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How to Win The Bachelor: The Secret to Finding Love and Fame on America's Favorite Reality Show
Perfect for fans of Bachelor Nation and Seinfeldia , an illuminating deep dive into the most successful reality TV franchise of all time— The Bachelor .
Since its premiere in 2002, ABC’s The Bachelor has become a staple of American television. Now, discover the fascinating history of the show, uncover the ins and outs of the phenomenon that has become Bachelor Nation, and take a deeper look at what separates the winners from the losers.
From how best to exit the limo on Night One, to strategies for making a run for the all-important First Impression Rose, to how to avoid being labeled a villain, this clear-eyed guide illustrates the rules and strategies any would-be contestant should know.
The ultimate must-read for every fan, How to Win the Bachelor gives you an inside look at the franchise where The Rose holds all the power.
Since its premiere in 2002, ABC’s The Bachelor has become a staple of American television. Now, discover the fascinating history of the show, uncover the ins and outs of the phenomenon that has become Bachelor Nation, and take a deeper look at what separates the winners from the losers.
From how best to exit the limo on Night One, to strategies for making a run for the all-important First Impression Rose, to how to avoid being labeled a villain, this clear-eyed guide illustrates the rules and strategies any would-be contestant should know.
The ultimate must-read for every fan, How to Win the Bachelor gives you an inside look at the franchise where The Rose holds all the power.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 18, 2022
182 people are currently reading
2793 people want to read
About the author
Chad Kultgen
14 books395 followersAfter two months in his birthplace Spokane, WA Chad Kultgen spent the majority of his life in a suburb of Dallas, TX called Lewisville. After high school, he turned down a full ride baseball scholarship to Trinity University in San Antonio, TX to pursue writing. He moved to Los Angeles, CA where he joined the likes of George Lucas, Robert Zemekis, and Ron Howard as a graduate of the prestigious School Of Cinema/Television at the University of Southern California.
His first job was writing for one of the most widely circulated trade magazines in the music industry, HITS. After two years of being entrenched with rock-stars and their entourages, Chad moved on to become a staff writer for one of American Media's most beloved supermarket tabloids. He created stories about flesh eating zombies, time-traveling stock traders, and
sandwich making house cats for the magazine that gave birth to Batboy, THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS.
Chad's next endeavor found him selling his first TV show to VH1. The reality show POSERS featured Chad himself along with two of his real life friends posing as various unrecognizable celebrities to get behind Hollywood's velvet rope. VH1 made a pilot episode in which Chad posed as the bass player from the band Maroon 5 in order to infiltrate one of Hollywood's hottest and most exclusive nightclubs. Once inside he proceeded to drink free champagne and use his fake celebrity to escort five female stars of the adult entertainment industry back to his limo. Despite the success of the pilot internally, a perfectly timed regime change at VH1 left Chad with nothing but DVD of the night's events and the paragraph you just read for his troubles.
In addition to writing the pilot episode of The Average American Male, Chad's feature screenplay BURT DICKENSON: THE MOST POWERFUL MAGICIAN ON PLANET EARTH is currently in the process of being optioned by NEW LINE CINEMA.
His first job was writing for one of the most widely circulated trade magazines in the music industry, HITS. After two years of being entrenched with rock-stars and their entourages, Chad moved on to become a staff writer for one of American Media's most beloved supermarket tabloids. He created stories about flesh eating zombies, time-traveling stock traders, and
sandwich making house cats for the magazine that gave birth to Batboy, THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS.
Chad's next endeavor found him selling his first TV show to VH1. The reality show POSERS featured Chad himself along with two of his real life friends posing as various unrecognizable celebrities to get behind Hollywood's velvet rope. VH1 made a pilot episode in which Chad posed as the bass player from the band Maroon 5 in order to infiltrate one of Hollywood's hottest and most exclusive nightclubs. Once inside he proceeded to drink free champagne and use his fake celebrity to escort five female stars of the adult entertainment industry back to his limo. Despite the success of the pilot internally, a perfectly timed regime change at VH1 left Chad with nothing but DVD of the night's events and the paragraph you just read for his troubles.
In addition to writing the pilot episode of The Average American Male, Chad's feature screenplay BURT DICKENSON: THE MOST POWERFUL MAGICIAN ON PLANET EARTH is currently in the process of being optioned by NEW LINE CINEMA.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 319 reviews
May 11, 2025
My innocence as far as The Bachelor franchise goes was forever shattered after I came across Reality Steve recaps and spoilers for the show, which made the cynical gameplay and manipulation very obvious. And that’s what made it fun — because let’s face it, how stupid would it be to expect any love, let alone engagement, come from a reality TV show where a bunch of women (young, conventionally pretty) compete to make one guy (young but slightly older than the women, conventionally handsome) propose to one of them after what amounts to slightly more than a few hours of superficial acquaintance?
But as a cutthroat competitive sport with its own rules and language — well, it totally works. (And the real prize now, of course, is being able to work a bogus job of an “influencer”, milking your 15 minutes of F-list fame for all they are worth).
Unlike the authors of this book who apparently rewatched all the seasons of the show at 2x speed, my familiarity comes from about 2015 on, from little bits in the background of evening reading aided with occasional visits to Reality Steve snarky recaps early on, but even with that limited exposure most things mentioned in the book made perfect sense and nudged my recollection just enough to be enjoyable.
