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The Cost of Knowing
Four starred reviews!
Dear Martin meets They Both Die at the End in this gripping, evocative novel about a Black teen who has the power to see into the future, whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death, from the acclaimed author of SLAY .
Sixteen-year-old Alex Rufus is trying his best. He tries to be the best employee he can be at the local ice cream shop; the best boyfriend he can be to his amazing girlfriend, Talia; the best protector he can be over his little brother, Isaiah. But as much as Alex tries, he often comes up short.
It’s hard to for him to be present when every time he touches an object or person, Alex sees into its future. When he touches a scoop, he has a vision of him using it to scoop ice cream. When he touches his car, he sees it years from now, totaled and underwater. When he touches Talia, he sees them at the precipice of breaking up, and that terrifies him. Alex feels these visions are a curse, distracting him, making him anxious and unable to live an ordinary life.
And when Alex touches a photo that gives him a vision of his brother’s imminent death, everything changes.
With Alex now in a race against time, death, and circumstances, he and Isaiah must grapple with their past, their future, and what it means to be a young Black man in America in the present.
Dear Martin meets They Both Die at the End in this gripping, evocative novel about a Black teen who has the power to see into the future, whose life turns upside down when he foresees his younger brother’s imminent death, from the acclaimed author of SLAY .
Sixteen-year-old Alex Rufus is trying his best. He tries to be the best employee he can be at the local ice cream shop; the best boyfriend he can be to his amazing girlfriend, Talia; the best protector he can be over his little brother, Isaiah. But as much as Alex tries, he often comes up short.
It’s hard to for him to be present when every time he touches an object or person, Alex sees into its future. When he touches a scoop, he has a vision of him using it to scoop ice cream. When he touches his car, he sees it years from now, totaled and underwater. When he touches Talia, he sees them at the precipice of breaking up, and that terrifies him. Alex feels these visions are a curse, distracting him, making him anxious and unable to live an ordinary life.
And when Alex touches a photo that gives him a vision of his brother’s imminent death, everything changes.
With Alex now in a race against time, death, and circumstances, he and Isaiah must grapple with their past, their future, and what it means to be a young Black man in America in the present.
352 pages, Paperback
First published April 6, 2021
187 people are currently reading
14184 people want to read
About the author
Brittney Morris
17 books1,185 followersBrittney Morris is the author of SLAY, THE COST OF KNOWING,MARVEL'S SPIDER-MAN: MILES MORALES - WINGS OF FURY, THE JUMP, and THIS BOOK MIGHT BE ABOUT ZINNIA. She holds an economics degree from Boston University and has written for video games including The Lost Legends of Redwall, and Subnautica: Below Zero. She spends her spare time reading, playing video games, and enjoying the rain from her home in Philadelphia. She lives with her son Atlas. Brittney is the founder and former president of the Boston University Creative Writing Club and looks forward to NaNoWriMo every year.
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April 12, 2020
My love letter to all the Black men who had to grow up too early.
April 5, 2021
i have mixed feelings, but one thing's for sure—the love between alex and isaiah hit me so. hard.
first, though: can we just take a sec to appreciate this stunning cover art by alvin epps????
thank you netgalley and simon & schuster canada for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
the cost of knowing is, above all, brittney morris' love letter to all the Black men who had to grow up too early.
four years ago, alex rufus lost both his parents in a devastating accident. now, he's sixteen and doing his damnedest to keep it all together: working at the local ice cream shop, being a good boyfriend to beautiful talia, and trying his best to protect his younger brother, isaiah, who has retreated wholly into himself.
on top of all this, alex has a secret.
ever since the accident that took his parents, he's been able to see the future—any time his fingers brush a person or object, he has visions of what will happen to that person/object. it's less superpower and far more curse; his abilities mean that alex can never relax. every minute of every day he is on edge, terrified he will see something he shouldn't. his anxiety, bad enough without these supernatural happenings, is overwhelming.
when alex sees a vision of isaiah's death, everything about the last four years comes into sharp focus. events are set into motion that alex can't stop, but he will do everything he can to save his brother—and, somehow, himself, too.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
thematically, this novel is so strong, so poignant. it is a celebration of Black boy joy (especially through isaiah and alex's brotherhood, and their fierce love for rapper shiv skeptic) while recognizing the heart-rending—life-or-death—injustices faced by Black boys and their loved ones.
the execution, however, was a little scattered. alex's powers play a central role in the story, but i wouldn't hinge your expectations solely on the SFF aspect of the cost of knowing.
the worldbuilding isn't particularly fleshed out; as a reader, you'll just have to accept things as they are told to you. when alex and isaiah discover the root of the curse and how to "fix" it, there isn't much lead-up or complexity. this might bother some readers, but for the most part i was fine with it—i was here to read about the love between the brothers, and in that regard, the cost of knowing more than delivered.
another gripe i have has been mentioned by other reviewers: every time alex touches an object, he has to "cancel" the vision that emerges. this is explicitly described *every* time alex touches something or someone, and it bogged down my reading experience, even as it very effectively conveyed the pervasiveness of alex's predicament. such repetition definitely contributed to alex's—and my—mounting anxiety and frustration.
moreover, i wish that alex and talia's relationship had been more equitably represented, with as much love & joy as there was strife & hurt.
i felt that i was often told, by alex, how much he loved talia—but i didn't get to see as much of this effusive aspect of their relationship shown through his actions or the book's events. rather, the book depicts alex and talia going through several rough patches as alex grapples with his powers and his guilt at deceiving talia. it's clear that talia is so important to alex and that they love each other, but for most of the novel their relationship evoked more sadness, hurt, and frustration in me than other emotions.
lastly—the ending of this book gave me whiplash!!!!
the conclusion left me a little dazed. the pacing of the last 15% was so fast, i didn't initially believe it had happened. i didn't realize that a crucial plot point (i.e., ) had just occurred until several pages later—and i had to go back to reread it to make sure it had actually happened.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
i want to end by talking about my absolute favourite part of the cost of knowing: alex & isaiah & their love for each other, especially as it plays out in the shiv skeptic storyline.
shiv skeptic is a rapper beloved by alex, isaiah, and many people around them. he is an immensely talented lyricist and artist, and an emblem of resistance, joy, and pride for Black boys like the rufus brothers. the book's climax takes place at a shiv skeptic concert that alex and isaiah attend—and it was so phenomenally written. the last time i read such visceral writing about music was in kelly loy gilbert's when we were infinite, and brittney morris captures that same euphoria, that sense of music being bigger than me or any other individual.
never is alex's love for isaiah clearer than when they are bonded through shiv skeptic's music.
BOTTOM LINE: i can't wait to read Slay and anything else brittney morris writes. the cost of knowing wasn't perfect, but its themes of love and loss, Black boy joy and hurt, are undeniably important and impactful.
first, though: can we just take a sec to appreciate this stunning cover art by alvin epps????
thank you netgalley and simon & schuster canada for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
the cost of knowing is, above all, brittney morris' love letter to all the Black men who had to grow up too early.
four years ago, alex rufus lost both his parents in a devastating accident. now, he's sixteen and doing his damnedest to keep it all together: working at the local ice cream shop, being a good boyfriend to beautiful talia, and trying his best to protect his younger brother, isaiah, who has retreated wholly into himself.
on top of all this, alex has a secret.
ever since the accident that took his parents, he's been able to see the future—any time his fingers brush a person or object, he has visions of what will happen to that person/object. it's less superpower and far more curse; his abilities mean that alex can never relax. every minute of every day he is on edge, terrified he will see something he shouldn't. his anxiety, bad enough without these supernatural happenings, is overwhelming.
when alex sees a vision of isaiah's death, everything about the last four years comes into sharp focus. events are set into motion that alex can't stop, but he will do everything he can to save his brother—and, somehow, himself, too.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
thematically, this novel is so strong, so poignant. it is a celebration of Black boy joy (especially through isaiah and alex's brotherhood, and their fierce love for rapper shiv skeptic) while recognizing the heart-rending—life-or-death—injustices faced by Black boys and their loved ones.
the execution, however, was a little scattered. alex's powers play a central role in the story, but i wouldn't hinge your expectations solely on the SFF aspect of the cost of knowing.
the worldbuilding isn't particularly fleshed out; as a reader, you'll just have to accept things as they are told to you. when alex and isaiah discover the root of the curse and how to "fix" it, there isn't much lead-up or complexity. this might bother some readers, but for the most part i was fine with it—i was here to read about the love between the brothers, and in that regard, the cost of knowing more than delivered.
another gripe i have has been mentioned by other reviewers: every time alex touches an object, he has to "cancel" the vision that emerges. this is explicitly described *every* time alex touches something or someone, and it bogged down my reading experience, even as it very effectively conveyed the pervasiveness of alex's predicament. such repetition definitely contributed to alex's—and my—mounting anxiety and frustration.
moreover, i wish that alex and talia's relationship had been more equitably represented, with as much love & joy as there was strife & hurt.
i felt that i was often told, by alex, how much he loved talia—but i didn't get to see as much of this effusive aspect of their relationship shown through his actions or the book's events. rather, the book depicts alex and talia going through several rough patches as alex grapples with his powers and his guilt at deceiving talia. it's clear that talia is so important to alex and that they love each other, but for most of the novel their relationship evoked more sadness, hurt, and frustration in me than other emotions.
lastly—the ending of this book gave me whiplash!!!!
the conclusion left me a little dazed. the pacing of the last 15% was so fast, i didn't initially believe it had happened. i didn't realize that a crucial plot point (i.e., ) had just occurred until several pages later—and i had to go back to reread it to make sure it had actually happened.
◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️◻️
i want to end by talking about my absolute favourite part of the cost of knowing: alex & isaiah & their love for each other, especially as it plays out in the shiv skeptic storyline.
shiv skeptic is a rapper beloved by alex, isaiah, and many people around them. he is an immensely talented lyricist and artist, and an emblem of resistance, joy, and pride for Black boys like the rufus brothers. the book's climax takes place at a shiv skeptic concert that alex and isaiah attend—and it was so phenomenally written. the last time i read such visceral writing about music was in kelly loy gilbert's when we were infinite, and brittney morris captures that same euphoria, that sense of music being bigger than me or any other individual.
never is alex's love for isaiah clearer than when they are bonded through shiv skeptic's music.
BOTTOM LINE: i can't wait to read Slay and anything else brittney morris writes. the cost of knowing wasn't perfect, but its themes of love and loss, Black boy joy and hurt, are undeniably important and impactful.
December 10, 2020
“To all the Black boys who had to grow up too early.”
The dedication above encapsulates this story perfectly. It’s a love letter and a wake up call bundled together in a package both heartbreaking and beautiful.
~★~ What is this book about? ~★~
The Cost of Knowing follows Alex, a teenage boy who lost his parents in an accident years ago. He now lives with his aunt and little brother Isaiah, who are some of the few pieces of happiness left in his life. Alex has the strange ability to see the future with touch, and his world is turned upside down by a vision of his brother Isaiah in a casket sometime within the next week. Alex knows his visions can’t be prevented, but now is the time when he has to change that. Losing his little brother isn’t an option.
~★~
For what it set out to accomplish, this story was fantastic. It broke my heart and mended it time and time again, to the point were I started questioning everything. It’s been a while since a story took my breath away like The Cost of Knowing has. Brittney Morris does an impeccable job bringing anxiety and grief to life through Alex while also weaving a really unique story I couldn’t stop reading.
Morris is clearly a talented author, making me feel a sincere attachment to both Alex and Isaiah from the start. It was hard not to connect with Alex especially; as the protagonist, his stream of consciousness was delivered so convincingly that I felt a deep connection to his character despite not being able to personally relate to him.
This was a really, really great book. I can’t wait for its publication so others can experience what I just have. A brilliant story, and one that I’m so glad to have read!
Thank you to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for the arc!
The dedication above encapsulates this story perfectly. It’s a love letter and a wake up call bundled together in a package both heartbreaking and beautiful.
~★~ What is this book about? ~★~
The Cost of Knowing follows Alex, a teenage boy who lost his parents in an accident years ago. He now lives with his aunt and little brother Isaiah, who are some of the few pieces of happiness left in his life. Alex has the strange ability to see the future with touch, and his world is turned upside down by a vision of his brother Isaiah in a casket sometime within the next week. Alex knows his visions can’t be prevented, but now is the time when he has to change that. Losing his little brother isn’t an option.
~★~
For what it set out to accomplish, this story was fantastic. It broke my heart and mended it time and time again, to the point were I started questioning everything. It’s been a while since a story took my breath away like The Cost of Knowing has. Brittney Morris does an impeccable job bringing anxiety and grief to life through Alex while also weaving a really unique story I couldn’t stop reading.
Morris is clearly a talented author, making me feel a sincere attachment to both Alex and Isaiah from the start. It was hard not to connect with Alex especially; as the protagonist, his stream of consciousness was delivered so convincingly that I felt a deep connection to his character despite not being able to personally relate to him.
This was a really, really great book. I can’t wait for its publication so others can experience what I just have. A brilliant story, and one that I’m so glad to have read!
Thank you to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for the arc!
March 21, 2021
TW for death of a loved one, racism, and anxiety
This one is definitely a lot to read and so hard to rate. Ever since his parents died, Alex has been able to see the immediate future of anything he touches. He's learned to live with it, but it's affecting his relationships with his girlfriend and his brother, especially when he has visions off is girlfriend angry with him and his brother dying. Every single vision of his comes true, so Alex must race to spend time with his brother and protect him from a world and a future that may be impossible to avoid.
What was so hard about reading this book is that Alex is extremely anxious that his brother, Isaiah, it going to die at any second. It is A LOT to feel that sort of anxiety for a 300+ page book. And it continuously happened. Alex would lose sight of Isaiah for a second and he was convinced he was going to die then. I get that was the point of this book, but it was a lot to handle for the entirety of the book. I really loved, though, how close Alex and Isaiah grew throughout this book and how Alex was pushed out of his comfort zone and forced to face his fears. This was such a unique book with the special powers aspect and I even started tearing up at the end because of how emotional and emotionally exhausting this book was. I definitely recommend picking this book up if you can.
This one is definitely a lot to read and so hard to rate. Ever since his parents died, Alex has been able to see the immediate future of anything he touches. He's learned to live with it, but it's affecting his relationships with his girlfriend and his brother, especially when he has visions off is girlfriend angry with him and his brother dying. Every single vision of his comes true, so Alex must race to spend time with his brother and protect him from a world and a future that may be impossible to avoid.
What was so hard about reading this book is that Alex is extremely anxious that his brother, Isaiah, it going to die at any second. It is A LOT to feel that sort of anxiety for a 300+ page book. And it continuously happened. Alex would lose sight of Isaiah for a second and he was convinced he was going to die then. I get that was the point of this book, but it was a lot to handle for the entirety of the book. I really loved, though, how close Alex and Isaiah grew throughout this book and how Alex was pushed out of his comfort zone and forced to face his fears. This was such a unique book with the special powers aspect and I even started tearing up at the end because of how emotional and emotionally exhausting this book was. I definitely recommend picking this book up if you can.
July 24, 2021
Brittney Morris is determined to screw up my soul and my heart. I knew that this was going to be sad, but I don't think I realized how sad this was truly going to be. 4.5 Stars
In the beginning of The Cost of Knowing, Brittney Morris identifies this book as a love letter to Black boys. Some people will feel like this isn't a love letter and that it focuses too much on the trauma of Black boys and men. However, when I thought about this more I feel like this love letter is meant to say "we see you, we feel you, and we recognize how much you go through." It's a letter that let's them know they aren't alone. I've been telling people that this book won't be for everyone. The nature of the book itself is intense and I feel like those with anxiety may struggle with the anxiety representation because it literally makes the reader feel heavy. I don't struggle with anxiety and there were aspects of this book that made it very difficult to read. Nevertheless, this illustrates the ability of Morris to capture the feelings that a lot of Black boys and men experience.
The book itself focuses on Alex who has the ability to see into the future. If any object crosses into his hands, Alex can see the future of that object. It makes his daily life extremely difficult to navigate and it gets even more intense when he sees a vision of his brothers death. Alex is then determined to stop it from happening. The level of anxiety that he feels in trying to stop it is what will probably make this a difficult read for a lot of people. Alex constantly worries and stresses over the ways in which his brother could possibly die and the strategies that he has to use to stop it from happening. This is probably where it's most important to see the allegory. The stress and anxiety that Alex feels in relation to his brothers life is the same feelings that a lot of Black men and boys carry. It's stifling to have to live your life day to day fearing that you or your loved ones could die at any point. It's hard to enjoy anything.
