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At Heaven's Door: What Shared Journeys to the Afterlife Teach About Dying Well and Living Better
A groundbreaking, authoritative exploration—rich with powerful personal stories and convincing research—of the many ways the living can and do accompany the dying on their journey into the afterlife.
In 2000, end-of-life therapist William Peters was volunteering at the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco when he had an extraordinary experience as he was reading aloud to a patient: he suddenly felt himself floating in midair, completely out of his body. The patient, who was also aloft, looked at him and smiled. The next moment, Peters felt himself return to his body…but the patient never regained consciousness and died.
Perplexed and stunned by what had happened, Peters began searching for other people who’d shared similar experiences. He would spend the next twenty years gathering and meticulously categorizing their stories to identify key patterns and features of what is now known as the “shared crossing” experience. The similarities, which cut across continents and cultures and include awe-inspiring visual and sensory effects, and powerful emotional after-effects, were impossible to ignore.
Long whispered about in the hospice and medical communities, these extraordinary moments of final passage are openly discussed and explained in At Heaven’s Door . The book is filled with powerful tales of spouses on departing this earth after decades together and bereaved parents who share their children’s entry into the afterlife. Applying rigorous research, Peters digs into the effect these shared crossing experiences impart—liberation at the sight of a loved one finding joy, a sense of reconciliation if the relationship was fraught—and explores questions like: What can explain these shared death experiences? How can we increase our likelihood of having one? What do these experiences tell us about what lies beyond? And, most importantly, how can they help take away the sting of death and better prepare us for our own final moments? How can we have both a better life and a better death?
In 2000, end-of-life therapist William Peters was volunteering at the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco when he had an extraordinary experience as he was reading aloud to a patient: he suddenly felt himself floating in midair, completely out of his body. The patient, who was also aloft, looked at him and smiled. The next moment, Peters felt himself return to his body…but the patient never regained consciousness and died.
Perplexed and stunned by what had happened, Peters began searching for other people who’d shared similar experiences. He would spend the next twenty years gathering and meticulously categorizing their stories to identify key patterns and features of what is now known as the “shared crossing” experience. The similarities, which cut across continents and cultures and include awe-inspiring visual and sensory effects, and powerful emotional after-effects, were impossible to ignore.
Long whispered about in the hospice and medical communities, these extraordinary moments of final passage are openly discussed and explained in At Heaven’s Door . The book is filled with powerful tales of spouses on departing this earth after decades together and bereaved parents who share their children’s entry into the afterlife. Applying rigorous research, Peters digs into the effect these shared crossing experiences impart—liberation at the sight of a loved one finding joy, a sense of reconciliation if the relationship was fraught—and explores questions like: What can explain these shared death experiences? How can we increase our likelihood of having one? What do these experiences tell us about what lies beyond? And, most importantly, how can they help take away the sting of death and better prepare us for our own final moments? How can we have both a better life and a better death?
256 pages, Hardcover
Published January 18, 2022
89 people are currently reading
1388 people want to read
About the author
William J. Peters
11 books3 followersWilliam Peters, M.Ed., M.F.T., is the founder of the Shared Crossing Project and director of its Research Initiative. Recognized as a global leader in the field of shared-death studies, he has spent decades studying end-of-life experiences. Previously, Peters worked as a hospice volunteer with the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco and as a teacher and social worker in Central and South America. As a psychotherapist working in grief and bereavement, he holds degrees from Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, UC Berkeley, and the California Institute of Integral Studies. His work on end-of-life is informed by his therapeutic work with individuals and families facing grief and bereavement, personal experiences with death and dying across cultures, and his family’s own end-of-life journeys. www.SharedCrossingProject.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
January 29, 2022
I won this book in a giveaway, but was hesitant to begin reading it. The genre is not my typical style of novel (fiction), plus I am still grieving the loss of my father less than a year ago. My mother died rather suddenly 9 years ago, and I did not experience anything like the “Shared Death Experiences” this book is about. I worried that I would deal with feelings of loss and regret, and I don’t need anything to trigger that for me.
The stories and interviews Peters writes about are interesting and convincing. The reader won’t be able to walk away without believing in heaven and in “something better” once we pass away. Death is discussed in terms of acceptance rather than loss and with a positive spin on how warm and happy and joyful our spirits will be after we die.
Some of this is hard to swallow – is it possible that Shared Death Experiences are just the wishes and yearnings of the still-living? There’s a final chapter that deals with how YOU can have this experience, too, but it left me thinking I wasn’t receptive or connected enough to either of my parents to have an opportunity to share their crossover to death.
I think this story / book would have been better received as a video or documentary. If I could watch the people tell their stories, I’d feel more intrigued and less left-out.
The stories and interviews Peters writes about are interesting and convincing. The reader won’t be able to walk away without believing in heaven and in “something better” once we pass away. Death is discussed in terms of acceptance rather than loss and with a positive spin on how warm and happy and joyful our spirits will be after we die.
Some of this is hard to swallow – is it possible that Shared Death Experiences are just the wishes and yearnings of the still-living? There’s a final chapter that deals with how YOU can have this experience, too, but it left me thinking I wasn’t receptive or connected enough to either of my parents to have an opportunity to share their crossover to death.
I think this story / book would have been better received as a video or documentary. If I could watch the people tell their stories, I’d feel more intrigued and less left-out.
December 27, 2021
Shared crossings are not something I had ever heard of before so this was very new, exciting information to me. The numerous stories in this book are amazing and very comforting. The first third of the book contains some very difficult (heartwrenching) ones so please be prepared. If you are open and ready to hear about ‘shared death experiences’ this is truly a wonderful, eye-opening book.
February 8, 2022
I found this book to be a very enlightening and intriguing read. I don't discount the fact that people have experienced Shared Death Experiences aka SDE. In fact, I think I too have had one before when I was very young but can't recall it.