I am not quite sure what I was expecting when I picked up this book in the library, but by the end I realized that I don’t care much for the strategy it takes to win the show, and that when it comes to picking it apart and breaking it down to moves and strategies and battle tactics I’m not enough of a hardcore fan, and fascination can eventually turn into eye glazing over the pages and dozing off a few times. I think my attention span is better suited to snarky recaps instead.
My takeaway from this book really is that I may just put in some effort to locate the first season or two of the show, when the game was more earnest and there weren’t yet ironclad rules for cutthroat reality show dating game. But if not, it may just remain my background noise when I read, and I’m alright with that.
(And I really need to start wondering exactly what makes my brain go rogue and command my hands to pick up books like this off the library shelf).
3 stars.
——————
Also posted on my blog.
But as a cutthroat competitive sport with its own rules and language — well, it totally works. (And the real prize now, of course, is being able to work a bogus job of an “influencer”, milking your 15 minutes of F-list fame for all they are worth).
“The entire game’s foundation consists of a conceit that maintains the illusion that The Bachelor is not a game but instead a viable and sincere effort to help bring two people together to find love everlasting.”
Unlike the authors of this book who apparently rewatched all the seasons of the show at 2x speed, my familiarity comes from about 2015 on, from little bits in the background of evening reading aided with occasional visits to Reality Steve snarky recaps early on, but even with that limited exposure most things mentioned in the book made perfect sense and nudged my recollection just enough to be enjoyable.
The description of “the HuJu” made me actually laugh — the Hug Jump “wherein a player runs at the Bachelor, leaps into his arms, and wraps her legs around him—is a staple of every modern season.” That’s some serious acrobatic skill that I’m surprised has not yer resulted in injuries.
I am not quite sure what I was expecting when I picked up this book in the library, but by the end I realized that I don’t care much for the strategy it takes to win the show, and that when it comes to picking it apart and breaking it down to moves and strategies and battle tactics I’m not enough of a hardcore fan, and fascination can eventually turn into eye glazing over the pages and dozing off a few times. I think my attention span is better suited to snarky recaps instead.
“The “right reasons” demand that each player conveys she is only participating in the game to find love, that the IG followers, the trips, the prizes, the celebrity, and all material gain associated with an appearance in the game remain circumstantial.”
My takeaway from this book really is that I may just put in some effort to locate the first season or two of the show, when the game was more earnest and there weren’t yet ironclad rules for cutthroat reality show dating game. But if not, it may just remain my background noise when I read, and I’m alright with that.
(And I really need to start wondering exactly what makes my brain go rogue and command my hands to pick up books like this off the library shelf).
3 stars.
——————
Also posted on my blog.
January 19, 2022
If you consider yourself to be a fan of the Bachelor, reality TV, or even pop culture in general, this book is a must-read. You will learn about the historical development of the Bachelor which has lead to the way it’s structured today. Any chance you ever had of casually watching the Bachelor is ruined because after you read this book you will be obsessively analyzing each episode for strategy, plays and errors made by the players of the game. This is the first book that seriously considers the Bachelor for what it is- America’s fastest growing professional sport. 10/10.
January 28, 2022
I had never watched an episode of The Bachelor until the pandemic. Since night one of Season 25, starring Matt James, I have not missed a single episode of the franchise including Bachelor in Paradise and The Bachelorette. I developed a somewhat healthy addiction to the escapism of this modern American staple in pop culture. However, it wasn’t until the summer of 2021, mid Paradise, that I was introduced to the podcast Game of Roses. It is safe to say I now have a deeply unhealthy OBSESSION with this game. Because I discovered that it is, in fact, a game, not a dating show.
This book, written by the hosts of GOR, breaks down every single element of the sport, Seasons 1-25. It is chock full of historical context, it is extremely well researched and it offers HEAPS of data. I devoured it. Highly recommend to literally everyone. Please watch this game with me.
This book, written by the hosts of GOR, breaks down every single element of the sport, Seasons 1-25. It is chock full of historical context, it is extremely well researched and it offers HEAPS of data. I devoured it. Highly recommend to literally everyone. Please watch this game with me.
September 5, 2023
I’ve never seen a single episode of “The Bachelor.” In fact, when one of my friends tells me they watch the show, I retort with something along the lines of, “You know it’s all fabricated for the cameras, right?” (As you can tell, I’m *really* fun at parties.)
I now realize my perspective was all wrong. “The Bachelor” is *supposed* to be fabricated for the cameras. It is, after all, a competitive sport.
“How to Win the Bachelor” is sheer brilliance. By tracking gameplay metrics across 20+ years of production and presenting tried-and-true strategies guaranteed to secure airtime, Kultgen and Pace have the power to revolutionize the way We, The People watch not only “The Bachelor,” but reality television as we know it. Even as a non-viewer, I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
I now realize my perspective was all wrong. “The Bachelor” is *supposed* to be fabricated for the cameras. It is, after all, a competitive sport.
“How to Win the Bachelor” is sheer brilliance. By tracking gameplay metrics across 20+ years of production and presenting tried-and-true strategies guaranteed to secure airtime, Kultgen and Pace have the power to revolutionize the way We, The People watch not only “The Bachelor,” but reality television as we know it. Even as a non-viewer, I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
December 26, 2021
This book is easily the most comprehensive breakdown of the reality show "The Bachelor" to ever be published. Chad and Lizzy break down the show in impressive detail, while making the compelling argument that "The Bachelor" is actually the fastest-growing professional sport in the US. This book is essentially a how-to guide on how to successfully play the game if you are cast on the show, including strategies for preseason, in-game, and postseason play.
