motherhood for two women yearning to be parents.
While the premature birth knocks them for six, they learn to adapt and cope with the complexities of care and the challenges of new parenthood.
The book takes us through all those ups, downs and pulling your hair out moments that all of us parents experience, but during the funny, heartfelt story, the love just pours out of the pages
❤️
February 9, 2023
This is a truly special, crucial book. Claire Lynch is able to portray her family life, as both she and her wife try for a baby. She does this through incredibly moving, funny and astute poetry and prosaic writing. The constant thread throughout is of love and compassion, particularly when dealing with loss, miscarriage, and grief. I hope it brings much comfort and understanding on such deeply emotional circumstances. I'm going to recommend this to every woman I know.
July 26, 2023
This is British Claire Lynch's captivating memoir of her experiences with infertility and queer motherhood, through the first 5 years of parenthood. She writes in short sentences that are prose-like, opening up to the reader her thoughts and experiences. There are so many gems in this quick read. This is a book that will live on my shelves. Highly recommended. If you enjoyed this book, try the preemie/NICU twin memoir "Mother Ship" by Francesca Segal.
July 14, 2021
This is a beautiful book which is very hard to review (not in a bad way) it’s so emotional and heartfelt that whatever I simply write is not going to be good enough for this book.
This book has reminded me of the privilege I have had to have my kids naturally and with any science involved, unfortunately not everyone has this privilege.
This book has reminded me of the privilege I have had to have my kids naturally and with any science involved, unfortunately not everyone has this privilege.
October 15, 2022
TW; infertility/ IVF.
So good I couldn’t put it down. A beautiful and insightful look into motherhood, written almost poetically that will resonate with me for years to come. Thank you Claire for sharing this beautiful piece of work.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the chance to read and review this ARC.
December 2, 2022
Beautifully written poetic in style.A-look at motherhood at pure love you feel for your child the deep emotions you feel when you decided to have these babies.I loved reading this book will be recommending.#netgalley #small
July 9, 2021
Beautifully written and endearing and sad. It's a stunning love story between two mums and their daughters. I think all mums should read this because they will understand every single word.
October 25, 2022
BRILLIANT!
Sweet, poetic and honest. A book to read again and again!
Sweet, poetic and honest. A book to read again and again!
November 10, 2022
Absolutely fantastic. I laughed, I cried. This was so well written and so unbelievably moving. I'd highly recommend, although I'd warn that it could be triggering to some so worth noting that first.
December 25, 2022
A lyrical delight.
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