Reading the various stories and SDEs that were featured in this book were interesting. No one story was really the same. Depending on the circumstance and level of relationship with the deceased can effect how the SDE transpires.
I do believe in God and heaven. I am not really afraid of where I will end up after I die but yet, reading this book does help to provide some extra comfort to me. Also, should I experience an SDE again, I know not to be afraid. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book.
Reading the various stories and SDEs that were featured in this book were interesting. No one story was really the same. Depending on the circumstance and level of relationship with the deceased can effect how the SDE transpires.
I do believe in God and heaven. I am not really afraid of where I will end up after I die but yet, reading this book does help to provide some extra comfort to me. Also, should I experience an SDE again, I know not to be afraid. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book.
December 12, 2021
In addition to reading this much appreciated copy from the publisher, I have already ordered and talked about this book to many! We all are here for a finite amount of time and we can not micro manage what happens when we pass and who and how those moments are shared with. It’s a sacred and profound part of our lives. This book is a collection of manh who have had powerful moments with those they love. It’s a book to be read with reverence and awe. Highly recommend!!
August 18, 2022
Many of us have heard about moments where someone “just knew” that a person they loved had died. They had a “feeling” or they felt something shift in their bodies. In my work in Hospice in the late 1990s, I also heard of numerous “death experiences” from patients and their families. The author William Peters was also working in Hospice in 2000 when he experienced a shared death experience with a dying patient. That experience was so different than anything he had heard about that he spent 20 years researching and gathering stories from others who have experienced something similar.
Peters, through the Shared Crossing Research Initiative, has studied a range of end-of-life experiences. You can find more information at SharedCrossing.com/research. A shared death experience is defined as:
an experience that occurs when an individual feels that they have somehow shared in a dying person’s transition from this life to whatever lies beyond.
Many that have experienced a shared death have been said to witness the crossing from this life to the next, to have guided the person towards something new and beautiful, and even have accompanied them part of the way on their final journey. The majority, 64%, were physically distant from the person who was dying when they experienced a Shared Death Experience (SDE) in the cases studied. An unusual phenomenon occurred most often, with 88% sharing a vision of the dying person (often a younger version), a brilliant light, alterations of time and space, or the presence of previously deceased loved ones.
The stories shared by those who experienced an SDE were emotional, but also mostly healing. Each of the experiences Peters shares in the book offers the hope of a life after death which eased the pain a bit for the loved one left behind. Some felt like it was their duty to guide their loved ones or their role was a supporting one to help them cross over. Women seem to be more likely to experience an SDE since 85% of those reporting were women. Many were afraid to tell others of their visions or feelings, worried that people would think they were “crazy” or filled with grief. But, as they shared the stories of the journey with their loved ones, many found a common message in their stories…that their role was important in the loved ones’ end-of-life journey.
Liz’s story of one of her twins dying in the womb was the most emotional story for me. Her vision of a party with all four of her deceased grandparents as younger versions long before she knew them was life-changing for her. It was a very loving scene, even though the grandparents she knew and remembered were not very loving. She saw a swaddled baby and a sense of them taking care of the baby. She felt sure the experience was meant for her to see and understand her baby was going to be cared for. For years she only shared that story with her minister and he told her she saw Heaven. This vision changed her grieving and outlook on life.
Many of the SDEs shared in this book leave you feeling hopeful and assured that your loved ones will be well cared for in their next life. If you are struggling with grief or worried about a loved one’s final journey, this book can give you hope, even if you haven’t or won’t experience an SDE. But, it also offers hope that you might get to be part of that final journey and get your own glimpse of Heaven.
Peters, through the Shared Crossing Research Initiative, has studied a range of end-of-life experiences. You can find more information at SharedCrossing.com/research. A shared death experience is defined as:
an experience that occurs when an individual feels that they have somehow shared in a dying person’s transition from this life to whatever lies beyond.
Many that have experienced a shared death have been said to witness the crossing from this life to the next, to have guided the person towards something new and beautiful, and even have accompanied them part of the way on their final journey. The majority, 64%, were physically distant from the person who was dying when they experienced a Shared Death Experience (SDE) in the cases studied. An unusual phenomenon occurred most often, with 88% sharing a vision of the dying person (often a younger version), a brilliant light, alterations of time and space, or the presence of previously deceased loved ones.
The stories shared by those who experienced an SDE were emotional, but also mostly healing. Each of the experiences Peters shares in the book offers the hope of a life after death which eased the pain a bit for the loved one left behind. Some felt like it was their duty to guide their loved ones or their role was a supporting one to help them cross over. Women seem to be more likely to experience an SDE since 85% of those reporting were women. Many were afraid to tell others of their visions or feelings, worried that people would think they were “crazy” or filled with grief. But, as they shared the stories of the journey with their loved ones, many found a common message in their stories…that their role was important in the loved ones’ end-of-life journey.
Liz’s story of one of her twins dying in the womb was the most emotional story for me. Her vision of a party with all four of her deceased grandparents as younger versions long before she knew them was life-changing for her. It was a very loving scene, even though the grandparents she knew and remembered were not very loving. She saw a swaddled baby and a sense of them taking care of the baby. She felt sure the experience was meant for her to see and understand her baby was going to be cared for. For years she only shared that story with her minister and he told her she saw Heaven. This vision changed her grieving and outlook on life.
Many of the SDEs shared in this book leave you feeling hopeful and assured that your loved ones will be well cared for in their next life. If you are struggling with grief or worried about a loved one’s final journey, this book can give you hope, even if you haven’t or won’t experience an SDE. But, it also offers hope that you might get to be part of that final journey and get your own glimpse of Heaven.
April 17, 2023
I am not religious or spiritual. That said, I am also of the opinion that a complete denial of a higher force, be it God, Buddha, alien, statistics, or the Law of Large Numbers, is pompous and egoistic.
