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Triggers - How We Can Stop Reacting And Start Healing
Work with your triggers to find peace in the painful moments and lasting emotional well-being.
Psychotherapist David Richo examines the science of triggers and our reactions of fear, anger, and sadness. He helps us understand why our bodies respond before our minds have a chance to make sense of a situation. By looking deeply at the roots of what provokes us--the words, actions, and even sensory elements like smell--we find opportunities to understand the origins of our triggers and train our bodies to remain calm in the face of painful memories.
The book offers in-the-moment exercises on how to process difficult emotions and physical manifestations in order to to cultivate the inner resources necessary to deal with recurring memories of trauma. When we are triggered, Richo writes, "we are being bullied by our own unfinished business." Explore what your body's knee-jerk reactions can teach you. Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing acts as a guide to your body's powerful responses, helping you to remain calm under pressure and discover the key to emotional healing.
Psychotherapist David Richo examines the science of triggers and our reactions of fear, anger, and sadness. He helps us understand why our bodies respond before our minds have a chance to make sense of a situation. By looking deeply at the roots of what provokes us--the words, actions, and even sensory elements like smell--we find opportunities to understand the origins of our triggers and train our bodies to remain calm in the face of painful memories.
The book offers in-the-moment exercises on how to process difficult emotions and physical manifestations in order to to cultivate the inner resources necessary to deal with recurring memories of trauma. When we are triggered, Richo writes, "we are being bullied by our own unfinished business." Explore what your body's knee-jerk reactions can teach you. Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing acts as a guide to your body's powerful responses, helping you to remain calm under pressure and discover the key to emotional healing.
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Published January 1, 2021
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About the author
David Richo
89 books538 followersDavid Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Lovingand The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.
Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Lovingand The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.
Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
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December 24, 2024This audiobook is incredible, I’ve been listening to it on repeat like a song. I think I’ve listened through four times now. Highly highly highly recommend if you are someone struggling with feeling like shit more of the time than seems manageable. Soothing, instructive, informative, transformative.
Update June 2023: Still listening. I just bought a copy of the physical edition so I can underline it and bend its ears and draw stars.
Update October 23: Still on repeat. So good.
Update December 22: I hope I can write about this. I don't know when I've been able to devote so much time and attention to a book like this. One full calendar year. Wild. Cannot recommend this highly enough, or something like it that works better for you. If you are frayed like me, find something like this. It's been wonderful. I feel a lot better.
12.24.24 OK I listened one more time this year. God this book. Thank you for this book.
Update June 2023: Still listening. I just bought a copy of the physical edition so I can underline it and bend its ears and draw stars.
Update October 23: Still on repeat. So good.
Update December 22: I hope I can write about this. I don't know when I've been able to devote so much time and attention to a book like this. One full calendar year. Wild. Cannot recommend this highly enough, or something like it that works better for you. If you are frayed like me, find something like this. It's been wonderful. I feel a lot better.
12.24.24 OK I listened one more time this year. God this book. Thank you for this book.
March 17, 2022
this book breaks down the science behind triggers. it goes into depth about the causes and how we can learn to be more mindful. it also discusses how we can process our trauma in order to lessen our triggers.
it was a very informative book. i learned a lot more about the scientific aspect of triggers and it increased my awareness about them.
however, i just felt a bit bored at times while reading it. i can’t exactly pinpoint why, but i found myself struggling to get through it at times despite its short length.
i wanted to read more nonfiction this year, so i’m glad i read this book. it interested me quite a bit, despite my slight boredom with it. i’d recommend it for anyone who is curious about the science of triggers, or wants to learn how to identify and process through their own triggers. overall, this was a good book.
3/5 stars
it was a very informative book. i learned a lot more about the scientific aspect of triggers and it increased my awareness about them.
however, i just felt a bit bored at times while reading it. i can’t exactly pinpoint why, but i found myself struggling to get through it at times despite its short length.
i wanted to read more nonfiction this year, so i’m glad i read this book. it interested me quite a bit, despite my slight boredom with it. i’d recommend it for anyone who is curious about the science of triggers, or wants to learn how to identify and process through their own triggers. overall, this was a good book.
3/5 stars
February 24, 2020
DNF. I made through about 65 pages. It just didn't speak to me.
Intellectually light-weight. Too spiritual vs psychology based. No science. Also...Bible quotes and Shakespeare quotes? WTF? How are those useful?
Overall, waste of time. The Unspeakable Mind (Jain) and The Body Keeps the Score (van der Kolk) are both better books on trauma and well worth the greater investment in time and energy.
Intellectually light-weight. Too spiritual vs psychology based. No science. Also...Bible quotes and Shakespeare quotes? WTF? How are those useful?
Overall, waste of time. The Unspeakable Mind (Jain) and The Body Keeps the Score (van der Kolk) are both better books on trauma and well worth the greater investment in time and energy.
February 29, 2020
WOW. This has to be my favorite self-help/healing book I've ever read--and I've read a lot.
