It’s Better to Bite Your Tongue Than Eat Your Words

by Mike Bechtle

Ever come away from a conversation wishing you'd said something differently, something else, or just something? We've all had conversations that took an unproductive turn or avoided conversations that really needed to happen. If you want to become a better communicator, Dr. Mike Bechtle has good news: the art of confident conversation is something you can develop through simple, repeatable habits. In this book, he shows you how to

- embrace your temperament
- overcome feelings of intimidation
- choose the right words at the right time
- speak up for others and yourself
- and much more

Say goodbye to fear, regret, and "I should (or shouldn't) have said that." Say hello to intentional, appropriate, timely conversations that get your point across even as they build relationships. This book provides mastery of the skills of confident communication in any situation.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Psychology, Communication

208 pages, Paperback

Published February 15, 2022

Reviews

[Laur · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s Better To Bite Your Tongue Than Eat Your Words, by Dr. Mike Bechtle, is THE BEST self help book I have ever read. Chocked full of practical and pearls of wisdom, easy to understand and complimented by rational illustrations! Anyone who desires to speak better, communicate better, and get their point of view across in a meaningful, uncomplicated, and powerful way, must read/listen to this book. Whether you are a public speaker, speak for business, speak to your family, or just speak to your friends, I can’t imagine anyone not benefiting the guidance given.

The author himself narrates his book. He does an excellent job in expressions and has a pleasant voice to listen to. This is a book I want to keep on my shelf and refer to as often as needed.

5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and Dr. Mick Bechtle for the opportunity to receive an AAC in exchange for my honest opinion. All opinions are my own.

[Flybyreader · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book did nothing for me. Even after eliminating the self-help crap that has been sold for more than a decade like “be courageous, don’t be too assertive and start small”, there’s still not much that could help improve your conversation skills or eloquence. It’s too short, out-of-focus and deviates from the main subject matter. It offers no comparative good and bad examples of conversation nor useful techniques you can use. A waste of time.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Audiobook

Thanks to Mike Bechtle, Netgalley and RB Media for gifting me a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review. The opinions in this review are all my own.

There are a lot of self help books out there, they all encourage us to be our best self. This book does that, as well as any good self help book does, by pointing out obvious things that as humans we tend to forget. This book breaks down the basic steps to becoming a better conversationalist. While listening to this book, I found myself saying "oops, yeah, I totally do that" and "oh, I already knew that and am working on it." It was a good mix of feeling like I could be better and patting myself on the back...like girl you are on the right track.

There is something in this book for everyone. We can all benefit from being better communicators and above all, better listeners. I liked the 10 characteristics that MB outlined for being an effective communicator.

One thing that really hit home for me is when he talked about how at one point in his life, he would research everything for WEEKS before just giving it a try (fixing a leak), because he wanted to know everything about everything before trying it. I find myself doing that a lot and end up missing out on opportunities for organic growth...mistakes can be our best opportunity to learn and if we are too afraid to make mistakes we can really miss out on so much. Like his father-in-law told him...you can research how to water ski...just gotta get pushed off the back of the boat. HA! HA!

He also talked about resisting the urge to try to change people. Guilty as charged, ugh I totally try to do that so I can prevent people from making mistakes that I made...I do it to the extreme. We can't REALLY change people....but we can be better communicators and by communicating well we can be who we are meant to be.

[Steve Hostert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining book with some very good suggestions on how to improve your conversational skills. My dear wife Jeanne bought this book for me at the Dallas Fort Worth airport the day after Thanksgiving (2023) on our way home from a wonderful sun filled week with our son Brian and family.

I suspect Jeanne may have an idea that I need to talk less and listen more, perhaps that's why God gave us two ears and only one mouth. I highly recommend this easy to read book for anyone interested in improving their conversational skills.

[Jezzeri · Rating 4 out of 5]

We teach other people how to treat us by the way we treat them. Your temperament is your superpower for life. Once we catch the vision for who we are and what we can become, all of our energy goes into growing. We can learn to communicate with confidence and compassion. Strong people admit when they're wrong, which builds trust. Weak people ignore their mistake or defend it, which weakens trust. Say "tell me about it" to invite open-ended questions that show you are listening and allow others to share details. Listen carefully and ask clarifying questions. Say "help me understand" during tough conversations that start with a difference of perspective. Talking is using our words, but listening allows us to use the other person's words. Bring talking and listening together and our communication becomes a powerful blend of courage (talking) and compassion (listening). We can choose our attitude and become positive by knowing where we are headed with our life, learning to find satisfaction in the present and keep moving toward something new, seeing failure as a step of growth and learning, hanging out with positive people, taking ourselves lightly by speding less time thinking about ourself and more time thinking about others, developing a lens of gratitude and looking at all of life through it, stopping to compare ourself with others, and making the right decisions. Mastering silence provides a way to enter into tough conversations to allow everything to slow down and more time to think. Silence allows us to take time to process what someone else is really saying, and we can also observe their body language and pick up meaning through their tone of voice. Silence protects against impulsive speech, allowing us to use "on purpose" words. To ask questions, initiate with open-ended questions, follow up with deeper questions, and clarify with a review question (summarize what the other person just said). The purpose of questions is to find out exactly what the other person is thinking. Most people ask someone a question and accept the first response as the total answer, but this expanded process adds value because it allows you to go beneath the surface to get the details of their thoughts. It brings clarity instead of assumptions and helps people communicate accurately and avoid misunderstandings. The most important thing you can do to become courageous in conversations is to build trust in your relationships. To begin the journey of communication, start by developing a clear vision of what you would like your communication to look like, and then take each step intentionally to see steady growth.

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an excellent book on conversations, relationships, and how to improve at both.

I would highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to take their communication skills to the next level.

The only downside with this book, is that it is classified as a Christian book, but it barely mentioned anything Christian-related.
I would love to see a few more entries about, something along the lines of - "and with these tips, you can improve your conversations and relationships with people, but for the biggest change in your life I recommend working on your relationship with Jesus..."
Something like that, would have brought this book far-and-above my expectations.

I would recommend this book for secular readers, as it is very conversational and accessible for all.

4.6/5

[Flora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before I even reached the end of this audiobook, I quickly went and order a printed copy for my church library. Who doesn’t need a good guide on how to communicate well with people around us!

I like that the author uses Christian principles such as humility in how to relate to people, instead of assertiveness that a lot of other communication books insist upon. He doesn’t quote much from the Bible but often does so from Christian books.

Dr Bechtle narrated his book well so you won’t mind listening to it several times. Good pleasant voice. Good book.

5 stars from me.

[LILIYA · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book covers a variety of communication topics from a biblical perspective, including assertiveness, confrontation, silence, timing of words, asking for feedback, overcoming shyness, and more. He incorporates humor which I enjoy. I came away with practical steps to improve my communication.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy to read, if you have a short attention span or ADHD or just haven't read in a while this book is great. It tied in a lot of points I have already learned which helps solidify those principles. I would deffinitly recommend this book!

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book with actionable tips. Short little read that can be gone back to as a reference.

[Rethabile Molapo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best self help book I have ever read. Mike Bechtle provides insight on how to best handle conversations politely.