With no reference or citation, it is rather thick-skinned for the authors to call the book "research" and quite a stretch to categorize it as non-fiction.
With all that said, I am still giving the book a four-star rating because if we do not take the book at face value, which, in my opinion, is how all religions should be regarded, the topics discussed in the book are important, and the authors come out with good faith.
I want to focus on two topics: the acceptance of death and the limitation of the close-mindedness of some religion clergy members.
Death is a taboo topic where I grew up, so much so that one cannot gift his/her elders a clock (because the pronunciation of gifting a clock, 送钟, is the same as bidding farewell at the funeral, 送终) or discuss the arrangement of will and tomb selection when the elders are still alive (my father was hit hard by this, as his mother's unwillingness to purchase a tomb ahead of time caused tremendous emotional and financial woes for the entire family later on). As the authors explain in the book, the cultural avoidance of death leads to the unnecessary prolonging of life, with the help of ever more sophisticated machines and complex medicines, just to keep the heart beating. For what? For the dying to lay unconscious on a hospital bed with tubes coming in and out of everywhere on the body? For the living to boast to their peers that they have spared no effort to keep the dying "alive"? For extending the collection of pensions?
That, to me, is cruel. Death is part of life, and when the time comes, it comes. There is nothing wrong with the dying seeking an end to this journey, nor is there anything shameful for the living to let go. Regardless of whether there exists a realm beyond, dying with dignity is what we shall all strive for. The current norm of "forcing" the living to keep the dying bedridden for months or years, with gazillion amounts of chemicals pumped into the body, is the complete opposite of what death should be. Being a staunch supporter of euthanasia, I hope society can gradually de-taboo the topic of death and celebrate it the same way as birth—they are the two sides of the same coin; why treat them differently? From this perspective, the book is doing a great job of opening up people's minds and letting them know death is okay.
The book also reveals the limitation of the close-mindedness of some religion clergy members, as they refuse to accept the interviewees' shared death experience (SDE), probably because the SDE is against the their rules of how the religion is practiced. Although not religious, I think religion in its pure form is an essential part of humanity. Yet, if someone clergy members are so close-minded as to deny other peoples' spiritual experience, or even worse, use the organized religion's texts and rules as a pretext to dictate what to believe, how to believe, and where to believe, it is no longer pure. It is putting shackles and chains on one's spirituality. Everyone CAN access a higher being within him/herself. Everyone CAN choose to believe whatever he/she has experienced. Who gives a clergy member the power to decide whether someone's SDE is real?
People working for an organized religion shall be the most open-minded because his/her role is to guide spirituality, not to fossilize it and be its ultimate dictator. Religious leaders shall be the best listener and the Shepard, not a punisher with a whip to catch you when you fall out of their interpretation of the text. Those fundamentalists and originalists are not practicing religion; they are practicing power, not unlike authoritarian governments. Although the book does not go this far to criticize these people in depth, I am still glad that the authors took a few jabs at their close-mindedness.
Finally, if we do away with all the spirituality, there is still one thing I love about the book. It teaches us to be open-minded, open-minded about other people's experiences. You might not believe an iota of their SDE, but it is their experience. It helps them heal and allows them to view life and death differently. That is good enough, and we shall respect that (until, of course, they gain enough power to force the experience on everyone else. That is when we must resist, as people during Renaissance have done. But that is a post for another time).
# Update 2023-04-16
After a heated conversation with my wife, who is deeply religious, I realize that my previous rather contemptuous take on the organized religions shows, ironically, my own close-mindedness. While I believe everyone can have a direct connection with a higher being without the need for organized religions serving as the middleman, that does NOT make organized religions impure just because they do the same thing via texts and rituals. We are all trying to achieve the same goal, just with different means. And there are indeed different means because there are no one true or pure way of talking to God. All manners to access one's spirituality are to be respected, just like all ways to express ourselves.
I am deeply sorry for what I wrote previously (the text has since been changed) and apologize to all those who feel hurt by my biased words.
With no reference or citation, it is rather thick-skinned for the authors to call the book "research" and quite a stretch to categorize it as non-fiction.
With all that said, I am still giving the book a four-star rating because if we do not take the book at face value, which, in my opinion, is how all religions should be regarded, the topics discussed in the book are important, and the authors come out with good faith.
I want to focus on two topics: the acceptance of death and the limitation of the close-mindedness of some religion clergy members.
Death is a taboo topic where I grew up, so much so that one cannot gift his/her elders a clock (because the pronunciation of gifting a clock, 送钟, is the same as bidding farewell at the funeral, 送终) or discuss the arrangement of will and tomb selection when the elders are still alive (my father was hit hard by this, as his mother's unwillingness to purchase a tomb ahead of time caused tremendous emotional and financial woes for the entire family later on). As the authors explain in the book, the cultural avoidance of death leads to the unnecessary prolonging of life, with the help of ever more sophisticated machines and complex medicines, just to keep the heart beating. For what? For the dying to lay unconscious on a hospital bed with tubes coming in and out of everywhere on the body? For the living to boast to their peers that they have spared no effort to keep the dying "alive"? For extending the collection of pensions?
That, to me, is cruel. Death is part of life, and when the time comes, it comes. There is nothing wrong with the dying seeking an end to this journey, nor is there anything shameful for the living to let go. Regardless of whether there exists a realm beyond, dying with dignity is what we shall all strive for. The current norm of "forcing" the living to keep the dying bedridden for months or years, with gazillion amounts of chemicals pumped into the body, is the complete opposite of what death should be. Being a staunch supporter of euthanasia, I hope society can gradually de-taboo the topic of death and celebrate it the same way as birth—they are the two sides of the same coin; why treat them differently? From this perspective, the book is doing a great job of opening up people's minds and letting them know death is okay.