I particularly love how this one incorporates ideas from Buddhism rather than Christianity, so that helped me relate to the material and I know I'll be able to utilize the tips he gives. That being said, I definitely need to get my own copy of this book because I found myself taking a lot of notes, and I'd rather just have my own copy to not only mark up but to continually reference.
If you're someone who has a lot of triggers, a few, or none at all, it's a great book to read in order to live with loving kindness towards yourself and others.
I can't say enough good things about this book.
I particularly love how this one incorporates ideas from Buddhism rather than Christianity, so that helped me relate to the material and I know I'll be able to utilize the tips he gives. That being said, I definitely need to get my own copy of this book because I found myself taking a lot of notes, and I'd rather just have my own copy to not only mark up but to continually reference.
If you're someone who has a lot of triggers, a few, or none at all, it's a great book to read in order to live with loving kindness towards yourself and others.
I can't say enough good things about this book.
September 25, 2019
[2.5 stars]
I don't think this was the right book for me, as I constantly felt like I wasn't learning anything I didn't already understand/know. It's very discussion-based with some facts sprawled in, but mostly just a discussion on different types of triggers and how to deal.
I never had any moments where I learned something that completely left me with a new piece of information to see the world through differently through the floor, and so the book lagged for me. I struggled through the book and in the end after the first 3/4 chapters, just skipped around to ones that seemed interesting to me.
The chapter on relationships [3.5 stars] was probably the most enjoyable to me as a young person who has had little experience in being in relationships where I have been triggered because of something to do with my partner, but it is something I am working towards adapting to and bringing up to my partner.
Another reason I don't believe I enjoyed this book as it is aimed at an adult audience over young adult and it read as so, which often made it hard to relate too.
I recommend if you pick up this book to just skip around to what you need in your life because I believe you will get the most out of the book that way, and I think the author and others would agree as it can be a very personal book.
I don't think this was the right book for me, as I constantly felt like I wasn't learning anything I didn't already understand/know. It's very discussion-based with some facts sprawled in, but mostly just a discussion on different types of triggers and how to deal.
I never had any moments where I learned something that completely left me with a new piece of information to see the world through differently through the floor, and so the book lagged for me. I struggled through the book and in the end after the first 3/4 chapters, just skipped around to ones that seemed interesting to me.
The chapter on relationships [3.5 stars] was probably the most enjoyable to me as a young person who has had little experience in being in relationships where I have been triggered because of something to do with my partner, but it is something I am working towards adapting to and bringing up to my partner.
Another reason I don't believe I enjoyed this book as it is aimed at an adult audience over young adult and it read as so, which often made it hard to relate too.
I recommend if you pick up this book to just skip around to what you need in your life because I believe you will get the most out of the book that way, and I think the author and others would agree as it can be a very personal book.
January 7, 2026
2.5 stars
I've enjoyed most of the things in the book however I found it to be a little bit idealistic and I was expecting it to give us more tools of how to deal with things at an individual stage rather than a within a couple.
There are a lot of Buddhist concepts, which are beautiful, but you have to embrace that ideology and way of thinking to appreciate and apply the exercises described in this book.
I've enjoyed most of the things in the book however I found it to be a little bit idealistic and I was expecting it to give us more tools of how to deal with things at an individual stage rather than a within a couple.
There are a lot of Buddhist concepts, which are beautiful, but you have to embrace that ideology and way of thinking to appreciate and apply the exercises described in this book.
January 30, 2021
Overall review:
A lot more Christian and Buddhist references than I'm really into. There were some other religions in there too (Hinduism I think), but yeah, be aware that there will be a lot of religious comparisons and teachings.
I was generally kinda disappointed in this book. I was hoping for some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy-esque processes for identifying and defusing triggers. Instead it kind of meanders and muses about trauma and life events and philosophy. None of it is /bad/ per se, and some quotes below struck me as poignant or interesting. But I zoned out a lot while reading it because there wasn't enough crunchy substance for me to latch onto.
Quotes
----
* Trauma never goes away entirely but it can become what happened rather than what still hurts.
* Witnessing is the opposite of being triggered.
* "Oh it wasn't meant in that way" But that statement is addressed to the part of the brain based on reason, the prefrontal cortex. The trigger reaction is happening in the limbic system of the brain. So rational explanations do not work. The friends are speaking in cerebral to someone who can now only speak limbic. That part of us does not listen to reason, cannot listen to it.
* That child within us is the one who is triggered. The big adult in the world is still often at the mercy of those internal conditionings no matter what her or his accomplishments, intelligence, or even self-confidence.
*In the Buddhist tradition, the great teacher Milarepa tried at first to expel the demons from his home, but finally conversed with them and they were transformed into allies. Our inner demons can be transformed that way too.
* Naming is a primary way of dealing with any trigger. Making a list of our familiar, often repeated triggers leads up to be on the lookout for them, and to have a plan to deal with them.
* When someone triggers us by shaming, insulting, or hurting us, we can use the following technique (although it is difficult to remember to do this!): We simply repeat aloud to him very slowly the exact words that triggered us. We do this with a musing tone and with our eyes closed. Then we establish eye contact and keep looking directly at the person as if awaiting his response. [...] In an aikido style, we are directing the energy back to its origin.
