What do you think?
Rate this book
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: Creating a Marriage That's Both Holy and Hot
Bring greater satisfaction to your relationship in every way--emotionally, spiritually, and physically--whether you're preparing for your honeymoon or are empty nesters looking for a new spark.
Are you wondering if there's more to your sex life than the status quo? Or maybe you have questions about your upcoming marriage that aren't exactly appropriate for the rehearsal dinner? This edition of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex from tell-it-like-it-is blogger and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire has been completely updated and expanded to include new research from surveys of more than twenty-five thousand people. With humor, stories, and highly practical ideas, Sheila helps you:
See how God intends sex to unite couples physically, emotionally, and spiritually--and how to overcome roadblocks in each area
Understand more about your two bodies and how they were meant to go together
Find healing from past sexual experiences, sexual trauma, or pornography addiction
Figure out the missing piece in your sex life that often makes pleasure out of reach
Learn how to help your husband give you greater pleasure than ever before
Embrace sex with freedom, rather than viewing it with shame or embarrassment
Sheila's content and style will appeal to:
Newly engaged couples who want to start their marriage out right
Married couples who wonder if sex will ever become what they'd hoped it would be
Followers of Sheila's marriage blog and bestselling books
Pastors and counselors seeking a resource for helping engaged and married couples
Read The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex as your husband learns more about you in The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex. Clothing optional.
Are you wondering if there's more to your sex life than the status quo? Or maybe you have questions about your upcoming marriage that aren't exactly appropriate for the rehearsal dinner? This edition of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex from tell-it-like-it-is blogger and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire has been completely updated and expanded to include new research from surveys of more than twenty-five thousand people. With humor, stories, and highly practical ideas, Sheila helps you:
See how God intends sex to unite couples physically, emotionally, and spiritually--and how to overcome roadblocks in each area
Understand more about your two bodies and how they were meant to go together
Find healing from past sexual experiences, sexual trauma, or pornography addiction
Figure out the missing piece in your sex life that often makes pleasure out of reach
Learn how to help your husband give you greater pleasure than ever before
Embrace sex with freedom, rather than viewing it with shame or embarrassment
Sheila's content and style will appeal to:
Newly engaged couples who want to start their marriage out right
Married couples who wonder if sex will ever become what they'd hoped it would be
Followers of Sheila's marriage blog and bestselling books
Pastors and counselors seeking a resource for helping engaged and married couples
Read The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex as your husband learns more about you in The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex. Clothing optional.
272 pages, Paperback
First published February 21, 2012
974 people are currently reading
2209 people want to read
About the author
Sheila Wray Gregoire
28 books739 followersSheila Wray Gregoire is an award-winning author of 9 books, including the ground-breaking Great Sex Rescue, and founder of BareMarriage.com. She's passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex to something that is mutual, initimate, and pleasurable for both. She heads up a team of researchers who want to bring evidence-based, healthy advice to evangelicalism when it comes to relationships. Sheila lives in Belleville, Ontario, with her husband Keith. They are the parents of two adult daughters.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 365 reviews
October 25, 2021
I picked up this book on a recommendation, but wasn't too sure about it until I realized it was written from a Christian perspective. She states very clearly that the sexual relationship is one that should be kept within marriage, but was also kind to those that may have had some sexual history before marriage, even if it was with their now-husband. This is not a "clinical" book about sex, but rather an attempt to help women (and probably men) understand the attitudes and advantages of sex for both husbands and wives. She did some research as well to support her insights... like the idea that the women having the most fulfilling sex lives are married and not in perfect shape or drop-dead gorgeous. Her point is that sex between husbands and wives should be fun and is part of what makes a marriage great, helps it last and improves the friendship and companionship within marriage. This is an adjust-your-attitude and have some fun book. I loved her comment at the end that a healthy sex life is like marriage insurance. I would definitely recommend this book to someone approaching marriage, or even those who have been married a while but have drifted into a rut or ho-hum. She is spot-on that if we aren't happy in our marriages, we need to start with ourselves and our own attitudes first. She also talked a bit about the problems of pornography use -- either by men or women -- and the effects this can have on the marriage and sexual relationship. Worth reading.
February 2, 2014
An okay book from a conservative Christian perspective...however, it comes from a mindset that women naturally hate sex, which really was a turn-off for me as a reader. Would recommend to women struggling with sex within a marriage, but not for newly or nearly-weds, as it puts forth an attitude that it's normal and expected to dislike sex and be uncomfortable with it.
February 22, 2022
While I will now be giving this to every engaged friend of mine, I'll also be recommending it to lots of married friends!
I'm so glad Sheila took the time to rework this book once she knew more information about women, particularly the orgasm gap and the significant number of wives with higher drives. There are helpful sections on vaginismus, a great honeymoon appendix, and many chapters that apply to already married couples (and not just newlyweds!).
Most importantly, she spends much more than a few tossed-off sentences on real intimacy—that is, physical, spiritual, and relational—with practical, open-ended tips in all areas. I can't recommend this book enough, and I look forward to reading The Good Guy's Guide with my husband soon.
{I was provided an ARC for review}
I'm so glad Sheila took the time to rework this book once she knew more information about women, particularly the orgasm gap and the significant number of wives with higher drives. There are helpful sections on vaginismus, a great honeymoon appendix, and many chapters that apply to already married couples (and not just newlyweds!).
Most importantly, she spends much more than a few tossed-off sentences on real intimacy—that is, physical, spiritual, and relational—with practical, open-ended tips in all areas. I can't recommend this book enough, and I look forward to reading The Good Guy's Guide with my husband soon.
{I was provided an ARC for review}
December 31, 2018
I read through the reviews and didn't seem to find any that said what I felt about this book.
This author believes that telling a man he needs to lose weight is okay, but telling a woman the same thing isn't? Oh, come on! She feels that it is the woman's fault that the man is overweight anyway because she feels that the women buy the groceries and prepare the meals. Do the women force feed their men too?!
