Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse

by Patti Feuereisen, Caroline Pincus

Dr. Patti Feuereisen has been working with teenage girls for twenty-five years and has been a pioneer in helping abused girls find their voices. What she discovered in listening to hundreds of girls was not only that sexual abuse of young girls is in fact epidemic, but if the abuse can be processed when girls are still young—in their teens and early twenties—remarkable healing can take place. Girls and young women who are given an opportunity to speak out will most often go on to thrive as adults; without such an opportunity the traumatic effects of their abuse will often continue to cause them difficulty long into adulthood.

Invisible Girls weaves together powerful first-person narratives with gentle guidance and seasoned insights to help girls through the maze of feelings that swirl around the abuse experience. This gives every young woman who struggles with the scars of sexual abuse the courage that comes from knowing that she is not alone, while other girls come out from behind the veil of secrecy to become vibrant, healthy, and whole.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Abuse, Self Help, Adult, Womens

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If you are not a sexual-abuse survivor, you may be wondering how on earth girls get through such experiences, but if you are a survivor, you probably understand all too well.” (Feuereisen, Patti. Invisible Girls: The Truth about Sexual Abuse. Kindle-Version).

Yes, that’s true. And it makes me so sad, angry and frustrated that there is a need for these books at all. That being said, Feuereisen’s book can be incredibly helpful for survivors who want to work through their pain, and it also is something that people who want to support survivors should read.

Feuereisen is a well-known psychotherapist and leading expert on sexual abuse, with many years of professional experience in helping girls and women, and in Invisible Girls you can see this at work. Whether it is the way she explains problems and situations or the way she lets victims of abuse talk and adds her own perspective, Feuereisen’s explanations and statements are clear, empathetic and supportive.

One point she keeps coming back to is how she sees what is clinically known as disassociation, a kind of mental escape from the threatening situation you are in. While the gruesome reality harms them, some girls and women create their own worlds in these moments, a place with positive connotations, basically a place that allows them n o t to feel. Feuereisen stresses how this is a valid and positive way of surviving mentally when you cannot physically get out of the violent abuse situation.
Just imagine yourself after sexual abuse and you hear someone allude that you are crazy because you tried to block out what was going on when it happened. For me, something like this happening is just like an additional slap in the face, and it is why I love Feuereisen’s far more positive approach so much, because she listens to the girl or woman and takes a valid strategy of survival seriously.

“Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you were crazy for leaving your body. Just know that you were taking care of yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you this is denial. It is survival. When we’re so unsafe, we have to create our own safety.” (Feuereisen, Patti. Invisible Girls: The Truth about Sexual Abuse. Kindle-Version).

You can see Patti Feuereisen’s expertise throughout the book, and she knows very well how to tackle such a terrible topic in a way that is meant to help survivors and those who want to support them.
6 out of 5 stars.

[Amy Bruestle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Im going to make this short and sweet and to the point.

This was an awesome read. Extremely relatable and helpful and HOPEFUL! Being a survivor myself, this book was immensely helpful and I will forever remember it.

[Schizanthus Nerd]

Okay, so you may have seen that I reviewed this book yesterday. I bought my Kindle copy from Amazon who, in their infinite wisdom, gave me the second edition, not the current third edition. While I found a lot to like, I also had some problems with some specific sentences.

I really want to love the third edition. I’ve decided to check the content of that edition and will then update my review and repost it.

[Matt Mihm · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that will stick in my mind for a while. I've been well aware of the prevalence of sexual abuse for quite some time, but it has become more immediate recently via revelations from some people close to me. Invisible Girls is an important book. It gives voice to girls and women who survived rape. This 2nd edition, written well before the current MeToo movement is an alarm bell about the need to talk about sexual abuse. Many victims suffer for years without the courage and support to speak out and fearing retribution (especially if they live with the abuser). Dr. Patti emphasizes that they need to know that it wasn't there fault and that healing can only really begin when the realities of their abuse is shared with trusted allies.