The Cost of Knowing also does some interesting thing in terms of exploring the Black family unit and the generational trauma that we often experience. The fears that our ancestors had are not that different from the fears that we have now. Because of the trauma that we face, we often condition and teach our children to have the same fears in order to attempt to protect their lives. This is clearly illustrated through the relationship that Alex and Isaiah have with their own family. Morris doesn't shy away from showing how this continues to and will continue to impact the Black community.
I wouldn't say that there is a specific pacing to this novel. It doesn't feel exclusively fast or slow. It feels like it could be a little bit of both depending on the specific part of the book. The ending definitely had my heart racing and shattered me to pieces. Overall, I just think that this book is brilliantly written. To be able to craft so much emotion into a book really shows the skills that Morris has. I didn't expect the varying emotions that I felt from anger to painful sorrow. This book weighed on me and it is one that will stick with me for a long time.
In the beginning of The Cost of Knowing, Brittney Morris identifies this book as a love letter to Black boys. Some people will feel like this isn't a love letter and that it focuses too much on the trauma of Black boys and men. However, when I thought about this more I feel like this love letter is meant to say "we see you, we feel you, and we recognize how much you go through." It's a letter that let's them know they aren't alone. I've been telling people that this book won't be for everyone. The nature of the book itself is intense and I feel like those with anxiety may struggle with the anxiety representation because it literally makes the reader feel heavy. I don't struggle with anxiety and there were aspects of this book that made it very difficult to read. Nevertheless, this illustrates the ability of Morris to capture the feelings that a lot of Black boys and men experience.
The book itself focuses on Alex who has the ability to see into the future. If any object crosses into his hands, Alex can see the future of that object. It makes his daily life extremely difficult to navigate and it gets even more intense when he sees a vision of his brothers death. Alex is then determined to stop it from happening. The level of anxiety that he feels in trying to stop it is what will probably make this a difficult read for a lot of people. Alex constantly worries and stresses over the ways in which his brother could possibly die and the strategies that he has to use to stop it from happening. This is probably where it's most important to see the allegory. The stress and anxiety that Alex feels in relation to his brothers life is the same feelings that a lot of Black men and boys carry. It's stifling to have to live your life day to day fearing that you or your loved ones could die at any point. It's hard to enjoy anything.
The Cost of Knowing also does some interesting thing in terms of exploring the Black family unit and the generational trauma that we often experience. The fears that our ancestors had are not that different from the fears that we have now. Because of the trauma that we face, we often condition and teach our children to have the same fears in order to attempt to protect their lives. This is clearly illustrated through the relationship that Alex and Isaiah have with their own family. Morris doesn't shy away from showing how this continues to and will continue to impact the Black community.
I wouldn't say that there is a specific pacing to this novel. It doesn't feel exclusively fast or slow. It feels like it could be a little bit of both depending on the specific part of the book. The ending definitely had my heart racing and shattered me to pieces. Overall, I just think that this book is brilliantly written. To be able to craft so much emotion into a book really shows the skills that Morris has. I didn't expect the varying emotions that I felt from anger to painful sorrow. This book weighed on me and it is one that will stick with me for a long time.
March 9, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing a copy of the ebook in exchange for an honest review.
★★★
Whoever makes the rules controls the narrative.
Brittney Morris is incredibly talented; there’s no denying that. There are a lot of wonderful things going on in this novel — finding joy in the face of trauma, ruminating on what is inherited from our ancestors, and forgiving our past choices. For those bits alone, this is a special story. Make no mistake — it is remarkably sad, but it is also hopeful.
Alex and Isaiah are such vivid characters who hop straight off the page. Even Talia, Alex’s girlfriend, is a delight. I’ll be thinking about them for a long while. More than that, I’ll be thinking about the men they’ve come from — all those stories and heartbreaks, from tribal ancestry to the twenty-first century, written so beautifully. Of everything in this novel, the discussion about Alex and Isaiah’s powers in relation to their ancestors’ choices was most fascinating. I wish we had gotten more of it, because there was clearly so much to mine there.
Unfortunately, there were some large issues here, for my particular sensibilities.
What stands out most prominently is that the novel relies on repetition in some respects, which I wasn’t a fan of. I understand and respect that the portrayal of Alex’s anxiety is likely accurate, but his spirals are exhausting to get through. There are many, many moments of panic over the many ways Isaiah can die, from the mundane to the extreme. There are many, many moments when Alex’s inner monologue repeats how important these last days with Isaiah are. It’s a lot, more than noticeable.
Repetition also features prominently with regards to Alex’s powers. Alex sees the future of absolutely everything and everyone he touches with his palms, from the most useless of inanimate objects to human beings. Every time he touches something meaningless, the narrative mentions he has, mentions that he “cancels” the vision that starts, and on and on and on. So, for example, when Alex is working through a shift at the ice cream shop, you’re reading about him grabbing his apron, vision, grabbing the ice cream scoop, vision, and on and on. Eventually, it started to get to me. This, too, takes up so much of the novel.
Finally, the last act is really rushed in this one. Yes, the synopsis and the entire story are clear about what is coming. But when it does come, it really doesn’t feel like all of the emotions and complications at the center of it are covered. There’s too much to accomplish in too few pages — with regards to Alex’s relationships with both Isaiah and Shaun — and so the emotional climax of the book really suffers. That being said, there is a really beautiful scene concerning ancestral connection at this point that is my favorite in the entire novel. So, not all bad.
Like I said, despite my problems, there is a whole lot of good here. I can’t wait to pick up Morris’ debut, SLAY, and will keep an eye out for anything else she publishes in the future. She’s a talent with some really riveting ideas.
★★★
Whoever makes the rules controls the narrative.
Brittney Morris is incredibly talented; there’s no denying that. There are a lot of wonderful things going on in this novel — finding joy in the face of trauma, ruminating on what is inherited from our ancestors, and forgiving our past choices. For those bits alone, this is a special story. Make no mistake — it is remarkably sad, but it is also hopeful.
Alex and Isaiah are such vivid characters who hop straight off the page. Even Talia, Alex’s girlfriend, is a delight. I’ll be thinking about them for a long while. More than that, I’ll be thinking about the men they’ve come from — all those stories and heartbreaks, from tribal ancestry to the twenty-first century, written so beautifully. Of everything in this novel, the discussion about Alex and Isaiah’s powers in relation to their ancestors’ choices was most fascinating. I wish we had gotten more of it, because there was clearly so much to mine there.
Unfortunately, there were some large issues here, for my particular sensibilities.
What stands out most prominently is that the novel relies on repetition in some respects, which I wasn’t a fan of. I understand and respect that the portrayal of Alex’s anxiety is likely accurate, but his spirals are exhausting to get through. There are many, many moments of panic over the many ways Isaiah can die, from the mundane to the extreme. There are many, many moments when Alex’s inner monologue repeats how important these last days with Isaiah are. It’s a lot, more than noticeable.
Repetition also features prominently with regards to Alex’s powers. Alex sees the future of absolutely everything and everyone he touches with his palms, from the most useless of inanimate objects to human beings. Every time he touches something meaningless, the narrative mentions he has, mentions that he “cancels” the vision that starts, and on and on and on. So, for example, when Alex is working through a shift at the ice cream shop, you’re reading about him grabbing his apron, vision, grabbing the ice cream scoop, vision, and on and on. Eventually, it started to get to me. This, too, takes up so much of the novel.
Finally, the last act is really rushed in this one. Yes, the synopsis and the entire story are clear about what is coming. But when it does come, it really doesn’t feel like all of the emotions and complications at the center of it are covered. There’s too much to accomplish in too few pages — with regards to Alex’s relationships with both Isaiah and Shaun — and so the emotional climax of the book really suffers. That being said, there is a really beautiful scene concerning ancestral connection at this point that is my favorite in the entire novel. So, not all bad.
Like I said, despite my problems, there is a whole lot of good here. I can’t wait to pick up Morris’ debut, SLAY, and will keep an eye out for anything else she publishes in the future. She’s a talent with some really riveting ideas.
Want to read
August 17, 2020this cover makes me remember how much i love men.
July 6, 2021
~Thank you NetGalley and Simon and Schuster Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!~
Joy in the face of oppression is its own kind of bravery.
My Rating: 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This was my first ARC review with Netgalley and it was amazing!
First Impressions\Overall Thoughts: This book drew me in from the start. I absolutely loved how it had fantasy elements while also being centered around real-life issues such as racism, the danger of stereotypes, anxiety, and grief. Brittny Morris did a great job of weaving all the elements together in a way that left me wanting more and “flipping” pages as quickly as humanly possible.