The advice is terrible at best. She seems to think that the man should always be the one reaching around and rubbing the woman's clitoris. How about a woman taking action with her own body? Don't expect a man to get you off by rubbing your clitoris if you don't know how yourself.
And don't even get me started about her views about women not kissing men for more than 10 seconds because it turns men on and that's a terrible thing to do if you don't plan on having sex with them.
Author seems very uneducated when it comes to gynecological issues. She links pain during intercourse strongly to vaginismus and said it's mostly in a woman's head with no mention of other true medical conditions like endometriosis.
If I could give this book anything less than 1 star I would.
This author believes that telling a man he needs to lose weight is okay, but telling a woman the same thing isn't? Oh, come on! She feels that it is the woman's fault that the man is overweight anyway because she feels that the women buy the groceries and prepare the meals. Do the women force feed their men too?!
The advice is terrible at best. She seems to think that the man should always be the one reaching around and rubbing the woman's clitoris. How about a woman taking action with her own body? Don't expect a man to get you off by rubbing your clitoris if you don't know how yourself.
And don't even get me started about her views about women not kissing men for more than 10 seconds because it turns men on and that's a terrible thing to do if you don't plan on having sex with them.
Author seems very uneducated when it comes to gynecological issues. She links pain during intercourse strongly to vaginismus and said it's mostly in a woman's head with no mention of other true medical conditions like endometriosis.
If I could give this book anything less than 1 star I would.
March 6, 2012
You would think that after 30 years of marriage I would not be shocked about sex. You would think I would "know enough" or "know it all". I mean, how many ways can you do it anyway? Forget I said that, because Sheila Wray Gregoire the author of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex will not only tell you the many ways, she will tell them in very descriptive detail. I am over 50 years old and I was blushing as I read this book! However, at the same time I was laughing my head off at her humorous way of getting to the subject at hand.
This book is perfect to give to someone who is about to get married and has never had sex before. It's even perfect for someone who has been married a long time like me. I learned things about men that I hadn't realized before - they ARE ALL THE SAME! LOL! They do desire sex - frequently - BUT they don't desire it for the reasons you think. That was the best lesson I learned in this book - the differences between a man's love language and a woman's and what happens when those different needs aren't met. Women will learn a lot, but I think men will benefit too, as it will help them understand the female mind a little better.
Sheila has done an awesome job of bringing all the elements of a relationship together - emotional, physical and spiritual. Showing us how important each of these facets of a relationship make our sex life stronger and sweeter. You will enjoy this book and all the "sexy" tips that run throughout and in the process you will strengthen your marriage.
I am going to be interviewing Sheila and sharing that interview here in the future. So, if you have any questions pop them off to me and I'll see if I can get them answered.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex comes out tomorrow, March 6 and will be available everywhere. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars.
This book is perfect to give to someone who is about to get married and has never had sex before. It's even perfect for someone who has been married a long time like me. I learned things about men that I hadn't realized before - they ARE ALL THE SAME! LOL! They do desire sex - frequently - BUT they don't desire it for the reasons you think. That was the best lesson I learned in this book - the differences between a man's love language and a woman's and what happens when those different needs aren't met. Women will learn a lot, but I think men will benefit too, as it will help them understand the female mind a little better.
Sheila has done an awesome job of bringing all the elements of a relationship together - emotional, physical and spiritual. Showing us how important each of these facets of a relationship make our sex life stronger and sweeter. You will enjoy this book and all the "sexy" tips that run throughout and in the process you will strengthen your marriage.
I am going to be interviewing Sheila and sharing that interview here in the future. So, if you have any questions pop them off to me and I'll see if I can get them answered.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex comes out tomorrow, March 6 and will be available everywhere. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars.
February 15, 2022
Finally! A book about sex that will actually be helpful for higher and lower drive women alike!
I read the first edition of Good Girl's Guide after I got married and was dealing with the disappointment of being a higher drive wife. In my desperate internet search for answers, I came across Sheila's blog, which was very helpful in assuaging the fear that I was the only woman whose healthy, faithful husband didn't want sex as often as I did. I picked up the first edition and found it leaps and bounds better than the other sex books I'd read before marriage. I understood how my female body responded to arousal and sexual stimulation much better. But, aside from the statistic that I was 1 in 4 or 5 higher drive wives, I didn't have a lot to help me cope with how rejected and unloved I felt. After all, my husband was still supposed to need sex and derive a sense of worth from sex in a way I didn't and couldn't really understand.
In this new edition, Sheila dedicates most of the book to sex itself: the physical, emotional, and spiritual components. Those discussions apply universally and are excellent.
When she does address libido differences, she first discusses the differences between responsive and spontaneous libido, and then takes an entire paragraph to address the spontaneous libido wives who are married to responsive libido husbands. Thank you! No other Christian sex and marriage resource that I've read acknowledges that couples like us CAN and DO exist when nothing nefarious is going on. Not only do I feel seen (thank you for not telling me that lower drive wives have it worse) but I also now have actual things I can work on to help ME be more content with our sex life and to seek companionship and validation through other means.
I also have a vision for life beyond kids and I know that sex will get better in the years after I'm done having babies. That's a long way away right now: I want a big family. But I can be patient with my husband and with the passage of time in our marriage.
I needed this book so badly as a newlywed, and I'm glad it's finally in the world. I'll be gifting this along with the companion Good Guy's Guide to every engaged couple I know for the rest of my life.
I read the first edition of Good Girl's Guide after I got married and was dealing with the disappointment of being a higher drive wife. In my desperate internet search for answers, I came across Sheila's blog, which was very helpful in assuaging the fear that I was the only woman whose healthy, faithful husband didn't want sex as often as I did. I picked up the first edition and found it leaps and bounds better than the other sex books I'd read before marriage. I understood how my female body responded to arousal and sexual stimulation much better. But, aside from the statistic that I was 1 in 4 or 5 higher drive wives, I didn't have a lot to help me cope with how rejected and unloved I felt. After all, my husband was still supposed to need sex and derive a sense of worth from sex in a way I didn't and couldn't really understand.
