Despite Himself

Despite Himself #1

by Kayleigh Patchett

Logan is a loner. Abused by his father and his brother, he finds safe refuge in an unexpected person. As that refuge turns into something more Logan must deal with resistance from all sides. Is just wanting to be loved too much to ask for?

Genres: M M Romance, Abuse, Contemporary, LGBT, Romance, Gay, Amazon

244 pages, Paperback

First published February 19, 2012

About the author

About the author

Ever since I was tiny (I'm not tall now but I was smaller once) I've been enraptured by romance and horror. I grew up watching Disney movies and my favourites have always been 'The little mermaid' and 'Beauty and the beast'. The way the relationships develop in these stories were what really sparked my love of romance. I've always been an avid reader whether it be a goosebumps book or 'blood and chocolate' when I was younger and James Herbert, Christine Feehan or Gena Showalter now I'm older. It was my enjoyment of reading that made me want to write my own stories and develop my own characters and situations.

I wrote my first full novella when I was eleven, from the very first chapter I was hooked on writing. I found I could truly be me when I was writing or planning a story or poem and as someone with dealing with mental health issues, it allowed me to explore things I never thought I would get to experience.
Horror has fascinated me since I accidently caught a bit of a scary film when I was about six. My biggest problem with horror is the fact that I don’t get scared… I’ve been known to accidently snigger at something ‘horrifying’ at the cinema and I’ve yet to find a book or film that puts the fear into me. I’ll keep looking until I do and I know I’ll thoroughly enjoy every minute of the search. Still, even though very little (beside everyday life) scares me, I have a deep love and respect for horror and I love writing and drawing it.

It took me a lot longer to learn how to edit than it did to write and I don’t mind admitting that it wasn’t until about 2016 that I felt I could do it well enough to think about properly publishing. I have three novels already written and I’m immensely proud of the stories and the characters I’ve managed to create in them. For the few years it took me to write and edit them, I lived with them in my mind, they drove me to get better mentally and they helped me to grow as a person. Despite Himself was the first novel, followed by Kandy and Kisses and then Run Away With Me. I put my heart and soul into the trilogy and I loved every single millisecond. They aren’t everyone’s cup of tea; they’re all based around gay romance, something that I felt I wanted to explore and share. I’m fascinated by and am totally in love with love; whatever shapes, sizes, sexes, preferences or whatever package it comes in. I think it should be celebrated and shared, and the main six characters that feature in these books really shone and came into their own. It was a joy to work with them and I would love to revisit them in the future, either with a novella or more in the series.
This book though, is zombie romance. (Not the icky kind). Zombies Don’t Knock has been a story that built over the years I was writing my first trilogy and the week I finally finished ‘Run Away With me’, I dived into zombie books and films, completely submerging myself in the world of zombies and horror so I could write the best book I possible. I loved the idea of merging horror and romance and erotica. I squished the names together (horrormance and horrorerotica) and I really like how they sound.
Zombies have been done many times and I wanted mine to be different. I researched and thought about it and spent a lot of time deliberating, finally putting my own twist on them. The characters developed naturally along the way and I became enamoured, even with two that were meant to die earlier in the story. I couldn’t let them go; I just can’t end their lives when they’d become important not only to the other characters but to me as well. They even got a dog along the way which was completely unplanned! :} I’m a bit of a pushover but as long as the characters mostly behave and don’t muck up the plot, I let them have a certain amount of freedom.

I’m always happy to answer questions and I would love to see fan art and writing! Please send me things!

Reviews

[Joan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t mind first person present tense with frequent changes of POV. In the hands of a good writer it can draw a reader into a story and can be very effective. I do find it incredibly irritating to be told at the start of each chapter or change exactly whose POV it is! As in ‘Logan’s POV’, ‘ Brian’s POV’ etc. It pulls me out of the story, reminds me that this IS a story I am reading, and I find it really jarring. If the writer had simply put : ‘Felix’ .. or ‘Logan’.. at the start that would have been sufficient, but she seems to think the reader might not understand.

The idea of the story is reasonably sound: abused younger brother in a dysfunctional family. Fair enough, but the writer then goes on to portray the mother as a kind, gentle, loving woman who seems to be totally unaware of what has happened to Logan in the past and what is happening to him right now. And that is rubbish. NO mother would have been ignorant of the abuse that Logan suffered at the hands of his father. Knives? Glass? Boiling water? That leaves hideous scars. They would have needed treating. She must have known. Please don’t expect me to believe that she didn’t. That is my first niggle.