If you are not familiar with their podcast "Game of Roses," I would recommend that you start by reading "The Lexicon," which is located in the Appendix. This section explains the terms that they have coined to describe certain game elements and strategies. Next, read "The History of Our Beloved Game," also in the Appendix, which provides context for each season of the Bachelor that will be mentioned. I have been watching all Bachelor-franchise shows religiously since Kaitlyn Bristowe's season, but I had very little knowledge on the earlier seasons, especially those that are not available on any streaming services.
After reading these sections, you are ready for the hefty 12 chapters of gameplay explanation and strategy. Although these chapters are very detail-heavy, the authors punctuate their statistics with humorous examples from "hero players" that make the book entertaining and easy to read.
Thank you very much for providing me with an ARC of this book to review-- I loved reading it and will be purchasing the audiobook! I can't wait to hear this narrated by my favorite podcast hosts. Pleaseee make this a trilogy-- I need to read "How to Win the Bachelorette" & "How to Win BIP" asap!!!
If you are not familiar with their podcast "Game of Roses," I would recommend that you start by reading "The Lexicon," which is located in the Appendix. This section explains the terms that they have coined to describe certain game elements and strategies. Next, read "The History of Our Beloved Game," also in the Appendix, which provides context for each season of the Bachelor that will be mentioned. I have been watching all Bachelor-franchise shows religiously since Kaitlyn Bristowe's season, but I had very little knowledge on the earlier seasons, especially those that are not available on any streaming services.
After reading these sections, you are ready for the hefty 12 chapters of gameplay explanation and strategy. Although these chapters are very detail-heavy, the authors punctuate their statistics with humorous examples from "hero players" that make the book entertaining and easy to read.
Thank you very much for providing me with an ARC of this book to review-- I loved reading it and will be purchasing the audiobook! I can't wait to hear this narrated by my favorite podcast hosts. Pleaseee make this a trilogy-- I need to read "How to Win the Bachelorette" & "How to Win BIP" asap!!!
May 13, 2022
This book has a great premise and thorough research, but it barely touched on the Big Picture and left me unsatisfied by its weak writing.
This book could have been The Bachelor Moneyball, or The Bachelor's full pop sociology treatment. I wanted to get into questions like:
- Why would one want to win The Bachelor or become The Bachelorette?
- What is the role of The Bachelor himself in The Bachelor show?
- What do the values espoused by The Bachelor franchise say about American pop culture?
The authors reference their "Hyperbinge" repeatedly, but this is a basic prerequisite of the book. I wish that they had cut out half of the basic stat-keeping (what percentage of dates include riding a horse?) in favor of sociological analysis.
As-is, this is a cut-and-dry handbook. I would recommend reading it if you have been cast to go on The Bachelor in the next six months, but if not I would suggest you calibrate your expectations.
This book could have been The Bachelor Moneyball, or The Bachelor's full pop sociology treatment. I wanted to get into questions like:
- Why would one want to win The Bachelor or become The Bachelorette?
- What is the role of The Bachelor himself in The Bachelor show?
- What do the values espoused by The Bachelor franchise say about American pop culture?
The authors reference their "Hyperbinge" repeatedly, but this is a basic prerequisite of the book. I wish that they had cut out half of the basic stat-keeping (what percentage of dates include riding a horse?) in favor of sociological analysis.
As-is, this is a cut-and-dry handbook. I would recommend reading it if you have been cast to go on The Bachelor in the next six months, but if not I would suggest you calibrate your expectations.
January 28, 2022
Welcome to the pit. I read this in a COVID-induced haze and was not disappointed
January 14, 2022
This is the most comprehensive analysis of The Bachelor you will ever encounter. From examining the success rate of First Impression Rose recipients to the legacy of Instagram influencing to the racist past of the franchise, the authors bring us along on their Hyperbinge and subsequent breakdown of 25 Bachelor seasons. Formatted as a guidebook for aspiring contestants — referred to as “players” of “our beloved game” — this was also an interesting read as someone fascinated by the cultural implications of this reality television giant. Really horrifyingly thorough; I never want to go on that show.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
February 14, 2022
I went to the library the other day trying to pick out some new books to start off my 2022 after not reading a single thing so far and for some reason, this book ended up with this in my hands, despite myself not being a fan of the show by any means. And I was kind of surprised that I enjoyed it!
It was interesting to see the breakdown of the show + all its elements across history and it helped to have watched one season so that I *kind of* knew a shred of what the authors were discussing.
It should be a fun read for fans of the series or anyone curious about it :)
It was interesting to see the breakdown of the show + all its elements across history and it helped to have watched one season so that I *kind of* knew a shred of what the authors were discussing.
It should be a fun read for fans of the series or anyone curious about it :)
February 4, 2022
This was such a fun deep dive into the Bachelor world. Clearly if I was ever a contestant on the show, I'd be accused of being there for the wrong reasons since I'd be following the instructions laid out in this book to the letter. As a newer viewer of the show, this was such a great crash course on the franchise as a whole and how it evolved. Any fan of the Bachelor needs to read this.
February 22, 2022
The book is true to its title. I was expecting something more like the podcast, but this book literally tells you how to win. Fun, but I don’t want to win, just read.
January 22, 2025
Did this book actively make me a worse person? Perhaps. But I can't deny it wad a fun read.
January 26, 2022
They did it, folks! As a fan of the Game of Roses podcast, it was striking to read their analysis of and step-by-step strategies for success on The Bachelor without the trappings of GoR.