The book also reveals the limitation of the close-mindedness of some religion clergy members, as they refuse to accept the interviewees' shared death experience (SDE), probably because the SDE is against the their rules of how the religion is practiced. Although not religious, I think religion in its pure form is an essential part of humanity. Yet, if someone clergy members are so close-minded as to deny other peoples' spiritual experience, or even worse, use the organized religion's texts and rules as a pretext to dictate what to believe, how to believe, and where to believe, it is no longer pure. It is putting shackles and chains on one's spirituality. Everyone CAN access a higher being within him/herself. Everyone CAN choose to believe whatever he/she has experienced. Who gives a clergy member the power to decide whether someone's SDE is real?
People working for an organized religion shall be the most open-minded because his/her role is to guide spirituality, not to fossilize it and be its ultimate dictator. Religious leaders shall be the best listener and the Shepard, not a punisher with a whip to catch you when you fall out of their interpretation of the text. Those fundamentalists and originalists are not practicing religion; they are practicing power, not unlike authoritarian governments. Although the book does not go this far to criticize these people in depth, I am still glad that the authors took a few jabs at their close-mindedness.
Finally, if we do away with all the spirituality, there is still one thing I love about the book. It teaches us to be open-minded, open-minded about other people's experiences. You might not believe an iota of their SDE, but it is their experience. It helps them heal and allows them to view life and death differently. That is good enough, and we shall respect that (until, of course, they gain enough power to force the experience on everyone else. That is when we must resist, as people during Renaissance have done. But that is a post for another time).
# Update 2023-04-16
After a heated conversation with my wife, who is deeply religious, I realize that my previous rather contemptuous take on the organized religions shows, ironically, my own close-mindedness. While I believe everyone can have a direct connection with a higher being without the need for organized religions serving as the middleman, that does NOT make organized religions impure just because they do the same thing via texts and rituals. We are all trying to achieve the same goal, just with different means. And there are indeed different means because there are no one true or pure way of talking to God. All manners to access one's spirituality are to be respected, just like all ways to express ourselves.
I am deeply sorry for what I wrote previously (the text has since been changed) and apologize to all those who feel hurt by my biased words.
January 29, 2022
We don't get out of here alive, so why not learn a bit about what will or has faced us in terms of loved ones passing.
Have you ever researched a gadget or vacation spot? Seems fitting to explore a bit about what may lie ahead, whether for your own-self or for a loved one who is facing a transition...
W.Peters well documented, yet easy to read (and listen to - he is a good narrator) both inspires and comforts; it also gave me pause and sparked my curiosity.
Hearing a variety of experiences from people in USA & Europe was intriguing. It was validating.
Having had some pre-death coincidences or perhaps pre-death experiences/visitations, his work has validated some of my own mystic experiences/coincidences. I still feel shy about them but that said I am overjoyed and nearly in tears to read such a cohesive beautiful book about something so universal - passing/death....and yet found ease, confidence & wonder.
Big thank-yous to William Peters, Shared Crossing and all the participants. Am already hoping for a second book. I devoured this one.
Have you ever researched a gadget or vacation spot? Seems fitting to explore a bit about what may lie ahead, whether for your own-self or for a loved one who is facing a transition...
W.Peters well documented, yet easy to read (and listen to - he is a good narrator) both inspires and comforts; it also gave me pause and sparked my curiosity.
Hearing a variety of experiences from people in USA & Europe was intriguing. It was validating.
Having had some pre-death coincidences or perhaps pre-death experiences/visitations, his work has validated some of my own mystic experiences/coincidences. I still feel shy about them but that said I am overjoyed and nearly in tears to read such a cohesive beautiful book about something so universal - passing/death....and yet found ease, confidence & wonder.
Big thank-yous to William Peters, Shared Crossing and all the participants. Am already hoping for a second book. I devoured this one.
December 13, 2023
Really enjoyed this book. I loved the stories... (and the research behind them.) To me it is a feel good non-fiction book - that reminded me what in my heart of hearts I believe about the love we have after our bodies cease to function... a.
March 23, 2022
I have read several books about near death experiences. This book was about shared death experiences, which I found interesting. I have had two opportunities in which a loved one shared with me that they saw the other world or deceased relatives before they died. So I appreciated the stories of others in this arena. The book was well researched and narrated on Audible.
March 14, 2022
Pretty interesting book in the “afterlife studies” genre. This book is a collection of testimonials of people who experienced Shared Death Experiences aka Deathbed Visions with a dying loved one. Unlike a near death experience (NDE) in which an individual experiences a variety of phenomena on the threshold of death, a shared death experience (SDE) is phenomena in which another individual or multiple individuals share in the dying process of another person either in person or remotely. The author contends that there are four distinct though not exclusive ways in which people may experience an SDE: remotely sensing a death, witnessing unusual phenomena attributed to a death, feelings of accompanying the dying, and feelings of assisting the dying.
Very interesting subject and this book does for SDEs what Raymond Moody’s book does for NDEs and Brian Weiss’s book does for reincarnation. Very groundbreaking. Its only flaw to me was the vast collection of testimonials kind of gets redundant and boring. I would have liked to learn more about the data and research process instead of just relying on people’s stories at face value.
Very interesting subject and this book does for SDEs what Raymond Moody’s book does for NDEs and Brian Weiss’s book does for reincarnation. Very groundbreaking. Its only flaw to me was the vast collection of testimonials kind of gets redundant and boring. I would have liked to learn more about the data and research process instead of just relying on people’s stories at face value.
October 29, 2021
For some, this book will give clarification for the meaning of death -- for those with an open mind.
William J. Peters starts as though you're sitting in a comfortable chair and the therapist asks: "What brings you here?" Well, it's a complex topic about death and dying.