So anyway to the rest of the story. And here is my second niggle. We are also expected to believe that four young working men, wealthy enough to drive metallic burgundy Astras and silver VW Golfs ( the insurance will be hideously expensive for a start!) would actually go to Skegness of all places for an off-peak holiday. SKEGNESS!!! That died a death years ago! Sorry. No way. Ibiza, Greece, Tenerife, Majorca, Croatia maybe, where the accommodation and drinks are cheaper, the nightclubs better, the girls sexier and the weather hotter and drier, but not Skegness. Never Skegness. Please do your research. As for the Service Station on the motorway having only one Men’s toilet – sorry, ever heard of urinals? Service stations are geared up to mass numbers of travellers.

Third niggle. We have no idea what these young men do for a living, but whatever it is, please can I have a job there as well? There they are, on an off-peak holiday so they are obviously not teachers, and they can simply call in work and have a few more weeks absence! Wonderful! And they can afford to spend at least another thousand pounds or more on two more weeks holiday?? Lucky sods. And Logan who is at college, can still manage to miss the first weeks back of a new term? Unlikely.

And there is more. This is a story written by an American I guess. Please get the facts right. It’s a fringe, not bangs; we don’t eat pancakes and syrup as an everyday breakfast. Little details like that make a story ring false.

The writer has several fixations as well; hair, eyes and toilet usage all come under her intense scrutiny. We get detailed descriptions of various coloured hair: short brow, deep mahogany, a very dark shade of dirty blonde, Logan with hair down past his waist. And further descriptions of eyes. Oh Please. Not the Mary Sue of odd coloured eyes.

My real niggle with the story is that none of the characters are believable. They are supposed to be men, even Loan who is not old enough to drink but has to be at least 17, which is past the age of consent, and yet they all talk and act like fourteen year old girls. The scene in the ‘candy’ shop is a prime example.

I finally lost any interest in the story when it came to Felix phoning his parents and telling them he was gay. It had no credibility after that. Not one parent voiced any concerns about being ‘safe’, about making sure they were using condoms. AIDS still exists.

I gave up reading at this point.

[Ilona Fenton · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I was a little surprised at this book because it was all first person, present tense, with frequent changes of POV. I haven't come across it very often but with this story it worked really well and the story really flowed. Logan came across as a very sensitive and artistic guy who has been bullied by his father and big brother all his life. This is graphically described at times (but is no more than fists etc.) so if you don't like to read about violence of a domestic nature this one might not be for you. Logan's refuge is a very determined guy who is gentle and cares for Logan and the contrast (especially as given through the POV changes) is very intense. I was moved to tears towards the end, and as I have mentioned in previous reviews, an author who can move me like that deserves to get a 5*

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know I probably shouldn't, but I'm giving this book 5 stars just for Logan alone. I can't help it. He's exactly the type of character that I can't resist. He's shy, scared, damaged and absolutely 100% adorable. The story was good. A little predictable, but good. The writing was good. I know a lot of reviewers didn't like the switch in POVs, but I don't mind that. And I didn't mind that the POV switch was noted at the top of each chapter. Yes it may seem a little clunky, but I like to know what the characters are thinking and I did like the inclusion of the side characters.

On to William's story...

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I downloaded this book because it was free on amazon and had no idea what to expect. I'm not a fan of books written in first POV and this book had many first POVs. It was Always clear who it was that did the thinking but I still found it a bit confusing with the POVs.

The story is about Logan and Felix, about coming out, friendship and abuse, but also about lacking parents and a great deal of naivety.

[Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good story. But like other reviewers have noted, too many editing issues. I was also very frustrated with the lack of action from any of the supporting characters in the book regarding Logans abuse. However, when I think about it, in reality this occurs often. People witness abuse to others on a daily basis and do not get involved. They often think someone else will take action or speak up, but this doesn't always happen. Looking forward to the next book in this series.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The story, the characters, Felix and Logan's budding romance. My only complaint is that Logan didn't press charges and get his creep of a brother hauled off to prison. I hate the idea that he is still out there and that their mom is so oblivious to his pain.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This was a really sweet, touching story of first love and discovery. If you like cute love stories with HEA then you will enjoy this book. The boys are so damn adorable! A nice short read to curl up with.