I expected the book to take more after the podcast: relying on their humor, the interplay of their personalities, the ESPN-esque structure, and the manic energy of their weekly show. But no — this truly is a manual on how the game works, and how to turn it to your advantage. As much as I enjoy their discussion of favorite players or seasons, the book’s focus is a strong point in its favor. Reading their steps for a perfect one-on-one date, for example, I was struck by the simplicity, clarity, and accuracy of their analysis.
Having watched the show a lot (obviously not as much as them)…their identification of the show’s structure and strategies for execution sure seem right!
The final chapter of the book, discussing the audience’s complicity in the patriarchal, racist, misogynistic, structure and underpinnings of the book is a necessary coda. As a fan of something, especially something large, its necessary to reckon with its cultural impact and the message it sends… and for better or for worse, nothing made me understand American culture more than starting to watch the Bachelor.
If you’re at all interested in The Bachelor, or critical analysis of reality TV, or if you like when things are quantified or gamified, give this book a read. And if you know anyone who might go on the show, PLEASE have them read this.
I expected the book to take more after the podcast: relying on their humor, the interplay of their personalities, the ESPN-esque structure, and the manic energy of their weekly show. But no — this truly is a manual on how the game works, and how to turn it to your advantage. As much as I enjoy their discussion of favorite players or seasons, the book’s focus is a strong point in its favor. Reading their steps for a perfect one-on-one date, for example, I was struck by the simplicity, clarity, and accuracy of their analysis.
Having watched the show a lot (obviously not as much as them)…their identification of the show’s structure and strategies for execution sure seem right!
The final chapter of the book, discussing the audience’s complicity in the patriarchal, racist, misogynistic, structure and underpinnings of the book is a necessary coda. As a fan of something, especially something large, its necessary to reckon with its cultural impact and the message it sends… and for better or for worse, nothing made me understand American culture more than starting to watch the Bachelor.
If you’re at all interested in The Bachelor, or critical analysis of reality TV, or if you like when things are quantified or gamified, give this book a read. And if you know anyone who might go on the show, PLEASE have them read this.
May 21, 2022
So boring, I literally dreading trying to finish it. And this is coming from a bachelor super fan. Nothing remotely interesting or new here.
February 6, 2022
"The only way out is through."
Chad Kultgen and Lizzie Pace, hosts of the Game of Roses podcast, have revolutionized the way I think about the Bachelor and Bachelor franchise as a whole (the Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, etc.). If you're "in the pit," then you know what the opening quote means. If you're not in the pit (& you'd know), you should read this book and listen to their podcast.
I used to watch the Bachelor with naivety, but this podcast and book have showed me that the Bachelor is nothing more than a game where there really is a chance to find love. In order to make a deep run and find love, you have to know how to play the game. Although I do not plan to go on the show, this book serves as a comprehensive history of the show thanks to the "Hyperbinge," and it contains names and explanations for different strategies and plays you can think about when watching the show. I give this book 5 stars because it was informative, and I truly believe that this book and its contents are the future of the Bachelor.
Chad Kultgen and Lizzie Pace, hosts of the Game of Roses podcast, have revolutionized the way I think about the Bachelor and Bachelor franchise as a whole (the Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, etc.). If you're "in the pit," then you know what the opening quote means. If you're not in the pit (& you'd know), you should read this book and listen to their podcast.
I used to watch the Bachelor with naivety, but this podcast and book have showed me that the Bachelor is nothing more than a game where there really is a chance to find love. In order to make a deep run and find love, you have to know how to play the game. Although I do not plan to go on the show, this book serves as a comprehensive history of the show thanks to the "Hyperbinge," and it contains names and explanations for different strategies and plays you can think about when watching the show. I give this book 5 stars because it was informative, and I truly believe that this book and its contents are the future of the Bachelor.
March 8, 2022
This book was sort of interesting, but could have been so much better. I think the main interesting thing for me was seeing how the Bachelor has changed over the years since I only started watching several years ago. And in some ways I have found myself watching a little differently, but mostly just in that it's given me a little more language to talk about it.
But the language... It is really hard to follow their bachelor lexicon. I've listened to a couple episodes of their podcast so have picked up on some of their special vocabulary, but I think anyone who has never heard their podcast would be so lost. There was even a glossary in the back and there were several times I referred to it and still struggled to figure out what an acronym meant.
My major complaint though is that they jump into talking about how to get onto the bachelor and how to win it with zero leading discussion about who the show casts. There is little upfront discussion about the fact that women need to be young and thin and conventionally beautiful and any other things that would be required to even be given a second glance by producers. There was a chapter tacked on at the end that starts off talking about racism, sizeism, ableism, ageism, and then really just talks about race and ignores the other topics and doesn't even mention colorism. No one is going to be able to win at this game without being thin, fair, young, able-bodied.
I'm very skeptical of their analysis about what it takes to win. They throw out a lot of statistics, but these feel very meaningless. They mention as an afterthought that there is likely a large margin of error in their data, and that margin of error has to be huge. Also I'm not sure it's relevant to include in your statistics the metrics from early seasons since the show has changed so much.
I'd say skim this one, or if somehow you've never thought cynically about the bachelor, do read it and think differently about the show. But as someone who watches this show just to tear it apart, I don't feel like I gained much insight. There is much better bachelor content out there.
But the language... It is really hard to follow their bachelor lexicon. I've listened to a couple episodes of their podcast so have picked up on some of their special vocabulary, but I think anyone who has never heard their podcast would be so lost. There was even a glossary in the back and there were several times I referred to it and still struggled to figure out what an acronym meant.