There has been a number of books recently published about near-death experiences but this one takes a different approach. It is from the point of view with a person that is having a profound experience with someone that is dying - someone they know well. It could be a visualization, an out-of-body experience or a sense of knowing that someone has just died. This book presents several back-to-back eye-opening cases in various forms.
I found the most interesting story was from the author with his personal experience with his father's passing. Earlier in his career, he was inspired by Raymond Moody, known for his books on the afterlife and near-death experiences. Peters has followed his research and developments with a group he has created: "Shared Crossing Project" which he now directs. It focuses on the end-of-life process with the person that has experienced an extraordinary moment with someone dying. With his team, he has generated piles of research and cases included his own.
This is not a book for everyone. Many will dismiss it with their religious views. And, no one knows for sure what happens to someone that dies. Yet, the people that have experiences feel like they know some gigantic secret which feels real. Most people believe in some form of the afterlife and most have a difficult time addressing what it means.
I found the stories easy to read and interesting which makes me want to learn more about the research process. It took me awhile to read as I kept pausing to rehash my own experiences. The book will be one of the few resources available for those that have questions about the complexities of death. Peters also provides the reader with the website for "Shared Crossing Project." It includes an expanded version of his bio.
My thanks to William J. Peters, Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced copy with an expected release date of January 11, 2022.
William J. Peters starts as though you're sitting in a comfortable chair and the therapist asks: "What brings you here?" Well, it's a complex topic about death and dying.
There has been a number of books recently published about near-death experiences but this one takes a different approach. It is from the point of view with a person that is having a profound experience with someone that is dying - someone they know well. It could be a visualization, an out-of-body experience or a sense of knowing that someone has just died. This book presents several back-to-back eye-opening cases in various forms.
I found the most interesting story was from the author with his personal experience with his father's passing. Earlier in his career, he was inspired by Raymond Moody, known for his books on the afterlife and near-death experiences. Peters has followed his research and developments with a group he has created: "Shared Crossing Project" which he now directs. It focuses on the end-of-life process with the person that has experienced an extraordinary moment with someone dying. With his team, he has generated piles of research and cases included his own.
This is not a book for everyone. Many will dismiss it with their religious views. And, no one knows for sure what happens to someone that dies. Yet, the people that have experiences feel like they know some gigantic secret which feels real. Most people believe in some form of the afterlife and most have a difficult time addressing what it means.
I found the stories easy to read and interesting which makes me want to learn more about the research process. It took me awhile to read as I kept pausing to rehash my own experiences. The book will be one of the few resources available for those that have questions about the complexities of death. Peters also provides the reader with the website for "Shared Crossing Project." It includes an expanded version of his bio.
My thanks to William J. Peters, Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for allowing me to read this advanced copy with an expected release date of January 11, 2022.
April 20, 2023
Interesting, sometimes emotional, but nothing new for me. It was an easy read because it was so very anecdotal, but though the authors kept referencing "all the research" that they'd done, it just still seemed like, "listen to all these cool stories we were told". That doesn't invalidate the truth of the stories told, but somehow I felt like I needed more background and well, facts to back it all up. Completely different from the books by Kübler-Ross I read ages ago, on near-death experiences. However, this book did reference some other books that I will go check out.
January 10, 2023
This book is the culmination of more than two decades of researching and reporting on the phenomenon of "Shared Death Experiences," which are similar to near-death experiences, but, as their name suggests, experienced along with the dying person by one or more individuals.
As a 17-year-old, carefree youth, the author had a ski accident that nearly paralyzed him. While lying unconscious on a mountainside in Lake Tahoe, Peters experienced a near-death, out-of-body experience that he discussed with no one, but that changed the course of his life. During this NDE, he felt aware that every moment, every word we say, and every act in which we participate, matters greatly -- and was horrified to realize that he had wasted his life. He begged God for another chance, which he was granted. Peters went on to graduate from Berkeley, study theology as a graduate student, work as a Jesuit volunteer in impoverished countries around the world, work with dying AIDS patients in San Francisco, and then to join the Zen Hospice project in that city. During this time he developed a rare blood disorder and experienced a second NDE, and he also experienced his first shared-death experience when he, along with one of his dying hospice patients, floated together above their bodies and shared a knowing smile of understanding shortly before the patient's death.
At an Omega Institute event the next year, he heard Raymond Moody, who had named and been expanding on "near-death experiences" for some years, give a talk on "shared-death experiences," which Peters then realized he had experienced himself. He went on to attract patients interested in end-of-life therapy to his practice and to devote his life to collecting the stories of those who have had such spiritual experiences at their loved ones' deathbeds (or remotely as their loved ones died, often without their direct knowledge). Peters worried he was committing career suicide by forming a support group to look at the subject of life after death, but then, seeing how much relief he brought people able to finally talk about their experiences, he eventually formed his own research group, The Shared Crossing Project, dedicated to collecting shared-death experience stories.
Peters has now collected and cataloged hundreds of stories from people who shared their loved ones' NDEs. As their loved ones died, they saw their loved one's spirit leave their body... or experienced a vision in which they traveled with their loved one partway toward the light... or turned their loved one over to others who had already passed. The experiences are more varied than most NDEs though they share many common phenomena, with all including at least some of the following:
* a vision of the dying person (as approximately two-thirds of these SDEs are remote),
* heightened sense of awareness and slowed or stopped sense of time,
* a vision of other deceased relatives or pets,
* a vision of the spirit leaving the body,
* seeing a brilliant luminous light.
* some vision of heaven or a beautiful place,
* some obstacle barring them from going further with their dying loved one.