Characters: Alex’s character with his anxiety and regrets and also his love for those around him was written perfectly. From page one, I wanted to know what was going to happen to him. I have to admit though that Isaiah was my favorite character. He was just so thoughtful and funny and so twelve-year-old boyish that I wanted him to stay like that forever. I was rooting for him and hoping with everything in me that Alex would be able to protect him.
Emotions: Alex’s relationship with his brother Isaiah was so so beautiful that it left me wanting to cry even when they weren’t talking about something sad. I loved reading about how they started off barely talking to each other but slowly opened up and began to share their feelings and experiences with each other.
The anxiety and grief that the characters were feeling were portrayed so well that it felt as real as if I were really them. But the nice scenes with them together were just as breathtaking.
This book gave a fresh take on an important issue and I’m looking forward to its official release into the world!
✨ You can find this review and others on my blog!✨
Joy in the face of oppression is its own kind of bravery.
My Rating: 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This was my first ARC review with Netgalley and it was amazing!
First Impressions\Overall Thoughts: This book drew me in from the start. I absolutely loved how it had fantasy elements while also being centered around real-life issues such as racism, the danger of stereotypes, anxiety, and grief. Brittny Morris did a great job of weaving all the elements together in a way that left me wanting more and “flipping” pages as quickly as humanly possible.
Characters: Alex’s character with his anxiety and regrets and also his love for those around him was written perfectly. From page one, I wanted to know what was going to happen to him. I have to admit though that Isaiah was my favorite character. He was just so thoughtful and funny and so twelve-year-old boyish that I wanted him to stay like that forever. I was rooting for him and hoping with everything in me that Alex would be able to protect him.
Emotions: Alex’s relationship with his brother Isaiah was so so beautiful that it left me wanting to cry even when they weren’t talking about something sad. I loved reading about how they started off barely talking to each other but slowly opened up and began to share their feelings and experiences with each other.
The anxiety and grief that the characters were feeling were portrayed so well that it felt as real as if I were really them. But the nice scenes with them together were just as breathtaking.
This book gave a fresh take on an important issue and I’m looking forward to its official release into the world!
✨ You can find this review and others on my blog!✨
April 30, 2021
It’s okay to be afraid of the future. It’s okay to be anxious. Men get anxious. Men are afraid sometimes.
The Cost of Knowing is an incredibly powerful story. It’s about toxic masculinity. It’s about brotherhood. It’s about love. But above all, it’s about a Black boy who is never carefree.
Imagine: being Black and male. Always being afraid. Being worried all the time. Being anxious.
Imagine: touching someone and then envisioning what will happen. A break-up, someone in trouble, someone dying.
Imagine: losing your parents, then losing your best friend, and then envisioning the burial of your brother.
I loved how Brittney Morris used the visions that Alex had and what those visions did to him to tell the message of this book. The constant worrying, the anxiety.
I loved Alex. I loved the bond between Alex and Isaiah, both coping in different ways after the death of their parents. I loved how the boys grew to each other after Alex got a vision that Isaiah would die. I loved that Isaiah also took care of his older brother:
It’s okay if you’re not okay. But ... you should probably tell someone you’re not. And, I guess, since we’re brothers ... you could tell me?
I got a lump in my throat and eventually cried when Alex said that white women are just as scary to him as the police. I feel ashamed that Black boys have to feel like this. And I understand why they do. I’ll probably never really know what they feel because I’ll never get to experience what they go through, only because they’re Black and I am white.
When I started reading this story, I expected it to be a 4 star read. But when you root for these boys so much, and feel ashamed yourself, it’s impossible to give less than 5 stars. Right?
The Cost of Knowing is an incredibly powerful story. It’s about toxic masculinity. It’s about brotherhood. It’s about love. But above all, it’s about a Black boy who is never carefree.
Imagine: being Black and male. Always being afraid. Being worried all the time. Being anxious.
Imagine: touching someone and then envisioning what will happen. A break-up, someone in trouble, someone dying.
Imagine: losing your parents, then losing your best friend, and then envisioning the burial of your brother.
I loved how Brittney Morris used the visions that Alex had and what those visions did to him to tell the message of this book. The constant worrying, the anxiety.
I loved Alex. I loved the bond between Alex and Isaiah, both coping in different ways after the death of their parents. I loved how the boys grew to each other after Alex got a vision that Isaiah would die. I loved that Isaiah also took care of his older brother:
It’s okay if you’re not okay. But ... you should probably tell someone you’re not. And, I guess, since we’re brothers ... you could tell me?
I got a lump in my throat and eventually cried when Alex said that white women are just as scary to him as the police. I feel ashamed that Black boys have to feel like this. And I understand why they do. I’ll probably never really know what they feel because I’ll never get to experience what they go through, only because they’re Black and I am white.
When I started reading this story, I expected it to be a 4 star read. But when you root for these boys so much, and feel ashamed yourself, it’s impossible to give less than 5 stars. Right?
May 16, 2021
The cost of knowing is about a brother who can see into the future simply by touching something. So when he sees a glimpse of his brother dying he decides there is things In his life that need to change.
I felt this was well written. I loved the sibling love and also the different topics it covered. I gave this an A-
I felt this was well written. I loved the sibling love and also the different topics it covered. I gave this an A-
March 27, 2021
The Cost of Knowing is a gripping YA story that explores brotherhood, prejudice, and resilience from the author of SLAY.
The Cost of Knowing follows sixteen-year-old Alex Rufus and his brother, Isaiah. Years ago, their parents were killed in a car accident, leaving Alex and Isaiah to be raised by their aunt in Chicago. After traumatic loss, Alex finds he has the ability to see the future through touch, and after picking up an old family photo, he has a vision that tells him Isaiah might die. Now Alex has to prevent the unpreventable, in a biased world that already sees him as a danger.
SLAY was a favourite for me, not just because of its sci-fi aspect, but because it’s a thought-provoking and relatable read. I love the way the author weaves themes to create such an impactful story. The Cost of Knowing portrays the effects of trauma over time, but is laced with a fantasy element that creates and engaging storyline. It carries weight and emotion as it dives into the Black experience in America, the injustices of today’s society, and familial bonds.
Additionally, this unique story has a vivid array of personalities that bring a hopeful and joyful tone to the book, which balance out really well with the more intense and traumatic scenes. I love the complexity of Alex’s character in particular, especially when it comes to showing vulnerability and grappling with the idea of what it means to be a man. Morris also paints an inarguably accurate picture through the protagonist’s anxiety, as for him, seeing the future is a curse rather than a superpower.
With a collection of hard truths, Brittney Morris has created yet another influential, expressive, heart-stirring novel. Her words are undeniably impactful in this timely and poignant tale.
The Cost of Knowing follows sixteen-year-old Alex Rufus and his brother, Isaiah. Years ago, their parents were killed in a car accident, leaving Alex and Isaiah to be raised by their aunt in Chicago. After traumatic loss, Alex finds he has the ability to see the future through touch, and after picking up an old family photo, he has a vision that tells him Isaiah might die. Now Alex has to prevent the unpreventable, in a biased world that already sees him as a danger.
SLAY was a favourite for me, not just because of its sci-fi aspect, but because it’s a thought-provoking and relatable read. I love the way the author weaves themes to create such an impactful story. The Cost of Knowing portrays the effects of trauma over time, but is laced with a fantasy element that creates and engaging storyline. It carries weight and emotion as it dives into the Black experience in America, the injustices of today’s society, and familial bonds.
Additionally, this unique story has a vivid array of personalities that bring a hopeful and joyful tone to the book, which balance out really well with the more intense and traumatic scenes. I love the complexity of Alex’s character in particular, especially when it comes to showing vulnerability and grappling with the idea of what it means to be a man. Morris also paints an inarguably accurate picture through the protagonist’s anxiety, as for him, seeing the future is a curse rather than a superpower.
With a collection of hard truths, Brittney Morris has created yet another influential, expressive, heart-stirring novel. Her words are undeniably impactful in this timely and poignant tale.
May 6, 2021
When I first saw The Cost of Knowing the cover blew me away! Gorgeous rendition by illustrator Alvin Epps showing two beautiful young black men.
Alex and Isaiah are brothers. They have lost their parents in a car accident. Life obviously has not been the same since their parents death. Each has found their own coping strategies. I loved how Morris developed the relationship between the two brothers. Their closeness, Alex's protectiveness and how he chooses to spend time with Isaiah were a beautiful show of brotherly love.