[SheReadsALot]

FREE ON AMAZON!!

http://www.amazon.com/Despite-Himself...

[Laura Warby · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was well written, and engaging. I felt a great deal of empathy for the main characters, and felt like the story flowed well and easily.

[Nisi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg, I loved this story. Felt so bad for Logan but, was glad he found a relationship and friends who supported him. Great series.

[lesley dawn wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite himself

Despite himself

Despite himself is a good read very exciting keeps you on your toes to the end but it's good can't wait to read the next one

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great and then

I really enjoyed most of the book Towards the middle it just slows down and then it feels like it's never gonna end.

[Mel]

I actually don't really know how to rate this book. First, I have to say though that I was totally drawn into the book and couldn't put it down, and it was really fun to read it. But... There are enough things that were not so good. I got the book as a freebie and so I am not complaining. Anyway, here's what I liked and what I didn't...

- The book is written in alternating 1st person's POV between the MCs. That worked good for me. I like 1st person narrating. It makes me feel closer to the characters. The alternating POV was great, cause sometimes it is just too one sighted in a 1st person POV.
- There is a slow build-up in the story and the relationship. For both of them it's their first relationship and I thought that was quite well done.
- The age of the boys / men was a bit confusing to me. They seem very young-adulty, judging from their behaviour and living with their parents, but they are in college or working. Well, it didn't bother me much. Actually, it underlined the vibe of the book. Everything felt a bit like being in a bubble. Of course, most of the book plays in a long holiday, apart from any daily life routines.
- First I wasn't sure if there would be any sexy scenes, and because of the slow build-up we have to wait some time, but there are plenty enough. I thought they were well written, discovering, intimate and full of feeling.
- Come to think of it, I don't really like the abusive part with Logan's brother... Or mainly, I don't like that they don't solve the situation to my liking. Just moving out, not going to the police, is not enough for me. Does his mother know? What's the further plan? I read in one of the reviews for the next book that there is some closure concerning this part, though.
- Now the real bad part of the book. There were so, so many typos and grammatical bugs. I am not a native speaker and if I am put off by it, it must be real, real bad. Actually, that is why I am not sure about spending money on the next two books in the series.

[Linda ~ they got the mustard out! ~]

DNF - The really annoying thing about this book is that there's a good story here. It's just buried under amateur writing, all the m/m cliches from all the m/m books written before it, and a serious lack of depth in both the characters and the text, especially considering the issues its trying to address. I don't want to nor need to read sex scenes (or in my case skip through them) between a traumatized, battered kid who really shouldn't even be able to move all that well considering the beat down he got just two days prior, and his white knight savior with a protective streak a mile wide yet he never once cottoned on in all the years of knowing them that the kid was getting beat up by his brother.

I'm not entirely convinced that Logan isn't the male-version of the "damsel in distress" trope. Then Felix is disgusted with himself for having gay feelings, and a day later is totally okay with the gay to the point he's making out in front of his friends? Um, no. It doesn't really work that fast. William is nice, but he's written so OTT he comes across like a 8-yr old girl. The book actually describes him once as acting like a little girl. Brian is the cardboard cutout villain. Andy is his cardboard cutout sidekick. Jerry so far as the most potential to be interesting but that's only because we know so little about him.

I thought I could power through and skim to the end to find out the basics of what happens, but I can't any more with this book. The cliches are piling up and I have a feeling it's just going to get worse from here.

[Corinne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Downloaded as a freebie. Sweet, yet heart-wrenching at times, this tells the story of Logan and Felix. Felix is a good friend of Brian, a little older than Logan. Brian is abusive to his brother Logan. While on a holiday that Logan is forced to take with them, Felix and Logan find themselves falling for one another. Once Felix learns of Brian's abusive nature towards Logan, everyone else begins to realize Brian's true colors.

There are some editing and style issues - including long paragraphs that go on for ages and a lack of indentation on my kindle. It's also 1st person narrative where the POV switches each chapter, and it's not always between the two main characters. The side characters (William and Jerry) and Brian also get POV chapters. It can get a little bit confusing, and not everyone seemed to have their own voice.

I loved William! Great spastic character. Jerry left me curious and Brian was a bit flat. I wish there was more exploration into his character. Logan and Felix were both enjoyable characters, and their struggles pulled at my heartstrings.

Overall, it was a good read that I really enjoyed.

[Emeziel · Rating 3 out of 5]

No, seriously, was the mother blind?