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607 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 30, 2021
“Calling me twenty-one times in a row last night was completely unprofessional,” she scolded him.
“If you had answered the first time, I wouldn’t have had to call twenty-one times. Next time, answer me the first time,” Tommy responded. She’d been a complete bitch since day one, and it was good to hear someone with authority put her in her place.
Once, a neighborhood kid whom I already didn’t like convinced Sean to go over to his house. This kid then informed me he wasn’t letting Sean leave. Basically, he made it seem like he kidnapped my brother. So I headed over to get Sean back, and ended up fighting the kid. Afterward, his mother marched him over to our house to show my mom the bloody nose and cut lip I’d given her kid. My mother acted appropriately appalled at my behavior for the neighbor’s benefit, but when I told her what he’d done to Sean, there was no admonishment. Instead, I was informed I’d done the right thing.

Early on, I thought I recognized one of the guards. I went up to him. “Did you got to BUD/S?” I asked.
He remembered me. “Yeah, you were my First Phase instructor. I quit.”
That was rare, someone actually admitting they ran the bell that signal you’re voluntarily dropping from training. Usually, guys who don’t make it through BUD/S - around eighty percent of those selected to go - say they were injured or make up an excuse for why they didn’t make it. I’m sure he didn’t want to lie in case I remembered him ringing the bell (I didn’t). In any case, the guard never gave me any shit, though I could tell he had a little chip on his shoulder from his time with me at BUD/S.
What? Did this dude just say he killed the terrorist? Did I hear him right? I definitely didn’t see Corey do that, and it was my first time hearing it. I had assumed the terrorist died from his battle wounds.
I wish I could say I had ample time to deal with losing my mom, but the reality was, Eddie still had a job to do and I couldn’t look to him to offer respite from my sorrow. The job - the Teams - always came first. I was used to it. But now, in addition to running the household and taking care of the kids, I had to grieve for my mother. Eddie tried to support me in his own way, but the truth is, for most of that journey, I was alone. I got little sympathy from him, but never expected it. He didn’t have the time or bandwidth to console and mourn with me, and I didn’t begrudge him for that.
Eddie had seen so much death he was desensitized. My mother’s drowning was traumatic for me and the kids, but to Eddie, death and tragedy was common. He shoved it down; in his world, letting it affect him would have been a liability.