Both brothers have the gift (or curse) of sight. Alex can see into the future. When he touches an object he can see its fate or the fate of a person connected to that object. He learns that not all futures are rosy and bright and starts to fear these visions. He does everything in his power to prevent any accidental contact with objects after he becomes aware that he is powerless to change the future.
Another great aspect of the book is how Morris deals with "blood memory" and the impact that trauma has throughout the generations. She dedicates the book to all the black men who had to become adults before their time. The real curse for Black boys she says is that they are forced to pay this "cost of knowing" that everyone else has already outlined and dictated their futures for them . . . and usually the picture they have painted is bleak.
Alex and Isaiah are brothers. They have lost their parents in a car accident. Life obviously has not been the same since their parents death. Each has found their own coping strategies. I loved how Morris developed the relationship between the two brothers. Their closeness, Alex's protectiveness and how he chooses to spend time with Isaiah were a beautiful show of brotherly love.
Both brothers have the gift (or curse) of sight. Alex can see into the future. When he touches an object he can see its fate or the fate of a person connected to that object. He learns that not all futures are rosy and bright and starts to fear these visions. He does everything in his power to prevent any accidental contact with objects after he becomes aware that he is powerless to change the future.
Another great aspect of the book is how Morris deals with "blood memory" and the impact that trauma has throughout the generations. She dedicates the book to all the black men who had to become adults before their time. The real curse for Black boys she says is that they are forced to pay this "cost of knowing" that everyone else has already outlined and dictated their futures for them . . . and usually the picture they have painted is bleak.
August 8, 2021
Book 233 of 2021
Whewwww. What can I say 😭😭😭 this one broke my heart. It was an absolutely beautiful book tbh and it was just so good!!!
I went into it blind, so I didn't read the blurb. I loved that for me because I enjoyed watching everything play out without knowing what to expect at all. Halfway through the book, I checked the blurb and saw that it was comp'd to "They Both Die at The End" and my heart just sunk 😂😭
This was a wonderfully written book about family, love, loss, and grief. This book was so so laden with grief, but it was also a warm hug for the most part.
After surviving an accident that killed his parents, Alex gained the power to see the future of a person or object. The length of his vision depends on how long he touches them for. I loved the world building in this aspect because right from the beginning, the author laid out Alex's power (or curse) in a way that left no questions unanswered.
After he touches an old family photograph and inadvertently sees his brother's death in just a couple of days,his world is turned upside down. He tries his best to reconnect with his brother, who has become a recluse since their parents' death. It was so heartwarming to read about all their adventures and see them reconnect.
I love the deep dive into their family history, and this was where I also had a big problem with the book. I feel like the author could have used a better choice of words to describe their African heritage apart from "we were kings" and "an extra from Black Panther". Might just be me tho.
The characters were great and well written, the plot was solid, I enjoyed the twists so much, and the romance was okay.
The author touched on so many topics in this book, and as with her other book SLAY, I love how she wove in racism to heart of the story.
I enjoyed reading this, I broke into tears at the end, and yes I would recommend it to everyone.
Whewwww. What can I say 😭😭😭 this one broke my heart. It was an absolutely beautiful book tbh and it was just so good!!!
I went into it blind, so I didn't read the blurb. I loved that for me because I enjoyed watching everything play out without knowing what to expect at all. Halfway through the book, I checked the blurb and saw that it was comp'd to "They Both Die at The End" and my heart just sunk 😂😭
This was a wonderfully written book about family, love, loss, and grief. This book was so so laden with grief, but it was also a warm hug for the most part.
After surviving an accident that killed his parents, Alex gained the power to see the future of a person or object. The length of his vision depends on how long he touches them for. I loved the world building in this aspect because right from the beginning, the author laid out Alex's power (or curse) in a way that left no questions unanswered.
After he touches an old family photograph and inadvertently sees his brother's death in just a couple of days,his world is turned upside down. He tries his best to reconnect with his brother, who has become a recluse since their parents' death. It was so heartwarming to read about all their adventures and see them reconnect.
I love the deep dive into their family history, and this was where I also had a big problem with the book. I feel like the author could have used a better choice of words to describe their African heritage apart from "we were kings" and "an extra from Black Panther". Might just be me tho.
The characters were great and well written, the plot was solid, I enjoyed the twists so much, and the romance was okay.
The author touched on so many topics in this book, and as with her other book SLAY, I love how she wove in racism to heart of the story.
I enjoyed reading this, I broke into tears at the end, and yes I would recommend it to everyone.
September 27, 2024
Kinda Oedipus Rex-y, without any sex... y.
Alex is keeping a big secret. Since his parents died in a car accident 4 years ago, he's been able to see the future of anything his hands touch. The ability is so overwhelming that he's become reclusive from his Aunt Mackie, his girlfriend Talia, and even his little brother Isaiah. But Isaiah has become distant too. He doesn't have friends anymore, and only talks to Alex when he has to. One day, Alex's vision shows him at Isaiah's funeral. In an instant, his ability goes from overwhelming to an all-consuming curse where every moment is spent worrying and protecting Isaiah from danger.
This book had some good ideas. I loved the brothers - they used to be close, but tragedy and the supernatural have put a wedge between them. The very best part of this is book is their journey, and all the love for each other that's just been waiting. I also liked the ability/curse element, especially the idea that knowing the unknowable, whether it's the future or the past, wasn't meant for us, that we weren't built to hold onto so much unpreventable heartache. I also liked that Morris didn't shy away from the concept that efforts to prevent your fate could be its catalyst.
Unpreventable heartache... that brings me to my biggest detraction. The narrative was very tedious, especially the beginning chapters that took place in the ice cream shop. Brittney Morris goes into so much of the indecision and what-ifs from knowing the future that I honestly almost DNF'd during the first chapter. So annoyingly repetitive.
So! A little rough, but overall an interesting idea.
Alex is keeping a big secret. Since his parents died in a car accident 4 years ago, he's been able to see the future of anything his hands touch. The ability is so overwhelming that he's become reclusive from his Aunt Mackie, his girlfriend Talia, and even his little brother Isaiah. But Isaiah has become distant too. He doesn't have friends anymore, and only talks to Alex when he has to. One day, Alex's vision shows him at Isaiah's funeral. In an instant, his ability goes from overwhelming to an all-consuming curse where every moment is spent worrying and protecting Isaiah from danger.
This book had some good ideas. I loved the brothers - they used to be close, but tragedy and the supernatural have put a wedge between them. The very best part of this is book is their journey, and all the love for each other that's just been waiting. I also liked the ability/curse element, especially the idea that knowing the unknowable, whether it's the future or the past, wasn't meant for us, that we weren't built to hold onto so much unpreventable heartache. I also liked that Morris didn't shy away from the concept that efforts to prevent your fate could be its catalyst.
Unpreventable heartache... that brings me to my biggest detraction. The narrative was very tedious, especially the beginning chapters that took place in the ice cream shop. Brittney Morris goes into so much of the indecision and what-ifs from knowing the future that I honestly almost DNF'd during the first chapter. So annoyingly repetitive.
So! A little rough, but overall an interesting idea.
April 12, 2021
Sometimes a DNF should stay a DNF because dont matter how much you try and push, certain books are just not that good...
Unlike Slay, that I didnt enjoy the first 40% of it, but truly liked the latter part of the book and was truly surprised of how great different topics and social commentary were handled, when it comes to The Cost of Knowing, everything felt all over the place.
The characters didnt have the same charisma and likeness as the other book had and to be completely honest I couldn't care less if one of them died or not.
All I wanted was to the story to pick up and feel situated between the plot and the premise and understand what truly was the purpose of this book.
Unfortunately, for me, this was one of those cases that once again the author wanted to achieve so many things that in the end it became really repetitive and cliche and she ended up achieving almost nothing.
Unlike Slay, that I didnt enjoy the first 40% of it, but truly liked the latter part of the book and was truly surprised of how great different topics and social commentary were handled, when it comes to The Cost of Knowing, everything felt all over the place.
The characters didnt have the same charisma and likeness as the other book had and to be completely honest I couldn't care less if one of them died or not.
All I wanted was to the story to pick up and feel situated between the plot and the premise and understand what truly was the purpose of this book.
Unfortunately, for me, this was one of those cases that once again the author wanted to achieve so many things that in the end it became really repetitive and cliche and she ended up achieving almost nothing.