This book will be a comfort to those looking to be reassured that our spirits go on after our bodies expire, but for those looking for scientific support for such hopes, there is little here to carry them beyond the anecdotal. Still, you have to ask yourself, why would this man make up hundreds of stories sharing a common theme if they hadn't actually been told to him (or in a few cases experienced by him directly)? To my mind, these shared experiences provide lovely support for our best hopes of an afterlife. Or, to quote one of the people whose stories are shared in the book, "Life has not been easy since [my loved one died]. But I [now] know the truth, that there’s more, that
we all die, and that this will be gone, and that there’s something a lot deeper." Even if you haven't had such an experience yourself, reading all of these experiences gathered together in one book may help you gain the faith of someone who has.
I thank Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for providing me with an advance-reader copy of the ebook version of this book for my review.
As a 17-year-old, carefree youth, the author had a ski accident that nearly paralyzed him. While lying unconscious on a mountainside in Lake Tahoe, Peters experienced a near-death, out-of-body experience that he discussed with no one, but that changed the course of his life. During this NDE, he felt aware that every moment, every word we say, and every act in which we participate, matters greatly -- and was horrified to realize that he had wasted his life. He begged God for another chance, which he was granted. Peters went on to graduate from Berkeley, study theology as a graduate student, work as a Jesuit volunteer in impoverished countries around the world, work with dying AIDS patients in San Francisco, and then to join the Zen Hospice project in that city. During this time he developed a rare blood disorder and experienced a second NDE, and he also experienced his first shared-death experience when he, along with one of his dying hospice patients, floated together above their bodies and shared a knowing smile of understanding shortly before the patient's death.
At an Omega Institute event the next year, he heard Raymond Moody, who had named and been expanding on "near-death experiences" for some years, give a talk on "shared-death experiences," which Peters then realized he had experienced himself. He went on to attract patients interested in end-of-life therapy to his practice and to devote his life to collecting the stories of those who have had such spiritual experiences at their loved ones' deathbeds (or remotely as their loved ones died, often without their direct knowledge). Peters worried he was committing career suicide by forming a support group to look at the subject of life after death, but then, seeing how much relief he brought people able to finally talk about their experiences, he eventually formed his own research group, The Shared Crossing Project, dedicated to collecting shared-death experience stories.
Peters has now collected and cataloged hundreds of stories from people who shared their loved ones' NDEs. As their loved ones died, they saw their loved one's spirit leave their body... or experienced a vision in which they traveled with their loved one partway toward the light... or turned their loved one over to others who had already passed. The experiences are more varied than most NDEs though they share many common phenomena, with all including at least some of the following:
* a vision of the dying person (as approximately two-thirds of these SDEs are remote),
* heightened sense of awareness and slowed or stopped sense of time,
* a vision of other deceased relatives or pets,
* a vision of the spirit leaving the body,
* seeing a brilliant luminous light.
* some vision of heaven or a beautiful place,
* some obstacle barring them from going further with their dying loved one.
This book will be a comfort to those looking to be reassured that our spirits go on after our bodies expire, but for those looking for scientific support for such hopes, there is little here to carry them beyond the anecdotal. Still, you have to ask yourself, why would this man make up hundreds of stories sharing a common theme if they hadn't actually been told to him (or in a few cases experienced by him directly)? To my mind, these shared experiences provide lovely support for our best hopes of an afterlife. Or, to quote one of the people whose stories are shared in the book, "Life has not been easy since [my loved one died]. But I [now] know the truth, that there’s more, that
we all die, and that this will be gone, and that there’s something a lot deeper." Even if you haven't had such an experience yourself, reading all of these experiences gathered together in one book may help you gain the faith of someone who has.
I thank Netgalley and Simon and Schuster for providing me with an advance-reader copy of the ebook version of this book for my review.
November 8, 2021
This intriguing title reflects a fascinating exploration of what is termed “Shared Death Experiences” (SDEs). This is not a book for everyone – it requires a certain level of openness to phenomenon beyond what our physical senses define as reality. Most of those who have had such experiences categorize themselves as “spiritual,” not religious.
The author is a practicing psychotherapist who founded the Shared Crossing Project “…to raise awareness and educate people about the profound and healing experiences available to the dying and their loved ones at the end of life.” This book is a compilation of his research findings – the defining features of SDEs – as well as a wealth of stories illustration his findings.
Death and dying is a topic that engenders mild to severe discomfort for most people in our culture. Even among the medical community, this natural part of the life cycle is not easily embraced. While gains have been made in recognizing certain characteristics of the dying process through individuals who have shared their near death experiences (NDE), little attention has been given to family, friends and caregivers who have shared the death process with another. Indeed, these experiences are so far outside the “norm,” that people have been reluctant to share what they have seen, heard, felt or sensed either at the bedside or remotely. Overall these experiences have provided comfort and often an abiding sense of peace to those who have had them. They reported less fear regarding death and the dying process, a lessening or even elimination of grief and a conviction in a benevolent post-death existence. Very few people felt their SDE was a negative experience; when this occurred they were associated with being dismissed or scorned by others when the experience was shared.
The research reflected in this book began in 2013, but the phenomenon was first reported in 1926! Data was collected through both written reports and interviews. The challenges of gaining recognition for and acceptance of such personal and, what are considered at this time, extraordinary experiences are many. This is very “soft” science and subject to much speculation. As more data comes to light, perhaps more people will be freer to not only witness, but also participate in the dying process with another. Death may always be a mystery, but it may increasingly become an interpersonal experience rather than a solitary event.
The book is divided into thirteen chapters focusing on many aspects of SDEs: glimpsing Heaven; moving into the Light; receiving comfort; becoming a guide; sensing angels; sharing the SDE with others; and preparing for death. I found it helpful to read a chapter or two at a time and then to reflect on the content before re-engaging with the book. The text is clear and well-organized, unfolding smoothly from chapter to chapter. The Appendices provide helpful information for readers who want to pursue the topic in more depth.
My thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
The author is a practicing psychotherapist who founded the Shared Crossing Project “…to raise awareness and educate people about the profound and healing experiences available to the dying and their loved ones at the end of life.” This book is a compilation of his research findings – the defining features of SDEs – as well as a wealth of stories illustration his findings.
Death and dying is a topic that engenders mild to severe discomfort for most people in our culture. Even among the medical community, this natural part of the life cycle is not easily embraced. While gains have been made in recognizing certain characteristics of the dying process through individuals who have shared their near death experiences (NDE), little attention has been given to family, friends and caregivers who have shared the death process with another. Indeed, these experiences are so far outside the “norm,” that people have been reluctant to share what they have seen, heard, felt or sensed either at the bedside or remotely. Overall these experiences have provided comfort and often an abiding sense of peace to those who have had them. They reported less fear regarding death and the dying process, a lessening or even elimination of grief and a conviction in a benevolent post-death existence. Very few people felt their SDE was a negative experience; when this occurred they were associated with being dismissed or scorned by others when the experience was shared.
The research reflected in this book began in 2013, but the phenomenon was first reported in 1926! Data was collected through both written reports and interviews. The challenges of gaining recognition for and acceptance of such personal and, what are considered at this time, extraordinary experiences are many. This is very “soft” science and subject to much speculation. As more data comes to light, perhaps more people will be freer to not only witness, but also participate in the dying process with another. Death may always be a mystery, but it may increasingly become an interpersonal experience rather than a solitary event.
The book is divided into thirteen chapters focusing on many aspects of SDEs: glimpsing Heaven; moving into the Light; receiving comfort; becoming a guide; sensing angels; sharing the SDE with others; and preparing for death. I found it helpful to read a chapter or two at a time and then to reflect on the content before re-engaging with the book. The text is clear and well-organized, unfolding smoothly from chapter to chapter. The Appendices provide helpful information for readers who want to pursue the topic in more depth.
My thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
February 13, 2022
It was only a few months after my mother died in 2014 that I came across William Peters work. I received an email from William about his Life Beyond Death classes and Shared Crossing Project. (We live in the same city.) After a conversation with William, I signed up. For three years, I was involved with William's work. His workshops and findings completely changed my life.
William put into context my many experiences I had throughout my life, including a profound pre-death dream from my father in 2008 where he explained to me that he was leaving and an experience of watching my mom float out of her body before she died.
Without William's work, I'm not sure how I would have made sense out of either experience.
I was so excited to hear that William was writing a book and was thrilled to purchase it and read it. The stories are gripping. I cried during one story as it very much resonated with my experience. It was exciting to hear what others had to say and I found William's categories of Shared Death Experiences to be a useful framework for understanding SDE's. I also appreciate William's telling of his own experience with his father's death. It is always moving when a writer shares his/her personal, vulnerable experience.
I am grateful that William has expanded on afterlife and Raymond Moody's impressive work re: near death experiences (NDE's). The courage of William Peters, Raymond Moody and Eben Alexander (Proof of Heaven) has helped many people, including me, understand our experiences and not feel so alone with them.
William put into context my many experiences I had throughout my life, including a profound pre-death dream from my father in 2008 where he explained to me that he was leaving and an experience of watching my mom float out of her body before she died.
Without William's work, I'm not sure how I would have made sense out of either experience.
I was so excited to hear that William was writing a book and was thrilled to purchase it and read it. The stories are gripping. I cried during one story as it very much resonated with my experience. It was exciting to hear what others had to say and I found William's categories of Shared Death Experiences to be a useful framework for understanding SDE's. I also appreciate William's telling of his own experience with his father's death. It is always moving when a writer shares his/her personal, vulnerable experience.
I am grateful that William has expanded on afterlife and Raymond Moody's impressive work re: near death experiences (NDE's). The courage of William Peters, Raymond Moody and Eben Alexander (Proof of Heaven) has helped many people, including me, understand our experiences and not feel so alone with them.
February 6, 2022
Heartwarming and Intriguing
In his book, At Heaven's Door end of life therapist William J. Peters shares his experiences and examination of SDE, shared death experiences.
As an end-of-life therapist working at a hospice center, he had his own shared death experience while interacting with a patient. He was perplexed and stunned. He began seeking out other people who encountered similar experiences.
Within this book is a heartfelt collection of his inquiries, research, and examination. Meeting people worldwide and finding out shared death experiences isn't as uncommon as we may think.
Mr. Peters is the founder of the Shared Crossing Project. He is highly thought of as the leading expert in shared death experiences.
I favorably recommend this book. What is a shared death experience? Who has them? Have you had one? Come along in Mr. Peter's journey to find out more about this extraordinary phenomenon.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Net Galley and Simon & Schuster Publishing for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.
Author: William J. Peters
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Number of pages: 256
ISBN# 9781982150426
In his book, At Heaven's Door end of life therapist William J. Peters shares his experiences and examination of SDE, shared death experiences.
As an end-of-life therapist working at a hospice center, he had his own shared death experience while interacting with a patient. He was perplexed and stunned. He began seeking out other people who encountered similar experiences.
Within this book is a heartfelt collection of his inquiries, research, and examination. Meeting people worldwide and finding out shared death experiences isn't as uncommon as we may think.
Mr. Peters is the founder of the Shared Crossing Project. He is highly thought of as the leading expert in shared death experiences.
I favorably recommend this book. What is a shared death experience? Who has them? Have you had one? Come along in Mr. Peter's journey to find out more about this extraordinary phenomenon.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Net Galley and Simon & Schuster Publishing for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.