My major complaint though is that they jump into talking about how to get onto the bachelor and how to win it with zero leading discussion about who the show casts. There is little upfront discussion about the fact that women need to be young and thin and conventionally beautiful and any other things that would be required to even be given a second glance by producers. There was a chapter tacked on at the end that starts off talking about racism, sizeism, ableism, ageism, and then really just talks about race and ignores the other topics and doesn't even mention colorism. No one is going to be able to win at this game without being thin, fair, young, able-bodied.
I'm very skeptical of their analysis about what it takes to win. They throw out a lot of statistics, but these feel very meaningless. They mention as an afterthought that there is likely a large margin of error in their data, and that margin of error has to be huge. Also I'm not sure it's relevant to include in your statistics the metrics from early seasons since the show has changed so much.
I'd say skim this one, or if somehow you've never thought cynically about the bachelor, do read it and think differently about the show. But as someone who watches this show just to tear it apart, I don't feel like I gained much insight. There is much better bachelor content out there.
August 21, 2022
if you're like me (observes bachelor night religiously, reads the bachelor subreddit like the morning news, closely tracks bachelordata's analysis of each episode), then how to win the bachelor is a must-read.
kultgen and pace, hosts of the excellent podcast game of roses, watched every single episode of the bachelor, closely tracked data points while doing it, and analyzed each season in this meticulously-researched breakdown of the show that launched a juggernaut franchise. kultgen and pace approach the show as if it's a professional sport, and analyze it as sports commentators would, and the result is fascinating and highly entertaining. they offer insight on everything from a contestant's odds of winning the game based on the type of limo entrance they choose to the ideal place to finish in for a contestant who wants to become the next bachelorette.
no one knows the game like these two do, and this is a great read for any devoted fans of bachelor nation, whether or not you would ever go on the show (despite what the title might indicate). that being said, if you're only a casual viewer or don't really care about the data that comes from the show—either of which are very understandable! and probably healthy!—then this might be a little too much for you.
kultgen and pace, hosts of the excellent podcast game of roses, watched every single episode of the bachelor, closely tracked data points while doing it, and analyzed each season in this meticulously-researched breakdown of the show that launched a juggernaut franchise. kultgen and pace approach the show as if it's a professional sport, and analyze it as sports commentators would, and the result is fascinating and highly entertaining. they offer insight on everything from a contestant's odds of winning the game based on the type of limo entrance they choose to the ideal place to finish in for a contestant who wants to become the next bachelorette.
no one knows the game like these two do, and this is a great read for any devoted fans of bachelor nation, whether or not you would ever go on the show (despite what the title might indicate). that being said, if you're only a casual viewer or don't really care about the data that comes from the show—either of which are very understandable! and probably healthy!—then this might be a little too much for you.
February 19, 2023
Okay. So I’m a bachelor fan. I have watched bachelor, bachelorette, and paradise - even though I’m slightly embarrassed to admit it. I wanted to read this book because I thought it was kinda funny, and as I was listening I realized without even knowing it - I’m a super fan. I knew WAY too many details already given in this book and I am questioning my life choices and intelligence at this point. It was exactly what the title said “how to win the bachelor” yet I found myself annoyed thinking “I’m not going on the bachelor!” So basically I give this book 4 stars because it is exactly what it says it is about and myself 2 stars as a human who chose to waste my time reading about the bachelor 😂
January 29, 2022
This is an absolute must-read for any fans of The Bachelor (and the authors’ podcast, Game of Roses is a must-listen). If you aren’t already fan of The Bachelor, I recommend reading this book and immediately watching the show. Loved this book’s structure and organization, and it’s FULL of good info on the show. Super super recommend!!
Read
February 3, 2022i loved this. it was so fun, and the authors are watching the bachelor like i like to watch the bachelor - as if it’s a game. this will definitely reframe and enhance my viewing experience of any bachelor franchise show and could possibly help me achieve my ultimate goal of going on dancing with the stars after a successful run as a player in our beloved game.
November 29, 2022
The amount of work that had to go into writing this is crazy!
March 7, 2022
This really impressed me with how in-depth it was. I'm glad there was discussion on the franchise's racist history. However, I would have liked to see the authors comment on how the show only casts skinny women.
January 17, 2025
A very fun satirical read for Bach fans!
December 10, 2025
~3.5 stars
This was fun I like data
This was fun I like data
January 20, 2022
Consider this my Scream From The Pit: I am not single, nor do I reside in the US, but I devoured this book as soon as I received it in the mail (thanks to a preordering mishap it came early!) and surely due to religiously listening to GoR's twice weekly podcast drops, I was so clearly able to hear it read in Clues and Pacecase's often gleeful voices. Audiobook listeners will be in for a treat.
Required reading for all Bachelor fans.
Required reading for all Bachelor fans.
July 27, 2023
Highly recommend! Anyone who has ever seen the Bachelor needs to read this.
April 17, 2023
This book really does make the case that „the Bachelor“ is a type of sport. A super quick, mindless read. I think this book would be boring for folks that watch the show religiously.