May 14, 2021
The Cost of Knowing is a gut-wrenching tale of generational trauma, racial profiling, grief, racism, and loss. It's the story of Alex and what it's like for him to be a Black boy in America.
Overwhelmed by anxiety since his parents' death, Alex is just trying to survive each day. Visions of the future come unbidden with every touch of his palm, amplifying his worry. When he sees a vision of his younger brother's imminent death, Alex resolves to spend whatever time he has left bringing Isaiah the joy he deserves.
This story is heartbreaking, all the more so because it echoes the experience of so many young Black people in America. The pain and fear Alex lives with is not an exaggeration or an overreaction, and this novel does not turn away from that injustice.
This book broke me. I haven't sobbed so much while reading in a long time. But it's also so necessary for people like me, a white woman born into a level of privilege and safety I did nothing to earn, to confront. "Well-meaning" white people aren't free from blame. Our whiteness guards us against seeing and understanding the truth of what our ignorance and fear do to those with marginalized bodies. We need to open our eyes. It's long overdue.
Brittney Morris tells Alex's story with compassion, vulnerability, and strength. And it's a story that needs to be heard.
Trigger Warnings: death, murder, gun violence, racial profiling, racism, loss of parents, child death, brief mentions of slavery and rape
Thank you to Netgalley for providing an ARC for review. All opinions are my own.
Overwhelmed by anxiety since his parents' death, Alex is just trying to survive each day. Visions of the future come unbidden with every touch of his palm, amplifying his worry. When he sees a vision of his younger brother's imminent death, Alex resolves to spend whatever time he has left bringing Isaiah the joy he deserves.
This story is heartbreaking, all the more so because it echoes the experience of so many young Black people in America. The pain and fear Alex lives with is not an exaggeration or an overreaction, and this novel does not turn away from that injustice.
This book broke me. I haven't sobbed so much while reading in a long time. But it's also so necessary for people like me, a white woman born into a level of privilege and safety I did nothing to earn, to confront. "Well-meaning" white people aren't free from blame. Our whiteness guards us against seeing and understanding the truth of what our ignorance and fear do to those with marginalized bodies. We need to open our eyes. It's long overdue.
Brittney Morris tells Alex's story with compassion, vulnerability, and strength. And it's a story that needs to be heard.
Trigger Warnings: death, murder, gun violence, racial profiling, racism, loss of parents, child death, brief mentions of slavery and rape
Thank you to Netgalley for providing an ARC for review. All opinions are my own.
May 20, 2021
3.5 stars!
Read
July 20, 2025The story itself deserves 4 but the representation of black people and the things they suffer makes me gives it a 5...
April 20, 2021
4.5 Stars
CWs: anxiety, panic attacks, death/child death/parental death, grief, racism, brief mentions of suicidal ideation and self-harm, allusions to a suicide attempt, police brutality, references to slavery and rape, and mass shooting
Brittney Morris has done it once again. She has written an incredible novel that is very much needed and that offers an outstretched hand to Black youth, especially—one that's all wrapped up in emotion and catharsis. This is a challenging book, and may certainly prove to be a hard one to bear witness to for some readers, but it is unflinching in both its truth and its hope.
This is a hard-hitting contemporary story with a surrealist edge in how its protagonist has the ability to see the future of anyone he touches. While it might seem like knowing the future is an empowering ability, it actually has the opposite effect on Alex and makes him feel powerless under the weight of the future's inevitability, especially when he sees his own brother's death.
To me, this ability was a powerful allegory for how Black youth—and young Black men, specifically—bear the weight of knowing the systemic pain that awaits them in this world. To be a young Black man in America is, in some ways, to accept the possibility of your own death and the death of those you love before it even happens—and what is that if not "predicting the future" based on what's been proven in the past?
So not only is this story an exploration of that grave injustice, but it's also about Alex reconnecting with his brother and his loved ones, realizing that he can either succumb to the despair of knowing that his brother won't survive, or he can try and find moments of joy in the time they have left together. In some ways, it's also about how joy in the face of oppression is a radical act, and a way of reclaiming agency over the right we all have to live and love—a right that is often forcibly taken away from Black youth at too young an age.
The story also challenges concepts of toxic masculinity, especially in how it explores power and powerlessness. When you're not able to control an outcome, where do you draw power from? Does it make us stronger to look away from something we know we're going to lose or to confront the fear that accompanies that loss? Over the course of the story, Alex is learning that there is no power in detaching, disassociating, or even wanting to lash out at the world. Instead the harder work is confronting his own sadness about his situation, learning how to be unafraid in the way he loves and needs the people around him, and extracting moments of connection and joy from the pain and loss. Alex is realizing that it's okay to be afraid of the future, to be anxious, to be hurt and sad, and that doesn't mean he's failed or that he's not a man—it means he's human.
This is a powerful story about resilience, joy, and brotherhood in the face of extreme pain and loss. As Brittney Morris writes in her acknowledgements, this is very much a "Black-boy-joy despite" book, for all the Black men who are trying to be joyful and unafraid despite the world proving itself to be inhospitable to their joys and hopes. Their lives, their experiences, and their feelings matter, and this is a book that beautifully, brilliantly, and painfully makes space for those complicated feelings to exist. I can say with every confidence that this is definitely a must-read book, right alongside Brittney's stunning debut, Slay.
CWs: anxiety, panic attacks, death/child death/parental death, grief, racism, brief mentions of suicidal ideation and self-harm, allusions to a suicide attempt, police brutality, references to slavery and rape, and mass shooting
Brittney Morris has done it once again. She has written an incredible novel that is very much needed and that offers an outstretched hand to Black youth, especially—one that's all wrapped up in emotion and catharsis. This is a challenging book, and may certainly prove to be a hard one to bear witness to for some readers, but it is unflinching in both its truth and its hope.
This is a hard-hitting contemporary story with a surrealist edge in how its protagonist has the ability to see the future of anyone he touches. While it might seem like knowing the future is an empowering ability, it actually has the opposite effect on Alex and makes him feel powerless under the weight of the future's inevitability, especially when he sees his own brother's death.
To me, this ability was a powerful allegory for how Black youth—and young Black men, specifically—bear the weight of knowing the systemic pain that awaits them in this world. To be a young Black man in America is, in some ways, to accept the possibility of your own death and the death of those you love before it even happens—and what is that if not "predicting the future" based on what's been proven in the past?
So not only is this story an exploration of that grave injustice, but it's also about Alex reconnecting with his brother and his loved ones, realizing that he can either succumb to the despair of knowing that his brother won't survive, or he can try and find moments of joy in the time they have left together. In some ways, it's also about how joy in the face of oppression is a radical act, and a way of reclaiming agency over the right we all have to live and love—a right that is often forcibly taken away from Black youth at too young an age.
The story also challenges concepts of toxic masculinity, especially in how it explores power and powerlessness. When you're not able to control an outcome, where do you draw power from? Does it make us stronger to look away from something we know we're going to lose or to confront the fear that accompanies that loss? Over the course of the story, Alex is learning that there is no power in detaching, disassociating, or even wanting to lash out at the world. Instead the harder work is confronting his own sadness about his situation, learning how to be unafraid in the way he loves and needs the people around him, and extracting moments of connection and joy from the pain and loss. Alex is realizing that it's okay to be afraid of the future, to be anxious, to be hurt and sad, and that doesn't mean he's failed or that he's not a man—it means he's human.
This is a powerful story about resilience, joy, and brotherhood in the face of extreme pain and loss. As Brittney Morris writes in her acknowledgements, this is very much a "Black-boy-joy despite" book, for all the Black men who are trying to be joyful and unafraid despite the world proving itself to be inhospitable to their joys and hopes. Their lives, their experiences, and their feelings matter, and this is a book that beautifully, brilliantly, and painfully makes space for those complicated feelings to exist. I can say with every confidence that this is definitely a must-read book, right alongside Brittney's stunning debut, Slay.
April 8, 2021
I received the arc of The Cost of Knowing at no cost from NetGalley and Simon and Schuster. It was my choice to read and review.
I was hooked. I could not pause it. I loved the urban fantasy setting and the fact that the magic system is somewhat explained yet not all the way. Because it's not the focal point. The focal point is Alex and his brother, Isaiah, and their relationship after shared trauma in their past.
The pacing was great, it wasn't too fast or too slow and I got just enough answers at the proper times which made it flow really well. I was so proud of Alex for pushing past some of his anxieties and grief to be more present. Not saying that the anxiety and grief went away but that he found something that made it important for him to act in spite of it.