In this new edition, Sheila dedicates most of the book to sex itself: the physical, emotional, and spiritual components. Those discussions apply universally and are excellent.
When she does address libido differences, she first discusses the differences between responsive and spontaneous libido, and then takes an entire paragraph to address the spontaneous libido wives who are married to responsive libido husbands. Thank you! No other Christian sex and marriage resource that I've read acknowledges that couples like us CAN and DO exist when nothing nefarious is going on. Not only do I feel seen (thank you for not telling me that lower drive wives have it worse) but I also now have actual things I can work on to help ME be more content with our sex life and to seek companionship and validation through other means.
I also have a vision for life beyond kids and I know that sex will get better in the years after I'm done having babies. That's a long way away right now: I want a big family. But I can be patient with my husband and with the passage of time in our marriage.
I needed this book so badly as a newlywed, and I'm glad it's finally in the world. I'll be gifting this along with the companion Good Guy's Guide to every engaged couple I know for the rest of my life.
February 19, 2022
The best book I've ever read about having a Christian marriage and the gifts God has given us to be able to enjoy and fulfill our spouses. I have always struggled my whole life with the mindset that sex couldn't all be holy because it was off limits before marriage. I wanted to be pure until marriage, and I was, but once I was married I never allowed myself to really let go and surrender myself completely to my husband. I always seemed to hold back. This book helped me to realize so many things about myself and gave me biblical references to assure me that, with my husband, all aspects of sex are ok and were created by God for us to enjoy inside the union of marriage. I also appreciated how it explained how men think so differently than a woman regarding sex - I felt like the book was talking about me part of the time, so relatable. I feel so renewed after reading this book!
March 17, 2017
Hilarious, right? Not only did I read this book, but I'm admitting it on Goodreads. But don't be fooled by the racy title: this isn't a manual of sex tips, but a treatise on intimacy in a Christian marriage, and possibly the best marriage book I've ever read. I would definitely recommend this book to newlyweds or anyone who feels that they have struggles connecting with their partner. This book explains a healthy Christian view of marriage--and sadly, there are a lot of Christian marriage books out there that AREN'T healthy. Such books are usually written by men and put undue responsibility on the wife while making excuses for the husband. This book is well-balanced and doesn't let either partner off the hook--both need to work together and take each other's needs and desires into account seriously.
I found this book so uplifting. I loved the author's take on the differences between men and women. The differences in the personalities and needs of men and women can easily become a source of resentment in a marriage, but actually these differences need to be respected and even celebrated, because they are part of God's perfect design and have a purpose. It was also nice to read about other people's experiences and how they overcame struggles in their marriages. This book gave me lots of warm fuzzies.
Both hubby and I picked it up and found it a fun read, and a lot of it resonated with us. I can't say we actually learned anything new, since we've been married for six years and are fantastic at communicating, but this book would have been really useful to us if we'd found it earlier in our marriage. We wouldn't have had to talk and talk and work things out and struggle with negative emotions--this book spells it all out, with anecdotes from many couples. I can see how we would have had a couple of eureka moments if we'd read it a few years ago.
I found this book so uplifting. I loved the author's take on the differences between men and women. The differences in the personalities and needs of men and women can easily become a source of resentment in a marriage, but actually these differences need to be respected and even celebrated, because they are part of God's perfect design and have a purpose. It was also nice to read about other people's experiences and how they overcame struggles in their marriages. This book gave me lots of warm fuzzies.
Both hubby and I picked it up and found it a fun read, and a lot of it resonated with us. I can't say we actually learned anything new, since we've been married for six years and are fantastic at communicating, but this book would have been really useful to us if we'd found it earlier in our marriage. We wouldn't have had to talk and talk and work things out and struggle with negative emotions--this book spells it all out, with anecdotes from many couples. I can see how we would have had a couple of eureka moments if we'd read it a few years ago.
October 16, 2019
The chapter on sexual mechanics has accurate, if very basic, information.
The rest of it is littered with these charming bits of wisdom.
On husbands: "once he has made love once, he's far more likely to take more time the second time to make it nice for you too."
On bodily autonomy and consent: "you can say no to some things, but be careful about saying no to vaginal sex unless health issues are involved or you're taking some time to reacquaint your body with the good things that sex can bring after recovery from sexual abuse or trauma." (Not interested? Irritated with partner and need some space? Tapped out after a long day of work or childcare? Not a good enough reason to decline an invitation to sex, according to Sheila.
On relationships: "For women to get our deepest needs for relationship met, we need to focus on our spouses' needs for sex. For men to get their deepest needs for sex met, they need to focus on our need for relationship." Because men are soulless animals who only want to rut in the dirt but can play at being in love in order to get some, and women are pure chaste creatures who can enjoy sex if it's what will get us a holy connection of souls.
Barf. I am so glad I'm not in this woman's marriage.
The rest of it is littered with these charming bits of wisdom.
On husbands: "once he has made love once, he's far more likely to take more time the second time to make it nice for you too."
On bodily autonomy and consent: "you can say no to some things, but be careful about saying no to vaginal sex unless health issues are involved or you're taking some time to reacquaint your body with the good things that sex can bring after recovery from sexual abuse or trauma." (Not interested? Irritated with partner and need some space? Tapped out after a long day of work or childcare? Not a good enough reason to decline an invitation to sex, according to Sheila.
On relationships: "For women to get our deepest needs for relationship met, we need to focus on our spouses' needs for sex. For men to get their deepest needs for sex met, they need to focus on our need for relationship." Because men are soulless animals who only want to rut in the dirt but can play at being in love in order to get some, and women are pure chaste creatures who can enjoy sex if it's what will get us a holy connection of souls.
Barf. I am so glad I'm not in this woman's marriage.
December 23, 2018
How do I write a review for this book without being totally embarrassed? I guess I can't.