March 10, 2022
First off, I am shamelessly invested in this show. I take my schedule during the season seriously, which sometimes goes so far as to partake in media blackouts to avoid spoilers. I religiously listen to podcasts that cover the show, specifically Dave Neal, Bachelor Fantake, Nick Viall, and Roses and Rosé (RIP). My hope for this book was that I could be as entertained by it as I am by the show and it’s networks of fandom. Instead, I was as deeply disappointed as viewers are when they watch their favorite contestant step out of the limo first on finale night. As with the viewer, who is met with the deceit of knowing their favorite is not the final rose winner, I too, was met with deceit reading this book. I had to begrudgingly get through this book the way serious viewers get through night one antics, worried if I didn’t finish it I would miss something good. I am confused why it is so highly rated on Good Reads and hope that my review can better inform those wondering if they should pick it up - the answer is no!
Though the premise of the book that the Bachelor is a sport was interesting, it is not a fresh idea or anything most people haven’t deduced already. In the introduction, the players were broken down into different audiences, labels used throughout the book; the first audience (the Bachelor), the second audience (the female contestants), the third audience (the producers), and the fourth audience (the viewers). I would have preferred if they just called each group what they are, especially in later chapters when I kept forgetting who was who. They were playing a long game though in setting up all of the show elements as pieces of the sport.
The Little Bit of Good
In the first chapter, each section gave a short description of the elements of the show that could be enjoyed by nonviewers and viewers alike. There were some gems in the descriptions of the elements but for the most part if you watch the show these are redundant. The dramatic and embellished writing in the first chapter was fun and I wanted more lines like the one below:
“Over countless millennia of the evolution of human courtship, these botanical icons of love and devotion became the most common gift of romance in our society and they are the lifeblood of The Bachelor. They make up the in-game currency…”
Most of the first chapter was enjoyable to read, but I think the authors got carried away by the end of it and into the rest of the book. The result being that most of the book was superfluous.
The Tone
The authors’ voice was really awkward to me. It was really hard to tell if it was meant to be serious, satire, sarcastic, or mocking. The writers of this book host a podcast called, “Game of Roses” but I am not too familiar with it. Perhaps if you are an avid follower of the podcast, the tone might have been easier to decipher. From a literary perspective, it should be able to stand alone. There were lines like, “Tears often equate to screen time and can even become your main personality trait.” This has to be a joke, but it was hard to tell in the context of which it is written. The line below is an example that highlights why I found the tone to be so disingenuous, but unable to put a label on it:
“If a given episode isn’t about you, make sure you comment on the posts of whoever it is about on the Bachelor Instagram. Always insert yourself into whatever the main conversation is from week to week, especially if it’s not about you.”
The Content
The book is a culmination of the retelling of events you have probably already watched on TV and meaningless statistics derived from those events. The charts were somewhat informative and all of the statistics probably should’ve just gone in them for better organization. The statistics were not very impressive as they just tallied anytime something happened they wanted to measure. If you want statistics on the franchise that have value and important social commentary, follow Bachelor Data on Instagram. I think this book tried to steal their premise, but lacking expertise, made it way less interesting.
The book lacks any original ideas since the retelling of events/ scenes and stats take up all the space. Did I expect a critical analysis that was well articulated in a book about the Bachelor, from people who watched every episode back to back in a really short period of time? My answer is a firm, yes. There are a number of podcasts I follow that are well informed, critical, and thoughtful. If the book was formatted differently, it might have made for a good encyclopedia of Bachelor seasons. Instead, it was a wasted opportunity for the writers to combine their stats with the history of the show and make a book filled with meaningful analysis and commentary.
The Writing
The authors got overly excited and ran away with some ideas that didn’t come off well in the book. There is a whole section on what they name HUJU, the hug jump, notorious on one-on-ones in the franchise. Multiple pages are written to break down how to run, jump, and hug someone. Just one example of unnecessary things that took up too much space.
It is really rare that I complain about a book giving the reader too much credit, but this book really forgot what the average person will know with regards to the lineage of seasons and episodes. They often made references like, “...occurred in Season 17”, the name of the Bachelor would’ve been helpful. The “Bachelor Lexicon” also gave the reader too much responsibility to remember all of their made up acronyms, trying to make their lexicon more significant when it does not need to exist at all. Know your audience, I am reading a book about the Bachelor to be entertained, not to be flipping back and forth to a glossary of words that only exist in this book. More on that to follow.
It is hard to decide what was the worst thing about this book, but the use of made up acronyms might have been it. The goal of making a lexicon to abbreviate different events and ideas was excessive. Maybe it made sense during their viewing marathon, but as a reader it didn’t translate well. Here are some examples that had my head spinning because they were so awkward and forgettable; 4TRR, 4TWR, GTTC, HUJU, IFI, MOTF. They also took commonly used terms like two-on-one and changed them to 2O1. Bachelor Nation already has slang for those things, their lexicon was too forced.
The final chapter titled, Being Complicit, was meant to take a critical look at racism in the franchise and felt to me like lip-service. They open it up by saying,
“We’ve always had a complicated relationship with The Bachelor and we wanted to take one final chapter to address that before the end of the book because we have talked to plenty of other fans who have felt the same way.”
The tone is more somber, but I just didn’t buy it. It was more of the same from these authors - retelling and stats. There was little to no discussion on misogyny and sexism in the franchise, as they mentioned, would be discussed as well. At the end of it is one wishy-washy paragraph that talks about how the show needs to change. They are still going to watch it but only to hold it accountable and ensure the producers don’t use viewer cuts to behave worse than they do now. The whole section was anticlimactic considering it was just a retelling of producer manipulated racial plots and Rachel Lindsey and Matt James' seasons. It also recapped the fallout with Chris Harrison. There are intriguing race related statistics like screen time not included in the book. Telling people who watch the Bachelor that the producers are horrible and manipulative is not new. The authors should tell us how and why it is a problem, which can be effectively done using stats they are so fond of.