* Triggers thrive on our belief that we are alone in having them. They lose a major amount of power when we realize that people we trust and admire are triggered in the same ways we are.
* 5 As - attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, allowing
* A friend can be a therapeutic companion but not a therapist.
* But when someone is abusive, our healthy response is to the leave the premises: "It seems to me that you have crossed the line and are coming at me aggressively so I will leave now and come bac when you calm down so we can have a useful conversation"
* 1) non-threatening directness, 2) not backing down 3) creating an opening for effective communication
* Single level desire - desire for that object only. "I want a flashlight for my camping trip". Our desire is straightforward and satisfiable. Multi-level desire is about more than the stated object "I need a late-night snack when I am alone and lonely. I am wanting more than what I think I need and then I am not satisfied anyway."
* With a multi-level desire, we can immediately ask, "what are we seeking and what are we avoiding?"
* 4 step practise 1) admit that you afraid/uncomfortable 2) allow yourself to feel your feelz 3) act as if the fear has no power, accept with trust 4) affirm your own courage
* an essential feature of healthy communication is to know one another's triggers. We tell one another from the very beginning what our triggers are. Then our partner can avoid going there, or he or she can help us work on the issues from our own past that activate our trigger reactions.
* Remember that we look for a repeat of the past - not an alternative to it
* Difficult to express a need without it coming across as a judgement. "I need more affection" sounds like, "you're not giving me enough affection". Express emotional needs similar to " you are good at giving affection and it makes me want more of it - how about XYZ?"
* Since all is evolving, there is no endpoint. For instance the oak tree I see outside my window is not in its final version of itself. Not will it ever be. It will continue to adjust itself to the changing environment. [...] The same is true of us humans.
A lot more Christian and Buddhist references than I'm really into. There were some other religions in there too (Hinduism I think), but yeah, be aware that there will be a lot of religious comparisons and teachings.
I was generally kinda disappointed in this book. I was hoping for some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy-esque processes for identifying and defusing triggers. Instead it kind of meanders and muses about trauma and life events and philosophy. None of it is /bad/ per se, and some quotes below struck me as poignant or interesting. But I zoned out a lot while reading it because there wasn't enough crunchy substance for me to latch onto.
Quotes
----
* Trauma never goes away entirely but it can become what happened rather than what still hurts.
* Witnessing is the opposite of being triggered.
* "Oh it wasn't meant in that way" But that statement is addressed to the part of the brain based on reason, the prefrontal cortex. The trigger reaction is happening in the limbic system of the brain. So rational explanations do not work. The friends are speaking in cerebral to someone who can now only speak limbic. That part of us does not listen to reason, cannot listen to it.
* That child within us is the one who is triggered. The big adult in the world is still often at the mercy of those internal conditionings no matter what her or his accomplishments, intelligence, or even self-confidence.
*In the Buddhist tradition, the great teacher Milarepa tried at first to expel the demons from his home, but finally conversed with them and they were transformed into allies. Our inner demons can be transformed that way too.
* Naming is a primary way of dealing with any trigger. Making a list of our familiar, often repeated triggers leads up to be on the lookout for them, and to have a plan to deal with them.
* When someone triggers us by shaming, insulting, or hurting us, we can use the following technique (although it is difficult to remember to do this!): We simply repeat aloud to him very slowly the exact words that triggered us. We do this with a musing tone and with our eyes closed. Then we establish eye contact and keep looking directly at the person as if awaiting his response. [...] In an aikido style, we are directing the energy back to its origin.
* Triggers thrive on our belief that we are alone in having them. They lose a major amount of power when we realize that people we trust and admire are triggered in the same ways we are.
* 5 As - attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, allowing
* A friend can be a therapeutic companion but not a therapist.
* But when someone is abusive, our healthy response is to the leave the premises: "It seems to me that you have crossed the line and are coming at me aggressively so I will leave now and come bac when you calm down so we can have a useful conversation"
* 1) non-threatening directness, 2) not backing down 3) creating an opening for effective communication
* Single level desire - desire for that object only. "I want a flashlight for my camping trip". Our desire is straightforward and satisfiable. Multi-level desire is about more than the stated object "I need a late-night snack when I am alone and lonely. I am wanting more than what I think I need and then I am not satisfied anyway."
* With a multi-level desire, we can immediately ask, "what are we seeking and what are we avoiding?"
* 4 step practise 1) admit that you afraid/uncomfortable 2) allow yourself to feel your feelz 3) act as if the fear has no power, accept with trust 4) affirm your own courage
* an essential feature of healthy communication is to know one another's triggers. We tell one another from the very beginning what our triggers are. Then our partner can avoid going there, or he or she can help us work on the issues from our own past that activate our trigger reactions.
* Remember that we look for a repeat of the past - not an alternative to it
* Difficult to express a need without it coming across as a judgement. "I need more affection" sounds like, "you're not giving me enough affection". Express emotional needs similar to " you are good at giving affection and it makes me want more of it - how about XYZ?"