This book is for several categories of ladies. I was in the freaking-out-because-I-was-about-to-get-married category. This book told me to relax and enjoy the, er, physical side of marriage. Don't try to get it right the first time. There is no right way. And God created this to be fun, not dreaded.
This book is for several categories of ladies. I was in the freaking-out-because-I-was-about-to-get-married category. This book told me to relax and enjoy the, er, physical side of marriage. Don't try to get it right the first time. There is no right way. And God created this to be fun, not dreaded.
February 15, 2022
Too many Christian women have been taught harmful messages about sex. This book is full of beauty and redemption for women (and men) as we learn to embrace hot and holy sex that honors men, women and Jesus! I am so thankful for Sheila’s teaching and wish that every Christian on the planet could read this book!
January 25, 2019
An informative book with some great ideas! My husband even read it without telling me lol! A great read for anyone wanting to improve their marriage 💕❤💝
February 19, 2022
I enjoyed reading this updated version of Sheila’s new book. It is eye opening in so many areas. The book has great content on mutual pleasure, intimacy and a descriptive diagram on the sex cycle and she points out the pros and cons on birth control options which I really liked about this book for education and knowledge. I highly recommend this to everyone to read it is the best book and very transparent in the research they have done. Sheila and her team have done a fantastic job.
November 18, 2019
Let me start off by saying that I did not finish the book. This book was ordered as a “bible study” for our chapel previous to my arrival there. As I opened the book, I stumbled upon this defamation that angered me because I know it was a complete fabrication of her imagination.
Refer to page 166: “Unfortunately, one sector of the Christian church has this bizarre and dangerous belief that God and sex don’t go together. They figure that if God were ever to think about sex, he’d arrange for us to do it like the chaste Mexicans, with a sheet draped over the women with a hole cut out so that only the absolute necessary parts touch. They think sex God’s way must banish all the carnal desire, messiness, and awkwardness.”
Where exactly did she get this information about Mexicans??? She gives no source whatsoever. I’m Mexican, I have never in my life heard of such a custom. I called my mom to see if she knew anything and was also shocked that someone would describe us in such a way that it portrayed us in a very bad light with no facts. For her to have the audacity to say something so demeaning and derogatory about another culture with no truth to it is really a disgrace and she should be ashamed of herself.
I tried to read the book, perhaps to see where she was going with all of this none sense. But I just couldn’t. This author is judgmental, misogynistic, and insults people’s looks (pg. 29). From the little that I read, she tells women that they are “a sad girl” (pg.17) for not having a “pristine past.” Where does she get off judging women???
This book left me feeling angered that such a women exist, where they judge and put down any other women for not being their vision of what they believe a “Christian” women should be.
If you want to return to archaic and misogynistic ideals with your significant other, then this is the book for you. If however you wish to burn and stand against these ideals, burn this book.
Refer to page 166: “Unfortunately, one sector of the Christian church has this bizarre and dangerous belief that God and sex don’t go together. They figure that if God were ever to think about sex, he’d arrange for us to do it like the chaste Mexicans, with a sheet draped over the women with a hole cut out so that only the absolute necessary parts touch. They think sex God’s way must banish all the carnal desire, messiness, and awkwardness.”
Where exactly did she get this information about Mexicans??? She gives no source whatsoever. I’m Mexican, I have never in my life heard of such a custom. I called my mom to see if she knew anything and was also shocked that someone would describe us in such a way that it portrayed us in a very bad light with no facts. For her to have the audacity to say something so demeaning and derogatory about another culture with no truth to it is really a disgrace and she should be ashamed of herself.
I tried to read the book, perhaps to see where she was going with all of this none sense. But I just couldn’t. This author is judgmental, misogynistic, and insults people’s looks (pg. 29). From the little that I read, she tells women that they are “a sad girl” (pg.17) for not having a “pristine past.” Where does she get off judging women???
This book left me feeling angered that such a women exist, where they judge and put down any other women for not being their vision of what they believe a “Christian” women should be.
If you want to return to archaic and misogynistic ideals with your significant other, then this is the book for you. If however you wish to burn and stand against these ideals, burn this book.
August 9, 2021
First of all, the title is extremely misleading. It is written from a Christian perspective, but as a Christian myself, it was extremely offensive and off putting how she frames sexuality, and constantly diminishing the importance of the erotic side of it.
Her use of good girl/bad girl was judgmental and hurtful, throwing out “research” (blog surveys) here and there to back up her claims of people regretting sex before marriage. She repeatedly framed men as ones who have a need for sex unlike women and pressures the idea of submitting to your husband’s sexual needs…even if you don’t feel like it. She never dives into creating better intimacy to help increase desire, but rather simplifies men into animals that need the physical aspect of sex and it’s only because women are able to reign it in and focus on the relational aspect that helps them have a good marriage. As if men don’t care about anything but sex. She consistently describes women as low desire beings who just need to appease their husbands because “your body belongs to him”.
It’s all about spirituality and she diminishes the physical aspect of it completely and looks down on you if you want to enjoy sex physically. She brings everything back to pornography and says that sex toys are not to be used because it doesn’t resemble what an actual penis can do and it takes away from your marriage. Oral, anal, or anything “unnatural” stems from pornography and she discourages doing those things because they should all be about spirituality, and it can’t be if it triggers your husband to think about porn. Her talk about pornography just makes me so sad for all the Christians reading because there is so much shame, judgment, and misunderstanding surrounding it.
These damaging messages are why there is so much shame in conservative religious cultures and it boils my blood that she is contributing to that. Do not read this book if you want to have a sex positive mindset.
Her use of good girl/bad girl was judgmental and hurtful, throwing out “research” (blog surveys) here and there to back up her claims of people regretting sex before marriage. She repeatedly framed men as ones who have a need for sex unlike women and pressures the idea of submitting to your husband’s sexual needs…even if you don’t feel like it. She never dives into creating better intimacy to help increase desire, but rather simplifies men into animals that need the physical aspect of sex and it’s only because women are able to reign it in and focus on the relational aspect that helps them have a good marriage. As if men don’t care about anything but sex. She consistently describes women as low desire beings who just need to appease their husbands because “your body belongs to him”.