It's important to read own voices, diverse books like this so we can open our eyes to the experiences of others and think differently about our own tendencies, reactions, and thoughts. I had the pleasure of doing an author interview with Brittney Morris on my Bookstagram (@ram_reads) and she said "I try to get my readers to see the world in a new way with each book I write."
She definitely accomplished that and I would recommend The Cost of Knowing to anyone who is trying to read more own voices, diverse books and doesn't know where to start because it's a blend of contemporary with a sprinkle of fantasy/magic and it covers meaningful themes with realistic character portrayals.
I was hooked. I could not pause it. I loved the urban fantasy setting and the fact that the magic system is somewhat explained yet not all the way. Because it's not the focal point. The focal point is Alex and his brother, Isaiah, and their relationship after shared trauma in their past.
The pacing was great, it wasn't too fast or too slow and I got just enough answers at the proper times which made it flow really well. I was so proud of Alex for pushing past some of his anxieties and grief to be more present. Not saying that the anxiety and grief went away but that he found something that made it important for him to act in spite of it.
It's important to read own voices, diverse books like this so we can open our eyes to the experiences of others and think differently about our own tendencies, reactions, and thoughts. I had the pleasure of doing an author interview with Brittney Morris on my Bookstagram (@ram_reads) and she said "I try to get my readers to see the world in a new way with each book I write."
She definitely accomplished that and I would recommend The Cost of Knowing to anyone who is trying to read more own voices, diverse books and doesn't know where to start because it's a blend of contemporary with a sprinkle of fantasy/magic and it covers meaningful themes with realistic character portrayals.
August 29, 2021
Tragic, gripping, emotional and brilliantly written, Morris once again showcases her incredible talent for creating characters and narratives that hook onto your heart and don't let go, in this poignant story of brotherhood, male mental health, resilience and prejudice.
TW: racism, prejudice, gun violence, anxiety
TW: racism, prejudice, gun violence, anxiety
August 17, 2023
⛈️🏙️🩸T̤̊h̤̊e̤̊ C̤̊o̤̊s̤̊t̤̊ o̤̊f̤̊ K̤̊n̤̊o̤̊ẘ̤i̤̊n̤̊g̤̊🩸🏙️⛈️
3.25 Stars
Alex is filled with anxiety when his newest vision shows him the death of his younger brother, Isaiah. Ever since his parents deaths, he has been able to see a vision of the future whenever he touches an object or person. Alex is filled with guilt, knowing that he will be unable to stop a person's death from happening. He has a chance to make up for all the memories he and his younger brother never got to make. As he discovers things about Isaiah he never knew about, the two are brought closer together, which only fills Alex with more pain for their final goodbye. As his fear of his ability causes miscommunication between him and his beloved girlfriend Talia, he struggles to control his life when it is filled with the uncontrollable. Brittney Morris writes an emotional novel about relationships, grief, and fear—a love letter to all the Black boys who had to grow up too quickly.
The Cost of Knowing is a story of joy and love that is shadowed by an impending sense of the inevitable. Alex is filled with anxiety constantly, always stressing out about the future and the many factors of his life. I found the aspect of his power to be very interesting, and appreciated that there were rules and limits to what he could see or do with it. Although I wished for this to be a bigger part of the story, I could tell that his ability to see visions was used as a plot device, a metaphor, and something to help bring Alex's character arc to a close.
My favorite part of the story was Alex's relationship with his brother, Isaiah. The two have been growing apart ever since multiple events in both their lives and a secret that both share in common Alex and Isaiah both have a lot of guilt. Alex realized that he was incapable of changing the future, and instead of attempting to make a change in a person's life before the event he foresaw, he hid away until it was over. This time with Isaiah, he's going to try to discover their relationship again and who Isaiah really is. At the same time, he is battling with his common sense, which tells him that there will be no way for him to stop Isaiah's death, while his emotions tell him that there is still a chance.
What felt lacking in this story had a lot to do with Alex's past relationship with Talia's older brother. I learn that they are close friends. I see how much emotion is contained inside Alex, but I cannot understand it as much as I want to. I wanted to learn more about their friendship and see the way they impacted each other's lives. Without such an emotional anchor in their relationship, it felt empty and flat. I enjoyed Talia's character and the important parts of their relationship. This is something I have never read in a book before, but I was really glad to see it here: Alex loves Talia, but he is not ready to have sex with her. He's stating his boundary and knows that he isn't ready to do this yet, and I really appreciated that this played a role in how Talia would approach things until he was ready.
As the two rebuild their relationship from the state it was left in, it is amazing to see how Isaiah and Alex transform from tentative to loving. The two start to lean on each other and learn how to navigate their grief, guilt, fear, and love. The focus on this relationship between the two brothers was heartwarming. Near the end of the book, there were certain scenes that were written with such clarity and emotion. I found myself tuning out the world outside and being deeply immersed in the love, hope, and beauty that existed between the two. It was like scenes from a movie, and I felt as if I was transferred into this memory for a moment.
Near the end, the story deals with important topics. The ending is not a happily-ever-after. It's a story with an impact and a story to tell. A emotional read that is definitely worth the time.
(The cover is absolutely gorgeous I love the drawing and the imagery that reflects the story)!
✅PLOT
✅🆗CHARACTERS
✅PLOT TWISTS
3.25 Stars
Alex is filled with anxiety when his newest vision shows him the death of his younger brother, Isaiah. Ever since his parents deaths, he has been able to see a vision of the future whenever he touches an object or person. Alex is filled with guilt, knowing that he will be unable to stop a person's death from happening. He has a chance to make up for all the memories he and his younger brother never got to make. As he discovers things about Isaiah he never knew about, the two are brought closer together, which only fills Alex with more pain for their final goodbye. As his fear of his ability causes miscommunication between him and his beloved girlfriend Talia, he struggles to control his life when it is filled with the uncontrollable. Brittney Morris writes an emotional novel about relationships, grief, and fear—a love letter to all the Black boys who had to grow up too quickly.
The Cost of Knowing is a story of joy and love that is shadowed by an impending sense of the inevitable. Alex is filled with anxiety constantly, always stressing out about the future and the many factors of his life. I found the aspect of his power to be very interesting, and appreciated that there were rules and limits to what he could see or do with it. Although I wished for this to be a bigger part of the story, I could tell that his ability to see visions was used as a plot device, a metaphor, and something to help bring Alex's character arc to a close.
My favorite part of the story was Alex's relationship with his brother, Isaiah. The two have been growing apart ever since multiple events in both their lives and a secret that both share in common Alex and Isaiah both have a lot of guilt. Alex realized that he was incapable of changing the future, and instead of attempting to make a change in a person's life before the event he foresaw, he hid away until it was over. This time with Isaiah, he's going to try to discover their relationship again and who Isaiah really is. At the same time, he is battling with his common sense, which tells him that there will be no way for him to stop Isaiah's death, while his emotions tell him that there is still a chance.
What felt lacking in this story had a lot to do with Alex's past relationship with Talia's older brother. I learn that they are close friends. I see how much emotion is contained inside Alex, but I cannot understand it as much as I want to. I wanted to learn more about their friendship and see the way they impacted each other's lives. Without such an emotional anchor in their relationship, it felt empty and flat. I enjoyed Talia's character and the important parts of their relationship. This is something I have never read in a book before, but I was really glad to see it here: Alex loves Talia, but he is not ready to have sex with her. He's stating his boundary and knows that he isn't ready to do this yet, and I really appreciated that this played a role in how Talia would approach things until he was ready.
As the two rebuild their relationship from the state it was left in, it is amazing to see how Isaiah and Alex transform from tentative to loving. The two start to lean on each other and learn how to navigate their grief, guilt, fear, and love. The focus on this relationship between the two brothers was heartwarming. Near the end of the book, there were certain scenes that were written with such clarity and emotion. I found myself tuning out the world outside and being deeply immersed in the love, hope, and beauty that existed between the two. It was like scenes from a movie, and I felt as if I was transferred into this memory for a moment.
Near the end, the story deals with important topics. The ending is not a happily-ever-after. It's a story with an impact and a story to tell. A emotional read that is definitely worth the time.
(The cover is absolutely gorgeous I love the drawing and the imagery that reflects the story)!
✅PLOT
✅🆗CHARACTERS
✅PLOT TWISTS
September 7, 2020
This book wrecked me, but in a way that it probably needs to.