* Since all is evolving, there is no endpoint. For instance the oak tree I see outside my window is not in its final version of itself. Not will it ever be. It will continue to adjust itself to the changing environment. [...] The same is true of us humans.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 14, 2022
This book is a must read! Vital in helping to understand more about ourself and others.
This is the kind of things we should be teaching our children So we can become better human beings.
Today, thanks to neuroscience – and more specifically, research on brain plasticity — we are aware that we can reprogram our neurological pathways to change our self-defeating patterns.
We so we do not have to be hard on ourselves when we still react in ways, we are uncomfortable with. Instead, we can observe, learn, and practice. A trigger can, of course, be positive — the stimulus arousing joy, erotic excitement, or optimism.
Today though the word “trigger” mostly refers to what is disturbing and unpleasant.
Triggers. We all have them. We are all triggers by something. Wouldn’t you like to know how to better deal with your triggers. Or even to not be triggered at all.
A trigger is what pushes our buttons. Gets a strong reaction. Something we hook into
Triggers touch off an immediate emotional reaction. It could be sadness, depression, anger, aggression, fear, panic, humiliation, shame.
Words, certain behaviours, attitudes, events, even the presence of certain people can cause a reflex reaction.
Whatever it is that triggers us, it connects us to an unresolved issue, past trauma. In that instant we react in flight, fight, or freeze. Sometimes we’re left dumbfounded or numb.
When triggered, our reaction is often excessive.
The goal is to become aware of what triggers us and to understand why. It’s how we reclaim our power. Have a choice. Process the experience and heal.
Reactions are based on our beliefs, assumptions, allusions, projections, suppositions.
Our reaction moves from belief to expression first as a feeling and then him times with the follow-up of words or actions. Usually this all happens without our having a chance to consider what makes the most sense for us in the situation. Triggers and reactions happen so fast that we don’t have a chance to pause, look at what is really happening, and make a wise choice. This is because traders activate our limbic system, where the emotions reside, not our prefrontal cortex, where rational thoughts per side.
A trigger is usually a replay of an earlier experience. The aim of this book is to turn triggers into tools.
As the author states: We learn about ourselves and our feelings by our reactions. We find ways to move from autopilot to self piloting, from reaction to responses.
Our child within is the one who is triggered.
Making a list of our familiar, often repeated triggers leads us to be on the outlook for them, to have a plan to deal with them. To make a conscious response rather than act on reflex.
Mindfulness helps us become aware and not automatically react.
A healthy response is to feel our grief. When someone hurts or offends us we can say “ouch!”
Learn to accept the things you cannot change. Change the things you can. And learn to know the difference.
Remember, we have the ability to shrug things off.
The advantage of our practice of mindfulness is to “be here now.” We do not seek an escape or blame ourselves or others for how isolated we feel. “Staying with” mean showing ourselves for the five A’s the components of intimate love that represent our earliest needs: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, allowing.
This book is a must read is you want to learn how to better deal with your triggers.
This is the kind of things we should be teaching our children So we can become better human beings.
Today, thanks to neuroscience – and more specifically, research on brain plasticity — we are aware that we can reprogram our neurological pathways to change our self-defeating patterns.
We so we do not have to be hard on ourselves when we still react in ways, we are uncomfortable with. Instead, we can observe, learn, and practice. A trigger can, of course, be positive — the stimulus arousing joy, erotic excitement, or optimism.
Today though the word “trigger” mostly refers to what is disturbing and unpleasant.
Triggers. We all have them. We are all triggers by something. Wouldn’t you like to know how to better deal with your triggers. Or even to not be triggered at all.
A trigger is what pushes our buttons. Gets a strong reaction. Something we hook into
Triggers touch off an immediate emotional reaction. It could be sadness, depression, anger, aggression, fear, panic, humiliation, shame.
Words, certain behaviours, attitudes, events, even the presence of certain people can cause a reflex reaction.
Whatever it is that triggers us, it connects us to an unresolved issue, past trauma. In that instant we react in flight, fight, or freeze. Sometimes we’re left dumbfounded or numb.
When triggered, our reaction is often excessive.
The goal is to become aware of what triggers us and to understand why. It’s how we reclaim our power. Have a choice. Process the experience and heal.
Reactions are based on our beliefs, assumptions, allusions, projections, suppositions.
Our reaction moves from belief to expression first as a feeling and then him times with the follow-up of words or actions. Usually this all happens without our having a chance to consider what makes the most sense for us in the situation. Triggers and reactions happen so fast that we don’t have a chance to pause, look at what is really happening, and make a wise choice. This is because traders activate our limbic system, where the emotions reside, not our prefrontal cortex, where rational thoughts per side.
A trigger is usually a replay of an earlier experience. The aim of this book is to turn triggers into tools.
As the author states: We learn about ourselves and our feelings by our reactions. We find ways to move from autopilot to self piloting, from reaction to responses.
Our child within is the one who is triggered.
Making a list of our familiar, often repeated triggers leads us to be on the outlook for them, to have a plan to deal with them. To make a conscious response rather than act on reflex.
Mindfulness helps us become aware and not automatically react.
A healthy response is to feel our grief. When someone hurts or offends us we can say “ouch!”