It’s all about spirituality and she diminishes the physical aspect of it completely and looks down on you if you want to enjoy sex physically. She brings everything back to pornography and says that sex toys are not to be used because it doesn’t resemble what an actual penis can do and it takes away from your marriage. Oral, anal, or anything “unnatural” stems from pornography and she discourages doing those things because they should all be about spirituality, and it can’t be if it triggers your husband to think about porn. Her talk about pornography just makes me so sad for all the Christians reading because there is so much shame, judgment, and misunderstanding surrounding it.
These damaging messages are why there is so much shame in conservative religious cultures and it boils my blood that she is contributing to that. Do not read this book if you want to have a sex positive mindset.
August 16, 2021
Okay, I never ever leave a one star review on a book, but y’all this book is garbage! Very single minded in relation to sex. I had flashbacks from catholic school.
I initially thought well maybe 13-15 year old girls would read this, but the more it went on the more ridiculous it spieled. For instance, it said good girls should not get boys or men worked up because it stated the good girl is ENDANGERING the male whom she works up!! A bunch of crap!
Plus it was so stereotypical stating how men and women feel completely different about sex and of course the women is always cleaning and cooking.
Hello!! We are 2021…DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! There are many other Christian Sex books out there that is based on facts and not just people they asked at church.
I initially thought well maybe 13-15 year old girls would read this, but the more it went on the more ridiculous it spieled. For instance, it said good girls should not get boys or men worked up because it stated the good girl is ENDANGERING the male whom she works up!! A bunch of crap!
Plus it was so stereotypical stating how men and women feel completely different about sex and of course the women is always cleaning and cooking.
Hello!! We are 2021…DO NOT READ THIS BOOK! There are many other Christian Sex books out there that is based on facts and not just people they asked at church.
January 8, 2016
FYI: This is a jesus book. I don't know WHY she would write a jesus sex book ... but this is it. Obviously being a good girl doesn't mean being a decent person, it means being a bible bashing jesus freak. If you like jesus and all that, then this book is for you! If you are just trying to read about sex tip.. then you may want to try another book. I am not trying to be mean, I just wish I would have known about it's jesus properties before I bought it, but that's what this site is for!
March 15, 2022
Sheila Wray Gregoire has written a book that covers everything you need to know to get your sex life off to a great start in marriage, and she has done so in a way that is comfortable to read. It feels like Sheila is an older sister or a close friend who is giving helpful tips and advice. She is open, honest, caring, and straightforward.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex is a unique book. It has all the information a young bride needs, but it isn’t filled with explicit, dry, or overly-medical instructions. Sheila gives enough information that the wife will be prepared to explore sexual intimacy with her husband, but not so much information that it feels icky to read or that she will get bogged down while reading.
Sheila did an excellent job of pointing out potential red flags to wives. She lets the reader know when situations or symptoms aren’t right and when it is a good idea to see a counselor or a doctor.
I was pleased to notice that at one point when health issues were mentioned, the author did not tell the reader that sexual intimacy might not be possible. Instead, she mentioned other ways couples can be intimate. There wasn’t much information given about sex when there is an illness, but there was enough information given that the reader can begin to imagine how intimacy might be possible even with physical limitations.
There are two excellent appendices at the end of The Good Girl's Guide. One is an appendix titled, “How to Have an Amazing Honeymoon,” and it is filled with good and practical advice. The other appendix contains discussion questions for engaged couples and for married couples. These are great questions to go through with your fiancé or husband after he reads the companion book, The Good Guys Guide to Great Sex.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex is the book that every engaged or newlywed woman needs! It will also be helpful for those who have been married for many years, but have never been given good and healthy instruction for sexual intimacy within marriage. This will be my go-to bridal shower gift. I recommend it!
I received an advanced review copy of this book.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex is a unique book. It has all the information a young bride needs, but it isn’t filled with explicit, dry, or overly-medical instructions. Sheila gives enough information that the wife will be prepared to explore sexual intimacy with her husband, but not so much information that it feels icky to read or that she will get bogged down while reading.
Sheila did an excellent job of pointing out potential red flags to wives. She lets the reader know when situations or symptoms aren’t right and when it is a good idea to see a counselor or a doctor.
I was pleased to notice that at one point when health issues were mentioned, the author did not tell the reader that sexual intimacy might not be possible. Instead, she mentioned other ways couples can be intimate. There wasn’t much information given about sex when there is an illness, but there was enough information given that the reader can begin to imagine how intimacy might be possible even with physical limitations.
There are two excellent appendices at the end of The Good Girl's Guide. One is an appendix titled, “How to Have an Amazing Honeymoon,” and it is filled with good and practical advice. The other appendix contains discussion questions for engaged couples and for married couples. These are great questions to go through with your fiancé or husband after he reads the companion book, The Good Guys Guide to Great Sex.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex is the book that every engaged or newlywed woman needs! It will also be helpful for those who have been married for many years, but have never been given good and healthy instruction for sexual intimacy within marriage. This will be my go-to bridal shower gift. I recommend it!
I received an advanced review copy of this book.
February 23, 2022
This is the book I wish I had read before getting married. The chapters on sex being more than just physical but also spiritual and relational were especially meaningful to me. I like how the sexual response cycle is covered in the book. I had never heard that explained before, and it has been so helpful in understanding my own libido. Shelia shows that sex is supposed to be mutual, pleasurable, and intimate for both. Throughout the book you will find stories, advice, and ways to make you marriage and sex life better whether you're newlyweds or have been married for many years, whether you are the higher libido spouse or the lower libido spouse, or whether sex has been great in your marriage or sex has been a disappointment in your marriage. I highly recommend this book.