[Madelin · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is an amazing and important book. its really difficult to read because of the subject but it’s important to know about. its not just a guide for survivors but its also for those close to survivors and how to be there for them. throughout the book it includes stories from survivors and what the endured during and after the abuse. the book shows how incredibly strong survivors are and ways for survivors to begin to heal.

[Rhonda Rae Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK!

There is so much in this book that will help all those that have been abused, young and older, even those who are not sure if they have been abused or not and those that love someone that has been abused.

The stories are first-hand and relevant...any woman will relate to this. If you've read Secret Survivors which addresses issues of incest relating to older women and found missing pieces...this is the book you need. It addresses the issues at a younger age where there can be quicker healing prior to years of suffering.

I recommend this book to every young girl and young woman...even myself as a grandmother have gleaned from this book. There are things we can teach the coming generations that will protect them from abuse!

Blessings to you all and if you are hesitating on reading this book because of the subject matter...don't. Face it head on...you'll NOT be disappointed!

[Dahlia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title says it all, 'Invisible Girls'. This book is a non fiction book that talks about young girls' stories on their horrible rape and sexual abuse. Nowadays, we consider girls as sexual 'objects', and are being ignored. This book was heartbreaking and sad. When I was reading the unfortunate stories of the young girls in this book, I felt upset and felt the need to do something about it. I felt disgusted by some of the selfish acts that these men were doing to young innocent girls, and most of all that some of these men were fathers and uncles. I gave this book 4 stars out of 5 stars because it was very upsetting. I recommend this book to people who care about these things and who want to know more. The author did a great job explaining the differences between certain types of sexual abuse.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is hard to "like" this subject matter, so I judged it by how they handled the disturbing material.

The topic is disturbing. That said, I also found the book to be informative and hopeful. I thought the author was a little hard on men in general at times.

As a man who hopes to adopt a daughter some day and coaches high school girls in two sports, I was glad I read it.

I am really happy that victims are becoming more willing to speak up about sexual abuse than in the past.

I recommend this to anybody who adopting or fostering somebody who went through sexual abuse, people who have been abused, or people who know somebody who has been abused.

[Valene Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really great book. First and foremost thank you to the survivors who told their stories. I also liked how Patti talked about each story prior, then you had the story, and back to Patti.

I actually learned some things that I did not know and I am a survivor myself. So that was interesting.

[Kennedy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book addresses survivors of abuse, but is an informative read about sexual abuse for anyone wanting to learn more. The book has stories of young women who have experienced different types (fathers, uncles, coaches, etc) severe abuse. It will open your eyes to the horrible things people are capable of doing, and sadly, how girls' families may fail them once the abuse is revealed.

[Ronice · Rating 5 out of 5]

the stories in this book is so sad. I feel sorry for the girls who have been put through any form of sexual abuse.I think that they are brave for telling there stories

[Kimberly Zamora · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is eye opening. I felt for these girls and women through what they had to face. I have some knowledge in sexual abuse and rape but this book just gives more intel. Dr.Patti goes into detail explaining that it’s never your fault and sharing stories of survivors so people know they are not alone and can begin to heal. I believe this is an important book because the subject is a serious matter. At times it was hard to read each girls story and what they had to endure. This book is for girls and women to reach out and know there is support to help them out. I loved this book very much and I recommend people should give it a read.

[Zeina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse, was a 338 paged nonfiction book whose information was amazing. I learned a lot from this book as I continued reading on. I learned how life pretty much goes on for these survivors, and how strong they were through the hardships that no one should deal with. This book is truly inspiring, and really puts your life into perspective.

Invisible Girls is about how girls overcome incest, rape, and other sexual abuse and go on to live healthy, normal lives. Each section starts off with information about the type of abuse, and how it happens. It would then open the floor to any questions that were asked on her website before hand, or popular questions that were asked in her sessions. The chapter will then go on to show stories about real people, and their experiences. These people were clients of Patti Feureisen, a psychologist who specializes in sexual abuse. The stories that you begin to read from these clients really show that you can overcome anything that is put in front of you, if you have the determination to do so.