Learn to accept the things you cannot change. Change the things you can. And learn to know the difference.
Remember, we have the ability to shrug things off.
The advantage of our practice of mindfulness is to “be here now.” We do not seek an escape or blame ourselves or others for how isolated we feel. “Staying with” mean showing ourselves for the five A’s the components of intimate love that represent our earliest needs: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, allowing.
This book is a must read is you want to learn how to better deal with your triggers.
October 11, 2022
Wow! Тот случай, когда хочется прослушать книгу снова сразу после того как дослушала до конца. Я буду не раз возвращаться к этому опусу, чтобы усвоить и осознать всё, что в ней говорится. Я чувствую себя Мадам Триггер! И нет, я так чувствовать себя больше не хочу. Очень корректно и уважительно сформулированный инструментарий, который предлагает автор мне очень пришёлся по душе. Хочется немедленно начать применять!
February 13, 2020
Exceptional!
August 5, 2020
Some interesting points to consider, but the underlying thought processes put me off.
Within the first five pages you realise that females are the objects of obsession, or abuse, or they are strident when they set boundaries, and males are the abusers, the ones who can learn, if they are good, to tell their spouses not only that they want space but that they'll be back for dinner. Which, clearly, the spouse is expected to have ready.
I found that undermined a lot of the more valuable observations for me.
Within the first five pages you realise that females are the objects of obsession, or abuse, or they are strident when they set boundaries, and males are the abusers, the ones who can learn, if they are good, to tell their spouses not only that they want space but that they'll be back for dinner. Which, clearly, the spouse is expected to have ready.
I found that undermined a lot of the more valuable observations for me.
February 2, 2021
I recommend many of Richo's books. Triggers is one of his best. Very useful for survivors of trauma and it addresses less intense triggers as well...
January 17, 2026
It took me a while to finish this book. But The book turned to be one of the most useful books I read last year!
it's a great guide on how to not only recognize your triggers, but also to develop new habits on reacting differently.
I literally dedicated time to "talk" to all my inner "Deamons", and not only recognize the triggers (nothing new here for me), but to use practical advice from the book and exercises. Repetitive approach helped me to learn not to react to them as sharp and rapid as I used to.
if you ever want to move from triggering and reacting on your insecurities to more self-aware "habits", that's exactly the book. Most of the things are obvious and not new, as often time happens with the self-help books, but practical approach really helps, if ready for a change.
it's a great guide on how to not only recognize your triggers, but also to develop new habits on reacting differently.
I literally dedicated time to "talk" to all my inner "Deamons", and not only recognize the triggers (nothing new here for me), but to use practical advice from the book and exercises. Repetitive approach helped me to learn not to react to them as sharp and rapid as I used to.
if you ever want to move from triggering and reacting on your insecurities to more self-aware "habits", that's exactly the book. Most of the things are obvious and not new, as often time happens with the self-help books, but practical approach really helps, if ready for a change.
September 14, 2023
I really liked this resource for dealing with triggers. While I was interested in learning more about the science of triggers and nervous system regulation tips, I ended up discovering a lot more. There is a lot of science and psychology in this book. This book is also beautifully written with many quotes from poets, philosophers, writers, artists, and world religions. It does lean towards the concept of a higher power- so it might not be for everyone.
September 18, 2024
I agree with almost everything the book puts forward, but I didn't like the way the information was presented. Using literature, myths, and even the Bible to get your point across can work for some people, but not for me. I tried the Balance app for some time, and the meditation guide didn't mention spirituality even once, even though ideas like loving-kindness, mindfulness, and observation without judgment were explored at length. I wonder if the author could have done the same.
March 2, 2020
This is the book that links what you’re feeling with what you can actively do about it. Grounded in spirituality and loving-kindness, this book offers long-term strategies for growth. A valuable guidebook that’s worth multiple re-reads.
March 24, 2020
This book was very informative and useful especially with the job that I do.
January 24, 2023
Good stuff in this book, but it could have been 50 pages shorter. He relies too heavily on quotes. That being said, he made me really rethink the serenity pray.
June 2, 2022
Although I find it useful, it didn't add much to what I already know. The quote in the early chapters stating that people generally respond to a trigger based on their limbic system rather than the prefrontal cortex made me read further. The complete focus is on using mindfulness to understand the situations instead of overreacting without any thought.
December 29, 2024
We all can agree we all get triggered by something… I happen to be easily triggered. This book gave some great tools and insight. I’ll for sure have a few things I take away from this book and will use daily .
December 21, 2019
In Triggers, psychotherapist David Richo explains what an emotional trigger is and offers readers suggestions for how to use inner and outer resources to respond in loving, mature, healthy ways. He focuses particularly on triggers of sadness, anger, and fear.
Since we all get triggered, this book could be helpful for anyone, but much of this material would be especially helpful for those who have been abused or who did not have their needs met adequately in childhood. I found the distinction made between anger and abuse very helpful.
Reading this book also helped me understand how triggers can be positive. Triggers can spur us to take beneficial actions by pointing out wounds that we need to heal or issues that we need to resolve.