Author: William J. Peters
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Number of pages: 256
ISBN# 9781982150426
February 13, 2022
Little has been written about Shared Death Experiences (SDE's) although I think it's more widely experienced than Near Death Experiences (NDE's). I had a vivid dream following the sudden death of my father and I now wonder if it was an SDE. This book validates these profound and unusual experiences that many families and friends experience at the time of death or soon after. The bookends of the authors own experiences with both NDE and SDE offer a riveting illustration of the possibility for healing and hope at the end of life. The many stories shared from research participants and people who attended Peters Shared Crossing Workshops illustrate the variety of experiences. This is not just a book for grieving families. It is also an exceptional resource for anyone in the healthcare profession who deals with end of life. It is also a book for anyone who has feared death and is curious about spiritual experiences.
February 20, 2022
Profound book that was hard to put down. William Peters recounts one after another story of interviewees who experienced "shared death experiences." Then at the end of the book, he asks the reader if instead of "letting go" and "moving on" perhaps we are ready to accept a new way to approach grief, called Continuing Bonds that opens the possibility for the surviving loved one to be able to craft a new relationship with the departed. Of course, he points out that this concept is not new if we look to other cultures such as Mexicans who celebrate the Day of the Dead and the Chinese who make a trip to their ancestor's graves on Tomb Sweeping Day.
I love books that open my mind to another way of looking at things and even though I understand near death experiences and the possibility of an afterlife, this book takes it one step more with learning about the profound experience of sharing the moment with your loved one/friend who leaves the material realm.
I love books that open my mind to another way of looking at things and even though I understand near death experiences and the possibility of an afterlife, this book takes it one step more with learning about the profound experience of sharing the moment with your loved one/friend who leaves the material realm.
August 27, 2022
I first heard about this book when I saw the author speak at a summit by The Shift Network. As someone with two shared death experiences (SDEs) -- one with each parent -- I was grateful to realize that my experiences had an actual name, and that someone was researching them. I registered to interview (i.e., share my SDEs) with the author and his co-researcher, as they are still collecting these experiences. As one might expect, no two SDEs are alike. I did not have a shared death experience when my oldest sister died, which disappointed me. I was expecting one, since I had one with each of my parents' deaths. The book addresses this too...that we shouldn't be hurt if we don't have one. To have an SDE, one need not be in the room with the dying person, or even in the same state. The author's website has a number of interview clips with those who have shared their SDEs for his research.
February 16, 2022
Shared Death Experiences, or SDEs, are fascinating, instructive, and reassuring. This very comprehensive text shares many and varied such experiences and sheds light on the wisdom those witnessing these events have to convey to the rest of us. I found this book fascinating, and I'm even quoted near the end of the book from an interview the author conducted with me (Julie N., he calls me).
-Julie Saeger Nierenberg,
-Julie Saeger Nierenberg,
June 21, 2022
Shared journeys of Shared Death Experiences, SDE. Extremely interesting to read. My beloved grandfather died when I was only 18. He was on the operating table for his heart at John Hopkins in Baltimore and I was a student at the Art Institute in Pittsburgh. I was walking back to Dusquense University, where the AIP students were housed. To this day, I remember being overcome by dread about halfway back to the campus and had to stop. Later that evening I was contacted by my family that Pap had passed.
November 29, 2021
I read this book in one setting. The research and time that was taken to put this book in action was time and effort.
Death and what lies beyond is something I think we all at one time or another think about.
Fear of the unknown and what happens to our loved ones as they transition is always in my mind.
This book not only eases some of those fears but brings perspective to the fear of dying alone.
I recommend this book and believe many will find it a very interesting read.
Death and what lies beyond is something I think we all at one time or another think about.
Fear of the unknown and what happens to our loved ones as they transition is always in my mind.
This book not only eases some of those fears but brings perspective to the fear of dying alone.
I recommend this book and believe many will find it a very interesting read.
February 15, 2022
William J Peters has given his readers a treasure of a book in At Heaven's Door. With personal stories and research, Peters delves into the ways the living can journey with the dying into the afterlife. For those of us who have experienced loss, this book will bring some sadness, healing, comfort, confirmation, hope, and joy as you read the stories. I hope Peters writes another book as he hears and experiences more stories like these he included in his book. Outstanding read!
February 22, 2022
At Heaven's Door provides a framework for understanding the profound transcendental experiences that caregivers and friends have when a loved one is dying. These experiences are common, but rarely discussed. Peters' book gives us a solid, well-researched picture of what happens and what it could mean. This will change the conversation about afterlife phenomena and bring great comfort to dying people and their families.
March 14, 2022
I've read many books about near-death experiences, but this is the first book I've read about accompanying a person during his/her final moments. Through one story after another, Peters shares the experiences of loved ones who, in one way or another, touched into the death experience. It was a quiet and spiritual read, one that will linger with me for some time. I highly recommend this book to those who have a loved one nearing the end of their life.
March 15, 2022
This is a book that describes personal experiences that some experience when they lose a loved one. It is like a near death experience except that the person experiencing it is not the one who has almost died. It is uplifting that some people are able to experience being close to someone who is dying/died through having a sense of their presence or others that accompany their loved one on to the next phase.
July 23, 2022
A fascinating exploration of shared-death experiences written by someone reputable. William Peters has a degree from Harvard Divinity School, if I remember correctly. He and his team conducted hundred of interviews with people who reported phenomena from knowing their loved one died even though they were hundreds of miles away, to accompanying their loved one up into the light where deceased relatives were preparing to welcome the dying individual.
April 5, 2022
Thought-provoking and illuminating. Ever since I was a kid, I've been fascinated by near death stories, and these shared experiences were as gripping and reassuring as the personal stories. This book left me thinking long after I finished.
April 19, 2022
A Beautiful Gift
This collection of stories and experiences is so helpful in understanding that death is a transition.
This is a gift from the author and contributors.
Thanks you.
This collection of stories and experiences is so helpful in understanding that death is a transition.
This is a gift from the author and contributors.
Thanks you.
October 23, 2022
If you're interested in learning more about Shared Death Experiences, this is the book for you. Some of the stories are too emotional, but they get the point across.
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