Overall
I gave this book two stars on account of being impressed by the sheer discipline of the authors watching every episode and making extensive notes (and stats!). The title is, “How to Win the Bachelor: The Secret to Finding Love and Fame on America’s Favorite Reality Show” and I guess they do that if you can determine what is sincere advice. There was too much content dedicated to stuff that no one will care about unless they are taking this book as genuine gospel for getting on the show and trying to win. I wouldn’t even recommend the book be used that way because of the tone discrepancies.
This book is a good example that just because you can watch every episode of the Bachelor and do simple math on a wide range of scenarios doesn't mean you should. As a nonfiction, it failed to meet any of the genre requirements; it didn't inform, explain, teach, or persuade.
As for the ending, which alluded to moving on to do the Bachelorette in the same vein, I will not be picking up that book. That is because I never want to read an entire chapter again that loops the words, “Then”, “And then” over and over to tell, verbatim, what happened on a TV show until I fall asleep and wake up with my beloved e-reader having fallen on the floor and my face fresh with couch impressions.
The book closes out one of the final chapters with this uninformed and abysmal quote:
“And in some ways we’ve seen firsthand how much more influential social media and reality TV are than traditional sports. We’ve never had a pro football player in the White House, but we have had a reality TV star who used twitter to win an election.”
Does this sound like people who even care about the events that they wrote about in the, “Being Complicit” Chapter?
Though the premise of the book that the Bachelor is a sport was interesting, it is not a fresh idea or anything most people haven’t deduced already. In the introduction, the players were broken down into different audiences, labels used throughout the book; the first audience (the Bachelor), the second audience (the female contestants), the third audience (the producers), and the fourth audience (the viewers). I would have preferred if they just called each group what they are, especially in later chapters when I kept forgetting who was who. They were playing a long game though in setting up all of the show elements as pieces of the sport.
The Little Bit of Good
In the first chapter, each section gave a short description of the elements of the show that could be enjoyed by nonviewers and viewers alike. There were some gems in the descriptions of the elements but for the most part if you watch the show these are redundant. The dramatic and embellished writing in the first chapter was fun and I wanted more lines like the one below:
“Over countless millennia of the evolution of human courtship, these botanical icons of love and devotion became the most common gift of romance in our society and they are the lifeblood of The Bachelor. They make up the in-game currency…”
Most of the first chapter was enjoyable to read, but I think the authors got carried away by the end of it and into the rest of the book. The result being that most of the book was superfluous.
The Tone
The authors’ voice was really awkward to me. It was really hard to tell if it was meant to be serious, satire, sarcastic, or mocking. The writers of this book host a podcast called, “Game of Roses” but I am not too familiar with it. Perhaps if you are an avid follower of the podcast, the tone might have been easier to decipher. From a literary perspective, it should be able to stand alone. There were lines like, “Tears often equate to screen time and can even become your main personality trait.” This has to be a joke, but it was hard to tell in the context of which it is written. The line below is an example that highlights why I found the tone to be so disingenuous, but unable to put a label on it:
“If a given episode isn’t about you, make sure you comment on the posts of whoever it is about on the Bachelor Instagram. Always insert yourself into whatever the main conversation is from week to week, especially if it’s not about you.”
The Content
The book is a culmination of the retelling of events you have probably already watched on TV and meaningless statistics derived from those events. The charts were somewhat informative and all of the statistics probably should’ve just gone in them for better organization. The statistics were not very impressive as they just tallied anytime something happened they wanted to measure. If you want statistics on the franchise that have value and important social commentary, follow Bachelor Data on Instagram. I think this book tried to steal their premise, but lacking expertise, made it way less interesting.
The book lacks any original ideas since the retelling of events/ scenes and stats take up all the space. Did I expect a critical analysis that was well articulated in a book about the Bachelor, from people who watched every episode back to back in a really short period of time? My answer is a firm, yes. There are a number of podcasts I follow that are well informed, critical, and thoughtful. If the book was formatted differently, it might have made for a good encyclopedia of Bachelor seasons. Instead, it was a wasted opportunity for the writers to combine their stats with the history of the show and make a book filled with meaningful analysis and commentary.
The Writing
The authors got overly excited and ran away with some ideas that didn’t come off well in the book. There is a whole section on what they name HUJU, the hug jump, notorious on one-on-ones in the franchise. Multiple pages are written to break down how to run, jump, and hug someone. Just one example of unnecessary things that took up too much space.
It is really rare that I complain about a book giving the reader too much credit, but this book really forgot what the average person will know with regards to the lineage of seasons and episodes. They often made references like, “...occurred in Season 17”, the name of the Bachelor would’ve been helpful. The “Bachelor Lexicon” also gave the reader too much responsibility to remember all of their made up acronyms, trying to make their lexicon more significant when it does not need to exist at all. Know your audience, I am reading a book about the Bachelor to be entertained, not to be flipping back and forth to a glossary of words that only exist in this book. More on that to follow.
It is hard to decide what was the worst thing about this book, but the use of made up acronyms might have been it. The goal of making a lexicon to abbreviate different events and ideas was excessive. Maybe it made sense during their viewing marathon, but as a reader it didn’t translate well. Here are some examples that had my head spinning because they were so awkward and forgettable; 4TRR, 4TWR, GTTC, HUJU, IFI, MOTF. They also took commonly used terms like two-on-one and changed them to 2O1. Bachelor Nation already has slang for those things, their lexicon was too forced.