In the appendix, the author provides an extensive collection of affirmations for coping with fear.
I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
Since we all get triggered, this book could be helpful for anyone, but much of this material would be especially helpful for those who have been abused or who did not have their needs met adequately in childhood. I found the distinction made between anger and abuse very helpful.
Reading this book also helped me understand how triggers can be positive. Triggers can spur us to take beneficial actions by pointing out wounds that we need to heal or issues that we need to resolve.
In the appendix, the author provides an extensive collection of affirmations for coping with fear.
I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
April 16, 2025
I will read everything this man writes.
Triggers by David Richo is one of those rare books that doesn't just inform—it transforms. I listened to the audio version first and was so impacted that I’m now buying the paperback just so I can reread it with a highlighter in hand and savor the insights that hit home the hardest.
As someone actively unraveling my own triggers and learning how to become an observer of my emotional responses rather than a prisoner of them, this book was pure gold. Richo’s approach is compassionate, wise, and deeply grounded in both psychology and spiritual awareness. He helps you see that triggers aren’t enemies to be banished but doorways to deeper self-understanding, healing, and presence.
His words have a way of gently but powerfully cutting through the noise and bringing you back to what matters: awareness, choice, and growth. This isn’t just a book you read—it’s one you live through.
If you’re doing any kind of inner work or are on the path of conscious emotional healing, Triggers will feel like a trusted companion walking beside you. Highly, highly recommended.
Triggers by David Richo is one of those rare books that doesn't just inform—it transforms. I listened to the audio version first and was so impacted that I’m now buying the paperback just so I can reread it with a highlighter in hand and savor the insights that hit home the hardest.
As someone actively unraveling my own triggers and learning how to become an observer of my emotional responses rather than a prisoner of them, this book was pure gold. Richo’s approach is compassionate, wise, and deeply grounded in both psychology and spiritual awareness. He helps you see that triggers aren’t enemies to be banished but doorways to deeper self-understanding, healing, and presence.
His words have a way of gently but powerfully cutting through the noise and bringing you back to what matters: awareness, choice, and growth. This isn’t just a book you read—it’s one you live through.
If you’re doing any kind of inner work or are on the path of conscious emotional healing, Triggers will feel like a trusted companion walking beside you. Highly, highly recommended.
October 28, 2019
Thank you netgalley for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This was a very good book that reveals the emotional and physical triggers we may experience due to tramautic events in our lives. The author identifies what causes these responses and provides ways on how to overcome them. A bit dense in certain areas but otherwise we'll structured and compelling.
This was a very good book that reveals the emotional and physical triggers we may experience due to tramautic events in our lives. The author identifies what causes these responses and provides ways on how to overcome them. A bit dense in certain areas but otherwise we'll structured and compelling.
December 19, 2021
Though I found the beginning of this book to be quite helpful, Triggers is actually The Beginner's Guide to Buddhism masquerading as a self-help psychology book. There are also several instances where Richo tries to speak to certain elements of Christianity, "correcting" what he believes to be erroneous beliefs about sexuality when he himself is not even a practicing Christian.
That said, I will admit that this book was helpful for pinpointing more of my triggers, and even examining where a few of them come from. I recommend it as a starting point for those who are not familiar with their own triggers -- it will shed light on certain reactions that a person may not have considered before.
That said, I will admit that this book was helpful for pinpointing more of my triggers, and even examining where a few of them come from. I recommend it as a starting point for those who are not familiar with their own triggers -- it will shed light on certain reactions that a person may not have considered before.
October 21, 2019
This is pretty depending on what you're seeking and expecting. There's a lot of common sense here along with a few techniques. Triggers are really important to understand, so this is arguably a very important topic so this may be helpful to anyone even if it just gets you thinking or you just pick up a couple of tips. There's great deal of time spent listing triggers and their causes which may create an occasional "a-ha" for some. I think this will helpful for some, but as with all self help will generate a mixed response.
I really appreciate the NetGalley advanced copy for review!!
I really appreciate the NetGalley advanced copy for review!!
April 28, 2023
this is does have some good insights about how to handle triggers and what to do with them but take it with grain of salt only because this self-help book would be helpful for religious and god believers. Many references from bible and god, which is off putting to me (was not expecting that). I don't think using god/religion is good for mental health on triggers at all.
June 1, 2025
This book offers tools to help us get through triggered moments. What’s a trigger? That feeling when our stomachs sink and we become enraged or alarmed and lose our emotional control while suddenly caught up in a sudden moment of a reminded incidence. Triggers evolve from past trauma. The word trauma comes from the Greek -word ‘wound’. The stimulus within is referred to a trigger which can be any immediate emotional reaction – fear, panic, humiliation, sadness, etc.
Triggers catch us offguard in the moment because our limbic system is activated, this is where are emotions reside. Our prefrontal cortex acts like the reins we use to reel us back. A trigger snatches us up in an emotional moment, reinstating painful experiences. Our prefrontral cortex can reactivate the calm and we can learn how to reframe those events with alternative thoughts.