March 4, 2022
Being brought up in the church through the height of the purity movement, I’ve read my fair share of books in this genre but none of them sat right or frankly were very helpful. I couldn’t figure out why until my own story with its associated hurt and betrayal prompted me to look deeper at what God actually says about sex and gender roles. This lead me to Gregoire’s book The Great Sex Rescue (see my review) which put words to why it all felt wrong for all those years and immediately made me want a companion book. One that answers the question, “If the way the church teaches about sex in marriage is harmful, how should it be done?” This is it!!!
This book that starts out extremely basic in the “how-to” and “why” and gives practical advice that builds from pre-engagement through honeymoon and all stages of marriage. The emphasis on biblical, researched-based ideas surrounding mutuality, the sexual response cycle, boundaries without obligation is the foundation of each chapter. I found myself emotional at times while reading—amazed at this tool God has created to show his love for us. I’m grateful that I now have a practical tool as I reformulate my own views of sex and a competent companion as I raise my 3 girls.
Overall, it feels like Gregoire is an older sister or mom communicating these topics in a gentle, truthful, biblical way while infusing just the right amount of humor. This is the way these sensitive but oh-so-important conversations must go. I recommend this book to any woman, single or married, and especially to mom’s seeking to raise children with a godly view of sex and gender roles.
A few of the quotes I want to remember:
“Our image of great sex and the reality of great sex are often two different things. You don’t need to be someone other than who you are to have great sex. The more you are free to be yourself, confident in who God made you to be, the better sex will be. No pretense. No mask. Just you.”
“Sex isn’t a thing, and it isn’t a concept. It’s an intimate experience between two people choosing to celebrate each other.”
The 3 aspects of great sex:
1. Learning how everything works physically.
2. Experiencing the deep connection that comes through making love.
3. Creating a great friendship that fuels passion.
“Sex isn’t the basis for our relationship; it’s a culmination f everything else, especially the friendship we share.”
“We often frame sex before marriage primary as a sin issue, where God will love us if we wait and will be angry if we don’t. I do believe that God’s intention is that we reserve sex for marriage, but I think that’s because he’s a protective God who wants our best. … But remember that rules alone can’t help you withstand temptation. This has to be a decision you make together with good reasons—so that you can grow other parts of your relationship before marriage, so that you can foster self-control, and so that you can be sure this is the right person for you.”
This book that starts out extremely basic in the “how-to” and “why” and gives practical advice that builds from pre-engagement through honeymoon and all stages of marriage. The emphasis on biblical, researched-based ideas surrounding mutuality, the sexual response cycle, boundaries without obligation is the foundation of each chapter. I found myself emotional at times while reading—amazed at this tool God has created to show his love for us. I’m grateful that I now have a practical tool as I reformulate my own views of sex and a competent companion as I raise my 3 girls.
Overall, it feels like Gregoire is an older sister or mom communicating these topics in a gentle, truthful, biblical way while infusing just the right amount of humor. This is the way these sensitive but oh-so-important conversations must go. I recommend this book to any woman, single or married, and especially to mom’s seeking to raise children with a godly view of sex and gender roles.
A few of the quotes I want to remember:
“Our image of great sex and the reality of great sex are often two different things. You don’t need to be someone other than who you are to have great sex. The more you are free to be yourself, confident in who God made you to be, the better sex will be. No pretense. No mask. Just you.”
“Sex isn’t a thing, and it isn’t a concept. It’s an intimate experience between two people choosing to celebrate each other.”
The 3 aspects of great sex:
1. Learning how everything works physically.
2. Experiencing the deep connection that comes through making love.
3. Creating a great friendship that fuels passion.
“Sex isn’t the basis for our relationship; it’s a culmination f everything else, especially the friendship we share.”
“We often frame sex before marriage primary as a sin issue, where God will love us if we wait and will be angry if we don’t. I do believe that God’s intention is that we reserve sex for marriage, but I think that’s because he’s a protective God who wants our best. … But remember that rules alone can’t help you withstand temptation. This has to be a decision you make together with good reasons—so that you can grow other parts of your relationship before marriage, so that you can foster self-control, and so that you can be sure this is the right person for you.”
January 14, 2019
My husband bought this book for me right before we got married (5/19/2012). I read this on our honeymoon and loved it. Before we got married I read The Act of Marriage and really enjoyed it but did find some parts a little outdated (mind you, I read the 1970's edition). I really really really love this book!!!! I don't 100% agree with everything in it, but overall I do. I would recommend this to any woman soon to be married, already married, or even just a woman who is mature enough to properly handle the material. Husbands, if you read this book, you might just understand your wives better, so I'd recommend it to y'all too :-)
Overall, a great book! I plan on reading it again in the future.
Overall, a great book! I plan on reading it again in the future.
July 29, 2019
I read this book for my Bible Study group and I'm surprised how much I loved it!
This book isn't just for married women, its also for those ladies who aren't married and want to learn about sex in a Christian marriage before they get married (or before the big day!).
There were many things I learned in this book, and one thing that stuck to me the most was that men view women's bodies as an amazing thing - they are just looking at our best features and not at our rolls. They see a naked women's body and immediately start fantasizing - so we shouldn't be so self conscious during sex!
There are so many other great topics talked about in this book, and I highly recommend!
This book isn't just for married women, its also for those ladies who aren't married and want to learn about sex in a Christian marriage before they get married (or before the big day!).
There were many things I learned in this book, and one thing that stuck to me the most was that men view women's bodies as an amazing thing - they are just looking at our best features and not at our rolls. They see a naked women's body and immediately start fantasizing - so we shouldn't be so self conscious during sex!
There are so many other great topics talked about in this book, and I highly recommend!
October 9, 2025
I really appreciate this book written from a biblical perspective. I think all engaged Christian girls should read this. It also was good for me to read as a newly married woman. It would be ideal if the subjects in this book were discussed in a healthy way within our churches,
but sadly that is not the case.
but sadly that is not the case.
August 9, 2025
I needed to read this a long time ago. It was a good read. Very contrary to what culture tells us about sex and intimacy. It was both practical, spiritual, included stats, and a lot of comments made on her research polls. I was encouraged to read this years ago, and I wish I had.