Honestly reading this book, I was more interested in the stories her clients had then the information about the abuse. This was because I am someone who wanted to see how these experiences affected the victims so I could have knowledge about it in future references. I have to say that reading this book though, gave me the idea of majoring in psychology to help abused victims. Before this book, I wasn't sure what I wanted to major in with this topic in college. Now I know. The stories I read about incest really got to me. I was disgusted as family members took advantage of their younger relatives. I was even more horrified when the victim would tell their parents, and they would do nothing about it. I think this bothered me the most was because family members are supposed to help you through thick and thin, and are supposed to protect you from all the evils in the world. In this case, they brought all the evils in the world. Reading these clients stories really didn't make this book feel non fiction. I felt like I was living their experience with them, and feeling what they went through. Of course, I could only imagine the pain they felt emotionally and physically. I would recommend this book ESPECIALLY to the victims of sexual abuse. This book does a great job of explaining to you what you should do, and how to get out. I would also recommend this book to more high school students as the subject content will most likely not be appropriate for most middle schoolers.

[Brianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a victim advocate who has worked with both sexual violence and domestic violence survivors and I frequently recommend this book to those looking to read. It's a must have for the office of any victim advocate who works in these fields, counselors with clients who are survivors, or resource center. Dr. Patti Feurereisen lets the voices of these survivors take the lead throughout the book, never speaking over the experiences of others and always providing a safe, understanding backdrop for the narratives you read as well as necessary facts and statistics.

I highly, highly recommend it.

[Leslie]

Reading this to understand myself, my life, what's happened to me, and how to feel better about it.

Also I think it will help me understand the work I will soon be doing.

[Tam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is essential for people to read, regardless of your experience (i.e. if you are a survivor yourself, the parent of a survivor, or the friend of one), because of the high occurrence of rape you are inevitably closer to it than you know. This book highlights how good survivors are at carrying on despite all odds and effects of trauma they experience. It also emphasizes that it is never a survivor’s fault, and that there can be an inspiring life of hope and recovery for survivors (if they are able to talk about it and receive the right type of support). As a survivor myself, it can be extremely difficult to talk about because of the stigma of this taboo topic. In order to better support the survivors in your life (whether you know they are there or not, I assure you, they are there), I highly encourage everyone read this book. Fair warning though: it is NOT easy to read because the content is descriptive and nauseating. But it is the reality of so many girls and women. More people need to understand.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mother of a young daughter, I decided to pick up the book Invisible Girls and read through it so I can be more aware of her vulnerabilities and how to respond appropriately if she ever were to confess abuse. It’s not a very light subject matter, but I think it is very insightful. I would recommend it for anyone with young girls in their lives, or survivors of sexual abuse… or if you have a friend (as I do) who has been sexually abused. There are so many good tips on how to navigate discussion and how to be more approachable to young people who show signs of abuse. I’m also listening to What Happened To You by Oprah, and that is actually a really good companion. The audio is fantastic. Again, heavy subject matter. But in a time when women continue to fight to be equal - and heard - a little empowerment is a good tool to have on hand.

[Sophia]

No rating, read for work

This is an incredible book to give survivors of sexual abuse and their families/loved ones. Stories of real girls processing their trauma and getting out of the other side is very inspiring. Dr Patti also briefly discusses the realities of reporting, going through SAFE process, and lays out a plethora of resources.

Disclaimer -- this book does not cover male survivors but does have resources for male survivors of sexual abuse

[Natalia Scarpin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este libro es INCREÍBLE. Lloré desde que leí el epígrafe. Todxs deberían leerlo, tanto las víctimas de abuso, como los demás, para poder entender la horrible realidad del abuso sexual.

[Fern Boyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glad to have read this book, took it in small doses.