Trigger is a metaphor for what provoke our immediate reaction. Anything familiar to a startling experience we’ve had can set off a trigger from a minor distress to a major trauma from years back. Our triggers are archived deep in our somatic memory. PTSD is often difficult to unseat because triggers restimulate the original event. Typically, triggers are unresolved feelings and resolutions, undealt with from a traumatic situation. Our brain’s amygdala stores our fears and traumas. When we are triggered it is one of these three reactions- fleeing, fighting, or freezing up that occur. Happy moments can also be triggered, although it’s usually the bad memories that give the strongest triggers.
We can reprogram our neurological pathways. This book teaches us how to mobilize inner resources to better cope with triggering moments and the original trauma. While experiencing a trigger, we may try to disassociate with it while it’s happening, which is why when it’s realized, takes time to absorb and resolve and sends us back into survival mode. We keep repressed within without resolving what we deflect from, each time the memory visits us, it retraumatizes. We will learn how to decipher which mindset is activating our triggers to determine whether we are seeing our shadow self. Triggers can appear from the inflated ego being wounded, a trigger from an earlier life experience, or transference from fear or anger.
This book helps to train us how to lessen the load when triggers occur, and helps to drill down what causes the triggers while attempting to train us how to learn to react without trauma.
A few takeaways:
“Trauma never goes entirely away, but it can become what happened rather than what still hurts.”
“Eventually, we become what we practice.”
“We are turtles, not birds. We take our childhood home with us wherever we go. We cannot fly away from it.”
“The more important a person is in our lives, the stronger is the impact of a trigger from her and the longer-lasting reaction.”
“Repressed trauma turns into buried ghosts triggering anxiety and powerlessness.”
Triggers catch us offguard in the moment because our limbic system is activated, this is where are emotions reside. Our prefrontal cortex acts like the reins we use to reel us back. A trigger snatches us up in an emotional moment, reinstating painful experiences. Our prefrontral cortex can reactivate the calm and we can learn how to reframe those events with alternative thoughts.
Trigger is a metaphor for what provoke our immediate reaction. Anything familiar to a startling experience we’ve had can set off a trigger from a minor distress to a major trauma from years back. Our triggers are archived deep in our somatic memory. PTSD is often difficult to unseat because triggers restimulate the original event. Typically, triggers are unresolved feelings and resolutions, undealt with from a traumatic situation. Our brain’s amygdala stores our fears and traumas. When we are triggered it is one of these three reactions- fleeing, fighting, or freezing up that occur. Happy moments can also be triggered, although it’s usually the bad memories that give the strongest triggers.
We can reprogram our neurological pathways. This book teaches us how to mobilize inner resources to better cope with triggering moments and the original trauma. While experiencing a trigger, we may try to disassociate with it while it’s happening, which is why when it’s realized, takes time to absorb and resolve and sends us back into survival mode. We keep repressed within without resolving what we deflect from, each time the memory visits us, it retraumatizes. We will learn how to decipher which mindset is activating our triggers to determine whether we are seeing our shadow self. Triggers can appear from the inflated ego being wounded, a trigger from an earlier life experience, or transference from fear or anger.
This book helps to train us how to lessen the load when triggers occur, and helps to drill down what causes the triggers while attempting to train us how to learn to react without trauma.
A few takeaways:
“Trauma never goes entirely away, but it can become what happened rather than what still hurts.”
“Eventually, we become what we practice.”
“We are turtles, not birds. We take our childhood home with us wherever we go. We cannot fly away from it.”
“The more important a person is in our lives, the stronger is the impact of a trigger from her and the longer-lasting reaction.”
“Repressed trauma turns into buried ghosts triggering anxiety and powerlessness.”
May 24, 2022
To be honest, I didn't like this book. When I found it I was excited to learn more about triggers and how to deal with them, but this book didn't really give me that. It does start well, but then it became too 'academic' and philosophical for me. It felt like a professor leading a somewhat abstract topic discussion, rather than a psychologist providing tangible strategies to address triggers, which is what I expected. The way triggers are discussed is somewhat one dimensional and it really doesn't take into consideration how complex our thoughts and emotions are. The book talks about both grief and fear being behind sadness triggers, anger triggers and fear triggers, but it just feels like something is missing, like it is overly simplified. Surely more than just grief and fear are behind triggers? And if these really are the root of all fears, what are the missing pieces in the middle that lead to the trigger?
Some things are hard to take as factual and reality based. Eg. the book says if you look into the eyes of an angry person who is abusing you, you'll see their pain and fear, and it means it literally. Yet in reality often all you'll see is fury and hatred. Even if that person's angry behaviour is in some way driven by their pain and fear, knowing that isn't enough to actually stop you being triggered by that person's angry and/or abusive behaviour. So how would one actually address the trigger? No idea. I found my mind wandering a lot while trying to read this. The book went off on tangents that didn't seem relevent (like something to do with an Ancient Roman story). Other parts were very spiritual. Phrases including "Why do we put so much energy into avoiding suffering? A long as love is possible in the midst of our pain, suffering is a path to depth, compassion and redemption" and "Love is the antidote to fear." This may well be true in a spiritual sense, but it sounds like it's been written by someone who has never experienced true suffering or deep rooted fear. Simply loving more does not 'fix' these problems. Concentraing on love will not address and relieve triggers.