January 26, 2013
"Getting the physical side of marriage right may take some work, but it's a fun kind of work. And with the right attitude, we women can become the happiest wives who are married to the most satisfied husbands. That's what God wants for us, and that's what He'll help you do once you start getting excited about it. So jump in!"
Although the title might make you think this book is about ways to have great sex, in reality, this book is a no-holds-barred, frank, open, and honest look at the Christian marriage bed - from the basics that should be known on your marriage night, to developing a friendship and spiritual relationship with your spouse, to troubleshooting problems that are surprisingly common in sex.
Sheila approaches the whole book with a sense of humour and relating her personal experiences through challenges and learning. Although she is tactful, she's very clear at each step of the way.
Having surveyed over 1000 Christian married women while researching for this book, she learned a lot about the struggles that couples face in the bedroom and let's us hear their voices throughout the book as examples. For me, this was refreshing, because it often feels like any problems I have are my own and that there's no hope for me. But, it turns out I'm not alone - that my issues are actually quite common but rarely talked about.
I appreciated the fact that Sheila shared both a look at women's challenges AND men's challenges (from a wife point of view and how to help). I also like that she handles bigger issues like pornography addiction, and answers the top questions that readers ask about what is appropriate and what's not in a Christian marriage sex life.
Admittedly, this book made me a tad uncomfortable - probably because it deals with such personal issues. However, it did allow me to question my own issues and think about why they are even issues at all. It gave me ideas on how to make my marriage a priority and the benefits of having an active sex life with my spouse.
All in all, this book is a great help for married couples - even those with a great sex life. I think it would be a terrific wedding present for a newlywed friend as well as a fantastic resource for any married woman.
Thank you, Sheila, for being so willing to be blunt, open, and tackle a subject that far too often is considered taboo in Christian circles.
Although the title might make you think this book is about ways to have great sex, in reality, this book is a no-holds-barred, frank, open, and honest look at the Christian marriage bed - from the basics that should be known on your marriage night, to developing a friendship and spiritual relationship with your spouse, to troubleshooting problems that are surprisingly common in sex.
Sheila approaches the whole book with a sense of humour and relating her personal experiences through challenges and learning. Although she is tactful, she's very clear at each step of the way.
Having surveyed over 1000 Christian married women while researching for this book, she learned a lot about the struggles that couples face in the bedroom and let's us hear their voices throughout the book as examples. For me, this was refreshing, because it often feels like any problems I have are my own and that there's no hope for me. But, it turns out I'm not alone - that my issues are actually quite common but rarely talked about.
I appreciated the fact that Sheila shared both a look at women's challenges AND men's challenges (from a wife point of view and how to help). I also like that she handles bigger issues like pornography addiction, and answers the top questions that readers ask about what is appropriate and what's not in a Christian marriage sex life.
Admittedly, this book made me a tad uncomfortable - probably because it deals with such personal issues. However, it did allow me to question my own issues and think about why they are even issues at all. It gave me ideas on how to make my marriage a priority and the benefits of having an active sex life with my spouse.
All in all, this book is a great help for married couples - even those with a great sex life. I think it would be a terrific wedding present for a newlywed friend as well as a fantastic resource for any married woman.
Thank you, Sheila, for being so willing to be blunt, open, and tackle a subject that far too often is considered taboo in Christian circles.
March 4, 2022
I'd read the OG version of this book when I first got married. Now, 8 years later, I'm so glad to get to read the revised version! It's even better than before! So many of the ideas discussed are super simple yet profound. A few reminders that I need again and again are:
- If you can't say no, then it's not really consent. For me, my husband is pro-us and wants our relationship to mutually satisfying. Defeating some messed-up, disempowering messages from our culture has been challenging, but learning that it's okay to say no has made it way more fun to move forward with yes.
- How your sex life in your marriage is a journey - not a destination. Have fun. Enjoy each other. Praise God together. Give yourselves grace.
- It's okay to be a woman. It sounds really simple, but sometimes it's hard to remember that in a world that often seems to say, "If you're a girl, you suck!"
Anyway, if you're looking for a book to help you invest in your faith, yourself and your marriage - this is a great option!
- If you can't say no, then it's not really consent. For me, my husband is pro-us and wants our relationship to mutually satisfying. Defeating some messed-up, disempowering messages from our culture has been challenging, but learning that it's okay to say no has made it way more fun to move forward with yes.
- How your sex life in your marriage is a journey - not a destination. Have fun. Enjoy each other. Praise God together. Give yourselves grace.
- It's okay to be a woman. It sounds really simple, but sometimes it's hard to remember that in a world that often seems to say, "If you're a girl, you suck!"
Anyway, if you're looking for a book to help you invest in your faith, yourself and your marriage - this is a great option!
August 9, 2014
Scandalized by the title?
Wondering if this is a book about positions?
You shouldn't be scandalized, and Gregoire does a wonderful job showing how sex within marriage is designed by God to be "fun" and to be a physical representation of our relationship with Him.
In marriage, the man and the woman do become one and sex is an extension of that intimacy. Sex is not a "dirty" word, and it is not a "dirty" act.
Thorough research and countless interviews helps support this statement.
And yes, she will take about positions.
It may make some blush; it may make some giggle.
This book is good for the married woman, the soon-to-be married woman, and the single woman.
Not a virgin? Don't worry. You can start with a clean slate.
Sex life within your marriage swirling down that drain of "ho-hum"/"nonexistent"? This book will help you realize how to start over and relight the fire, or in some cases light the fire.
Wondering if this is a book about positions?
You shouldn't be scandalized, and Gregoire does a wonderful job showing how sex within marriage is designed by God to be "fun" and to be a physical representation of our relationship with Him.
In marriage, the man and the woman do become one and sex is an extension of that intimacy. Sex is not a "dirty" word, and it is not a "dirty" act.
Thorough research and countless interviews helps support this statement.
And yes, she will take about positions.
It may make some blush; it may make some giggle.
This book is good for the married woman, the soon-to-be married woman, and the single woman.
Not a virgin? Don't worry. You can start with a clean slate.