Alex is a young man with the gift, and curse, of seeing future events when he touches someone or an item. As much as he is able, he tries to not touch people he loves, not after he saw his best friend's death and was unable to stop it. But an accidental touch of a photograph shows him mourning at his younger brother's grave site. Alex is devastated, and determined to spend as much time with his brother as possible after spending years keeping him at arms length. Danger seems everywhere, especially because Alex and his brother Isaiah are two black kids in a mostly white neighborhood. Their next door neighbor shoots a young black male when he sees him attempting to break into a house, a popular rapper's upcoming concert is suddenly a crusade for the Karens (in this case an actual Karen) of the neighborhood to stop "bad influences" from coming in, and the clock is ticking for Isaiah. How does a young teen navigate a world that sees him and his brother always as a criminal, a danger, something to fear and something to destroy?
I was a puddle of tears by the end, but damn, this book is powerful. I hope someday Brittney Morris gets to write her book purely about black boy joy, but we can't get there as a society until we all know and acknowledge and then do something to make our society a safe place for boys like Alex and Isaiah.
Alex is a young man with the gift, and curse, of seeing future events when he touches someone or an item. As much as he is able, he tries to not touch people he loves, not after he saw his best friend's death and was unable to stop it. But an accidental touch of a photograph shows him mourning at his younger brother's grave site. Alex is devastated, and determined to spend as much time with his brother as possible after spending years keeping him at arms length. Danger seems everywhere, especially because Alex and his brother Isaiah are two black kids in a mostly white neighborhood. Their next door neighbor shoots a young black male when he sees him attempting to break into a house, a popular rapper's upcoming concert is suddenly a crusade for the Karens (in this case an actual Karen) of the neighborhood to stop "bad influences" from coming in, and the clock is ticking for Isaiah. How does a young teen navigate a world that sees him and his brother always as a criminal, a danger, something to fear and something to destroy?
I was a puddle of tears by the end, but damn, this book is powerful. I hope someday Brittney Morris gets to write her book purely about black boy joy, but we can't get there as a society until we all know and acknowledge and then do something to make our society a safe place for boys like Alex and Isaiah.
July 21, 2021
Going with a 4.5 star rating. This was such a heart wrenching book. I wasn't fully invested until the last half of the book. The "magic" aspect of seeing into the future and the past was interesting. I enjoyed Alex and the mental health representation with his anxiety. I think Alex handled himself as well as he could. He was dealt a terrible hand. I think Isaiah was such a precious child. Talia was low-key annoying...I could have did without her honestly.
The Zaccari's....there are no words for how much I want to smack the wife and seriously burn the husband. Disgusting human beings honestly. Aunt Mackie was a sweet woman.
The writing was amazing, the plot was nerve-wrecking, the romance was unneeded. The talk on young black boys, racism and prejudice was absolutely well done!!! I could see me having my son read this when he gets older.
Definitely a great read! Recommend for sure.
The Zaccari's....there are no words for how much I want to smack the wife and seriously burn the husband. Disgusting human beings honestly. Aunt Mackie was a sweet woman.
The writing was amazing, the plot was nerve-wrecking, the romance was unneeded. The talk on young black boys, racism and prejudice was absolutely well done!!! I could see me having my son read this when he gets older.
Definitely a great read! Recommend for sure.
March 7, 2021
Originally published on The Nerd Daily | Review by Beth Mowbray
Much like her debut novel, SLAY, Brittney Morris’s new novel The Cost of Knowing is a work of young adult fiction which explores the experience of being a young Black person in the United States today. This sophomore effort, however, centers on a male rather than a female protagonist and adds a dimension of magic to create a captivating and moving reading experience.
Read the FULL REVIEW on The Nerd Daily
Much like her debut novel, SLAY, Brittney Morris’s new novel The Cost of Knowing is a work of young adult fiction which explores the experience of being a young Black person in the United States today. This sophomore effort, however, centers on a male rather than a female protagonist and adds a dimension of magic to create a captivating and moving reading experience.
Read the FULL REVIEW on The Nerd Daily
March 9, 2022
*Overdrive app *
Narration: 4 stars 🌟
Story/characters: 4 stars 🌟
Narration: 4 stars 🌟
Story/characters: 4 stars 🌟
April 5, 2021
(Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)
TW: racism, suicidal ideation, self-harm, anxiety
The Cost of Knowing explores the concept of the future. If you had the ability to see a snippet of the future, what would you do? I feel like we think about this often, but the actual manifestation of it, and Alex's powers, would actually be terrifying. How would we divert, or prevent, the future? How would we know how much of our life was our own decision, or just destiny? Is there a difference? The Cost of Knowing has this fabulous world building seed that has all these ramifications. Is Alex's power a gift or a curse?
In our world where touch is fraught with health concerns, for Alex he risks seeing our future in the simplest of gestures. Can you even imagine how that would be? Alex is saddled with not only this heavy mental, and emotional, burden, but also the weight and anxiety of the future. He's very literally afraid of reaching out to because of the knowledge of what could be. The Cost of Knowing is a unique and thought provoking book as it explores this concept and the ripples it leaves.
full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...
TW: racism, suicidal ideation, self-harm, anxiety
The Cost of Knowing explores the concept of the future. If you had the ability to see a snippet of the future, what would you do? I feel like we think about this often, but the actual manifestation of it, and Alex's powers, would actually be terrifying. How would we divert, or prevent, the future? How would we know how much of our life was our own decision, or just destiny? Is there a difference? The Cost of Knowing has this fabulous world building seed that has all these ramifications. Is Alex's power a gift or a curse?
In our world where touch is fraught with health concerns, for Alex he risks seeing our future in the simplest of gestures. Can you even imagine how that would be? Alex is saddled with not only this heavy mental, and emotional, burden, but also the weight and anxiety of the future. He's very literally afraid of reaching out to because of the knowledge of what could be. The Cost of Knowing is a unique and thought provoking book as it explores this concept and the ripples it leaves.
full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...
November 26, 2020
Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.
First off, let's get this out of the way. Slay was incredible. I genuinely couldn't believe it was Morris's debut when I read it.
The Cost of Knowing is so good that it managed to remind me that Slay was a debut.
16-year-old Alex is trying to navigate having a girlfriend, part-time job, his relationship with his aunt and brother, and the expectations of his dead parents. That's all a lot even for kids without magical curses.
Alex sees the future of everything he touches and as a result, does everything he can to keep from touching anything and anyone. it's lead to conflict with his girlfriend and job but luckily he doesn't have to do much to avoid touching his 12-year-old brother Isaiah since he stays in his room most days anyway. When Alex accidentally touches an object that shows him his brothers incoming and unavoidable death, he decide to do everything in his power to do everything in his power to keep his brother as safe and happy as possible for as long as possible. And maybe he'll break a curse around the way.
The way Morris interweaves racial tensions and issues with this book's curse elements and Alex's relationship with all the other characters is stunning. Knowing that Isaiah's probably going to die never once takes away from the growing dread of knowing we must be getting closer and closer to his death, and I loved how everything plays out.
Whether or not you were obsessed with Slay, you need to read this.
First off, let's get this out of the way. Slay was incredible. I genuinely couldn't believe it was Morris's debut when I read it.
The Cost of Knowing is so good that it managed to remind me that Slay was a debut.
16-year-old Alex is trying to navigate having a girlfriend, part-time job, his relationship with his aunt and brother, and the expectations of his dead parents. That's all a lot even for kids without magical curses.
Alex sees the future of everything he touches and as a result, does everything he can to keep from touching anything and anyone. it's lead to conflict with his girlfriend and job but luckily he doesn't have to do much to avoid touching his 12-year-old brother Isaiah since he stays in his room most days anyway. When Alex accidentally touches an object that shows him his brothers incoming and unavoidable death, he decide to do everything in his power to do everything in his power to keep his brother as safe and happy as possible for as long as possible. And maybe he'll break a curse around the way.
The way Morris interweaves racial tensions and issues with this book's curse elements and Alex's relationship with all the other characters is stunning. Knowing that Isaiah's probably going to die never once takes away from the growing dread of knowing we must be getting closer and closer to his death, and I loved how everything plays out.
Whether or not you were obsessed with Slay, you need to read this.
to-read-so-bad-it-hurts
June 9, 2020'Two brothers are cursed. Alex can see the future. Isaiah can see the past. When Alex, the older, sees a vision of Isaiah dying in a few days, cue a race against time to track where this family curse came from & figure out what it means to be a Black boy in the present.'
I can't waitttt
Source
I can't waitttt
Source
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