I would have preferred if the more philosophical, spiritual, and 'fluffy' content was cut and actual CBT type techniques to deal with triggers were included. In theory this book should be really helpful, but in reality it wasn't. It's an 'information' book, especially if you're interested in Buddhism and other spititual approaches, but it's not a self help one if you actually want to work on cognitive and behavioural approaches for addressing triggers.
Some things are hard to take as factual and reality based. Eg. the book says if you look into the eyes of an angry person who is abusing you, you'll see their pain and fear, and it means it literally. Yet in reality often all you'll see is fury and hatred. Even if that person's angry behaviour is in some way driven by their pain and fear, knowing that isn't enough to actually stop you being triggered by that person's angry and/or abusive behaviour. So how would one actually address the trigger? No idea. I found my mind wandering a lot while trying to read this. The book went off on tangents that didn't seem relevent (like something to do with an Ancient Roman story). Other parts were very spiritual. Phrases including "Why do we put so much energy into avoiding suffering? A long as love is possible in the midst of our pain, suffering is a path to depth, compassion and redemption" and "Love is the antidote to fear." This may well be true in a spiritual sense, but it sounds like it's been written by someone who has never experienced true suffering or deep rooted fear. Simply loving more does not 'fix' these problems. Concentraing on love will not address and relieve triggers.
I would have preferred if the more philosophical, spiritual, and 'fluffy' content was cut and actual CBT type techniques to deal with triggers were included. In theory this book should be really helpful, but in reality it wasn't. It's an 'information' book, especially if you're interested in Buddhism and other spititual approaches, but it's not a self help one if you actually want to work on cognitive and behavioural approaches for addressing triggers.
September 2, 2023
Unfortunately I was led to believe I'd learn more about neuroplasticity but the author only dedicated 2 pages to this subject at the end of the book.
This is the first book I've encountered that thoroughly focuses on what causes triggers and what we allow to trigger us.
'A triggering experience alerts us to a psychological issue in ourselves that needs to be addressed, processed, and resolved."
"But our reaction - part two- is our own responsibility and is based on our past experiences. We are being bullied by our own past unfinished business."
The explanation on anger versus abuse was really informative and enlightening.
The perspective is coming from a universalist and I don't care much for that perspective but his scientific explanation to how humans respond to issues teaches the reader how to look at what we are missing or what we didn't receive in our home. There is also an encouragement to move forward in order to heal and not to stay in the past.
Title indicates how we can heal. Don't think this book helps with that other than give information on how people can react to life circumstances despite our in spite of our upbringing.
I read it in 3 hours because I skimmed over sections I didn't care for.
This is the first book I've encountered that thoroughly focuses on what causes triggers and what we allow to trigger us.
'A triggering experience alerts us to a psychological issue in ourselves that needs to be addressed, processed, and resolved."
"But our reaction - part two- is our own responsibility and is based on our past experiences. We are being bullied by our own past unfinished business."
The explanation on anger versus abuse was really informative and enlightening.
The perspective is coming from a universalist and I don't care much for that perspective but his scientific explanation to how humans respond to issues teaches the reader how to look at what we are missing or what we didn't receive in our home. There is also an encouragement to move forward in order to heal and not to stay in the past.
Title indicates how we can heal. Don't think this book helps with that other than give information on how people can react to life circumstances despite our in spite of our upbringing.
I read it in 3 hours because I skimmed over sections I didn't care for.
November 12, 2024
Helpful advice on noticing my triggers as a signal to examine my reaction and redesign my behavior intentionally. It’s helped me work through and heal from some abandonment/commitment issues.
I made so many highlights throughout the book. I liked knowing that there are resources like this for my experiences with fear and anxiety and triggers.
The statements that triggers thrive on the illusion that we can’t trust ourselves or that my anxiety is lying to me was really powerful for me to internalize. Because when I get in a triggered state, I think it is reality and I fixate on one way to act or think but there actually are multitudes of other ways to react.
My partners in my last romantic relationships triggered me constantly. This book is helping me figure out why I pick partners that trigger me, how to notice and let go of my instinctive response when I am triggered, and then address the trigger and reaction with intention and in a healthy way.
My only criticism is that the book leaned heavily on spiritualism to emphasize some of its arguments.
I made so many highlights throughout the book. I liked knowing that there are resources like this for my experiences with fear and anxiety and triggers.
The statements that triggers thrive on the illusion that we can’t trust ourselves or that my anxiety is lying to me was really powerful for me to internalize. Because when I get in a triggered state, I think it is reality and I fixate on one way to act or think but there actually are multitudes of other ways to react.
My partners in my last romantic relationships triggered me constantly. This book is helping me figure out why I pick partners that trigger me, how to notice and let go of my instinctive response when I am triggered, and then address the trigger and reaction with intention and in a healthy way.
My only criticism is that the book leaned heavily on spiritualism to emphasize some of its arguments.
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