Sex life within your marriage swirling down that drain of "ho-hum"/"nonexistent"? This book will help you realize how to start over and relight the fire, or in some cases light the fire.
May 16, 2023
:D normalize talking about it girlies!!!!
September 11, 2025
Highly recommend this book for young Christian women (especially if you're on the brink of getting married). If you're like me and didn't get a proper sex education growing up, you'll find this book very enlightening. It explains the mechanics of sex and basic sexual terminologies in a simple, straightforward way. I thought I had the general idea before I got married - but boy, was it different than I expected! And if you, like myself, grew up in a sheltered religious home and were conditioned to believe it was bad to talk, think, or learn about sex - or if you view sex as dirty, scary, intimidating, or negative - read this book! It'll satisfy your natural curiosity, answer questions and concerns you may have, and show you how to view sex in a healthy, positive, godly light. Shelia Gregoire covers everything from the basics of sex to various sexual problems and baggage married couples may have to deal with, as well as tips to enhance your sexual experience. She also tactfully covers several controversial topics related to sex. I appreciate that Sheila isn't trying to guilt-trip you into giving your husband more sex (she even points out the negative effects obligation sex can have on both the husband and wife). Rather, this book is all about helping women discover their sexual side, get as much enjoyment as possible in the bedroom, and understand the beauty and benefits of healthy sex within marriage. I love that she emphasizes that God designed sex for both the husband AND the wife to be enjoyed mutually and equally. It seems like conservative Christian culture often makes sex out to be something that men alone need, and it is their wives' duty to fulfill that need to keep them out of trouble. This is such an unhealthy, one-sided mindset that will almost certainly bring resentment into marriage. Anyway, this book offers plenty of good advice for helping Christian women realize sexual satisfaction in their marriages.
I listened to and enjoyed the audio book, but I could see myself buying a physical copy at some point, especially as a resource for my own daughter when she's older.
I listened to and enjoyed the audio book, but I could see myself buying a physical copy at some point, especially as a resource for my own daughter when she's older.
March 14, 2022
I originally starting reading the first version of this book around six years ago, but stopped partway through when I found some things that didn't sit right with me. Sheila's blogs and her book, The Great S*x Rescue, have played a huge part in helping me relearn what the Bible says about intimacy, so I was thrilled when I heard that she was rewriting The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x. I really respect that, as an author, Sheila is willing to admit that her previous work has the potential to harm women, and that she has gone through all the work and expense of almost completely rewriting this book (as well as taking some of her books out of production).
As someone who grew up in purity culture and was deeply impacted by the harmful teachings of that era, I really struggled for the first several years of my marriage. My parents never really had any sort of "the birds and the bees" talk with me (I finally asked my grandma when I was a teen), I was completely unaware that women could org*sm until I was in my twenties, and the only time s*x was ever mentioned was to say that it was wrong and don't-you-dare-do-it-until-you're-married. But, when intimacy is portrayed as something dirty, impure, and only for husbands, it's nearly impossible to mentally flip the switch on your wedding night, and suddenly see it as pure and part of God's design for a healthy emotional connection in marriage. As you can imagine, the things that my parents and the Christian relationship books I'd read had taught me about s*xuality and intimacy didn't set me up for success in this area--and research has shown that I'm not the only one.
This is why I'm immensely grateful for authors like Sheila Wray Gregoire. The updated version of The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x is the book I wish I had had before getting married. Sheila has rewritten this book to show women that intimacy and s*x were created by God as a beautiful sacred part of marriage--and it's not just for men. She uses practical to-the-point language to discuss how s*x works, and how our bodies were created for pleasure. She also has included graphs and results from a survey of 20,000 women to show how harmful teachings have impacted how we view s*x. I also enjoyed the anecdotes and examples she included throughout the book, without being coarse or jumping straight into the TMI category like many Christian relationship books tend to do.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x will change the way Christian women view intimacy and help create a healthy foundation for marriage. This is a book that needs to be in the hands of every young woman, and should be a must-read before marriage. This is the one that counsellors and pastors need to be recommending to engaged (and married) couples instead of Love & Respect, Sheet Music, and other harmful resources.
*I received a complimentary copy of The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x through the publisher and NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own. My positive review is not required.
As someone who grew up in purity culture and was deeply impacted by the harmful teachings of that era, I really struggled for the first several years of my marriage. My parents never really had any sort of "the birds and the bees" talk with me (I finally asked my grandma when I was a teen), I was completely unaware that women could org*sm until I was in my twenties, and the only time s*x was ever mentioned was to say that it was wrong and don't-you-dare-do-it-until-you're-married. But, when intimacy is portrayed as something dirty, impure, and only for husbands, it's nearly impossible to mentally flip the switch on your wedding night, and suddenly see it as pure and part of God's design for a healthy emotional connection in marriage. As you can imagine, the things that my parents and the Christian relationship books I'd read had taught me about s*xuality and intimacy didn't set me up for success in this area--and research has shown that I'm not the only one.
This is why I'm immensely grateful for authors like Sheila Wray Gregoire. The updated version of The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x is the book I wish I had had before getting married. Sheila has rewritten this book to show women that intimacy and s*x were created by God as a beautiful sacred part of marriage--and it's not just for men. She uses practical to-the-point language to discuss how s*x works, and how our bodies were created for pleasure. She also has included graphs and results from a survey of 20,000 women to show how harmful teachings have impacted how we view s*x. I also enjoyed the anecdotes and examples she included throughout the book, without being coarse or jumping straight into the TMI category like many Christian relationship books tend to do.
The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x will change the way Christian women view intimacy and help create a healthy foundation for marriage. This is a book that needs to be in the hands of every young woman, and should be a must-read before marriage. This is the one that counsellors and pastors need to be recommending to engaged (and married) couples instead of Love & Respect, Sheet Music, and other harmful resources.
*I received a complimentary copy of The Good Girl's Guide to Great S*x through the publisher and NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own. My positive review is not required.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 365 reviews