[Renee Washart · Rating 5 out of 5]

such a powerful book honestly

[Mathias Mendez · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book that would be closer to perfect if it made any real acknowledgement of the existence of trans masc and nb people who also fall victim to child sexual abuse in "girlhood"

[behsforensics]

Cutting is for Cats in the Courtyard - Coral’s Story
By Patti Feuereisen (ed)

[cory · Rating 5 out of 5]

fuck men

[Danae · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5*

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is aimed at girls and young women who have experienced sexual abuse. The author does individual and group therapy with abused girls. Much of the book is the girls' stories and the author's commentary on them. Just a couple of decades ago, resources like this did not exist, and abused girls were much more invisible. The author says that when a girl can get start dealing with the trauma at a younger age, she will be able to heal more easily that if it is buried for years or decades. The author's work (and that of other therapists) enables girls to understand they have been abused, take action stop it if it is still going on, and get started doing whatever they need to do to recover from it. The book can reach many more people, so is an invaluable resource. This revised version has a new section that consists of emails the author has received from women around the world who were moved and empowered by reading the original book.

Things I liked: She says it's usually not a good idea to confront your abuser. And that it's not necessary to forgive him (all but one abuser in the book was male). And of course that no matter the circumstances, it was not your fault. Things I didn't like: That it's not your fault, repeated at least fifty times. And more repetition of similar points. (Maybe it's not a bad thing for those who really need to absorb it.) And that she says that she thinks most teenage boys would, in certain circumstances, not only feel that rape was justified, but actually do it. She says she's received criticism for saying that but still believes it. I can't.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall I liked this book.
HOWEVER. The author stated some pretty strong opinions that I disagree with.
First, she talks like only girls are victims of sexual abuse. There are a few places where she shares experiences about boys, but not even a chapter? I know it's a book for girls, but teen girls should know that men get abused too. Also, the book claims to be about sexual abuse as a whole, so it shouldn't ignore that population.
Second, the brief section on pedophilia doesn't jive with the information I learned in class. My class could very well be wrong, but her book is now ten years old, so there's a good chance her research on the subject is outdated.
Third, why is this author stating her opinion so much in this book? The book is supposed to be "the truth" about sexual abuse. Is what the author says "the truth?" Because there were few supporting sources compared to the length of the book.
I would have liked to read a more comprehensive book on the topic. I'm not saying Patti shouldn't have her opinion in there, but there is a way to make data interesting and accessible to teen girls. Or at least include differing opinions.
I guess I'll have to read a different book on this topic to get what I really wanted from it.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed by hoopsielv for TeensReadToo.com

One out of four American girls will experience some sort of sexual abuse by age sixteen. It's a sad but true fact in our society. This book is for the girls who have been there and those who care about them. Dr. Patti answers questions from young women honestly and compassionately.

The main chapters in this book cover abuse by family members, boyfriends, acquaintances, strangers, and other adults. This novel also discusses the emotions stemming from sexual abuse along with coping and healing methods. There are many different paths to healing, including therapy and family support. The message is clear throughout: you aren't alone and it's not your fault.

INVISIBLE GIRLS was difficult to read at times due to the subject matter, but it made me aware of support systems and resources that are available to women who have faced this horrible trauma. Many young women shared their painful stories and there is an epilogue about how they found their strength to be visible and continue living.

I highly recommend this book!

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me months to read this because, due to all the personal stories, this book is triggering as hell. It's best to set aside the time to read this and be an emotional mess. Other than that, the book is easy to read, and much too repetitive.

There's *a lot* I didn't like about this book but I don't think it's worth taking the time to go into that. Here are the two most important points to take away from this book: A) it's never your fault and B) you don't have to forgive your abuser. Actually I first read B in 'The Courage to Heal' (which I disliked immensely and never finished)and it was a life-changing revelation.

I do think this is worth reading if you're struggling with these issues.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredible book weaved from survivor stories and Patti Feuereisen's commentary (a psychologist working with sexual abuse victims in NY) surrounding the issue of many different forms of sexual abuse. This book will provide information and hope for women and girls who have been sexually abused and for those that love them. It will be a great resource as a clinician, and I already plan to recommend it to clients!