The final chapter titled, Being Complicit, was meant to take a critical look at racism in the franchise and felt to me like lip-service. They open it up by saying,
“We’ve always had a complicated relationship with The Bachelor and we wanted to take one final chapter to address that before the end of the book because we have talked to plenty of other fans who have felt the same way.”
The tone is more somber, but I just didn’t buy it. It was more of the same from these authors - retelling and stats. There was little to no discussion on misogyny and sexism in the franchise, as they mentioned, would be discussed as well. At the end of it is one wishy-washy paragraph that talks about how the show needs to change. They are still going to watch it but only to hold it accountable and ensure the producers don’t use viewer cuts to behave worse than they do now. The whole section was anticlimactic considering it was just a retelling of producer manipulated racial plots and Rachel Lindsey and Matt James' seasons. It also recapped the fallout with Chris Harrison. There are intriguing race related statistics like screen time not included in the book. Telling people who watch the Bachelor that the producers are horrible and manipulative is not new. The authors should tell us how and why it is a problem, which can be effectively done using stats they are so fond of.
Overall
I gave this book two stars on account of being impressed by the sheer discipline of the authors watching every episode and making extensive notes (and stats!). The title is, “How to Win the Bachelor: The Secret to Finding Love and Fame on America’s Favorite Reality Show” and I guess they do that if you can determine what is sincere advice. There was too much content dedicated to stuff that no one will care about unless they are taking this book as genuine gospel for getting on the show and trying to win. I wouldn’t even recommend the book be used that way because of the tone discrepancies.
This book is a good example that just because you can watch every episode of the Bachelor and do simple math on a wide range of scenarios doesn't mean you should. As a nonfiction, it failed to meet any of the genre requirements; it didn't inform, explain, teach, or persuade.
As for the ending, which alluded to moving on to do the Bachelorette in the same vein, I will not be picking up that book. That is because I never want to read an entire chapter again that loops the words, “Then”, “And then” over and over to tell, verbatim, what happened on a TV show until I fall asleep and wake up with my beloved e-reader having fallen on the floor and my face fresh with couch impressions.
The book closes out one of the final chapters with this uninformed and abysmal quote:
“And in some ways we’ve seen firsthand how much more influential social media and reality TV are than traditional sports. We’ve never had a pro football player in the White House, but we have had a reality TV star who used twitter to win an election.”
Does this sound like people who even care about the events that they wrote about in the, “Being Complicit” Chapter?
January 16, 2022
Fantastic, comprehensive, and incredibly effective at presenting “The Bachelor” as the sport that it is. It would be impossible to read this and maintain that the show is primarily about “finding love.” I expect it to create a reckoning moment for the franchise and the commentary surrounding it.
December 30, 2021
Here's the thing... if it is your goal to be a contestant on The Bachelor, or you have already been selected as a contestant on The Bachelor, this is the book for you. The title is perfectly descriptive, as this nonfiction guide walks you through exactly what you need to do to secure your chances of The Ring, The Crown, and/or Instagram Followers. There is no doubt that this book fills the void of Bachelor guides and provides useful advice for future contestants (even if they have to hide the fact they read it from, well, everyone).
But if you are NOT a future/aspiring Bachelor contestant... this book may not be worth reading. As a huge fan of Lizzie and Chad's Game of Roses Podcast (I am IN the pit, y'all), I was super excited to read this book. I have read many Bachelor books--Courtney Robertson's, Bachelor Nation, and more--as I always like a peak behind the curtain. But this book isn't really that. It's also not really satire. Or, if it was trying to be satire, it missed the mark. Unlike the podcast, it doesn't bring the funny.
There's also a somewhat out-of-place, out-of-the-blue chapter on racism in the franchise near the end of the book. While racism in The Bachelor franchise is undoubtedly a hot topic and an important one, it feels random in this spot--like it was thrown in after the Chris Harrison debacle and written after the fact. I think its content would have been better digested if sprinkled elsewhere in the book and what doesn't fit elsewhere is unnecessary for this kind of book.
That being said, if they wrote "How to Win The Bachelorette" or "How to Win Bachelor in Paradise," I'd probably read those, too, out of morbid curiosity at a minimum.
Note to the publisher: the charts are near impossible to read in e-book.
Thanks to Gallery for my eARC! All thoughts and opinions are my own.
3 stars - 6/10
But if you are NOT a future/aspiring Bachelor contestant... this book may not be worth reading. As a huge fan of Lizzie and Chad's Game of Roses Podcast (I am IN the pit, y'all), I was super excited to read this book. I have read many Bachelor books--Courtney Robertson's, Bachelor Nation, and more--as I always like a peak behind the curtain. But this book isn't really that. It's also not really satire. Or, if it was trying to be satire, it missed the mark. Unlike the podcast, it doesn't bring the funny.
There's also a somewhat out-of-place, out-of-the-blue chapter on racism in the franchise near the end of the book. While racism in The Bachelor franchise is undoubtedly a hot topic and an important one, it feels random in this spot--like it was thrown in after the Chris Harrison debacle and written after the fact. I think its content would have been better digested if sprinkled elsewhere in the book and what doesn't fit elsewhere is unnecessary for this kind of book.
That being said, if they wrote "How to Win The Bachelorette" or "How to Win Bachelor in Paradise," I'd probably read those, too, out of morbid curiosity at a minimum.
Note to the publisher: the charts are near impossible to read in e-book.
Thanks to Gallery for my eARC! All thoughts and opinions are my own.
3 stars - 6/10
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